Wednesday, June 29, 2005

tiring first three days.both mentally and physically.study study study.='(sad.haiis.good luck crystal!!can one tml.then nx week its your turn to wish me good luck.yay=)
ilustillandforever-
valerie loves you

Saturday, June 25, 2005

school's reopening in 2 days time.okay.less than 2 days.urgh.havent even completed my homework.someone please slap me.eeyer.how.sighs.okay.obvious right.haha.
i feel nervous.for various reasons.mainly because school's reopening and i am not prepared for term 3.sure gonna be hectic and definetely different from all the other years in cedar.4 years just zoomed by.and my time here is going to be over soon.sighs.
anyway,i think i had alot of fun this june.got to know a few people better.oh wells.term reopening liao.no more time to crap so much.sighs.
take care people.all the way-
valerie loves you

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

sorry xiaomeii.didnt msg you these few days.but that doesnt mean i forgot you!!you're still here deep down in my heart *points* been a bit bleah.more of slacker bleah.then when have things to do then i'll be busy lor.haha.my sms bill ka-boomed liao.then you dont use singtel so i cant use internet sms to msg you.sorry kae!!aiyoo.wondering how you've been.hope your huge pile of hmk have been reduced to nothing.i still have some hmk left.and alot alot of revision to do!!urgh.okay.hope you're well and evt!!bet you're doing good.haha.school's reopening.people keep rubbing it in.like urgh.
and my mum keeps saying i'll get skin cancer.weii.is forgot to put on my back what.i put sunblock on my arms and legs and face.but i forgot my back.bad.it looks so disgusting now.my goodness.haiyoo.howhowhow.everyone's commenting on it.boo.
valerie loves you

tired.sunburn hurts.everyone's commenting abt it.my mum says i look like some roasted pig or chicken whatever.it hurts man.ouch.cant sleep properly.sighs.
imissyou
valerie loves you

Sunday, June 19, 2005

what should i do.please give me some advice.i'm abit helpless here..hmms
valerie loves you

wishes.
just like stars.
so far away.
far far away..
people say if you wish upon a star,
maybe your wishes and dreams might come true.
really?
i've tried.
but it didnt come true..
wishes.
if only people's wishes could come true.
how nice would that be..
Then i would wish for everyone i know to be happy.
for everyone to have no worries.
everyone to enjoy life
and to have no regrets.
i would wish for good health.
happiness,joy,laughter.
no more pain and suffering.
for all those in the third world countries to be cured of all illness and diseases.
for evil to disappear.
and only good to reign.
for only praises and singing of happiness and jubilation.
not scoldings and naggings.
for everyone to be mature people
and to live life happily ever after.
if only.
if only..
but please grant me this simple wish.
take care of yourself and sleep well,eat well.
and stop thinking about rubbish things.
take care my dear..ilu
valerie loves you

haha.they're back.urgh.okay.i dunno.but she keeps throwing me some kinda looks that like are you regretting now?not really i would answer.haha.i am evil,i am bad,i am selfish.whatever.i dont know i guess.maybe??hee
had a slacker day yet again.watching tv.the shows were darn touching.there was one about a cancer patient and her guy and stuff.very touching.i think i cried for about half hour.haha.nice show.then there was another one about a rebelious girl.reminds me abit of myself.so i cried too.too ashamed to think about it.haha.er,then there were some other shows,so i guess i just got hooked.haha.bihuan is going to kill me for not studying.
my eyelids keep thudding.argh.is something bad gonna happen..please no.
haha.take care people!!
iloveyou.take good care of yourself.please.
valerie loves you

haha.i'm burnt.my back is.i put sunblock on my arms and legs and face but i forgot my back.its red.but it isnt as bad as my sister's.haha.oh wells.it isnt even nice the burn.its like totally not even and weird.i dont like.want to go tan again.boo hoo.my face is not even black at all.haiis.disappointed with the sun.haha.but maybe its a good thing though.i think my back will
peel.like my sister's.molting snake.haha=)
the picnic was fun.except that there werent many of us.but too bad for those who didnt want to come.or couldnt make it.haha.it was funny.coz we were in the sea playing.i regretted wearing fbt.coz the flap kept trapping air then ballooned up looked so funny.haha.there were dogs.so many siberian huskies!!haha.so cute.except one pooed at the beach.pams and i were quite disgusted.we ate alot of junk.end up nv eat lunch and dinner.properly la.but eat alot of crap.haha=)then we went to wash up.eewws.there was some woman there doing some disgusting things.shant go into explicit detail.haha.thinking about it makes me eeeeeeee.haha=)

hehheh.oh wells.tired.left sentosa at 2 coz pams had to leave.so went to orchard to find san and sheena.their streetsales were funny.haha.there was this guy there having flag day for the yellow ribbon project.funny.he was quite nice la.hoho.then met liwen also.end up she was waiting for ariana.haha=)so funny.she couldnt recognise me.funny right.

then talked to bihuan for a long time.i felt quite bad.coz we were talking then i kept asking if i was disturbing.then she said no.then i ask ask until it became i dont know.haha.i sort of got the hint la.so asked her to go study.then dunno what happen,started talking again.haha.dunno abt what also.then i was planning to slp at 8 then nx morning wake up early.end up i slept near 11.haha.then i felt bad also coz i went to scare her about marbles.sorry okay!!i didnt mean it.funny.and you won the first bet.and i won the second.haha.12 am.no way okay.haha=)oh well.we're on par then.haiis.

this morning was deciding whether yes or no.in the end decided not to.coz i scared.haha=)
they called again.haha.asked me a question and my answer was immediately a no.haha.too bad.you know i wont say yes.and they're coming back at 3 smt.my freedom is over!!!urgh.too bad.but now at least maybe i might not be cashless anymore.haha.and my phone bill ka-boomed already.die.not looking forward to the pathetic bill.boooo.

okay.take care people.have fun.

valerie loves you

Friday, June 17, 2005

haha.just had a chat with pam lee.she's cute!!=) chatted for 1 hr and 35 mins.long huh!realised she's my longest friend!i've known her since we were lil kids aged five.so i've known her for eleven years now!!how cool is that.whee.so cute.cant imagine little valerie and little pamella=)yay.realised she's a very nice person to crap with.finally regained my crappiness.so funny.i remember the time we had a discussion about the rich guy poor guy dying thing.and about life.so cool!!pamella.you rock.i dunno but you somehow let me be myself?as in like we can talk about alot of crap.and i somehow feel we can connect and relate.dunno.maybe we have some things in common i guess.hahaha.have fun preparing your cocktail babe!!you guys will get by and you make a good mummy!!heeex=) yayyayyay.pamella.whee.my longest knowing friend.yay!=) i'm happy today.
i'm still thinking about youu and wondering if you're okay and everything.hope everything's going fine.i'm sure it is.yepp.hope you'll be well and healthy and everything.knowing that you're alright gives me the assurance and i think thats enough,i'm contented to know that you're okay and happy and everything.when you're happy i am too.yay.okay.so hope everything's going fine and it'll zoom by from here.yupp.hope that maybe you'll be relieved from some of your burden sometime soon.but no worries.i think you will!!=)we've all gone through it and we're still alive and kicking.haha=)and not goldfish mah.so ya!can one.whooos.ilu
picnic.hohohoho.hope it'll turn out fine.it will.please dont rain!!
valerie loves you

today.haha.i think delphine is cute!!=) so long nv see you le.but you still havent changed my dear.still speak the same way,still eat in the same way.haiis.i miss you.too bad i couldnt go back after that.haiis.sadly.
nvm.still can stay in contact.take care people.i think hardly anyone has changed actually.everyone's still about the same.the same cliques and everything.no change.haha
i need a big big eraser.take and erase out my unhappy past.and use colourful pencils to draw out a beatiful rainbow.i drew 2!!yay!!i think it looks abit queer but i dont care.its for two special people!!yay.and i drew stars too!i have fallen in love with stars.and black paper!!yayyayyay.erase quick erase.all the unhappy things.*takes the eraser and rubs at my brain and heart furiously!!*i dont want anymore.i am getting out of it NOW.yesh.this sounds like someone familiar.okay.i'm out of it.
they called again.okay so i guess they go actually remember me and care about me la.haha.okay.was just overreacting.
and i shant care about unnecessary things anymore.shall be like bihuan.study and dont care about rubbish.i will be nice.and i wont say bad things about people.be like someone.haha
i do not care.haha.about unhappy things.some things arent worth my tears and they arent worth my concern about.so yesh.i will be =) like someone told me to.yayyayyay.
san!!we two gao le right.haha.third party.lame lame.dont tell zihui.and jieming and bter.*shhhh!!* haha.zihui,you triggered it off!!ahhhaaa.dont ask that question anymore coz i no longer know the answer.when i have a solid answer i will tell you okayy??haha.
part time boyfriend!!or maybe girlfriend.but not possible la.your hair is too short and bung!!!haha.hehheh.i didnt forget you la.whee.lame lame.but you forget me okay.in the middle of the night i think whether you rmb me.end up always i ask you go sleep first.take care of yourself eh.hope your dreadful cough is gone.and i hope that you have not been caught by the dreadful mathematics monster!!=) i will run and save you from it!!yayyayyay.bad evil monster.shoo!!dont disturb her..ahhhh.box you arh.or better POKE you ah.=) and you dont poke her ok.i will cry i tell you.be nice!
whee.xiaomeii and arica!!good luck for tml.you guys will make it.you all will!!yayyayyay.take care of yourself.picnic is going to be fun.i will miss my gang.you guys pangseh me man.eeee.i will miss yuanli kate crys and weisan.eeee ='( bully me.haha
haha.and blogging is addictive.i said i wont but here i am.and i aint blogging about incessant worries and crap anymore right??=) yayyayyay.i love being legless and wheelchair bound.yesh.

and i love youu darling.take care of yourself!!!=) you're cute you know.haha.i will be happy.so i hope you will too.busyness does not equal loss of sleep.so sleep more eat more drink more.dont worry too much about everything.because it'll turn out fine coz i'm praying for you!!i promised to walk every step of the way with you and i intend to keep that promise.ya?if have anything,alw rmb that my number is 24 hours de.i'll alw be here to listen to you whine(as if you do) and all your problems and i will TRY to help to give you advice ok!!i will always be here for you.always.dont forget that.everytime you feel the urge to cry or break down or scream or laugh or share the joke just pick up the phone and dial those eight numbers.okay??i promise to always be here.i intend to keep that one too.*gou gou shou zi*small pinky eh!!=)must take care eh.i will be more considerate and i will not think rubbish!!i never le.since i came home and hung up with someone i have not thought about rubbish.really!!believe me- YAY.and i wont say sorry anymore.just let me say it one last time.sorry for saying so many sorries.okay.done!and you dont go and think rubbish okay.really.dont.its not very good for you.see what it has done to me.and i dont want it to be done to you either!!i dont want you to be swallowed up by the evil worry thinking monster!!i cant lose you,geddit.ya.=)
the mini zoo rocks.and it will alw support you de.ya??jia alot alot of you!!can one.can one!!coz i said so.and you better listen to me!!yay.
i have been good okay.been eating every meal and drinking enough water and taking care of myself and sleeping well and studying hard.(i hope about the studying part)and not crying much anymore.25 times.its a nice number and i plan to stop there.heh.yesh
everyone just jia you.everyone will make it if we work hard enough.yay.
motivation sets in on the last week of the holidays.
dont panic when school reopens
i think there is a chem test which is 2 hrs long on the first week of school?or is it the first day?oh well.okayy.take care people.study hard!!and be nerds.its worth it.i think.haha=)jia you ba.
i'll be nice.sorry to that evil woman and man.though you were evil to me,i think maybe you deserve another chance.sorry eh.have fun.coz i wont be there any longer.but nvm!=)
i love youu loads and heaps and mountains.=)like river and ocean and the sky.whoa.so big!!!=)
valerie loves you

haha.promised i would write this.
i love yuen bi huan!!=)haha.okay.
i love weisan
i love crystal
i love kate
i love yuanli
i love janica
i love shalini
i love pam sia
i love pam lee
i love shalom
i love exco 04/05
i love elyssa
i love arica
i love yusin
i love sining
i love shermaine
i love dhilshad
i love achala
i love amira
i love zhenluan
i love cedar prefectorial board and my conshares
i love yilan
i love seok kian
i love jeralyn
i love yani
i love tracy
i love sherry
i love celine
i love flute section 05
i love claire
i love shu hui
i love shu yan
i love nanthini
i love kate
i love crystal
i love bihuan
i love band leaders 04/05
i love jasimah
i love weili
i love kitchen dept
i love aprie
i love liwen
i love abigail
i love elga
i love sheena
i love eve
i love lijie
i love sally
i love shini
i love 4N 05
i love jie ming
i love brenda
i love yuanli
i love siew teng
i love shuen ling
i love zihui
i love bernice
i love weisan
i love denise
i love chengyi
i love mavis people.haha.
i love jia wen
i love yvonne
i love cedar
i love rosyth
i love my family
i love god
i love the mini zoo
i love myself
i love youu
i love zhenluan
valerie loves you

even when you're gone,i have to be reminded of you.urgh.dreams.silly imagination.some people just dont get them,but i get them everynight.since the start of june holidays.out of one week maybe 6 days i get nightmares.arghhh.please spare me from this rubbish.and the dumb thing is that i cant rmb anything that is going on in it.hahaha.okay.nvm.
sighs
valerie loves you

Thursday, June 16, 2005

even though you're back,it still seems as if you arent.coz you're too busy.too busy for everything.i feel a bit ='( coz i cant seem to talk to you coz you're too busy.but i cant be selfish.valerie wake up!!*slaps self*far far away.so near yet so far...
ahha.further and further away from the harbour i go.drifting and drifting like a piece of plankwood.gone in a flash.*whoosh* no more.no more happiness and no more joy.high tide comes and carries it away further.it is soon broken up into fragments and perhaps ceases to exist.goodbye dear plankwood.rest in peace-
the selfish side appears and tries to take over.double personality.scary.free me from myself.my reality.my pain.my selfishness.i need a new self.a new body.a new personality.a new valerie.a happy one.
blogging is addictive.yuck.addiction-eeeeeeee.i dont like.
sunny day please tomorrow and satuarday.sunny day!!=)black black.i want.i hope.but i hope i wont end up a red boiled lobster and after a molting snake like two people.ahhha.who ah??*winks*whoos.dear lil best friend.get well soon!
hope dear crystal gets well soon.babe.throat infection again ah.haiyo.get well soon ya!!Hope to see you tml-in the pink of health!!!yayyayyay.crystal rocks man.=)
hope to see you at picnic too kate.=)heehee.takkaire ya.you look abit tired these days as well.hmms.take care of yourself eh.dont lose your precious beauty sleep over unneccessary stuff.hope their buisness takes off well.
and hope youu're well too.haven really heard from you recently-
=)=)=)
valerie loves you

they called.so oh well.maybe they do care after all.said that they bought some stuff.whoo.its good to know that you're still remembered and loved.sorry guys,i am really a very very insecure person.haiis.cant help it la.
okay.my hands smell of mushrooms and carrots.was cutting them.having fun.and my house has so much rice krispies now.sis made them and now i will eat them.yumm!!
i will get fatter and fatter *gulps* oh no.a fat roly polly hippo.*yelps*how how.haha.nah
i will not live my life in regret anymore.i dont want to.so now,i will apologise for talking rubbish.and sorry for saying things that might let you worry or what so ever,but ya.forget everything i said okay?it was all rubbish.i wasnt in the right frame of mind i guess.hmms.
what san said is quite true.friendship is the acceptance of another person.its just like love.only at a different depth and understanding.yupp.must learn to accept even if we dont like.ahhh realisation*__ it dawns on me now.haha.
okayy.i just hope they'll have a fun time,coming home looking all black.haiis.maybe she'll braid her hair and most prob go do some manicure and pedicure.haiis.vanity.oh well.
tml there's supposedly a class gathering,but its thursday night and i still dun know where we're meeting and everything?amanda!!reply my message you poot.ahha.okay.hope to know where we're meeting some time SOON.like now.haha.urgh.okay.study time for me now.sec 4s,must studyy ehh.prelims are coming.urgh!haiis.
not much progress i'm afraid.slacking and slacking.been catching up on my sleep.thankfully.but i wish i could donate some of it to someone.youu
ilu*_______
valerie loves you

i think being cooped up at home for 2 days has made my brain go kaboom.burnt already.thinking too much.crap.going out tomorrow and wasting my whole day.urgh.cant stand it.dont feel like going out.going to become a nerd one day.i hope-
man.arghs.dunno what i'm thinking also.think until brain go bye bye liao.nevermind.
stop thinking and start studying.haha.talking to a very funny person helps me destress.right.=P you are so nice to suan and quarrel with.ahhahaha.=) yay.and you are lame and i think you are amusing haha.but i cant laugh at you coz you'll think i'm mad so inside my heart i am giggling like mad.whee.you are naughty.always sleep and wake up angry angry.haha.i think you are darn scary when you are angry.no wonder so many people are scared of you.yay.i would like to sing a song for you!!=)yay.but i cant la.
and shalini.i look forward to seeing you on sat!!so i can sing my favourite song for you.wheeee!!=)planting rice is never fun!!!whee.lalala` shalini,dont you just lurrve that song??hahaha.yay!!if not i'll sing happy birthday.
yayyayyay.i like.and i hope to be black.ahaha
oh ya.i have a wish today.i wish to be rich so i can buy my best friend a piano to play.and maybe hire her a piano teacher to teach her how to play piano.hello best friend?you reading this.haha.yes i need the reassurance =) can you please provide me with it.heheh.dont be nehneh.=)yay.
must be happy.if not how everyone will be sad and the world will be a gloomy place.so yesh.i've decided.i will try to be happy.yes san?=)yayyayyay.going siao already.siao-ness.here i come!
xiaomeii!!take care of yourself eh.you guys will make it for picnic de!!okay?take care!dajielovesxiaomeii-
-dontletmebeahardheartedsoul.idontwantto.lifeisfulloflove.nothate
and hope you didnt read too much into it.it was totally crap.please delete it.=)

valerie loves you

they've left.maybe i should have gone too.to escape my reality here.but come to think of it,thats not really an option either.because going away with them might cause them extra misery as well.why has my relationship with everyone turned out like that?i think its because of my stubborn character.everyone has given up on me.officially.
and go also dont bother to say bye.and whatever.say i call him up to scold him and tell my grandfather.whatever ok.i did no such thing.whatever.haiis.i feel like giving up on myself as well.i cant stand it anymore.give me no freedom and always invade into my privacy.think i dont know.hello man.i'm not that stupid.
its the end man.hah.i dunno how to survive cashless.you know what,i think my anger is turning into hate.how can i hate you?i dont want to.dont make me.please.

valerie loves you

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

waiting is quite a torture.
waiting for something that you are longing for is even a greater torture.
been getting by quite poorly.
spending quite alot of time on drawing.haha=)
and folding stars.hand very pain.but nvm.haha.
wondering how you've been getting on.hope you've been well.oh wells.
takkaire.
valerie loves you

my freedom.another 10 more hours.yesh!
my intense displeasure with you is growing.i dont like to say this,but.hah i dont really like you anymore.you treat me like some slave.as if i owe you a big fat living.hello.wake up please.you expect me to survive on nothing.like i belong to the alien family.hah.its okay.you wont be around for a few more days.yay.i'll have loads of fun.WITHOUT you.yay.=)
you are irresponsible.no wonder i like him better than you.he's good and nice to me.and at least he treats me like an adult.or maybe a human being.i love him.he's the best.and too bad you arent.and i am not afraid to say it in your face.in his presence.haha.loser.
its coming to an end,i'm afraid.i'm too scared to let go.haiis.
nonono
valerie loves you

pain.and sorrow.
its all in the mind.
however,i am sad to admit that i am too weak.
far too weak.
to dispel all these horrors from my mind.
the painful past.
the painful past.
and maybe the beautiful memories.
stay here,linger on, to cause me more pain.
let me stand here in the rain.
let me.i need to wash away my sorrows,cast my burdens away.
i want to forget.all my unhappiness and irritation.
i only want to see a new happy beginning for all of us.
but,it seems so far fetched.
oh my.

valerie loves you

i would.
i would hold your hand and walk you every step of the way.
if you would let me.
i would wipe away your tears and cry with you.
if you would let me.
i would sing a song for you to make you laugh and laugh with you.
if you would let me.
i would run away with you if you wanted to.
if you would let me.
i would cry my heart out for all your sorrows and pain.
if you would let me.
i would laugh at your jokes and make you happy.
if you would let me.
would you let me be that one?
i dont know.
its okay.
escaping from reality.it bites.
valerie loves you

i feel that sometimes whatever i say carries no meaning anymore.i just say them to comfort people,encourage people.no one takes me seriously anymore.so i just end up talking those rubbish for the sake of it.nevermind.
i used to tease people like eh why today rain ah?orhh,you cry isit?huh huh?
now.i realised it applies to myself.everytime i cry,it rains.really.interesting hah.not saying that everytime it rains means i cried,but everytime i cry,it rains.so i better cry during the drought periods.i dont know.but used to have some joke about it.but now,doesnt seem like a joke anymore,does it?
i am a very impulsive person.i dont say it,but sometimes i think it.like i feel like screaming i dont like you!i hate you!why did you do all these to me to make me like that?why???why did you have to appear and everything?but after that i think to myself.like how is it possible i hate her?it is like not possible.so ya.my mind.thinks too hard about irrelavent things.bahh.yuck.its back to the past again.where i would have all these stupid thoughts.oh man.oh why.i wish i could stop myself from thinking.i want to.i want to stop here.arghhs.
escape from reality!i want to get out of this house.run away.legs,bring me far far away.further and further so i dont have to face up to the real world.what a coward you are man.haiis.its okayy.life is like that i guess.
oh wells.everyone have fun!!=)
ilu still
valerie loves you

words.simply made up of letters and perhaps punctuation.different permutations and combinations of which make up different words.reorientate the letters and they give you words with different pronunciations and meanings.but guess what.some of these words,being said or written give you satisfaction,such as like you were good at this.some however,make you sad,angry,depressed etc.on the other hand,words not being spoken could lead to joy or sorrow.why is life made to be such?why are we so affected by what others say or dont say?why do we get so uptight about these?they are just merely words.but they affect us by leaps and bounds.sadly,i am one of the unfortunate who is highly affected by such.because of my highly sensitive personality.and i am very insecure too.its okay.this is life.my new aim is not to be so affected by these situations.i will stop being silly and cry over stupid things.thanks bihuan.=) for alw being there for me.=)haha.lobster girl.take care people.=)
nothing
valerie loves you

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

i am so sorry.
i have been mean.
and its not really my imagination.
so ya,
here i am.
sorry.*bows heads*
been horrid.bad valerie *slaps myself* yuck-
band was bleah today.man that person sucks.
okay.someone's on the line.gtg bye-
valerie loves you

Monday, June 13, 2005

i think i deserve a wallop.for everything mean and bad i've done.everything i've done to cause people pain and hurt and worry.i need to reflect.valerie.stop dwelling on the past.nothing will make them come back.*slaps myself*haiis.i deserve more beatings man.and more pokes.i need run away.run away from the real world.all the pathetic states of everyone.drift away to my lala land where everything is perfect.no sorrow,no pain,no unhappiness.only joy,laughter,happiness.if only.i seem to always be coming back to this subject right.the if only.hahs.if only the world was perfect which is impossible.hahaha.very funny.

valerie loves you

i wish you would forgive me for my lack of understanding.
my impatience,
and my horrid thoughts.
i wish you would forgive me for my insensitivity
and my bad behaviour.
i wish you would forgive me for running away from you.
you loved me so.
but i gave it away.
i refused your love and i shook my head.
now i regret.
can you love me once more.
you were so patient towards me.
so loving.
everything i wanted you gave.
i became insolent.
became wilful.
acted against your will.
i wish you would take me back again.
i want to get back on track.
i want others to stop worrying for me.
i wish to be yours again.
can i?
i am sorry for all my sins.
i need you.
truly-
thank you for everything you've provided and given me.i love you.
god
valerie loves you

you know i want to turn back time.
because everything that was here in the past seems to be gone.
gone forever.
gone like the wind.
taken away from me.
snatched away.
stolen away.
gone.
too late for regrets woman.
they're gone.no more.
yes.i cant accept it.yet.
but eventually.i will have to.
i miss my past.i want it back.thinking of it makes me wanna ='(
haiis.nothing matters anymore.
what used to,ceases to exist no.
nothing matters,no one bothers.yay.wonderful life we lead.
haiis.i miss everything i used to have,used to possess,used to own.
that are no longer mine and are now beyond reach.byebye to my past.
my happy joyous past.
hello to my new beginning.of sorrow and pain.whoos`_
paranomia and pessimissim.
worry and thought.
my new life.begins today.
i have let go everything that isnt meant to be mine.
goodbye
sighhs
valerie loves you

ooohh!someone has a sexy butt eh.haha.=) sniggers.weii.
valerie loves you

Sunday, June 12, 2005

went shopping todayy.whee.sales.ahha.main purpose was to buy a pram/stroller for my cousin's baby which is due in july.so cute!!lil baby girl.whee.cute!!haha.i realise that i am going to be an auntie soon.whee.anyway,i think that babies nowadays are pampered kids.like some branded strollers cost thousand over bucks!!thats alot man.bet its darn comfy in there.what do you expect.thousand over man.rich people.haha.mama said that in the past we could only affort fifty dollar one.then me and my sister share.so cute!cant imagine.i rmb me liking to push my sister on it.haha.so fun!!=)kids then and kids now.whoos.
baby stuff are cute!=) all the toys and everything.haiis.if only.time could turn back.little kid again!so funn.hee.but too bad.it aint gonna happen.
heard many oldies today.sighs.reminising about the good old days.nvm.haha.
anw,take care!!=)
though we talk less and less.you're still in my heart.forever and always.oneandonly`-
valerie loves you

pondering about everything.realised that i really havent been understanding or sensitive enough.i sincerely apologise to everyone whom i've offended and whoever i have not been understanding to.yepp.
espyouu
valerie loves you

Saturday, June 11, 2005

came home not long ago from lunch and shopping.sooo tired.walk only a small part of suntec and marina square.haha.shopping was finally fufilling today.coz mum was around.haha.nah.bought 3 pairs of earrings,2 shorts,1 shirt,a new wallet.haha.lunch was buffet.haha.full.too much.but the funnest part was that that place had a chocolate fountain!!!heee.so fun.play with the food.haha.take the fruit and put inside.hee.nice.i like white chocolate better.=)
*yawns*sleeepy__i am going to sleep and wake up to do my work later.nights!!=)takkaire.
ifeelsadtoday.
valerie loves you

i feel as if i am getting a cold.sneezing syndrome + feverish body.add to third day cramps.dont make sense.its already the third day and cramps still occur.weirdo.yucks.eeeeee.hahs.very good man.what a time to get sick.just as i was talking about myself being a jinx making others sick and myself not sick.so,maybe i aint a jinx?or maybe i'm a jinx who makes myself sick.hah.doent make sense.
realised i havent been talking things that make sense recently.feel like my brain is already dead.everytime i talk to bihuan then will huh here huh there.think she talk to me until pek chek.and who says i will pangseh you lor.weii.you are so bad to me.hurmphs,see whose bad to who!eeee.baddy girl.hee.i am a nice person la miss yuen.i feel like singing a song.or maybe i shouldnt publicise it here.if not someone will kill me.*erhm*who ah?hee.if you kill me my mum will kill you.hehheh.=P *sticks out tongue* you cannot win me one la.hee.and i dont scream at you!eee.you bad bad girl.always complain that i talk too much about certain things.and i alw talk about your sensitive spot.haha.sorry.i just always unknowingly poke and poke at it right.and i know you want to poke me.too bad!!i'm outta reach.wont be seeing you anytime soon so you cant do anything to me.and i will pinch your cheeks.and yes yes,your suggestion i will consider.wait is no need you to suggest i will already do one.heh.and i seriously think you still cant find my blog.not knowing the URL.haha.or should i say the link.heehee.*sniggers*okok.i shall stop being mean.just go see a doctor and get yourself cured la.if not someone will *piang-ed*right..heehee.dont say i say one ah.hee.so in conclusion.i am talking to someone who doesnt even know i am talking to her.hah.how funny.
i am wasting my time away.yet again.
valerie loves you

sighs.i find eating a chore nowadays.bleahx.eating is so monotonous.eating the same old food everyday.same old routine.putting it into your mouth and chew and swallow.i dont get the taste actually.just eat for the sake of living.and if i dont eat the whole world will nag me to eat.so i have to eat la.and of course i will eat.if i dont eat i will suffer the consequences,namely gastric pains,low blood,and someone's anger,or maybe heartache.so hah.i have to eat though i dont want to.haiis.why become liddat eh.eating=chore.haiis.
anw,you take care of yourself.see you so mang my heart break lehh.but i know you cant do anything abt your workload and neither can i do anything to help.so,oh well.just jia you.it's ending soon.and it is definetely worth it.it is.your hard work WILL pay.confirm.valerie doesnt lie.hee=) okie.take care!!huggs-
i am falling deeper and deeper in love with youu.
valerie loves you

Friday, June 10, 2005

pain!!eee.i hate this.bleahx.
valerie loves you

guess i am too stubborn.i know i shouldnt be mulling over this, but i am like seriously getting worried?more and more worried.you know.like thinking and thinking.cant stop thinking.sorry.i cant help it.i am so sorry kae.din mean to get you into rubbish.sorry!!what can i do to express my apologises.i had better start thinking of the consequences before i act on something.valerie.wake up!!*screams* oh man!!how how how.sorry ok.sorry!!eeeee.dont slap me.i know you dont like me to say sorry.and i dont like you to say sorry to me either.yep.i cant 以身作则。ya.how.sorry eh.
quote of the day:不听老人眼，吃亏在眼前
大大的抱歉！
once again.s o r r y-
valerie loves you

i feel very guilty.haiis.i am a bad girl.get people into trouble.bad bad valerie.
i wish i could give you some of my time.mine seems abundant.time crawled along this week.if only.i could relieve you of your burden and maybe share half the load with you.if only i could give you half my rest.if only i could help you.if only.if only.
valerie loves you

i've eaten okay!!dont worry about me ya..please..i am really okayy!!serious.=)yay.haha.heart ache instantly cured`- heeeeeeeee..takkaire loads!!
xiaomeii please take care of yourself.hope you've been good.
san please dont think too much.you mustn be like me okayy!!sleep well, eat well.
bihuan go and see a doctor.please.getting sick for so long is no joke ya.
youu.yay.finally back liao.rest well okay.dont stress out.you'll be fine!!ya..i'll be here every step of the way to catch you if you fall.please take care!!*piang-ed*
oh wells.everyone just slp more eat more drink more rest more and be happy more.=)yay.
` ilu -
valerie loves you

haha.my dumb sister went to sentosa yesterday.now come back looking like a bolied lobster.so red!!i bet it hurts like mad.must use moisturiser.her skin will start peeling like some onion man.and i think she thinks looking red is nice.eeeee.look like some roasted pig man.yuck.and now so late alr still sleeping.very piggy hor.she is too vain for her own good.eeeee.vain pot.
most people cant imagine that she's my sis.alot of people say we look alike,some people say we dont.i think we sort of look abit alike.there was once we went to take passport photo.then we wore the same design shirt but different colour.hairstyle more or less similar.then the photo come out,my dad couldnt recognise from far.then he put wrong one.wa.darn blur hor.haha..

her hair colour and eye colour different from me.her nose shape and mouth shape also very different .now hair style also very different and she wears braces and shes abit shorter than me.apparently bihuan says we have the sme habits.because she kept biting her lip the last time they all saw her during syf.and so do i.*winks*i dunno..but oh well.i'm not very close to her.since we dont sleep in the same room anymore and i seldom see her nowadays.

she is very different from me in terms of character.very very.she is like so vain.i dun understand how she became like that.always want to go manicure pedicure what pluck eyebrow dunno what la.pluck leg hair whatever nonsense.so vain!!eeee.how ah.and she dont study one.dunno what she doing also.haha.okay.but no matter how much we quarrel and everything,she's still my sis la.and i still love her no matter how much she irritates me.haha.huggs`
valerie loves you

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me
I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like
I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all
I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like
I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all
I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on,
but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like
I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

man.i love this song.always hear and think alot then cry.boo.whats wrong with me eh.siao alr.i summore used to laugh at people who cry when listening to songs.now i should laugh at myself.hehheh.eeeeeee!!
valerie loves you

whoa.my primary 6 class is damn united.until now still going for gathering.whee.yes yes.amanda i miss you too.=) haha.
haiis.sitting around doing nothing is killing me.i know i should be studying.but when i sit down and try to study, i find that i cant concentrate for more than an hour.so i give up and do something else.namely read book,sleep,talk on the phone.haha.no more writing letter alr.hee.
shoots.now my stomach hurts again.how ah.always like that one.and add to stomach pain have that irritating cramps.eeew!i hate having stomach aches.but i huo gai one la.haiis.boo hoo.i am bored.but i shouldnt be feeling bored.ok.nvm.hah.
okay.have fun.4h55mins
valerie loves you

Thursday, June 09, 2005

or maybe i'm not dead.haha.=) whee.
valerie loves you

i think i cant sleep tonight.its called bu ting lao ren yan chi kui zai yan qian.very good valerie.hai si ren jing.i think i am such an ass.die man.whoos.prepare for your death.hah
valerie loves you

haha.i think i lost the bet 20 times.happy watching horror movies.and i think you lost count le right.haha.nvm.i win still la hor.hands down.crying queen of the year!!
valerie loves you

today had v bad cramps.sighs.couldnt go swimming.and the cramps sort of lead to a fever.i'm feeling abit feverish now.the sun looked so good.while eve lili and san went swimming,i sat in the house like a hermit tossing and turning trying to get the pain away.but it got better la.chatted with xiaomeii and bihuan.i think i used up alot of messages today.yay.overshot liao.heck.must save le.
yay.tml is friday.i'm happy!!!=)oh man.how on earth did i manage to survive this torturous week!oh man.tearing every night before i sleep.i never imagined myself to be so emotional.i thought i was just sensitive last time.now i realised how much emotions are contained inside of me.haha.i just try to evade them during the day.at night the things just start spewing out.and i guess thats why i have been getting recurring nightmares.and yesterday's one was very weird.a neutral dream.xiaomeii ah.you were the main character.i think coz you were the last to msg me last night thats why.i noticed that trend.
oh well.about 20 more hours to go!!yay.counting down.mad mad alr.
and i think i am the best.cramps still drink cold drink and never eat.oh man.please dont kil me!!i bet you will.ahhh.boo.okok.i will eat-later.hehex.
i think i lost weight too.there was this day when i had a bad day,no appetite to eat so never eat lunch and dinner.just drank alot alot of water.then drink water liao full alr so no space for food.so never eat lor.no wonder i have low blood.dont even supply my body with glucose right.haha.but i dont think i am losing alot of weight what.so its okay.haha.=) i will gain them back one.heehee.
yayyayyay.my pain just disappeared in the afternoon.haha.weisan will think i am mad.whee` a few more hours.yayyayyay.heeheehee.but the pain is back now.during tuition i wanted to die.luckily i crapped alot with bernice.haha.i go complain!!=) *winks* be nice ok bernice.heehee.
yes yes.be good right.eat my dinner right.sleep right.haha.
i think i am getting a loss of memory and becoming more and more naggy.exchange roles liao.when you come back i think i will be the naggy one.not you.haha.mother.i miss you man.heehee.mother like real.you younger than me right.sighs.i miss you.
nx week have class gathering.haha.i like so many years nv go.i miss you too amanda.haahaa.=)hope to see you on friday!!=)yayyyayyay.
okayy.i shall end here happily.take care!!and i hope my stupid cramps go away.shoooo!!

` a few more hours.patiently waiting _____ i cant wait.i miss you
so much man!

valerie loves you

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

ahhh.finally a sweet dream after 7 days of consecutive nightmares.whews.guess what's its abt??*winks*yay!!=)whee` guess 7 days was worth the wait huh!=)whee.reminders reminders.you seem to appear in every dream.but luckily nothing bad happened.if not i will cry and drown the whole world.ahhh.that stupid fishball.yuck!!haha=)
anw,takkaire..heehee

* youu _______ ` i miss youu

valerie loves you

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

nothing in life is perfect.
i guess we just have to accept others flaws.
and really my anger cant last more than a few minutes.
and they will just turn into regret and tears of disappointment.withmyself.
because i always say sorry when its not my fault.
forever like that.
nvm.
who ask me to be so soft hearted.
haha.nvm.
but crying truly hurts`
valerie loves you

Monday, June 06, 2005

and i sometimes think why i can treasure all my time i have with my close friends.but i cant seem to be able to be cherishing the time i have with my family.my loved ones.the ones who are related by blood ties and are the closest to me.yet i dont even care about whether they are here or not.how hopeless can i get?thats why i have been thinking of ways to salvage the situation.but unfortunately,i cant bring myself to be nice to them.because all they do is nag at me.and when i get nagged at i cant help but ignore and show an extremely black face.and after that i regret and i cant bring myself to say sorry.yes,youu are right.why cant i bring myself to say sorry to my family when i always say sorry to my friends even when i aint in the wrong?yepp.i wonder whyy.its just me being very stubborn.i dont understand my parent's rationale and i doubt they understand mine.i just dont bother and i dunno.the rest just follows.i want to get out of this!but i cant seem to.coz everytime i see you i feel soo irritated already.i dont even want to look at you.i think you might be a little too despo.trying to stick to me like some leech and calling me all the time!YUCK.i cant stand that.why cant you give me my own privacy and freedom and let me do what other people let their children do?you care too much about things you shouldnt and you dont care about things you should.like monetary stuff.you care about bills and everything.but do you even care if i go hungry in school?or even if i have enough money to come home?i dont think so.all you care about is deducting the bill from my pocket money.till i dont even have any money to survive on.like nothing to eat practically.and other people ask their children if they need money.you dont.maybe you might think i am unreasonable.but sometimes i think you just think of yourself.when you were sick you just groped around the house.lamenting about everything.blaming me.as if i passed the germs to you or whatever.saying i am inconsiderate when i didnt even do anything.i dunno.i feel so frustrated to be in this house.because everything that goes wrong always seem to land on my shoulders.all the blame i have to shoulder.even when something spoil always my fault.no logic.i dunno.maybe you dont think you are unreasonable.but to me you are.i dunno.i suddenly feel like screaming and shouting and crying.i dunno.enough enough.i shall stop here.thanks for reading`-
valerie loves you

haiis.i miss you!!eee.when you come back another week would have passed.i dont want time to pass yet i want you to come back.haha.but too bad.i cant control either.so shun qi zi ran ba!heehee.but i still miss you la.and i havent heard all about you in ages already.these days been hearing all the depressing songs.eee.i dont like.so i off the radio.already feeling tired and disappointed and sad enough still hear all these songs ah.really can cry man.eee.i think i am queer.crying when listening to weird songs.
people say you only learn to treasure when things are gone or taken away from you.its true.haha.but i have always treasured and cherished the times we had together.because i know that a time will come when i have to go.ya.so rest assured that i will alw treasure every single moment i have.

valerie loves you

boohoo.bihuan's still sick.get well soon babe.drink,eat,slp more!!rest well..takkaire..
valerie loves you

haha.as i was walking home today.i had a silly thought.if only i could live in a treehouse.haha.so fun right.then the mini zoo can live on a tree!but i think the hippo might make the whole house collapse.then the pig and squirrel will run away and the hippo will fall down.*boink*hee.then can support the piggeh and squirrel so wont get injured.ahh.so fun!!=)whee.nice thought.
then was thinking.link link link.when i was young i thought that atlantis actually existed.so fun man.living underwater!!having a house underwater.whee.
or perhaps we could live in a hot air balloon up there all the time.haha.or maybe not.=)
imagining is funn.yay.

xiaomeii ahh.dont worry for me le la.i am really honestly okayy.just tired and worn out coz of bhf and remedials and evt.haha.dont worry for me.i am really okayy.and thanks for pei-ing me.you din need to!!coz after awhile i became too tired of crying and thinking so i went to sleep.haha.always like that one.haha.you must eat more,drink more,sleep more and rest more!!okayy.you dont stress yourself out too much and dont tire yourself too much from thinking.haha.our thinking family-the mini zoo.hoho.i miss us.haiis.nvm.when term re-opens then.right?then we can go around like some crazy people.heehee.=)yayyayyay.hehex.dajielovesxiaomeii!!=)yay
valerie loves you

haha.xiaomeii ah.please dont worry abt me.i slpt around 12 after feeling too tired to think anymore.haha.
sorry to say but i sorta cried myself to sleep ytd.out of disappointment.in you people.to think we were once a big family.i think i am more of disappointed.maybe you dont think you are in the wrong or anything.but imagine if you were us.waiting and waiting.worrying that maybe you got into an accident or maybe lost your way.or maybe took the wrong side or whatever.you know.we were worried.and you just din appear.we waited and waited like some fools.finding things to do,self entertain,self amuse.walked here and there.stand sit,read,listen to music.man.maybe that place could be our second home.i mean you could have told one of us?i dunno.we are upset that you din come.whats happening man.
i mean.we used to be close once.or maybe this is what i feel?i dont understand you because you dont allow me to.i dunno what you are thinking what you feel and everything.but all i can say is that i am very sad.thought so much into it last night till i cried.ok. i dunno man.maybe you might think i am overreacting.but put yourself into our shoes.or maybe mine.how would you feel?okayy.forgetit.i just wish you would express some feeling.not like some cold person.a person i dont know.where are you.the person i used to know.and have so much fun with.do you know we were or maybe i was looking forward to you coming so we could sing together.too bad my hopes were dashed.i just wanted to break down and cry then.for everything we shared.once.maybe.this might sound really petty to you.but guess what.i am hurt.this shows how much i actually mean to you.nothing.nothing at all.maybe.maybe.
but nevertheless.we had fun right san and yuanli?eating our chicken and drinking our ribena.san.i love swimming officially!!=)yay.shall we go one day.was it thursday you said?yay.=)heehee.yuanli and san.whee.we rocked yesterday.phototaking with friends rock man.hee.too bad crystal we din hang out together ytd.nvm.there's alw another chance!!=)hee~
well.i missed you ytd.wondering how you are doing.hope the weather is good and you are doing fine!!hope you are having fun and enjoying yourself.today 3rd day liao!=)heehee.i miss you!eee.
anyway,take care ok people.you guys need more rest and some break from studying.have fun and dont stress out!!=)yay.
valerie loves you

Sunday, June 05, 2005

i miss you.boohoo.2nddaythere.havefun!!=)loveyaloads.
valerie loves you

haha.too bad.your attempt to spoil my day failed.hoho.you know what.i cant help but say this you suck.you think you are damn pro.just because you are an adult and you are paid doesnot mean anything.when you dont wanna do it you just throw it to me to do.best.just because you are not happy and you are irritated coz you think it is disorganised,you scream at me.why dont you say it is your fault that you cant get the people to do things.and why cant you accept that this was the way we did things last time.you scream at me.as if it is my fault.please la.i am merely a student ok.not your slave or your punching bag.and later on dont try to be friendly to me and talk to me.because i do not respect you and i do not wish to be nice to you.i am not fake.i do not be nice to people who arent nice to me.so what if you are apparently good.you are mean and you are an idoit who does not stick to your responsiblities.just because you think we are lousy and you dont want to throw your face you dont want to do whatever you are supposed to do.freak ass ok.whatever.you are such a loser.cant even face up to challenges.still say what i go tell your principal that i dont want alr la.ask the student to do.shit you la.think you what.queen ah.want to do then do dont want to do then dont do.let me tell you think is your face ok.you are a big fat loser and i dont like you.geddit.and too bad man.i dont have much time left here anyway,go find the next sc to pick on her and scream at her.you think you are pro because someone else sucks up to you.'you want umbrella?you want to eat?you want to drink?'crap ok.she want to suck up to you be your servant we dont want ok.why dont you get her to do this crap shit anyway.hah.too bad.you made me angry for a while but too bad for you.your attempt failed because my anger cant last for more than a few minutes.haha.loser.and you and that fatty come all the way there for what.to sit down and slack?hello man.you are being paid ok.hah.i have absolutely no respect for you at all.too bad.
valerie loves you

whee.balloon hat festival rocks!!
yay.xiaomeii was right.what seemed so bleak and horrible turned out to be a success.we all had fun din we?screaming and cheering.woa.cedar girl's symphonic band should win the loudest screams award!!=)
and my group wore standard charted colours- white blue and green!!=) yilan and jeralyn were mad."we love standard charted"whee!! "we trust standard charted" "we put all our money in standard charted"
haha.group 2's colours peach and purple and white look like cadbury.hee.=) so funn!!
bhf absolutely rocks!!so fun man.
and shu yan's hat was cute!!=)
just that i had a hard time trying to twist all the balloons coz i think i pump until too turgid and they keep bursting in my face.
my favourite part was when we all stomped and burst our balloons!!woa man.damn cool and damn nice.but the bad part abt it was that the sand kept flicking onto our feet and it was painful.haha.
i'm sunburnt.most likely of the concert part la.yani suffered heat stroke.poor thing.jia you kae.get well soon.
and i am in love with the hci's lord of the dance.rmbed playing it in pri school where picc had solo.me and kate went crazy singing at the top of our voices.
i must say this is the most memorable band event i have ever attended.=) yay!
a good end to my last limited days in band.hoho.
in the bus back we had so much fun!the clarinetists so many sec 3s so we started singing campfire songs.brings back the good old memories of oals.oh man.i miss you guys.and i love the teeny weeny stream cheer.reminds me of someone though.haha.
anw,bihuan,takkaire kae!!slp more eat you medicine la.='(
valerie loves you

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

i made another person cry today.am i really so badd.boo.sorry ok.hush little girl dont cry alr kae.takkaire!!='(
back to the old days when i would scream at people to wake them up.
valerie loves you

it gets harder and harder.harder than you ever imagine it to be.i try to force myself to stop worrying and thinking.but i cant.
i am so disappointed.in her.she is like ughh.only seen her like once.but my vision of who i thought she might look like and be was totally different.seems like everyone has given up hope.how.even she has given up hope.and now they dump everything to me.like i was the person at fault and now i have to pay the price.it wasnt anyone's fault.but she made it seem as if it were mine.i am disappointed.in myself.for being unable to face up to challenges and everything.ok.i feel like screaming.because people keep telling me to face up to the challenge,do your best and everything.i know i must.but i cant seem to.i just live in self pity.how selfish right.hah.i know it.but i dont seem to be making any effort to improve am i.hah.i think i just have loads of empty talk.and i am disappointed in her.for saying things that make me and others unhappy.some mean stuff.i mean.dont you think before you speak.i think you should be mature and old enough right.to be able to think before you speak and not be so tactless.i mean.comeon man.you are so old alr.cant you be a little nicer.hah.so mean.saying that no wonder someone doesnt care and doesnt want to come and evt.please la.i mean its like no one's fault ok.different people have different levels of ability.i mean if you are not happy you dont really have to come either.be nice ok.its very difficult for a student to face so many stuff la.so be nice.and stop making irritating comments.and make people feel as if you dont think before you speak.be nice.
hah.so moral of the story?i will just die this saturday.throw everyone's face away.hah.as if we still have any face to keep.wonderful man.wonderful.what a sight.whee.
arghh.i still feel like screaming.i cant lie to myself any longer.boo.screaming is a way to vent out your frustations.i have my limits.so does everyone else.but mine seems to be higher than many.
i dont want to worry about any thing.i want to be the carefree care-less and happy kid i used to be.hah.when i was five years old.with no cares in the world except playing and having fun.haiis.life now.is bad.with some wonderful people coming in to spoil your day.and make you unhappy.of course right.whee.so fun la.hah.
no one cares about anything anymore.no one cares about somestuff.and everyone cant wait to go.go go go far far far away.dont come back.life would be so much happier then.whoo hoo.i cant wait man.running far far away.dont come back.run run run.hah.
i want to go swimming.so i can forget evt.i want to escape from reality.and to stop trying to put on a facade.i want to escape into the wilderness.and run away from everything.i want to run away.and dont come back.but i'll miss you la.so its not possible.unless i take you away with me.which is even more not possible.but it's fun thinking of it.haha.thanks.for allowing me to harbour some kinda happy thoughts.even for a moment or two.i'll be contented alr.
easily contented coz there arent many things in life that make me really happy.smiling isnt a way to express happiness.i guess.i've learnt.really think i've become much more mature and older this year.my thinking and everything.yupp.oh well.but in the process,many things have been sacrificed.to become older.i have lost my happiness and freedom.i dunno why.but i'm grateful.coz some people walked into my life to add colour to it.to the bleak boring gray portrait of bleahx.haha.nvm.
i feel sad coz someone got scolded today.bleah.told you alr right.dont listen to me.boo hoo.i should have nagged at you more.bleah.maybe i should nag at you more so you will listen to me and not get scolded by some old hag.hoho.or maybe i should buy you them for your birthday.haha.=)takkaire kae.the old hag is mean.yuck.i dont like her.and many dont too.hee.
valerie loves you

haiis.today we had band and there was supposed to be bio prac.but bio was cancelled.poor people who came back for nothing.boo.and band.we marched or should i say walked around playing washington post.with people saying it sounded like a funeral song.whatever la.maybe we are playing it without expression.which is like so usual.hah.then helped to polish abit of the snares.quite fun la.but aft that din liao.
went out with nanny for lunch.she was enlightened today.realised that i know alot of rubbish things that i shouldnt know.no wonder i have been so affected by them.no wonder i've been thinking alot.haiis.but knowledge is power right.hah.and ignorance is bliss.how ironic.nvm.i contradict myself.hor?*winks*=P
yupp.had a bad dream last night.must have been too traumatised by everything.but it was horrible.so many people telling me this person died that person died.nowadays dream of people dying.luckily not some people la.hah.phews.but it still seemed too real to be true.very freaky.i was crying and crying.woke up still crying.wha liao.cry the whole afternoon not enough ah.at night slp still so traumatised.eeee.baddie.dont want anymore of these dreams.i just cant accept people dying.oh man.painful.shoots.
i really pity some people.not really pity.just more of heartpain.coz they seem to be going through alot.and i am the one crying for them.feeling painful for them.when they can be strong and still go on.i take my hat off to you.you guys just rock ok.i admire you people!!=)dont worry kae.coz if anything happens,i'll alw be here for you guys to lend a shoulder and a listening ear.hippos have big ears.haha.do they?maybe not=)but i have large floppy ears la.heeeheee.
okay.i've decided that even if i am sad i will still put on a brave front.because it is very bad to affect other people's moods.but i think i am someone who gets over things easily.esp getting angry with people.i dunno how come.oh well.i will try to smile everyday.and be nice to people.esp bihuan.haha.=P
yupp.so..ya.being happy is nice la.its a nice feeling that i havent had for a long while.oh well.i should stop worrying right.and be good.yes yes.
takkaire peeps.balloon hat festival.3 more days.dont throw face.jia you worr.=)

jiayoukae.=)ilu.

valerie loves you