Friday, December 31, 2004

its that last dae of the yr. its e last time tonight this yr i am on the com. it was my last nap just now. it was the last orientation camp. it was the last debrief, last meeting, last packing, last tution, last yoshi, last kfc, last walk home, last tv programme, last shower, last evt la! enjoy the last 40 mins of 2004.

jiayou for 2005! sec 4 liao, must be more dong shi already.
new yr resolution
1. stop bullying mei
2. stop whacking peeps (jerall and wan ning's) butt
3. stop being so oversensitive
4. be strong and stop being a cry baby
5. stop complacency and procratination
6. work hard for syf'05
7. put in 100 % in watteva i do'
8. stop thinking abt herr all the time
9. stop gossiping over the phone and spend more time on studies

oh well, new yr resolutions are always made but nv kept. maybe only no. 6 and 7 i will of course. no. 8 and 9 are literally impossible tasks to me la. haha. okayy.

to amira, 1O('05) hope you are feeling better! get well soon and take care of yourself!

the last day of my life i can enjoy. phews. sec 3s ('05) jia you! strive hard for your goals and dreams. work hard in evt you do. overcome your setbacks and emerge a stronger person. dont ever ever give up hope or on yourself. nth is impossible. and of course, tml will be a better day. dont worry so much la. make new friends and have fun mugging for tests and exams.

sec 4s! jiayou, nx yr Os liao. so fast!! midyr must take chi. jia you mans.

okayy, happy new yr!

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

whoos. today was the first day of sec 1 orientation. hmmx. nth to say, coz frm what it looks like, heehs, i think we can anticipate alot of peeps with attitude prob. wateva. gd luck to the sec 3s and sec 2s (2005)

cca exhibition- nth to say. was qt okkay. except for some probs. hmmx. our band u was so warm. then my coat is super small. very restricted movements. so strained.

damnit. my left thigh is so painful! i think muscule pull or wateva. that time do pt , so long nv do. den run extra round, must be thats why so painful! arghs. haha. okayy

i have no comments at all about my anger towards her. or them maybe. becoz they share the same character. almost. no comments. like wateva you know. we are the slaves. the employer complains she is the maid?!? nvm.

if you know abt it already. pls pretend you dont. let me have a few more days of happiness. pls pretend you dont know anything. pls, thats all i ask of you.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

heyyx. boxing day todayy. i wonder how it is celebrated. hmmx. 26th dec. how many more days to sch reopen?? abt 1 wk. sucks!! nx whole wk i dont even have a day to stay at home and relax and prepare my heart for sec 4 life! arghs. mon- back to sch for band and aft that, meeting. maybe going to macritchie to prepare for nature walk. tues- coming back to sch to help the ics. wed- fri orientation camp. haiz. missing band again. okayy, i mean like these activities always seem to take priority over cca. and like some peeps still go attend theirs. it like so damn unfair la. like people are slogging over here with sch events and you go attend your cca stuff. and leave your share of work to the others. haiz. one whole week gone liddat. the same as the rest of the hols. so sickening. not even 1 wk to rest at home and slack. nope, not even 1 wk. lucky yilan and yani in china and taiwan slacking. haha. so i'm planning to chiong the little bit of hmk left on 1st and 2nd jan. i'm such a slacker.

yays. get to see youuuu tml! haha. okayy. i dont know why la, but seeing you makes my day la. makes me happy and i can at least get over my depression over hols being overr. haix. okayy. see you guys tml! nanny dun be sad okayy> evt will be okayy, tml will be a better day! heex

Saturday, December 25, 2004

heyy! gd morning!! merry christmas!! time check:12.26 am. just got back from church. to all: may all your hopes and dreams come true in the coming year. all the best, take care!! have fun and enjoyy the remaining of your hols!

to yoouuu out there. thanks for reading this and i wish you all the best!

haha. why do i sound as if i'm preaching. hmmx.

to that cute person whom i cant name. haha. i miss youuu!!

thank you lord for giving your son to us. to save us frm sin and hate. thanks for this christmas. and the yrs ahead!

met so many peeps frm our sch at church todayy. din expect to see mrs ong en chee too. haha. okayy then. once again, merry x'mas!

Friday, December 24, 2004

went out todayy. so many shops not open. x'mas eve. hmmx. reached home at 4. slept on e bus again. my relatives came today. when i got home they were already here. aft we moved hse, so many pple came to visit. hmms.

i miss my old hse. though it was smaller and hotter. well, aftall i spent like half my childhood there. had many parties at home. invited frens over and evt. oh wells.

listened to my old cds which i had saved up to buy. and some my fren helped me burn. brought back memories. so precious and wonderful. hmms.

wanted to meet you today. haix. so many pple meet you all the time. but not meeeee. arghs. not fated la.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

today. hmmx. a day of reflection. registration in e morning. almost couldnt wake up. heex. again. too early la, have to reach sch at 7 mah. poor daddy. hmmx. started duty. was okayy i guess. er, many problems faced by mostly were overcome well.

went late for debrief. had to fall the band out coz there was no one else except bihuan. so we helped her. den went late for debrief. scared get scolded by mr suresh. nvm. was okayy. den we had a session where all our mistakes were pointed out. i think e masking tape - blu tack thingy was my fault. so sorry to the ics. this part wasnt your fault. so you all yuan wang le. haiz. i cried again. i wish i could stop being such a cry baby. but i cant help it. everytime pple get scolded i cry. smt even if it isnt me. why am i like dat> maybe the tear ducts loose already. hmmx. but nvm lors. take it as a learning experience. it will turn out for the better. eventually one day. so peeps, dun be discouraged kae? evt will be ok. learn frm your mistakes and you'll turn to be a better person. hmmx. was i too harsh today> but i was really feeling pissed la. make mistakes dun admit. wth. i mean like you darent even confess. do you even feel guilty anot? i mean like its not the first time la. i wish you will reflect lor. i mean, haix.

i wanna hear at the apex. it rocks. totally. i wanna hear it now!!! but went to search le. dont have lehx. i wanna burn that cd. rocks. but i dont think you guys will like it. certain reasons la. reminders.

i wonder how time passes so fast. i miss sec 3 life already. its gonna be damn stressful nx yr. haiz.

den aft registration. wnt to weisan's hse den wnt for tution. this chap - rate of change [differentiaion] is so confusing. i understand why ms chee says it will take more than 2 mths to teach it liao. was so blur today. dont really understand den v blur. so felt sleepy. den dint really concentrate. partly coz i was thinking of youu. heex. so anyway. me and wei san started crapping. we were like saying- wei san: my com hang le. need someone to help me reboot. me: my com break down, kana virus, nd someone to help me repair. so we started thinking of our repairmen. mine is like duh la. weisan- her auntie? nahx. in the end, brenda la. she was so obsessed with her cockroach. hehx.

walked home. so dark. eeks. saw a v cute cat> so poor thing like hungry down there meowing. wanted to pet it. reminded me so much of the kitchen guardian. so cute! but it was under a car. so cant la. i think its hungry or cold or lonely. poor thing..

a day of reflection. a day of thought. a day to remember. tomorrow will be a better day. *winks* heex. okayy then. i miss youu already though i saw you todayyyyy. haiz. sickening

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

heyys. today went back for band. heex. see i'm so guai. tml i'm on duty for registration [bleahx] den cant go for band so today went back to make up for it. heex. practiced a bit. hehx. hopefully my playing is improving! yayness. no lax. in e end, ended up helping the sec 2s with registration. felt so extra amongst them. the noitce boards are still the same old ones. very hard to stapler on. thumb tacks are useless. bleahx.

hope tml will be okayy. smooth running. hopefully there wont be any unreasonable parents. some are really ks, come in and ask me how many classes of trip sci there are. errs, your daughter is only in sec 1.

smt i feel so fake. like have to put on a show, be very polite and evt. yeahs, i mean its e job. english must be more precise. cant use all e lars and lors. hmms. presentation counts. i rmb in p6 when i came to register, my dad had a v gd impression. i rmb yimin being the usher. they used to wear those very erhm ccus. so old fashioned. gd thing they changed them. heex. rmb that registration was our very first event. in those days, we had to wear ccu for every event. so hot. i rmb all e invests we had to attend in that ccu. err, we were the most 'outstanding' ones. i clearly rmb my first one- to whitely. with kate. so damn funny. we were the only one in the pleated skirt with the very striking yellow shirt. then so funny, had to go upstage to get the souvinier. guess who did it. heex. so embarrasing! i can nv forget

our second one at st nicks was worse. coz there were many more schs attending. like rgs and ri. hmmx. we had to play some ice breaker games and all. haha. yuanli got saboed. so funny. st nicks' pr is nice! they can decorate it themselves. its so colorful!

haix. nx yr sec 4. last few invests we will be attending. sec 2s and sec 1s, must treasure your time. and muz go for them enthusiastically! they are fun..

as i was saying, registration is tml. jia you to the ics. can one la. will be over soon. it will be a gd experience.. heex

yay. saw wanru today as we were walking out of sch. she's so cute! like a big babyy. rocks.

you are cute! do you know that. i feel so xin ku. like i want to tell u in your face. but i cant. too bad. wait then. valerie, wait long long. arghxx. i hate myself for feeling this way. can i just face it? nopex. cann i shrug it off? err, nopex either. dumb luck. smt i wish u din appear in my life. but it cant be helped/ mayb one day i'll tell you. one dayy. or maybe you know already? hope not. hehx.

kae c u guys in sch tml. have fun. take care..

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

to mum: thx for all e love and care you've given me
to dad: thx for all your nagging and scolding. i know it's becoz you love me
to mei` [angie]: grow up la. dont be so childish. and stop saying i'm sua ku! dont play anymore pranks on me argh. heex. love ya.

to kate:thx for you constant smiles and cares. your constant topic of the day gossip is very interesting. heex.
to nan: thx for your ever so comical actions and movements. so cute! heex. thx also for listening to my lamenting about life and evt. you are a v gd listener
to san:thx for your comfort and warmth. i really appreciate it.also thx for always pei-ing me go tution
to yuanli: thx for your quarrels with me. i enjoy every moment of it coz i know you care. heex. the constant gossips on the phone when i'm bored or lonely
to crys: thx for evt, your constant source of advice
to jan: thx for e gossips and your advice always
to pam sia: thx for your lame jokes and always being so wols
to ah lee [pam]: heex. miss e 'peking' trip with you guys. poor thing always bullied by pam sia.
to seok kian: hope you are okayy
to jerall and seok kian : thx for listening to she's so cute. heh. i wont forget you two teasing me okayy. ni gen wo ji zu. heex
to yilan and yani: quick come back. i miss you guys
to weili and jasimah: thx for your help during ltc. e words of encouragement you have given me! kitchen dept rocks!! love u guys. we are smartt. heex
to claire shuyan bihuan shuhui crystal kate nan: we rock
to the CPB: anticipate more events more fun more stress more work more joy more sense of acomplishment
to the CSB/CMB: work hard for syf '05!
to the whole world: i love you
to youu: take care
to god: thx for being there. for comforting me. to clear my doubts. i nv fail to feel better when i prayy.

to you out there: thx for reading my crap. i lurvvee youu. heex

crazy mood' i'm boredd

hehx

will update nx time. if i have e mood.

byexx

oops. sorry got carried away. hmmx. sch's reopening? for gd or for bad? i dont know. this hols doesnt feel like hols. band prac, prefects' stuff - cleaning of pr,ccu fitting, restocking and all, tution, hmk, ltc, proposals and meetings with teachers. hardly had time to enjoy myself. though i had a few days when i had lots of fun with the usual pple.

but this hol is a time where i got to know some pple better. know the true side, the crazy side (erhm) *winks*. some secrets *giggles* started to notice some pple. and other things. new obsessions, drifting away from other things.

i am seriously going crazy. about you. and other things. too bad u dont notice me. maybe even ignore me. sometimes but i cant help but feeling a pang of hurt surge through my heart. pple tell me i'm going crazy. yeah, maybe. but i cant help it. maybe it'll be over soon. hopefully by end of jan. hmmx. if only you knew. but u dont. am i'm not going to tell you. maybe in time to come. but not now. it'll ruin evt.

maybe sch reopening wont be such a bad thing anyhow. get to see more of you. heex. *winks to kate* but idontknow. more reading and jogging sessions. okayy. nx yr napfa earlier. more tests and hmk. plus extra classes aft sch and a five day wk. not forgetting band prac and band com. tution and piano classes. sighs.

sometimes i wonder in amazement. why am i in such a mess. i'm so busy that i dont really have time and the mood to studyy. too tired smt. too lazy. idontknow. sec four life is going to be so 'fun'. haix.

if only you were here. to comfort me and soothe me. too bad. it aint gonna happen. you'll only get a big shock when you know. and it'll be the end of my life. i really hope you dont know anything. hopefully no one told you. if not. i'm dead meat.

tell me why> aint nth but a heartache.
tell me why>aint nth but a mistake.
tell me why> i nv wanna hear you sayy
i want it that wayy

now that i see that you've fallen apart,
frm the way that you used to be
yeahh
no matter the distance i want you to know
deep inside of me.

you are, my fire
e one desire
you are you are you are you are
i dont wanna hear you.

ever since i moved hse, i have a sudden obsession to singing. is it the influence of a certain someone?? heex. *giggles to kate and yuanli* heex. i miss liwen and abigail and apriee. yayness. nx yr is coming soon. get to see you guys soon. oh ya. not forgetting yilan!!! heyy. miss your crappy jokes and your smile! maybe you've grown taller and fatter! yay. i hope u have grown fatter. cant wait to see you again! like 2 whole mths nv see you. wonder if your playing has improved eversince you flutey tution. i wonder if your tutor is shuai. laughs. hope you are fine! you are soo independent. i fu le ni. quick quick come back. i wanna hugg you! heex.

btw, advanced merry x'mas to those peeps who are reading this.
take care always

been qt a while since i've updated. finally my com is repaired. haiz. procrastination. too bad u arent reading this. hmmx.

i think it has been abt 3 mths since i've updated. too lazy.Many things have changed. for e better or e worse? i cant tell. but idontcare.\recent obsession abt cute things, starry things and fashion./ band- com is coming soon! jerall and seok kian! must buck up already argh. prac makes perfect. yeah, can get qt boring, budden still must prac. kae? promise you'll work hard for com. must get gold.. sir rocks anyhow. i dont care what u guys say abt him like he has mood swings or wateva. i dont care. he is such a gentleman. u guys dont make him frustrated. i think he is feeling stressed abt how e other schs eg SA have been improving as compared to us. e SA piccoloist and dat v big expression guy- u guys have my admiration. your playing rocks man. lurve it. aspire to be liddat. haiz/ feeling more and more inferior as i think abt them. thinking abt e cd. if only we can play liddat, e intonation and rythym, whoa, play scales only argh, gold is ours la. dont even need to worry like us now. just prac a bit then go relax already. shiok.

thinking abt last yr.how we hoped.how we dreamed.how hard we practiced.how we played.how we anticipated.how we waited.how we fared.how we heard.how we cried.how we sobbed.how we lost.how bad we felt.idontwantthesamefeelingagain! I hate that feeling of disappointment and that feeling of loss.the feeling of all our efforts gone. gone liddat. i hate that. that's why i dont want the same feeling again! but too bad. u are not committed. u are all too concerned abt yourselves. the song is getting boring? yeah rite. we still have a veryyyyy long way to go. verryy. persevere and worrk towards the goal in mind. never falter and doubt. have faith. its the attitude that counts.

unfortunately, i am sad to inform you that it wont happen. it wont.