Gotcha Day-Joel's 1 Year Anniversary

We survived our first year with Joel.  I say survive because if you have ever adopted or even birthed a child those first couple months you live in survival mode.  Adapting to a new family member, personality, eating habits, sleeping habits, health issues, and on and one.  Its hard and I won't lie this year has been exhausting.  Worth it? One hundred percent YES!!!!

Our year started out with many doctor and dentist appointments.  Joel then had an MRI where they found that they still really couldn't tell what was going on with his heart or how it was repaired so they needed to do a heart cath.  In this they finally got their answers.  A vessel had grown to the size of a nickel usually the size of a thread.  It was stealing all his oxygen and not getting it to his lungs so they blocked it off and several other vessels that had grown to try and oxygenate his lungs.  His oxygen stats went up to 85% and he was able to come home without oxygen.  This was awesome.

A couple days later I noticed a large bump next to his groin where they had went in to do the cath procedure.  I called the hospital and they said they thought he had an aneurism and to get to the hospital quickly but safely.  I was scared to death.  After a very scary night dealing with doctors from the U of U, Joel's heart doctors came and comforted us in seconds.  Joel did not need surgery they were able to put him out and fix the pseudo aneurism with an ultra sound.  WHEW what a relief.

Joel had dental surgery next because they feared his rotten teeth may leak infection into his blood and affect his heart.  Luckily this went very smoothly.  Joel did catch a break when we found out his hernia healed itself.  He was not able to have a circumcision due to not needing his hernia repaired because I didn't think for his health it was worth putting him through this.

So health wise Joel was doing great by April and was done with operations until the Fontan surgery they spoke of doing when he was 3 or 4.

Personality

This has been the hard part.  I don't know if its adopting an older child, Joel was 28 months when we brought him home.  Or if it was because he was spoiled rotten in China by his caregivers at LWB. But Joel is hard.  The hardest child I have had so far.  At least he started to sleep through the night so this was great and he is a good napper and this is wonderful.  But when Joel does not get his way he throws huge fits.  Loud, ugly cries!!  Did I mention they are LOUD????  Oh so loud and ALL DAY LONG.  So how do you handle this?  Well we tried about everything and found that him going to his room to have a fit was working.  Although when he got there his cries were LOUDER than ever he eventually started to get sick of spending so much time in his room and this behavior lessened.  Fast forward one year and we survived.  Joel still throws a fit daily but they are smaller and much farther between.  They are very short lived now and he comes out of his room pleasant.  On occasion he throws a huge exhausting fit but I will take these rather than having them 82 times a day.

Joel has a loving side.  Joel would snuggle all day long if you could just sit there and do this. He loves to be held and snuggled.  He comes up to me all day and says Mama I Hold You.  Its the sweetest thing ever.  I try very hard to make time each day to hold him and give him the one on one attention he needs.

Smarts

Oh Joel is smart.  He picked up English in days and I feel he understands it 100% after a year.  I started Joel in Preschool in October and he loves it.  Its good for all of us to get a break.  Joel now gets one on one time when Louvee is at school on Tue and Thur and Louvee gets one on one attention on Mon and Wed when Joel is at school.  Its working out great.

Family and Friends

This has been a rough transition.  We want and need the help with Joel but we need our family to stick to our rules and guidelines with Joel.  Otherwise if they spoil him rotten he is impossible for us to deal with for up to 4 days.  He is so cute and sweet people have no idea what they are doing when they give him anything and everything he wants.  So once Joel has spent some time with Grandma he will cry when in trouble and say I want grandma Vickie for example.  My parents have seen the hard side of Joel so they understand and that helps.  We are so happy that Joel is so loved and we want this but we need people to stick with structure and not allowing him to take things from anyone and everyone and get whatever he wants so we can have a happy home.  Joel's preschool is very structured and I think this is why the huge change in Joel the last couple months.  I think he is realizing that more places run like our home and we must share, take turns, place nicely, have snack time, etc.

Joel had his 6 month heart check up in October.  It was a VERY LONG DAY.  The hospital forgot we were there and we waited for 6 hours.  During this time I started to think about a lot of things but mostly how I couldn't live in a hospital.  So when we finally saw the doctor he started talking about the Fontan Joel would need next year.  I asked him what we would happen if Joel didn't get this procedure.  I explained there are a lot of side effects and risks and I hate to put Joel in jeopardy when he is doing so well right now.  The doctor looked at Joel's stats and felt that he was doing great getting oxygen to his entire body.  He to agreed the Fontan was not necessary if Joels stats kept up as they were.  What a relief!!!  What a BLESSING!!  If things keep going great as they are Joel's heart will last him until he is 20 and who knows what will change in the medical field during that time.  As far as Joel having no spleen we would never know.  He has been very healthy.  Again what a BLESSING.  As far as Joel's organs being on the opposite side of his body, well again, we would never know it is not causing him problems at this time.  We met our medical deductible on January 3rd this year so we got a lot of things done.  Louvee had several surgeries, including her hard palate repair.  Kian had his gum line surgery and I had an ablation.  What A Year!!

Joel is truly a miracle in our lives.  It has been a hard transition but the best things are.  I love him so deeply.  I can't imagine life without him.  I am so thankful for his health and that we will have him longer than we first thought when we brought him home.  I am thankful for our amazing doctors and friends and family.  I am thankful for LWB for taking such great care of him until we brought him home.  I am thankful for McKade who knew he was his brother.  McKade has been a huge help.  When I need a break I say Mc get your baby and he does, he NEVER complains he just helps me.  Mc loves this boy so much they are great friends.  Louvee and Joel are amazing, darling friends, TWINS!!  Kian took the longest to warm up to Joel but they are now buddies and its so fun to watch all their relationships with their new brother.

We survived the hard part and are now LIVING and LOVING!!