The end of 2015

Christmas is over, boxing day is over and soon it's new year's Eve. Boy oh boy have time passed by so fast. (Okay, maybe it didn't pass very fast.)
Looking for a new job for a while now. Well, after my holidays that is. And that 3 weeks while I'm not in SG, it's a journey I will never forget.

Went to 4 different countries, or 3 since one is UK - Edinburgh, Scotland, UK ; Helsinki, Finland; Lapland,Finland; St. Petersburg, Russia; Moscow,Russia; London, England, UK.
Pretty fun, all in all. Loved the new people we met, all the airbnbs n hostels that we stayed, the dangerous adventures that we had, and so on. All the shopping that I can do, but yet I still feel empty. This trip was more like a soul searching for myself. And it all started because of work. Asking myself who am I, what I want in life, how and why and so on. I needed to know myself before I can know anyone else. Asked the girls, and they will tell u how down I was on the trip. I just didn't know myself. So being on this trip, I start questioning all my actions, my thoughts, my feelings and so on, so I can understand myself better.
Also, if possible, to get rid of the final rock/stone of that last r/s. I guessed that the main reason why I didn't get into another one. Because I wasn't ready. As much as every single day past by, I didn't care, I didn't feel, I just live it by the day. That wasn't me. But at the same time, that felt good.

Getting rid of emotional baggage,it isn't easy. But, it's a process that will make u stronger. Am I stronger? Nope. Or I would think I'm not. But I made up my mind. I will live my life being single. Because, there seemly isn't any because. I just have to be happy with myself. And that's most impt. Be who I am. Regardless of anything, I am happy with every single decision I have/will make in my life, because happiness starts within me. If I can't give myself the basic happiness, who am I to spread happiness?

So for this year, I'm fine being me. Because I'm growing every single day. And because I want to set my career path first. And I am doing so right now. I thank the heaven for giving me so much learning opportunities that I can learn from and maybe, just maybe, it might be useful for my career in the future.

So I'm not complainting and hope I can grow from there.

Here's wishing everyone around the world, a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy 2016 new year to come!😊😘

Xoxo,
J❤

2015 so far

So Half a year has gone by and I have yet to blog anything at all.
So Here it shall be.
Changed work Since last year late Nov. Was it the job I want? Yup. Is the actual job what I want? Maybe? Somewhat? Maybe all because the company structure and style just ain't right for me. Wanting to leave the company for very long, But kept forcing myself to Wait and endure for a year or so.
I don't if I can last that long, I really dunno.
Think by now, many would have known Where I work. And a place That I will never tell Unless u see Me at work or whatsoever.
Colleagues are fun. Well, excluded one of them. Shall not named for hey, there's so many kind of ppl in the world and as long as they don't come and make me, I'll just ignore u.
Lots of eye candies. And so far, only 1 is known by all by my colleagues. Oh Well, let's keep it low profile. They can joke however much they want about it , at least we have fun.
All in all, I just wish this year would be better before it ends.

Happy 2015

Happy 2015. What a year 2014 had been. Was it good? Or was it bad? That I Can't comment. All I can say is that it wasn't good But there are moments that I treasured.
It's been a year that I'm back n somehow I still always wish I wasn't back here. I miss London, I miss living alone, I miss having the freedom, most of all, I miss that I would not have gone thru the whole misery bullshit that I went thru the whole of last year.
Did I became a better person? Well, it depends on how u view on it. Personally, I would say I grew a lot. N I have more to grow on. Was I Happy? Somewhat. Sorry dudes, I wasn't ready. (Not that I will ever be with u few.) Nope, I'm not pretty, not smart, not helpful, not kind, nothing wonderful about me at all. I'm just another fat, below average girl. But I'm just very thankful I am still alive despite so much thoughts of suicide, hurting myself and so on. But then who knows, Maybe it might happen the next day, or a week later or a month later or whenever.
Yup, I have became negative. Very very negative. Was it Cause of this job? Somewhat. Was it Cause of something? Somewhat. All accumulated n resulted in me! Hooray!!!!
I don't wish for much this year. Just everything to go smoothly n just be Happy. In this reality now that I live in, happiness have gone away. How to get it back? I Can't. Or Maybe some other time.

All I am glad is that I have a job (not that I'm Happy with it), food on the table, bags on discounts, a roof over my head, my family and friends. Maybe That's all I can be asking for. Just glad that I can count my blessing for everyday that I'm alive, is another day to be thankful for.