Cause i'm only human~

Much changes happened in my life, be it at work, or on me personally, I embraced it. Maybe, just Maybe the tarot cards predictions wasn't that far off wrong after all.
But I guess I'm still waiting for that one (or Maybe two) changes. N that is getting a job that I'm interested in. Or Maybe I should just be a salesgirl for the rest of my career. High pay, shitty hours, n lots n lots of human interactions that makes me loss faith in male species as a whole. Just a generalization thou I know there's a few special cases But I'm done searching. Just let it be. If it's meant to be, it will be. That's the funny thing about fate, n I suppose love. I don't deny I feel lonely at times because everywhere u turn, u see couples. Esp at airport. But what can I do? Just suck it up lor. I mean I'm human afterall. Yes, I still shitty miss him despite all That's done and over, But I'm just like any other Stupid girl. every human being needs love,because we are human. That's how we are created.
Work wise, mont blanc now is in a mess. I miss Andena (store internal joke), I miss Alex, I miss Glenna, I miss pork knuckles. Mont blanc really not the same anymore. I hope Andean will win his case,  I wish they didn't have to shuffle Kenneth to gm. I kinda of miss the time Where it's just the 3 of us suffering together. I don't mind the new team, I mean Roger is my ex colleague turn into now my sup, jeslyn always very blur n we have so much laughter together, firdaus is just been a bro as he always was by treating me like a guy and telling me which girl chio or which body part not right. -.- Joshua makes me afraid to interact with him lest he decided to punch me in the face and I'll be gone just like that. Makes me keep rushing myself to get out of here, not Cause of Joshua But Cause of the shitty mgmt.
I'm not going to clean up this Shit of a mess because Why should I? One thing to learn about this reality - always put ur own interest first. N Yes, That's y I sucks at work. Why? Because I'm always helping people instead of taking care of my own interest. My own personal target haven't hit, yet I just pass the sales on to my colleagues. Bravo Eh? All Cause they all have a responsibility - be it for family, be it for credit debts, be it for weddings, be it for housing and so on. Me? Only thing I'm taking care of is myself. Yes, I get the highest commission, But Where does it go to? Treating family for meals, buying them gifts, treating friends meals. That's how it goes. Any responsibility? Any burden? Nope.
I don't deny that I spent a lot. But it never seems to be on myself. So Why am I so foolish? Idk.
Haix. Sometimes I wonder Why I change so much. But I guess the most important thing is that I'm happy, comfortable with who I am. I am just glad people think of me as my age and who I once was, and will always be - the bubbly, crazy woman who always have fun and don't give a Fuck damn on how people think of me, guai lan piece of shitty human girl. 💁👏
Till next time for more update~ 😘
Xoxo,
J❤

yet another milestone closure.

didn't realised i didn't blog for the mth of aug, so here it is, a summary. not going to talk about work because that will be a post by itself.
finally graduated recently (or rather not so recently since now then i blog about it. -.- blame it on my laziness) since i'm backdating this entry after that recent one.
anyway, 15 aug was a busy day. woke up at my usual time (aka late mornings) prepared with make-ups and whatsoever nonsenses. headed to sch slightly later then the arranged time. :x but still within the time frame. hey, it's been ages since i traveled to sch and i somewhat forgot the traveling time. hehehe. blah blah blah. don't have to write up the details of every steps. but boy was i hungry. and best thing? i can't wear the robe and run to canteen to buy food, so bought from buzz, which had nth! 1 packet of soya bean milk was all i had for lunch. (like everyday) so i was one of the 2 that brought selfie stick along, and the cameraman very clever, everytime we take with selfie stick, he stand one corner and take us using it. -.-||| every single time even when we having our meal time, i took out selfie stick, he took a photo of us. -.-||| take already nvm, take one the photos came out not nice! still ask us to buy. -.-|||| u think i so rich ar! (okay la, i earned quite a bit of commission la. but also not to spend on such things ma. need to save for rainy days. since i used up mine. :( )
anyway, after a very small ceremony at a lecture theatre, food time! and photo taking of course.
next stop, hilton hotel!!! ya, just grad in the day time, at night at alumni event already. so we met the ceo of courts asia (since he also from UOS one.) food was so so much better. well since i didn't eat until then. hehehe. champagnes! cheers mateys for graduating! collected lots of contacts, but never send any. hehehe. why? cause it's not the one i'm looking for or rather it's not really in the retail sector.
anyway, enough of blahhness, headed to chill at starbucks nearby before heading to one altitude with the bayne street girls and rx's friends. didn't party late since next day i got to work. and also because we went there just to see the night view of sg from above for free. yes, call us cheapos, i don't care. bleh.
okay, end of boring post. till next time.(fyi, i'm posting from store lappy. hehe.)

Do i know myself actually?

Okay, am suppose to post my aug post, But guess I didn't afterall. Shall post it in the next post.
For this post, I guess I just wanna say I really don't know what am I really feeling. I think I know, But I don't want to admit it. And because I always been deceiving myself that I'm over it if I can start having feelings for other guys. But I guess I really don't know myself that Well after all. I mean who am I to you now But just a past. Just another person who you wouldn't care anyway. Just another stranger. 
I guess all I wanted to say is I know I still miss you despite not talking about you, thinking about you, and whatever works related to you. I know I stop myself from linking anything to you despite seeing it, But I guess I just gonna try harder.

I miss you still, Mr N.