I tot giving care and concern is the best way of showin I love you , whatever I do for you seems not appreciated . I ask you to see a doctor because I worry abt you . I try to break the ice by talkin to you is also my fault , I don't know what more should I do . I walk away because I know and feel that you no need me anymore . It's too obvious . I am hurt

All YOU want me to do

I am tired I have so much pain in me that is so hard to describe !my bf that isn't supportive towards whatever I do I love him dearly but he wouldn't see it . 너무 아파요
I wanted to be just who I am .I feel too but people wants me to be who they want me to be my family , my boy . I am human I feel too but if that is what you all happy I will do it

Let you scold I don't say a word
Treat me invisible
Don't need to feel sensitive towards me like I am a block shouldn't react
I cannot cry in front of anyone
I cannot say all nasty characters
Ok I shall change because you want me too

Tmr the date of 15/8/2010 will be my 2nd anniversary with my boyfriend !!!

IT'S GONNA BE A BORING POST FOR PPL WHO READS MY BLOG .. BUT I'M SURE IT'S ONE GOOD WITH FOR ME AND MYSELF ....

thinking of how we use to know one another ...

i'm jus a tall skinny freak in ite studying beauty therapy.... at that point of time i was datin another guy ... ask me abt it ... his jus a normal lookin guy or below average ... character was even lower then average ok i know bad i'm being bad but pls forgive me ... but i jus didnt' wan a ah beng to be my boyfriend ..so eventually i got tired of hanging out with him and his ah beng friends that says i dress too fashionable ... don't suit the ent and stuff ...the -point is why did i dress up for ??? not to wait for you smelly bengs to smoke and squad around to smoke ...

when i went over to laos for mission work there's when i tot maybe i should jus give it up first few night i had his photo up beside me but a feel night later i give it up....

i told myself really it jus not me wat i should....

but then when i came back .. he try to please me and everything ... i think i was jus soft hearted ....

when i got back home i when up online ... i happen to have a guy that requested to be my friend on FRIENDSTER ...seriously speakin i tot his cute !!! really ... i mean it's normal right... you'll definitely accept for sure ...

and so then on ...

every time when i feel the lower... there then was a guy who keep chattin with me online (which is my baby )... at first i kind of jus pass him out .. but slowly ... he became my chattin online mate... everytime when i'm online and if his not around there's when i feel a little uneasy ...and so happen his classmate was my senior and ....my buddy in ite was his well known schoolmate .... so that's when we get a little closer....

Days past by ....my friend - teammate from laos ,suggested to have a celebration for me on my birthday and also a chance to get all laos mate to gather again ....so ya i agreed... i then inviting all my friends, the guy that i was datin ... and i was kind of excited....

on the day before my birthday which is on 26th july 2008, that afternoon ... i when in online ... my online mate (baby ) came talkin to me and so i invited him to come for the celebration at first he said see how so then i change the subject.... we're jus chatting when i start asking him is he's got any girlfriend .... and he told say no ... and of course i felt a little happy ... i know i'm a bitch .Dating, but tryin to flirt with other guys .... and he got me a little curious so i carry on askin him if his got anyone that he is currently interested in .... his reply was "YES but i cannot say " i then ask why ... but his reply was obvious that his tryin to push it away ... and then i started guessin... i guessed almost everyone's name but not knowin that it can be me ... and worst thing was he even hint on me ....... at that point of time he knew i was seein my guy .... so was afraid to tell BUT ....after much irritation from stupid me ... he then told me it was me he confession to me kind of make me feel happy excited but confused ... scare .. worried .... after his confession he went DC..... i tot he was embarrassed so i then also when offline ...

he called gracia which is my senior , his classmate for my number ...he then call me .. i forgotten wat he said ....but i only rmb he came on my birthday .....

and of course my date felt a little challenge and kept doin stuff to make the poor boy jealous .... i know how he feel .... something then piss me off with me and the guy i was datin.... i shall jus skip that part ...

when everything ended ...

liew tah whye and i start datin .... when my first job interview he and his friend together with mai ling accompany me for job interview and he bought me cookies to encourage me .... and of course i got my job .....first day of work he came and surprise me in bugis bhg under r.b.r at abt 9 plus.....i was so happy i ask him why he was here he say his here to send someone home (ohhhhhhhhh.....sweet boy ) ... we stood side by side even though we've got nothing to talk abt we felt the love inside :) he's always smiling ... ask him wat his smiling abt .. he'll always say: "i'm happy " happy abt wat i'm not sure ... he jus keep smiling ...

8 august 2008

he decide to try it out ... he ask me to be his girlfriend i was sweating ... i knew i felt for him ... but jus not ready .... i told him and he then decide to give me some time and respected me ...i felt really thankful at that point of time ... thank you baby

days goes by i get to know him better .... we share alot of laughter.... j0y and fun .... i jus enjoy his accompany ....

the night 14th august 2008 he send me home ... it was hungry ghost festive once after my meal i when to bath i was thinking ... mann i'm in love him but how do i know if he really feel something for me and after all if i'm gonna go on steady with this guy will he really love me ???i tot oh gosh why am i so scare doesn't all that prove to me that he really love me ??? so then i send him a sms ....

me : hey can i ask you a question .

him: can wat izzit

Me :what's the relationship between us .. why do you treat me so good

him:because i care abt you .. because i love you .

Me : (me hinting him i'm ready for him to ask me to be his gf )

i think i'm ready .

Him : ok when you're ready then i ask ...

ME: feelin pissed off ... read again i said i'm ready !!!

Him : ya once you're ready i'll ask ...

(he's damn blur and then i guess he really read thru to understand wat i meant..the he send me his second reply )

Him : oh oh oh ... okok tan si ni will you be my girl and i promise i'll tc of you this life time ....

ME: yea :)i love you ... thta night i slept thru with a sweet smile on my face ..... i nvr have slept with a smile before .... only with tears ... so that was a special one i guess...

and then i story when on and on .... we then found out tat his mum is my mummy's friend ... she will always bring clothes to my house and get my mummy to do alteration ....

hahaha wat a small world right ??? hehehe i didn't knew that auntie had such a big son ...

anyway it's 2nd year anniversary tmr ... baby ... jus wan to tell you ... honey ... i love you more then anything .... i rmd how we first felt one another .. i dun wan to lose this feelin till the day we die .... i know ppl who read this will be laughin ... gosh this gal is crazy ... at her age of 19 talkin abt all this ???

anything abt you baby ... for you everything is true...i love you and let's walk towards future ... i love you :) thanks for everything .... muack muack muack !!!!

two days of celebration for my BIRTHDAY !!!!!! thks to all the sweetest birthday wishes ... you know who you are !!! but i'm suprised by all the unexpected ppl that wishes me too !!! thk you all !!!! but the sweetest of all was my BOYFRIEND !!!!! THK YOU HONEY !!!! he make my birthday celebration like nvr ending !!!!!! we hang out on my birthday he bake me a WONDERFUL ALL TIME FAVORITE CHEESE CAKE !!!! THK YOU SO MUCT SWEETY !!!! I LOVE YOU !!!!!!
and then book ticket to universal studio on the 28 which is the next day !!!!! thks baby i sure did have lots lots lots of fun !!!!!

and my sweetest friends from sephora , caricia, bao ru , mel mel ,jonna

thanks for all the sweet gifts ... appreciated !!!love you gals !!!

MUACK MUACK MUACK !!!!!

This inspiration of make up is from lady gaga's music video"Telephone" .... i love the make up and style up they have ... but for today's make up tips will rather be on beyonce "cat eye" and yellow shadow !!!! and I'll do up a sexy yet cute a everyday wear look rather then dramatic !!!

i'll not be touching on how to put on foundation and if you're still un-sure abt the steps you might want to look up to my previous post for the looks and see how i go step by steps on putting on it:)

FACE: STEP 1 Make-up base (Biotherm -colour blue )

pre for the foundation !!!

STEP 2 BB cream (lioele)

good coverage moisture your skin

STEP 3 Amazing cosmetic ( fair )

good concealer for under eyes and imperfection!!!

STEP4 bare mineral (Fairly light Matt)
powder building of coverage can be achieve foundation i use to set my

foundation preventing from feeling creamy on the face.

STEP 5 Blusher smashbox ,face shop

look like ghost without make up ??? ya i knoww keep your comment to yourself !!!

after foundation you might still feel a little of you dark circle still to be seen, why not try some concealer???

put it right below the ring of your dark circles ...... jus a light amount of amazing concealar will do the job.....then gentally blend it upwards either using a brush if not your finger !!

(if you squeeze out too much, TRY blend alittle at the corner of your nose and even the brighen of the nose to use as a hightlighting effect )


done??? finish off using bare mineral foundation it's a healthy and light power to dust it off with !!!i usually use it without my bb cream when i'm lazy because by itself it's already a foundation !!!!

pour out a light amount onto the lid

swirl using kabuki brushes !!!only kabuki brushes pick up the powder the faster and apply the better way...

blusher from smashbox !! pink tone and then i touch up with a face shop shimmer blusher

Colour me !!!

eyelid primer -Too faced

eyeliner- Loreal gel liner

shadow palette - Urban decay & PoP Beauty

shadow transformer- Sephora

mascara- Too face

Double lid sticker

faux lashes-Daiso

put ont he primer to allow your shadow eyeliner to last longer !!!

using gel liner to create the cute cat eye.

-draw it on the lash line a thin line to start with ends onlt at the corner do no pull it out till you balance the other side of the eye

- look straight into the mirror and then draw the tail out ...

next....

the the liquid transformer and pop beauty palette calles lid neon...you might be wondering wat's transform abt ???? It is jus a clear liquid to pick up eyes shadow and allow you to draw it like a eyeliner...

i got this palette as they've got really bright colours that hardly other brands have ....

using transformer.....i tap it on to my yellow shadow for pop palette then on the top of my black liner i drew the yellow colour....

it should look likt that !!

using a fluffy brush tap onto urban decay palette brown colour .....we're gonna create a little of deep socket ...

open you eyes look staright ,press the colour lightly on top of your double eyelid

tap on the skin tone eye shadow

lightly dust over on the brown bone.

this is how it should look like !!!

curl your lashes ... put on mascara... here i'm using the too faced lighted mascara ... it's my favorite .....



jus take one side of the faux lash ... cut it into half ... the reason for it is because i want to create the long cat eye effect not lookin to dramatic .....

half of it ..... the longer side should be at the outer corner of the eyes....

there !!! after sticking the lash on it should look like that !!!

it's time for your hair !!!! i think nowadays ppl like to tie japanese bun but dun know how too..... so today i'm gonna show it to you !!!!

tie up a high pony tail..... open the middle of the tail.....

it should like this ...

twist the tail slightly and then use bobbie pins ... (bobbie pin AKA orh pin )
to pin the tail of it ....

collect each tail to make it fuller bun ......pin all sides to secure it ...

use U pin to arrange a nicer bun .....

i got a

Back view

arrange the fringe !!!

DONE !!!! TIME TO CHANGE UP !!!!

it's good for jus daily wear !!! school ,office, dates and many more !!!

it's cool

it's sexy ...

is sweet and gentle

it's cute !!!

in this world i walk alone .....
I'll cry alone...
I'll run alone ....
no more of shouting out of you ....
jus on my own world....

baby !!!!!!!!!! thks for tolerating my bad and of course accepting it !!!
i love you regardless you're fat skinny handsoem or ugly you'll be the one i love :)

till the day i close my eyes you shall be my soul......

even though you always make me frusrated... everything when i think abt it .... i should jus be forgiving then hating and accept you like how you accepted me !! i love yu stupid ass!!!! you're loved by me !!!!!muack !!!!

HAPPY 1 YR 10 MTH ANNIVERSARY