i start blog engine !=) enjoy

no no, its not emo de blog post d..=) due to someone, scolded me, dun so emo la..... hmm... i guess i shudnt put those emo post here, i dun wan other people to feel my pain la...=)

anyway, year 3 sem 1... woah... time flies when you...=)

Final year project, exams, mid terms, assignments all are in a bundle coming in the future...

brace myself..;)

recently, i attended Daniel and Christy's wedding , they are the youngest to get married among my friends... but i know they can last...=) u got my wish.... and from my perspective, when a marriage is going on, u have ur "brothers and sisters" with you , to laugh with, to play with... a wedding can bring everyone more close to each other. this is my point of view, cos now me and my friends are closer to each other..=) i am happy to see that....

Daniel have the weirdest lazy eye and he wont smile..... haha... but he will smile when we talk stupid things.....=) owh... owh...

Moving on! Humans are always unsatisfied with what they have, just like me.. i'm unsatisfied..

= = why? i recently wasted around 1k to buy stuff for my pc.... walao eh..... and, now... i regretted to buy iphone 3gs when there is 4! wth! watching every other asshole holding iphone 4 just makes me even more unsatisfied. BUT! i still gotta stop this fetish la~!=) hopefully.. hehe...

oh ya, i dyed back my hair! to black red.... =) cleaner, smarter and more to becoming a normal student.. haha......

today, is father's day... and i am not at kl... haiz... to be honest, we never ever celebrated father's day... cos my dad.... he never wanted to celebrate this stupid day cos it has no meaning.... my dad, he wont waste money to buy present for him or whatsoever, he would just come home from work and eat, then accompany my mom then sleep.. he said " father's day also need to work like cow then why call father's day?" got point de.... oh well, all he wanted is for us to be a family and no arguing onli....... i guess we are ok la...=)

so, no more stupid emo post..;) till next time....=)

LOUEE OUTSIDE MUDAFUKER!

hey! you! ur gonna be mine forever!

well, i am happy because i found her.

everyone sure say "cheh, u always say like this de la, but at last also gf break with u"..

hmm, i am pretty sure she wont...=)

how i met her?

well, its not the best way to get to know a girl..... i was quite i mean seriously sad that time, and so i thought of moving on rather than staying sad for the previous girl....

i gotta thank my fren for introducing me to her... if not.... i wouldnt know what is 幸福。。

认识她时，虽然她很串，很冷淡。。。但是我觉得这种女子超好。。。因为她不会对男子乱来，发桥。。让了我更欣赏她。。。

那时，她虽然没有做什么，可是她陪我谈话，已经差不多救了我。。因为那时我失恋。。

过不久，认识她了后，我提出说要见面。。。哇。。。。。。。。。。

很难约她。。。。。。》《 几乎很想不要找她。。。哈哈。。因为，真的一直拒绝。。

可是到最后，经过不少迁就。。成功了。。=） 而且，她有时一直不复我，因为她觉得我很花心。。。可是，经过不少努力后，她定下来。。。

而且，我觉得很很很光荣。。因为，我是第一个男子和她单独出街。。 慢慢，感情培养了。。

第一次去载她，超搞笑。。。我不会路，找来找去，都找不到。。。

幸好打给她问她。。。不然到晚上都不懂找到没有。。= =

看到她第一面。。。她很亮。。头发颜色很光，脸很白。。。身材不错。。巧小。。。 她对了我笑。。然后出了一句 “么哦？”。。。哈哈哈哈。。。

真的很可爱。。。我跟你讲，她的香味，到现在我忘不了。。。真的很香。。。

第一次出街，带了她去唱k..因为她说她喜欢唱。。。

唱的时候，我有点差。。。哈哈。。。只会唱几首。。。真的很不好意思。。=0

她喝水很厉害。。。喝很多。。。 我给了她我的水。。。哈哈。。。 怕她渴死。。。

过不久，唱到一半，她说她要赶去朋友生日了。。。所以是有点扫兴啦。。可是，我也没办法只好答应。。。带了她去她朋友家，我又自己一个人要很醒目找路回。。。哈哈。。。

我和她感情渐渐好很多。。。

14/2/2011

这张照，是我和她第一次见面，我问她能不能拍张照。。哈哈。。。她哦给。。=）

她，真的很美。。 她的一切。。最最最够力就是，那天是情人节。。。哈哈哈哈！！！！！

我又变回正常了。。没有emo，没有不开心了。。。。 真的，要谢谢这傻婆。。。救了我。。=）

after that， 我们就谈谈谈,sms sms sms， 很自然的培养感情。。 有时她还是会怕。。。因为她第一次帕托。。。我更要让她对我有信心。。=）

直到26/3/2011,

这张就是她陪我去sungai wang买东西。。。她的三八样。。。我很很很很喜欢。。。=）

每次上电梯，我会特地站高一格，为了要让她抱我那几秒。。但是，一到平时，我就会说“要面对事实了”。。哈哈哈哈。。。。

我们出去第二次。。。=） 我，拖了她的手。。。那时，拖到很紧。。可是，她不太习惯。。。但是，我就笑了和她说“做么你放手。。。”

她的人，开心，没有表现出来。。就静静暗爽。。。我的人，就特别喜欢表现出来。。哈哈。。。我就是爱她那么得意。。。=）

28/3/2011

她那天穿白色，我刚好也穿白色。。。我觉得很奇怪是因为，我们根本没有说好穿什么的。。。而且两次一样。。。=） 哇。。。。

可能有些觉得，cheh，没什么了不起的。。。可是，我的人有她我什么都开心。。。

找对人，真的感觉不一样。。不像之前酱。。。。我现在，我根本不担心她会理别的男子，也不担心她做么。。因为，她是个真的很照顾自己的女子。。这点，让了我对她死心踏地。。

那时拍这张照片，我们总共走了几个地方。。。哈哈。。。 去了time square, sungai wang, lot 10, pavilion, sunway pyramid... 哈哈。。。。去pavilion那里，陪baby 去拿cheque..做个好男朋友，就是要认真帮她解决问题的啊。。。对不对？=） 玩的时候就陪她颠。。这个真的很经典。。。本来要看sucker punch...可是某某人说看rango。。。哈哈。。。我们看那个rango!!!!哇老。。。。又无聊，又口渴。。。哈哈。。。但是，还是看下去。。因为，我有她在陪着我。。=）而且，那时，偷偷吻了她。。。她很害羞。。可是，同时她笑。。。=）哇。。。没有东西可以代替那个感觉。。=）

我带了baby去full house...=) yes!!!!! 我第一次带女朋友去啊！！！！ 而且，两个人穿到那么白。。。哈哈。。

最最最经典的事就是，我们晚上去。。。全部东西贵到。。。= = 哈哈。。然后我们叫薯条，sotong，然后，我吃吃下，弄跌了那个wedges..我们两个一直笑。。。感觉很山吧。。。。啊哈哈 和她喝同样的水两个都叫watermelon...的确真的是幸福。。。不是甜言蜜语。。是从我心讲出来。。。笑，喝，开心，三八。。。大概，八点多。。载她回。。那时，我考虑很久了，到最后，我勇敢的捉住她的手，然后，再一次抱她，真的吻下去她的嘴。。。再嗅她的头发。。。哈哈。。。不是变态。。而是因为她真的很香！！！！！！

我就回了金宝。。很不舍得。。但是 到了， 9/4/2011

她终于开口问我要不要陪她去和她朋友玩。。。我真的很开心。。因为她不会那么问我。。。=）

这个时候，我去baby的家先。。。等她朋友载我们上。。

她姐姐看到我。。。哈哈。。ow oh...本来说是朋友，可是突然，她姐一开baby的fb，看到我的照片和她的。。。哈哈。。。就。。。你们懂的啦。。。嘿嘿。。。。她姐出去后，我们就静静看戏咯。。我看到没有人，我就靠近她，抱她一起看戏。。=） 感觉真幸福啊！！！！！

不久，她朋友到了。。。然后我们就上咯。。

妈说过，人好看，怎样拍鬼脸都是那么美。。 我的宝贝，就是好看。。怎样丑，我还是那么喜欢。。。 我上到云顶，她朋友，一个一个过来，宝贝介绍我给他们。。我点不好意思的。。。好像明星。。哈哈哈哈哈

baby说我抢走了她的光。。。我就给她个 “没办法”的反映。。哈哈哈。。。。看到她笑，真的心很舒服。。。=）

我承认有时我们也会吵架。。。吵有的没的。。。她是不开心我之前有蛮多的女朋友。。可是，她，就是她让了我定下来。。。她让了我，乖，让了我学会真正爱个人，让了我学会照顾对方。。。最重要，让了我有原因找钱为了养她。。

这个女子，很厉害。。。我的情绪，我的开心，我的伤心，都是可以被她影响。。。

就是她，我想牵她手直到我死为此。。照顾她这一辈子。。我没有开玩笑。。我很认真的说以下那三个字。。。。

我爱你，罗佩仪。

i might have found the one...

yup! 1 month passed d...=)

im recovering very fast.... why? 因为我遇到了你。。

我对了自己说我不会再爱别的女子了。。。但是，认识你后，我觉得我愿意再冒险多一次。。

为什么？因为刚认识你，你超保护自己，你不会发桥，你不会乱来。。最重要，你不会乱乱理不认识的男子。。我真的很开心我遇到了你。。。这种才是女子！=）

虽然我知道刚开始你敷衍我。。。我也知道我需要证明给你，我是真真的认真。。。=）

刚开始，很开心，因为可以和你出街。。哇。。而且我是第一个男子你愿意单独出的。。幸福到爆！=）但是你突然封了个墙。。开始不理我。。。因为你怕你爱错人。。伤是伤。。。老实说，真的睡不着。。可是，经过不少解释，不少电话，你终于愿意再让我接近你。。。信我，我变了。。

变得更好。。

之前我超疼我女朋友，但是我会超越疼你。。因为，我知道是值得的。。

我还不能说我爱你。。。因为，我真的要确定你真正的属于我。。我才说那三个字。。。

让我牵你手，好吗“x佩仪”？ 不能说你全名，因为你不喜欢。。。

hey , im being positive!

hmmm, unfortunately, frens is the only thing i can become with her... finally, she spilled it out...

she got someone already... i know i wont be fine with it, and i know i surely need a damn long time to recover from knowing that, but....

everything was happy... and it all ended quite quickly... her parents asked me to go for dinner with them on monday.... not to say im not gentleman or not sporting enough but, shud i go? if i go, it will make the situation more complicated.... but her parents insisted.... i guess i have to go...

she resigned from that horrid job... luckily....

if she would just say, im sorry louee, i made the wrong choice and i wan you back, everything will be forgiven no matter how the situation is... i cant approve and accept she got another bf... but if thats what she wants, then let it be ba..=)

im smiling with tears rolling down.... now the book of us, only me trying to write something to fill up that book... i guess i have to close the book....

i was heartbroken to know that she have to walk to work, to ease that i chose to approve to let that guy fetch her... but never knew that something so....... fucked up would happen...

i wan her back, she is the reason i thought of the future, thought of raising 2 kids.... and becoming rich just to bring her go everywhere she dont have the chance to go.... she is the reason im motivated to study.... but i cant let this thing affect me... although now i dont have the mood... soon! give me 1 week tops..... i will crawl out from this love trap... this consider to be my first love as i did not get hurt this badly..... 4 days, no mood to eat no mood to sleep....

if people ask me, why dun u let go? i ask u back, would u let go tat easily? if can so fast let go, that isnt called love! dumb!

but i hope, he would be able to make u smile whenever... as i did.... u got my wish.... but also curse.... its like a dr.jekyl and mr hyde thingy.... haha...

i dun wanna be emo....

sometimes love comes around, and they knock you down but just get back up when they knock you down...=)

hope everything will turn out fine...

till next time... louee outside bitches!!!!!!!!!!!

recovering state...

emo'ed for like few days..... never eat never sleep properly.... i guess i have to give in to this thing la..

why i have been like this? everyone said cheh..... treat u like tat, for wat u sad? for wat u cry?

its not tat simple with her... me and her, we got this similar attitudes... we been through many things... 1 year 4 months... but i told u guys already. 9 months i spent with her, onli fetching her to school, fetching her back, calling her on saturday and sunday... slowly build our relationship...

i this few days, was so desperate till i even surf the web and check out "how to get ur ex back"..

there are tons of ways... but it all dont seem to make sense..

i dont know la... but girls change heart so quickly.. there is some isi tersirat de la..

i juz hope tat after few months, i wont see her status "in a relationship with xxx".... but i cant do anything about it though...i know she wanted alot of attention, because last time when she was young, she was not tat pretty... i juz hope she don do anything tat will make her dun respect herself... damn!

i chose to ask her back is because i know that deep down she still loves me... judging by the way she talked to me... some might say, im thinking too much, some might say im lying to myself.. but for me... im the one who has been with her and understand her for that 1 year 4 months... i know how the way she talks.... and portrays..

since we broke up, i tried calling her reminding her that dun make the wrong decision.. after we broke up, i did not tell her that her boss scolded her a devil... and scolded her and blamed her that since she came in to that shop to work, everyone was affected ....

so thats why, i chose to help her... to settle everything and at least b4 i really left, she can work and mix with her so called "fren" happily... i have been doing all the work behind... helping her...

but she scolded me, and she dun even realise... oh well...

i texted her the last time saying that " i respect u, so i chose to chase u back. and i think ur smart enough to know that who really loves u"... i dun noe this msg will give her any feelings la.. but...

i guess, if no.. then all i can do.. is to move on.....

she said im the mr right for her, she said she wont find another guy, she said if she breaks with me, she say i can do anything bad to her.. this is how convinced i am when we were together... and that is the reason why i put so much effort....

but i never knew that she would break up with me... never knew that, everything was goin very well, and she juz... snapped....

i cant hope for anything... i onli prayed... praying for an impossible miracle.... sad story... she's the one that i really wanted to be with..... but turns out.. im not the one for her.... even though she said that i am the so called mr.right....

watever la... its a very sad ending..... but she happy with it and feel no regret or sad, then.... let it la...

my chinese new year..

i made a list of wat to do when i m goin back on 28th.... now it all been thrown into the garbage...

all the list consist of bringing her to jogoya, goin to full house.. bringing her back to my hometown...

i never bring any girl back to my hometown b4.. i mean my grandpa house.. i never knew....

i never got the chance.. but also consider lucky la.. cos if i bring then broke up also not good la..

oh well... im sad enough d la.. no point in crying... choices are made, hearts are broken... all will be in good hands...=)

no worries... hehe...

im stupid cos im still hoping for some miracle to happen... for someone to come back...

but i guess... impossible.... oh well...

i wont go clubbing, i wont go drink beer juz to ease my pain.. cos doing all these are excuses... i can cope with the current situation... i can do it...

chinese new year, not goin anywhere... 2011... i guess its not a good year after all since my popo said somethin will happen....]

found this song ... wow.. alot of song can relate.. haha...=)

I believe that in time my heart will heal again
And i believe that in time my heart will feel again
So i keep on holding on (yeah)
So i keep on being strong (yeah)

Cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again
I know one day i'm gonna feel again
And i know although my heart hurts now
I'll find a way to get up off the ground
Cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again

I believe that this heart of mine can make it through
And i believe that my heart can make it over you
So i keep on holding on (yeah)
So i keep on being strong (yeah)

Cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again
I know one day i'm gonna feel again
And i know although my heart hurts now
I'll find a way to get up off the ground
Cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again

And though it's hard for me to breathe
And even harder to believe
I know that one day i'm gonna find
I'm gonna be just fine

typical women....

可能我就一开始已经错了。。

当我一知道事实后，整个世界开始变暗。。

知道她根本对你绝情，还给她骂回，原来我发现自己是这么傻傻的还爱着她。

我真的以为，她就是我的唯一，我的下半辈的伴戀了。。。

没想到，事情太突然，就要离开。。

在她心，我已经不存在。。其实，我有预了这天会来。。。只是没想到那么快。。

自从她做这工，她慢慢对我淡了。。谈话也没什么谈到，骗话一天比一天更多。。

是我错，我不该管她。。她还小。。她需要自由。。可是，当她说分手，她根本没有当过一回事，做工时没有伤心。。这已经让我觉得她，根本不需要我了。。

有时，我会很生气，为何突然恋爱到好好，一下360度转。。。完全没有爱，她还答了我“没有爱你，做么还要给你机会呢？” 很好。

我应该算kena够够力。。因为真的很痛。。。

但是要谢谢我朋友。。他们会和我说“既然你对她那么好，她不懂得珍惜，还要那么叛逆，那你慢慢放吧。。” 不要想那么多了。。

可是，我心依然还是那么爱她。。但是，她应该不会懂吧。。

就算我再大声喊我爱你吴雪恩，你几靠近我，你也没有听到。。

给她说我小孩。。对啊。。我是啊。。但是为了你我才变到将。。因为我没有你了，我都不是我自己了。。因为有你，我才会成熟因为我需要照顾你。。。

我会慢慢放弃。。我就算现在真的真的很爱，但我还是会慢慢放弃。。

因为你已经不是我爱的吴雪恩了。。这首歌真的很适合我的心情。。

Easy come Easy go
That's just how you live oh
Take take take it all
But you never give,
Should of known you were trouble
From the first kiss had your eyes wide open,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash,
You tossed it in the trash, you did.

To give me all your love is all I ever asked cause
What you don't understand,
Is id catch a grenade for ya.
Throw my hand on the blade for ya,
Id jump in front of a train for ya.
You know I'd do anything for ya.
Ohhh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain.
Yes I would die for ya baby,
But you won't do the same.

你也不会为我而改。。现在我只能希望我所说的一切是错的。。我不想看到她拖别人的手。。吻别人的嘴。。嗨。。可是。。放弃吧如易。。。

这次我会逼自己不要再找你了。。由时间证明一切。。希望你能看到我写什么。。。

因为你跌倒，给人伤，我还是依然的会扶你起来。。。因为真正爱个人，就是这样。