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Canoeing is coming to an end really soon. It has become so much a part of my life that i really dont know what i am going to do when it ends. Everyday i have trngs, double trngs,water trngs,land trngs. It has been a tough walk but nevertheless enjoyable. It would probably be the best ever memory of JC life, the people i know there, the sport i have come to love very very much. sudden emo-ness i dont know why. I love canoeing very very very much. Its like no words can express how i feel about it. Probably you guys in the team, every single one of my teamates,made my life in canoeing so much more enjoyable.All of you are such an important part of my life, i really dont wanna see this special bond we have amongst us go after we step down. Canoeing has given me much tears, much laughter, it made me learn to be a better person, it gave me discipline, it made me mature as an 18 year old, most importantly, it gave me friends that i would never want to lose. I love you guys very much, its because of the 16 of you that gave me the courage to pull through all the sad and unhappy times in canoeing and emerge as a better person. Not forgetting my beloved coach, who gave me countless opportunities and never gave up on me even though i may not be the best at this sport.

From 22 to 17, i enjoyed every second i had with you guys, every trng, every lunch/dinner, every gathering. I will miss the lameness of the team, the laughter u all have brought to me can never be replaced.

Thank you guys for making this walk worthwhile. back to the top?
I feel like im breaking down.
I always think of you when im down.
I want so much to tell you my sorrows, but yet i cant bring myself to do it.

Its wrong. Im just too dependent on you.


It never should have started. back to the top?
everything in my life is not going smoothly.
i feel suffocated and helpless.
i cry for no reason and i think im going crazy.
pls let me get over these tough times quickly.

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I dont understand why people have to have regrets. Regrets are the biggest pain in our lives. so many what ifs, if i have done this and that, maybe a life would have been saved. Such a small little thing, to die like that is really very sad. ILYB.

I think humans are very selfish. selfish to the extent that we think only for ourselves. i couldnt believe how selfish i am. while hes suffering, im out enjoying myself. The least i could do was to comfort it, take care of it, or even send it to treatment earlier. But i dint. And i blame myself for that. why do we always have to think of ourselves. why cant humans be less selfish? why do humans have to have regrets. i hate all these regrets.

I hate myself for doing such stuff, but life has to go on yeah. i just hope these short 2 years of bomb's life was his best ever. Cos it certainly was mine with him arnd.:)

R.I.P Bomb. i love you very very much. back to the top?
Alright i realised its been a long time since i updated. wanna update on new year but apparently i forgot and anw i am too lazy to do so. haha.

okay this must be damn late alrdy but i still must say. 2009 has been a great year for me and i am really blessed to have such great friends and family who helped me through this year. J1 for me was a scary year, cos i advanced and even though i really wanted to promote, im glad to be given this second chance to work harder in J2, which starts like tmrw? Ugh all the stress is gonna come in no time. JC has been fun for me so far, even though MJ may seem so darn boring, but i guess its the friends that makes it enjoyable and manageable:)

One thing that i must be really thankful of is canoeing. Canoeing has really more or less changed my life totally, both bad and good. It caused me much tears, yet much happiness too. Bad cos it is really time consuming, and cos of certain problems in the team which the exco had to deal with, and yet good cos it gave me so many friends that i can count on, and which i know i wont forget in time to come. Saffa, veronica, xinyi, jiaying, kenneth,detian,jun jie,wilson,Jeremy,dion, john, jie choong, zhi cong, Yi zheng, geraldo, sennett, thank you guys even though ur wont see this post hahah. Thank you to seniors like fiona, erlina, cheng yew, jeremiah, colin, miang joo,zi ye, alvin,chun kang, jun an, jason,jonathan,Ric, javin who have taught me so much in canoeing:) Ystd my bro asked me whether i regretted joining canoeing(bcos i become so buff i dont look feminine at all -__-), my answer was canoeing is one of the best experiences ever in my life so far. Really, i joined this cca wanting to learn a new sport and wanting to challenge myself, and im glad i did cos i learnt so much in canoeing,with all the competitions, marathons,slope runs... and it is really really a fun cca no matter how tough trng may be. The ppl there makes trng fun to go through:) Many first experiences in canoeing haha. Shant elaborate.

On to my JC friends, im thankful for my PL school mates who have joined me in MJ, esp eliz and claire, who really made life in JC easier with the familiarity and all:) so glad to still have ur with me, and we can always talk abt our experiences in PL which no one else here would know much of:) these are the times which i really enjoy myself, talking abt the happy times in PL. So much has changed in PL, and it has become so foreign hence im glad to have these memories kept within me:)

Then there are my beloved new friends in JC, nisa, hazel, mai, debbie, isabel, peiling and all my classmates in 415. Being in a class with all of you has really been enjoyable and fun! I love 09s415! Even though this year the class will be slightly diff, 09s415 will stay tgt i hope and hopefully the new classmates will be nice ppl too:) cant wait to see all of ur tmrw!!!

And theres the netballers of course, the most impt ppl! Even though we are in diff places now, im amazed and really glad that we still rmb each other and are very much close knitted as before, as if we are still in the same school! Im really really glad for having you guys arnd me and i know this strong bond amongst us will stay for a long time to come:)

Alright to sum it up, 2009 has been a good year for me and i look forward to a better year in 2010! i wanna study hard and do well for A levels, and get into a good uni course!

Next sun is Singapore Canoe Marathon. Many stuff happened and im just wanna say im really glad to have such a good partner(xy) :) I wouldnt ask for anybody else to be my partner! thanks for being there for me and lets work hard tgt to achieve our goal!!:) back to the top?
I just realised my whole holidays is practically canoeing. ok not just realised, knew it long ago but just needed time to sink in.

anw, since my whole life is just canoeing, well what else can i be blogging abt? hahah im being nagged at for gg out which i dont understand cos i have not gone out more than 3 times this holiday? the only time i step out of the house is to go for trng, after which i come home straight. Hai. all these stuff abt "stay at home to study!" its called holiday for a reason right. i need some play too.

well,its over anw. so dont wanna brood anymore on unhappy stuff. shall talk abt today's trng. haha k im very proud of myself for today trng. i took a single boat(k1) today cos my partner was sick. and i hate a single boat cos i cant balance well in it. and i hate capping cos its kinda embarrassing to be the only one capping in ur team when everyone is alrdy progressing. and to add on, it has been a long time since i touched a k1. so naturally i am even more unstable when i took it again.

k so trng went on, and it was the last set of 4km. I was prepared to push damn hard cos i dint want to be at the back. and before that my coach acty told my friend,john to catch up with me cos hes just a little behind me. and of course being me, i am not going to let that happen haha and somemore the joy of winning a guy is just damn good. hahah so we were going to start in 10 secs, and just when the cue was given to start, I CAPPED! did i say how unstable i was in a k1 and cannot balance?! omg that was the worst. i felt so irritated i just screamed and i really felt like giving up then. My goal of winning my friend was just gone like that. To clarify, i seem very like im very competitive or whatever u call it haha, but in canoeing its like unavoidable, u just got to set a goal to improve and that is to pace someone. healthy competition ppl! hahah k so anw back to the topic. I was like waddling in the water when i heard my coach say, hurry up jaslynn! U got to continue! In a race u cant just give up like this! u got to complete the race no matter how far behind u are! that really like struck me. "IT STRUCK ME" (HAHAHAHAH netballer's joke) I quickly got back up and emptied my boat and set off quickly. By then john was like at the 500m mark, which means for those non canoeists reading my blog, its like super far away alrdy.(3 mins away?) I was like shit, how am i going to catch up? then i rmb wht my coach say to my friend. "catch up with her!" wah it struck me again hahhahaha. if i just give up now he will really beat me like wht my coach say. no way man. haha so i paddle my hardest, like really damn hard. and at the 3km, i saw that i was getting closer and closer to him. haha damn excited then cos i knew i had a chance of winning him. so i continued paddling, though my arms felt like it was gonna break any moment, and at the 3rd km ending, i was in front of him! :) i was so happy and that spurred me on to paddle even harder in the last km cos i dint want him to catch up with me. And when i ended the 4km set, i turned arnd and i saw that he was like 4 buoys away and i was damn happy. for myself i mean haha. I acty caught up from so far behind and win him!!! hahahah i seem like im gloating over this but no la im just really very happy that i pushed myself to my limits instead of just keeping behind my mental barrier. haha so anw that like sums up my day today? haha after this its like time to study sian.

oh and potato seriously pisses me off. plus ego shit. Think first before saying why does coach like the girls team more? and why u dont deserve to be in a k2! 930?! Try to hit 10 first k! learn all the stupid dirty tricks aint gonna help u. where's ur integrity seriously!

hai whatever i.am.gonna.calm.down.and.not.get.angry.over.some.stupid.root.and.piece.of.shit.

11:11 really makes ur wishes come true.
It works wonders cos my wishes came true.
give it a try ppl!:) back to the top?
haha stand chart half marathon ystd, trng today. i think i must be crazy haha. heng its water trng and there was no slope runs lol. so im glad i survived today hehe! i think im growing old. my knees are hurting and my shoulder is aching like siao. AND i keep sleeping so much these few days.something.is.wrong.with.me. OMG. anw i wanna aim for the full marathon like maybe next year! yay cant wait to achieve that hehe.

My hamster is growing old:( bomb is growing old. i feel so scared to wake up one day and see him dead. everytime i see him he doesnt have the energy to even push himself up into the tube. its sad to see this:( life's kinda unfair huh. we humans get to live for so long, yet they have a lifespan of only 2 years. i think everyone deserves a right to live. well but then again, this is life. Life's unfair and we just gotta accept it. Bomb is alrdy 2 years old, so im just hoping for the best but i love him so so much all the same:)

On a lighter note, JC just told me smth abt potato thats super funny omg hahah! ok i bet no one understands wht i am saying haha but ask me if u wanna know. cos i will be more willing to share with u how wonderful potato is!:)

hahahah and omg i cant believe i plucked up the courage!:) just hoping things will happen though i know it would most probably just end like this. but im glad that i made an effort to make the first move hehe.

alright nights ppl!:)