A small box of happiness

I normally get a lot of parcels at work due to the amount of IT equipment and consumables that I order for the company. However, this morning, one small box stood out from the rest... it was from my beloved Sis!!!! All the way from home...

To Bro

Just a little something from home for your 30th birthday - some good ol' movies and snacks to enjoy them with.

Love, Sis.

Contents of box:
VCDs
- DO-RE-MI
- Ali Baba Bujang Lapok
- Madu Tiga
- Pendekar Bujang Lapok
- Seniman Bujang Lapok
- Bujang Lapok
- Labu & Labi
- Nasib Si Labu Labi
- 3 Abdul
- Mekanik
- Adik Manja
- Sepet (Full Uncut Version) with Postcard

Snacks
- 1 packet of Kacang Ngan Yin (Tanpa Kolesterol)
- 1 packet of Kuaci Dahoda (Tanpa Cyclamate)
- 1 packet of Ken Ken Prepared Cuttlefish (Tanpa Cyclamate)
- 1 packet of err.. Pelam Tanpa Biji(?) (Tanpa Cyclamate)


Woohooooo syiokkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!


(Note to self: Do a Google search on Cyclamate)



p/s: Love ya Sis!!!

I need better lunches

YUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!! HACCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!! GAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! UWEEEEKKKKK!!!! OGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! BLUERRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!! PTUIH!!! PTUIH!!!





And they charged me £1.89 for that???

Excuse me?

We're sorry...

... but we can't process your request right now. A computer virus or spyware application is sending us automated requests, and it appears that your computer or network has been infected.

We'll restore your access as quickly as possible, so try again soon. In the meantime, you might want to run a virus checker or spyware remover to make sure that your computer is free of viruses and other spurious software.

We apologize for the inconvenience, and hope we'll see you again on Google.

What an insult!!! Bah!!!! Grrrrr!!!!

When did you last do a backup?

The hard drive of my laptop crashed earlier this month.

It was a fine Sunday morning. The sun was out. The birds were chirping in the garden. Car horns were blaring on the A406.

There were neither warnings nor any signs; audio or visual-wise.

To put simply, it just “died”.

The laptop has been in continuous use for several years, and rarely switched off; I’m a heavy user.

The hard drive, as loyal as it may come, had served its purpose, and reached the end of its significant life.

Even I, being in the line of work that I am in for the past seven years, could not have prevented it from happening.

Without the hard drive, the laptop was missing a crucial component and loses the ability to function properly. It will still power on, but will not be of much use to anyone.

It just continues to feed on electricity, forever and ever; until somebody... decides to pull the switch.

Sounds familiar?

People who are already brain-dead, but still being kept alive... by means of a life-support machine.

The body continues to feed on oxygen, forever and ever; until somebody... decides to pull the switch.

Similar?

Gloomy as it may seem, my laptop was able to regain its full functionality, to start a whole new life; with the help of a new hard drive.

Of course, the hard drive will be empty at first, but with time, it will be filled up with new information and various files.

Data that was backed up can be restored, up to a point where it reaches an almost perfect recovery. “Almost perfect” because you can never restore data up to the last microsecond, because then, you would be a very paranoid person to be backing up that frequently.

The laptop is fine now, working away like nothing ever happened. It reached 90% full restoration. The other 10% were lost, but possibly can be re-created or even re-downloaded again from the net. Or even, stay lost…. forever.

Some might think that I work like a “doctor”, able to mend and heal these “patients”.

Alas, this doctor heavily relies on the right spare parts and backups. Without them, he is as good as a plumber who can’t get hold of any pipes, valves or fittings.

What good is that?

In the event of knowing when a hard drive is about to die (when your hard drive starts knocking and clunking rather than clicking or ticking), one would just duplicate the entire contents onto another one or copy them over to recordable medias or upload them to another server even.

Or if you have a backup already prepared earlier, use that.

Once a replacement hard drive is obtained, all the information is then downloaded into it and is then installed into place; replacing the defect one.

I wonder how the world would be if these can be performed on human beings.


I can imagine a conversation going on like this:

“Hey Razak, when was the last time you backed up yourself?”

“Oh-er.. three months ago. Why?”

“Well, you better go do a fresh one. A lot of things happen in three months you know.”

“Ya ya.. I will”.

“No seriously. Remember you went to that Siti Nurhaliza Concert with Nuraini a couple of weeks ago?”

“Oh yes, I definitely want to keep that.”

“Well then.. what are you waiting for?”

“Alright I’ll go do it now.”



If you think that’s weird, imagine this conversation below:

“I’m sorry Imran, but I’m afraid your sister’s brain crashed while she was making up a new recipe for Ayam Masak Lemak.”

“Oh dear! Can she be saved?”

“Well.. a lot of memories have been lost, but she did have a recent backup in her handbag on a USB stick. It was only made last week. We can use that.”

“But what about her brain?”

“I might need to be replaced. It took some physical damage when she fell in the toilet.”

“Replace her brain???”

“Don’t worry. I keep a few in stock, just for cases like these. Let’s see.. would you prefer a Seagate or a Western Digital?”

“Errr.. which is better?”

“Well the Seagate runs faster... but the Western Digital has more capacity.”

“I'd like my sister to be able to expand her mind... let’s go for the latter.”

“Ok, now remember, she won’t be able to remember what happened in the past week, because that was when she last backed herself up.”

“Ok doc, I’ll fill her in on the details.”

"That'll be £600 +vat please."



Scary?

Breathe in... breathe out...

Sometimes we just have to let things be....

....and pray that God will take care of the rest.

Lost for words

This beautiful baby girl was born on 22nd March 2005, officially at 10:04am, weighing in at a healthy 7.9lbs. I have never held a baby in my life, let alone a newborn, but the parents were confident that I could do it; she was only less than two hours old. At that very moment, all my problems, my worries, my anger, my hate, my frustrations, my sadness…. went away. I could only stare at the little miracle, resting in my arms; I was in awe and overjoyed.

It didn’t last very long. Soon, I had to leave the baby and parents to rest. Everything went dark again.


It was only about a couple of weeks ago when I was told that my presence at a birthday gathering was prohibited. I wasn’t able to wish my friend a happy birthday in person. I had already gotten a birthday gift; he never received it. I was not wanted.

They disagreed with an issue that I was trying to sort out on my own. Rather than sit down and explain to me how they felt and discuss what they think was best course of action for everyone; they just chose to cut me off from their lives.

To make matters worse; they publicised it on their respective blogs and posted photos where my image has been purposely edited out.


My heart shattered to a billion zillion pieces, so minuscule that the strongest superglue in the universe won’t be able to hold them back together.

Two weeks ago, I forced myself to accept the situation; their baby was on the way. I wouldn’t want to jeopardise the well-being of the mother and unborn child. So I backed off.

I knew the baby was due to be born on the 18th of March. So when the day came, I just prayed that everything went smoothly and painlessly. I was expecting a phone call from the father, an email or at least a very short SMS. But there were none. I felt the need to call him, I was concerned. But I held back. They made the decision. Not me.

On the morning of 22nd March, I woke up to find a new voicemail message notification on my mobile. I listened to it without waiting any longer. To my surprise, it was the father. He told me that his wife was having complications, and may require a C-section. But his wife wanted the consent from another friend who was close to me, before going ahead with it. He sounded very stressful.

I did what any other friend would do in that situation. I called upon my close friend and told her the situation. Based on very little information, she could only give a very general recommendation; but accurate nonetheless. Just before we ended our conversation, she told me to let them know that her prayers are with them. I wrote everything down to make sure that I got everything.

I tried calling the father back, but he didn’t pick up his mobile. I called again a couple of times; no joy. I left a message on his voicemail with all the details. I hope he gets it in time. I hoped everything was ok.

I got into work and made my usual morning coffee, sat down at my desk, took a sip...My concern for my friends grew every passing minute. I decided to pay a visit to the hospital. What the hell.

I took the tube to central. As I walked over the Westminster Bridge, I recall the time when I was at my happiest self. The London Eye stood tall and proud overlooking the Thames River. I paused and smiled for a very very brief moment.... and walked onwards.

When I walked through the main entrance of St Thomas’ Hospital, I wondered again if I should be there in the first place. I paced back and forth countless times between the reception area and the entrance. Would they want to see me again on the day of their firstborn? Was it too soon?

I just wanted to know if both baby and mummy was ok. I would be on my way once I find out.

I called the father again to see if there was any news. There was no answer. I left a message to say that I was already at the hospital. At that point, I could only assume two reasons for this:
1) He was either too occupied with mummy and baby
2) He didn’t want to speak or see me

Which one was it?

To hell with it.

I went to the Reception and asked for directions. After a few exchange of confidential questions and answers, I was pointed to the lift to head to the 7th floor; the Birth Centre. I was surprised at the sheer size of the hospital. To say that it was big was an understatement.

As I went into the Birth Centre, I tried calling the father again; no joy. I left another message to say that I was there. I waited in the seating area for a few minutes before I received a call on my mobile; it was the father.

He came out from the labour room to see me; with the biggest ever smile I have ever seen on him. I shook his hand. He gave me a very tight hug. We exchanged tears momentarily.

I was led into the labour room where mummy and newborn was resting.

It would appear that I was their only friend there at the time.

I said hi to mummy; she looked exhausted... but happy.

She said hi back; and introduced me to the baby.

I was referred to as “Uncle Ijun”.

I was asked if I would like to hold the baby. I politely refused; I had never done it before.

The father said that it was easy and showed me how.

After a few minutes of struggling with his instructions, I held the beautiful baby in my arms.


It was only when I got back home later that evening that it dawned upon me.

So what happened then? Did they put up an act just for me? Have they forgotten that they had cut me off from their lives? Is this a way of telling me that they accepted me back?

I still have a clear image of that photo of me that was edited out, in my head.

I’m still very upset about that.




Neither of them wished me a happy birthday.
Not even a short SMS.



Congratulations on your newborn.
Thank you for allowing me to share in your day of joy.
I wish you and your family best wishes for the future.

Change is good.. no?

Thought I'd just change the look of my blog a bit... feeling a bit down at the moment.




Why do things always have to be so....



....complicated?




p/s: And Avril Lavigne made money from it?

My First Crush

She has to be the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes upon. Time stood still each time I gazed upon her big brown eyes. One could certainly get lost in them and wouldn’t want to be saved.

Her long smooth silky black hair with a slight bronze tint falls gently over her round shoulders. She's fairly confident with her own natural beauty that she hardly wears any make up, apart from that crimson red lipstick which accentuated the fullness of her soft subtle lips.

Her voice was as pleasant as the sound of a serene forest during a spring day with birds chirping, winds blowing and running waters splashing against the riverbeds. She would only need to open her mouth slightly and I would be anticipating the breathtaking melody that would follow.

Her scent was like a spring meadow; more so like the exuberant scent combination of vanilla and roses. She would only need to enter the room and the entire occupant would notice her immediate existence.

She could have never fallen for a guy like me...



....for she was my kindergarten teacher.

Not on my birthday

I was heading to the local cinema in my car on the A10 motorway today in hope to liven up what seemed to be fairly quiet start of my birthday. Traffic was bizarrely busy on a typical Sunday afternoon when suddenly, everything grinded to a halt. As usual I assumed some plonker must have decided to change lanes at the last minute at the traffic lights and held up the flow. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. A fire truck came from out of nowhere and blasted its siren right behind me. I swear my heart must have jumped out of my chest and ran across the other side of the road like an episode from Tom and Jerry.

"Get out of the frickin way you git!", I imagined the truck driver yelling to me behind his steering wheel. I would have been most happy to oblige, if there weren’t any frickin cars directly in front of me.

Obviously the truck driver has been trained whereby should he come across a situation like this, he would need to take a drastic action; and that was exactly what he did. He drove the truck over the motorway divider and went along on the wrong side of the road at full speed. It was like a lost scene from Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Another fire truck soon followed suite, followed by a third.

“Darling, I don’t mean to cause a panic but could you please pull over as there are three fire trucks charging straight at us at maximum velocity!”, I could just imagine what somebody would have been saying to their partner who was behind the wheel at that particular moment in time.

When you see fire trucks, one can’t help but to think there must have been a massive fire breakout somewhere nearby. I soon found out later that again, it was not the case.

Like a few other impatient smart drivers, I decided to pull off at the nearest junction. Whilest doing this, I saw what was holding up the traffic a few hundred yards ahead. There were the three fire trucks parked horizontally across the road, accompanied by two ambulances and what must have been at least six police patrol cars. Unlike the others who went off looking for alternate routes, I decided to park my car and investigate the incident further, on foot.

There, much to my dismay, was a red saloon which had somehow managed to overturn and landed flat on its roof. There were several million bits of shattered glass everywhere across the road. At least ten firemen were busy trying to get somebody from under the wreckage. One was equipped with a metal saw; to which he used to cut off both the front and rear passenger doors.

Minutes later, they managed to pull out a rather small body from underneath the wreckage. From where I was standing and witnessing the unnerving event, it looked like the body belonged to a small boy. There was no screaming or crying of any kind, nor was there any movement, at least none that I saw. He was placed on the stretcher to which then four paramedics hovered over and attended to him. I failed to see any familiar activities to the scenes I could recall from the many episodes of ER on Channel4. They simply secured the little boy on the stretcher and ushered him into the back of the ambulance. I fear for the fate of the innocent one.

Strangely, the boy’s mum or dad were nowhere in sight. Perhaps they managed to crawl out from under the wreckage themselves before help arrived. Looking at the state of the car again, I doubt that that was the case. I can only hope that they are under good care, for the sake of their little boy.

As I left the scene in pursuit to glorify my day with a movie, I couldn’t help but to think about that little boy on the stretcher. I have lived a full thirty years today. That boy could have been four or five years old.

I hope that he and his family recovers to full strength as quickly as possible. I hope that he is able to grow old and lead a fulfilling life.

It could have easily been me on that stretcher.

I was in no mood to celebrate today.

Fast Car 2005

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we can make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
Me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
Won't have to drive too far
Just across the border and into the city
You and I could both get jobs
Finally see what it means to be living

You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way

So remember when we're driving, driving in your car
The speed is so fast felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulders
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

My old man's got a problem
Lives with a bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
His body's too young to look like his
And my mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school that's what I did

So remember when we're driving, driving in your car
The speed is so fast felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulders
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone
I could be someone

You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way

One call made all the difference

The time has finally come upon me this day
My teens and twenties are out of the way
“Welcome to the 30’s”, I hear myself say
But I’m not sure if I should shout “Hurray”?


I looked at my watch, it’s just passed midnight
I officially became 30-years old tonight
I still have my hearing, I still have my sight
I’m glad that everything is looking alright


My mobile went off as I was sipping my latte
It was my sweetie, I answered it straight away
Said she was sorry she couldn’t be with me today
But stayed up late, to wish me a happy birthday





Thanks for the birthday wish sweetie.
I really wish you were here...

I feared this...

Kiezamy passed me the schtick!!!!

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
Which computer; which laptop, which workstation, which server? Do I need to include the ones I have in my USB sticks as well? Altogether, I would say about 17Gb's worth which I have been collecting on and off since 1994.


2. The CD you last bought?
Michael Buble – It’s Time, it was a gift for someone






3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
Sunset Strippers – Falling Stars, it was playing on Capital FM this evening as I was driving home from work






4. Write down five songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
Only five? Very difficult to narrow them down. Let’s see what pops out of my head at this moment...

i) Re-Rewind (When The Crowd Say Bo Selecta) – Artful Dodger feat. Craig David
- the first ever garage song that I heard and I still listen to it today to give me that bit of a “kick-up-in-the-ass”

ii) Angels – Robbie Williams
-all time favourite UK male singer

iii) Piu’ Bella Cosa – Eros Ramazzotti
- great dude, great voice, great lyrics, great song, ‘nuff said.

iv) With Arms Wide Open - Creed
- was overwhelmed by this song during a phase when I was a WWF fan (now called WWE)

v) Memori Bahagia – Sahri AF
- reminds me that I’m just a human being after all







5. Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why
i) KakTeh
ii) SunFlora
iii) BlueScrubber

Why? Because of the reason...

....of course.

Early Birthday Wishes...

I was engrossed in sorting out a severe email routing problem on our corporate network this Thursday afternoon when suddenly Edward and Joanna came into my office, with wide smiles on their faces, much to my disapproval in my current state of stress. Suddenly, both of them wished me an early birthday and waiting outside my office was half the entire staff of the Enfield branch. Everyone wished me an early happy birthday.

I was speechless and overwhelmed, but managed to get out from my desk and thanked everyone for their kind words.

The gift was a full day at Sushi School in Southbank. I will have to register for a convenient date. Joanna told me this was Ed's idea.

The birthday card has got to be the biggest I have received yet. Ed told me that it was Joanna who chose the card.

In it, were all the many birthday wishes....


Dear Ahmad, have a nice birthday. David (smiley face)


Many Happy Returns to the `HIT MAN'. From Flora X


Dear Ahmad, Wishing you all the best for a wonderful and memorable 30th birthday. Love and best wishes, Zoe.


Dear Ahmad, Have a lovely Birthday. Love, Josephine XXXX


Congratulations, 30 is a very good age to be!


Dear Ahmad, When you are over the hill, you pick up speed. Enjoy your day. Simon of AFC (Ahmad Fan Club).


Ahmed, Many happy returns for your saturn return! Claire.


Dear Ahmad, wishing you a very happy birthday! Love, Sarah XXX


Hi Ahmad, 30 is .... well done? Have a wonderful day. Love, Grace.


Have a great day. Russell.


Very Happy 30th Birthday. Love Selma XX.


To Ahmad, Have a great birthday. Lots of love, Carol.


Enjoy your birthday, Barbara.


Have a great day Ahmad 30 years young! Love, Lynn.


Will all good wishes, From Geoff (newborn!)


Dear Ahmad, have a wonderful day! Lale X.


All the best. Jeff.


Dear Ahmad, a very hap;py birthday to you! Love Sharon XXX (smily face)


Happy Birthday, all the best! Lyndsey.


Have a fantastic day. Love, Jamila.


Happy Birtday. Love from Sue.


Dear Ahmad, many happy returns hope you have a wonderful day and get all you wish for! love, Kelly XXX.


Ahmad, Have a fantastic 30th birthday. All the best (illegible signature)


Have a great day! Vanessa.


All the very best. Jade.


Dear Ahmed, Wishing you many happy returns of the day. Best wishes, Emma.


Happy birthday Ahmad the big 30!! I'm nearly there too! Costas


Dear Ahmad, Happy Birthday and Many Happy Returns. Love, Joanna XX.


Dear Ahmad, Have a lovely day. Love, Jem XX.


Dear Mr Ahmad, stop sending roses you are putting us all to shame. Only kidding mate. Have a great day the big 30 hey? "Have it large" is the term the under 30's say!! I prefer "Have a good one mate" - over 30's club. Chris Massos.


Dear Ahmad, Hapy Birthday! HAve a great day. Love Anna X.


Dear Ahmad, Enjoy your day!! Love, Tina.


Ahmad, Have a great birthday. Love, Lisa X.


Dear Ahmad, Hope you have a very Happy Birthday. Love, Gloria.


Many happy returns. Have a great day! Jackie.


Very best wish. Chris.


Many Happy Returns. Lelar.


Ahmad, Have a fantastic 30th Birthday. Love from Julie XXX.


Dear Ahmad, Happy Happy Birthday! Have a lovely Day! Lots of love, Christy.


Wishing you a very happy birthday. Love Denise.


Ahmad, hope you have a loud/out birthday. Love, Liz.


Happy Birthday. Tracy XX.


Have a great time.... all the very best! Emile.


Happy Birthday Ahmad. From Peter (P).


Happy Birthday Ahmad... young man. Love, Louise XXX.


Happy Birthday. Best Wishes. Peter.


Have a great time!! Janine.


Happy birthday and many happy returns. Nila.


Dear Ahmad, Selamat harijadi! Make sure you makan banyak yah! All the best. Mandy X.


Have a great day. Norma.


Dear Ahmad, have a superb birthday. Love, Jo.


This was written on the back of the card:

AHMAD, YOU HAVE BEEN A GREAT INSPIRATION FOR ME OVER THE PAST 2 YEARS. IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE WORKING TOGETHER SO FAR AND I ENJOY MY JOB THANKS TO THE TEAM SPIRIT WITHIN THE DEPARTMENT.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU A FAIR, CONSCIENTIOUS AND SOUND "BOSS", BUT ALSO AS GREAT A FRIEND AND COLLEAGUE I COULD EVER WISH FOR.
I THINK CURWENS ARE VERY LUCKY TO HAVE YOU, AND KNOW YOU WILL CONTINUE TO PURSUE ALL YOUR GOALS IN LIFE WITH THE COMMITMENT AND DEDICATION I HAVE SEEN SO FAR.
THANKS FOR TAKING ME ON AND GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP. I HOPE THIS NEXT "STEP" IN YOUR LIFE BRINGS WITH IT MANY OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOURSELF TOO AND THE REWARDS YOU RIGHTLY DESERVE.
HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY!
YOUR FRIEND,
ED.




I felt a tear forming in my eye.


And it's not even my birthday yet....

Anxiety Strikes

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines anxiety as:

1a: painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill

1b: fearful concern or interest

1c: a cause of anxiety

2: an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increase pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it


I define it as....


....my job appraisal day. 11:00am with the Big Boss.



I'm feeling.... anxious.

An Ode to Edward

To my dear buddy and chum, Edward
Who proudly admits to being a computer nerd
Not first in the family, not second, but third
Comes from Macclesfield, a place I’ve never heard


Edward joined the company back in 2002
Picked out from over 100 candidates too
Made the best choice, I just simply knew
For Edward is still by my side, through and through


It’s 2005 now and Edward’s the IT Manager
He inherits my charms and my wits, I wager
But sometimes I do worry, it’s nothing major
When I see Edward tries to control his anger


Just hang in there Edward, things will be okay
No need to get all worried until your hair turns grey
The problems are just temporary, they will go away
For I will be there as well, helping you out each day

Why do I even bother?

I get hundreds of telephone calls each day at work from salesmen. There's always something out there that needs selling. Be it hardware equipment, some benign piece of software or even support services. It has come to a point now where I just be frank and say that I'm not interested. But sometimes the occasional persistent ones do come along....

Salesman: This printer is the top of the line, state-of-the-art. It's incredibly reliable and at this price, it's a fantastic deal.

Me: Okay I'm sold. When can you deliver?

Salesman: Would you be interested in purchasing an extended three-year warranty? I really recommend it, since printers have all sorts of problems and breakdowns and may have a 50 percent out-of-the-box failure rate.

Me: Hang on... you just told me how high quality and reliable this printer is. Now you're saying it really isn't that good after all?

Salesman: (silence)


*CLICK*


I guess he wasn't that keen on selling after all. Hehe.

In search of tranquility

I’ve been doing my shopping in the evenings for the last few months. Nothing beats casually strolling along the aisles in your own sweet time and not having to squeeze through the trolleys of other shoppers. During the day everything is fast paced, rush- rush-rush, do this now do that now, finish this, complete that, etc.

It’s no wonder that I find this new late-night "hobby" somewhat...

....relaxing.


Isn't that weird?

You know you've been on the computer too long when....

....you get in the lift and double-click the button for the floor you want.




What day is it again?

Oh, that's right.



It's only Monday.

She Believes In Me

While she lays sleeping
I stay out late at night and play my songs
And sometimes all the nights can be so long
And it's good when I finally make it home
All alone

While she lays dreaming
I touch her face across the silver light
I see her dreams that drift up to the sky
And she wakes up to my kiss
And I say it's alright
And I hold her tight

And she believes in me
I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday
If she was my girl,
I can change the world
With my songs,
But I was wrong.

But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
Forever in my heart she will remain
And I hope and pray,
I will find a way, find a way

While she lays waiting
I ask myself why do I hurt her so
What calls me on along this lonely road
Why don't I turn around and head back home
Where I belong

While she lays crying
'Cause she knows how my heart is ripped in two
I'm torn between the things that I should do
She deserves it all and I'd give it if I could
God, her love is true.

'Cause she believes in me
I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday
If she was my girl,
I can change the world
With my songs,
But I was wrong.

But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
Forever in my heart she will remain
And I hope and pray,
I will find a way, find a way

While she lays
While she waits


For me

To be home after driving over 200 miles....

... just to find that all the food in your fridge had gone off.

*sigh*




Asda anyone?

Revenge of the Sith

I just saw the British premiere of Star Wars: Episode III trailer on ITV.... can't wait for it to come out in the cinemas.... arrggghhhhhh!!!!

Oh-uh gonna be late for class!

A Bedtime Story

One day Poopie went to Manchester to attend a course. Poopie had never been there before so he was a bit scared. Poopie thought there might be bad and awful things waiting for him in Manchester.

Poopie drove to Manchester, he almost got lost. He never thought it would be so big; even bigger than the city where Poopie lives. Poopie was glad when he finally found the hotel where he was going to spend the week.

The weather in Manchester was very cold at first but Poopie got used to it very quickly. It was already late and Poopie was very tired from all that driving, so he went to bed. Good thing Poopie had an early dinner beforehand.

The following day, Poopie went to class. He made friends with five other Poopies who came to attend the same course. One thing he did noticed though, his new friends spoke weird. One in particular was oddly shaped and had a little voice. It was a Lady Poopie. Poopie felt a bit funny looking at this one.

As it was Poopie’s first time in Manchester, he thought it would be a good idea to wander around during lunchtime, since it would get quite dark after class. Poopie can’t see very well in the dark. Poopie brought along his digital camera, so he took some photos of the city. There were lots of old buildings and statues. Poopie got all excited, he was almost ran over by a tram. Poopie is not used to seeing trams, so he took a photo of one too.

That night, Poopie had dinner at the hotel where he was staying. Poopie was not very happy with the service. He had to put up with a Blonde Poopie who kept forgetting things that he ordered. Poopie thought perhaps the Blonde Poopie had PMS.

On the second day, Poopie was a bit more adventurous and cleverer at managing his time. He travelled further during lunchtime and came across a few theatres and concert halls. Poopie thought Manchester was pants but now he thinks it is full of cultured and interesting people. Poopie also found some nice bookmarks.

Poopie didn’t want to have dinner at the hotel again that night. He was still upset with Blonde Poopie. So he went to get some exotic salad and fruits from Marks and Spencers nearby. Poopie was very happy with that.

On the third day, class went on as usual. Poopie and his friends covered a lot of stuff. Poopie found it all a bit draining on his brain. He was also feeling hungry too because he only had salad and fruits the night before. Poopie was all cranky.

Poopie remembered that one of his friends back at work told him to visit the Art Gallery in Manchester. Poopie thought he might go there after class and have a quick look. When Poopie got there, the Art Gallery was already closed. Poopie was furious. The Art Gallery was next to China Town. So Poopie went there instead. There were lots of Chinese Restaurants there, but Poopie didn’t feel like having Chinese for dinner.

Poopie remembered seeing a Halal Kebab Shop when he was walking through town yesterday. Poopie cannot remember the last time he had kebab. Poopie thought it was a good idea, so he went to get one. It was reasonably priced too; £3.50 for a large doner. Poopie was very happy. He went back to his hotel room and had his dinner.

Poopie was very greedy. He should have ordered a medium doner. Poopie was already full and can’t finish his dinner. Poopie didn’t want to throw it away, so he stashed it carefully in one of the bedroom’s drawers. Poopie thought he was clever.

Poopie was so full, it was very hard for him to go to sleep. So Poopie got his laptop out and did some blogging. Poopie noticed the whole bedroom now smelt of doner kebab. Poopie was not very happy. He had to open the bedroom window a little bit to let some fresh air in. The air was very cold and gave Poopie goosebumps. Poopie did not like that.

Today was the fourth day for Poopie to be in in Manchester. He went to the Art Gallery again. This time Poopie went during lunchtime when it was still open. He was very happy he got to see some art. There were lots of drawings, paintings, sculptures and photographs from various times in the past. Poopie was sad he couldn’t stay there longer because lunchtime was almost over.

Class finished very early today because Poopie’s teacher was very good and covered things very quickly. Poopie and his friends were very happy to be able to leave early. Poopie thought it was a good chance to find a bookstore. He wanted to see if there were any interesting books to read.

Poopie went round and round the city. He couldn’t find Waterstones, Ottakers, Borders or even Books Etc. anywhere. The only one he could find was WH Smith. Poopie felt a bit sad. So he went in to have a look.

There was a big commotion about the next Harry Potter book. Poopie has never read any Harry Potter books before, he just wasn’t interested. Poopie found another book by Mike Gayle. He thought he would get that one. He would have a complete set then.

Poopie found himself loitering around in the magazines section. Poopie likes magazines. Especially ones about gadgets. Poopie got very excited about that. He started walking from shelf to shelf.

Poopie accidentally bumped into another Poopie. He apologised for doing that. The other Poopie said it was okay and smiled backed at him. Poopie didn’t know what else to do but to smile back. The other Poopie gave him a funny weird look. Poopie thought it must be how other Poopies here behave. Poopie then realised he was in the Gay section. The other Poopie was still staring at him. He must be a Gay Poopie. Poopie felt uncomfortable straight away. Poopie’s head was clouded with naughty and sickly images with Gay Poopie.

Poopie felt sick. He walked out of WH Smith empty-handed. Poopie went straight back to the hotel after that. He felt he needed to take a shower and clean himself over and over again, just like that new Nelly and Tim McGraw song that Poopie liked so much.

Tonight will be Poopie’s last night in Manchester. Poopie hopes his last class tomorrow will not finish so late. Poopie doesn’t fancy driving home after a long day. He also tries to avoid driving in the dark.

Poopie is considering staying for another night in Manchester. Then maybe he can drive home during the day when there is more light and he can see better. It will cost Poopie another £75 though. Poopie might be able to find another cheaper hotel to stay. £75 can get Poopie half of a new suit. He will need to think hard for the next few minutes.

The Deputy Prime Minister from Poopie’s country will also be in town during the weekend. Poopie is wondering whether he should stick around for a bit. Poopie was told that there will be thousands of others like him to see the Deputy Prime Minister, but Poopie is not sure if he will meet anyone he knows. Poopie feels a bit sad about that.

It’s getting a bit late now. Poopie still haven’t had his dinner yet. He wonders what he should get to eat. Maybe he can find something when he goes out in a bit. Poopie misses home-cooked meal. He looks forward to that when he leaves Manchester. Poopie can’t afford to eat out every night.

Poopie feels very proud of himself now that he’s done another course. Poopie feels a lot smarter already. Soon, plenty of people will respect Poopie and give him lots of money. Poopie likes that very much.

Poopie has to go now.

Bye-bye Poopie.


The end.

You can't run away from it....

The other delegates and I were having our coffee break at the dining hall discussing on how we're finding the course so far, when suddenly Nicky, the only lady delegate (and Welsh), turned her attention towards me:

Where do you work again?
I work for a medium-sized firm of solicitors in north London.

Have you got Citrix in place already?
Yes, but the technology is way too far advanced for me to grasp on my own.

Ah, that’s why we’re all here. What made you come all the way up here then?
I wanted to get as far away from London as I possibly could.

Why, don’t you like it there?
Its okay but I thought a change of scenery would help me relax as well.

Is it working for you then?
Yes, actually.

Pardon me but you have an unusual accent, where are you from?
I’m from Malaysia. Have you heard of it before?

Oh yes, I know Kay El. I did some work there three years ago. Do you go back often?
I try to go back every other year, but it’s not like a bus ride you know. It’s a very lengthy thirteen-hour flight.

I know what you mean. Have you been in the UK long?
I came here to further my studies back in 1993.

Wow, you’ve been here for some time. What made you decide to stay back?
I thought I would just see how far I could go, amongst other things.

Isn’t the IT industry booming back in Kay El at the moment?
It wasn’t doing very well a few years back and our students were encouraged to seek employment abroad. However, I’m not exactly what the current situation is at the moment.

So is your family here?
No, my family’s back in Malaysia at the moment.

Absolutely no relatives in the UK?
No, not really.

You’re still not married yet are you?
Er, how could you tell?

Oh, among the six of us, you’re the only one without it.


I wonder what she could be possibly talking about...

The Blonde Waitress - Part 2

Blonde waitress came back while repeatedly muttering something to herself. I could hear her all the way from my table,

“....orange juice, pineapple juice and cranberry juice... orange juice, pineapple juice and cranberry juice... orange juice, pineapple juice and cranberry juice... orange juice, pineapple juice and cranberry juice”, and paused as soon as her lap made physical contact with my shoulder, reminding me how incredibly tall she was.

She let off a small relieving sigh, as if a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She’s still smiling though; you’ve got to give her credit for that.

“Orange juice please”, I made my choice.

“Ok”, she responded and scuttled off to the kitchen again.

At that point, I wondered what went wrong during the selection process which took place when the table-waiting position was made available. Either her interviewer was a very lonely male (or lesbian) who had a thing for pretty faces, or she came out crème de la crème of possible candidates. I would find the latter assumption a tad bit upsetting.

I wasn't saying that I'm super smart or anything.. but there should be some regulation or law that enforces waitresses to have a certain level of IQ to be allowed to carry out their duties.

Blonde waitress came back out from the kitchen and assumed her other responsibilities which include folding napkins and laying down the cutlery. I began to wonder if there were any other waiters or waitresses on shift that night.

A sudden yet strangely familiar (but highly expected) racket filled the entire restaurant, disturbing its tranquil slumber and almost made me leap out of my seat,

“KA-TINGGG-TINGGG-TINGGGGG!!!!”

Poor blonde waitress dropped some cutlery on the parquet. Some northern curses made their way into her mouth and were expelled at an alarming rate. Another potential customer who approached the restaurant entrance made a quick u-turn and walked away in haste.

Blonde waitress consoled herself and went back into the kitchen. Perhaps someone in there would provide her with some comforting words or perhaps a slap in the wrist.

She later came out again a few minutes later but not empty-handed. My order was ready.

“Oh joy oh joy!”, I thought to myself.

My salmon dish and drink were placed on my table, with extreme tenderness, unlike the menu earlier which had a dissimilar fate. Blonde waitress whimpered something to me again,

“Amemememe…”

“Pardon?”

“Enjoy your meal.”

“Err.. I ordered a salad as well.”

“Oh sheeet!!!”

Now THAT definitely didn’t need repeating.

Off blonde waitress went into the kitchen again. As she disappeared behind the kitchen door, I slipped my hand into my trouser pocket, checking to see how much loose change I had.... ever wondering if I shall be banished dramatically from the restaurant should I leave behind zero-gratuity.

Moments later, blonde waitress returned with my salad and I was able to finally consume my much needed nourishment for the evening. I must say, the food, although wasn’t terrific, wasn’t that bad either. They were however, fantastically well-presented.



Once I finished my meal, it didn’t take long for blonde waitress to clear my table.

“Wumumumumumu…”

“Pardon?”

“Would you like to see the dessert menu?”

“No, that’s okay thanks.”

As mentioned earlier, I was aiming for an early night and didn’t really fancy anything sweet then.

I would have hoped that my declination for any dessert would prompt blonde waitress to bring me the bill. Alas, such high expectations should be well kept for someone else... like my offspring perhaps. I was imagining myself making a run for the exit at that particular moment. Damn conscience.

The proper way of getting the attention of your waiter or waitress is usually to establish eye-contact. If I recall correctly, it was considered rude if you were to holler or raise your hand to them(?). Anyway, my gentleman-like manner went down the drain when I did both. Once I caught her attention, I made a “scribbling on my hand” gesture, as I would normally do when I’m after the bill.

Sadly, blonde waitress was all confused and perhaps has never seen this “extravagant” gesture before, perhaps even thought it was a “mating ritual” of some sort. So she walked over towards me. As she was approaching closer, I continued to repeatedly say “May I have the bill please?” silently with my lips. Alas this too confused the blonde waitress even further, and started to give me the funny look from afar.

How I wished I had a stress ball then. It would probably be the same size as her brain. Tsk tsk.. such nasty a thought. I’m sure blonde waitress wouldn’t appreciate that.

“Can I get you anything?”

“May I have the bill please?”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like anything else? Coffee?”

Blonde waitress... *breathe in* *breathe out*.... actually coffee sounded good.

“That would be nice actually. Yes please.”

“Ok.”

You little manipulator, you.

Blonde waitress must have been serving coffee many times. She returned with mine in less than two minutes. Before she could disappear off again, I politely asked her for the bill, to save me some time… and more grief. Or so I had hope.

For her last performance for the night, blonde girl brought me my bill, to be charged to my room, and to be signed by yours truly… with the obligatory pen that seemed to be missing in action.

Honestly.

I looked up to locate blonde waitress. True enough, there it was, the pen, in her hands and she walked across the restaurant parquet.

Fortunately, I had a pen on me. (Hurrah!)

As I signed the bill, I noticed that blonde waitress had a name.

It was Sophie.



At least she got her name right.


Hehe!

The Blonde Waitress - Part 1

The first day of “Citrix Presentation Server 3.0” course turned out to be slightly brain-drenching. I was still a bit tired from the driving I did yesterday and thought perhaps I would turn in early for the night. As for dinner, I decided to try out the hotel Brasserie (super-posh name for a small restaurant offering mega-expensive food).

After peering at the menu by the entrance (they have it on display) for five minutes, I was greeted by a blonde waitress.

“Weahammammsit?”, she whimpered with a sweet smile.

“Pardon?”, I smiled back.

“Would you like to have a seat?”

“Yes please”.

By this time I noticed that I was looking up at blonde waitress. She must have been slightly over six feet tall.

“Would you follow me please...”

I was then given a grand tour of the restaurant, much to my disregard for such things, I then realised that the waitress had a bit of a problem deciding where to seat me.

“Emmm...”, her head turned left and right.

There was only one other customer in the restaurant and by my count, there must be at least ten other available tables on the ground level and ten more at the upper level.

“Emmm....”, her facial expression, although I would expect to be distressed, appeared to be... rather blank.

The fact that I had quite a long day and was beginning to feel a bit cranky left me very little choice but to hastily interrupt,

“How about one of the tables up there?”, I pointed to the upper level.

“Okay”, she agreed without much hesitation, much to my relief.

Blonde waitress then led me upstairs and although I have already helped her narrowed down her choice, I didn’t really fancy us playing the ‘oh-where-shall-I-seat-this-customer’ game again. So I pointed out a table overlooking the restaurant and sat down.

A menu appeared out of nowhere and was placed violently in front of me, making me wonder what possible sins I have committed recently and if I should dine elsewhere more forgiving instead.

“Doyumememmemit?”, she whimpered again, still ever smiling.

“Pardon?”

“Do you know what you’re going to eat?”

I marvelled at her choice of query. I was expecting “Are you ready to order?” or “What would you like to drink?” to be one of the first thing she would ask, or at least something along those lines. Asking me if I knew what I was going to consume seemed a tad bit... disconcerting.

Funnily enough, I already knew what I wanted , since I already had a peer at the menu earlier.

“I would like the salmon and a side order of the house salad please.”

“Ok.”, she nodded once, still with a smiling face and walked off into the kitchen, much to my bewilderment; I was expecting to have been offered a drink.

My answer came three minutes later, when blonde waitress came back and asked me what drink I would like to have. Some kind soul in the kitchen must have pointed the missing link.

“Do you have any fruit juice?”

“Ehmm....”, her eyes strained a bit, as if she was formulating an alternative equation to Einstein’s theory of relativity.

“I’ll come back in a sec”, she said and rushed off to the kitchen again.

I began to wonder if I was ever going to have any drink... or food for that matter... that night.



TO BE CONTINUED...

Lost in Manchester... (so knackered!)

- 5th gear on the M25/M1....




- A bursting bladder needed attending....




- An English food court....




- "We will bleep you when your meal is ready...."




- I paid £5.99 for this?




- Finally arrived at the destination....




- How quaint and modern....




- Always a welcome facility....




- Nite nite sweetie....

Happy Mother's Day

I purposely made the picture grey
It was taken during my graduation day
Mama was there, she came all the way
Happy she was, like a chirpy blue jay


I remember the time when I was in dismay
Something trivial, I was writing an essay
“Just do your best, son”, calmly she would say
And all my anxiety and worries went away


Mama’s far away now, I’m sad to say
I think of you mama, every single day
So the picture above, I put on display
For the love for my mama, I wish to convey



Happy Mother’s Day* Mama

*Mother's Day is celebrated this year (2005) on 6th March in the UK, but not until May in the US and Malaysia.

What lies ahead...

It’s that time again. I will yet be attending another course for a week. It will not be the last. I have a couple more courses to attend after that. Soon, I will have to think about when I want to sit for the examinations.

Strangely, it is not the examinations that bother me. I’m bothered by the fact that all these courses will increase my technical knowledge by tenfold. Frankly, I’m a bit anxious by that idea. The last course I attended increased my ability to streamline corporate computer network management in under five minutes. A shocking and frightening development, I must say. I have no idea why I’m feeling this way.

I must admit, thinking has not been one of my greatest qualities. I’m more of a practical man. They say “action speaks louder than words”. But of late, my actions have made a lot of impact in my life… and other people’s lives as well. Some good, some bad. I would like to think that I have done more good than bad, if at possible, none that were bad at all.

But alas, I’m only human....

... and sometimes we make mistakes.

FREE PORN!

Can you smell them already?