Sunday, August 28, 2005
title:{PAC Performance}
A great performance at the CJC PAC. Two nights of great entertainment and showcase of talents of everyone within the college. Well after these 2 nights, no more performance for me for the year, maybe except for the christmas one. Well, words cannot describe how I feel about this. Its was really great to have been part of this choir and to make new friends. For this I will have to thank God for guiding me to chance upon LT2 on that fateful wednesday while scouting for CCAs. And since then, my whole life changed.
The last night marks the end of J2s participation in the choir. We step down and give way to our new J1 counterparts. I must say I feel very sad to be leaving so soon. It only means I gotta study hard for prelims and A levels. And once next year starts, I guess life won't be the same anymore.
PAC performance was awesome I must say. I didn't expect it to be so fabulous. I thought it would only be just a few CCAs showing their performance for SYF. I was dead wrong. There were much more than I expected. We had students and even a teacher showing their keyboard skills. Students doing a piano duet and Miss Priscilla Lee doing her high standard performance pieces. And the highlight wasn't any of the CCAs at all. To me, the highlight was PYROBOY. Yes CJC has its own crazy fireboy lighting fire sticks and twirling and tossing them like nobody's business. It was simply amazing.
Oh well the best part were the taking pictures. Everyone was busy snapping pictures during the 2 nights. Well, it was cool. At least there are some momentos left to remind us all of the wonderful nights we had singing together. Such memories will never be forgotten. Well I really don't know how to express everything out in words. It was an experience you gotta be there to enjoy. We all had fun goofing around before and after the performance. May this sort of fun never end.
1:13 pm;
Thursday, August 25, 2005
title:{Spiritual Lift}
Today I had a great day. Wonderful I must say. But how it became wonderful was a good experience for me. Maybe some might not believe it but well it works for me.
Today started out horrible, tired from yesterday's rehearsal and stuff and simply exhausted to death. Was planning to skip choir and go home rest but end up going library to catch nap and also bought a Coke Light to cheer myself up. So dead, until I decided to pick out a book from the library called "praying everyday" or something like that, the may to august volume. Read a few pages and well it was really amazing. There were like so many nice stories inside, about how people's lives are so enriched through their faith and belief.
For instance the story about an entertainer who wanted to be a monk but he couldn't participate much in the Latin mass since he didn't understand. So he went to a chapel to pray instead to the statue of Mary. All he could offer were his simple prayers and juggling and dancing acts. It always pains him that he couldn't join with the rest of his brethen with their songs and chants. So he just did his best to pray a prayer a different way. Then someone went to report to the Abbot who went to investigate this matter, and whilst he saw the entertainer doing his acts, he also saw an image of Mary trying to fan the entertainer to cool him down.
Well that's one story, there were many other more stories. I was like practically tearing in the libray, luckily I chose a corner where I was pretty much out of view. Oh well after that I just felt more revived than ever. Was pretty much alert and energetic. Pretty amazing. Well this experience just lets me learn how to do reflection better now. And how prayers really do work, just as long as well, you do it right I suppose. I can't really explain about all these stuff that happened, but I just feel it was really great to have this experience for the first time.
8:40 pm;
Thursday, August 18, 2005
title:{Understanding Myself Better}
Books sure provide a great knowledge especially when you are so confused about yourself. Although some boosts are great, it might be bias so its best to read 2 at the same time. So that way you can like pick out similarities and differences and make better judgements about yourself.
Aggression is on the high for me. Probably because I'm really tired and its some defence mechanism aimed at protecting me. Suffering from fatigue, always wanting to sleep in class. But its like almost my second nature, anything probably just respond with aggression. At least not on the physical sense but ya my insides do flare up often. So far my best way to avoid any build up is to walk away from any situation.
Fear is like the root of many our of problems. Worries, stress, everything is all tied down to fear. Fear of many many things. At least I kinda understand how it is affecting my reaction to many things in life. Fear of embarassment, shyness, bruising of pride and ego, all the simple things. But however it can have a real great impact if we do not fully understand how it works and how it really controls us. So ya read more books. Life is about learning so go learn stuff. Studies is important but you must read to boost brain power too.
Anyway these few days been not feeling well. In fact been getting a bit sickly since last week. Hope I can still sing for tomorrow, or even be able to appear in school tomorrow. Oh well, must go meditate and find ways to reduce my aggressive reaction to many things and change it into something more pleasant for me and those around me instead.
4:29 pm;
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
title:{Still Not In Control}
Today was yet another outburst of some sort. Starting to be governed by my anger emotions a lot. Well at least after reading a book I can understand a few more things better about myself, how come I react a certain way. I'm like practically masking everything with anger. Not very healthy but ya. At least I know how things work now, maybe I'll find a solution some time.
So much knowledge, so little control. Gotta really find ways to try to cope with these outburst. Hmmm, I feel so irrirated about being this way. Always takes quite a while before I realize what is really going and try to stop myself. But still things have already been done and I cannot reverse that process. Anger, too much already. Every fear and worry and pressure is just met with anger. I gotta change the emotion association man. Use some other emotions other than anger.
Seeing smokey patches and some weird color patterns. Probably fatigue. So tired until my mind starts seeing weird things. Going to faint soon I guess. Better type finish this before I collapse. And if I do well, not very good.
11:30 pm;
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
title:{Hardship Ahead}
My life's in a mess. Rather my thoughts are in a mess. Either ways both seem pretty disorganized right now. Anyway who cares. I'd rather ignore it but still it's all starting to pile up in a real big heap. Something's missing in my life I just don't know what it is. Perhaps its God that is missing in my life. Or so I think it is. I don't know. I'm just living day after day losing my purpose. Everything is just monotonous. Although it is fun to be around friends and family. But still it just isn't enough.
Exams coming, and still haven't a clue what to do in the future. The career day talk isn't working man. Its more like people flaunting their success in their career. Maybe they should really clarify the difference between jobs and career. I'm sure some people don't know the difference and it can be quite bad. I hope I don't end up with a job one day. Oh wells, I need to try to understand myself more from the inside. Starting to become more instinct than rational. And getting angry for being so rash as well. All these little starting to hurt a lot
8:31 pm;
Saturday, August 06, 2005
title:{Some Lyrics To A Song}
JI PA BAN - $1M
Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Gua uh ji pa ban, jit si lang tio khin san,
Bo khong bo lang jai, kong tio chin pai seh,
Chiak kak hia nih tua hanh. ko mm pat je puey kee,
If I have got one million, one million,
I got one million, my whole life no worries,
Never say nobody knows, say already very shy,
Eat until so big, never sat on a plane before,
Pah piah hua chuey ni, bo chia bo chu ko bo ai lin,
Kua lang chua bo ko chuey sing di, wu jii ko wu seng,
Worked so hard for so many years, no car no house and also no lover,
See people get married and do business, got money and got success,
Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh je puey kee,
Wa beh ew seh kai, ha wa ee sai dai yang,
Lit pun chiak su shi (Wa chia li chiak su shi)
If I have got one million, I wanna sit on a plane,
I wanna explore the world, Hawaii to sun bath,
Japan eat sushi ( treat you eat sushi )
Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh buey chia buey chu,
sang ting ka hai bi, siang lang ka ho kih
lai hor wa chua bor
If I have got one million, I wanna buy car buy house,
exotic food from the mountains and sea food, find a wife
Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Nah sih li wu kiam eng jii, khui chui bien keh khi,
If I have got one million, one million,
If you need to borrow money, just open your mouth and ask and no need shy shy,
Bo khong bo lang jai, kong tio chin pai seh,
Chiak kak hia nih tua hanh. ko mm pat je puey kee,
Never say nobody knows, say already very shy,
Eat until so big, never sat on a plane before,
Pah piah hua chuey ni, bo chia bo chu ko bo ai lin,
Kua lang chua bo ko chuey sing di, wu jii ko wu seng,
Worked so hard for so many years, no car no house and also no lover,
See people get married and do business, got money and got success,
Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh je puey kee,
Wa beh ew seh kai, ee tah li lim ko pi,
Loh pi chiak speh ge ti (Loh pi chiak speh ge ti)
If I have got one million, I wanna sit on a plane,
I wanna explore the world, Italy drink coffee,
Road side eat spaghetti ( road side eat spaghetti )
Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh buey chia buey chu,
Buey tiam lai siu chor, eng eng bien cho kang,
Chua kow ki san por,
If I have got one million, I wanna buy car buy house,
Buy shop to collect rent, easy easy no need to work,
Bring dog go for a walk,
Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Nah sih li wu kiam eng jii, khui chui bien keh khi,
If I have got one million, one million,
If you need to borrow money, just open your mouth and ask and no need shy shy,
Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Chap cheng puay cheng teh ki eng,
bien huan ma boh bun tuey (huan chien pu se wen ti)
If I have got one million, one million,
Ten thousand eight thousand take go and use,
No need to pay back also no problem ( pay back money not a problem )
Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban鈥?br />Wei, peng yu eh, li siong ji pa ban, chin chuay ah?
If I have got one million, one million,
Wei friend, you think one million a lot ah
9:16 pm;
