Sometimes i wonder, if things really can be forgotten or they're just not noticed or reminded of so often that we thought they're forgotten? things, especially feelings, comes back with the flow of memories that comes through your mind whenever something reminds you of anything related to those memories. Some hurts, some joyous, some angers, but i just hope, with the whole of my heart, that it's true they're just a temporary feeling.
It's true feelings are all temporary, wounds heal, tastes fade, but they still could be brought back with memories, that i hate.
My whole life is a confusion, sometimes problems just all come rushing at me that i don't know how to react, feel and, solve. The time i have to think is so short, that sometimes i just crumble. It's so short that my heart on cloud nine could sink to bikini bottoms with just that slight disappointment. Sometimes i don't even know what to think after it all happens. Stunned, helpless, weak. But i appreciate it all, these, weaknesses of our lives that's all inevitable.
And the reason why i'd say my life's a confusion is that, i don't want certain feelings to be just temporary. Like many, i can wish that time would stop just at that precious moment so i can cherish it forever, but sadly the tides of time can never stop for any man.
But all these while when i'm just lazing all over the place eating calbee big bag hot &spicy chips, i'm still thinking, if it was all worth it. But upon opening the next pack i think, since it's done already, why not just accept the fact, and treat it like it's worth it? I can't turn back time anyways, i'm no D.Gray man character that have the ability to stop time and heal the wounds the past had incurred. It's only then i realised, the only way to continue harvesting fruits of joy is to look forward to anything we could have in the future!
The only thing is that, sometimes while crunching on the chips wondering when can i get to open another big bag of chips, i realised i've an ulcer in my mouth, hurts like fuck, so i shan't continue crunching on em, maybe there's not enough money in my yellow-ing wallet to get me another pack? That's where all the disappointment comes, when things you look forward to fail to happen. that sucks. I disappointed a loved one again and again cause' i've been quietly making her look forward to things that might've happen, but when there're bumps, fuck.
shan't say anymore! :D
i'm a happy guy now, looking forward to any possible thing that could bring even the simplest of joy out of me! :)
Actually all i looked forward to was, waking up knowing i'm still alive in this world, where, filled with dread, could still bring upon happiness amongst us simple human beings.
BTW!! CALBEE BIG BAGS FTW! :D cruncheh~