Daddy's adorable!



Bro2 looking rugged



PEACE to the camera lady



Bro1's failed attempt at doing his err... nard-move



I just had to post this spastic photo of bro2; coussie's in the bg! Gosh I love him so!!


Never knew heaven's tears could feel so heavy and cold

the barrier feels more tangible


so what? Give up?

I don't intend to. Neither do I intend to advance. So let's just play the waiting game.
All over again.

Here are the beaten the egg whites! Glossy huh! But I think they were overbeaten. Yesterday's disaster shall not be revealed.







These are pics of my "successful" (Ok, to me, tht's good enough) Angel Food Cake! Or Angel cake for short. I'll perfect them, won't I? Hah, I was using leftover egg whites! So, I suppose, still in the experimental stage.

I'll perfect my skills for Lin. Only for you~~ Lol. She drew me a cute flower! Yes, after I drew her one. She hasn't drawn before xD online msn*




I am tough. Sometimes I'm unreasonable. I have to catch myself every once in a while.
George Steinbrenner

Well, for me. I have to catch myself almost all the time xD

I really detest this smell!
Oh & I do hope I rmb to keep my neos safe xD
Mom's not feeling well ): Er, like just before we leave town. Umm,...really not a good time.
Well, tmr should be quite packed. Meeting mom to do don't know wht, accompany her to the doc, need to bake with the leftover cream, like soon! + shopping with von in the evening! & I haven't packed my luggage @_@ Hah..

I wanna run now T_T I feel unhealthy. Seoul was a bad choice, I'm supposed to abstain from heaty stuff; apparently I forgot. But I don't think this will worsen my jaw discomfort right? Hee, let's stay optimistic!

Bro's got a new phone and he doesn't like it. Well, sorry lil' one but I hate changing phones, so I guess no trading with me :P But I'm nice and have offered to give you extra allowance for every month I work! So you'd better study hard, date hard and play even harder. Oh of course, must rmb to love ur sis the hardest!

Err..I still stink, damn..

Yes I'm up pretty early today. 0702; I love the number.
Flunk it?
Gosh I should really stop saying things I do not mean :x

Lol. It's definitely not me to flunk anything. That is really letting myself down. It's giving up on myself - this is the worst which could happen. Tsk tsk.

God, why would I surrender without even putting up a fight? At least attempt, see what happens thereafter, then torture yourself with the decision-making. Ah, this is a much better plan..

Girl, you've promised to try your best so just do it. Follow Nike. There's a reason why they've made it so big xD
Fortunately, Mom gave me a lil' advice last night: Just go for both and see what they offer.

Some advice beats no advice.

Creme brulee part one:



This is my bro trying to remove a piece of egg shell from the yolk. He's really lousy at cracking eggs.



And here he is trying to remove the air bubbles from the cream mixture. I was smart. I let him do the more impt parts so if it's screwed up, no one can blame me :D

Hahs, well. It was a pretty failed attempt, considering the fact that we didn't have ramekins (I bet they're friggin' exp!)

We traveled over hills and mountains, streams and lakes + oceans but we didn't get a blowtorch. It was 50 bucks, all in at home-fix. I told my bro: Go Chong Pang lah, will have cheaper ones. Hah, Okay & we did. We walked there from the station (He said it's good training for the tw trip, so okaye loh) & spotted one hardware shop. It was the only one selling the blowtorch though. And it was 32 bucks. So we got the Ah pek to try it out, but it wasn't satisfactory ): You kinda had to ignite it manually, which I thought was dangerous. I don't like playing with fire. I really don't (:

Then I felt his love for me!

But it was bad. The torch was faulty or something. So we agreed, after much deliberation to get the more "high class" one at Home-fix. But the Uncle tried it for us, so how?? I was actually a lil' apprehensive........ coz I imagined the uncle screaming at us and demanding that we should pay for the entire thing, so here's wht happened:

Bro: You go outside first, I settle this
Me: *walks out of the shop* I was listening quite intently. I was mega afraid the ah pek may try to do something funny to my bro xD
Bro: *walks out* (I followed silently behind)

In the end, he paid for the butane fuel only. Ok, happy ending I suppose.

FAILED CREME BRULEE.

I feel torn.
Am still feeling it.
But c'mon girl, it's too early to enter panic mode just yet.

I STILL FEEL TORN............ when I consider everything.

tags: Dad, me, JY

But I don't want to go to the dentist again........................

I remember Liki asking me;

L: Do you think girls should dumb themselves in front of guys?
K: Well, to a certain extent yes. Would you?
L: Yes, I think I will... you?
K: I would too, unless it's some jerk, lol.

It stays that way, I guess it'll always be.

I mean, there are just some lines we shouldn't cross. Like the way genders are stereotyped. Sometimes, you'd need those for some kind of order in the community. Those really do help define and assign roles in society.

Okay;
If I don't get it, I'll give up because this was never meant for me.

So let's just wait for the results

& I wish I had a camera with me. There is so much to capture, it's just not the same with words.

What can I say? Yeah, through the rain really creates the 'ideal' mood to blog.
Lol.

Well, at least I can tell myself (proudly) that..

I've tried.
I've fought.
I've been true.
I've been honest to myself.

I'm a good girl ((((:!

*Meet my new friend Nebby! She's from China & I love her very very much, just like how I love them

Woke up at 1118. & my eyes can't open very well today. I'm.. d-e-a-d.

Aihs, well at least now, I know what 'career aspirations' refer too.

Oh I know, maybe because I was running in my dream last night/this morning. The RJ track was ready o_o. Okay, anything could happen in dreams. JY knows this better than anyone else.

Ahh... I shall stop sleeping so late alr. It's not good for the eyes. Gah..... I have another review that I'm supposed to book an appt for. Apparently, it'll have to be 'postponed' till after the trip. I shall ring the centre up when I'm bored & am done with my books x_x

Okay, promise I'll sleep earlier tonight. I really don't think it's healthy when you sleep so late and the second thing you do right after you wake up is to drink coffee.

cross your fingers and pray everything goes well later

yay (:

I've to be an independent girl tomorrow.

Ahh, it's dreadful. Yet, isn't this what I've wanted?

Sooner or later, it'll just be me. Fighting alone. So let's welcome that tmr.
T-o-m-o-r-r-o-w

JIEYINGGGGGG

But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real

Lauryn Hill — Oh Pretty Baby lyrics (part)

& I thought I saw you force a smile;

A forced smile for another forced one.

Nouns: Distraction, insecurities, just me.

#1. Swissotel was fun xD

#2. I'm outta mints. Crap... I almost hyperventilated earlier haha.

#3. The gals really looked gorgeous tonight. Yeah, I have to admit: So were the guys.

#4. Being too attached to the class would entail greater effort in letting go. Just like how I semi-struggled to let go of 4/1. Being Ban zhang really...

Ok, need to wash up then pack toiletries. Hope no one will be late tmr. So looking forward to the card test thingy! It has been well over a month. Hah, wonder if the "obstacles" would remain the same as the first time I took it.

Love 6N((:

Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Yeap so today started bad. Why?

Because of the very fact that my stomach couldn't stop growling for the first half (or maybe o.70) hour of my being awake. Yiks. The part which cranked me up was that I wasn't given food till 11oo. Double yiks.

Well, not to mention my hair/awareness of the state of my hair, which only left me feeling worse. Hah...

Ok, woke up at 6.3oam and headed straight to the market. Bought my roses for a very very low price. Maybe to me, they're cheap. And I asked the uncle if he could help me de-thorn them.. He said no T________T

So I went home & slowly removed the thorns one by one, on all 2o elegant roses. They poked me (while they're inanimate objects, they're alive! So 'poked' could be used right?). No pricks. Just pokes. But my fingers feel rough and sore. Eek. Lucky I'm giving them to the gals. At least they'll keep it for 1 day or more right? Which would mean my effort(s) wouldn't have gone straight to the bin. Hee...

Okay I need to get sleep. Maybe I'll "start" the day again by waking up at 143o. Maybe this way, I won't feel as crapped up knowing I'd get food the moment I wake up xD.

+ Have to prep myself for this evening's torture. Ahh... My panda. Come to mommy xD

xoxo

Time now: Just hung up the phone with miah. SIM's dy's.

I thought I was on the verge of getting over it.

That call sort of just ruined my newfound determination.

Pool really revealed quite a bit; which gave me more reason to let go/give up/whatever

Lol. My infrequent tyco-ness really doesn't make me a good player.

Gosh I detest haircuts. But that's the best hairdresser I can find at such a rate. Well, my hairdresser. Which really makes me not wanna go tmr ): Ah, it always happens. And I try to pull my hair so it grows faster. Shao says blow drying it helps it grow faster o-o Hah, I did try that. And I believe it does. I always look forward to a month after my haircuts. That's when my hair grows to look better/the best. Eeeeeek...

maybe it'll go away

maybe it'll go away soon

maybe it'll not

maybe thinking about it just confuses. Nope, not maybe. It does..

h-m-m

Double k-i-l-l today. Ok, maybe one took place last night.

& I couldn't sleep. Hah, woke up early & finished the brownies.

By finished, I mean finished decorating them. Gosh they're adorable xD

Going out soon! After one round of suicide-bomber-killing

And then, Meeting my most beloved beloved beloved!! I miss them terribly and finally, prom shopping!! You know how that feels? ................

Feels like the B-E-S-T thing that ever happened after monday. Sweet surprise. Ughhhhh I love them so so so!

#2; I finally received the reply from Raffles Hospital. Well, & I kinda realised it's just me going to battle alone. Think it's too late to get JY to join ): Hopefully her NUH application works out though. Aiyah, can one lah xD

Double kill & I'm loving it

I miss you dear blog!! Hah...

It really feels better after spilling everything out.

Well, Ah ma's still coughing. Badly... can't give her anymore chocolates.

Yesterday had no plan(s)
Today have no plan(s)

And yes, I'm still envious!

Hah.. BJ went out with his mum to get a camera (me? going out with mummy on saturday.. It feels like a really long time -saturday seems like it'll never come I mean- .. just like how getting me a camera doesn't seem to materialise)

Darren went out to study with Reg (his gf). She kinda got ''retained'' or so I've heard. Good luck Reg! I mean it. "I'll be here if you need me!! ((:"

Kor..went to the gym I think. He borrowed 2 bucks from his alr broke sis. Nah jk. It seems like something big.. considering how 'often' I talk to him. Hee...

Yes..and Ye Jun went to get his prom stuff. Ah..Maybe I shall ask Mr. Joel how to sustain plants when you're not given tubes of water. Hah.

Aww... tmr's planned (I miss them [IJ] so much!! But I get this feeling that we won't be able to go out tmr.. ). So is friday. What we're lacking is a backup plan for friday. Saturday's planned too. I'll crash prom whee hee hee. Okay, maybe just the reception part x_x Aha...

In any case, ah nvm. Don't wanna think abt it. Let's go kill some suicide bombers.

*Disclaimer to the previous post: No more creme brulee, something unforseen cropped up.

For the better or for the worse? Not up to me to judge.

Well, I love him/them & it's enough(:

Now that I've received some reimbursement/donation/remuneration/compensation (whatever dot dot dot) from my dear dear dear daddy, I feel really bad about being such a pain yesterday. Guess $ issues can really break an emo person. Lol.

Daughter: So when are we going to watch ninja?
Daddy: Saturday I got course.. but afternoon should be ok. Tell Darren.
Daughter: Orh (forgots that it's M18 and lil' bro can't quite watch)
Daddy: Eh, I thought you got prom?
Daughter: Yeah got, but I'm not going.
Daddy: Why??
Daughter: Too expensive
Daddy: I'll pay lah, just go.
Daughter: Too late. Everything settled alr, no more tix.

& I've realised the opp cost of not going for prom is rather high, but the best alternative is still ..er... the best? Hah. 8o bucks can...

1) Bring Ah ma out for dim sum
2) Buy new clothes xD
3) Can go Jurong eat the mega fish
.
.
.
Can do a lot of things.

Ok, now I feel better xD

I hope we get to make creme brulee like later or tmr. (Elder) Bro's gonna (ATTEMPT TO) make it for his gf/gal he likes. I think they've gone stead but I'm not sure. Sorry but I saw their neoprints *envious* I wanna take neoprints too ): It's been 2 months. I miss my girlfriends )): Well, I guess being in different schs may not be that bad afterall. At least you'd cherish more of the moments spent with them.

(I still find that I think fragmented-ly)

**I'll (try to) swim my way out of this.

Ok, now this shall go on hiatus.
Bye dear blog, again (yes again).

Yeah so the car ride merely reinforced 2 things;

1. BJ is a really really really great friend. Though he may say really hurtful & really really thoughtless stuff sometimes, he should be unaware of those right.... So yeah. Forgiven. Hah.

2. random wishful thinking hee hee

*heart*: Creme Brulee, here we come

I'm tired

While 'everyone' is out, I'm at home. Enjoying quality time with Mr. PC here.
Lucky daddy's home, if not, ... (let's not go to the if-nots)

Captain's ball went fine today. I finally get to run around and sweat. Sweet!
Tmr... Hopefully I'll be able to drag myself to the library to borrow the Great Gatsby! Gosh, craving for it since the GP exam. Hee... Arts do extend an enormous amount of influence.

Ok, gtg pick my mom up.

Shall save the ...

H-E-L-L-O

Hmm what can I say.

So much for family-me.

Well, in the end 2 pulled out. Got another 2 subs but parents aren't that pleased. Well, I can sense they're mad at me. Yeap, so this isn't what I can control. But won't you feel that little teeny bit of stress.. something like the sky is falling down, esp when someone close 'leaves' you for another girl. Ok, maybe 2. Then again, I've not been the closest to my elder bro.

I'm glad the thought of distancing myself from home disintegrated. Like c'mon, home's not home. It's a house. Okay maybe it 'was'. I hope it stays that way.

I'm left with a final paper. MCQ; dudette, you'd still need to buck up. It's p-h-y-s-i-c-s; Yeah yeah, so the library would be where my soul my body my being will be. Hah.

And sad fact is that I've been hanging out with the guys in my class. Damn lah where are all the girls??! Boys.. They make me feel like a boy. As if my 2 bros do not make me feel like one already. Bleh...

tchau

The scanner doesn't work

I'm not going to get a new camera

LIFE SUCKS

Pretty much yeah...

But why?..
'life sucks' doesn't exist ok.
No one said right from the start that life is supposed to be happy. Now, being happy is a bonus so cherish that.
No one said right from the beginning that life is supposed to be fair either.
No one mentioned that OUR lives are supposed to run smoothly, that failures weren't supposed to happen. 'THEY JUST WEREN'T!'

It is us, who have this strange mindset that we are supposed to be happy. And failure of us to achieve that = life sucks??

Well, Friday was the worst day. Then I tried again on saturday. & finally today.
Let me see... How many times have I baked in the past 2.75 days? Umm... 7 times??!
Out of which, only one succeeded? =D Well, so much for being optimistic.

Damn you creaming.

Ah well, even bro commented "but you always fail anyway". A lot happened. A lot.. Well, let's just specialise so the opp cost of baking is kept to the minimum, shall we? ((:!
(Meringues here we go.)
I've tried and discarded all the recipes I got from those 'dubious' websites. So far, I've thrown away at least 3kg of baked perishables. Nothing's gonna knock me down. Gosh.. back to physics.

cheers

An egg is a potential chicken. So respect that fact pls.

Lol. Caught that in a youtube vid on making a banana cake. That's funny xD

Well, I really wish I'd get better tmr. So I'll be fit for school and won't have to get another blue slip. So I could continue baking. I promise, this is the last week of baking. Hee. Well, there are bananas, which have ripened. And i promised I'd make s'mores for Mr fok. So yeah,..

I wanna get strawberry chips!! And more dark chocolate chips. Damn I'm going to amk tomorrow. Sigh.. Prelims are in another 5 weeks and counting.

tags; I'll post pics as soon as xxxxxxxxxxx (you don't have to get that)

getting so sick of s'mores.... the experimentation kills.

News time.

tags; you just rcv-ed an email from zy

What can I say?

I followed the recipe wrongly but am enlightened. Don't worry. Will bake somemore s'mores at the end of this month. In the mean time, I shall make something equally exciting ((:

Hmm..

How come my parents are more pissed with my bro for losing my cam? LOL. Or rather, why am I unusually composed? Well, for one I didn't lose my equanimity. Don't know. Maybe because I didn't exactly bond well with fullstop. Aww... Anyhow. I empathise, & so I shut up.

Hmm.. Today's dinner went great I suppose.. Waiting for zheng to send me the photos. Waha... Had Korean food. Seoulyummy! Finally, I'm having korean cuisine for my birthday, albeit it's still a long long way ahead. Anyhow, I'm very thankful ((:

What else.. umm the chocolate crinkles.. Will make them again using applesauce and brown sugar. For a healthier version & see if it works. Maybe some time next week. I'd need perfection before I cease my obsession with marshmallows and butter and messing the kitchen up.

At least my younger bro was sweet enough to ask me (in)directly what I wanted for my birthday.

D: After July.. is...
K: August
D:... Oh so what do you want for your birthday?

Lol so cute. Well at least to me.

tags; xoxo with much love

S'mores are genuinely addictive x_x

But of course, self restraint is currently ''WORK IN PROGRESS'', so yeah. I managed to stop at 1 plus bar of that gooey goodness xD

Pictures will be uploaded as soon as bro returns with fullstop. Well, a valid deduction that he took my cam. Hee. And of course, as long as there are still s'mores left in the home.

Going out for dinner now. Terribly broke; wishing for a Mac's cheeseburger; meeting a childhood friend. Well, I guess you can call him that. Not bad.. It has been 8 years. LOL.

tags; dinnerrrrrrr....................................

KRISTYN'S dear OG! =D



KRISTYN'S beloved CLASS <3




KRISTYN'S bestie!

tags; the urge to post photos

I LOVE this pace. It's comfortable.. hmm actually, I find it too slack. Ah well. I've been trying hard to keep awake in class ): must be the meagre breakfast I had this morning -_- damn. It'll get better ((:

I'm living very very well. My bro's still as lovable. When was the last time I ran around the house trying to catch him? Umm, can't recall. Which means it has been peace for the both of us xD Things will only get better. I won't allow it to get any worse ((:!! I'm myself now. Doing what I wish to, what I like, without bothering to be the 'all-so-sweet-and-nice girl' I used to be. Waha, life feels so s-h-i-o-k *lovess*

looking down at perfection!
Finally man;

Ok. So today's baking was awfully screwed.

B#1: under-baked
B#2: just right =D
B#3: chao tar! -.-

awful isn't it?! ): Ah but just as well.
Baked something and giving away everything =D
...
The lack of self-rising flour shattered my confidence ):
Aww it was something I was good at baking (or so I think xD)

Anyhow..
SCHOOL IS FINALLY THROWING ITSELF AT ME! love love

But why must it begin with the longest day!?!?!? >_>
Heck, have to go pack my bag and hopefully plan out my schedule for this week.
The only week I'll get to relax.

OHH!! Transformers 2 was fantawesome! If there's anything I love,
it has to be OPTIMUS PRIME! He's a darling!! Charismatic and full of grease and scrap metal =D

tags; taking off for the unchartered

yay I love her!

On a side note,

IT IS:

Gosh, another 2 bucks to a silly scam. yikksss

&
Still looking for that perfect white orange blue and green

tags; with much love

yearning

tags; HER HER HER HER HER

I really am not particularly fond of pink

water

tags; I'm glad I have you xD

The last thing that I can recall is:

mickey ruins everything

tags; pay heed to new advice

time to kill

yeah again

tags; err..maybe after 060609 ((:!

how I walk

boycott cadbury

I managed to bargain 1buck off W380 yesterday

Lol.

Reason being: a dollar off to buy bubble tea

Hmm. To be or not to be? To be ((:

Tags; to be me!

I can't un-hate someone.

(so bug off)

I'd rather devote my time loving other people

tags; get lost

0) Oh damn now I miss her ):

1) I'm not going overseas to study, I can't.

2) Woke up from a nightmare today. The after effects were horrid. I bet my lack of immunity today was the result of that freaking nightmare. No monsters, no weapons. Just a taxi. Y-U-C-K. Don't remind me.

3) happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday

4) kristyn, DO NOT screw up your spa tmr. It's your last and final chance.

tags; I bear grudges. Er.. or might as well say I can be extremely petty. Then again, it all depends on what I'm dealing with. Whee. This tag is too long to be considered one.

tags; can't get back up

"All I've ever done was try"

But I clearly did not even attempt.

Regurgitation, am I stupid or plain stupid or just so stupid?

Seriously kristyn, another disappointment.

It's not about yourself anymore,

it's about your tutor.

I bet he's freakin' disappointed in me.

My parents, though they didn't express any disappointment, will not be satisfied either.

Well, just a deduction. And I don't see why it's invalid.

5% is a great deal, for phy.

FREAK

ok mummy said to work harder for the remaining paper.

But how hard is enough? ):

Daddy said don't dwell on it. Move on and look on the bright side. He said that in a very enthu way <333

Well, that sorta lifted me a lil' ((:

comfort and encouragement from my parents.

they're awesome and that really helped.

I'm glad ((:

I WILL FREAKING WORK HARDER, HARDEST AND I'LL MAKE SURE MY PHYSICS PAPER WILL BE ONE OF THE TOP 10 SCRIPTS. I BET YOU I'LL MAKE THAT HAPPEN (to the best of my ability)

tags; go and die kristyn. It'll be a better day tmr, & be nicer to jy <33

Well, it's all about trust.
Believing others with an unguarded heart?

I really felt love and warmth there, then.
But the next period, it felt distant.

How then, am I able to place my faith in other peeps?
W/o reservations.

Heck that.

Just don't kao bei me.

What is kao bei in the first place??
I have no idea.
Just feels appropriate using it ((:

Tags; I can't stop thinking ''I hate''

wokay it has been a week!

technically more than a week.

A quick update before I turn to the class tee.

You won't be interested in my sch life so we shall skip that.
Ah yes, I almost caused myself undue worry.
The interview results aren't out yet.. Is it because I got rejected? (awww...)
Thankfully, I couldn't wait and came online to check.
Hee, turns out that the interviews are still ongoing. (phewss)
I really want this ):

s-u-m-m-i-t!!!!!

Ah well, Let's hope for the best. Shall pray!
(relief from faith )

Aside from that, I shall stop being real anal abt the milk carton xD
Yes I just got enlightened o_o
Refrain from imposing expectations of myself onto others.
Unfairness.

Tags; rose apples calms the evil weather

If only stress burns calories, I would have been a size 0

xD

A pity.

Well I guess it's time to let go. (phews x_x)

By accepting your inadequacies, it's really all about trying your best.

That is what matters.

This is something that calls for true understanding.

Believe that whether you study your guts out or not will ultimately yield the same outcome

((:!

tags; SO DON'T STUDY

G-R-O-W

verb (used without object)
to increase by natural development, as any living organism or part by assimilation of nutriment; increase in size or substance.

tags; hating it

I never feel comfortable using the word 'hate' in any of its form...

ah well

kristyn is an optimistic girl

yay

some retail therapy was what I needed

it feels good,

well at least better
(:

i shall use TRIM instead of that damned word 'cut'

what's next is going to be very random, but..

for once,

i hate you

tags; rmb girl r-e-m-e-m-b-e-r

you are like the baby of our family

lucky boy

you have the four of us to dote on you, so you should jolly well cherish our TLC (tender loving care)

((:

tags; we all know we love you

everything seems so deliberate

deliberately painful

yet I still chose to be part of your plan,

constantly reminding myself:

it is not so bad after all

How I wish it would be easier to let go of the negatives, and embrace the positives

Well, I am trying =DD

People love happy people
Friends love happy friends

tags; happy kristyn ((:!

I broke my goddamn tooth again

fish + 鸡蛋糕!!!!!

Why is my freaking tooth so vulnerably brittle?!

Ok, and I wanted to surprise my daddy today..

"papa, I didn't get 100 for my chem test"...........

Failed plan.

And that tooth just had to break when I was mixing the dough!

Ok, I am really burning -_-

It was like a very difficult decision to make: to stop baking or not to
Nvm, it was just so hard.
But I still continued.
Waha, put my skills to the test xD
I should think the product came out unexpectedly fine ((:

Yay happy birthday to you DY! We scored the exact same marks for chem --> on a side note xD

tags; stupid Daim, stupid kristyn

bingeing on work, then bingeing on pleasure

tags; more to come

whatever you do, you have yourself

tags; ???

trust me, they look much cuter in reality ((:

Tags; 三个宝贝

Am I like..

strong strong strong

strong strong weak

strong weak strong

or

strong weak weak?

Well, I guess independence is a good thing.
But over-reliance on independence may not be as positive, right?
Hmm, let's discuss.

i.e. the points FOR and AGAINST this.
Okay, enough of GP. Hee.
DY was stuffing me with points just now.. cheems o_o
And now, I'm finally impressed with how focused I can be.
I used to think it was like the norm,
but after studying with JY and DY, it seems like this rigid ability to concentrate is a gift.

whee(:

Back to independence,

being too independent may actually create an intangible barrier between yourself and others o_o

And one observation,

Guys don't think when it comes to presents.

*sian* o_o

Hah, it's either soft toys/phone accessories for girls.

What IS your problem boys??

Tags; I'd have to use it because I see you almost every day

enervated



tags; friday will be a better day

Why does it feel so different?

Is it me or is it them?

well, unquestionable that it takes 2 hands to clap in a relationship (of any kind)

Tags; comfort for kristyn

i'm not

i'm not

i'm not

going to return to the past me

i shall keep this alive, for as long as possible

tags; circle

stress is supposed to be a foreign concept

well, at least I want it to be to me

t h i n k l o n g t e r m t h i n k l o n g t e r m g i r l

what has society turned me into? x_x
Or rather, is it our education system, my parents' wishes or solely expectations of myself?
this sucks real bad. Lol.

Why is it that I am unable to tolerate a small amount of incompetence..
when I don't even care about being at the top or just high high high up there?

In the long run, how I envision myself to be is really very achievable
yet I'm pathetically struggling with excellence in all aspects now.

when?
Just when will I be able to completely settle for the inadequacies, without the guilt??

Hmm, I don't know.
Maybe because the long term impact can never be felt now.
The short term effects instead, are intense.

Sometimes, I really envy my bro.
How he can be so relaxed, and not tied down by the need to do well..
Well, his sis sure has a lot to learn (:

Tags; b a l a n c e

why is "memorable" frequently associated with "extravagance"?

Tags; A birthday to remember

sometimes I wonder if a screw in me has come loose

occasionally, the feeling that the sky's gonna fall on me anytime now can really be so immense;

it's like that very strand of DNA which codes my sanity is thinning

*snap*

I bet you it will if I continue contemplating the 'what ifs'

what if I don't meet up to expectations anymore?

My own expectations, and of course my parents'. It's really not about lowering the expectations. It's about rebelling against myself lol.

Yeah, resisting the rebel in me just drains my being. Ah well, be glad it comes only once in a while xD

what if I tell my parents I'm very stressed and I don't wanna study anymore, that I just want a hug from 'em?

Hah, I could easily do that and then be free from chemistry! It has been chem the whole week.
Well, telling myself taking h3 chem purely for the sake of interest clearly isn't helping in any way. Still, realising how stupid and careless I was just takes a further toll on me. Then again, 'learn from your mistakes' - how to when sometimes, all you get is one opportunity and that's it?

When I fail to adhere to my organiser, guilt sets in.

And this means, I had never not done anything planned out in my organiser (thanks a lot jy for that organiser) That said, completing every single task laid out for myself, by myself, always seems so satisfying despite many other opp costs involved.

When I don't meet up to expectations, guilt sets in.

And this usually means that regardless of how much I have to sacrifice, I'd make sure I'm there. Like.. there THERE. Doing whatever it takes - and this may not be that positive. Irreversible damages are often inevitable - white hair (more of 'em) & darker eye circles

Oh, now that I think of brain cells..
I wonder
Do my brain cells like die .. die?
Or do they burst with info overload, then die?
Or maybe they expand beyond their limits (with more info) and then die a complete cell?
Perhaps, they expand to their limits, and then all the info vanishes, and then they shrink and shrivel and then DIE.

Tags; s h e ' s n o t m a k i n g s e n s e

Lacking emotional response

Tags; with an unusually nonchalant attitude

Well, the evening took an ugly turn.

Darren pissed mom and dad off again.. his 3rd time.

It was really bad. Papa was like.. really more than just on fire x_x
And I had to help collect the hot water, or mom's backache will worsen.

The whole atmosphere was really horrid. It's like family time gone bad. Real bad.

I know he didn't mean to.
But his self-centeredness sometimes can really have a ripple effect.
On the maid.
She got scolded.. for ''failing to check the bathroom/hear the water dripping''
Sad ):

Good luck to me for the tests this week.
I need to push more arrows!!! I suck big time..why can't I see it?!?!?!?!
Like ..GOSH .. Ok. Some practicality needed.
Let's see if having that bit of confidence in arrow pushing will see me through the week.
*Prays*

Tags; Chemistry

I felt warmth hearing "but you are a girl" from a guy.

Despite that, I'm still an individual.

W/o disabilities.

I have arms and legs and I don't really see any problem with using them to move dozens of chairs and tables.

Hmm.. Gender and the associated stereotypes.

Albeit it's (really) nice when guys help the girls move bulky stuff (:
Gentlemanly.

Nonetheless, this has got me thinking.
I wrote my second essay on gender yesterday - an impending disaster *shudders*

Hah.

Stereotypes - I don't wish for them to be eradicated.
Nope I don't.
They make life more interesting, with the controversies and all.
Besides, I doubt such judgements will ever be eliminated either yay

At least I know the majority of girls do dumb themselves down in front of their more egoistic male counterparts.

Plus, it's good that both sexes are not the most equalized.

I'd rather die than complete my 2.4 under 10 mins
x_x!

Tags; chair moving chairs + tables

I don't care if my friend emos.

Like.. what the hell.

It's because I can't even take control over my emotions, so how am I even going to take care of how others feel?

hahahahahahahaha.. *tries to crack myself up*

That aside, the weather pisses me off.

s t u p i d n o n - l i v i n g t h i n g

It makes me lose focus, even when I try to mug at night. Like MATH. It's the easiest to do math anytime, anywhere. But I completely couldn't concentrate earlier.

WHAT IS MY DAMN PROBLEM?!

Maybe the cloudy eyes.. oh no. No excuses for you girl.

Well well, enough of crap.

Ms Ang - our 4th GP teacher (she's only taking us for 3 wks).
She's a cool dudette. Hah. She analysed our personalities today based on our handwriting (:

It feels very weird to have someone tell you what you are, when you're supposed to be the one who knows all about you.

kristyn is..

1) impatient
2) very focused and controlled i.e. rather restricted (i would say disciplined)
3) very definite (I make an effort to be decisive because I can be quite intolerant of indecisiveness - esp the boys)
4) straightforward - unlikely to pretend if I like/dislike something
5) a mix of an introvert and extrovert
6) In b/w living in the present and future (still trying to understand this)
7) doesn't like to be (easily) read by people (heck the grammar)

Tags; spam mailS from tan pinhong

Totally unrelated, but I just realised my elder bro was nice to me this V day.

The only time he has been nice to his sis (:

yay

Tags; love + love + more love

laughed through it
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
my most significant Valentine's ever.
I'll remember, I will.

Tags; a lot a lot of rest

Too sweet a Friday the thirteenth

Tags; Chocolates

Tags; I drew

I don't like it when the sky groans at night

It's intimidating

But it has been making a lot of noises the past week

w h y ?

The bad thing is that these noises make me feel very insecure
(I don't close the windows so if it rains I G_G)

It really sounds like fireworks.. Maybe the first day felt like fireworks were being blasted

But the next few days.. abit the impossible right? How can they be lighting fireworks which seem to last forever >_>

I wonder what is wrong

Seems freaky, but not as much as scary

No worries though - kristyn's a brave girl (:

Tags; purple orange sky

Always a beginning to everything

so

be prepared for an end to all those things

Tags; Non-specific (:

tendency to use short forms in negative modes

tags; another thing about me

Tags; misc

Freaky friday

Let's not mention what happened on the way to pasir ris park this morning - now I feel awfully blessed

O'nite 2009 was horrid.

why?

Because I chose for it to be this way
It really blinded me from all the really fun and hyper stuff I did today (grr)

Flew a kite (yay)
+
Bridged
+
Had quality photog bonding time (or so I believed but yays anyway)

kristyn covered O'nite super mega ultra reluctantly and half-heartedness really didn't get me anywhere with the photo-taking. I was pissed with the prosumer. Ugh >_> & I just wanted to get home so badly. Thankfully, 167 took only 2omins to reach home plus the random 'emo' music from shuffle mode helped (:

kristyn really really didn't want to cover orientation.
But why did she go? She could have said no. (gosh it's super rhyme-y)

Besides accounting to myself, there were others (esp those I respect) whom I needed to account to as well.

In the end, the mega hot water bath I took helped soothe the negativity & the photog bonding time (after conducting CBA) offsets the indignance felt towards the unwillingness and compulsion due to accountability (though the blistered toes stay e-e-e)

CHEERS ((:

Tags; accountability

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL ER! =D

love you always yeah <33

*pictures may be up soon

Tags; fish & co.

sharing your orientation experience
+
a bite of your potong

Thanks bro (:

Tags; lovesssss

Well, today didn't go too bad afterall.

Oh right, the previous post was on impulse (: Now I rmb what I wanted to share today.
Hah, I've kinda realised that the 6hrs of school today exceeded the amount of sleep I got from yesterday night. Cool huh?

Gosh, random sms-es plus ..gosh you should really ought to see the look I have on my damn face now. LOL. The ''boh pian'' look & the ''wanna say but nothing comes out of your mouth'' feeling.

What can I do about these??
IsB save me!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, how many times do I need to experience this?
It's really like slapping me in the face and then saying sorry.
Haven't I had enough?
Friends and family alike
I really don't enjoy having given a possibility and then having that glimmer dashed by the same person.
Someone I really really love (daddy).
Well, since it's not the first, I should really try to get used to it huh? Besides, it's really something very minor. But even the slightest bit could inflict pain.
Hmm.. & kristyn chants: let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go......

Oh, another thing about me:

I don't like the capital K

Hah

Tags; happy orientation bro!

I only have 3 words today:

what the fish

Tags; too many things

Damn what is wrong with me?

How come I don't feel sleepy?
How come I had the mood to complete 2hrs worth of tutorials after my news?

this is not supposed to happen ):

I'm really gonna die tmr - 6hrs straight w/o any breaks.
But I've prepared coffee tmr in the smallest water bottle ever. Waha.. Though I doubt I'll feel tired tmr.. Based on my intuition xD
Alright, I'm really getting paranoid over the lack of time this week when I've realised I actually have time to complete the more important stuff... o_o

Must be the additional 3 econs essays from Mr Fok.
And Miss Salina gave me the ''you better do the last two parts of your case study or i'll gg-fy you'' look during econs today... That freaked me out. Plus Chem H3! Gosh, I couldn't really follow today. The fact that the tutorial had only 5 questions made everything worse.

O-K-A-Y

My life doesn't only revolve around school and work alright?
During GP and the few lectures today, my mind momentarily drifted to Valentine's.
How am I going to find time to bake? x_x
Ahhh... Just have to plan my time well next week (:
And it just feels awfully wrong to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
*Needs IsB!*

(I'm gonna tag something really random)

Tags; Freedom without accountability

Oh! And I forgot to post 5 things about myself:

a) I like to walk behind my didi when we're out (So I don't have to open doors for myself xD)
b) I am especially nice to people I don't normally care about when I'm deep in thought/reflecting
c) My best friend in mom's office is the hand dryer
d) I grow my nails because they make me appear more feminine. Or so that is how I see it (:
e) I wear T-shirts out when I'm feeling insecure (Don't ask me why I feel insecure - it may be attributed to several reasons)

Tags; Random

Fig. 1: badly squashed macarons

Lol. That was what cracked us up at dinner today.
My bro totally forgot his friend gave him these for FREE! (she works at bakerzin)
Ah well, so my mom happily placed her ultra super duper heavy handbag on his bag, and this is the product. Well, Daddy still enjoyed eating them.
E-E-K.

Well, I woke up feeling really freaking !"@#$#!@&* today too, coz my mum was in the bathroom so I can't wash up. But yeah, I kept telling myself to NOT be so wilful and childish, and uh..I guess that kinda worked? I broke out of my emo-ness in the evening! Hah, but seriously, I've kinda just realised (again) how I've wasted my entire day emo-ing when there's really many things to cheer about:

1) I've half-conquered VECTORS!
2) I've completed the photog keychains! Started making them yesterday.
3) There was no tuition today! (but this means 3 additional FULL LEngTH essays to keep me company on Fri&SAt)
4) ICE CREAM AT U.d.d.e.r.s!!

OMG.. I tried the Mao Shan Wang Durian flavour today..and of course, I had to let my family taste the Orange Bittersweet Chocolate. Woah was tht delicious! The durian didn't really appeal to me though =x Second time there, & it was just awesome! The ice cream is really affordable, when you compare it with the other more expensive brands. And it's really just so very different. I love the texture! Shall bring everyone there some day! WHEE!!! No pics though.. I was busy writing my name on the wall (they had surfaces specially pinned up for writing) and by the time I returned to that small bowl, the 2 scoops were almost gone. Well, y-u-m-m-y <3

Tags; don't waste your life

#Now that my dear friend has resolved her problems, I bet she's feeling much better and of course, relieved (:

#Everything has been cleared up. I don't like things to drag, especially when these things are the things which appear so uncertain.

#You can never say for sure how your day will end. Hyper-ness during the day may not let your joy live through the night. You just need that very trigger to ruin your entire day. Catalyst? Brothers. Well.. I'll never know till the very last second of my 31st Jan 'o9.

#I should really stop relying on others & of course food for anymore comfort.
Time to wake up and be more independent girl! But I really want a pat on the head. Let's make that 'wanted' instead.

Tags; You may be that very trigger for the hyper/emo mode

An audience motivates creation

That was why dear blog was sooo inactive for one period, right dear blog?
Ah wells.. Shall continue some other day. Gtg shower x_x

Tags; Was splashed with conc. sulphuric acid the whole evening

Being selfishly selfless

that was what she taught me - the hard way.
Well of course there's also the influence of TV shows -_-
Babe, maybe this is the work of impulse
Instead of jumping straight into it, why not just wait?
Be a patient girl (: (LIKE ME!! xD)

And yes, even JY agreed that:

feelings do fade

r/s do deteriorate

bonds do weaken

all over time o_o

Heck that. I met ISB today!!!!!
Like my love my love my love my love my love to infinity! xD
I ran towards the tennis court in HCI, and I saw ISB running towards me! Hah like an auntie =x with her hair all tied back.
And I must have appeared super nerdy (in my dear specs) in my jacket and backpack running towards her too xD
Hah

Tags; happy happy happy day. kristyn is a happy girl (:

Babe, so what if you're honest & true to yourself?


Have you ever thought that this might not be the best you want for him? Yourself included.


While deception on your part may evoke guilt,

and as much as it feels terribly awful to deceive yourself,

have you contemplated that this may actually be a better option?


It is inherent for you to think like a consequentialist

and you have to accept this alright..?

Alongside the belief that whatever that is meant to be will be,

given any amount of time (:


Tags; she's not a risk taker

... Luckily, while under all this duress, your love life is moving ahead swimmingly. You have found someone (or he or she has discovered you) on whom you can depend to defend and protect you without bossing or tyrannizing. Hang on to this person. You need security in order to carry on your actively inventive existence.

The last 3 words crack me up. LoL.

#Don't expect me to believe this piece of analysis though (:

although the earlier part about the year of the Ox (it's going to be real tough & this year is all about getting straight As) is true x_x

Tags; Your sign is Goat

cont...

Here's my DIDI! Waha, my classmate laughs at me for calling him didi because bro's so big alr. But still!

Oh & He grew taller o_o But once I'm on my heels, he doesn't feel as tall. Whee.

Mommy & I!!!! Mom looks so girlish here xD And she's gonna put this pic up on her facebk. Lol. We were so in pink and white today o_o

And of course KNEO! I like this picture because... It has err..a fairly good contrast? I don't know which term to use but the sun loves me *glows*

Tags; Photo spam

Yeah! PIcturesSs. Here's my bro and my nephew (left). We're actually playing some card game - something like taboo and pictionary combined. But this time, we guess stuff like: who's the princess who ate the poisoned apple? Ah well, I had to entertain them and forgo blackjack ):

But they're always more impt. Hee.

Terry & Sandie (They're just like my di & I - quarrel a lot when we were younger. Actually, we still do now =x)

Their BABY BROTHER! Danny (:

Nard requests that I take a picture of him all dressed up.

我不喜欢无规矩的进展

It pisses me off. Hah.

On another note, I wake up at random timings FC (:

Oh and I'm still figuring out where on earth did I place my cold wear
&
what 成语s to use later to wish the elders

Tags; random

This dream;

I freaked out, honestly.
&
I felt very uncomfortable then.

But when it did occur in reality, it wasn't like what I had felt.. but I wasn't too pleased. Not with myself.

It should not be this way, no.

So let's take one step at a time & see if it'll gradually disintegrate.
Do I really wish for this dream to realise?
Tags; That dream

Came across a rather interesting article earlier (The Sunday times)

While the guys go mostly for appearance in the females,

Ladies opt for the social status of the opposite gender instead.

(Here, econs may be a lil' related - CBA or cost-benefit analysis)

As mentioned, males link beauty to women's fertility & hence child-bearing.

Whereas for the girls, social status reflects her potential partner's ability to support the family in the future.

*On a side note, guys also look out for girls who are kind and caring.

I guess that may be true to a certain extent?

Tags; t3h love doctor

Yes, today has been rather eventful.

And I've realised and confirmed something:
I spend my money as soon as I draw it out of the machine.

Darn, I drew out 2o bucks yesterday..And what happened?
Spent some on food, but that's ok.
Today, I bought sweets (x2) and an uber cute turtle. Gosh I just couldn't resist xD
Yeah, that's where my $$ goes & I shouldn't complain.

It's rare that money can actually buy that inch of happiness, so I shall be thankful (:

And yes, speaking of my childhood.
It feels good (& silly) to reminisce about the past, especially the first few years of my life at PITPIT ROAD! damn cute lah the road name xD

Those were the days where coussie and I were still really close.

Those were the times my aunt and coussies came over for dinner.
&
Those were the years when my ah ma fed me and patted me to sleep.

And I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before;

I literally hid in the fridge when I was about 5 or 6 years

It's super funny.
But yeah, predictably, I still rmb myself arranging the things in the fridge to make way for my little (or not so little) frame then. Then I closed myself in - why? I was snacking on something, I can't rmb what exactly. But it's definitely either chocolate or candy. Hah. My maid got sooooo worried when she couldn't find me. But in the end, I think she was the one who interrupted my glut. Lol. I'm bad at hide & seek.

Tags; Childhood

woodlands damn happening seh

Man found dead and a shop was robbed

Ok, enough of depressing news.

For the past week, I think my system is getting adapted to 6hrs of sleep and that isn't very nice
because
I found myself automatically awake after 4+ hrs of sleep today &
I pray it doesn't get worse.
Luckily there's CNY, so from today onwards, I shall try to sleep at my usual sch bedtime - 2200

(Aihs, 22 is such a lovely number)

But yeah, I can't believe I used to switch my brain off at ten! Remarkable, but
I AM GETTING INFLUENCED BY PEOPLE WHO SLEEP LATE,
hence the shorter hrs of rest.

Oh, HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERYONE (:

Tags; languor