Emotionally drained.

Mentally taxing.

Physically exhausted.

All apparent symptoms of being unable to achieve something you desire.

In this case, the song.

Sad huh?

Yeah, you bet.

SP somewhere within the months.

You know, I always tell myself, if you cared, you would have taken the initiative to actually find all those SPs hidden in this blog. But it was never really realised.

And dreams shall remain virtual. They never will happen in reality.

If you understand. If you had been attentive. You'll realise it for me.

Only then will I believe: Dreams do come true.

I shan't deny the absence of that tiny bit of. jealousy sometimes. =X

Lols. Funny NTUC guy in the bus earlier. Is he kaypoh or plain concerned? Of did he just want to be a Mr Nice guy [MNG] ? Ha. Anyway, it was thoughtful of him either way.

*taps me on the shoulder*

MNG: Eh... your bag wet already.
Me: Owh. Ha.. It's ok. Thank you.

*thinks: Ha.. My bag is water resistant dude. Lols. Thx anyway.*

how screwed.

many turns on the screw and it's not screwed in yet. Half way or maybe not even there.

domino effect. it's taking a turn for the worst. i know. only the person screwing it in gets to decide.

it's difficult to do it alone. support. from friends aint enough. but i still appreciate it. thx van. thx bella. <33333

tears just get dried and down into the bin with the tissue. Ha. must have freaked bella out with the tears.

only myself to blame. for not reading the damned paper carefully. in a hurry? or plainly distracted? or.. plain stupid? the 1st and 3rd options work for me.

NVM.

WHAT IS SUCCESS WITHOUT FAILURE? NOT HAVING TASTED THE BITTERNESS OF FAILURE WILL NEVER BRING YOU THE JOY OF SUCCESS. STRIVE ON GIRL!

ok.

Nothing really matters now eh?

The answer is of utmost unimportance.

A new hole has been created.
Waiting to be mended.

Seriously, If you care too much, the deeper will the wound be. How ironic. Sure.
This is just one of the darker moments.

I thought through last night. Thinking of whether I should fake it.
But.. It all depends on the circumstances.
And I did say.
Wanted to see if you'd defend your friend and misplace the trust I had in you.
Well well.. Things didn't really go the way I had planned.
Of course. If they did, my parents would have won toto.

I know I had pissed you off. I'm sorry. I just had to know. But knowing more will leave
a greater gash.
Ignorance is bliss.

I never knew the trust you people had in me was that fragile. How upsetting. HAHA.

I looked forward to today. 28o7o7. But it turned out to be a half-nightmare. Gosh.. Now the inferiority complex sets in on me again. I wonder when was the last I truly seriously thought I was freakin'.. ugly. Gosh. I even fear having to speak that word. My whole world .. okaye. Perhaps 99%. Came crashing down on me. I was literally black today. Damn I suck.

Fortunately Anh's pics came. Thx gurl. <33

How I wish you could be right by my side this moment..

Wishful thinking.

Ah wells. Talking about absolute value. I still don't get the whole picture of relative velocity clearly. Still blurred. AHH!! I'll work it out some day I guess.. Hopefully before the prelims. X_X
Prelims are like..in..3 weeks?! 3 darn weeks. And one week passes by soooo darn fast. DUDE! Gosh. And guess what?
,
,,
,,,
,,,,
,,,,,
,,,,,,
,,,,,,,
,,,,,,
,,,,,
,,,,
,,,
,,
,
Can't guess eh?
HAHAHAHAHA -_-
Anyways, Phy paper one and two are on my birthday! What luck eh? Yeah. And I'm still contemplating whether I should ask Mr Chan to be lenient with my marking coz I was born on that very day 16 years ago. Gosh no! FAIRNESS! Yeah. Since the govt. practises that, I should to. (=

GOD GOD GOSH! I haven't studied the whole syllabus for all the subjects! Arghssssss! None of us have either! X_X!!! I'm so worried, afraid and stressed! And I know none of them is of any help to me now so I'm blogging in a bid to relieve some stress. Blasting the music as usual. I am so in the prelim kinda mood now. T___________T AHs. But I'm still enjoying I guess. I'll be going Katong tmr! =D Ahs.

Time is slipping so fast out of my hands.
And if anyone has any method of preserving time, I'm willing to exchange 99% of my life for it.
The other 1%, I'll need to go back to history to correct a few mistakes.
Gosh.. Weeks are passing by like nobody's business.
I had no time..ok fine. LITTLE time to go online, let alone blog. Actually, I wasn't exactly in the mood to blog either.
Fireworks. I think they're gonna look black for me this year.

Don't luan luan xiang hor. It's never too good to xiang wai de. Tsk.
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I seriously hope my dad is mistress-free.

Sigh.

How I wish you can just grab my hand and never let go; prompt-free.
Read my words.

Today went delightfully! =D
IJ celebrated Racial Harmony Day today! I went to school and felt sooooo envious of classmates who were wearing their ethnic costumes. Sigh.. Then. Something really impromptu happened. Kathleen lent me her sari. WAHA! How happy could I get? XD Had to borrow her shirt and sari and bangles + Rachel's shorts. Hahs. Had a really fun time chilling out with games in the hall.
Waiting for Anh to send me her pics. =D

;I'm the happiest girl on earth today! =]
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I cannot control what others do or say. The only thing I can possibly control .. is my reaction towards the actions of others. I'd rather remain indifferent than unhappy.

Okaye. Wanted to get the laces before saturday so I could give it to you. But sighsssss.. No time. Didn't even knew where to get it. Nobody seemed to know where to get it. So I had to try my luck at XxxxxxxxXxxxx.
TADA! Found it. Better late than never. =]

I like the texture of it. Felt nice. LOLs. Compared to the other one. Hope it's thick enough.
Okaye.

Woke up quite early today. Around 6 I guess. Coz it was too cold -_-...
Then.. Went to the market with mummy at 7. Fun. So cool. So many people. [Eh Eh...Not my first time to the market hor..]

The things there..are good. And the pork smelled delicious! Hahs. Then went to NtUC after lunch at pizza hut. I still prefer the original pizza. Hawaiian. =D Later.. went to visit ah ma. Then brought her to Giant. Big huge giant. Crowded as usual. Then it rained! Ooh la la. Ah wells.. Had fun with ah ma. =D <3333333

Sorry for being such an ass yesterday.. ok... ALL the time.
I don't know what's up with the mood swings and all.
Haih.. bad bad bad me.
It was really bad yesterday. I started to think.. Can we really live like this? Unable to accommodate to each other's feelings? I don't know.. It's me most of the time I guess..
Being so unreasonable and.. insensitive..and.. inconsiderate..and.. complaining... and dissatisfied... and discontented.
BAD BAD BAD.

I tried to shout and stuff.
Msg wasn't put across.
So be it..
Urghhh.

I don't like one word/alphabet replies.
The minor anxiety felt may be one reason.
And the apathy another.

Today's Amath test went very smoothly at first. Then when I compared my results with my friends at the end of the test, I found out I didn't check my work as thoroughly as I thought I had. I had to let it go. Wasted 2 marks just like this. Maybe because I spent the last 10-15 mins recalling my speech. Still. No excuse dude! Damn. I can't believe my carelessness is taking a toll on me again. Sigh.. It wasn't like this.. It used to be though..but I though I had made my way up to the ''cautious'' category. Double sigh. Looks like I've got to really push myself somemore.

Well..On the brighter side of today. My speech went well. Think my nervousness made me cry. But I felt much much better after those toxins left me through my eys. Hahs.. I'l glad it's over though. I've got a B! Which means band 2 = very good.

Coz C means good. And A means Excellent! So yeah. I'm proud I made it to a B. (:

There's always a gain to make up for the loss. ((:
1Plus and 1minus make everything neutral. Balanced.

Okaye. So we had chicken BRIYANI today. Not some what rice rice thing hor. -.-...

Tuition was quite fun. Hellols.

I seriously need a new purse coz this present one seems to be falling apart.

Tmr's a long long day without lunch as usual. A math lesson from 2.30-4.30. RELATIVE VELOCITY. X_X!

Bought 2 kiap kiaps [hair clips] yesterday. One for a dollar. I know it wasn't worth the cash. But I bought it anyway. Besides, how often do I buy such stuff? >_>

And I tend to jump from one point to another. Blah. My mind's not very organised after a day at sch.

What else..Hmms..Nothing much. I love my dp!! T_T No heart no pain. How very true.
The absence of the heart = the absence of the soul + feelings = no emotions felt = no surfacing of anger, violence and pain etc.. = lifeless. .__.
Pain. It's good. Anything which doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. (: I like pain. Hurt. Suffering. It means someone else out there is happier. Relishing over his possesions perhaps.

When I saw you leave, the expression you gave me was..
that of being unable to let go..
I could like..see solid tears in your eyes.
I wanted so much to hug you but I couldn't. Not in public. Hahs. Not when we're just friends actually.
Well, there's still the phone and the internet. (:

VECTORS ARE DIFFICULT! RELATIVE VELOCITY SPECIFICALLY.
X_X I SUCKKKKKKKKKK. Sigh.. Sometimes I get it. Sometimes I don't.
Transformers was excellent! Better than batman, spiderman123 and the other men. d.__.b
Been really busy too blog.
Sorry if I take a long long time to reply your sms sometimes. I was busy. X_X! Gomene. And I don't like to check my phone when I'm in the middle of work. So yeah. Unless I can hear the vibration. ._.
Hehs.. Nothing much happened.
Yeah. Nothing much..

BYEBYE!

Sorry for saying that if I were pissed, I'll just say bye and it's better for us.
But what I meant was very literal. As in, try to hang up and you can play ur game. I can go sleep or go do other things. Yeah. Better for us wad.. lols.

But don't you ever get bored talking to me? If you aint playing? Hmm..

And yeah.. I'll try to look from your point of view more often. I've been neglecting your opinion I know. I'm just too selfish. Sigh.. But do go ahead if you wanna play or anything yeah. I won't say a thing. But don't play all the time.

Don't curse me neh. I won't fall lohs..so suay mehs? =p

The loneliest thing that can every happen to you is not when you're alone in a pool of strangers..

It's when you're with a bunch of good friends and no one's talking to you. [People whom you don't talk to often aint that bad.]

Another lonesome thing is when there's nothing but silence shrouding the distance between a preoccupied person and another individual. Coincidentally, this distance is the furthest distance ever for the latter.


Main Entry: alone
Synonyms: abandoned/apart/companionless/deserted/desolate/detached/forlorn/forsaken/
friendless/isolated/lone/lonely

It's just a matter of adaptation isn't it?

Seriously, I wonder why I've been sighing so much lately.
Is it because of mummy's dislike for you?
Is it because I'm suffering from the post-shopping withdrawal symptoms?
Is it because of the stress and the worry of being unable to complete all the exercise books I've bought?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I have no idea. >_>

Maybe it's a combination of all 3. Yeah perhaps. Real sorry if I've been so..temperamental lately. Sigh.. Hmm..Sad sad sad. I don't wanna live like this. Like a time bomb which goes off every hour! X_X!! UGH!!

Heck. The only possible solution now.. is to stop thinking abt all these. And focus on fighting more with younger bro. XD
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The best way to make it through is to listen to your heart.

In life, we have to make difficult decisions. We're afraid that whatever choice we make will upset someone we love.

It is at this time that we need to stop and listen to the voice inside us. If we only listen to the wishes of those around us and ignore our own feelings, we will not be truly happy.

Listen to what you know is right and stand by that because when you do, you will be happy.

Found this in Aman's hse. It's true. Although initially, I didn't agree with the 3rd para. Listening to the wishes of those around us and working hard to achieve them can make us happy too.. No? It's part of the fight to make the ones you love happy. To find happiness in making people you love happy is not wrong either.