WHAT A FREAKING BAD DAY TODAY.
HORRIBLE CRAPPY FREAK S*** DAY.
If only I hadn't cared..
If only..

Kae. Enough of tht.
Went out alone. Took 171 which lasted about 2 hrs to marina square.
I did't know where it was to go.
But then..i saw everyone alight opposite marina square..I did the same.
then the bus left.. Empty.
Went to mini toons to buy my gummy.
I queued on the right..coz just now pple were queueing from tht side.
Then..other people went to queue on the left.
Made me feel so odd one out.
then..I was there first.. They cut the queue.
Ok loh..I gave in..But it was very awkward..I had to pretend to check my phone for something supposedly very impt and leave the freak queue and re-queue.
then.. when i was paying..
The cashier person..gave me tht kind of..outcast look.
As if I was alien.
Fine.
So crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God... Well..Just when I'm feeling so down. All those had to happen.
It's always like tht.
And..my eyesight worsens too.
right.. I banged into the wall just now. When it's like freaking huge, i actually banged into it.

Be prepared for a bruise girl.

How dumb can I possibly get.
Or perhaps I'm just too horizontally challenged.

I'M GOING CHOCO CRAZY !! X_x
I'VE BEEN STUFFING MYSELF WITH CHOCOS SINCE YESTERDAY.
SIGH..
THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW DEPRIVED I WAS OF CHOCOLATE.
T_T...
SAD..TIME TO STOP AND CHANGE MY TARGET.
GUMMIES!!
WAHA.
I'M GONNA GET MY OWN GUMMIES SOON I HOPE..
SIAN..STAY AT HOME TODAY AGAIN.
JUST COZ U DON'T LET ME HANG OUT WITH VIS KOR. ):
SPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSP.
FINE LOH.
I'LL SEE WHERE I CAN GO ALONE.
A-L-O-N-E-! >_>

Woke up feeling freaking warm everywhere.
The bed feels hot too.
Nose's still blocked.
Maybe coz i skipped one dosage of flu med yesterday. =x
Ah wells.
My legs feel weak.
I still feel there's phglem stuck within me..
I still don't feel ok.
Still heaty I suppose.
I want mini toons gummy T_______________T
.... >_<....
Sigh..Sian..SIAN!!
I hope it's not some freak fever.
Damn. >_>
On off kind.
Stupidddd!!!!!!!
Leg muscles feel..crampish.
Blah..!!!!!!!!!
So...DUMB.
Okaye great. I just managed to spit out some more phglem. =x
Sorry if it sounds disgusting. x_x

Today... i found out;
SOMEONE OPENED MY MINT M&Ms... T_T
MUMMY BROKE THE CAPSULE HP STRAP I GAVE HER..T_T...
WHY SO SUAY TODAY...
T_____________T

Now..waiting for those 2 pigs to wake up.
So dumb.
later late then they know seh.
>_>!!

LALA!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!
MY X'MAS WISHES CAME TRUE =D
MUMMY BOUGHT ME THE PERFECT DENIM SKIRT.
LIL BRO AND PAPA BOUGHT ME MY BLING BLING!! =D
OLDER BRO BOUGHT ME THIS FREAKING UNDER SIZED BLOUSE!
AH WELLS. AND IT'S BROWN -.-
PIF PIF.
THEN YOU GOT ME THE SAME OLD THING AGAIN. -_-
WASTE $$.
NOT INNOVATIVE.
HMPH =P
COUSIN BOUGHT ME THIS PRECIOUS THOUGHTS NOTE PAD WITH THE HOLDER.
AND COUSIN2 BOUGHT ME THE P.T. KEY RING.
WHEE LALA.
THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW THEY DIDN'T REALLY SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING OF THE PERFECT GIFT FOR ME.
HAHS. WELL. FROM MY PERSPECTIVE THAT IS.
LALA.
OOPS.
ANYHOW.
THANKS FOR ALL THE PRESENTS =D
<3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
TILL THE END OF TIME~

Aihss.
FREAK!!
I'll be spending Christmas eve at home.
Rotten and ill.
With a bad nose
a crap voice
and loads of phglem stuck inside me.
I took bitter!! med for running nose yesterday.
2 tabs which didn't work.
darnn!
Ah... tht was prescribed to me by my dad.
Today.
I prescribed myself a panadol.
hee.
Sort of worked ba.
Forehead not feeling as hot le.
And i'm starting to sweat =D
NOw i know wht's wrong with me
HEaty!!
EEEEKKK.
Damn.
Wht a way to spend my Xmas eve.
With freaking hot weather.
But strong wind occasionally.
Trying to cough my phglem out.
But wht I get is just a more hurting throat.
Freakk!!
My breathing is noisy and difficult with the freaking mucus-cum-phglem.
T_T..umm..or however you type it.
Hmms.

Came back...The whole fridge was stuffed!
With..chocolates.
Mum bought mint M&Ms for me T_T
Cookies..Brownies..
Sweets..
All filling the fridge..
Still cannot eat... T_T
OPen the fridge..WAnna eat the choc..also cannot..
What a life.
Food is in front of a hungry man yet he cannot eat it.
Stupid seh...
Only..plum and apple. And porridge for a sick idiot like me.
Soupy, hot stuff plus water are all i get.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH T_T

Right.
Went out yesterday.
The Golden Compass was a nice movie.
Better than the recent harry potter i'd say.
o_ob

Gosh... This unofficial r/s is taking it's toll on me.
GaaaHH.
I'm not supposed to do things I'm not supposed to do.
But.. I can't live up to that.
Sorry. T_T
To my parents , to you.
Pardon my wilfulness sometimes.
Or rather, most of the times.
But i won't go further than the occasional hug and holding hands.
i promise.

You, OP, must help me too okk!
AIsh..
another 2 years.
2 years. We've gone through one.
Another 2 should be easier.

So.. no TT anymore!!

Ughs.
My cookies failed again.
Not up to my expectations.
DArn... I'd rather make tang yuan for the guild.
But I doubt they'd appreciate it. >_>
Heh.
O2jam still lags!! Damn. AC server too!!
Stupid com.
bluhh.

Hmmsss... Today went out with pig. =x
ah wells.
Finally completed my christmas shopping!!
Cousins, parents, siblings and dear you!
La la.
Maid..see got nice thing then buy ba.
But..I still feel.. the presents are not enough.
Need a photo frame for daddy to complete it.
and something else for mummy too!
Eek..Zhen fan nao. x____x
Hmmms..Okaye loh. I know you know I was drinking a lot of vinegar at tht shop.
Well. Let's call it the custom-made shop. Blahhs.
Come to think of it, you didn't even get me a birthday present. ):!
ahhhhhhh. Forget it loh.
Sad..
T_T....
okok.. enough girl! enough!
Orh...

that's about it ba.. Wanna take neoprint but then.. No nice machines.
It has been a while since i've taken np. But still... Hp take also ok lah.
No need to waste $$ also.
HEE.
Hmms.. anything else?
Nothing I guess.

Eh pig, you'd better take care of your throat and uh..throat!
Cya blog!

Hmms...
Now i find u're not as giving in to me as compared with the past.
Good and bad thing I suppose.
But still.. Sometimes, pretty annoying when you start the [i'm stupid] thing again.
So just stop tht kae.
I really don't know wht else to say..
But I feel you're getting sick of me. LOL.
When u sound just so pissed and fierce even.
Sighs..
Ah wells.

Let the crying be solely for females.

Eeeeky.
KL...kl ... KL.... Aiseh.
又带着遗憾离开..
T_T...
Sad. 2 people whom I wanted to meet so badly.. EEEEEE.
Ah wells.
Nvm. -_-
Only bought like..one pair of socks and a dress in KL
coz most of the time I was playing and window shopping.
Cousin bought like..dunno how many pairs of stockings..
a pair of jeans, skirt, and many more.
See her shop can faint.
Lucky cousin 2nd was with me.
Kae. So I shared a room with him.
He's darn farnee loh.
Hah.. AT least he allowed me to play his psp once.
=x..heh...
Then I had to continue teasing him to make him less shy. -_-
Ah wells.. guys. *pui*... x_x
HEe.... Wht else?..
Gonna meet Isb later for lunch.
Hope it won't be awkward. We'll have loads to gossip. *crosses fingers*
Blahs.
Today.
I don't like today.
It's..too..










































































SUNNY.

OH SEH! MY DEAR BLOGGGG.
Hmmms....
Double hmmms...
It's freaking boring at home.
No friends to hang out with me.
Havent tried though.
Don't intend to anyway. =x
Out with them, also nothing much to really say or do.
But I miss singing K with them..T_T...
It's..NOT raining. Now tht is.
But the sky's grey-ish.
That's good.
I wanna take a bus ride to.....
somewhere in SG.
I'd rather spend my time in the bus.
Got air con eh.
And hor, I won't be able to eat. WAHA.
How lovely.
The air's pretty stagnant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Late reply might as well don't reply.
Late phone call might as well don't call.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmms.
This lil' bro [he's bigger than me]
STILL.
He's annoying!!!
He doesn't wanna go out with me.
To cousin's house. ):
Idiot pig lah he.
Maple from ..umm..the time he wakes up till...
Evening.
On average... Around..
Uh..Uh... *counting*....
Ok. My head's full of the song so wait...
About... 8 hours at least a day.
S****d game.
It's ruining lives! =x
Ok lah. Only for me it is.
For others.. it's all abt...
JUMPING AND JUMPING?
Hahs.
Okayes.
TAta blogggg! =D
I wanna shop!!!!!!
I wanna get out of this house!!!!!
Away..
Ah vveeellss.

DEAR BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED TO RANT!!!!!!!!
RANT OUT MY LUNGS FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS MEETING DISGUSTING PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME SWEAR AND CURSE?!
IT'S UGLY.
MOST OF THEM.
OH FREAKING HECK I CAN'T CURSE THE F WORD COZ IT'S NOT IN ME YET.
I THINK IT'S GONNA BE INSIDE OF ME SOMEDAY.
IT'S A RETARDED DAY. OR FISH CRAP ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
IT SUX. BIG TIME.
THE FREAKING BASE WAS HORRIBLE.
MY RASHES ARE EWWW DARN FISH.
AND THT SINGAPOREAN IDIOT.
LOLS.
I FIND HUMOR IN CURSING.
LOL.
BUT SERIOUSLY.
THEY ARE ALL SO PERVERTED!
FISH THEM.
THEY'RE ASSHOLES.
OH GOD.
ANYWAYS. I DON'T CURSE THT OFTEN DO I?
HA.
FISH LAH.
LOL!!! AND I THOUGHT WHY MY BRO LAUGHED.
HIS MAPLE..GOT SOME GUY ''CAUGHT FOR HARRASSMENT AND BANNED FOR 14 DAYS''
THT'S FUNNY!
LOLS. OH WAIT.
BACK TO CURSING. =x
OK. SO. ANOTHER BOASTFUL ASSHOLE CAME MY WAY AGAIN.
DAMN HIM.
WHT THE FISH .
IT'S LIKE..ROX vs BLURxxxxxxxxxxx
DUNNO WHT GUILD LEADER IS THT SEH.
DAMN HELL OF AN UGHHHHHH.
SELF PROCLAIMED TOP 10 IN SG.
COME TELL ME I'M TOP 5.
WHT THE FISH PLS.
HE RUBBISH LIKE..SHIT.
LOLS.
OK. HE WON ME A FEW TIMES.
THOSE TIMES HE DIDN'T WIN,
HE SAID. HE'S TOO NERVOUS.
AND..WHEN HIS COOLS WERE LESS THAN MINE,
HE SAID I'D TAKEN OVER HIS TITLE OF BEING SG'S INOKICHI.
OR HOWEVER U SPELL THT.
WHT THE FISH.
WHEN HE WINS, HE SAYS IT'S LUCK.
HE KEPT PRAISING ME FOR FISH PURPOSES. MAYBE SO HE HAD THE CHANCE TO PRAISE HIMSELF TOO. ASK HIM GO AND DIE. X_X
I MEAN. WHT THE FISH PLS.
FISH + LUCK - LISH.
GOD I'M GETTING BOLD.
X_X
OK. ONLY TODAY!!!!
JUST LET ME BE!!!!
UGH.
HE. LIKE AK AND SUCHAFREAK.
SO KPO.
ASK ME ALL SORTS OF QNS.
LIKE SHIT.

OK. IT ISN'T THE OWNING SHIT. IT'S THE ''MY'' CRAP.
AND I DON'T CARE IF HE TYPED IT BY ACCIDENT OR NOT.
AND HE SAID HE'LL APPEAR ON TMR'S NEWPAPER. WHT THE SHIT.
ASK ME GO BUY SOMEMORE.
GO DIE LAH.
X_X

THX DEAR BLOG FOR LISTENING. =)
I feel much better now. =)
Sorry if i'm childish in doing so. But yeah.
There's a limit to my patience and tolerance.
Byeee.

Oh wheee!
The edusave letter sorta took my pain away.
Temporarily.
Awww... T_T.....
But still..Phews!
Oh!
Joke of the day by DNeo.
So I slept at ..umm..eleven plus yesterday. o_o
And Darren came up from playing with his friends -.-... [still so..childish =x]
Then he stepped into Parents' room.
He thought papa came back le.
Then when he switched the light on..
He wondered..Eh..
Why papa so small.
LOLS.
Ok lame.
Nvm. Cya dear blog! =)

Uh oh.
Maid broke my maggie mee mug yesterday.
And I broke my daisy milk glass today.
@_@..she said it was a bad bad sign.
Tht's.. superstitious enough.
Ha. Now I have to use plastic [cup] to drink my morning coffee.
Eee..

Anyways. The tattooist..was all right I guess. 2.8 over 5.
LOL.
For me that is.
And I couldn't sleep last night.
I should have turned on the air con.
-_-....
And I woke up in the middle of the night to massage my feet.
Gosh... The joints hurt . T_T...
UGH.

I still can't seem to successfully insert Boa's Every Heart. x___x
Okaye.
Taz for now!

Return to the online world also no one talking to me.
BLOG....T______________T.......
Gosh.
Fine.
Desert me, world!

Gosh. 7 insect bites on both feet [total]. darn disgusting.

Darn itchy too.
GOD SAVE ME.
Damn.
Yesterday night was feeling-bad-about-myself night.
Today. Didn't go too well also.
It's bored rotting at home.
And darn bro brought his friend home coz his friend was locked out of the house.
Used both coms outside for dunno how many hrs.
And I can't jam.
DAMN HIM.
Ok. I was nice to watch tv alone and blog instead of asking them to get out.
Sigh..

Volunteer work; Cancelled.

Days were full.
Ok loh.
More rotting-at-home days.
It just sux.

Wanna talk to IsB also so gang ko. Yes. And I remembered she has someone else more impt.

So be it.
Only Sarah jiejie's nice enough to be talking to me.
And.. That Xiang person.
On off talking to me.
And tht roxxy rox peep.
Suddenly talk to me for fish.
Ok I'm really bored.

Listening to music is all I have for company.

TODAY I WENT NTUC. SUN PLAZA THERE HOR...POPULAR GOT SALE EH. LAST DAY. I SAW THIS DARMN CUTEEE PORCUPINEEEEE. T_T.... BUT IT COSTS..LIKE..OVER 60 BUCKS. =x....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AISEH. STOP SAYING SHANG REN THE HUA LE LAH. =X
SAY ONCE CAN LE. DON'T HAVE TO ALWAYS REPEAT DE.
VERY SHANG REN GAN QING DE.
I'LL TRY TO CONTAIN MY SHANG REN HUA TOO. =x
I BLOGGED.

2 hours and counting..

And I wish my phone batt would die soon.

NOW.

CLEAR.









THERE'S NOTHING. DON'T BOTHER FINDING.





























































CLEAR.
























































































CLEAR.

Over you

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

So is this how you feel towards me?
That's good.
Right wants this. Left did not but it should not be too selfish.
'Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you.
The end? should be.

Get lost brain.
You get lost too heart.

Words can never replace feelings eh.
And they're bound to be revealed through words.

I have nothing else to add.
This is it.
Endings - categorised mainly into + and -
I wanted a + one.

Can't we really go back to before 140207?
Weren't we happier then?
It's just minus-ing the touchy stuff.
And certain lingo.

I know you need time to accept.
I need time to adapt too.

I've told you all I feel towards a r/s.
It's up to you to accept or reject.

There're really many better girls out there.
you've gotten over 3 r/s.
This should not be difficult to get over too.

I really dont wanna lose such a friend.
I've lost too many.

Never rule out any future possibilities.

I'm no longer that girl who yearns for a bgr anymore. I was.
Not now.
I tried to understand what love is. I couldn't.
It's sophisticated. The kind b/w guys and girls.
I don't wanna experience this now. It's too early.
I wanted to..But tht was 6 months ago.
I like you.
I love you as a friend.
But.. I cannot say I love you as a guy.
It's not coming from the depths of my heart.
It's meaningless.
I'm not there yet.
I don't have the ability to love other people besides my family and friends.
Not now definitely.
In the future or maybe never.

From like to love..there are like ten bus stops.
I'm not even half way there yet.
Maybe at the 3rd one.
Last time, I used to be.
Because my perception of love was ignorant and maybe a little xiao mei mei-ish.
Let nature take its course.
I'm really unable to say ily anymore. Unless I really mean it.
It's so freaking unfair to you.
Not my style.
I don't wanna continue giving you hope, and then be unable to 100% sustain it.
Because I don't wanna be treated the same way.
I dont like empty promises.

But I've tried.

It was never one-sided.
Maybe still isn't.

Time will wear it off.
Or maybe not.

Wait and feel.

Fade?
No idea.

Uncertain, doubts.

Letting go is inevitable.
Is letting go the same as ending it?
It looks different to me.

I never once mentioned separation.

Perspective. Then react.
The outcome I wished for?
I don't know.

I asked Pook today if she got sick of Bella.
She said yes.
Bella retaliated with a yes as well.
Is this how it's meant to be?
I'm not sure.

I'm incapable of sustaining a promise.
I daren't even promise.
Was it void?
Not completely.
It was mostly filled.
But, as long as it isn't 100%, I won't be satisfied.
If I'm not contented, how would others be?

I have to convince myself before I can convince others.

And this will take time.
I don't wanna be tied down by a promise or a special relationship.
Not now.
There are many restraints I have to set.
For myself to abide by.
These may be harsh.
If I can't live up to them, I can't face anyone.

This is the last straw.
Final.
Being abhorred?
Yeah. Feels like this is the case.
To be disliked is fine.
To know that I'm being disliked.
Not fine.
Lol.
Life can't be a straight line.
You'll be missing out on the good stuff, which would be cleverly incorporated into the bad.
Cheers.
I need enlightenment.
I'm gonna find it.
Alone.

感情麻木了，是否不用再受心理上的折磨？
是的。
你也能除掉你所渴望的自由感。
因为失去了感情就等于失去了快乐。
不过，也代表失去了痛苦。
这样的牺牲违背了我对自己人生所列出的原则。
苦与乐。欢与悲。
黑和白。
成双成对。
心灵已失去了方向。
但。。
以后再继续吧。

Tht's because your neck's aching or you're busy.
You can't expect me to continue interrupting whatever you're doing right?
Bye doesn't really mean anything significant to me.
It's just something to say to end a conversation.
Like when you say hello to start one.
Maybe it means something to you.
If it does, I'd rather not say hello.
No start, no need for an end.
To be labelled annoying/irritating, I can't take it.
Back to drowning myself in books till 1opm so I won't get a chance to call or sms.
Fewer sms-es = Less irritating.
No calls = Not irritating.
I can only come up with this method coz I don't intend to hide my flaws in front of someone I can trust.

Utterly tired.
Exhausted [mentally & physically drained]

I wanna sleep my way through tmr.

I'm shutting my mind down for a while.

I need the comfort of my own lil' world again.
BYE!

Well well...
I was high for a few short periods today.
When I experienced brain-freeze in Mummy's office.
When I was singing in the toilet; "I FEEL GOOD.. DADADADADA"
Irrelevant Yes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Darker moments too.
Carrefour was darn crowded. I don't like these kinda places.
They put me off.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Am I really that lousy?
Failing not only my own expectations but others' as well?
2 English prelim papers from other sch's are mocking me. 3 more to do likewise.
Read between the lines. They say : YOU SUCK!!
Yes I know. Thx for the reminder.
I need encouragement from my tutor.
I'm badly demoralized now.
I'm now more inclined to believing I'll get 8 pts minimum for Os. Humanities 2, Eng 2.
If I'm lucky that is.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Am I really not giving enough?
I thought I did.
I felt I initiated a lot.
My calls seemed to be the norm.
My mood won't change because of the Os. That's definite.
It'll only change because of what others speak or don't speak.
What others act or don't act.
Words never not have an impact on me.
In fact, they affect me quite a bit.
Constructive criticism in a subtle manner is healthy. No doubt about that.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your words can really bring me down sometimes.
How I'd wish you would call yesterday.
You didn't.
I know my expectations and demands are unreasonable.
So forget it.
Maybe it's better this way.
Only reason I can think of: You don't wanna hear my voice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really can't afford to lose focus now.
My bio's still on the sharp end of a knife.
My Eng is down the cliff.
I'm sick of this life now.
I'll dread the life after Os more.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My principle: Study hard and at the same time, relax. Studying full time then relaxing full time would only cause you to miss the good things in life which pass you by every day. Remember; Time won't turn back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll live by that.

Ignorance can be educated.
Drunkenness can be sobered.
Stupidity lasts forever.

How true. It really does. I rmb making the same mistake vaguely. I didn't link the Qn tightly. Didn't link part (b) to (a). How ridiculous. Indeed, stupidity will follow me with life. Until I'm able to manipulate it or something.

What a joke.

Experiencing these:
[was really worse than hell]
Ha. All my friends got an A1. Well, almost all in my clique I suppose. 16 distinctions and I wasn't one of them.
Seeing them cheer and smile, I was happy for them. Sure I was.
Just the opposite for myself.
Almost everyone around you laughing and heaving sighs of relief.
Me?
Heavily dejected.
Sat there, counted my marks. Really felt like giving up. And I did. [for a while maybe]
Like every bad day, the tears spilled out so quickly.
Oh. But I managed to suppress them. Came up. Went back. Came back up, went back down.
It was difficult.
How many times did I tell myself not to cry today?
Eventually, I let it all out.
In a secret place. [aiseh, so obvious >_>]
Bella and Amanda were so worried. Ha. Glad they got what they deserved.
I deserved my pathetic B.
I didn't study very hard, did I?
Only for the first 3 days of the hols.
The 3 days before this paper, I only cared about memorising essays.
Was it a wrong focus? I bet so.
If Bella hadn't comfort me with a pat on the head, I wouldn't have cried.
I'm too sensitive, in particular, easily touched when people show such concern.
How useless.
Ha. Long post. Bear with it. You can leave though.
Ha..
What on earth went wrong?
I don't know.
Failed prac.
Didn't do well for MCQ.
Section A was a disaster.
Only my essay pulled my grades up. [It didn't do the same for me]
Well. At least I improved by one grade from mid-yrs.
That's the only consolation.
Mr Tang was like so fearful for me.
Asked me how I did for the other subjects.
How comforting. For a teacher.
Still, I didn't meet anybody's expectations for bio this time.
Now left side of the mouth is angry. Right side's fine.
Or rather, left side of my head's aching too. How weird.
Ha... Wanna ache, whole head ache loh.
Anyway, I'm fine after all those chocolates. Not very satisfying but I needed them.
Tears calmed me down as usual.
They're my best friends now.

What can I possibly do to improve now? I don't know.
I really need the advice.
Someone, anyone to tell me to get back on my feet.
To tell me where to focus.
To motivate me to study the usual 9hrs/day.
To give me more assessment on Bio and tell me my weak points.
To teach me more Bio stuff.
To correct the incorrect concepts.
Someone pls!
Or I'll be a gone case...

I'm tired.. I don't wish to continue all this crap.
Crap which I don't know how and where to improve on.
Crap which only makes me wanna give up.
Crap which deters me from studying and believing I'm really retarded.
Crap which seals my fate - No matter how hard I try, it's still a B.

I don't want all this!!

But what can I do..?

Lil' bro doing his "break dancing" moves. -_-

The sky can appear in many different colours. Beautiful! Whees~ More pics!

1. I'm tired. *yawns + stretches*

2. SEI ZEN. WO YAO GEN NI SUAN ZHANG. Chisin. You send my vid to kor. Then he sent it to chaxiu kor. Then KC also watched it on Kor's hp. UGHHHH!!! There goes my beautiful reputation and image. T___________________________T!!!! [Ultra Depressed]

3. MAth today. Lost 12 marks just like tht. Careless + stupid me. Damn. [Ultra Depressed] T_____________T AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I kept telling myself I could do it, but in the end, i solved tht 2 mark Qn and gave up on tht 3 mark Qn. T_T So does chanting "I can do it" really work? Hmm. Stupidity overrode everything ultimately. I hope it doesn't happen again. Tht's all. I'm devastated! [Ultra Depressed]

4. Chem; Mrs Selvam said Bella and I did well. A1 without counting last 10mark essay. That doesn't really uplift my spirits though. BLAHH!!

5. I shall not dwell on results and exams now. TV's more impt now!! WAHA.

6. Talk to suchy for quite a while today. Talked to KC and Popo too!! Wahah. Miss them! T_T Talked to Vis kor too! Ah wells. Abnormally, I began HAHA-ing. So..should be ok.

.Ironically, I keep telling people not to dwell on history. Yet I don't practise what I preach. Now I have to get this into my freaking useless mind: History can't be changed no matter how much you think about it. The past is never going to happen again, unless you let it. Which I believe I won't, after realising how stupid I could get. Everyone knew RV wasn't gonna come out, yet I foolishly spent 2hrs on it. Wasted almost half of my time for studying A math. BLAH!!!!

.I could have done more. YEs I could. I just didn't put in enough effort during the hols. Guilty. Yes. And that freaking leaky nose made everything worse. Take it as another lesson learnt. It feels terrible. Condemning myself. No wait. I should. It's harsh.

.Time can never be turned around. Time moves on. It won't ever wait for us. So .. Move on dude. Time is valuable. Don't waste it. Ah wells. After saying all this, I still waste time stonning. Sigh.

BYE PEOPLE. BYE DEAR BLOG. T_T

TODAY SUX! AND THERE'S NO ONE TO LISTEN.

clouds!! (:


Oh right. Younger bro. My specs. His face. My cam. Lols. Monday.

NOW IT'S UR TURN TO BLOG DUDE. =P

Ok. So it IS food. My bad. =(

A mistake learned is a lesson learned = priceless. LALALALA.

All alone again. At home. Facing.. 4 walls with a door in one and a window in another.
Left at home with merely the sun's company (which I don't particularly fancy) and.. BOOKS (Which I don't intend to touch till 8pm). Oh. TV (my drama marathon begins at 6pm). Computers. Ahs. I can't jam with the blinding sun's rays. So, blogging is an option for me since I'm so bored and I don't wanna sneak into the kitchen again. -_-

I suddenly feel reflective after reading kor's post. But..

I have absolutely nothing to reflect upon.

Besides being in such an ultra sickening bad mood because of my freaking fingers which look as if they're being infested with skin-eating bacteria. *breathes* Now that was a pretty long sentence.

A new strain of virus? HA. Bacteria lah. Must be the relative of the flesh-eating bacteria. Tsk. God. It gives me pain.

Hope it won't hinder my writing ability during exams. If not, I can really go pop a mentos (mint) into my mouth and drown my entire system with coke. Then wait patiently for an explosion to occur. If it doesnt, bring me more mentos MINT! And the original coke. No lime one. EEEE. yuck.

HAhs. I'm bored. blahhh. I'm thirsty too.

Taz.

So did you finish reading all those in less than 30 secs?

Oh oh. Back to my fingers. THEY LOOK TERRIBLE. Oh oh. The sky was beautiful today!
The clouds were so fluffy, white and reflecting so much light they made me lose my sight for a while. Lols. Okaye.

Cya.

Gtg repair the normal mechanism of the skin on those fingers.

Bye.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

SEE LAH. I WANTED TO HAVE LUNCH WITH YOU TODAY DE LOH. BUT. YOU MADE ME ANGRY YESTERDAY. LALA. HO. HA. TOO BAD. SIGHS.

OK. I BLOGGED.

Okaye.. So..

Most of the things need not be said to be understood.

Surprises never fail to bring that tinge of excitement and overjoy.

Rain smells very nice. Feels absolutely great too! And when you look up to the sky, the rain seems to be falling down from heaven. Honestly. Curtains of rain beating down from heaven. The angels sneezing? Hahs. Just this invisible layer where rain is generated. It's cool. Blue cool.
And the moon's real bright and round this morning. I woke up and saw this patch of light glowing at my younger bro. I though he was awake and was using his phone.

But no. Guess what. Ha.












































It was the light given off from the moon. How cool! Nature's awesome!

Hmm..SP also means...



S P
E O
C S
R T.
E
T.

Sorry if I've made you upset or shocked you yesterday..
Actions do speak louder than words and I can't just live on verbal promises.
I need to see things get done. Before me. Only then will I feel secured.
Hope you understand.

Oh right. A day late. But.. let's be patriotic!







3 posts in a day!

Well well.. And breaking that plate just stifled my temporary crave for yet another helping of ice cream.

Life.

Hmms..I woke up .. ok today. Till I got my chem books ready for mugging.

Injury prone seh.. Bad luck's coming my way again. X_X Hope lady luck shines her .. torch on me on Monday. *prays*

Okay.. So..I got 2 chem books out. My chubby red textbk and tys. Then.. I watched those 2 slide off the edge of the bed.. piak. On my poor feet. Guess I was too.. blur in the morning to even stop those books from sliding off the bed. LOLS. Laugh it off. HOHO. Ah wells. And there's a blue black on my right hand. Where I knocked it yesterday. HAHA. A small patch. So cute. XD

Ghostly... who hung up on who earlier? O_O? @_@? X_X?

WE'RE BREAKING FREE!
I guess we just did. Back to Kristyn's life. Not Kirt's.

Wow! It's been one and a half weeks dearest blog. <33

Okay. Let's get serious abour speaking standard English and writing excellent expressions! Hadn't I been doing so? Hmm... Owh right! And I saw Doraemon the other day. Many many doraemons waiting to be bought by .. hmm. People obviously.





I went shopping the previous weekend!! =D Had much fun!! Bought.. hmm .. clothes as usual. I'd rather buy clothes than buy food dude. WAHA! Anyway, have to buy something for bro since he let me use the toilet to bathe first earlier. It was indeed NOT gentlemanly at all. We were... fighting. TADA! Yeah. Fighting with him helps me relieve stress..or rather, helps me by taking everything out on him in a subtle way he doesn't even realise I suppose. =X

Oral's next monday? YEaH. X_X I need to remember so many things or I shall risk having my flaws fully exposed like... a cat without its fur. X=

Prelims are coming in less than 2 weeks. And SS's first! How unlucky eh? When the teacher either absents herself or fails to teach us anything productive. Bleh.

National Day is finally here!! =D How excited! XD I love national Day because..

I LOVE TO WEAR RED AND PARTICIPATE IN CELEBRATIONS IN SCH!
Hahs.. As if. But honestly, I'd rather celebrate than..bury myself in a huge pool of alkenes and acids, dy/dx and cosec, xylem vessels and Faraday's Laws. Ahs. Hope MR Tang recovers soon! He still owes me like more than 30 big bucks?! Gosh. I'm severely broke. T_T

Anyway, gtg! Lyrics for my current fav! Taz!

Emotionally drained.

Mentally taxing.

Physically exhausted.

All apparent symptoms of being unable to achieve something you desire.

In this case, the song.

Sad huh?

Yeah, you bet.

SP somewhere within the months.

You know, I always tell myself, if you cared, you would have taken the initiative to actually find all those SPs hidden in this blog. But it was never really realised.

And dreams shall remain virtual. They never will happen in reality.

If you understand. If you had been attentive. You'll realise it for me.

Only then will I believe: Dreams do come true.

I shan't deny the absence of that tiny bit of. jealousy sometimes. =X

Lols. Funny NTUC guy in the bus earlier. Is he kaypoh or plain concerned? Of did he just want to be a Mr Nice guy [MNG] ? Ha. Anyway, it was thoughtful of him either way.

*taps me on the shoulder*

MNG: Eh... your bag wet already.
Me: Owh. Ha.. It's ok. Thank you.

*thinks: Ha.. My bag is water resistant dude. Lols. Thx anyway.*

how screwed.

many turns on the screw and it's not screwed in yet. Half way or maybe not even there.

domino effect. it's taking a turn for the worst. i know. only the person screwing it in gets to decide.

it's difficult to do it alone. support. from friends aint enough. but i still appreciate it. thx van. thx bella. <33333

tears just get dried and down into the bin with the tissue. Ha. must have freaked bella out with the tears.

only myself to blame. for not reading the damned paper carefully. in a hurry? or plainly distracted? or.. plain stupid? the 1st and 3rd options work for me.

NVM.

WHAT IS SUCCESS WITHOUT FAILURE? NOT HAVING TASTED THE BITTERNESS OF FAILURE WILL NEVER BRING YOU THE JOY OF SUCCESS. STRIVE ON GIRL!

ok.

Nothing really matters now eh?

The answer is of utmost unimportance.

A new hole has been created.
Waiting to be mended.

Seriously, If you care too much, the deeper will the wound be. How ironic. Sure.
This is just one of the darker moments.

I thought through last night. Thinking of whether I should fake it.
But.. It all depends on the circumstances.
And I did say.
Wanted to see if you'd defend your friend and misplace the trust I had in you.
Well well.. Things didn't really go the way I had planned.
Of course. If they did, my parents would have won toto.

I know I had pissed you off. I'm sorry. I just had to know. But knowing more will leave
a greater gash.
Ignorance is bliss.

I never knew the trust you people had in me was that fragile. How upsetting. HAHA.

I looked forward to today. 28o7o7. But it turned out to be a half-nightmare. Gosh.. Now the inferiority complex sets in on me again. I wonder when was the last I truly seriously thought I was freakin'.. ugly. Gosh. I even fear having to speak that word. My whole world .. okaye. Perhaps 99%. Came crashing down on me. I was literally black today. Damn I suck.

Fortunately Anh's pics came. Thx gurl. <33

How I wish you could be right by my side this moment..

Wishful thinking.

Ah wells. Talking about absolute value. I still don't get the whole picture of relative velocity clearly. Still blurred. AHH!! I'll work it out some day I guess.. Hopefully before the prelims. X_X
Prelims are like..in..3 weeks?! 3 darn weeks. And one week passes by soooo darn fast. DUDE! Gosh. And guess what?
,
,,
,,,
,,,,
,,,,,
,,,,,,
,,,,,,,
,,,,,,
,,,,,
,,,,
,,,
,,
,
Can't guess eh?
HAHAHAHAHA -_-
Anyways, Phy paper one and two are on my birthday! What luck eh? Yeah. And I'm still contemplating whether I should ask Mr Chan to be lenient with my marking coz I was born on that very day 16 years ago. Gosh no! FAIRNESS! Yeah. Since the govt. practises that, I should to. (=

GOD GOD GOSH! I haven't studied the whole syllabus for all the subjects! Arghssssss! None of us have either! X_X!!! I'm so worried, afraid and stressed! And I know none of them is of any help to me now so I'm blogging in a bid to relieve some stress. Blasting the music as usual. I am so in the prelim kinda mood now. T___________T AHs. But I'm still enjoying I guess. I'll be going Katong tmr! =D Ahs.

Time is slipping so fast out of my hands.
And if anyone has any method of preserving time, I'm willing to exchange 99% of my life for it.
The other 1%, I'll need to go back to history to correct a few mistakes.
Gosh.. Weeks are passing by like nobody's business.
I had no time..ok fine. LITTLE time to go online, let alone blog. Actually, I wasn't exactly in the mood to blog either.
Fireworks. I think they're gonna look black for me this year.

Don't luan luan xiang hor. It's never too good to xiang wai de. Tsk.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I seriously hope my dad is mistress-free.

Sigh.

How I wish you can just grab my hand and never let go; prompt-free.
Read my words.

Today went delightfully! =D
IJ celebrated Racial Harmony Day today! I went to school and felt sooooo envious of classmates who were wearing their ethnic costumes. Sigh.. Then. Something really impromptu happened. Kathleen lent me her sari. WAHA! How happy could I get? XD Had to borrow her shirt and sari and bangles + Rachel's shorts. Hahs. Had a really fun time chilling out with games in the hall.
Waiting for Anh to send me her pics. =D

;I'm the happiest girl on earth today! =]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I cannot control what others do or say. The only thing I can possibly control .. is my reaction towards the actions of others. I'd rather remain indifferent than unhappy.

Okaye. Wanted to get the laces before saturday so I could give it to you. But sighsssss.. No time. Didn't even knew where to get it. Nobody seemed to know where to get it. So I had to try my luck at XxxxxxxxXxxxx.
TADA! Found it. Better late than never. =]

I like the texture of it. Felt nice. LOLs. Compared to the other one. Hope it's thick enough.
Okaye.

Woke up quite early today. Around 6 I guess. Coz it was too cold -_-...
Then.. Went to the market with mummy at 7. Fun. So cool. So many people. [Eh Eh...Not my first time to the market hor..]

The things there..are good. And the pork smelled delicious! Hahs. Then went to NtUC after lunch at pizza hut. I still prefer the original pizza. Hawaiian. =D Later.. went to visit ah ma. Then brought her to Giant. Big huge giant. Crowded as usual. Then it rained! Ooh la la. Ah wells.. Had fun with ah ma. =D <3333333

Sorry for being such an ass yesterday.. ok... ALL the time.
I don't know what's up with the mood swings and all.
Haih.. bad bad bad me.
It was really bad yesterday. I started to think.. Can we really live like this? Unable to accommodate to each other's feelings? I don't know.. It's me most of the time I guess..
Being so unreasonable and.. insensitive..and.. inconsiderate..and.. complaining... and dissatisfied... and discontented.
BAD BAD BAD.

I tried to shout and stuff.
Msg wasn't put across.
So be it..
Urghhh.

I don't like one word/alphabet replies.
The minor anxiety felt may be one reason.
And the apathy another.

Today's Amath test went very smoothly at first. Then when I compared my results with my friends at the end of the test, I found out I didn't check my work as thoroughly as I thought I had. I had to let it go. Wasted 2 marks just like this. Maybe because I spent the last 10-15 mins recalling my speech. Still. No excuse dude! Damn. I can't believe my carelessness is taking a toll on me again. Sigh.. It wasn't like this.. It used to be though..but I though I had made my way up to the ''cautious'' category. Double sigh. Looks like I've got to really push myself somemore.

Well..On the brighter side of today. My speech went well. Think my nervousness made me cry. But I felt much much better after those toxins left me through my eys. Hahs.. I'l glad it's over though. I've got a B! Which means band 2 = very good.

Coz C means good. And A means Excellent! So yeah. I'm proud I made it to a B. (:

There's always a gain to make up for the loss. ((:
1Plus and 1minus make everything neutral. Balanced.

Okaye. So we had chicken BRIYANI today. Not some what rice rice thing hor. -.-...

Tuition was quite fun. Hellols.

I seriously need a new purse coz this present one seems to be falling apart.

Tmr's a long long day without lunch as usual. A math lesson from 2.30-4.30. RELATIVE VELOCITY. X_X!

Bought 2 kiap kiaps [hair clips] yesterday. One for a dollar. I know it wasn't worth the cash. But I bought it anyway. Besides, how often do I buy such stuff? >_>

And I tend to jump from one point to another. Blah. My mind's not very organised after a day at sch.

What else..Hmms..Nothing much. I love my dp!! T_T No heart no pain. How very true.
The absence of the heart = the absence of the soul + feelings = no emotions felt = no surfacing of anger, violence and pain etc.. = lifeless. .__.
Pain. It's good. Anything which doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. (: I like pain. Hurt. Suffering. It means someone else out there is happier. Relishing over his possesions perhaps.

When I saw you leave, the expression you gave me was..
that of being unable to let go..
I could like..see solid tears in your eyes.
I wanted so much to hug you but I couldn't. Not in public. Hahs. Not when we're just friends actually.
Well, there's still the phone and the internet. (:

VECTORS ARE DIFFICULT! RELATIVE VELOCITY SPECIFICALLY.
X_X I SUCKKKKKKKKKK. Sigh.. Sometimes I get it. Sometimes I don't.
Transformers was excellent! Better than batman, spiderman123 and the other men. d.__.b
Been really busy too blog.
Sorry if I take a long long time to reply your sms sometimes. I was busy. X_X! Gomene. And I don't like to check my phone when I'm in the middle of work. So yeah. Unless I can hear the vibration. ._.
Hehs.. Nothing much happened.
Yeah. Nothing much..

BYEBYE!

Sorry for saying that if I were pissed, I'll just say bye and it's better for us.
But what I meant was very literal. As in, try to hang up and you can play ur game. I can go sleep or go do other things. Yeah. Better for us wad.. lols.

But don't you ever get bored talking to me? If you aint playing? Hmm..

And yeah.. I'll try to look from your point of view more often. I've been neglecting your opinion I know. I'm just too selfish. Sigh.. But do go ahead if you wanna play or anything yeah. I won't say a thing. But don't play all the time.

Don't curse me neh. I won't fall lohs..so suay mehs? =p

The loneliest thing that can every happen to you is not when you're alone in a pool of strangers..

It's when you're with a bunch of good friends and no one's talking to you. [People whom you don't talk to often aint that bad.]

Another lonesome thing is when there's nothing but silence shrouding the distance between a preoccupied person and another individual. Coincidentally, this distance is the furthest distance ever for the latter.


Main Entry: alone
Synonyms: abandoned/apart/companionless/deserted/desolate/detached/forlorn/forsaken/
friendless/isolated/lone/lonely

It's just a matter of adaptation isn't it?

Seriously, I wonder why I've been sighing so much lately.
Is it because of mummy's dislike for you?
Is it because I'm suffering from the post-shopping withdrawal symptoms?
Is it because of the stress and the worry of being unable to complete all the exercise books I've bought?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I have no idea. >_>

Maybe it's a combination of all 3. Yeah perhaps. Real sorry if I've been so..temperamental lately. Sigh.. Hmm..Sad sad sad. I don't wanna live like this. Like a time bomb which goes off every hour! X_X!! UGH!!

Heck. The only possible solution now.. is to stop thinking abt all these. And focus on fighting more with younger bro. XD
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The best way to make it through is to listen to your heart.

In life, we have to make difficult decisions. We're afraid that whatever choice we make will upset someone we love.

It is at this time that we need to stop and listen to the voice inside us. If we only listen to the wishes of those around us and ignore our own feelings, we will not be truly happy.

Listen to what you know is right and stand by that because when you do, you will be happy.

Found this in Aman's hse. It's true. Although initially, I didn't agree with the 3rd para. Listening to the wishes of those around us and working hard to achieve them can make us happy too.. No? It's part of the fight to make the ones you love happy. To find happiness in making people you love happy is not wrong either.

The worst thing a friend could possibly do is to say 'goodbye'.

It hurt so much when you wonderful girls said goodbye. I felt my heart wring for once.

How am I to adapt to the pain of separation? It happens all the time. Sec 2. Sec 4 now. I'm so used to seeing all 39 of you in class. And now,... Even if we do meet each other regularly for a meal or something, the feeling will never be the same.

The joy of being able to see you girls every day can never be replaced. Never.

This has to be worse than break ups b/w girls and guys. Seriously, I know we should all move on.

Memories are what I have now. All of you were and will remain a piece of jigsaw in me. Physically, you all can't be there. But at the back of mind, you'll see me clinging on so tightly to those pieces of jigsaw. Memories can't be erased. But they do become forgotten.

Will I forget 4/1?

Maybe. But for now, 4/1 'o7, once a part of my life, will continue being a part of me. A part. Not apart. Never.

You people entered my heart, left footsteps in the wet cement. Now, the cement has hardened to form a foot path, and all your steps are permanent. Ugh. Must you really do this to me?...

Come to think of it, everything does come with a price tag.

You want friends, you have them. Pay for the hurt when you separate.

I'd rather have best friends and pay.

Now. This very moment. That sense of loneliness I used to experience is back. It's not neglect or anything negative. It's purely returning to the past. Where I used to be. Where I should have not moved from. Where everything in my life was duller. It should be considered normal for me.

Today didn't go very bad. Neither did it go well.

It's black.

Okaye. My laptop just blacked out. And shut down by itself. So I shall not elaborate again.

Bleh blah bluhhh!

Me: Mummy, I go ice lemon tee a while yeah.
Mummy: Ok.

Hmm..so when I walked out of the shop, I couldn't find mummy and yee yee. Then I saw the both of them walk out of the Kopitiam next door.

Mummy: Eh..didn't you say you were buying ice lemon tea??
Yee yee: Oh.. Ice lemon TEE a...HAHAHAHA
Me: -_____-..... Well... [they looked flustered when they came out of the kopitiam. And I just had HK milk tea. >_>]

Well. The funniest thing today. So far. Hellols. And I bought 3 pairs of earrings today! 3 for 5 bucks ma..
Although I want heelss. .. . ... . T______T
Gonna mug at Aman's hse tmr. Bought loads of food to stuff ourselves. X_X!!! Feast seh.. Die. SS day tmr. Hope I have time for a lil bio too. At least one paper. Or some memorization. Gonna bake tmr too!! Doubt the bananas can last till monday. X_X

lin said.. its just whether you are prepared to give up something for that person and prepared to commit ..

I'm seriously not giving up all that I have. It's too much to do so.
I'm not going to disappoint my parents for your sake.
I'm not going to disappoint myself for us.
I'm not going to give up my studies and my achievements (if i have any -.-) for a relationship you want.
I'm not prepared.
Not now.

The more I think of this statement, the more I see it at the forum, the more it makes me think. I still don't agree with that. Not fully. Time still plays a very important part. To me, it does.

You spend more than a decade studying.
Sit for major exams.
For a better future. To be able to support your parents.
Yet love just hits you like a bus. During the 'preparing-for-the-future' period.
No doubt, I like how it feels.
I had always thought I knew what true love means. Now.. I find myself still looking for a definition. I don't understand what love it. Maybe a little. I'm still seeking.
Time plays a really important role.
That's why my parents always say "you're still too young lah girl"..

How can you give up your education.. your parents' wishes.. and waste their decade plus of grooming you? Just for the sake of.. l-o-v-e? Even if I can find the balance, my parents won't allow that. Still.. I have not really balanced everything out. I'm choosing to stick to my studies. I wanna earn my 4 million bucks!!!!

All that aside, this doesn't stop me from hanging out with you. Lols.. But my mind's still fixed on the books.

YOU'RE SO FREAKING MEAN. WHAT MU ZHU LOH. MEAN GIP YOU. UTTERLY HONESTLY SERIOUSLY MEAN!!!!!!!!!

Okaye. Stress free day today! Left with a lil chinese essay to complete and some eng revision. All my stress .. i relived it yesterday! So.. I can watch tv today! Or maybe even bake! =D But I ran outta butter. =XX EEK.

I'M NOT GOING ON SATURDAY! HMPH!

Got my Eng prelim oral result back. Hmm.. Ok ok ba. In between 1 and 3; = 2. Lols. Must work harder!!!! Need to revise.. Chem! Phy! We've completed the whole phy syllabus! Woohoo! And..A math! And.E math! to revise. And more more more English!!! More newspapers!! SS!!!! Yes man! Geog..hmm..

Kae. Gtg do homework then revise!! Wheess~~

Today was a bad bad day. X_X!
I was so dreading school!
It sux! Until Math. Which was the last 2 periods. Then I became..smiley-ish.
Cause Aman and I talked about the things we baked during the holiday!
That was enough to make me feel truly burdenless. Thx aman! *BIG HUG!*

Height and weight. Kinda expected so yeah. I'm glad I didn't shrink.

I feel bad blogging. So yeah. I shall go revise some physics later. After this post. In case Mr chan starts asking Qns tmr again. Hmms..

And.. Mai and Hong are like..down with chicken pox. Hmms. Hong's recovering though. Hope Mai's fine.

And I seriously need to make a few personal resolutions!
RESOLUTION#1; WORK DOUBLY HARD TO GET BACK MY 4TH POSITION!
RESOLUTION#2; STOP LYING ON YOUR SHOULDER, STOP ASKING YOU TO CUT YOUR HAIR, STOP GOING OUT WITH YOU. HELLOLS.

Not entirely stop. But yeah. Maybe reduce the frequencies so you have time for other things. =)
And..

RESOLUTION#3; TRY TO SHUT UP MORE OFTEN, REDUCE THE NOTHINGS AND NVMS.

What else? Hmms.. Make you more angry!! HAHAHAHA! I like it when you get angry. At me. Not at anyone else that is. -_-

Still. One thing stays. I'm still gonna perfect your English! =D That's the only thing I ask to care for now. <3

Please keep this blog secret. Only you and I.

Um. Boo?
In the end, I still gave in. Cheers to the very fact that I can't take it anymore. That I will try my best not to hurt you anymore. Friends for now. ''Get that into your thick head girl!''

And yes. I've been waiting for that one msg which will brighten up my day.
It never came.
Reason; me.
I never once gave up although I had tried to.
You have done a lot for me.
Now it's my turn.

Now I am at a loss for words. And I had everything thought out. The music just took away my thoughts for a second.
Hmm...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Do you really honestly seriously know my decision?
I know I was kinda harsh yesterday.
But that was the only way to get the msg across laughing.
And apparently, the msg was wrong.
But if you cared, you would have found your way here long ago.
So should I break it to you?
Or let you find your way here?
I'll see.

Yes. I really don't get it.

Get what?
Maybe now it's my turn to try to let go. This ignoring thing can really kill me. Hahs..
Or perhaps..I should tell myself this; Maybe this is better for you. It should be. The extinction of me can really save many from heartaches and bad luck. Death. It solves all problems. But I doubt it'll bring away your sorrow. Wanna try?

I know this is purely my fault.
Nothing is ever right when I'm around.
I am to blame for all that has occurred.
Hahs.. I'm an awful person to be with.
No matter how I reproach myself, nothing will change.
What's done cannot be undone. But.. I'm still puzzled over what has really been done. Lols.
The fact that now is the absolute wrong time.
The others still stay. If we both allow it to. Or have I made you lose faith in this r/s? If that's the case. Good for you. You're free from the jinx! Grats.

Is this all real?
About true love lasting forever?
It seems fake.
Or is it the fact that people are moving on?
Once, you claimed you love so-and-so. It wasn't just one. Was it? There were.. a few.
You said you'll love so-and-so forever. No matter where so-and-so went.
Even death won't affect this love of yours.
And you repeated it. The whole process.
Just that, the so-and-so now is an entirely different person.
Unique you say. Different. Just so different.
If you had said you'll love so-and-so no matter where so-and-so went before, then why did you change?
Your heart.
Shouldn't it stay?
So does it mean that, .. If I had blew it again...
Like how the previous so-and-so blew it, you can easily move on?
Like before? Like you once did?
I don't know if people will still think of their previous partners when they face a new so-and-so.
I'm new to this whole thing.
I'm still trying to figure everything out.

Option#1; Live in confusion.
Option#2; Stop thinking about this. It has nothing to do with you.
Option#3; Ask the experts.
Option#4; Laugh it off. HAHA. -_-

I'll take option#5. Coz there aint one. I'm not going to choose again.

Personalised kb eh? Hmms.

HEH! I woke up at 1o.49 today. And indeed. I looked at the amt of sunlight coming in and thought to myself; It's 11. >_> And true enough, I was close! I had a dream. Not a nightmare. When I woke up, bro was gone. Younger bro was still in bed. My dreams do have a start and an end. I was in Genting! On the same roller coaster ride I dreamt of before. It was amazing! Although physically, it cannot be found there. But yeah. Maybe it's a ride I would really like to try somewhere on earth. I met yeeyee and Vic. Didn't see Bryan though. As usual. On a boat.. To somewhere. With many many glass bottles. Then, I was awaken by Mummy I think after the roller coaster ride. I wonder if I had screamed. In reality. LOL.

Then. I went back to sleep. I dreamt of Daddy and I queueing up at NTUC. Or some place resembling that supermarket. Hellols. We kept jumping cashier but the ladies there were like social workers. And told us to return to the original queue. >_> So, we went back to our first or second queue. And we got our stuff. And tht's the end of all my dreams.

Somewhere in between my dreams, .. Another pleasant surprise. Which turned out to be harsh when in reality, it never happened.
I never wanted this silence between us.
It's the unpredictable kind of silence.
It's torture.

I should have told you I'm nothing good. Right from the beginning.
Bad luck with me? Or should I use jinx?
My intentions were vague perhaps. But I thought you'd know. To an extent.
I don't know what your thoughts are. Just rest well if you don't wanna think anymore. Do whatever makes you feel better. I'm just that literal. Or maybe superficial.

So.. Have I finally done something correctly as a daughter?
Maybe the awful stress due to the old folks and perhaps work?
You think with your heart. Not your brain. The brain is just a follower. 想; think. The xin at the bottom is evidence.

Reason it out. Damned life.
Theveryfirsttimeyouhungup.

Great. Now I'm sort of left alone at home. When both bros get to go out. I'm stuck with the internet.

Don't feel obliged eh? Hmm.. Maybe I felt obliged in the past. Maybe I still do now. And I know, obligation is not something to be felt in any half broken relationship. Be it with friends or family. If it breaks, it just does. You can't glue it back. You can't mend it. Even if you do, like how you use the best brand of superglue to repair a shattered vase etc, there will still be a flaw. Nothing comparable to a brand new one. Maybe that's how relationship works. Like after some HUGE incident, you and your mum can't possibly communicate as worry-free as before.

What if I decide to break it again? Hellols. Without feeling a tinge of guilt and regret. Not possible. So is that considered obligation? I don't know. All I know is that.. I need to decide. Quick.

If a fullstop ends a sentence.
What then, has the power to end life?
Hellols.
Gd qn.
A decision.