see me in hindsight

喜欢一个人，都真那么累吗？ 可能到头来说，也只能怪我自己太傻，都知道结果会是这样，还是固执的坚持着。一次也算了，但碰到第二，第三次，就太离谱了吧。 他们说爱情是盲目的，可能真是如此。 不开心只能往肚子吞，不服气只能怪自己太倔强 想埋怨也没辙，想你也没办法 i'm exhausted. this constant waiting and fearing for the other shoe to drop.

current mood:

i know on some days - and more often than not - i can be annoying, pesky, whiny, unreasonable, down right incorrigible and a little hard to love. on those days, i pray to god for you to not give up on me. i'm learning, trying to be the best possible version of myself, and i think you help me to do just that.  so please, don't let me and my heart down. promise? 

it's been a tumultuous couple of months to say the least. i haven't been so happy for a while now, but i've also had my fair share of days when nothing seems to be going right and everything felt like they were falling at the seams. it feels like i'm at a crossroads in my life - and in more ways than one. everyone seems to be progressing in life: ticking the right milestones, accomplishing the right things, having it all together, while i'm just... chugging along. i'm in exactly the same place i was in 2014 but everyone has moved forward. and this revelation scares the fuck out of me. it's just that i like to think i'm getting older and wiser, and the same way i find myself in bad situations i should know how to get myself out of it - and not even get into it in the first place. but no, somehow the rule of common sense exudes me. i know what i need, what i want, but somehow, more often than not, i find myself putting the needs of others' above ...

birthday month specials : )

i'm still not sure about that.