I guess it was a personal challenge. A dire need to break out of my self-consciousness, to test my belief that 'I'm not lonely. I'm just alone.' The first time is always the most difficult. After that, it only gets easier.What I learned was that my fears of dining out and going to the movies alone were much worse than actually sitting in a restaurant or darkened movie theater and watching a movie. No one is judging you or wondering why you are alone. All that self-consciousness comes only from you. As you may have experienced in other things you’ve tried for the first time, the first time is always the most difficult. After that, it only gets easier. - 7 Things you learn about yourself
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." - C.S Lewis
Sunday, October 23, 2011
By the end of 2011...
Friday, October 07, 2011
What makes life worth living?
What Makes Life Worth Living?

My partner is taking a class in psychology and one assignment asks her to write a paper answering the question “What makes life worth living?”
For the past few days, she’s been asking the people around her – kids, friends, co-workers – what they think makes life worth living, and the answers have been pretty much of a sort: family, friends, work, music, some possession or other, faith, maybe health. Computer games.
Although these answers aren’t necessarily trivial, they strike me as very unsatisfying answers to the question “What makes life wort living?” What about family, friends, work, etc. makes life worth living? Just having them?
Then why aren’t most people – who generally have families, friends, and jobs – happier than they are? Why, indeed, do we live in a society where anti-depressants are among the most profitable medications? Why are the bookstore shelves packed with books explaining how to be happier?
I think there’s a resistance to answering a question like this honestly. Sure, being put on the spot and asked one of the most profound questions humanity has managed to come up with is probably not exactly conducive to thoughtful responses, either, but I doubt she’d get much better responses if she gave them a week to think about it.
It’s the same resistance I see when people talk about the GTD weekly review. We’re pretty much ok with going over our tasks and doing some short-range planning, but when Allen insists we take that “50,000 foot view” of our lives – the Big Picture view – people tend to come up short.
And when Allen insists, over and over in virtually every interview with him I’ve ever heard or read, that we ask ourselves, “Is what I’m doing right now the most important thing I could be doing in my life?” I see the same resistance. Who am I kidding? I feel the same resistance. Maybe I’m cleaning up dog poop in the backyard, or playing BrickBreaker on my Blackberry – is that really the most important thing I could be doing?
Probably not.
But it strikes me as a really important question. What does make life worth living? And I think the reason people answer in such unsatisfying ways is that we’ve grown so used to defining ourselves in terms of possessions – possessions that literally feel like extensions of our self – that it’s hard to think of even the people close to us in any way other than as possessions, as “objects” with certain qualities that make us happy. Or, more often, don’t.
Which is to say, they’re all “things” that are external to us, no matter how much a part of our life they feel like. I think any question of what makes life worth living has to start with an inward look at one’s self, not an outward look at the people and things one surrounds one’s self with.
Instead, I think we need to address the question with our own actions, the things we do that make life worth living. Verbs, not nouns. When I think of how I would answer the question, the following behaviors come to mind:
- Creating: Writing, drawing, painting (though I’m not good at it), playing music (though I’m not especially good at that, either). For others, it might be inventing something, building a business, coming up with a clever marketing campaign, forming a non-profit.
- Relating: It’s not “family” that makes life worth living, I think, but the relationships we create with members of our family, and the way we maintain and build those relationships. Same goes for friends, lovers, business partners, students, and everyone else.
- Helping: Being able to lend a hand to people in need – however drastic or trivial that need may be – strikes me as an important part of life.
- Realizing: Making, working towards, and achieving goals, no matter what those goals are.
- Playing: Maybe this is a kind of “relating”, but then, play can be a solo affair as well. Letting go of restraints, imagining new possibilities, testing yourself against others or against yourself, finding humor and joy.
- Growing: Learning new things, improving my knowledge and ability in the things I’ve already learned.
Those seem like more satisfying answers to me – they strike deeper into what it is I want for myself, what makes it worthwhile to get up in the morning.
What about you? What makes your life worth living? Do you feel like I’m headed down the wrong path here? How would you answer the question, “What makes life worth living?”
Thursday, July 28, 2011
God Speaks . . . We Respond
Read 1 Samuel 16:14–23
Three timeless lessons ring through my head as I look at these significant scenes in David's life.
First, God's solutions are often strange and simple, so be open. We try to make God complex and complicated. He isn't. Amid all the complications with Saul and the throne, God simply said to Samuel, "Go where I tell you to go. I've got a simple answer. A new man. You just follow Me, and I'll show you." Don't make the carrying out of God's will complicated. It isn't. Stay open to His strange yet simple solutions.
Second, God's promotions are usually sudden and surprising, so be ready. At the time you least expect it, it'll come. Just like His Son's return from heaven. Suddenly and surprisingly He will split the clouds and be with us. Just when we expect Him the least He'll be there, like a thief in the night. And that's the way His promotions are. He watches you as you faithfully carry out your tasks, and He says to you, "I know what I'm doing. In a sudden and surprising moment, you be ready. I know where you are, and I know how to find you. You just stay ready as you carry out your job."
Finally, God's selections are always sovereign and sure, so be sensitive. That applies to choosing a mate as well as losing a mate. It applies to our being moved from one place to another, even though we thought we'd remain there ten more years. It also applies to those God appoints to fill the shoes of another. How easy to second-guess God's selections! How necessary, when tempted to do that, to remind ourselves that His selections are sovereign and sure.
God is looking at your town, your city, your neighborhood, and He's looking for His people to whom He can say, "You are Mine. I want to use you there because you proved yourself faithful there." The only difference is our geography. Our calling is to be faithful in the demanding tasks, whether that is our education, our marriage, our occupation, or just the daily grind of life. That's the kind of men and women God wants to use.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Inner struggle
Saturday, July 02, 2011
You & me
Had the first care-free, relaxed day since the 'storm'. I feel like we're all in the 'eye' of it. But somehow around us, me and my dad, it feels like the whole world is against us. Everyone is pointing the finger of blame at each of us. As much as it hurts and weariness is showing on my face... the mental emotional tiredness has not really gone away... there's an assurance in my heart that God's still there. I'm thankful for it.Today on your 60th Papa, I wish you true joy and peace and health. You've been the pillar of the family and will always always be my role model. I love you, dearly. It pains me, so deep, that you have to still go through this & not be enjoying life in peace at 60. But I know God will see us through and I'm so thankful that you've held strong through it too. I love you.
Blessed Birthday, Papa.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
God's Hands
His hands are strong and will uphold you;
His hands are great and will enfold you;
His hands are gentle and will embrace you;
His hands are protective and will cover you;
His hands are reassuring and will quiet you;
His hands are powerful and will defend you;
His hands are parental and will train you;
His hands are masterful and will conform you;
His hands are compassionate and will care for you;
His hands are healing and will renew you;
His hands are calming and will comfort you;
His hands are giving and will bless you.
The hands that hold you will never let you down.
-Roy Lessin,Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Home should be a safe place...
I'm so frustrated, I need to vent here. God, I don't have peace at home. Shouldn't home be the place where you can relax and be yourself? I find myself dreading to go home each night now. I have no peace! I wish I could easily pack up and move out. But it's complicated. Where can I find a physical place of solace God?
God I'm so so tired. Mentally, emotionally tired to the extent of not wanting to think about anything or do anything. It's beginning to affect my work. Although work is a good distraction. But I feel like just running away to a spot somewhere to be by myself. My own space to just forget this load of crap that is going on. I'm just not in the mood to do anything right now.
God I'm shaking. I know I have to stay strong but I feel like strength is leaving me. I feel lost. I feel helpless. I don't know what to do or what to say or how to react anymore. It's like I'm a time bomb waiting to explode.
God, you've sent me friends to support me in prayer. But when I meet them I feel like I have to wear a mask. A mask for those who don't know the whole story. Is it ok for me to show my weariness and wear a downcast mood day in day out, week after week to everyone? But if I do, I begin to find it a hassle when other people start asking. I know they care but it's painful to keep sharing the full story over and over again. It's like reliving each torturous moment with every person who's concern.
God, I don't want to lose my sanity. I don't want to let this affect my life. I don't want to reach my limit and break. Please help me. Please.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sometimes, it takes a while to pick up where we left off.
If sometime we meet again,
Would things still be the same?
Could we pick up where we left off,
Or would you even remember my name?
We go on with our separate lives,
But if someday our paths cross,
Could we bring back the past,
Or would everything be lost?
Would you still see me the same,
Or will all the feelings be gone away?
Will we have so much to talk about,
Or will we have nothing at all to say?
What hurts the most, was being so close.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
When You are the offender
When You Are the Offender, Part 1
by Charles R. Swindoll
Matthew 5:23–24 describes in a nutshell the correct response and procedure to follow when we have been in the wrong and have offended someone.
Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.
The scene is clear. A person in Jesus's day has come to worship. At that time, in keeping with the Jewish law and custom, worshipers brought sacrificial animals or birds with them. The sacrifice would be slain before God, providing cleansing of sin and a way of open access to prayer.
Today, it would simply be a Christian coming to his or her Father in prayer. Either way, the worshiper is suddenly seized with the inescapable thought, the painful realization that he or she has offended another person. In the words of Jesus, you "remember your brother has something against you."
What do you do? Stop! Don't ignore that realization. Don't just plunge on into prayer, even though that may be your first reaction. God wants us, rather, to be sensitive to His quiet prompting.
In verse 24, we are instructed to do four things:
- Stop—"leave your offering there."
- Go—"go your way."
- Reconcile—"first be reconciled."
- Return—"then come and present your offering."
The key term is reconciled. It's from a Greek verb that means we are commanded to go through a process that will result in a change. Clearly, the offender is to initiate the action.
That needs little clarification. We are to go (ideally, personally—if not possible, at least by phone or letter) and confess both the wrong and our grief over the offense, seeking the forgiveness of the one we wounded. Then, we are free to return to God in worship and prayer.
"But what if he or she won't forgive?"
When You Are the Offender, Part 2
by Charles R. Swindoll
Let's say you've mustered the courage to approach someone you've offended. You've confessed what you did with sincerity. You've asked for forgiveness. But he or she refuses to forgive you.
Now what?
The important thing for each of us to remember is that you are responsible for you, and I am responsible for me (Romans 12:18). With the right motive, in the right spirit, at the right time, out of obedience to God, we are to humble ourselves and attempt to make things right. God will honor our efforts.
The one offended may need time first to get over the shock and next to have God bring about a change in his or her heart. Healing sometimes takes time. Occasionally, a lot of time.
"What if the situation only gets worse?" Another good question frequently asked. This can happen. You see, all the time the one offended has been blaming you . . . thinking all kinds of bad things about you. When you go to make things right, you suddenly cause his or her internal scales to go out of balance. You take away the blame, and all that's left is the person's guilt, which does a number on him or her, resulting in even worse feelings. But now, it's no longer your fault.
"What if I decide simply to deal with it before God and not go through the hassle and embarrassment of talking with the other person?" We'll do anything to make things easier, won't we? Well, first off—that is a willful contradiction of the command. To paraphrase Jesus, "Stop, go, reconcile, and return!" (Matthew 5:24). Not to go is direct disobedience. It also can result in things getting worse.
Let's say I am driving away from your church parking lot next Sunday morning. I back my car into the side of your beautiful new Mercedes. CRUNCH! Your stomach churns as you see me get out of the car, look at the damage . . . and then bow in prayer:
Dear Lord, please forgive me for being so preoccupied and clumsy. And please give this dear brother grace as he sees the extensive damage I have caused out of sheer negligence. And provide what's needed as he takes this car in to have it fixed. Thanks, Lord. Amen.
As I drive away, I wave and smile real big as I yell out the window, "It's all cleared up, my friend. I claimed the damage before God. Isn't grace wonderful!"
Tell me, how does that grab you? I have rather strong doubts that it would suddenly make things okay with you, no matter how sincere my prayer might have been. You and I know that would do no good.
The Savior does not say, "Simply pray and I'll forgive you." In fact, He says, "Stop praying until you have made things right!"
One final question: "What if it is impossible for me to reconcile because the offended person has died?" Obviously, you cannot contact the dead. In such unique cases, I recommend that you share your burden of guilt with someone whom you can trust. A close friend, your mate, a counselor, or your pastor. Be specific and completely candid. Pray with that individual, and confess openly the wrong and the guilt of your soul. In such cases—and only in such cases—prayer and the presence of an understanding, affirming individual can provide the relief you need so desperately.
When you have been the cause of an offense, that is, when you are the offender, have the heart of a servant. Stop, go, reconcile, and then return.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Knowing Your Place
Nothing is higher than that !
God loves you with an everlasting love...
Nothing is deeper than that !
He invites you to drink from the river of His delights...
Nothing is purer than that !
He shares His heart with you in communion...
Nothing is dearer than that !
He watches over you with tender mercies...
Nothing is kinder that that !
He is with you and will never leave you...
Nothing is nearer than that !
He leads you according to the counsel of His own will...
Nothing is wiser than that !
He faithfully feeds you from His word...
Nothing is truer than that !
He is in you and joined to your spirit...
Nothing is closer than that !
-Roy Lessin
Friday, February 11, 2011
Finding Justice in Injustice
And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
I thought in my heart,
"God will bring to judgment both the righteous
and the wicked;
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time for every deed."
—Ecclesiastes 3:16-17 NIV
It's not often, Father, that we make such a statement, but today we thank You for the injustices in life that have crippled us and broken us and crushed us. Unfair circumstances have bruised us deeply and beaten us into submission to You. Inequities have brought us to such a dead end that we can't see the way back out. The only direction we can look is up. We often think that our unjust circumstance is what has ruined our lives . . . when instead, it could be the means You have ordained to give us life. Father, if those people we know who have trudged through the valley of the shadow of death were not alive today, walking with You and telling us to keep going, where would we be? How much we need their examples and encouragement! Thank You for each one.
In light of Your sovereign grace, we thank You for blindness, for paralysis, for loss, for death, for broken dreams, for dissolved partnerships, and for disillusionment. In faith, we praise You for times of insecurity, failure, divorce, and even those when others have treated us unjustly. We see the storm, but You enable us to also see beyond the storm, so we trust You to make all things just in Your time. We believe that You sovereignly intend for good what others intentionally mean for evil.
We pray for those facing the frustration of injustice in these and dozens of other categories. We ask that they may be able to find in Jesus Christ the strength to go on . . . especially those who have almost decided to give up. We pray that they will offer everything to You in full surrender. Everything.
In the name of Jesus Christ, the Conqueror. Amen.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Courage for the Discouraged
I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of the pit of
destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
—Psalm 40:1-2
Lord, we pray that You would bring relief when we are swamped with the ever-rising tide of discouragement. Grant deliverance for us who are caught in that swamp and start to slide into its slimy waters. Encourage our hearts as we face those depressing, dark moments that leave us feeling hopeless and believing the lie that things will never change. Father, give us hope beyond the heartbreaks we experience. We cling to the inspired words of the apostle Peter that if we humble ourselves before the mighty hand of God, You will lift us up. You will exalt us at the proper time. Discouragement keeps us humble, we confess, for we are never discouraged and bigheaded at the same time.
In humbleness, Father, we call upon You as Your children. We ask You to lift our spirits by transforming our minds. Strengthen us to see the value of dwelling on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report. Help us to fix our minds on heavenly things rather than on those earthly things that drag us down.
Give us a rallying point around Your grace, dear Lord. We need that point of focus, our times being as they are . . . and our moods so given to change. Thank You that Christ loves us and keeps on loving us. Thank You that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Thank You that the grace that saved us keeps us saved . . . regardless of our doubts and other weird feelings.
We also pray for those weary souls who have never met Your Son as Savior. How do they ever make it through the day? We ask that their burden of discouragement would be lifted by the realization that Jesus's death on the cross paid the complete price for their sins. Help them see past their pain to the reality that there is nothing they need to do or promise or change or give up or become . . . in order to be accepted by You. Help them to trust in Your Son. May they do so today.
Now to Him who is able to guard us from stumbling and to cause us to stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior . . . be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority . . . now and forever.
In His great name we pray. Amen.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Sticking with a Commitment
A full year before the apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, they had begun a project. No doubt they were filled with enthusiasm, the thrill of a fresh beginning. But with the passing of time, the newness had worn off. The spontaneous motivation to give had turned into a miserable marathon that dragged slowly on and on. So Paul urged them with a reminder of their commitment:
This is to your advantage, who were the first to begin a year ago not only to do this, but also to desire to do it. But now finish doing it also, so that just as there was the readiness to desire it, so there may be also the completion of it by your ability. (2 Corinthians 8:10-11)
Paul said, in effect, "Get with it! You made a commitment to get involved, to give, and to help out—now stick with that commitment!"
Becoming a giving person sounds exciting. But it costs something. It demands change, and no significant change ever got started without motivation and zeal.
Want a vivid illustration? Dieting. Oh, just the word brings up painful memories! Especially when I add exercising and jogging. Who hasn't had the experience? We finally get sick and tired of our flab. Zippers start ripping out; buttons pop off; the car leans dangerously to one side when we get in; the scales we step on punch out little cards that say, "Only one person at a time, please."
Okay, so we decide to thin down. In the fresh enthusiasm of zeal, we buy $100 sneakers, a couple $85 jogging outfits; we join a local fitness center (another $350); and we blow the dust off that miserable "Count Those Calories" booklet we bought years ago. We just know we're going to peel off 30 pounds!
The very first day we start with a flash. We hit the road, running like we're on fire. We drop our intake to 700 calories a day. We choke down dry toast, cottage cheese, sliced tomatoes, and boiled eggs! We snack on stuff that tastes like canary mix, and we sip on bitter herb tea until we think we're going to gag. By the third day, we're so sore we can only trot a half a block . . . so we get up later. Then Thanksgiving brings too many temptations, so we fudge . . . and finally gorge. In less than a month, our blimp is back in the hangar. And when the urge to exercise comes over us, we just lie down quietly until the urge goes away.
Sticking with any commitment is costly. And I can assure you, becoming a servant who gives and gives and gives to others is no exception. By comparison, it will make dieting look like a piece of cake (no pun intended).
Sunday, January 16, 2011
3.1
The answer: 3.1
Being saved is not just about believing. It's also about the doing. We were made for the 3.1
3 Commandments:
Matt 22:37 - 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.
John 15:12 - My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (referring to fellowship among believers)
Matt 22:39 - Love your neighbor as yourself. (referring to the world)
1 Commission:
Matt 28:19-20
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Genuine Humility
When we think of what the great apostle Paul was like, the idea of humility isn't the first one that jumps into our minds. Consider his own admission:
My message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God. (1 Corinthians 2:4-5)
Now for a preacher, that's quite a comment. The man comes up front and declares not only his lack of persuasiveness but his reason why—that they might not be impressed with his ability but rather with God's power.
There's something very authentic in Paul's humility. Over and over we read similar words in his writings. I'm convinced that those who were instructed face-to-face by the man became increasingly more impressed with the living Christ and less impressed with Paul.
When people follow image-conscious leaders, the leader is exalted. He is placed on a pedestal and ultimately takes the place of the head of the church.
But when people follow leaders with servant hearts, the Lord God is exalted. Those people speak of God's person, God's power, God's work, God's name, God's Word . . . all for God's glory.
Let me suggest a couple of revealing tests of humility:
1. A non-defensive spirit when confronted. This reveals a willingness to be accountable. Genuine humility operates on a rather simple philosophy:
Nothing to prove.
Nothing to lose.
2. An authentic desire to help others. I'm referring to a sensitive, spontaneous awareness of needs. A true servant stays in touch with the struggles others experience. There is that humility of mind that continually looks for ways to serve and to give.
In short, when it is genuine, humility becomes a conduit for the power of God.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Lists
Lists are everywhere. The sports page is full of them. Elsewhere we find lists of Academy Award winners, Pulitzer Prize winners, and beauty contest winners. The publishing world has its best-seller list, the music world its gold and platinum album lists, the financial world its Fortune 500 list. Even the religious world has its list of super churches, largest Sunday schools, biggest worship centers, or those giving most to missions.
Usually after looking over such lists, I wonder, Who really cares? It is doubtful that God has ever been impressed with the size of anything. His Book invariably ranks quality above quantity. As a matter of fact, He seems to delight in reminding us that greater glory to Him takes place when victory occurs in spite of the odds. As in David vs. Goliath. Or the Hebrews vs. the Egyptians at the Red Sea. Or Gideon's few. Or Jesus' small band of disciples.
But about the time I'm ready to suggest that we ignore all lists, I come across a list in the Scriptures! Dozens of them, in fact!
For example, God not only lists the Ten Commandments that depict His holy character, He lists the things He hates to find among His creatures. Remember them? Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, one who spreads strife among brothers (Prov. 6:16-19).
The apostle Paul helps us out by listing "the fruit of the Spirit" (Gal. 5:22-23). Elsewhere, Paul lists the gifts of the Spirit in several of his letters (Rom. 12:6-8; 1 Cor. 12:28; Eph. 4:11), Peter lists the qualities of a maturing Christian (2 Pet. 1:5-8), and John lists the first-century churches that represented examples worth noting (Rev. 2:1-3, 22). There are lists of qualifications for being an elder and also for being a deacon.
Lists, lists, and more lists! And since they are authored by the living Lord, we'd be wise to read and heed each one.
Even though it finds its origin in one whose life was not centered on Christ our Lord, Mahatma Gandhi's own list of "seven deadly sins" in the form of contrasts deserves our attention: wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, worship without sacrifice, politics without principle.
Now, there's a list to heed and not carry out!
The prophet Micah names the absolute basics "required" by the Lord.
The next time you're feeling that living for God is getting too complicated, blow the dust off Micah's list: to do justice,
to love kindness, to walk humbly with God.

