Nostalgic Paranoia.


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JOLEEN is the TRACKER who was in 104 204 305. Is totally in love with track, though softball is nicee. God comes first in everything, needless to say. Is a jumper, sprinter, middle distance runner and hurdler. LOVES 800m and 1500m, loves the race but hates the lactic. RELAYS are the best. Craziness and insanity is my thing. joleen.wong@hotmail.com

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August 2009
September 2009

Friday, September 25, 2009, 7:31 PM

I HAVE MOVED TO THISLITTLESTCLOVE.XANGA.COM




Sunday, September 20, 2009, 4:01 PM
Even the day must give way to the night

The Beauty of how beautiful you are to me,

FINALLY BOUGHT MY NEW WALLET. Sermon was quite okay today, thought it was really strong. Yeah but i thought that it was quite meaningful, something that woould stimulate deep thought. Was thinking about going night cycling, but mum didnt allow, so oh well. Studies in church, the ate lunch all there. Damn nonsense our lunch. Hahah.

After church went tampines to buy wallet with bryan, quite funny since we were walking everywhere and didnt know where to go and all. But quite useful and all, if ound out wheres the rubbish dump lift and all where its really empty without the rush of pedestrians. Yeah so bought a new billabong wallet. Yesterdy bought new adizeros and school shoes. Okay getting really sleepy so i think i should probably go take a nap or something.

And if your eyes are the last things that i see, then i know the beauty that heaven holds for me.

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Saturday, September 19, 2009, 2:01 PM
I'm glad we're on this one way street, just you and i

You're not gone but you're not here,

Okay this is completely random post in the middle of the day. A maths tuition this morning, feeling both smarter and dumber as the days pass. But i can't completely concentrate on something now, i just find that when i try to give an equation my fullest attention, i'll just end up staring at the paper, my mind running away to other things that probably wont get me anywhere in school. Maybe this is why its so damn hard to remember formulas.

Yeah so i feel so exhausted nowadays that i all i want to do is go home and collapse on the bed. But when i do, i can't sleep, cos my mind is still running and i keep thinking about things that can't get me to sleep. And the dreams aren't helping, their just making me more tired. I have no idea why. Maybe its because their just so intense and active. OKAY this isn't helping, i think i shoud just empty my mind and have a proper rest for once.

Going out today i think to buy my new adizeros. Apparently i cant buy the ones i want cos iys affecting my knee and all and blah blah blah. Tomorrow after church i guess i'm just going to walk round tampines to get a new wallet, alone. Hmph. Oh well. And now i'm just listening to my mum's old albums over and over again cos their so sweet, haha.

Truth be told, you take my breath away, every minute every hour of every day

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Friday, September 18, 2009, 6:40 PM
Gotta beat the clock

SAMANTHA LEFT ME BORED IN LIT TODAY. haha i didnt expect her to skip school but, oh well she did. Cant really remember what happened in schook today, just remember laughing alot with francesca. And OMG I had to stay back after school to finish the chinese holiday homework blah blah blah.

Took bus home, then now i guess i'm waiting to start studying again, most probably A Math again. I dont want to fail a math again, but it really suckksss. Oh well, i opted for it so i guess i'm stuck with it. Its been quite a lonely day for me, but i got alot of alone time. I guess thats good? Yeah. But its been lonely, i'm itching to call someone and talk on the phone, but oh well.

I swore to share your joy and your pain, and i swear it all over again

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Thursday, September 17, 2009, 7:52 PM
Cat in the chemistry lab

Lit really set me thinking today, cos of the mayella and bob ewell thing, about who is more evil and all. Personally i think that mayella is worse, but i'm too lazy to elaborate now, so yeah.

Biology spa today was surprisingly fruitful as i managed to complete the whole experiment AND finish the test paper within the hour. Guess its not that tough, plus msT didnt comment on my entire procedure at all. But the funny thing was during chem when a cat suddelny came into the chemistry lab and hid behind the cupboard, and then suddenly jumped on the teacher's table. In the end Nikkolette carried it outside, so yeah.

Training today was horrible, i was practically dependant on the tape to run and sprint with the 17.5 kg sled and all. I'm scared, that my fitness will drop, now that we have to step down for exams, so i guess i have to find time to start self-training in school or at bedok stadium or bedok reservoir or whatever. But i hate my legs now, their like freaking big, i dont want sprinter's legs.

Every moment we share together is even better than the moment before

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Wednesday, September 16, 2009, 7:23 PM
What my life would be, holding you close to me

Went for physio checkup today. Things are not exactly looking good. Not going to elaborate. But now i know who cares, who's always there.

Today by A maths i was practically brain dead. I was just staring at the board trying to absorb and understand whats going on on the board. I wish my brain was a sponge, readily soaking up information. But the drawback is, a sponge can easily release water when its squeezed, easier than soaking up water. But I'm still scared, of getting the red slip at the end of the year. But in chemistry, i'm either falling asleep, or fooling around. I should seriously stop, and try to concentrate. I guess the reality of the EOY attack has not exactly set in yet. The only subject i'm studying now is biology.

People like to use tha analogy of a long cross country race, or a hurdle event, to represent our whole time of studying in secondary school, that each hurdle is like an exam. The thing is, when i fail an exam, i hit down a hurdle. Everyone says its easier to get back up once you hit down a hurdle an fall. But what they dont know is, when you hit a hurdle down, you lose your momentum, and its going to be hard getting it back. And what if you hit down every hurdle in the race, and at the finish line you look back at a whole lane of collapsed hurdles? But what mr zehnder said was right. When you clear a hurdle, you dont look below at the hurdle, you look and aim at clearing the next.

I guess life should be like that too.

I swore my love would remain, and i swear it all over again

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Tuesday, September 15, 2009, 7:50 PM
And i feel like such an insomniac

School was fun today, Francesca and I laughing and talking super loudly sometimes with Abi and Natalia. And SAM THIAN! haha okay so both sam and i brought our cameras to school today and we sat at the back and slacking as usual. Friends are such blessings, dont you think?

Cried after school cos i failed biology. bloody hell. But everything goes back to normal when i'm on the TRACK. Its like, No matter how badly the day has gone, or how bad everything is, running takes it all away, whether be it the lactic, the tiredness or the adrenaline rush of hurdling(okay this suddenly reminds me of the endocrine system). But things are not looking good, my knee injury is back. So now when i run i'm once more dependant on my patella brace. NOT good. But at least i can do the three steps between each hurdle, now just have to work on speed. Thats something i dont have. And today's 4x100m relay passing was screwed, cos i looked behind before recieving the baton. And as a result only managed to overtake heather at the last 2m of the run. Damn. And one thing i have to really work on is arm swing, i think i looked like a freak when i run with the weights.
Now trying to convince mum to let me go for my knee checkup instead of chinese tuition, but oh well. Doubt i can. But the sooner this is resolved the faster this load can get off my mind. This knee injury has been bothering me for THREE years. Not good. Nothing i can do now except to pray. And i'm so scared now that i would get a red slip at the end of the year, I dont want to drop any subjects. This is probably one of my worst fears.
And even though sometimes your ways I cannot understand, i'll never walk away because my future's in your hands

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Monday, September 14, 2009, 5:48 PM
He sees each tear that falls

Haven't been posting lately, partly because, well, i used livejournal for a few posts that i didnt want anyone to read, and yeah maybe i'm just lazy? Oh well. OKAY i've got to find a way tell people the link without SOMEONE finding out but abit hard? Oh well, life's tough.

So, got a NEW camera for birthday, whoots. YAY haha i just found out i got the same camera as SamT!! Hahah awesomenessss. And tmr got the whole of Lit to use them like crazyy. HAHA SamT is one of the besstt. And i blew 60 bucks on a nike bag, but its worth it i guess:) But the thing about blogger is that THERE ISNT SMILIES. Oh well. DAMN. mum just saw me blogging and well, shes not happy. Things are getting riskier nowadays. Maybe i should stop taking chances? But the thing is, the more i try to force my life to how it was before, it still feels, wrong. Like there's something out of place. Is it because I've already been so captivated by the glow that nothing feels the same anymore? Oh well.

Today MrsC came for class half an hour late AGAIN(NO ONES COMPLAINING) so francesca, SamT, Abi, Natalia and i were talking for damnnn long, complaining and talking and bitching about everything under the sun(well, everything under the school roof). Then mrsC came so we had to endure an hour of maths, not counting the half an hour she was late. Thats the only bad thing about mondays, the 3 periods of maths. After school had to wait for mei to finish so sat in canteen with some three-fivers and started talkig AGAIN. haha. Then went home.

OKAY this is crazy this is the THIRD time i'm editing this post cos i'm so bored. Oh well. I still owe lao shi her holiday homework, and i have to pass it up by the end of the week. Oh thats just great. HAHA its taking me so much longer to copy out the 270 chinese words then last week. AND HOORAY HOORAY i'm doing it on my own accord(seriously).

OKAY. ENOUGH. CA IS COMING. EOYS ARE COMING. STUDY HARD. BE A GOOD GIRL. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. NOW.

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Friday, August 28, 2009, 7:45 PM
But I can't handle an eclipse

I don't know what to do.
This is not what i bargained for.
And i thought you were perfect.

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 10:13 PM
HAPPY 15TH TO ME!

THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE FANTASTIC BIRTHDAY! thanks to all the people who has been there to make a difference in my life, especially these few friends:

JOHN: my twin buff blubber brother, through all the emoing and laming
BRYAN: for the card and gift and for being such an awesome friend
SONIA: for being an awesome track friend and pacemaker
IAN: for EVERYTHINGGGGG:) LOVE YOU
DARREN: for being such a wonderful (self-proclaimed) best friend
LUCAS: whose always tehre to listen
JOEY: for being such an awesome friend in school
RACHEL: for being such a close friend since sec 1
WANXIN: for being such an awesome and understanding track senior!
KC TRACK: for being such an awesome track tem with the cake, cake fights and all the awesome working hard!