Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Nahanni's Poem for Alma

Nahanni wrote this for Alma, during the first week of her life, when everything was uncertain.



* * *

Are those silent seizures behind your peaceful lids
or a long deep sleep
that will last into eternity
or maybe just until tomorrow

when you can awaken
ready to forgive the world
for what it did to you

pushing you out in a rush
into a choking pain and panic
to a world of tubes and wires and strange voices

so far from me
so far from where you should have been
wrapped in my arms
feeling my skin and that first eye meeting
falling asleep on Ned
coming home to your big sister
the one who was waiting for you with chocolate cake
who knew you wouldn't be able to talk or play yet
but would wait patiently to watch you grow
and take your first step

I wouldn't blame you for deciding against this world
for lingering so long between here and somewhere else
or waiting for us to prove our love again

our love
which holds you
wherever you are
and wherever you go

עלמא הלכה לעולמה ; Announcement, September 7

September 7, 2010
כ"ח באלול תש"ע

In sorrow, we announce the passing of our beloved infant daughter, Alma Aviva Rous Lazarus, at the age of 41 days.

She will be buried tomorrow morning in a private service beside the Rous family home in Durham, New Hampshire.

For those who wish to join us in mourning, we will be sitting Shiva immediately following the burial tomorrow, September 8 between 11am and 5pm, at the home of Alma's grandparents, Walter and Emma Rous. Shiva will end with the arrival of Rosh HaShanah tomorrow evening. We would also welcome visitors during the day on Friday the 10th. [We will also take time to remember Alma with our loved ones in Washington, DC, later this month]

We wish to express our deepest gratitude to all of our family, friends and community, who have surrounded Alma and all of us with constant love and support throughout her life.

In loving memory,

Nahanni, Ned and Shalvah

Note: In place of flowers or cards, we hope to honor Alma by making contributions in her memory to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Elliot Hospital in Manchester, New Hampshire. Alma and all of us received loving care from all of the staff there, every day and night of her life.

To donate online: https://www.elliothospital.org/_newsite/donate.asp

* * *

בצער עמוק אנו מודיעים על פטירתה של עלמא אביבה, בתנו הטרייה, התמימה והאהובה, שהלכה לעולמה בערב יום שלישי, כ"ח באלול תש"ע, בגיל 41 ימים.

אנו אסירי תודה לכל חברינו, קרובינו וקהילותינו אשר הקיפו אותנו באהבה ותמיכה לאורך כל ימי חייה של עלמא ז"ל

יהי נשמתה התהורה צרורה בצרור החיים

נהני, נד ושלוה

במקום לשלוח פרחים או כל פריט של תנחומים, אנו מבקשים לכבד את זכרה של עלמא עם תרומות לביה"ח אליות במאנצ'סטר, ניו המפשיר, בו טיפלו בה כל הצוות באהבה ומסירות אמיתית כל ימי חייה.
https://www.elliothospital.org/_newsite/donate.asp

ברוך דין אמת

Thank you to the NICU

ATTN: Douglas F. Dean, Jr. President and CEO, The Elliot Hospital, Manchester, NH

August 29, 2010

Dear Sir,

We are writing to you to commend the work of the entire NICU staff, who have provided outstanding care for our newborn daughter and ourselves, every day and night since our arrival here one month ago. We wish to express our deepest gratitude to the hospital, the NICU and to all of the people who have helped our daughter at every turn, in every possible way, and supported our family through what has been the most difficult time of our lives.

To explain, our second daughter, Alma, was born at Exeter Hospital on July 29 of this year in gravely difficult circumstances, due to umbilical cord prolapse and prolonged oxygen deprivation. Alma was resuscitated and immediately transferred to the Elliot NICU, where she has been ever since. We have been here all this time as well; the NICU has essentially been our home for this month. In time, it became clear to the doctors here that Alma had suffered severe and irreparable cerebral injuries, and we now know that she will live out the entirety of her life here.

The NICU staff, of every role and rank, have cared for our daughter and for us in the most empathic, generous, respectful, sensitive and professional way throughout this time. We have been moved by the kindness of the staff and unfailingly impressed by the levels of care and dedication here. The staff have done everything imaginable to help guide us through this crisis. After one month, we know most of the staff by name, and they know us. That mutual recognition is exemplary of the degree of personal attention and genuine concern with which they carry out the work of healing and comforting fragile infants and their families.

In particular, we wish to commend those staff who have worked with us intensively throughout Alma’s life. Our nurses Alyssa, Jenn, Kim, Lori, Melina, Nancy, Rose and Sylvia, among many others, have been with us day and night, have held, bathed, changed and comforted our daughter as we have during her brief and tumultuous life. They know her as we do, and share our love and concern for her. We cannot fully express the relief they have brought us amidst our struggle.

Doctor Kevin Petit guided us through the first weeks of Alma’s life, from her arrival at the NICU. Dr. Petit and colleagues, Doctors Earnest Beale, Malgorzata Bulanowski, Deborah Franzek and Kara Murphy, made themselves available to us on a daily basis, conveyed detailed information on Alma’s health with honesty and humility, answered our every question, and went out of their way to engage with us during the painful process of understanding Alma’s future. They listened to our observations, took time to carefully assess Alma’s condition, and supported us in our search for guidance, inside and outside the hospital.

We would also like to thank and commend Practitioners Amanda, Andrea, Mark and Michelle, Occupational Therapist Shari, Maternity Nurse Katrina, Obstetrician Dr. Heidi Meinze, Pediatric Neurologists Dr. Brian Kossak and Dr. Anne Woods, Social Worker Ashley, Postpartum Counselor Allison, receptionists Dara, Gayle, Megan and Melody, Financial Counselor Nancy and Reverend Carol for their kindness, counsel and compassion for Alma and for us. We also wish to thank those many NICU staff people who we met only on occasion, but all of whom were gracious and helpful to us at every opportunity.

In addition to the remarkable individuals we came to know during our time here, we have come to know the NICU as a caring and dedicated community of people, who make an outstanding professional impression. Their work is the reason that we will always remember Elliot Hospital with the greatest respect and appreciation, despite the tragic nature of our time here. We wish to express our deepest gratitude to you for the remarkable care that we and our daughter have received.

Yours,

Alma’s Parents
Ned Lazarus and Nahanni Rous

* * *







Alma Aviva ז"ל, July 29-September 6, 2010

Alma lived for 41 days. She will be in our hearts and our memories forever. Alma will always be our daughter, Shalvah's sister, part of our family, though she will not share the rest of our lives with us.



I couldn't bring myself to post anything other than images here for much of her lifetime, and nothing since. But it is approaching thirty days since she left this world, the time that marks passage from the acute stages of mourning in Jewish tradition. I want to mark this by beginning to tell the story of her life in our lives, and sharing some of the words that her life inspired for us.



יהי זכרה ברוך

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

They seem to pick up on the kickboxer thing really quick





Three year old quote of the day

I'm driving Shalvah home, and making some dad-joke that I think is funny:

"Aba, you're being a little bit irritating."