maybe i should take a break...

I'm so bored. I can't seem to be able to tear myself away from the com. Sigh. I'm almost addicted to blogging. Help.

Anyway, I'm just thinking of JC days and all my time spent with V^Choir and yet again, I think of all the great times I had with my friends and how we would just sit around and start singing, how someone would start singing something and the rest would just join in. Sigh. These are really wonderful memories, etched deeply in my mind, and I really don't ever want to forget these beautiful picturesque memories which are absolutely priceless.

I'm seriously in deep sh*t. I miss choir so much that I think of all the good times I spent almost every other week. Sigh. It's really time to move on, and think of new things rather than desperately holding onto the past. Sigh. I love my choir pals dearly!

I am thinking of our Genting trip which was so spontaneous, so last minute, how sh, jean and me decided to go to Genting just one week before the choir left Singapore, just one day after prom, how we packed our things and left for Genting, cramming 3 new songs in one week, memorising them, jean helping me with the lyrics of "voyage of songs" and my choir mates supporting us all the way for Kucinta and Reminiscence of Hainan, how we three year twos (then) crazily shared one room meant for two, having pizza and baked potatoes, going shopping, loving every moment we had on stage.. Sigh.

Thoughts are flooding my brain, and it doesn't seem to stop coming. I'm incoherent, but I don't really care. Oh I miss my friends, choir and jc life soo much. Sigh. Of course I miss my classmates too! How we sat in the concourse with the intention of studying but how we ended up sharing our deepest secrets..

I'm loving it all. I've loved, lost and will love again (hopefully). I hope I'll be able to find something which would make me so passionate..yup. Love ya friends!

~Angel~
Sarah McLaughan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
That feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep through my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from a wreckage
Of your silent reverie
In the arms of an angel
May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight lines
And everywhere you turn
Vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack

Don't make no difference
Escape one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from a wreckage
Of your silent reverie
In the arms of an angel
May you find some comfort here

In the arms of an angel
May you find some comfort

I think I'm going mad. Suffering from post camp withdrawal symptoms. Haha. I pity my colleagues, cos they had to put up with my nonsense, though I was really glad to see all of them again today. Had loads of things to do today, and I was really exhausted by five plus, and so I went mad. Started typing rubbish on an email my colleague wanted to send out to her candidate. Owell. But I really had a good laugh just to relieve the pent-up stress in me. Gee.

Anyway, I had so many recruitment consultants to call today.. Made about 28 calls which drove me mad. Drove me up the hill, down the hill, drove me round a bend, drove myself up the wall and down again. Ha. My brain felt sloshed around as if it was in a blender, on it's way to become star**cks' newest creation. Brain Frap. Haha. Help.

I'm tired! I'm sleepy! I am dying of boredom! I'm conking off to sleep. Maybe I'll just hit the sack now. :)

I seriously have no idea what am I doing awake at this ungodly hour of the day. It's 2.35am, and I am wide awake, online with nothing to do, and so here I am, yet again, typing another post into this plain, good old blog of mine. :) shiok.

Anyway, I'm back from a huge treat from kor - he treated us to dinner at Crystal Jade Restaurant at Tampines Mall.. Then I went to PS to meet my og mates, then hung around Esplanade.. I don't know if I should go for O-week. Sigh. I don't mind, really, I don't, cos at least I won't be so lost, but heck, I want my own personal space and time to play and have fun too.. What should I do?

Sigh. The thought of going back to work on Monday really freaks me out. I don't wish to go to work! Have to wake up at 6.45am, then leave house by 7.30am just to reach office before 8.30am. The only thing that motivates me to go to work is the fact that I'm being paid fifty a day.. Haha. I seem to be repeating myself, but oh what the heck!

Okay. I'm going to try sleep now. Going to read Grisham's The Street Lawyer! :) Hee. Haven't had much time to read these days... Owell.. Goodnite peeps!

Heh. I'm back from camp. I'm super sleepy, tired, and exhausted, but it was really fun. :) No regrets at all going for the camp.. No regrets despite losing one week's pay. Heh. Stupid YC wanted me to go back to work on Friday afternon on the context of having many interviews for me to arrange. Damn. Of course I didn't go back.. I was totally tired when I came home on Friday, and I slept the whole day! :) Shiok. But I'm still very sleepy now..

Haiz. How I wish that camp was just next week. I think I'm going to experience withdrawal symptoms when I finally go back to work on Monday, cos it's going to be a stark contrast from one whole week full of fun activities as compared to work. Gee. The $50/day pay is the only thing that motivates me. Haha.

Anyway, as for the camp, below are the highlights/summary per day! :)

Day ONE: OG games and House games in the morning. pool games in the afternoon. SP game and blindfold walk at night. Slept from 3-7. :)

Day TWO: Mass Dance in the morning. Faculty Walk cum Games in the late morning. Dirty War Games in the afternoon. Bash at night @ Newsroom Bar. Slept from 3.30-7.

Day THREE: Mass Dance in the morning. Sentosa the whole day. Wet/Dry/Sand games in the afternoon. Fright Night and Night blindness at night. Slept from 5-7.

Day FOUR: Inter-faculty games in the morning. Late lunch. Talks about Rag and Flag in the afternoon, then preparation for Finale item. BBQ dinner. Finale which ended at 2.40am. Mass Danced, shook hands with the councillors, bathed at 5am. Stayed outside LT 7A to play games. Heh.

Day FIVE(unofficial): Wanted Macs breakfast, but instead had breakfast at Engin canteen. Went home via cab - cost me $20! :S

Owell. As you can see, I'm getting really tired, cos I'm really very tired. I'm incoherent.. Sigh. I need sleep and food! :)

I'm home from the outing at Suntec, it was pretty fun, and I missed my classmates so much, though it technically wasn't a class gathering cos it was more like a girls afternoon out. :) minus our class couple.. haha. As usual, it seems like we all love the macs at suntec cos we can just sit there and talk and talk till kingdom comes, gossiping about everyone else.. haha. I really loved meeting up with them! I felt really sad when five o'clock came, cos grass had to go to her dad's shop, xb had to go meet her bf, and so we all headed home.. Sigh. It's jh's bday next week, and think we're meeting again this coming saturday - a gathering, and I think crys is going to organise a class gathering, this time, guys included. Boy.

I miss school. I miss lessons. I miss tutorials. I miss lectures. I miss fooling around during lectures, sitting at the exact same spot in LT1 for lectures squashed between crys and grass, talking to them about everything, sneaking in 8 days magazine during lectures, eating, snacking, sleeping.. Gosh. I was such a horrible student. Okay! I didn't sleep during lectures, but I wasn't listening.. Just copied whatever I had to copy, with my ears shut. Haha. Well, I guess that explains my horrible results right.

I miss choir. I miss singing in a choir, I miss singing with friends. I miss how choir took up so much of my time after school, slacking around with my dear choir pals who have become my really good pals subsequently.. How we travelled to Prague together in Year One for competition, how we took part in Orientation 2003 as OGLs, how we took part in MusicFest, how we practiced so hard for SYF last year, the endless practices and singing lying down, how we sang in quartet position and in small groups and in quartets on stage for everyone else, how we crazily decided to travel to Genting just one week before the choir took off in December last year, being forced to learn three new songs and memorise them in three days.. and subsequently all of us working as Customer Service Representatives at Telecentre Singapore early this year for two whole months.. Gosh.

I think all the meetings this week with my friends from JC made me almost mad with holding on to the memories of the past. I'm nearly incoherent tonight due to the abundant thoughts gushing out of my brain, waiting for me to type them all out.. But gosh, my brain is working faster than I can type, so my thoughts are all jumbled up, mixed up and sloshed around like juice in a blender.

Pardon me! I love all my friends out there! *muacks*

Sadly, I don't have much to miss about my secondary school life and secondary school friends. I guess it's because my JC life was so fulfilling that it masked all the hype and activity in secondary school.. Owell. It's too bad then.

I'm running late for my meeting with my class people at Suntec, but guess what, I really have to blog about this.

I'm listening to the recording of Water Night sung by V^Choir in 2003, though I don't remember where we sung that - it's either during SYF, SYF finals or Genting. But hell, it's really damn good. Everytime I listen to this song, I think of SYF*finals and how we were all at Esplanade last year, how we huddled round in a circle to sing No Man, how we tried our best but still lost, how we went to Genting and sang our best despite the horrid weather and itchy throats and what not. I guess the reason why I enjoyed meeting up with my choir friends (FS!!!) is because we usually end up singing and talking about everything under the sun, and that everyone is just so at ease with everyone else.. Gee. It's like how someone can start singing something and the rst would just join in, and we'll start making a fool of ourselves at City Hall MRT Station. Standing in a circle to talk, sing, laugh, cheer each other on.. Gosh.

Listening to Water Night really makes me tear. I think of everything I went through with friends, with the choir, at overseas comeptitions, and that I truly feel that my JC life has certainly been very fruitful and I really have no regrets, though I ended up not performing well for the A level exams. But heck! Everyone starts on a clean slate in the uni right, and A level results do not matter anymore... :)

Love my friends, my good old pals, my wonderfully "Streets of London" companions.. *muacks*

Gee. I'm such a bum. I wanted to wake up early today to swim, so I set my alarm clock to ring at 745am, but guess what. I woke up at the deafening sound of the alock, but I promptly fell back asleep shortly after. Argh. So this means two weeks without swimming. How wonderful.

Heh. I'm going out today, yet again, going to meet my bunch of JC classmates for lunch. Heh. I'm broke! I only have something like 3 bucks left, so I guess I'm going to eat at home first before going. :) Cheers to me and me being totally broke. Sigh.

Gonna end this post here! Seeya!

Meeting up with old friends may be something fun and exciting to look forward to, but it seems like my enthusiasm for meeting up with EHD altogether has died. Things just aren't the way they were a couple of years back. Meeting up with EHD today nearly ripped my guts out. I was bored, tired and well, simply bored. Realised that there's almost nothing in common between us, and that there's nothing interesting to talk about. After a long period of no-contact, a meeting which was supposed to patch things up and perhaps salvage the friendship has just gone down the drain. Gee.

I guess it's purely my fault resulting in me feeling bored. Cos I went for the meeting with a heavy heart, and perhaps the fact that I had one other gathering so far this week kinda triggered my subconcious mind to compare the meetings - certainly the first meeting was much more fun, at ease, relaxed and I was certainly very happy to meet my friends! :) Sigh.

I have no intent whatsoever, and never hoped that anything good would come out of this meeting. This meeting has just reinforced the fact that once things have change, it's absolutely irreversible.

I seriously think that having a blog is pretty horrible, cos I am aware that my friends do read this, and hence I have my reservations everytime I log into this blog to type something. This is probably the third time I'm logging into this blog in an attempt to type a decent entry, but I can't seem to do so. It's like, with an audience, I can't really type what I really want to, and I can't stand it. Which makes me really wonder why on earth did I even start one in the first place huh! Sigh.

Life has been pretty smooth sailing these days, I'm enjoying my work a lot. Perhaps it's because of the fact that I'm going on one week off next week, cos I'm going for engin camp, and I certainly hope it's going to be good. Gee. I was just thinking of all the opportunity costs involved in me taking part in the camp - the loss of one week's pay and the upfront payment of $45 which is the camp fees. Well, but I guess the benefits that come along with going is that I'm certain that I won't be one lost soul on my very first day of school. Practically all my friends and classmates are going to SMU or NTU to do Accountancy. How "interesting" isn't it?! The only person I know going to Engin at NUS this year so happens to be a classmate of mine who is not at all close to my group of classmates I always hang out with. Owells.

Nonetheless, I'm going to spend my time wisely now that I am still on my long vacation from school, and the thought of not working at RE makes me pretty sad, cos my colleagues are a bunch of really wonderful people who are really nice, less the office politics. I'm thinking of buying them something on my very last day of work, but I have no idea what to buy.. Should I buy cakes for everyone to share, or should I buy food to stock up in the pantry? Or should I make something for all of them? I wonder. Hee.

Anyway, I'm excited about school, can't wait to start studying again, but I think of studying for four years without any constant source of income makes me shiver. I really wonder how things would be like if mum and dad stops their current business. Gee. Well, I'll enjoy life while I can! I hope my boss would let me go on the 23rd of July, so that I will have one week to myself before Orientation Week! :)

Wow. I'm finally almost done with starting up a new blog, one that is open to the public. I guess it's going to be pretty weird, cos I will be filtering whatever I post or say online. Well, this is MY blog, I can do whatever I want to with it, right?

Haha. Well, I've decided to start with a super plain blog without any pictures whatsoever. I hate pictures on blogs. They take ages to load, and that since the picture is not mine, I won't want to post it up. Well, I just want a simple blog, for the simple me.