梦想。2006

今天给诸位懵懵懂懂的小老板们出了道作文题目：《我的梦想。2006》。总觉得他们应该没什么好写，但是我偏偏想出这道题给他们。一方面，想知道小老板们的脑袋瓜里都存放着些什么；二来，想让那些虚度光阴的一点点的推动；再来，当然是看他们的文笔能在未来的六个月里走出课室，进入各位考官的眼帘否。

谁知道，“无心插柳，柳成荫”，我倒也摆了自己一道 -- 我的梦想有是什么呢？和各位小老板们比起来，我的梦想不能再局限于2006， 我还有多少个25年呀？想来想去，来来去去的梦想有很多，但是自小没有离开过心坎及脑海的是我那小小的明星梦……哈哈哈！ 我的k 歌好友如果看到这一片肯定又要笑破肚皮、和我翻白眼了。

可是！！ 但是！！这的确是我的小小的梦想。可能吗？主在为我设计的人生蓝图里可有将这一项绘入？我胆子够大吗？经过这几年的磨练，我发现我的里外不一；强悍的外表隐藏着脆弱不堪的我，爱好刺激和挑战底下有着‘胆小’的毛毛虫在不停地蠕动着，热爱生活的火焰里却包裹着一颗喜欢孤立自己的旱冰，想要追寻梦想的那份狂热常常被自己的许多“万一、如果、可是、”逐渐熄灭。我的里外不一好像满严重的喔！ 呵呵！没办法，我就是如此……改不了了。

现在……我在想下一次的小小房间里的小小演唱会在几时？想着。想着。

Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

Easter Sunday, a special sunday indeed... not only becos it reminded me that Christ resurrected on this day, i was especially reminded of His Grace in a measure that i have not encountered.

2 weeks back during one of the leaders' meeting, Ps Julie said in order to be a conqueror, we must have something to conquer first, then she followed with this question "What is it that you want to conquer?" Faced with a tough challenge at that point in time, my answer in my heart was "Myself".....

Its always easy to say and sing " Tell the world...", it was impossible for me to sing that last 2 weeks, cos the Lord with His truth challenged me to share Christ with someone unlovable and at times irritable...so that she have a chance to know of His salvation.

Its a tough challenge for me cos she is neither a stranger nor a loved one to me,there is this tension within me, to obey God and my discomfort. Prayed... tried.. words simply got stuck at the edge of my lips...

On easter sunday, as i stepped into the congregation worship, looking at the snippets, listening to the words of song, i crumbled in the face of grace of God... felt so weak, so unworthy as my heart was reluctant to obey. Caught a glimpse of the grief when Peter failed, caught a glimpse of His grace thats sufficient for me to "Tell the world..." at the end of worship.

Victory and breakthru came on Easter Sunday night, when the words finally come out " Do u know who is Jesus?"...... remembering something gor told me, no one can run faster than God... true, cos i dejava vued after i shared Christ... Indeed its in His Hands! found comfort in that and His words (Phil 4:13)totally on Easter Sunday.. All Glory to Him!!!!!!! Amen!

Good note :)

Monday ended off with a lousy note... but this week, thank God!! it still ended on a good note.. counting my blessings :)

Had been a happening and tiring week, but God's strength and grace has been more than enuff for me to finish this week and a blessing (bonus!) found its way to me when my beloved uncle blessed me with a new phone!!! keke...he has always been blessing me with phones... if u guys think im rich, been changing phones.. salah!! its God who is rich :) keke.. blessed thru my uncle,my first camera phone! No pics to upload yet, but will soon.. n had a fun time taking pretty pics during cell.

Ramblings!!!!

It was a mixed feelings monday... the day and most part of the evening have been good even though sleepy lian was at work.. due to lack of sleep over the weekends.. long long story.

It ended off with a horrible note.. never felt so horrible at lending a helping hand, though help was not even given, jus a question to offer help. Was branded a kaypoh for being kind!!!!!!! What kind of @!^#*@^#@* was that?????? Never felt like getting off a taxi as fast as possible as yest night, the uncle jus went on n on n on.... even though i wasnt responding to his 'lecture'.

Never never felt so horrible... he seems to be able to find something to 'lecture' me throughout the journey.. even my dad does not do that to me. It wasnt a kind teach u something new for free lesson, it really made me feel so horrible about myself, i dunno wat it is, but when i reflected upon it when i reached home, i realised, this is the kind of moral education i received too - kind = kaypoh. AARrrgghhh!!!! Question: do i still want to be kind and do good to others? yes.. but i guess i need sometime to let this distasteful memory go away...