when will all the roller coasting emotions end? i am looking forward to it. hope i am getting and seeing the tailend of all things.

I want normality, not conjuring of nonsense in my head nor some lame or vague excuses to continue staying where i am or walking back to the same spot.

I want assurance, assurance that only truths can give. As of now, i do not know what to believe and what to think. Sometimes, i think i dunno myself anymore, and i am not very amused by it.

unsubscribe me totally.. as of 31 dec 2010.

2011 shall begin on a clean slate and a clean state of heart.

Awkward

In an extremely awkward season, that is the best descriptive term i can find for now. Holding in tension many extremities is extremely awkward for me.

I want to be inspired! but somehow no readings,no books, no conversations seem to be able to inspire me in the very least! May be interesting, may be new, but no whiff of new breeze across my soul.

I am excited for the year to end! but i do not know what next year have in store, and i am apprehensive. Unlike this year, i am alone,free and all; Next year, i am still alone but with bills i have to think about... the pressure is building.

I want to walk out victoriously and in faith of a situation that i have been in for far too long. but part of me, honestly, still hopes that something good will come out of it, explaining the unwillingness to turn and walk away. This is the toughest situation yet with the simplest options for me to choose from.

I do not want to lose the zest for life, passion for things i love, joy from deep within. What to do? What to do?

Sunlight

not the song with cheesy lyrics that made me laughed... but i think this is one great song to share. We can all do with some sunlight at some point in life, don't we?

I want to sing~

I woke up feeling empty... Its been like this the last few days. No amount of play, company, love can fill it up.. and i know it. Im bursting within with a dire need of being inspired, a deep need for a shoulder thats big, strong and steady to lean on and tell me that everything will be alright. I feel like i am sitting for one major exam in my life, but like all exams aftermath, I am emptied in the process, there are some others that emptied me on top of it.

I am actually very scared. I am actually very lost. I am actually very insignificant.

Never roller coasted so much in all my 30 years, but it seems like tears dont run out the last few months, even now. I am not strong, neither capable neither clever, in fact, im the very opposite. Searching my heart, i am excited about life and what lies ahead though i do not know what is in store, thats the whole idea of finding joy in discovering, life unravelling. But I do not need alot of things. I am happy with simple things in life.

As for now, this very moment... I just want to sit on a grassland in front of a lake or on a bench by the sea, singing.. this song thats close to my heart.. till i am filled up to the brim again.

I want to sing ~

I want to sing until I am lost in Your love
Till im found in Your presence
worshipping before your throne

Moved by Your spirit entering into Your flow
How precious this moment
Lord I want you to know

It is You
You who have won my heart
Taken me into Your arms
comforted me like a friend

Your love surrounded me right from the start
I never want to be apart from You ever again~

放在心上就好

很多事情、很多人、很多话往往都无须太过执着，把一切、曾经、回忆放在心上就好。
不用在意得失，太在意只会让你不开心，看不到身处的幸福、恩典。人生许多小小的幸福往往出现在你最不经意的时候，让你喜出望外，一切的一切就静静地放在心上就好。

找到了平衡点、找到了安逸、找到了自己，淡笑自己的愚昧和无畏的执着，一天清风一吹，吹走了一切的不舍、抚慰了揪心之痛，发现其实一切可以就这样轻描淡写地放在心上，让一切变成回忆，自由多了。

Gong3 gong3

Ha! I am a gong3 (silly kid in hokkien)! After owning the monstrous looking printer for nearly 3 years, i just discovered it can function as a photostating machine!

Laughing at my own silliness the whole time after i discovered it, though i am delighted about it! Saves me alot of trouble! Yes, ALOT of hassle.

Wonderful!

This morning's prayer to our dear heavenly Father comes from Psalm 90:13-17. That He will teach us to number our days aright, fill our hearts with wisdom, He will relent and let us sing for joy, be glad all of our days, favor us as His children and establish the work of our hands for us.

This is not only a prayer of my heart for myself, but also for some of us too, as I read the psalm He led me to, favor us, dear Lord.

闲人免进

一句我需要听到的话⋯⋯等了很久，终于听到了⋯⋯

梦得太久，是时候清醒了⋯⋯
想得太多，是时候静止了⋯⋯
说得太多，是时候缄默了⋯⋯
走得太近，是时候后退了⋯⋯
期盼太多，是时候放手了⋯⋯

由始至终，都是在做白日梦，这个梦今天被摇醒了。简简单单的几个字，深深切切地告诉我，我知道的事实就是如此，无须再费精神去猜测是否会有那么一天、是否会有改变、会不会有可能。

答案历历在目，要懂得知足，要学会不是就是不是⋯⋯这段时间，我学到了很多，更深层地认识自己，也不算白费。痛的感觉在所难免，但是会好的。不需要时光机，不需要橡皮擦，只需要回到自己小小的世界，再次挂上“闲人免进”的牌子，继续无条件，但有距离地关心。

When i need to know, I will know; it has always been so. Now that i know, i will adjust myself, my expectations, my time, my emotions and my thoughts accordingly. 重新开始⋯⋯

人生得一知己

这几天不断地读到、看到有关李光耀资政夫人逝世的消息。从与她共事、深交、一面之缘的人口中认识了这位令人敬仰的女士。

从报道中、访问中，我深切地体会到了李资政夫妇对彼此的爱，点点滴滴印证了古人的一句话“人生得一知己，夫复何求”。多少人有幸遇到深知、深爱的人，更别说携手走过63年的婚姻生活，仍然深爱着对方。

他们的故事和今时今日的我们所提倡的爱情故事有着天壤之别。他们没有向世界高喊他们伟大的爱情、没有向众人炫耀他们所拥有的一切、没有向他人抱怨任何的不幸，只是默默地为彼此付出，却能够如此恩爱地走完人生旅途。反观我们，离婚率的涨幅比股票行情还来的高，换身边的伴侣比换衣服还快， 我们有许多地方向他们两位老人家好好学习。

李光耀资政夫人的一生，她为人处事，以家庭为重，值得我们这些所谓的现代女性好好学习。她在过去的63年里做到了我们现代女性所需要做的事－事业、婚姻、家庭、出得了厅堂、进得了厨房，而且做得十分出色。我们有很大的进步空间⋯⋯

我们小小的岛国因为有她这样的榜样，他们美丽的爱的故事，坚固的婚姻关系，再一次地感到无比光荣和骄傲。

NDP treat

keke.. i made this long ago.. managed to upload it today because i recently learnt how to convert all my works into images or pdf! What a liberty! Im definitely loving what i just learnt!

A beautiful proverb

Proverbs 24:3-4 (NLT)
³ A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.
⁴ Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.

This got stuck in my head the first time i laid my eyes on it few days ago, its beautiful, i think. I never read it before, but i love it! Overflowing with wisdom, 2 simple verses instructs us of what many spend a lifetime to do in building what we call home.

My words fail to deliver the awe i feel as this verses are inscripted upon my heart.