C'mon Baby Light My Fire

I have no idea why I have that song stuck in my head, but meh..because...

I AM DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL FOREVER AND EVER!!!
I AM DONE WITH VCE!!!!!!!

Yes, bitch. Done.

Indo finished @ 2pm today. It went pretty well...and yes I believe I made all those "indo text messages count!" ;) THANK YOOU!! *u know who u are hehe*

Well it's all PACK PACK PACK, GET READY etc.. For Sydney, UK, KL, Ade, KL.
AND INTERVIEWS!!!! eeep im so nervous about them.

More reasons to YAY:
1) SYDNEY TOMORROW!
2) I'll be in Sydney during the Australian Idol finals!!
3) Lin is coming to Sydney with me!! O BONDI, O CLUBBING. O THE LINS!
4) SYDNEY = BEACH = GOOD
5) IM SEEING KIM TMR!!! aaahh its been TOO long honey.
6) UK Beckons with Abi, AK etc!
7) Can't wait to see Pavillon/The Eye back in KL

Reasons to BOO:
1) Missin out on Dustin's party
2) Missin out on Su-Ann's party
3) Missin out on hanging out with UHS people
4) Missin out on UMEP BBQ...im sorry UniBio-ans!
5) Missin out on ISS Melbies reunion!

OH BY THE WAY...
Over the weekend, I've already shopping spree-d. Yes, I couldn't help myself. DFO was there, Lin was home (for once..), most exams over.. It was the perfect reason to just.. let the shopping flow. Therefore I did. Without restraint. =O

Sooooooo.... I got...:
1) Barkins Summer Dress (i very likey cos it makes me look goddess-like..$45)
2) Bathers (very likey cos its RED!..$20)
3) Diana Ferrari Sandals (summer shoes yess!!..$37)
4) Portmans Top (for cold-UK!..$10)
5) Mooks Denim Mini (VERY VERY SUCCESS b/c Original: $120. I got it for: $20)
6) JaquiE Shirt (bit guilty..$60, but its for interview..)
7) Espirt Edc Jeans ($37)

Um, I deserve it?
Correction, I DESERVE IT. After a year's worth of being a HERMIT, studying my life away, constantly feeling guilty for being online, STUDYING MY LIFE AWAY.. (o did i say that already? hm..)

Well, I'm off to PACK PACK PACK.

C'mon baby light my fire!!

YIPEEYA YIPPYAAY

IM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!

10 exams, 9 down. 1 to go.
It's unbelievable how time flies!

This weekend is Chill Weekend. (since Indo is on Thurs) I just hope guilt won't get the better of me while I'm relaxing!

Spesh Exam2 today wasn't as bad as I expected. Multi-choice was a death-trap, but surprisingly I actually could do the analysis! AND, i graphed on the Argand Plane. I ACTUALLY DID. Yes, "GO ME!!!" and all that.. I absolutely HATE complex numbers with a passion. Like Di said, "who the hell needs complex numbers anyway?!" (uhh, pilots and people who do things with radars..) But heh heh heh, two circles? I can do that.

Vector calculus was a cinch, except for the "angle to runway" thing. WTF? There were some which I really couldn't do, but it's all good! I expected to walk out of this 2hour paper with my dignity in shreds, but it's still very much intact!

Everyone came out with a MASSIVE smile on their faces. Not because the paper was easy, it was actually pretty intense, but because ....

WE'VE COMPLETED A WHOLE YEAR OF
SPECIALIST MATHEMATICS
without going insane (on the brink), killing someone or killing ourselves.

Oh yes, it was a victorious feeling. I couldn't stop smiling; IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER!!!

A whole year of pain and suffering, doing Checkpoints before every SAC, worrying about SACs, making my reference book (which Ms Papp wants LOL).... It was a psychological challenge at times. I've felt like I am absolutely useless in maths, thinking that I should really reconsider my career paths since Science and Maths are somewhat "married" to each other. I've felt so demoralised and stupid... OH the pep talks I had with Ms Papp!

Ms Papp is awesome. She knows exactly what I'm thinking ALL the time. Without those long pep talks she gave me throughout the year, I wouldn't be walking out of that Spesh Exam for sure, since I contemplated dropping Spesh around...May? Even right before the exam, she told me "You will be fine, believe in yourself, and watch your time."


Surprisingly, I only ever listen to her (thou not 100%; O woe the self-doubt!). Everyone else tells me I will be fine, but I never believe them. I just smile while I crumble inside thinking "I'm a complete goner."
Thank you Ms Papp, for everything...and above all, for believing in me.

I'll always remember what she told us:
1) "My dear Spesh kids, YOU ARE THE ELITE."
2) "Excuse me year 8s, make way for ROYALTY"
3) "Level of importance: SPESH.....Methods........................everything else."
4) "It's been a privilege to teach you lot this year"
5) "Spesh is about strength of character and soundness of mind. If you can last till September, you've made it."
6) "Mathematicians are refined Physicists."


It has been a journey to say the least, but it's over. Out of all the exams I've completed, coming out of Spesh gave the most intense feeling of relief. And truth be told, I actually quite enjoyed the Spesh course! I remember this time last year (in year 11) , Chris told me I would enjoy Spesh, I retorted with a "WHATEVER CHRIS.. ughh.." But, spesh is actually more interesting than Methods. I'd die of boredom if i did JUST methods...although I'd probably have more of a LIFE if i didn't do Spesh! Then again, it was well worth it.. I just hope my Study Score reflects that...

Despite all the "DOWNS" that Spesh brings, it was indeed rewarding, and I would definitely recommend this subject to others.

To everyone who completed the VCE Specialist Mathematics Exam today,

CONGRATULATIONS
You're a survivor!

Time to get some actual sleep, which I haven't had in about... 2 weeks.

O anxiety, please leave me alone!

Emma Beckons!

Once again, the Lord is goooooooooood to me!!

I just got an interview offer from Emmanuel College (ie: Cambridge)
I am ever so grateful to the Big Guy up there!

Thanks to all those who helped along the way: James, Mum, Char, Ray, Sam, Kevin...for proof-reading, rating, giving me ideas, being my dictionary when "agh-ive-used-'passion'-twice-in-the-same-paragraph!!", rephrasing sentences, commenting...
You guys are gold, you know that?

I'm so happy, it feels surreal but it is AWESOME!
So looks like my post VCE plans will be something along the lines of:
Syd-UK-Melb-Ade-Gold Coast-KL

Heh heh, ISS Reunions all over the world anyone? ME!! Gonna be absolutely awesome.
ISS Syd, ISS UK, ISS Ade....I'M COMING!!!!!
And of course, my own home-grounds...ISS Melb, we gotta meet up after exams. Year 11s, don't give me the excuse of "we have finals" because unless its the actual VCE, it doesn't count. HEHE. Pete, no more 30 hour partying. Caroline, Ly and Julia, no more "school!!" excuses, Marnie turn your phone on.

I CAN'T WAIT TILL THIS HORROR ENDS. (so jealous of the HSC-ers. They're all done..)

Good Luck for the remaining 3/4 papers VCE people!
Well done HSC kids! Partaay but remember to be sober enough to join the VCEs in more partying when we're done..in about..2weeks, or less!

Anyway, must go do more methods before the caffeine wears off.

Am I Awake?

I'm not too sure.

I'm sort of stuck in a..zone.. between consciousness and unconsciousness. It's a weird place to be, 1 hour after Methods Exam1. Lack of sleep, high on stress... What's new?

The exam went pretty well I guess, with one or two questions that came from left-field due to our negligence of basic probability (mutually exclusive events, anyone?) but thank God I looked over my notes last night, so I suppose I nutted it out in the end. I was rather high on adrenaline (from a math exam!? go figure..-_-") from being able to solve the last question (4marks! no less..) in the last 15mins, and thereby conquering my exploding heart that was going "fuck fuck fuck i cant do this im going to die fuck 4 marks!!!!". Take that, inner-voice.

This reminds me of something from 1984 (why I still remember quotes from my ESL text after the exam is over is beyond me..). The human body is most treacherous in the sense that it freezes up just at the moment when you need to move. Boy, do I know that to be true! Countless times I've sat in exams with more than enough time to complete a problem IF ONLY my brain wasn't full of "I can't do it..I can't do it.."

I really want to party already. It's so hard to suppress the need to grooooove!! Rachel should understand how it is because YES, we do frequently burst out in dance/song in the middle of studying for exams!
For the past few days, I've got "Knock on Wood" stuck in my head! Love oldies. =)

I don't want to lose you
This good thing
That I got
'Cause if I do
I will surely,
surely lose a lot
'Cause your love is better
Than any love I know
It's like thunder and lightning
The way you love me is frightening
You better knock, knock on wood, baby

Well my darlings, 4 to go and I'll be free as a bird.
Meth2, Chem, Spesh2, Indo

5 to go...

Indo Oral: Went well
BMAT: "I got raped"
ESL: unsettling, but I think I've done alright?
Spesh1: Went well cept for Conj Root Theorm & the LAST QUESTION!!
UniBio: Went well cept for 2 crosses (one of which worth 10 marks??! mummy..), 1 calculation

To complete..
Meth1, Meth2, Chem, Spesh2, Indo Written

I will survive! Yeah yeah!

I really hate it when...
1) I am being wronged when I'm innocent.
2) I am accused so randomly without ground, without purpose, without a chance to prove my innocence.

but most of all...I HATE IT WHEN
3) I am being wronged while being innocent, and people affiliated to me are wronged by association.

why does she target the innocent, the blameless, for her own selfish needs of self-assurance, to appear nonchalant, to seem victimized, to gain support of the unquestioning minority which easily come under her influence due to the lack of the ability to challenge her views and statements? *ie: retarded*

2004-that was then.

honestly I dont give a damn. I really dont, I am more than willing to put it behind me, to let it go and move on. After all, isnt that what growing up is all about? Forgive, forget, move on. Yet she seems to show a primitive childishness, one which I am trying very hard to comprehend (failing, unfortunately, it is beyond my level of maturity let alone intelligence)

I do not regret the past, I am proud of it. It has been a learning experience throughout, I would do the SAME thing, OVER and OVER and OVER. When I return to KL for my summer holidays, I am going to enjoy myself, despite the eye-daggers she insists on throwing at my back.

2007-this is now

I find rather amusing that she should waste a WHOLE ENTIRE year, brooding over me, over ray. Over what was "lost" (as she claims), over her mistakes. She amplifies them continuously, yet seems to want us to forgive her for these "blow ups" that she repeatedly magnifies.

Well, congratulations Michelle, on a year well wasted. I do hope you enjoyed yourself in the process.

Anyway, once again, life beckons! Power on to a new day! Must really get stuck into studying, I've been slacking so much its rather despicable!

Some Reflections

You're a falling star, You're the get away car.

You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And You're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it cool, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

It's kinda weird, but...am I turning into one of those "I forget my friends when I'm preoccupied with someone" types!?!? I hope not. It's kinda hard to keep up with everyone anyway, everything's changing so fast, only the ones that are constantly in contact with me remain in close contact. It's rather sad to think about, but that's the way life is.

Gone are the days of "We'll be friends forever, promise?" O, how young and innocent those words were. I don't blame anyone for lost contact, things change, time moves on. It's just bittersweet to look back on the memories we had.

Well the HIGH SCHOOL chapter of my life officially closed 23rd Oct 2007.
*it actually ended on the 22nd, due to couple of idiots setting off smoke bombs in the north wing.

Last UniBio Lecture EVER, 23rd Nov 2007. What a year to remember, everyone there's amazing. I'm glad I did UniBio for the very reason I got to meet them, and maybe cos I like extending my knowledge of Biology (the latter to a lesser extent as the year progressed)


AND, my sister just gave birth to a healthy baby girl, ARIEL

I'm done with High School, forever. It doesn't feel real yet, maybe because I have about..9 exams to complete?? But I'm sure the gravity of this will hit me after that, assuming I'm not partying away my consciousness! (very unlikely.)

********BREAKING NEWS*********
i am so damn happy for my dearest sammie!!!!!!!! get it on womannn!! ;)

sorry for the interruption. ah hem, anyway... we had our yr12 BBQ on 24th Oct, coincidentally my Indonesian Oral Exam as well. It went pretty well, I think. =) Thanks to those intermittent (damn skype..) practice sessions with Sammie and Chloe, and the more reliable text messaging in BM with my fave alarm clock (name withheld for various reasons, mostly concerning life and death.) Thanks so much, I owe half (hm, maybe a thrid?) of my Indo score to y'all.


Then its been SWOTVAC...until...this Thursday.
BMAT's on Thursday for me, then ESL exam on Friday. FOUR DAYS to VCE. FOUR!!! Ridiculous! How did time fly by so quickly!!

Well, to all HSCs, good luck for your exams tmr--ext2 and adv math, as far as i know.
Sleep early, and don't watch soccer matches that start at 3am. *rolls eyes*

And It Breaks My Heart...

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

Fidelity-Regina Spektor

I want to be able to say, the things I want to say without feeling like it might jeopardise something we already have. It's so hard to keep it in, to not say a word when i'm bursting to say it.

I have to be focused, focused. It's not far now...good times ahead. O God I'm scared. =(

Praise the Lord...

...with all my heart! Praise Him cos He is good to me, His presence over me, is love, His love!

dum dee dum.. =)

I'm so grateful to the Big Guy up there. Got an interview for Dentistry for UniAdelaide!! Honestly thought my UMAT score wouldnt be good enough.. but hey, awesome stuff!!!

On other things, LAST SAC EVER!!!!!! FINISHED!!!!! (it was chem.)
Hum, actually, i have one more.. Indo Reading, but then its no big anyway. Indo's almost a non-subject cos its on Sats.. which is a baad thing seeing as my oral is in.. 1 week?! *petrified*

Weekend's gonna be mental.

Sat Morn: Chem Lecture @ VicUni
Sat Evening: Lena's Partaay
Sun Morn: Methods Lecture @ VicUni

VCE's so near my heart skips a beat thinking about it.

Ayo Technology!

I suddenly like clubbing music ALOT. Have no idea why!

Ayo I'm tired of using technology, I
need you right in front of me

Th-that that don't kill me(oh)
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now
Cause I can't wait much longer
I know I got to be right now
Cause I can't get much wronger
Man I been waitin' all night now
That's how long I've been on ya

Oh, baby, it’s alright now, you ain’t gotta flaunt for me
If we go touch, you can still touch my love, it’s free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out til we get it right

Anyway, back to life (that currently sucks), VCE IS GOING TO KILL ME.
I've spent about 4 days making Spesh Cheat Book. Its mad. I've got one chapter to go! WOO!

THEN: WMS Prom 2006 (i finally found a pic of me with people!)

..then I still have to do:

1) ESL - 2 practice essays, 2 summaries, 2 language analysis
2) Methods Cheat Book (shouldnt take too long, ive been working at it all year)
3) Chem- Finish the course myself, Study for last chem SAC on the first week back
4) Indo- Practice orals...over, and over, and over..
5) UniBio- do SOMEthing. =O *been so slack about bio argh*

NOW: UHS Yr12 Formal 2007

To date, I have done:
1) Chem- Revision to Area of Study 2. (1 more Area to cover.)
2) 4 Spesh Exam 1 Practice Papers


3) 2 Methods Exam 1 Practice Papers
4) Indo- Practice Oral..once?
5) ESL-listening to 1984 before bedtime (how sad odear!)

hehehe..i cant help it.. i love kewell so much *infatuated sighh*

Am so tired, how am I going to do all that in under a week..its beyond me!

OH TUT, i should have faith.

"...cos my Jesus is able, to calm the seas when they rage. My Lord is the answer, in my weakness, he reigns."

God help me thru VCE, I sure can't do it on my own...

ISS 2007

I've decided its only fair to blog about it, after seeing Brian's blog abt the form4 visit to Perth.
(Brian, if you ever see this: I dont stalk you, I just find your blog entertaining.)

There was the nervous first day, where Victorians flew up to Sydney, excited and hopeful that ISS won't be just a "freaking-nerd-camp-UGH"


And we were very amazed by WHITE cabs. WHITE!!! OMG!



Victorians!! ( with tazzie and gabby) After much mingling, a HEAP of talent (to bribe) was displayed.

Every other day is more of a blur now, so i'll just pick a few pics from diff things we did.

Lanyard Nerds in Menzie's...
City Touring...


I love you Cazzi!! (Below, is the bestest roomie ever. She smuggles food for me so I can sleep, and lies to pharmacists so I can get my yellow-strepsils. Babe, i love you!!!)


In Lectures...

Lord Robert Winston Talk...


In the foyer of Women's College...
In QVB...
OH-RANGE!


Just a beautiful day...
Funky Bushdance...
Infamous Gala Reception....


Glorious Harbour Cruise...


Talent Night...
Last Night/Day...

...and more to come!

You Know It

I'm going to die from stress. We have about 2 months to VCE.
T-W-O.

Sometimes I think that, its really not that bad...cos i know what im doing in school and stuff. So, no stress, I should be fine! But then other times, I feel like "OMG someones gonna beat me flat and I'm not even gonna manage a 40 for methods."

Fear sometimes becomes so real that it well, scares me. I know its all psychological now. Someone once told me, "It's now about strength of character, you just gotta hang in there and keep your head up. It's all psychological battle now."

Reflecting on that, all I can say is HOW TRUE! But still, it is hard to be Miss Positive all the time when I suddenly forget an intergration technique or how to do vector resolutes etc. Chem results gave the combined effect of a reality check and a confidence downer. I know I can't give up, but how long I can keep telling myself not to do so?

This week:
ESL: 3 day 1984 text SAC
Chem: Food Chem

Next week:
UniBio- Mid Sem Test!!! *AAAHHHHH*

Week after:
ESL: Folio SAC
Methods: Probability SAC (2days)
Spesh: Vector Func SAC

God Bless my soul.
(more accurately, my MIND)

Anyway, Sam has returned to the glorious country of Malaysia. (Which coincidentally turns a whopping 50 years old on 31st Aug 2007!) Was lovely having her over here, and my word the things we did... =) Let's not get into that now, it'll take at least 3 pages!

Would've loved to spend more time with her, but with the VCE workload amongst other things, I could only squash in appallingly small amounts of time to hang out with her. Naturally, she did accuse some of being "Lin-Hoggers"!! So I have to apologize again to my dearest Sammie, I AM SORRY FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU!!!

You know I love you even when I don't speak, you know it in your heart down deep;
You know that everything's not going our way, please wait with me for a better day.

You're My Everything

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word,
You're everything.

mmm..
Spesh SAC is finally over, one freaking dragged out week-long one.
ok, this is reaalay mean, but:

HAHAHAHAHHHA-- C wrote "A=1"
in your FACE for saying "OH YEAH, your deriv graph was wrong, I SAW IT." to me!
Ah kembang la, KEMBANG LA FINISH IN 20MINS!

ESL SAC, nothing much to say about it. Rather worried for once, seeing as the topic was so retarded. My plot was excruciatingly pathetic, lets just hope i get marks for vocab and language use.

In a couple of hours: Indo SAC
guuurgh life is hard.

Next week, Chem SAC and Methods SAC. They want to kill us. Seriously.

Rather worried about UniApplics atm, dont know how far my ENTER would take me. At the rate things are going, I fear for my future.
Its great that everyone's like "Oh, you'll do well don't worry", but:

I DONT THINK THEY SEE IT AS I SEE IT

Sometimes all I need is someone to listen and agree, "Yeah you better work harder or you're screwed." Its amazing how NO ONE HAS YET TO SAY THAT TO ME, with the exception of myself. *its the slack-disease i tell you, i run and run but its like, catching up or something. yeesh.*

With the other side of things, I guess things are fine. Everyone's getting so ridiculously busy now, I don't really care if things happen or not. It's good to have a little break anyways, I think we're getting sick of each other!

"You are, my FIRE, my one, DESIRE.
Believe, when i say, I WANT IT THAAAAT WAY
But we, are two worlds, apart, cant reach to, your heart; its tooo late,
ooh I WANT IT THAT WAY!"
I love everyone who loves BSB, therefore I love BSB

Was talking to M today, and he is such a confidence-booster...his friends included (i guess)

"Are you the hot asian girl from melb?"
"Hell yeah! =P"

Gotta love abit of that every now and again. =D But damn, do i look ASIAN ASIAN? *cross fingers i hope not!!!*

Anyhoos, doesnt look like Sam's coming back anytime soon, might as well get some sleep before she does.

p/s- photos of me and sam being spazes will be up soon..YAYNESS!

Oopsies

See, I wanted to stop people from being idiots with my 5letter long first name.

my old gmail: alint90@gmail.com
..left everyone calling me "a lint!"
..which left me yelling every 5 secs "ITS AI LIN YOU FOOLS."
therefore i deleted that and created "ailintan90@gmail.com"
(for the purposes of mass ISS 2007 emailling because hotmail is so unbelievably annoying to limit us to 50email recepients per send.)
**note: dont even bother trying to stalk me with that email, its not my primary email in any case.

anyway, i forgot blogger used my old gmail account, so now i cant access it after deleting my gmail acc. (DAMN) therefore, this blog, is directly linked with www.just-lin.blogspot.com

anyhoos, this is still the very original, very special and very entertaining blog of Ai Lin's life. Sorry to people who have put up links of my blog page on their blog!! (eg: Sarah, Thomas, Tarrant)