So what should i blog? I have plenty of time now. I have been listening to the same group of songs over and over again since i woke up. Should be going down to tp on monday to return the form. So i should take the opportunity to get familliar to the route to school. I simply have no sense of road directions so i doubt i will be driving a car when i am a grown up. I may make myself a joke by getting lost in s'pore.

My cousin getting married in april 21st,saturday. Dad will be going to Malaysia to attend his wedding dinner. I wanted to tag along! School had started at that time but luckily,its on weekend. Travel into malaysia on friday night and come back home on sunday afternoon.

Brother and his girlfriend will be going to Hong Kong in June. Although it will be holiday that time but i doubt i will have the time to travel. There may be projects and stuffs to do. How i wish to go shopping...

Uploaded a few photos on my darling. I took them after he came back home from a hair cut.

Anyway,i start digging up some 'old' songs which i think is quite some time ago. 'Hero' is one of the song i digged up. Lol...So its my blog song for now.

Finally i hit the 100th post after such a long time since i first created this blog. I'm not a active blogger anyway.

Poly starting soon and what is my impression on TP now is inefficient! Received a letter stating that i have not mail in the parents consent form the day before yesterday. So i went down yesterday personally and hand in to them. AND i received a letter again today stating that i have not fill in or mark out some blanks in the application for tution grant. How am i going to fill in for the blanks of the institutions in Singapore i studied before when i only just completed my secondary? Ok,its my mistake to neglect some blanks and have forgetten to fill in but why can't they check all the forms i handed in and send all mistakes and unfill forms to me in just 1 letter straight away? Argh!!!

My primary school friends will be having BBQ today at east coast but i'm not going due to some reasons. Anyway,theres still chances of meeting up with them again. Hope they will have fun today.

I'm changing. I felt myself changing. The direction i am thinking and how i wanted myself to react in different situations is changing. I can be stress over something small and whatever little can easily freak me out. What on earth is changing in my mind? Is it a process of growing up?

I am desperate in looking for a job like a tutor or any part time job which allows me to study and work on only a few days in a week. I need money! I am not using money like nobody's business nor spending too much on worthless items. I felt myself adding up more heavy burdens to my parents. Those poly fees,my pocket money and transport fees when i am schooling and not working. I know that days ahead will be tough if my father still can't get a job. I had tried searching on internets and through friend for available jobs but my dad have no experience in them.

Not going to sound as if my family is so pathetic in my blog entry anymore. Its not the dead end afterall. I am just making use of blogging to type off all my negative thinkings. At least to keep myself as 1 piece before all my unwanted thinkings and stress exploded in my mind.

The friday

I sometimes wonder why blogging still needs a title? Its as if people are reading blogs like story. If it is so,mine will be a boring story. But i simply hates to think of a title when i blog. Troublesome...

Today is the second last day and i am going to give it a miss...I had went down everyday starting from the first day,a five days worth. I have being doing the same thing over and over again there and i am tire. At the same time,i wish to be alone too. I love being alone sometimes. No naggings,no instructions on what i should do and not even a single soul to disturb me.Ya...i becoming a introvert soon. I felt bad for not going down and of course that does not mean that i'm unfilial or no respect for my grandpa. I am far more better than some ''xu wei'' people there trying to be filial and giving all their respect to my grandpa when i know what they are up to. Anyway,i will be down there tomorrow to ton the whole night as it is the last day and also helping out on what i can help.

Gotten my pay from bengawan solo already. Although some parts of my pay went to my CPF already. Withdraw some money to buy some facial products for my mum and myself too. Given parts of it to my parents and keeping the rest for my expenses and things i wanted to buy. Hopefully to get my pay from iora soon...

''Ren sheng ye you zhang chao he tui chao de shi hou''

moody

Stealing out a few minutes to blog before i prepare and go out. Class gathering next friday and i doubt i will be going. I have no mood and interest at all. Of course there are reasons but i shall keep it to myself.

All people are ''xu wei''. They acted differently to what they are thinking. And so do i sometimes. If you want to hide your intention then act well. If you think that you are going to win? Then you are losing for sure. There are other even better players. Its a game...can't take it and you are out. Too bad,no one will feel sympathize for you and you are left to clear the mess you did. If i am not in the game,i certainly like to be the audience to enjoy the show.

Argh! Its hot and stuffy outside. How i wish i can stay at home with the curtains down,fan on,television on and a big glass of ice water or ice cream in replace,sitting on the sofa watching TV. Oh...or just enjoy a afternoon nap.

''Tian shi di li ren he''

Away

The angels came,
to save him and to bring him away.
Save him from being torture by all sufferings,
and bring him to another realm forever.

I just got back home not long ago. Feeling very tire but not yet sleepy. And thats why i am still sitting in front of the computer blogging. But i doubt i will have the time to online and blog this few days. Didn't get to jog with the girls in punggol park yesterday but i'm sure theres still chance to get together. Also,i will be going to miss Han Ping birthday celebration...sorry girl. But do wish you a happy birthday in advance.

''Yao le guan de mian dui mei yi jian shi''

move on

8 more minutes to 1am in the morning. Counting from the time i woke up till now,its not even up to 12 hours yet. Mummy is still in the hospital with my uncles and aunties looking after grandpa. Grandpa's condition don't seems to be getting any better. But i believe theres still a chance.

I'm thinking alot these few days at home. Believe me that i say that i have not go out of the house for days? I lost count of it myself too. But i will be going out tomorrow with the girls for a jog at punggol park. At least to shake off unwanted stress and absorb some sunlight. If i really continue to cope myself at home,i will soon turn into a zombie.

Sometimes i wish that i am still a kid. Never a grown up. But avoiding is not the way.

''You de bi you shi''

stage 3

I thought that i am really looking forward for poly life. Am i so reluctant to accept the new surroundings? Or because i am putting up more burden for my parents? Poly fees is SO expensive! Why is there so much difference between a JC student and a poly student? Students of the same age- but poly students expenses are so much higher than JC students. My dad asked me this afternoon on how much my school fees is? But i suppose that my school fees is going to give my parents a shock. My mum is a housewife,my dad is looking for a job now and only my brother is working now. Money is never enough...

Should i look for another job? But who will want to employ a student who is going to start school soon and will need to plan her schedule over and over again to fit in to her school time table? Besides that,leave should be grant for her when exams round the corner. If i am the boss,i will not employ her too.

Singapore kids and teens are so fortunate. Branded clothes and bags,lastest electronic items bought by their parents. High spending power...singing sessions in kbox,movies and eating in those high class places. I yearn for that life too...But who will think of how hard their parents earn money when they use their parents money to buy the latest phone when their parents are only using non-coloured and no camera phone? Just because their children are throwing temper over a ipod,their parents will still buy for them. I admit that i did that before by throwing temper when i wanted something but without succeed in ''threatening'' my parents in buying. But i came to know that earning money is so difficult when i am out working during vacation. I don't want to be a ''fan lai zhang kou,qian lai sheng shou'',a mummy's boy/girl.

Life is never smooth sailing. Grandpa is still in the hospital. Condition seems to be worsen. What can i do or help? Nothing...I'm not the doctor who can cure him and i'm not the nurse who can ease him from pains. So the best i can give-pray for him. Hopefully he get well soon,so everybody will not be upset for him and my mum need not to so worried and tire everyday. Hopefully my dad get a job soon too.

''Shui hui shi zui hou de sheng chun zhe?''

TP

I know which school i am going now and what course i will be taking for 3 years. Tp-Diploma in product and industrial design. A mix feelings...I thought i will be going to sp-integrated events and project management but i end up in tp instead. But still,its a course i like too...So soon,poly life will start soon...

Read a piece of article today. I was very angry and was cursing that criminal. Siberian husky,a very beautiful dog was seriously beaten up by the dog owner's brother. The dog's leg was broken! Despite serveral warnings from his neighbours and his sister,he still continue. I was cursing and swearing at that criminal. If theres anything like reborn or next life,i hope that he will have a taste of how he treated that dog in his next life,to be beaten up and legs broken. Animals should be well protected by law. A week sentence to jail and a fine of 3000 bucks is not enough to punish him. He beat up that dog just because that dog bite his sister and the injuries of his sister is nothing as compared to that dog.

''Bu shi yong yan jing qu kan er shi yong xin qu kan''

PAE

2.33 am in the morning,blogging...Too nervous or too excited? PAE result will soon be release. I can only accept what fate decides for me and let it be.

We are moving up to another stage. We are seperated into many different ways. Nothing will be the same again. How i miss the days in secondary...Those slacking times and mugging times...Holidays will soon end and it will be time to leave our dreamlands. A totally different environment and social circle we will be facing soon. More guessings and defence? Guessing games of what others think and set up defence against being backstabs. How tiring to live in fear everyday? Devils disguise themselves to be like angels,deceiving the innocents...will i be one of them? I refuse to imagine. Live it through and we will pick up the skill soon,the skill of protecting ourselves...everything will restart itself again. Learn from it...gain from it...

Tell me, i'm thinking too much. Persuade me that all these are rumours. But i hope that i'm prepared. I must ensure that once battle starts,victory will be mine. Nothing stops me and i will go my way.

''Yi qie cong ling kai shi''

updating

Linked...

Here to update my blog after so long of M.I.A. Who will want to read my dry and boring blog? Lol...but thanks to those who read it.

I spent most of my time in working during my long holidays since after o levels. Just ended my job as a promoter in iora. Although its just a short period in working there but i do learnt and i love all the jies and gor there. I know that i will miss them badly like how i miss my friends in 'gift a name' and 'bengawan solo'.

Cough still haunts me...But it will not stick with me for too long. I miss singing~~~How i wish to go k-ster with buddies again. Singing reminds me songs. I am so in love with 3 songs recently. 'Kong qiu qian' by Lin Yu Zhong,'fei ni mo shu' by Tank and 'zhui ai hai shi ni' by Tang Yu Ze. Songs i will recommend for my readers ( if theres any ). Lol...

''er mo bi ze tian shi de wai yi''