Vexed

Zhu tou ri ji...

I feel so lost. I kept up many of my thoughts. I can't bring myself up in doing something. i throw in ideas and yet can't complete and caused even more troubles. What am i doing recently? I have no idea. Why am i feeling that? I have no idea. I can be a person in front of somebody and can be another person in front of another body. Which is the true side of me? I have no idea. Don't ask me why and don't ask what happened. I also hope to get an answer for myself too.

Its difficult to pen down my thoughts most of the time. I just want to vent out everything. But...

*Its hurt*

*Footprints*

Wilber!!!

The autograph signing veune

Zhu tou ri ji...

Didn't have the time to blog about yesterday wilber's autograph signing. Lol...Yesterday was great! Reached Bukit batok at around 2 plus and wait till 5pm for the autograph signing to start. The shopping mall wasn't big enough for people to be sitted down and thus we had to stand for 2 whole hours. My legs were aching. But i felt that it was worth it. Lol...

Finally i got to see pan@sonic and wilber. Wilber looked cute!!! Haha...Whoever said that wilber is fat and not cute at all,wait till you see his real person. Lol...Lan bo is really good in dancing. HIs solo dance was great. Although wilber was feeling unwell yesterday but he really put up a great performance. Finally i gotten my album signed. Wilber is friendly and looked eben cuter when close up. :) I didn't want to leave the place untill the whole event ended.

Did have a great fun yesterday because i got to see wilber! Lol...

*Bow wow wow*

*Footrprints

What done is done

Zhu tou ri ji...

Found that my previous entry wasn't very polite,did go overboard in some ways. So i edited some parts.

Humans are selfish. They tend to be bias to themselves,protecting their rights and stick to their thinking. There is no right or wrong about them. It just that how they look at the same thing differently. From a different angle,they can see things very differently. Realised that i did not put myself in people angle of view while doing my own self-reflection. It was understandable that people thought that it was me who bring down CLDDS because they did not know what happen in my cca. And i am not blaming wilson or anyone in my previous entry because i just felt angry and depressed by their words. But i really can't understand why people said that scoring an A1 is by luck? Don't they put in effort in achieveing good grades. It feels hurt when effort was replaced by luck. Anyway,let bygones be bygones. If i continue to think about it,it will only make me feels bad and sad. They may not know that the words they said can cause influence to someone. I believed that they said that with no evil intention. I do admit that sometimes the way i speak or the way i put my words may hurts somebody without noticing. I believed that everyone did that before.

There is no right or wrong. There is no one to be blame or to be pity of. Let the case end.

Blogging is a very good way for me to express all my feelings and thoughts. Also,to do my self-reflection through what i wrote previously when i calm down either from anger or sadness. It can make me feel more grown up and serve as an remainder when i read through all my blog entries. Nothing goes into the way i want. Ingoring is the best way to prevent evil attacks and tolerance is the best medicine.

*Peaceful reflections*

*Footprints*

Out you go~~~

Zhu tou ri ji...

Chinese O level results were out!!! I had never being so worried and nervous in my life before. My hands were cold,i can hear my heartbeat and my mind was just on how is my result will be. I wasn't in the mood to study before the recess. Gotten back my socail studies mock test on SBQ only. 17/25 marks scored just on 2 and a half questions done? I left out my 1st question and my last question was half done. A very LUCKY escape from being fail. Gotten back my chemistry test result too. That was a so call 'surprise' test. It was suppose to be tested on bondings but end up on organic chem. Scored 17/30 marks. Another LUCKY escape from being fail because i did not study on that chapter.

Noticed that i typed 'LUCKY' in captial letters? This word pissed me off after some people said this right in front of me. I really wonder sometimes. Why should people use sarcastic remarks on other people who did well in something? Are the people so free or they are purely being jeslous? I was been insulted that i gotten an A1 for my chinese O level was just being LUCKY!!! Hello~~~Use your brain to think ok? I wonder what are those people brain use for? If u have not studied,have not practise and have not put in EFFORT,will you get an A1 by being LUCKY? Luck is just 0.01% and effort plus hard work plus practises is 99.9%. Why am i so angry of? I could forgive and forget if they said it once but they said it continuosly. People around me said that there is nothing to be angry of and told me to forget it. LISTEN up! Put yourself in my shoe ok? I did put in alot of effort in this O level exam and thats why i am so worried and nervous about the result.By saying that i am just being LUCKY really hurts me ok! I remembered that it was Lincoln who said that.

Furthermore,i did not say that other people who did not obtain good grades did not put in effort. So should blame them for not being so LUCKY? They did put in effort ok. Moreover,somebody said that I should get A1 and if not will throw Chinese A class and CLDDS face. Fine,i accept that. But don't stab me again by saying that, 'oh,i had already throw CLDDS face.' This sentence really made me mad!!! And i rememberd very clearly that it was Wilson who said that. PULL your ears and LISTEN up! IT was the new teacher in charge who closed down CLDDS and NOT me! I was not informed that CLDDS will be be close up ok. I found out when the year starts. I am mad about closing down CLDDS too. Don't you put youself in my shoe? Do you think that i am happy about that i had no cca? I enjoyed being in my cca and i now having trouble in the leaps point too. Do you think its fun?

Fine fine fine. And now my brother get on my nerves too. Demanded me to use the computer. FINE! I am always the one suffering.

*Footprints*

counting down

Zhu tou ri ji...

There is nothing much to blog in these days. Its all about school and workload. And its kind of bore to blog on my daily life at home too. Had a short break of 2 and a half days in this week. I seems to be wasting them off. I have not been studying and doing work. I have no mood to do anything. I am worried on my Chinese O level results which maybe out by tomorrow recess time. Its easy to say that what is done,is done. Yes! I cannot do anything to change the results. But i just can't help myself by not thinking of it. Ask me what am i worrying about? I can't tell you the exact answer too. I have no idea how to explain and describe the feelings i had now.

15 Augest. My English oral exam. I have to score well in oral in order to pull up my overrall grade in English because i know that i can't do well in my comprehension. Mdm Frieda builds up my confidence in my conversation but i still have to work hard in my picture description. Got to see her again on Monday for more practise.

Somehow,i felt that i am not prepared at all. Anyone to give me motivation and confidence? Motivate me to study and do practises. Give me confidence by showing me that the results i produced can be improve and i can do it. I found it hard to motivate myself and the results demoralise me and kills my confidence. I sometimes wonder,don't the people from other classes feel the same? I saw them playing and shopping when weekends come. Don't they feel guilty of not studying when they are playing and shopping? I felt guilty when i am out enjoying myself. Don't the people from other classes need to revise and practise? Are they preparing to give up?

*Footprints*

fish and co

Zhu tou ri ji...

Went out with Eunice,Amelia,Crystalene,Veron and issac. On our way to ps,we saw chloe and han song. Ahem...well,i will skip that part. We went to fish and co and had our dinner there and drinks came first. 3 large jar of juice. Lol...We looked like 3 pairs of couples where 2 will share 1 jar. :x After food, we went to city hall to watch the fireworks. It lasted for about 10 minutes? I nearly get lost when i was separated with them. Sorry to worried you guys. The fireworks were beautiful and it lighten up the dark sky with different colours. Beautiful times don't last...

Did i said that i saw Zhi Yang,the campus superstar yesterday at the Japanese fastfood restaurant? Hmm...wasn't too good-looking as in the television. Looked and walked like abit ah beng kind. And...abit short. :x Whats more,i met him again today! Whats a coincidence. The world is small. Should say that singapore is small. Lol...But he was wearing the same black t-shirt and blue jeans with the chain around his jeans just like yeaterday. Did he change?

Overrall,the outing today was kind of fun and enjoyable but with less prefection. Will upload those funny photos soon.

Hmm...i was kind of offenced when a 20 year old guy said that his maturity beats a 16 year old girl like me. I nearly scolded him with a F word when he kept saying that he was right. Never mind. He was speechless when i tricked him into playing a childish 'game'. Threw back 1 more sentence to him by saying : When u are using 1 finger to point at others,there are 3 more fingers pointing back at you. So what he was a 20 year old guy? Lol...

Sometimes i wondered. How humans get irritated by words and actions? Wondered how our mood exprience 180 degress changes within a very short time? Does it all comes from feelings? Or including prejudice against others or surroundings?

*Left me thinking...*

*Footprints*

click!

Zhu tou ri ji...

A day to remember today. Went out with 12 e4 peeps including me for movie and dinner. Planning of this outing did not went smooth at first but finally decided. We went to plaza singapura to catch the movie,'click'. The movie is nice! It gave me a good laugh and it was kind of touching around the end of movie except for that middle finger. Lol...There are learning points in it too. Anyway,it is worth to watch that.

After movie,we walked all the way to ngee ann city? or takashimaya? I don't really remember. Along the way,Amelia and Guan chuan got to take their move first because Amelia have tution. Next,Veron went back too. So only 9 of us left. We walked back to cineleisure and glab a bite at a Japan fastfood restaurant. It was quite early at that time. Around 7.45pm? We walked all the way back to plaza singapura again. Ying Xi left us to watch 'the lake house' alone! Joel choo, Sim and me went back home first. Athough it was kind of early to me but i am in the rush home to watch 'love at zero'. Jian Wei,Vincent,Han Lim and nick went on shopping again.

Yi Xin end up with Wei Xiang! Happy ending! Lol...Loved that tv drama. Its a bore entry today. But i just want to note down all the outing that our class went. Tomorrow going to go plaza singapura again. To be exact is going to fish and co which is opposite plaza singapura.

Got to go. Brother using computer.

*Footprints*

Dead beat

Zhu tou ri ji...

Can't teacher see that we,students are tire? Don't they give a thought for us? Even robots get to be shut down and take a break. I am tire! I am tire of amath. I wanted to drop amath! I am terrified when i heard 'amath'. I hated wednesday because we will be having amath tests. Amath,amath,amath and just maths maths maths. I am sick and tire. Give me a break~~~

My mood and temper are riding roller coaster recently. From a B^2-4ac>0 turned to become B^2-4ac<0.>

Feeling much better after 'complaining' about maths. Hmm...Was very unhappy on someone in class today. I hate people interrupting into conversations. Some people will know who i mean when i said this. I don't wish to dosclose the name and i don't want to. I just find that interrupting repeatedly is very rude. Bla bla bla...

*Yawn* i wanted to sleep. But i have to wait till my transfer of songs completed.

*Footprints*

3 more months

Zhu tou ri ji...

A bland new month again. Barely 3 months left towards O level exams. Am i prepared? I kept asking myself everyday. The answer is always a 'no'. I felt that i still have lots to study and understand. No,i am not prepared. Sometimes,i can't bring myself up to study. Determination is weak~~~

Number of tests and mock exams increased. Sometimes,the results i obtained,demoralised me greatly. There may be improvements but it is going too slow. I need to catch up with the time. It seems that i am surrounded by math only. Just math. Maths tests,maths revision and maths homework. I am sick and tire of maths. I wondered is it maths intensive now? How about other subjects? I don't see any improvement in my chemistry at all. I am worried for my both sciences. I sensed danger~~~

I am vexed! Chinese O level results will be out soon. I wondered whether i can get an A1? Miss Yeo said that i must retake the Chinese O level papers again if i get A2 AND below. Oh my god. If i am really so unlucky to get an A2,i will have to retake it again! No!!! What if i get B3 or B4? Will Miss Yeo be disappointed? Will my parents be disappointed? I shudder to think. How scary will the disappointed expressions on their faces looked like? I dare not imagine...For now,i can do nothing. I can only pray hard and wished that i can get an A1. And by all means to convince or deceive myself that i will,for sure get an A1.

I am off to study for tests now.

*Wish granted?*

*Footprints*