Hurricane Sandy, a recap

Below is a slightly edited copy of my report that I gave for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints archival records of the church, ward, and stake efforts in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.

As a relatively newly called Bishop of the Jersey City 2^nd ward, Hurricane Sandy really rocked my world, but it also gave our ward and stake lots of service opportunities that were really strengthening and uplifting.

I live in Hoboken, NJ, which is where most of the worst flooding occurred in our area. We watched the news, social media, and out our window as the storm developed and approached. At least, until the power went out, then we just watched out the windows.

We watched the power go out all over town. And then we watched the storm surge wash into our neighborhood.

 

October 29, 2012 (photo by Carma Bylund-Lincoln)

It wasn’t clear until the next morning how bad the damage was, at least in our own immediate area of town.

October 30, 2012- (photo by Greg Lincoln) Our nearest intersection under about 5 feet of water. Near the center bottom of the photo is a splash of yellow. To the left is a circle- that circle is a trash can (permanently affixed to the sidewalk) submerged about 6 inches below the water’s surface.

 

  

October 30, 2012- (photo by Greg Lincoln) Just south of prior photo.

The west end of Hoboken (away from the Hudson River) is situated below sea level, and is where all the water from the storm surge in our community ended up. It essentially acted as a bath tub, holding all the surge water (now mixed with drain and sewage). It wasn’t until November 1^st that all the water was finally pumped out. Repairs to the electric substations that had been inundated with the salt water couldn’t even begin to be repaired until the water had receded.

On October 31^st, (photo by Greg Lincoln) the National Guard arrived, responding to our mayor’s request for aid. They began evacuating people who wanted to leave to the shelters that had been set up.

With no power, one child feeling sick, and the threat of losing water and being without power for 7-10 days, my wife and I decided to leave if we could.

I family and I were able to evacuate, though not using the National Guard. We went to the D.C. area to visit Carma’s sister. Also the same day I was asked to phone in to CNN’s “The Situation Room” with Wolf Blitzer while they showed some of the photos I had submitted.  http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1210/31/sitroom.02.html

At the hotel, we were able to recharge, and get back in the communication loop. Cell phone service had been partially compromised by damaged towers, and dropped calls were more common than conversations.

We learned that the water receded on November 1^st, and I made the decision to come back on November 2^nd (also my birthday) to check up on ward members and to help organize relief efforts for the weekend. I spent the entire train ride back to Hoboken making phone calls, coordinating getting food and hygiene kits, rounding up volunteers, and adjusting our church meeting location for Sunday (our chapel did not have power). Apparently my phone calls touched a few others, as my Facebook status that day says

“In a week full of oddities and surreality, having someone overhear my conversations on the train while I'm trying to organize relief efforts in Hoboken and then drop a $20 bill on my tray (presumably a donation) as they disembark ranks pretty high up there.” I was also told by another stranger, “Good luck in Hoboken tomorrow, you’re doing good work.”

For me, that was an uplifting moment, and further inspiration to do all I could.

The first of our ward service efforts was in Hoboken. In addition to my role as Bishop, I serve as a commissioner on the Hoboken Housing Authority (HHA) board. Given that role in addition to the fact that the HHA was on the west end of Hoboken (most flooded), and in the most need for emergency supplies (population of nearly 4,000), it was a natural place for us to start.

Saturday November 3^rd, about 25 volunteers from the Jersey City wards arrived and several other members of the Stake drove in the 300+ food kits and 300+ hygiene kits to distribute to the HHA residents.

November 3^rd, 2012 (Photo by Jean Michelle)- HHA Residents waiting to get food kits.

 

November 3^rd, 2012 (Photo by Jean Michelle) Our volunteers.

More photos for 11/3/12 available at http://s285.photobucket.com/user/StefanieEskander/library/Photobucket%20Desktop%20-%20Stefanie/HelpingHands?sort=3&page=1

The demand for the food and hygiene kits far exceeded the supply, so we coordinated to have an abbreviated church service the next day, and return to the HHA with more supplies. We had over 50 members of the ward and stake there to help distribute an addition 300+ food kits and nearly 500 hygiene kits on November 4^th.

November 4, 2012. (Pictured: Stake President Jensen, Hoboken City Council member David Mello, Bishop Greg Lincoln, Steve Overbey)

The following Wednesday (Nov. 7^th), a small number of stake and ward volunteers delivered 500 blankets, and another 200+ food kits.

The next phase of service took us to Jersey City. I had prayed for guidance on how our ward could best render service, and had failed to get responses from local authorities on where we could serve. I contacted several other volunteer agencies to get as much information as I could, and was led to a neighborhood in Jersey City on the border of the Jersey City wards and the Bayonne branch that was hard hit given their proximity to the Hackensack River.

The Lord had led us surely, as we discovered a neighborhood in great need.

On Saturday, November 10^th we had a small group of volunteers help start to survey the area for need and begin helping at homes where people were ready for us.

Nov. 10, 2012 (Photo by Greg Lincoln, pictured: Kit Burton and Marco Durogene)

Mostly, we moved stuff out of homes and to the curb, and identified places that would need help the next few weekends. The next weekends, volunteers around the stake came to our aid, as there was so much work to do. The area had been flooded with 6-7 feet of water, and every single home had been impacted.

Ward and stake members spent hours and hours dragging out useless, wet items, ripping out drywall, and helping people have hope that their homes could be repaired.

 

Nov 17, 2012 (Photo by Greg Lincoln, pictured: Young men and leaders removing drywall).

I can’t even count how many families or homes we helped, though I know the Stake kept track. But I do know how grateful those individuals were for the aid that was offered. One couple, in their 90’s, were so amazed. They had no one to come and help them take out the decades worth of items from their basement, because family was too far away to help. One gentleman was grateful for our help because he had back troubles, and couldn’t do it himself. So many people were just in shock at the amount of work there was to do in their homes, and had trouble coping. So many were grateful for the army of yellow shirts that arrived and accomplished so much for them.

I am so proud of our ward and our stake at the response we were able to give in service to our communities. I thank the Lord for that opportunity, and that we magnified it as best we could.

Sincerely,

Bishop Greg Lincoln

Jersey City 2nd Ward, Caldwell NJ Stake

Doha, the Recap

(Note: This recap was written while on the plane back to New York.)

So, with limited internet access, limited sleep, and limited patience, the plans for daily blogging were scuttled. Hopefully this will serve as a nice recap.

SLEEP

So, from our first night in Doha Nico was able to sleep whenever he lay down in bed seemingly without any issue. It may be a skill that will be helpful to him in the future, and I am slightly jealous.

Thurman, Carma, and I however had a bit more trouble. Actually, the problem stemmed mostly from Thurman. He would wake up sometime after midnight and then wake us up to tell us he couldn’t go to sleep. We’d let him read for awhile, and then he’d come and wake us up an hour later to tell us he still wasn’t sleepy. You can see where this lead to problems.

After two nights of this, Carma and I split the nighttime responsibilities. She would stay with Thurman for night #3, and I would get night #4, ensuring that at least one of us got a decent amount of sleep. Unfortunately, night #3 was a disaster for Carma (up from midnight until I awoke at 6:00). Night #4 was better, I told Thurman just to stay up as late as he could reading and then come to bed. He actually got 6 hours that night.

As I type this on the plane it is 4:00 am ET, and 11:00 am Doha time (currently flying over Turkey). We got up at 4:00 this morning to catch our car(s) at 5:30 for our flight back to JFK. We even stayed up late on purpose to short-change our sleep so we could all sleep on the plane to help ease us back into US time. I guess I’m glad everyone else is a sleep, but I am unable to sleep very well or long on planes, business class or not.

CHURCH

On Friday morning, as mentioned previously, we were able to go to church in Doha. Having Friday be the Sabbath is interesting and different, and does cause some mental gymnastics. For example: last weekend our church had General Conference, a semi-annual conference that is televised and broadcast around the world for members to watch and see the General Authorities speak. Since this occurs on Saturday and Sunday in Utah, the weekend after General Conference (the time we were visiting) the wards in Doha watch a session for their weekly meeting. So, we got to see a part of conference we had already seen, not a big deal. We were late anyway (sleeping issues), and were more focused on talking with the members there after the session was over anyway to find out more about life in Doha. But we do like the idea of having the Sabbath on the first day of the weekend.

OBSERVATIONS

· There is a LOT of construction in Doha. Buildings are going up everywhere, and the city is growing at a rapid pace. The Asian Cup (Soccer) is happening in Doha in January, and sounds like a big deal. Also, there is tremendous support and excitement for Qatar to host the 2022 World Cup, for which they are a finalist nation (from my understanding). They are also building a massively gargantuan new hospital near Education City, among other huge capital projects. This results in lots of construction jobs, lots of cranes, and lots of tractors for young boys to watch.

· On a smaller scale, it is interesting to see the small buildings and residences. Most of these are surrounded by a wall of some sort. Individual houses (usually pretty large by American standards) or groups of homes all look somewhat fortified because of the walls. I’m not sure what the primary purpose is. It may be a protection from sandstorms, a historical or cultural need, or maybe the Wall Union is very strong. No idea.

· Many expatriates live in areas called “compounds” (which really I think is a bit too militaristic sounding). These areas are like walled neighborhoods with small streets and lots of villas (houses) and communal areas. The communal areas can have an assortment of services and facilities, including: swimming pools, exercise rooms, squash courts, tennis courts, basketball courts, table tennis, billiards, restaurants and more.

· Update: We are now over the Black Sea, just north of Istanbul (not Constantinople).

· Driving in Doha has been compared to being an extreme sport. In some respects I see this, as sometimes the drivers are erratic and unpredictable. The roundabouts (circle intersections) are probably the most intense part of the driving experience. But really from what I’ve seen it’s not that much worse than New Jersey drivers.

· The predominant vehicle of choice in Doha is apparently the Toyota Land Cruiser. They are everywhere, and 90% of them are white. Between this and the number of vehicular accidents, it has become cliché to say that all hit-and-runs are caused by white Land Cruisers.

· In addition to the opulent wealth created by the oil and natural gas industries in Qatar, there also is apparently no shortage of cheap labor. For many of the service industries, construction work, and other unskilled labor is often done by Philipinos, Indians, Africans, Sri Lankans, and other immigrants. While the labor payments for these individuals is often substandard to what we Americans would consider fair, it is often orders of magnitude above what is available to them in their own country.

ELEMENTS

Not too long ago, Thurman became interested in the periodic table of elements. Not satisfied with what his father could remember from chemistry class in high school, Thurman found a book at his school's book fair that delighted him and would further inform him: The Elements: A Visual Exploration of Every Known Atom in the Universe. It is an element-by-element summary complete with pictures of the elements or things made from/with them and full descriptions of the properties of each element, often along with some science nerd humor.

Well, on this trip with the sleep deprivation issues, Thurman has had the chance to practically memorize this book, and was constantly quizzing us on different elements. Some examples:

· Dad, can you name all the radioactive elements? Can you name the Noble Gasses?

· What happens when you add sulfur to water?

· One thing in this room is radioactive, can you tell me what it is?

· How dense is mercury?

· Which element has the shortest half-life?

I think one highlight of the trip may have been when I introduced Thurman to a professor of organic chemistry while we were visiting Weill Cornell Medical College. He was impressed by Thurman’s newfound knowledge and even explained more things to him. At this pace, I may need to get another degree just to keep up with Thurman.

(Update: Just flew over Bucharest. Hello, Europe.)

MALLS

The Qataris (and presumably the expatriates as well) love their malls. Each new mall seems to try to outdo the last one. One evening we went to the City Center Mall, near the newer downtown area. It is a few years old, and seemed very nice. Very big, three levels, and it had a bowling alley, and ice rink, two food courts, and Fun City. We spent most of our time at Fun City. There were bumper cars, a large frog-hopper type ride, and several other small rides comparable to your typical county fair. There were also lots of video games, air hockey tables, skeeball, and all sorts of other things kids typically hate and never ask their parents to do.

However, we were told we should really check out The Villagio, because it was a much better mall than City Center. Well, it certainly was trying to be. The Villagio is a single level mall (that goes on forever…) with more upscale stores. This mall is also entirely themed to look like Venice, Italy. Each store has a faux second story with windows and the ceiling is painted to look like the sky, giving and appearance of walking down the streets of Venice to shop. There is even a canal running through half the mall, complete with motorized gondolas. The illusion continues into the food court with “outdoor” seating, but is completely disrupted by the ice rink (and hockey game in progress) in the center of the restaurants. The Villagio also has its own version of Fun City called Gondolania. This center of joy (for our kids, anyway) includes a roller coaster, log ride, even better bumper cars, a bigger frog-hopper type ride, a dark ride, and several other rides, games, and eateries. There is also a kid’s trampoline (huge) and a massive play area/habit-trail.

Another interesting aspect of the malls is most of them have a large Super Wal-Mart type store selling goods and groceries. They even have escalators (for malls with multiple levels anyway) that more resemble moving sidewalks so people can take the shopping carts on them.

To sum up: we had fun. I think I’ll order a snack and watch a movie while I still can.

Doha, Day One

First, I apologize for the lack of pictures so far. I'll try to resolve the Wifi situation in a bit, which will enable uploads to Facebook from our phones without paying exorbitant data fees.

We have successfully survived our first 24 hours in Qatar, much to the relief of our life insurance companies, and possibly even our family.

The trip out was not too bad, all things considered. Carma was frantically trying to finish the last-minute packing of items on Thursday evening, getting somewhat frustrated with me because I wasn't dong anything with any urgency. The source of this complacency arose when Thurman asked me what time the limo was coming to pick us up. I replied, "10:00 I think." I was soon corrected by Carma that it was coming at 8:00. Ooops.

In spite of my lack of efforts, we were able to leave on time. The stretch limo picked us up and whisked us away to JFK, with only a couple of minor detours. Upon arrival at the airport, our luggage was whisked away by the helpful staff of Qatar Airways, and we got our boarding and lounge passes.

One of the benefits of flying business class is access the the lounge. While there, you enjoy pre-flight snacks, beverages, Wifi, TVs, and comfy chairs. So comfy that Nico fell asleep, but it was late (10:30 or so by now). Also, they call you when it is time to board your flight, which is nice.

For us it was a nice experience. But not so nice and VIP that you'd actually expect any actual noteworthy or VIP people to share that experience with you. But I guess Chelsea Clinton and her husband were slumming it a bit. They were in the lounge as well, and were also on our flight.

Well, OK, they did get a little more special treatment. They were whisked to the head of the security line. Upon arriving, they were whisked away in a security car at the foot of the airplane. I could use some whisking, but I'm not complaining. Business class was awesome, and may have spoiled travel forever for us.

The seats were spacious, adjustable, and even would lie flat. The video entertainment system was unparalleled. During the trip, I watched parts or all of: Die Hard, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Toy Story 3, Iron Man 2, and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. It's a good thing I was entertained, as I was not able to sleep well on the plane (I never am able to). The boys slept relatively well, and Carma got enough to get by on.

Anyway, upon arrival, we cleared customs, had our luggage retrieved for us, and were driven to the hotel, were we stayed up for a bit trying to ensure we were as tired as possible and then went to bed hoping to get to church the next morning. (Here, the Sabbath Day is on Fridays, the workweek is Sunday to Thursday.)

Nico, despite sleeping the most on the plane, slept through the night with no problems. As he's known to tell us, he likes sleeping.

Poor Thurman had the worst time though. He fell asleep for an hour, and then woke up. o his body, it was only about 6 pm, but in Doha it was 1 am. He struggled for the next four hours trying to sleep. After reading his elements book (which he's enthralled with) for an hour and a half, he finally konked. (Carma thinks the book would have put her to sleep in 5 minutes.)

Carma was the person who was up with Thurman the most, as I had no problems going to sleep right away. But I finally helped out more after 3 am or so. Both of us had trouble getting back to sleep, but eventually did so. On and off, I woke up though, watching the progress of the sunrise through the cracks in the curtain. Needless to say, when the alarm went off, it was not a welcome sound.

We stumbled through the morning. We made it to church an hour late, and met several nice people. I took Nico to the hotel pool. We had a nice lunch. We went to a mall to check it out, and while there the boys enjoyed the arcade (with rides) and eating at Chili's. It was a pretty relaxed day!

Some observations about life in Doha:

1) Many people have said to us, "Oh, we're so glad you could visit now that it's cooled down!" Yeah, it's in the mid-nineties and humid. I guess I should be glad it's not worse too.

2) There are two flush buttons on our hotel toilets. One has one dot, and one has two dots. And yes, it corresponds exactly the way you would think.

3) The architecture of the downtown skyscrapers is simply fascinating. Some are modern, gleaming, and sometimes even a bit wacky in design. Mixed in are more traditional Arabian architecture styles. It offers a lot to look at and enjoy.

4) Did I mention that it is hot out? Thank heavens for air conditioning.

5) The driving? So far, not as crazy as I had feared. Life in New Jersey may have prepared me.

Ok. Time for bed.

The Great Minnesota Trip of 2010

The countdown has begun. The preparations are underway. The mosquitoes have been alerted.

The Lincoln boys are coming to Minnesota.

The tentative itinerary:

Sat 8/28

Fly into MSP.

Mall of America: if we have time, the boys are very excited to go on the rides. I miss it when it was still Camp Snoopy.

Attend the Seahawks @ Vikings pre-season game. Both boys (ok, all three) are excited to go. This will be their first time in the Metrodome for a football game. When I was searching for tickets, Thurman was watching over my shoulder, very interested to see what we would get. He kept asking, "Is there anything closer?" I was unable to resist his cuteness and excitement, so we ended up getting tickets in the fourth row of and endzone section. (Still below face value, thank heavens it is a pre-season game).

Sun 8/29

Planning to meet up with family members and caravan to the forests of the North and celebrate my grandmother's birthday. "Over the river and through the woods..." is quite literal in this context, as we'll cross the Mississippi a few times on the way.

Mon 8/30-Wed 9/1

Fishing.
Compañeros (my favorite Mexican restaurant in the world).
Relaxation.
Card playing.
Grilling.
Perhaps clean out my grandparents' garage.
Fend off mosquitoes.

Thur 9/2

Leave the boys with my parents (to go fishing again) while my sister, her husband and I visit friends at our alma mater, Concordia College in Moorhead, MN.

Fri 9/3

Return to Minneapolis (technically Cottage Grove).
Attend the Rangers @ Twins game, the first time to Target field for all of us.

Sat 9/4

I'm being slightly indulgent this day, and abandoning my parental responsibilities to spend most of the day and evening with some of my old friends from college.

Sun 9/5

Church.
Relax.
Grill.

Mon 9/6

Back to the Mall of America, most likely. Hopefully rewarding the kids for great behavior during the trip. :)

Tue 9/7

Fly home.


Feel free to contact me if you are in Minnesota and would like to catch up.

My 4th of July Weekend

I celebrated my independence from England and family (who are in Utah visiting other family) by constructing a large to do list, and actually doing the items on that list. Our Puritan forefathers would have been proud of my industrious work ethic, unless they actually read the list.

Completed:

• Cleaned and organized boys' room, including everything under the bed and in the closet. Threw away almost 4 trash bags worth of stuff (including old toys), despite having watched Toy Story 3.
• Cleaned out the refrigerator. Cleaned behind the fridge and the oven.
• Cleaned trash out of the car, also got the car washed, waxed, vacuumed, and interior cleaned.
• Watched a movie.
• Did all the laundry in the house, except what I was wearing at the time.
• Compiled a lot of data regarding voting patterns in Hoboken since 2003.
• Fixed a toilet, a mirror, and a bed.
• Played lots of Final Fantasy XIII.
• Got a haircut.
• Scrubbed and cleaned the shower heads.
• Did an analysis of LDS temple proximity to Doha, Qatar.
  
• Washed and put away all the bath toys.
• Invited people to a dessert party for friends.
• Had a brunchy political meeting.
• Got groceries.
• Helped clean the church.
• Climbed to the roof to watch the fireworks for about 5 minutes, then returned to playing Final Fantasy XIII.
• Wrote a blog about all the things I did this weekend.
  

In progress:

• Worked on a consulting survey, still have an issue to clear up.
• Need to replace the stoneware sheet I broke.
• Need to print out family records.
• Waiting for new fridge to be delivered on Thursday.

So, what did you accomplish? :)

Octoblog

Octoblog, to me, sounds kind of like someone who wants to be a super-villain but has really crummy powers and just can't really be a threat to anyone.

But apparently that's not what it is. I have been thinking about doing one since I read the one my sister-in-law Kristen completed. She's quite the trend-setter, so I must follow her wonderful example.


8 Shows I watch, but not usually when aired
1. Castle- Nathan Fillion is awesome.
2. Chuck- I'll be loyal to Chuck, to whatever end. While things may have gotten a little formulaic, I still enjoy it.
3. Modern Family- Carma got me hooked on this one, its rather funny.
4. 30 Rock- Ok, so I'm about half a season behind.
5. Community- one of the quirkiest comedies I enjoy. That and I work for a glorified community college, so it really resonates.
6. Batman the Brave and the Bold: It's a Batman Cartoon. I have sons. Nothing further needs to be said.
7. Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Yes, another cartoon. See #6.
8. Stargate Universe: I like the concept, and it is filling my "need a sci-fi show to watch" requirement.

8 Shows I wish I could erase my memories of and re-watch
1. LOST: I am still in the mourning stage.
2. Firefly: Ended too soon. And again, Nathan Fillion is awesome.
3. 24: Seasons 1-4 anyway. After that it got rather repetitive and more and more ludicrous.
4. Battlestar Galactica: Yeah, I'm re-watching it anyway. Just need to figure out the memory wipe thing.
5. Ed: Because the world moved on and left Tom Cavanaugh behind, apparently.
6. Defying Gravity: This is more of a "why did this show get canceled?" type pick.
7. Justice League: Yes, that is correct. I have no shame.
8. Friends: Ok, totally kidding on this one. I wish I could erase the memories, but would leave a note for myself not to re-watch it.

8 Things I'm passionate about

1. My family. I love my wife and two boys.

2. Pizza. Real pizza, anyway. I am a total pizza snob. "New York" style pizza is an abomination that dares to call itself pizza.

3. Church, and trying my best to lead the type of life I should.
4. Hoboken politics has become my hobby, and is threatening to become a second job.
5. Stats and data. I'm a data geek. I create surveys and analyze them. In my free time.
6. Being on time. Sadly, this often leads to less than harmonious interactions in our family.
7. Minnesota Vikings football. My wife will warn you not to bring up 1998.
8. My own personal fads. These vary from month to month, but I often get invested in small projects from time to time that seem all-consuming. Like if we're going to buy a car or something. I totally go overboard on research, etc.. It's fun though.

8 Things I want to do before I die
1. Go skydiving.
2. Go bungy jumping.
3. Watch the Vikings win the Super Bowl.
4. Go on the Big Shot in Las Vegas.
5. Serve a Church mission with my wife.
6. Finish watching Red Dwarf.
7. Scuba dive in the Caribbean.
8. Write a book.

8 Places I want to visit
1. Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.
2. Get to every MLB stadium to see a game.
3. The Grand Canyon.
4. Australia. All of it.
5. Minnesota. Because my family might like me to visit.
6. Florida. Because the rest of my family might like me to visit. Also, Disney World is nearby.
7. Idaho, Montana, Vermont, West Virginia, Mississippi, Alaska, and New Mexico. Because those are the states I have not visited yet.
8. New Zealand. Because if I'm going to Australia on a very long trip, I might as well check it out.

8 Favorite Meals
1. Giordano's Pizza (Chicago) This crust, half sauage & mushroom, half Canadian bacon and pineapple.
2. Companeros (Dorset, MN) Burrito and enchilada combo.
3. BBQ wings, with the wings just a little overdone so they are slightly crunchy.
4. The Tremendous Twelve (Perkins) sub french toast for the pancakes.
5. Plain angel hair pasta, lightly buttered, with grilled chicken and lots of Parmesan cheese. Perfected with Olive Garden breadsticks.
6. Grilled steak with "icky" potatoes, grilled corn, and hard rolls. Lots of butter required.
7. Mashed potatoes with real gravy. Ham or turkey, corn, and rolls.
8. A big, yummy burger. Either with mushroom and swiss sheese, or ceddar and bacon. Toasted bun, (white) and really good BBQ sauce.

8 flaws I'm trying to overcome
1. My occasional lack of patience.
2. My ability to be over-critical of others, and myself.
3. My tendency for procrastinating on things I don't really want to do.
4. Saying "I'm sorry" for things that do not require my apologies.
5. My awkwardness at receiving praise of any kind.
6. My own selfishness and overlooking the needs of others.
7. My occasional failure to crush internal feelings of smugness or superiority.
8. My complete lack of super-human powers of any sort.

Improvised commentary 4/20/10

Video: Hoboken reacts to former Mayor Peter Cammarano pleading guilty (source: NJ.com)

Hoboken Board of Election, Tuesday

Dear Hoboken Friends and Neighbors,

On Tuesday is an important election for the Hoboken Board of Education. I would like to ask you to do three small things that will not take a lot of your time:

1) Make some time to vote on Tuesday. The polls are open from 2 pm until 9 pm.

2) Pass this message along to any/all of your Hoboken friends and neighbors.

3) Do a little research to help yourself make an informed decision.


My intent here is not to write at length to persuade, but to offer some information that may help with your decision.

Here is a questionnaire many of the candidates responded to.

Here is the website of the slate I favor, Kids First.

Here is a letter to the editor I wrote to the Hudson Reporter.


My own personal belief is this: that Kids First has shown they can cut the budget in ways that are sensible and responsible (over $4.1 million last year), and that they are in the best position to continue doing quality work on the behalf of both the students and the taxpayers of Hoboken.

I hope you will agree, but more importantly, I hope you will go and vote. Thanks for your time.


Sincerely,

Greg Lincoln

Love, Vikings, and Heartbreak

Most people who know me well are aware that I had my heart broken in early 1999. Eleven years ago, on the Sunday before MLK Jr. Day. I'm just hoping it doesn't happen again this year, but I'm trying to prepare myself anyway.

My Minnesota friends are nodding along by now, they also remember well. The 1998 season for the Vikings was a beauty to behold. An offensive juggernaut that had no equal, setting the NFL scoring record that year. A 15-1 record during the regular season, of which I attended several games. The stars had aligned. Home field advantage was ours. Destiny was calling the Vikings, they were going to Miami.

I made the trip to Minneapolis from Omaha that January for the divisional playoff game against the Cardinals. I went to the game with my two best friends at the time, and we enjoyed every minute of it. I remember the bitter cold outside. I remember the "keys to the game" for the Vikings were to "show up" and "not tape to tightly." I remember the joy in the city after the win.

At the time, I was also dating a girl long-distance. Our first date had been in December, just before the new year. As part of our dinner conversation, she asked me to explain the NFL playoffs, as she wasn't sure how different they were from baseball. This was obviously a girl worth pursuing.

So, the weekend following the Vikings defeating the Cardinals, that now infamous weekend, I traveled to Chicago a bit spontaneously (thanks in part to belatedly realizing I had no school Monday) to visit this girl. She already had out-of-town visitors that weekend, but allowed me to come anyway. On Saturday, we saw the sights of Chicago with her friends, and had a great day. Saturday night, before retiring to bed, I was hoping to find out what the plans were for Sunday- for a couple of different reasons.

First, of course, was the Vikings game. It was the early game, and naturally I wanted to watch it.

The second was I knew there would be church. That wasn't a negative, but it was an unknown. See, this girl, whom I was starting to love, was Mormon. Three weeks prior I had no idea what that meant. So, I had done a little research of my own to find out what I could. I also had planned to go to her church for the first time that weekend, but there was one small thing...she hadn't invited me yet.

I ended up asking her if she and her friends were planning to go to church. I think I shocked her by asking if I could go with. Apparently, her ward (congregation) met at 2:00 in the afternoon, which conflicted with the Vikings game. I think she had assumed I wanted to stay behind to watch the game, which I kind of did, but I'd also already decided that I wanted to go to church too.

In the end there was a compromise of sorts. I decided to go to church (as I said, the girl was worth pursuing), and we would record the game to watch after we returned and subject ourselves to radio silence to keep the result a mystery. Her friends I must say were very accommodating and played along. We even picked what we thought the final scores would be for both games (the other game being Jets at Broncos).

The rest of the story is history. The Vikings lost in stunning fashion to an inferior Falcons team. Our kicker who had been perfect all season missed a chance to win the game before overtime. I was heart-broken. Destiny had lied to me, stabbing me in the back.

But Carma made me a cake to try to ease the pain. (Yep, totally worth pursuing.)


Two years later, the Vikings were back in the NFC title game. This game was a blowout, a 41-0 rout by the Giants. I watched the entire game from the hospital room where Carma was staying, as she had just given birth to our first child a couple of days before. I was in a surly mood as we got discharged that day, for which I have apologized multiple times and still have not heard the end of it. While the expectations hadn't been as high, and the disappointment wasn't as bitter, it was still enough to leave scars.

And now we come to 2010.

I was nervous for the game yesterday. History repeating itself a bit, I was at church and recording the game to watch afterward. Thank goodness they won. Now, the Vikings are back in the NFC Championship game, and I am probably going to be a wreck.

Unlike 1999, we don't have home field, and aren't a record-setting offense. Unlike 1999, I'm not confident that the Vikings will win. We are probably not the better of the two teams playing Sunday, but they have a chance. At least it's not the early game. Also unlike 1999 (or 2001), I have two sons that will cheer with me, and both love to sing the "Skol Vikings!" song.

Like 1999, the winner goes on to the Super Bowl Miami. Also just like 1999, both the Jets and Vikings could end up being the losers. Like 1999, I also have 2:00 church.

I guess if they lose, Carma will still be around to make me a cake. I'll just have more people I love to share it with.

Things I learned by Playing Games

Our family received several games over Christmas, and we've been playing them quite a bit lately. It's a great way to spend time with your family. But sometimes, you really have to think about what the game is teaching the people that play it. The following is a set of original lessons learned by me.

Chutes and Ladders: Going down slides is bad?

Candy Land: Vegetables aren't fun.

Sorry!: I can say I'm sorry to people when I really don't mean it.

Checkers: Always let the four-year-old win.

Life: The person with the most money at retirement wins.

Scrabble: If you have a Q, you need a U.

Monopoly: You can feel rich when everyone around you is bankrupt. Also, there is no middle class.

Uno: Learning a foreign language doesn't matter that much.

Ticket to Ride: The best way to get to Miami (or anywhere far away) is by airplane.

Risk: I was destined to take over the world. Also, never start a land war in Asia unless you already have conquered three continents.

Scotland Yard: If you're clever enough, you can get away with it.

Settlers of Catan: Good diplomacy is trading with people now to stab them in the back later.

St. Petersburg: Cheap labor conquers all.



Please feel free to add your own lesson learned in the comments.

Letters to Santa, 2009

Dear Santa,

I have not been picking my nose for some days. I have given Dad a crunchy candy for service. I also gave Thurman his Cub Scouts book for service. I try to have good listening ears at Miss Kelly’s Pre-K 4 class. I try at Mr. Robert’s to be good.

I would like a Lego City and me and Thurman we want a car that drives on the wall and upside down. I would also like Sorry Sliders and a scooter. I also like Pokemon.

We will leave you some cookies on Christmas Eve.

Thanks Santa!

With your reindeer and have a good trip on your sled at your North Pole.

Love,

Nico

-----------------------------------------

Dear Santa,

I have been good this year. I have been helpful, by doing things like carrying a Christmas tree, being a good big brother, and being helpful to my parents.

I have a lot of things I would like you to possibly bring for me. I’d like Pokemon Emerald for the DS. I would also like Pokemon cards, maybe a tin. Next, I’d like New Super Mario Bros. Wii, and Settlers of Catan or Cities and Knights. I also would like a miniature pool table. If it is out, I would like Captain Underpants #9. I also would like smiley-faced erasers (yellow with black). Toy ninjas are cool too. Also some new markers that include brown and purple. I’d also like another Pokemon game for the DS (I already have Platinum and Diamond). Both my brother and I would like some new Scooby Doo movies too.

Thanks Santa!

With Thanks,

Thurman

10 years

A lot can happen in a marriage of 10 years.

Actually, a lot has happened. I won't go into overly boring details, but indulge me just a bit.

We've lived in 7 different residences in 4 different cities.

We've had 3 different beds.

We've worked for 9 different employers combined, not counting freelance work.

We've watched games at 16 different baseball stadiums together.

We've had 7 different cars, and racked up quite a few miles.

We've been to 5 different countries on 2 different continents together.

We've been blessed with 9 nieces and nephews.

Best estimate, we've been in 31 different states together. Some of them will even let us come back.

Our zip codes have decreased every time we've moved to a new one so far.

We've attended 1 funeral together, and at least 7 weddings.

So far, we've had 3 trips to the emergency room, that I can recall anyway.

We have been given the care of 2 wonderful children whom we love very much.

Add it all up, and you get one.

As in, I am one lucky guy.

I am so blessed to be with the one woman I want to spend my life with.

She's the one that makes me want to be my best.

Here's to many more years together, one at a time.

An Open Letter to Hoboken Residents

Dear Hoboken Residents, Friends, and Neighbors;

Our newly elected mayor has brought shame to our town and to himself. Those that voted for him (not me) placed trust in him to do the job well, without corruption or other methods of self-service. Those that voted and campaigned against him feared that he would do exactly what he is charged of doing by the FBI, i.e. taking bribes from developers in return for favors.

The mayor is now in a position where he is less than a month into his position, and no one will ever trust him to do his job effectively. While he is busy preparing his defense against the Feds, he will be also fighting for what little control this town can't take away from him. He'll be facing an uphill battle with a major distraction (namely trying to avoid jail) clouding his every judgement, his every move.

With these facts in mind, there is no way he can be an effective mayor. If he is convicted, everything he does in office will have to be undone. Even if he isn't convicted, he still leaves a tarnished legacy that should be preemptively shortened.

He is protesting "innocent until proven guilty", which is hypocrisy in the face of his "Zero tolerance" remarks of only last week regarding Hector Claveria's pending bribery charges. Cammarano called for his immediate resignation, and no one can offer up a more convincing argument for Cammarano himself to resign. Apparently he lives by the "do as I say, not as I do" philosophy of life.

Your call to action as residents of Hoboken is to let everyone know that Cammarano should resign. You can do this several ways:

1) Call City Hall and let them know how you feel. They will take messages, but please be nice to the person answering the phones. It's not their fault. Phone number is 201-420-2013.

2) Use Facebook, Myspace, blogs, anything on the Web. There are several websites dedicated to Hoboken (some of higher quality than others). Register and post comments. You can message Peter directly on Facebook, or post on the "Peter Cammarano for Hoboken" group page. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=45005903114

3) Wear your Vote Zimmer shirts around town if you have one. Let people know you didn't vote for a crook.

4) Attend City Council meetings. The dates, times, and locations are posted on the city's website in advance.

5) Be involved, be aware, and be vocal. And when it is time, be sure to cast your vote in the special election that is bound to take place to replace our corrupt mayor.

The sooner we act, the less damage Peter can do while he remains in office. Let your voice, your outrage, your disappointment be heard.

Thanks,

Greg Lincoln

The Duck: A History

The long promised, yet unheralded blog about the duck is finally here. No ribbon cuttings, no parades, no fireworks, please. Any carrying on is done at your own risk.

Once upon a time, there was a boy and his duck. Actually, it started off with just the boy, who happened to like Donald Duck. And be in 4-H (the boy, not Donald).

When I was 13, I wrote an essay on "A Person I Admire" about Donald Duck, and did a reading of it for the 4-H Freeborn County talent show (which was innocently called "Share the Fun"). (Seriously, I just found the essay. It's quite bad.) Needless to say, all I received was the encouragement of my mother and a few polite nods. Undaunted by failure (much like Donald himself), the next year I performed "Sick", a Shel Silverstein poem from Where the Sidewalk Ends, complete with bathrobe and slippers. I must have been encouraged by a few stray chuckles in the crowd, because I wanted to get in the talent show again the next year (1988).

As probably described in another post on this blog, I started talking in a duck-sounding voice sometime in my early teens, mostly as a way to make my poor family members forget that they were upset with me. So, I developed a voice, but didn't have an outlet for it. The details here are a little fuzzy in my mind, I seem to recall being invited to share a talent at a Christmas event for the Sons of Norway...though I'm not quite sure if it actually happened or not (according to an article below, it did). But theoretically that event inspired me to want to find a duck puppet to at least create an act to perform. I'm assuming I had the 4-H talent show in mind as I did so.

I don't remember much about the talent show itself. I remember one of my friends at the time, Jacob Roth, performing in a skit called "Watching All the Girls Go By". I remember that it was held at the high school auditorium, which to me at the time seemed enormous. I remember having to choose a name for my act, which was difficult, and so I finally went with "Nothing Special." (Ah, always self-depreciating, aren't I?) I have no recollection of knowing there were judges, or even a prize for winning. I don't even remember being told that I had won. But apparently I did.

I do vaguely remember going to the Minnesota State Fair that summer, but can't remember any specifics about the performance or how well (or not) it was received. I do remember seeing the sculptures made out of butter though. Quite disturbing.

I performed the duck skit for my 8th grade talent show as well that spring, which seemed to grant me a little bit of celebrity status among my own classmates. (Which at the time, being a scrawny and geeky kid, I needed).

My big launch into stardom (by Albert Lea standards, anyway) really occurred the next year (1989) when I performed in the high school talent show, called "Tiger's Roar" (yes, our mascot was a tiger). Tiger's Roar actually included three separate performances, one for the 9th and 10th graders, one for the 11th and 12th graders (both during the school day), and one open to the nominal-fee paying public. By then, they thought I was pretty good I guess, because I began to get invited to perform at different events in town.

The next year I did Tiger's Roar again, which in my opinion was the lamest performance ever. I think I tried to build a sketch around the big drive to send cookies to soldiers in the Persian Gulf, and the duck wanted some of those cookies or something. Yeah, pretty lame.

However, that didn't stop me from being "recruited" by one of the Ag teachers (yes, Agriculture. It's Minnesota, what can I say?) to join FFA (yep, Future Farmers of America- despite the fact I lived in town, had no livestock, and no desire to be a farmer) and participate in the FFA talent show. 

Well, I did. I won the regional talent show and advanced to the State. I think it was held at the University of Minnesota campus, I don't remember much other than getting to stay in a hotel room and wandering around a lot. I do remember being slightly nervous, at the state level there were some clearly talented people. 

I ended up placing second, and the top two performers went on to participate at the national FFA convention. I'm including the introduction of the text from the newspaper article here (rather than strain your eyes too badly).

"ALBERT LEA- When the lights are dimmed and a hush descends upon the audience of 23,000 at the world's largest annual youth conference this month, a local FFA member will share the spotlight in a performance that will provide memories which will last a lifetime. 

Greg Lincoln, of Albert Lea, will participate in the National FFA Talent Program at the 63rd National FFA  Convention, November 8-10 in Kansas City, MO.  He is a member of the Albert Lea FFA Chapter.  Lincoln, who does a ventriloquism act, placed 2nd at the Minnesota State FFA convention and applied for nationals. "

I went and performed several times, including in a mall, at a luncheon, and on the big stage with a very large audience (still the biggest in my life so far).

Around the same time (1990-91?) another article featuring me appeared in the paper (ah, the good old Albert Lea Tribune).  (Transcriber's note:  Brace yourself - this is a cheesy one!)

ALBERT LEA -- Once upon a time, (three years ago to be exact) a duck was born.  Ducky is white, with a bright orange beak, and sports a clip-on bow tie at festive events.  He speaks a duck language, of course, English with a strong accent.  All of this is perfectly ducky to Greg Lincoln, his ventriloquist. 

Speaking through the right side of his mouth, in "an unexplainable" style, Lincoln created a comical voice.  At family occasions, "whenever something funny seemed appropriate, I'd say it in duck and it would crack them (the family) up," Lincoln said.  "I liked it.  I thought it was funny." 

Ducky emerged soon afterward.  After being asked to perform a comedy routine at the Sons of Norway Christmas party, Lincoln went in search of a puppet with which to work.  A shopping trip to Northbridge Mall found Ducky. 

That first performance was successful for both Lincoln and Ducky, and word of duck spread quickly.  More and more clubs started asking Lincoln to perform for their organizations.  Ducky's appearances include the seventh-grade orientation, 4-H, swing choir, and Albert Lea High School's Tiger's Roar. 

Lincoln makes developing a routine for all the different groups sound easy.  Preparation for performing is usually pretty minimal for Lincoln.  

"Sometimes I like to run through it (the routine), just to make sure I have it pat -- which is never," Lincoln said. 

"Everything pretty much depends on the duck,"  Lincoln claims.  "Basically, I just think of a major theme and make up from there.  It depends on the audience's reaction.  I like audience participation.  That way you're not just watching, you're part of the show."  

"If they really get into it, it's a lot more fun for me and the audience," Lincoln said. 

Lincoln said he enjoyed performing for the Tiger's Roar last  year because of the good reaction that he received from the crowd.  "It was really excellent.  I really got the seniors going (and actively participating)," he added. 

Ducky and Lincoln are planning to show up for Tiger's Roar again this year, performing their comedy act.  In addition, Lincoln is continuing to appear for local organizations.  

"If people keep asking me, I guess I will," he said.  (end of article)

And so I did. Interest eventually waned, on the part of the community and myself. I did Tiger's Roar my junior year (duck supposedly playing 'Great Balls of Fire' on the piano), but not my senior year. (Which may have been the reason I received an A- instead of my usual A in choir. The choir director, Mr. Iverson, was in charge of Tiger's Roar and wasn't happy with my decision to not participate.)

After high school, the duck's activities have been few and far between (some of those already previously blogged about). Now, he's mostly just something for family gatherings and other (usually spontaneous) functions. (See Nico's 3rd birthday, below. Duck is complete with Super Duck cape)

My boys do enjoy it when he comes out to visit though. Maybe, just maybe, one of them will learn to do a duck voice.

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

(By Thurman Lincoln, age 8)

I would like to be an inventor when I grow up. First, I would like to be this because I am smart and intelligent. Second because I will make lots of money. Third, because this job uses your brain a lot. Fourth, because I think it will be cool. Fifth, because I would build robots that play with me and stuff like that. Last, I would live in a big white house in Utah so I can put all my robots in it. These are some reasons why I would like to be this.

Hotel life

Living in a hotel requires a few adjustments. A lot of them are easy to adjust to, at least in the short term. It's nice to have clean towels and your bed made every day.

***

This particular stay (at the Hilton Atlanta) I got upgraded to the "Executive Floor". I think this is just a euphemism for "you get to be at the top of the hotel and have longer elevator rides." I also get access to the "Executive Lounge" which has TVs and serves and afternoon snack, neither of which I can condemn.

And actually, the elevator rides are kind of nice if you get an elevator with windows.

***

Hotel beds have way too many pillows. And yet, despite the number of pillows to choose from, I can never find one I really like. In frustration, I threw one to the floor on the opposite side of the bed after deciding it didn't meet my needs. As I did so, all of a sudden this weird light came on in my previously very dark room. It kind of freaked me out for a bit, but then it turned off again.

Curious, I got out of bed to investigate. As I put my feet on the floor, the light appeared on my side of the bed. Apparently, there are little lights installed in the bedside stands that are motion sensitive. So, if you need to get up in the middle of the night, a relatively unobtrusive light comes on automatically to help you out. Genius.

***

I usually only go to two conferences a year. Carma jokes that I treat them like vacations. Which they kind of are, in a sense. I mean, I still go to sessions and stuff, and try to gain insight and knowledge. But I don't try to do something every minute of the day while I'm there. I sleep extra. I read books, watch movies. I explore the town a bit. And I go to restaurants. Hmmm...it does sound kind of like a cruise or something, doesn't it?

***

Room service is a rip off. Even if it's not my money I'm spending, I avoid it like the plague.

Case in point: here, I can get an all-you-can eat breakfast buffet, including drinks for $20 in the restaurant. Not exactly cheap, I know.

However, if I ordered Room Service, for $20 you get the "American breakfast", which is eggs, toast, sausage/bacon, and potatoes. The juice will cost you $6 extra (no refills), and fruit is another $8.

On top of that, they charge you a $4 in-room dining charge, plus a 21% service fee. Plus tax.

So, with tax and tip downstairs I pay $24-25. To eat breakfast in my pajamas (or lack thereof) I would pay $46 to get less. Yeah, I think it's worth $20 to put on my clothes and go get my own food. Even if it is a long elevator ride.

Dinner & a movie (a.k.a. Fork & Screen)

I had the most enjoyable dinner and a movie experience I've had in awhile. This may be more of a product that I hardly ever go out to dinner and a movie on the same night than anything else (at least since Thurman was born). I do wish my kids could have experienced it with me though.

I'm at a conference (AIR) in downtown Atlanta this weekend, which would be much cooler if downtown Atlanta actually had anything interesting to do. (Yes, yes, there's the Coke museum and the aquarium...and lots of hotels and parking garages.) Seriously, Hoboken has more restaurants and things to do than downtown Atlanta.

I learned from the local planners of the conference that more of the "night life" and entertainment are in little suburban clusters around the city. So, having nothing on my schedule after 4:00 today, I decided I'd take the MARTA train out and check out one of them. I ended up party by chance in the suburb of Buckhead, GA- about a 20 minute ride.

My main goal for the evening was to find a movie theater and go to dinner afterwards, and my trusty iPhone found a couple of cinemas in the area. One had kind of a weird name, the AMC Fork & Screen. I figured it must be some kind of local whimsical name or something. It was the nearest to the train station, so I headed over to check it out.

I knew going in that my family was going to see "Up", and a showing of that movie was starting soonest (my other choice, Terminator, was starting at 8:00, too late). So I got a ticket at the outside ticket window and headed inside. I was greeted by an attendant, and saw there was a bar in the movie theater, which seemed a bit odd. The attendant took my ticket, and then handed me a menu, which I must have looked at in a rather blank or confused manner. He asked if I had ever been there before, to which I admitted I hadn't.

The attendant than calmly explained to me the concept of the Fork & Screen...it's eating dinner while watching a movie. As you can imagine, this is a concept I can buy into easily. I like movies, I like dinner. And ever since watching Pulp Fiction (1995), I have fantasized about eating a big sloppy cheeseburger while watching a movie in a theater just like John Travolta's character bragged about doing while in Amsterdam.

Anyway, it was a very pleasant time. The movie was great. The food was good (Fish & Chips, I had a big sloppy burger last night). I even had popcorn for desert. It was great, I even got to fill out a survey afterwards.

So, upon returning to my room I decided to try to find out how many other AMC Fork & Screens there were. Other than Buckhead, GA there appears to be only one...in Olathe, KS (suburb of Kansas City). Which is really kind of sad. I hope they get more so I can recommend them to friends. I can still recommend them I guess, but no one I know gets to Kansas City or Atlanta that often. Well, enjoy it if you can!

----

Separately, I will highly, highly recommend "UP". Just about everything Pixar does is great at minimum, and often achieves movie greatness. "Up" is definitely among the best of the best of the Pixar movies. Do yourself a favor and go see it (with your kids if you have any) in the theater.

The Lollipop Guild

There are many things that I will always remember about my wedding day. My beautiful bride-to-be, all my friends and family. How sunny and nice it was (maybe a bit on the warm side, it was August and I was wearing a tux). That I got "my own" chocolate cake.

And of course, the betrayal of my closest friends.

Ok, so that's a bit overboard. It's actually quite funny, and has given us two great stories. The first is "Cake's Day Out", which will have to wait for another time. This is the story of the Lollipops.

Every groom should fully expect to be pranked I guess. I should have been more alert and vigilant. But my friends were sneaky, determined, and feeling very playful I guess.

I expected the car decorations. Everyone does that, it's practically a required part of the marriage ritual. But I did not expect to find all those lollipops in my hotel room.

Rewinding a bit...

The culprits were Travis and Stephanie Noe, Aaron Janssen, Shannon Dyer, and my own little sister Katie (Hamborg at the time). I don't know who's idea it was, but they all played their roles. One of them (Steph, I believe) went into Carma's purse to find our room key. I think I may have told Aaron which hotel we were staying at, clearly without thinking or being suspicious.

However, when the crew arrived at the hotel, they were unable to get the room number from the front desk, much to their frustration. They started to estimate how many hotel rooms there were...it was well over a hundred. Then, walking around the building, they realized there was a whole other wing they hadn't accounted for. The odds were stacked against them, and they didn't have a whole lot of time.

Not wanting to give up, Travis entered the hotel via an end door, and thought to try the key on a few doors on each floor just to see if he would get lucky. He didn't get very far (only three doors tried, I think) before one surprised him and turned green. They had found our room.

So, they put about 50 lollipops everywhere in the room. In the towels, the pillowcases and sheets, and in our suitcase. I must admit here they could have done much worse, for which I'm grateful they didn't.

Later on, they made a "confession" tape describing these events for posterity. I hope I still have that somewhere.

So, Carma and I discovered a bunch of lollipops. The next day we were to have our gift opening, at which would be our friends yearning to know how well the lollipop gig went over (and dying to tell us their story as well). However, we decided to concoct a little tale for them that went something like this:

"You guys will never believe what happened last night! When we got to the hotel (in full wedding garb), they decided to upgrade us their "Honeymoon Suite"! It had a jacuzzi and everything! Very awesome!"

To which they looked rather surprised and taken aback. I could see the thoughts, "Oh no! Someone else will find all the lollipops!" It was great. But then of course I had to let them off the hook.

"Or, I could just tell you instead that we found a crapload of lollipops everywhere."

******

Fortunately, that's not quite the end of the story. You see, Aaron got married a couple years later. Carma and I certainly wanted a shot at revenge, and Aaron knew it. He was very careful not to tell ANYONE where he was staying that night, and took all sorts of precautions.

Which was fine, we were determined, and even better, we knew where he lived. We got his house keys from his brother, and Trav and Steph joined us for a bit of Lollipopping. We had over 100 lollipops, and we spread them all throughout the house. In the closets, in the washing machine, the freezer, garage, couch cushions, and anywhere else that seemed like a good idea at the time. Then in his basement, we filmed "The Denial". With lollipops in our mouths, sitting in his basement, we claimed to the video camera to have had no involvement whatsoever. I'm sure we were convincing.

We returned to the wedding festivities, with lollipops in our mouths. For some reason, this made Aaron nervous and ask "What did you do?" We told him he'd find out soon enough.

I think he was still finding lollipops over a year later. It may have taken Holly awhile to forgive us.

Return of the Jedi

Ok, so this post was started by watching the most recent episode of Lost, "Some Like it Hoth". A mild spoiler: in the episode Hurley disses the ewoks in Return of the Jedi. I had the gall to agree with the idea that the ewoks were lame on Facebook. Banter ensued. And now I must resurrect my blog to state my case.

When Return of the Jedi came out, I was 9. Of course I loved it at the time. What kid didn't? My own sons like it the best of the movies as well. But for me, it hasn't held up well over time. The original Star Wars was ground-breaking, entertaining, and enjoyable. The Empire Strikes Back still remains a pinnacle of the genre, a well-done character driven story set in a rich universe.

But Return of the Jedi? It is a so-so film with poor dialog, wooden acting, and ewoks. Let's detail some of these faults of the film and its divergences from its predecessors.

1) The neutering of Han Solo. Han Solo in the original Star Wars was a smuggler, a borderline guy who had his back up against the wall, shot first (originally), trusted only Chewie, and was only in it for the money, until the end. In Empire, he's still relatively consistent in character, and his growing care and love for Leia is one of the main storylines. In Jedi, literally he does nothing to progress the story, and is essentially a cardboard cut-out of a character that shoots a few one-liners. Granted, part of this may be Harrison Ford's fault for not wanting to really be the character anymore, but who could blame him with this awful script? He might as well be wearing a t-shirt saying "I'd rather be filming Indiana Jones".

2) All those who hate Jar-Jar, raise your hands. Now, blame the ewoks. They were the first shot fired in the "Dang! I can print my own money selling toys!" war against the movie patron. Seriously, the ewoks are probably the first-ever mass introduction of a commercial product into what was supposed to be a feature film. Legend has it that the original concept was to have a planet of Wookies- Chewbacca's home planet (much later introduced in Episode 3). But Wookies weren't new, cuddly, and loved by children under the age of 8 that had parents with decent disposable incomes. No, instead we got ewoks. And the Ewok Special. And cartoons, toys, plush ewoks, lunch boxes, playsets, Underoos, and "comic relief". (And the awful, awful "Yub-nub!" song.)

Consider this tidbit of information: the word "ewok" is not in the movie. Anywhere.

3) Carrie Fisher was clearly stoned out of her mind during the filming of this movie. Not that it really detracted from her "acting" skills. This isn't really evidence supporting my case, but I'm just feeling bitter.

4) Another reason to hate RotJ: the Death of Boba Fett. Boba Fett was a ruthless bounty hunter, responsible for the capture of Han and the near-capture of Luke, and was the second-most formidable foe next to Darth Vader that the heroes faced. So, what happens to him?

He is killed off in a comical manner to serve up a burp joke.

This travesty is not in keeping with the tone of the movies that had been established. Really, it's a farce. It shows what sort of nonchalance the movie itself was being treated with, and that it was not a creative vehicle, but one motivated by profits alone. Which also serves as a strong condemnation of Episodes 1-3 as well, come to think of it.

One Boy at a Time

NICO

Nico's latest hijinks involve charming cute girls and then taking advantage of them. Everyday for pre-school, we (mostly Carma) pack Nico a bunch of food for snacks throughout the day to complement his school lunch. This apparently is still not enough food to satisfy his insatiable appetite. 

No, now Nico has resorted to charming the girls in his class to share their lunches with him too.

We found out about this recently, as we usually ask Nico how his lunch was. We've found all sorts of interesting things (like the foods he'll eat at school, but not at home) this way, but this is the most alarming (so far). One day he told us "I had four chicken nuggets. Then Julia shared her nuggets with me too." Today, we found that Saranya "shared" her pizza with him. Other days, other foods, other girls. For all we know, he's left a trail of broken hearts as well as crumbs in the cafeteria. I'm sure we'll hear more about it at his parent-teacher conference next week.

The other reason this really worries me: if he eats this much now, imagine how bad it will be when he's a teenager. I may have to get a second job at the grocery store just for the discounts.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

THURMAN

Thurman may not be breaking hearts or swindling food, but he is having another rough time on the sporting front. He's now in the Hoboken basketball little league (unsure of the exact name of the program), and they've played two games so far. Both have been ridiculously crushing defeats where the opposing team has scored at least 25 points, and they have only broken double digits once (10).

Given the losing season he endured for soccer last fall, I feel sorry for the kid. On his team, he's literally one of four players who are able to dribble and walk at the same time, much less actually make a basket or play defense. Unfortunately, only one or two of the others that can play show up on any given week. Compound this with the fact that so far the teams they've faced are taller, better coordinated, and can dribble, shoot, run, and defend, it just seems like the entire league is rigged against them.

I'm not sure they'll be able to win any games this season, and I'm sure it will be an exercise in frustration to watch. I'm not sure how else to show my support though. It's not like I have any pointers or advice I can give to Thurman, I suck at basketball worse than some of his teammates. 

I do have to give Thurman a lot of credit though. He hustles to the ball, and does his best. Last week he scored 4 of the team's 10 points, getting a bucket and sinking two foul shots. I can only hope that the rest of the team tries as hard as he does. Hopefully perseverance will pay off for them.