Your Guardian Angel

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

'Cause you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
'Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

The Red Jumspuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel

So emo. So... me? Simple songs like this always seem to find their way into my heart. And I hope I'll have the strength to stand up with you forever.

I'm still here...

Just to let my loyal readers (if they ever existed) know that both of us are alive and kicking. Too lazy to write down all the things that have been happening for the past 2 months. A lot. Been going out so much. Grandparents visited us. =D Eating the chicken they cooked for me. Superb!

Going to Penang during the National Day week with the Indian gang from RI/RJC. Hope they're not pissed with me 'cause I only managed to get them one unit with 4 beds. There are 8 of us. The caretaker was confident about fitting us in though. It'll be super cheap too. S$12.50/pax for 5 days. Total spent on accomodation=S$100. =) One of the few things for which I'm greatful to be in the SPF. Took a whole lot of convincing my dad on my part and my grandfather's part to let me go. Quite happy with this for now. Paves the road to travelling further.

Planning to go on a 3D/2N Genting trip with my Police friends in Oct. It's fully subsidized by my division, even most of the meals. Will probably only need to pay for 4 meals. =) Will need to convince my dad (again) to let me go for this one. So soon after the one to Penang in Aug. Haha.. Need to plan properly when I can broach the topic. But has to be soon. Registration deadline is this Fri.

Sounds like I'm very happy here even though I was complaining just a few months ago, right? I'm still not happy with some things, but am resigned to them now. I can't help the way some things are. That's life.

ORD is nearing (under 100 days!) and that has helped bolster my good spirits as well. =D

"I'm Still Here"

I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that's held in your arms.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway…
You don't know me,
And I’ll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man..
You can take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own.
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
The don’t know me,
'Cause I’m not here.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,But I’m still here.

They can’t tell me who to be,
‘Cause I’m not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin’,
While I keep on dreamin’ for me.
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I’ll never believe.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can they say I never change
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
‘Cause I’m still here.

I’m the one,
‘Cause I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.

Johnny Rzeznik - I'm Still Here

Love this one. Always manges to lift my spirits. From the Treasure Planet soundtrack. The music video is inspiring as well.

How it doesn't matter what people around you say. About reaching out for those dreams. As long as you believe in yourself, you can.

I'm the one, 'cause I'm still here.

Hey There Delilah

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me (X4)
What you do to me...

...A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me (X4)
What you do to me.
Ohh...

Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah

It's just so simple... and sweet..

First time I heard it, my best friend popped into my head. Don't ask me why. And I've omitted parts of the song to suit what I felt.

Sunny bright

Today was such a great day. I wasn't feeling pissed at my father when I reached home, like I usually am. The weather was perfect. The sun was bright and sunny, even at 6pm. The kind of day when you just feel like playing some game outdoors.

The spoiler would be the meeting in the office that went on for nearly 3 hours. So many matters to be discussed, new matters arising, matters on the agenda and matters I did not even write in the agenda. Too bad I can't elaborate more on it. Not that I really want to or madan would really want me to.

I made today less special, and more ordinary, by asking Ma if she wanted anything from NTUC Xtra, which I usually pass through on the way home. Bought the tins of mushroom and a loaf of bread that my sister would probably finish before I even had a chance. Surprisingly, she gave me all of the leftover chocolate rice cake from yesterday. Then again, it was leftover and she didn't really like it (that was the excuse).

Oh well, that didn't matter. My father had to leave for an appointment with a client when I got home. That means I haven't spoken a single word to him today. And I hope he returns late, so I would be asleep with no words uttered to him. That would make my day, no matter what else happened.

"What's up with my tagboard?" and other stories

How come my tagboards get screwed up after a while, every single time? This time, I can't even access cbox.ws. "403 Forbidden" error. Did the SG govt impose a ban on my tagboards or something while I wasn't looking? Oh well... Luckily people can still write their comments on my posts. So, people who actually spent your precious time reading this crap (there can't be many of you), you can leave me a message by commenting on my posts.

Anyway, been pretty busy at work. Personal life as well. Getting PNSD to hurry up with my new 11B. (I know it's my fault I lost my 11B and have to get it replaced, but do they have to take what, 5 months for it? I lost it in Nov by the way, and have been hanging around with just a piece of paper with my IC no. and address on it since.) Soon I'll be able to apply for citizenship. Oh yay...
Signed up for an Advanced Diploma in Mass Communications after much persuasion of my father to let me learn something new. (He still does not approve.) Waiting for their acceptance letter. The course starts at the end of May.
Waiting for PNSD (again) to give me approval to do part time work after office. Always takes them months to do anything. Sometimes I wonder if they even vaguely understand what is E-F-F-I-C-E-N-C-Y. Let me spell it out again just to re-emphasise my point. E-F-F-I-C-E-N-C-Y. Wow. Maybe after that I'll apply to join the Spelling Bee, where I won't even be considered because my application form reached them after the deadline as PNSD was trying to figure out E-F-F-I-C-E-N-C-Y.
Then there's driving. Passed my Basic Trial Theory Test, BTT, Final Trial Theory Test and am now waiting for the 11 of May to take my FTT. Then will book my TP test date (probably early Nov for private students) and actually get behind the wheel for practical lessons. Wheeee!!!

Plans after that have yet to be confirmed. Please wait patiently for the updated calendar of events. Thank you for your kind understanding.

Offence taken

"We, the public, are easily, lethally offended. We have come to think of taking offence as a fundamental right. We value very little more highly than our rage, which gives us, in our opinion, the moral high ground. From this high ground we can shoot down at our enemies and inflict heavy fatalities. We take pride in our short fuses. Our anger elevates, transcends."

- extract from 'At the Auction of the Ruby Slippers' in East, West by Salman Rushdie

Yes, the very same who wrote the highly controversial The Satanic Verses, which is banned in Singapore. More on rage can be found in another of his books, Fury, where he goes into greater detail describing anger, furor, rabidity and wrath; all of which essentially mean the same.

It's A Beautiful Day!

It's a beautiful day.

When I woke up this morning, the sun was shining through my window and was reflected off the wall, which gave the room a sort of glow as I lay on my bed, you know what I mean? And I knew today was going to be a good day. The morning sun has always had that sort of effect on me. Nothing was going to spoil it; I wasn't about to let that happen.

So far it's been okay. Nothing spectacular. But nothing bad either. I'm going swimming with Berton later. Fun. Maybe if my friends in the US are awake and online, I will talk to them. That would make my day. Then it would truly be a beautiful day for me.

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Beautiful Day - U2