honeymoon

We arrived holding hands not knowing what to do. we had no car and it was getting pretty late. We had to reach Mount Cook before dusk and it was an estimated 6 hr drive from the Airport. There were infinite road maps. I grabbed one quickly. It was our only life saver.

Awak managed to finally got his driver’s license a month or so before this trip. Entering CTE in Singapore for the first time was mind boggling experience for him. So we knew that it was gonna be a big risk. A road trip for the entire 2 weeks in a... well, totally foreign traffic.

He jumped, wanted badly to test out the weather. From a distant I saw a disappointed face and I could recognize those lips. He whispered, “it’s suppose to be freezing cold right?”
and yeah, right about there, the wind blew on his face. He froze, shivered and tested out again. There were smoke coming out from his mouth.

You are not used to it, don’t misjudge our Mother Nature.

The car we had was perfect. When I first entered, it stinks. Cow dung.
Overtime we got really used to it. The car stench of chilli sauce + cow dung + coffee + cig + mud + wet coat, etc
We were lucky that I managed to burn like 5 cds last minute. We played the songs over and over and over again mixtures of country and punk rock. They played good rock music but because we jumped to places a lot, the FM station just couldn't keep up.

So, yea what we did next? Turn right or left or straight. I was the navigator and for the first time I was proud of myself when I said
“turn right and go all the way straight…”
For the next 3 hrs, we were dumbfounded.

Slowly we monitored the temperature. It literally dropped every hour passing by.

The first town was a scary one because yeah because it was THE FIRST I guess. We saw Kebab Stall and figured that it shouldn't be that sinful. it wasn’t easy to get Halal food around. And then we tried searching for supermarket and upon arrival, we were clueless man, lol. Cos I don’t cook so does dean. We don’t know what to buy and so we bought, chips, cookies, Maggie, 2 bottles of Coke and milk, chocolate powder, gummy err yea. So erm that’s pretty much for dinner.

They don't eat with chilli sauce so we couldn't swallow the fish and chips. We went to a nearby stall grab 3 bottles of Thai Sweet and Sour Chilli Sauce, stored it in our car compartment and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Perfect.

So yea, the day passed by quickly, we didn’t want it to end too quick. There was one night in Dunedin I held his hand and said “I’m gg to miss you” It felt like a dream, everything, like I don’t wanna wake up cos I will miss this boy. This boy who were there for me, who protected me. This boy who was always next to me sheltered me thru snow, wind, rain and rocks. He carried me when there were so many land mine on the field (haa I meant cow dung of course).

We had a lot of fun doing the impossible. Like water rafting. Water rafting I thought was easy but I was wrong. Imagine, you had to paddle through that angry river with your fingers numb. Yea the weather was definitely a challenge.Almost all the activities I wanna give up because I had to do it with a numb hand and i wasnt used to it. It was fucking on average 7 to zero degree throughout. Even the sun didn’t help at all and its only autumn. I cried climbing the glacier, I swear. Its not a joke you know. People died climbing that glacier. I saw flowers at a few corners and that represented death. Even the roads were crazy. It was never a straight road, 25 even 15 degree turn at almost all corners. You will never know what to expect. Bungy was fun for sure. Mount cook's beautiful and peaceful and the lakes, how can I ever forget all the lakes, magical. The sea, the breeze I had to wrapped my face with cloth. It was freezing forever.

Everytime i got scared awak hugged me, I sniff his body and I felt calmer, warmer. In peace.

The small town had crazy teens around, especially Greymouth. unfortunately, we were chased by gangster one night. But we made it through eventually.


I cannot erased from my mind, That night, we were in slipper in Christchurch. We watch ‘The Reader’ and everyone looked everyone was so formal as we pretended like nobody cares.
In that busy street, the guy strummed his guitar so loud the police siren but dean said to me “I don’t want us to pretend to be old too fast just because we got married. Let’s stop pretending let’s do it our way”
YOU TOOK OFF YOUR SHIRT IN THE SNOW
You protected me when we were climbing up the glacier, you carried my bag. You pushed me to climb the mountain when I cried. Everyone looked I was embarrassed but I saw you, you were proud of me.

Above all the biggest challenge was that I didn’t meet Dean for a month before the wedding day and suddenly we were man and wife. It was confusing, was hard figuring who he was and how I was to him. Initially, first few day at NZ, we acted like man and wife. It wasnt us. We felt kinda jaded. So that night, I got up, jumped at his back and closed his eyes. And i told him to stop pretending.

Slowly but somehow, we managed to go back to normalcy again.

so, Ive uploaded the photos in facebook.
I will upload videos here okey, this is weird but ermm Ive made like a documentary-like-horrible-i cant understand what the hell i was thinking- video. will share with guys, I will upload bit by bit when I got the time cos im using youtube. I guess by end of the week I should have almost all the 2 wks trip video.


So here are a few video first, will show the rest maybe later tonight ;)




I didn’t know where the dikir barat song come from, lol. Awak you are mad!









































alrighty post more later, bye..

we finally tie ourselves up permanently in the name of love.
to all of you. every single one of you - we thank you so much, for being here.
we love you so much and appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts.
Only Allah know how speechless i was on that day.


it was like a fairytale:)

this is my fairytale

When you start believing in happily ever after fairytale, your dream can come true.

There was a time when i was 12, i saw this fairytale show at Raffle City shopping centre. The princess was from beauty and the beast. She was wearing a yellow golden dress. She was so beautiful and happy. Tall and white.

I love watching her dance. It was so magical. In my heart i had fallen in love with her.

I pray to myself that despite the pain i always had - people always call me ikan buntal and monster. I know in my heart that someday i want to dance like the princess.

I always enjoyed watching beauty and the beast and snow white. I believe so deeply that someday i will have my prince. The frog.

That night, on 31 oct 2003, when this frog asked me to be his at chinese gdn mrt, i kissed him.

So here we are, here lies all my so-called fairytale. 2 days more..

Finally would i say.. And so princess rynn and the frog live happily ever after.


Insyaallah,amin.

It has been 2 wks plus since we last met.
And 3 weeks more to go.

I know I was acting as though I don’t give a damn, as if I don’t miss you.
God knows, I didn’t sleep well every night. Sometimes I cried.
I can’t concentrate at work,
Went shopping alone at Orchard Rd and bought you a lot of stuffs (of course no one knows)- IN HEELs, now my toes are numb I swear!
And secretly kept counting the days left from my hp in the crowded bus, at 8am and 645pm.

I was just trying to be brave so you don’t need to worry.


I miss you awak,
I miss you
I MISS YOU




And today, at work,
I miss our long chats at Pierce Reservoir.

So last night was the last night to meet Dean
And I cried like a baby!

We did our final shopping. Awak bought me purple roses thank you.
He made me wear poncho and made fun of me the whole day, for the last time.
Awak came over my place to help me tidy our room -for the last time.
He wrapped newspaper at our cupboard, nag endlessly at the way I fold clothes. And warn me to wash our towels before he use it, he claims he will knew if I tricked him.
I FART AT HIM AND IT BLOODY STINK FOR THE FIRST TIME (OPS) –FOR OUR LAST NIGHT (my gift to him haha)
He wrote final reminder on what to pack for our honeymoon. Swallow the final ice coffee I made (without asking me to add more sugar).
Laughed at my mum lame jokes.
Watched TV with me. Tickled me many many.


When I sent him off at my door, when he start making his usual peek-a-boo goodbye stucked out his short tongue at me.
That moment, was the last. The last I see him as my friend, my best friend. My partner my fiancé, my boy friend. My lover, my everything.
The last time.

Then flashback of these 6 yrs we shared emerged from his eyes. I saw us in our happiest times our LAMEST times our darkest moment. He was always there for me, and as I SALAM him for the last time, I looked up him and time really really stood still for the longest time then I dunno why but I said the next time I SALAM you will be at the pelamin and when I look up, you will be my husband..

It was so hard to close the door that night, I kept peeking at him. Then I start giggling like hell, but I dunno why tears kept dropping down. Is this tears of joy? I dunno..
I kept thinking of OUR FRIENDSHIP for the past 6 yrs.







So 1 more month..

omg izan , i cant believe ure getting married. lol!

ARGH i heard 1 million of that already. And they are all laughing at me especially err grandma and stuffs like its Izan and Omg Izan really getting married omg izan dunno how to cook izan havent mature izan so young bla bla bla..

I havent change the reason why i get married and how i look at marriage. Yea There were moments where i got a lil confuse with the meaning and start trying to grow up got a lil messy and stuffs. Similar with dean too. All we can say its thank god this blurrr is over. Now we are back and being ourselves. The wars we had i can conclude was due to the fact that we try to imitate what marriage means generally without the given facts that hey me and dean are in it on a diff kind,

The reason why we get married was not that i wanna spend the rest of my life serving him. dean too is not keen on being so responsible of someone. We like to be independent. I mean love will show us the way. Why i want to get married now is simple. because i am deeply in love with him that i wanna share my everything no boundaries i wanna do everything in this life with him without any forbids. I wanna like die with him like i dun wanna any other man.

Is someone too young to be married. I guess love doesnt go by number. If a love is this strong why wait.

I knew it at the very beginning and i have never been so sincerely sure that i am unconditionally in love with him.

So why wait,

I know it takes time to be a very responsible woman and i guess i.ll try to learn along the way. I mean why so serious?

Life is like an adventure

I know that every mistakes i made bad choices are here to make me better stronger

I don't wanna grow up yet so does dean. We'll just be weird for now and explore more about ourselves

you may think it was easy to reach today. 1 month to our dream, our wedding day.
it was harder than you can ever imagine.

well, humans, we made mistake we fall we hurt. we changed, we grew up.
but love.

LOVE REMAINS
LOVE IS STRONG

and that was what i learnt


the greatest challenged i had to this wedding day was over the last weekend. on velentines day. when we had the biggest war of our life, where we could give up.
but it was a miracle.

Thank you Allah.



we were really tired i can say. and i am very lazy to bother mr dean.
so when we were having the "candlelight" dinner, awak made his beautiful vday speech saying he love me he needs me yadayada.

and i replied "you know, i am very tired of this rship i wish i can runn away from you sumtimes.."
then suddenly awak face changed. like he was shot at the heart. omg i can still remember the look. he was soo hurt i know. he was so angry he can barely say out loud "eh jom-balek"



i always runn away thats for sure, everytime we quarrell i will run awayy very farr away. but i know no matter how far i runn, awak will chase me. i can feeeeeeel him chasing me. even one time at sempang bedok i ran into a hutan and i got so scared then i fell then suddenly i saw a hand.
it was awak.

no matter how far i hurt him. how far i run from him.
he will chase me. and he reasoned "YOU THINK I CAN BEAR SEE YOU ALONE?"

back to the story
so that day at vivo, i wanted to run away but he held my hand " he said i will send you" he was very fuck up. i had no money with me (my wallet at his bike box) so i demanded money and he gave me $14. a $10 dollar note and 2 $2 note. then when we were outside near tangs that night i realise he was holding a lighted cig, while we were waiting for the traffic light to get to his bike,

i rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


i went into tangs, i turned here and there, i ran up the escalator and into a toilet. i ran soooo far i dun even noe where i was. then i saw the train to sentosa. i thought i wanna go there but i got scared.

then again i saw the word sentosa-the place where he rescued me many years ago

i turned my back, awak was not there.
and i look at my hand. i was holding the $14 he gave me.

i was so lost.



i wanna go home but my keys are with him my hp everything. no one at home at that time.
i dunno where i should go.

i kept walking, there were so many couples.
i pray to Allah " why this happen? "


then
suddeennlyy

i burpppp
then i smell the food awak just blanja me. then i remembered early in the day he went to my house while i was asleep to surprise me with a beautiful candle for our room. then he bring me to makan. and all the way i was so angry with him
i duno whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


then suddenly i heard awak voice in my heart
"YOU TINK I BEAR TO LEAVE YOU ALONE"

THEN I TURNED, AND HE WAS NOT THERE
and i started to cry

and i started to talk to myself that i didnt even know
i was mumbling and i try to fig it was so hard
i was saying "AWAK I'M SORRRRRYYYYYYYYYY"


so i find my way back to awak. i ran back to where he parked his bike.
i know its pointless because i know this time awak has went home
he has left me

so i rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn with so much regret.
i kept hearing his voice "YOU TINK I BEAR TO LEAVE YOU ALONE"

it was so tiring. i was at vivo and his bike at bus interchange.
as i reach the carpark my heart beat SO FAST
i was so scared of the outcome.


IT WAS ALREADY AN HOUR SINCE I ROAM AROUND ALONE AT VIVO
IT IS NOT POSSIBLE THAT IN THAT HOUR AWAK COULD STILL BE HERE
HE SHOULD HAVE LEFT






i paused
then my heart DROPPED



his bike was still there






AWAK IS STILL HERE
AWAK IS FINDING ME
IT HAS BEEN 1 HOUR AND AWAK IS STILL FINDING ME




i sat next to the bike, then i criedd like an idiot
i was so horrible!

then somebody said in my heart "you shouldnt give up this test"



after another hour after so many mosquito bite
i saw awak
he was walking looking down.

i stood up ran to him and HUG HIM SO TIGHT AND SAID SORRY

(he was shocked of course lol)


i hugged him for the longest time.
then he looked at me and said " i will never give up "



this is the most unforgettable velentines day


















now.

1 month plus.
the next time we meet will be our ROMM, next week
and that will be our last, until our wedding day. (1 month cannot meet)



and i said to him and i tell everyone here
"kite janji awak, kite akan tunngu awak di atas our pelamin"

-we nikah at pelamin so that will be the next place we meet.

so yea, once again we went bt timah (awak's last minute idea which made us start very late) and this time- we went to jog. yes you heard me right. jog at bt timah. awak is a crazy person indeed.
so we start off by getting lost- instead of jogging towards the summit, we jogged towards macritche (my bet) and we had to make one big u-turn where it was already 5.30 pm by then.
so we struggled to reach summit before it turned really dark (again awak didnt quite much help it as he goes on saying, hey so what if its dark or raining, we still can jog wat!) -siow

wahlao, how to jogg?

yeap, we had time for posing posing

pit-stop

yeap yeap, very hard to jog

very the tired lor

and mr dean, sempat make his "mini waterfall" -really siow

arghhhhhh!

finally

and it started raining, so awak make me hat so i wont take MC

ok so on our way down, awak taught me kung-fu (ya.. right!)
we challenged-the person who kick the highest will be the first person to use the towel (yeap apparently we only had one towel on that day)

ready..

this is what they call -MAMBANG

so at night , after the jog awak asked me to play playground. which i cant because i twisted my foot (thanks awak). so he played alone.

he took 10 tries! its not easy

so yea after the night, after my leg bruise and got twisted, awak said "eh we go take part in Standard Chartered run coming up real soon, i go sign up at Expo. I tink 32 km, i think ah. BECAUSE you know we can get free Adidas singlet oi"
WAT THE FUCK!?@#!@$?@?#$





********






AND SUNDAY
ONE MORE TIME
WE PLANNED NZ
AND STILL





DIDNT COME OUT WITH ANYTHING MUCH
CONCLUSION: WE GG TO DIE


WHY?
COS MARCH ONWARDS, I AINT MEETING MR DEAN NO MORE.

again, weekend was super BUSY BUSY BUSY. damn it.
still no time for fun. i know right.













on saturday, we rushed to Ikea to order bedside table. we bought crappy items like cushion, lamp, light, bottom line, aunty stuffs.

then we headed to Pasir Ris Park where over there, awak surrender all his stress to the open sea. He threw away his paranoid thoughts and his Mac Donald Delivery career into the sea. he's like finally FREE.
i can see, he smiled longer after that and still had time to play catching with me, where, yea he lose.


then on sunday, we rushed to Barang-Barang sale at Plaza Singapura to grab some pots and flower. it is 50% off, so hurry.

then we rushed to Changi Airport to run plan out our New Zealand route (what better place to be, lol). and i tell you it was so tough. we figure from 3pm to 9.30pm and still have lots to do.
we have to checked on the route, petrol location, time line from point A to B, itineraries with proper scheduling, pit-stops, accommodation where we have to survey thru millions, activities, rental of cars, food, yadayada. freaking crap but choiceless.
moral of story: go for tour LOL
but we do have time for twilight movie,

after so much debate argue and stress we have finally lay-out the "CANNOT CHANGE ANYMORE" route for our upcoming trip to New Zealand which is like yea, 2 mths time.

so, this is the creation from me and awak,
so, for those gg New Zealand South Island --IDEA LEY!

argh


DAY 1 06/04/2009 Monday:
Departure from Singapore at XXXpm

DAY 2 07/04/2009 Tuesday:
Arrival to Christchurch at XXXam
Christchurch-Arthurs Pass
Arthurs Pass-Greymouth

DAY 3 08/04/2009 Wednesday:
Greymouth-Punakaiki
Punakaiki-Greymouth

DAY 4 09/04/2009 Thursday:
Greymouth-Hokitika
Hokitika-Fox Glacier

DAY 5 10/04/2009 Friday:
Fox Glacier (whole day)

DAY 6 11/04/2009 Saturday:
Fox Glacier-Haast
Haast-Wanaka
Wanaka-Queenstown

DAY 7 12/04/2009 Sunday:
Queenstown (whole day)

DAY 8 13/04/2009 Monday:
Queenstown-Te Anau
Te Anau- EXPLORE Milford Rd
Milford Rd-Milford Sound

DAY 9 14/04/2009 Tuesday:
Milford Sound (whole day)

DAY 10 15/04/2009 Wednesday:
Milford Sound-Mount Cook -8HR DRIVE (DIE !)

Day 11 16/04/2009 Thursday:
Mount Cook (morning) –Lake Tekapo (evening)
Lake Tekapo-Mount Cook

Day 12 17/04/2009 Friday:
Mount Cook-Christchurch

Day 13 18/04/2009 Saturday:
Christchurch (depart at XXXam) – HOME SWEET HOME



and, this lovely car-park cat at Terminal 2 really makes my day.