A friend of mine recently read a book by Dr. Bradley about Husband-Coached childbirth. She was irritated by how he seemed to portray women. As I haven't read the book, I cannot comment on that aspect. What I did talk about is how vital my husband was to me in my birthing experience.
Here is the comment I left for her:
Let me start by saying that I haven't actually read the book. Odd, I know, when I usually read everything I can get my hands on about a subject when I am interested in it. However, Scott and I took a Bradley method Prenatal class during my first pregnancy, and used the method for both of our children.
Having always prided myself on being a rational, thinking, educated woman, it was hard to imagine a time when I wouldn't be. But when those contractions really start, a woman's body takes complete control. It is hard to explain, because for our whole life the physical body has been subjected to the mental or spiritual mind. To have the physical body be the one in control is VERY different, and it unnerves the mind. The coach's job during labor is to keep you grounded, to remind you to work with your body instead of against it. This is vital to a good experience in childbirth, especially if you are going natural. Scott could tell the instant that I tensed up. It is the only time in our marriage when he commanded and I gave instant obedience, and I was so relieved that he did. It is a unique and deep partnership, and when labor is over you find that your connection is so much greater than before.
The coach's job is also to ensure that your desires and hopes are met, or to make those difficult decisions if there is an emergency. Trust me, you do not want to make any kind of decision in the middle of a contraction. This is why it is vital that those choices be discussed BEFORE labor begins.
Now, looking back at my two births, I still remember the strength that poured from my husband and into me. How intense and strong his eyes were as he kept me focused on them, how tender and capable he was as he worked with me. It was a deep experience, so focused on each other that the rest of the world faded away until the very end when the birth took place. Our midwife acted as the director, only interfering if she saw problems or making sure the baby was okay. I cannot imagine a birth without Scott, and I hope never to have to go through that. It is something that I encourage every expecting mother to use, and my husband often takes the father aside and gives him pointers. I hope that this note helps give some understanding to the Bradley method, because I have listened to many women talk about their birthing experiences, and when this is the method used there is a huge difference. It empowers our Men. It gives them a job, and that job is vital. In our society we focus on the woman's responsibility in childbirth, and often the men stand in the background, wanting to be involved but feeling out of place and useless. Sorry, this is a much longer comment than I intended. Love ya!
I want to add here that the ones who taught Scott and I were my parents. When I was pregnant with Daniel, my Mother and Father taught us what they did with 9 of their 10 births. It was a great experience to have them share their wisdom with us. My Dad told Scott what he needed to do, and helped him to learn what my stress tells were. Even now, Scott can sense when I get even a bit upset (and being an internal person I always thought I hid that kind of thing VERY well.) As everything else my family does, we highly
recommend doing this process in "The Logan Way!" I do not know (and now I will be reading the book to see) how closely we follow the Bradley method. However, the method was the inspiration that my parents used, and then adapted it to the great way they now teach to those searching. I have had several friends meet with my parents over the years about this, and I think that it has made a difference to them as well.