Truths

So, I've been trying to outline the crazy spiritual journey that's been taking place in my heart, and Eric's heart, for the past few years. (post 1, post 2) Thankfully, we've walked that path together and the Lord has guided us in unison. Opened our eyes together. Grabbed our attention together. Challenged us together. For that I am continually grateful.

I could just race to the point and tell you where this journey is taking us, but if you'll hold with me through this post, you stand a chance at benefitting as I have, and grasping just a bit more of God's goodness, truth, and wisdom along the way. Here are some of the truths I've come to know and believe:

Truth #1: A life lived fully for Christ has no regrets.

As part of our homeschool curriculum last year, we read the incredible story of Gladys Aylward, missionary to China, who did amazing, miraculous things at a young age, but also lost her life at a relatively young age. Finishing the book, though, neither the kids nor myself said, "what a shame she didn't live longer". Instead, we marveled at the way she used every ounce of what she had to give for the Lover of her Soul. If you've never read her story, I suggest this version, as it is perfect for a read-aloud for kids:

Right around the same time, I came across a present-day Believer, Katie, who is giving of herself non-stop for her Heavenly Father as she loves the people of Uganda. Inspiring. Real. Raw. If you've not heard of her before, please start here, and then you just might devour the entire blog like I did. I kid you not. Eric was on a business trip, so I stayed up until the wee hours of the night (morning?) and read every word she'd posted from the beginning. Worth every minute. For me, it was life changing.

Matthew 16:25 "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

Truth #2: God's love and forgiveness comes to us freely, but to truly love Him in return does have a cost.

I will forever be grateful to fellow India adoptive mom, Kristi, for one day posting the links to David Platt's teachings from 2008. The Radical Series is available online for free, but has successfully been released recently as a book:

(obviously a smidge different, but the main idea is just about the same as the original sermons)

And, along a similar vein, I would also recommend Frances Chan's book, Crazy Love:

The overwhelming main point is that you can't just believe in a Christ who takes away the sins of the world, who heals the sick, and helps the blind see. If you call yourself a Christian and you LOVE Him, Jesus spoke directly to you when He said that “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." (Matthew 16:24) But not only that... to do so is pure joy because to die is gain! (Phillipians 1:20-22)

Truth #3: My God expects me to share.

If I do believe that every good and perfect gift is from above (James 1:17), then I must likewise believe that it is not mine to hoard. My talents are His talents. My income is His income. My wisdom is His wisdom. My love is His love ("We love because He first loved us."- 1 John 4:19).

And, knowing what I now know- having been glimpses of God's heart for the oppressed, the widow, the orphan, the hurting, the sick, the lonely...- I must ask myself what resources of mine must I share so that His jaw-dropping, indescribable LOVE may be tangible and understood to those who have felt that His mercy had been out of their reach.

"Deliver those who are drawn away to death, and those who totter to the slaughter, hold them back [from their doom]. If you [profess ignorance and] say, Behold, we did not know this, does not He who weighs and ponders the heart perceive and consider it? And He Who guards your life, does not He know it? And shall not He render to [you and] every man according to his works?"- Proverbs 24:11, 12

There is so much more, but I'm sure I will write that story as the journey continues to unfold.

So, where does that leave us?

Why don't you find out?

Poor

One of my other transformations in thinking came while we were in India. There are so many people there. So much poverty. You hear about it... you know about it... but it's interesting what happens when you actually come face to face with it because the American brain can't really comprehend.

You attempt logic, firstly to explain the poverty. And in the land of the American Dream, where hard work pays off, and everyone has a shot at fame and success, this means you wonder if the poor are to blame.

Typing that seems wrong, but if you've ever hesitated to hand a homeless person a dollar on the side of the road, than you've- consciously or unconsciously- judged whether or not that person had a hand in their circumstances.

"If they only worked harder to get a job"

"If they didn't drink away their money"

"If they weren't so lazy"

Seeing so many lonely roadside stands stocked with coconuts, water bottles, and betel nut packets, it made me wonder why they were attempting to sell the same thing that the guy 20 ft. down the road was selling with no success. There they all sat, in the heat of the day, with no customers. I wondered how they made any money at all!

And aside from the roadside stand owners, there were so many other people simply laying about doing nothing. We wondered if the soaring temperatures made everyone lethargic; I know I didn't feel like being especially industrious in 95 degree weather!

On part of our trip, a smart- yet uneducated- young man (roughly 18?) gave us a tour of a historic site. He was charming, and well-spoken, yet admitted that he couldn't write his own name. He was part of a caste, he said, that didn't allow him to be educated. Jess, who traveled with us, said to him, "You should come to America and go to school!" But how does one tuck away money for a $1500 plane ticket when food is about all your wages will purchase? It's like picking up pennies on the sidewalk, hoping to buy the Empire State Building.

With that, the many layers ... the contributing factors... as to why a person might be poor, come to life.

It's usually more complicated than it first appears.

And, is it our job to judge the poor? To place their reasons for poverty in a hierarchy? Or what about the type of poor that a person is? Poor in spirit? Poor in health? Poor in morals? Poor monetarily? Poor in knowledge? Is one worse than another, or is poor simply poor, no matter the kind?

What does the Bible say?

"Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." Proverbs 14:31

"Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done." Proverbs 19:17

"Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." Proverbs 31:9

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free..." Luke 4:18

"But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind..." Luke 14:13

My mind spun back around, in the end, to the simple command of Jesus:

"Love one another"

We are commanded to love the poor. That doesn't always look like a dollar in a hat, or handout of a meal. In fact, depending on the type of poverty, and the reason for it, real love demands a more long-term action: walking beside someone through addiction recovery, educating a mother in the care of her child, holding someone accountable to their commitment to work, or enabling a poor person's talents to be used.

But, the point- the whole reason I'm writing this- is that I left all my pondering with the undeniable knowledge that God asks us to act. Judging someone's reasons for poverty, with the purpose of excusing myself from helping them, is not Christ-like.

I'm currently reading a great book that sheds light on how exactly one should help the poor. I highly recommend it:

Full disclosure: buy it through this link and Amazon rewards us with 5-15%. :-)

Once you've moved to the point of *wanting to help*, this is a great way to know *how* to help. If you do happen to read it, let me know. I've recommended it others and some good dialogue is happening!

Up Against the Glass

The past year and a half has been one of the most transformative spiritual journeys the Lord has taken me on. Ever.

I've avoided writing, because I just simply can't fathom doing it justice with my words.

Yet, I've felt lately that I must try. God has far too good a story to tell through my life to keep silent! And, really, there is an ending (a beginning?) that I want to share with everyone. So I'm going to start trying. May His words shine through to those who need it!

When we were waiting to bring Dorothy home, I kept encountering people who were touched by the idea of adoption as we shared of our daughter waiting a world away. Many even told me that they’d felt a tug on their heart to adopt, or help orphans. Often, along with those comments, unprompted by me, would tumble any number of disclaimers.

“We just strive to live a comfortable life”

“I don’t need a lot, but you don’t want to get crazy about it, do you?”

“I’d love to adopt, but it just costs so much, and takes so long”


I listened and didn’t judge, because I had travelled that road, myself. Before fully jumping in, I anguished over all the inconveniences and costs and difficulties of adding another child to our home. I still understand the internal battle; it’s just that with us, Love won out.

But, one comment caused an ache within me. I pondered it for days.

“If someone showed up on my doorstep with a baby, then I would know it was God’s will to adopt”

Apart from wanting desperately to get a baby on that person’s doorstep, I wanted to understand. All the other disclaimers admit a personal decision- a choice. That last one puts the responsibility squarely on God’s shoulders- He didn’t show me that it’s His will to care for orphans.

Or did He?

"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows."
Isaiah 1:17

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."
Proverbs 31:8-9

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."
James 1:27

It wasn’t long after this, that God gave me a mental picture- an illustration- an insight. As a challenge, I share it with you:

I am sitting, in our living room, with our surround sound, our big screen TV, and our air-conditioned air. Our large-paned windows separate this clean and cozy family home from the outside. Our next-door neighbor’s yard of trees and shrubs is visible. They’re enjoying their air-conditioning, too. So is the rest of the street. With shiny cars parked in the drive, and well-branded clothing hung in closets. No one stands out as being rich; we’re all at the same level of comfort. “Nothing fancy”, just normal, average, suburban America.

A world away, are child soldiers. Millions of orphans. Poverty. Sickness. Disease. Starvation. Maybe in Africa where people live in mud hut villages? Or India where street children care for each other? But, they’re far. Far too very far for you to see. So they remain statistics- nameless. Faceless.

We remain inactive.

But, a shift in the vision, and then these same hurting people are in our own country. Our town, neighborhood, and house remain the same, but we hear of these people only a few hundred miles from us. The hungry, parentless children are on the news and we send some money, and then flip the channel as we shift uncomfortably in our seats feeling thankful it’s not us and that we live where we live. “We are so blessed”.

Then, the vision shifts again, and our house is the only one standing on our once-fine street. We still have everything we did before: air-conditioning, running water, cable, furniture, healthy hot meals, books and soft comfy beds. But, outside, well-worn footpaths trace around our home from the poor who live around us. In fact, as I watch a movie, a few kids peer in through the window to see the finery and lavishness. They look hungry. And all that separates us is a pane of glass.

What I realized in that illustration was this: the distance shouldn’t matter! We should be uncomfortable with the knowledge of their plight, and should be motivated to act! Whether a child is fatherless in a foreign land, or fatherless and abandoned on your very own porch makes no difference. My resources are the same. My ability to impact a life is the same. God’s expectation of me is the same. And, if I truly follow Him, I already know how He feels.

Never take advantage of any widow or orphan. If you do and they cry out to Me, you can be sure that I will hear their cry.
Exodus 22:22-23

Sandy Maego

I've been a terrible blogger. We got a dog in August and this is the first I'm posting of it.

Meet Sandy Maego:

She is an Airdale Terrier.

Dorothy started out bigger than her, but not any longer. Sandy is about 50 pounds now, and might have some growing left in her. But, Dorothy's attitude is still one of dominance. She bosses Sandy around All. Day. Long. Sometimes Sandy listens. Sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes their interactions are super cute. (Like when Sandy obdiently sits for Dorothy when she requests it in her tiny squeaky 3 year old voice) Sometimes they're super annoying. (Like when Sandy trys to con Dorothy out of her breakfast and Dorothy is squawking "No! Sandy! No!") They are a hilarious duo!

In the early days, we put Sandy in the bike carrier, and took her with us around town. Now she's far too big for that, but it was cute while it lasted. I'd love to go for a bike ride right now. So. Cold. In fact, as I type this, it's snowing. Again. It has been a cold winter.

Here is Sandy with her sister, Penny Lane. Friends of ours adopted one of the other dogs from the same litter and we get see them romp and play together when we get together. Super fun. A bit crazy for inside play, and not the best idea on a wet muddy day, but still a lot of fun.

Too cute not to post. But obviously with the disclaimer that I. Did. Not. Put. Dorothy. In. There. :-)

And here is a just-about-present-day photo of our doggie now. I love that her Airdale beard is growing in, and her long legs are even lankier. They are really pretty dogs.

Now, I will also say that the Puppy Phase is hard. I ended up deciding that if we were already going to be cleaning up puppy accidents, that I might as well do Dorothy accidents at the same time (I mean, if you've already got the cleaner out... why not?) Sooo... that was an intense month! But, I can tell you they are both successfully trained at this point. Hooray!

Our present challenges are:

-walking without pulling

-jumping on anyone who enters the door

-wanting to "mouth" your hands/ feet/ whatever. She doesn't chew hard, but its still not right. And, I did discover that her saliva makes me itchy. :-(

Overall, though, our doggy addition is a good one. We love our Sandy Maego.

Ten years from now, I might forget the day-to-day Crazy involved in raising 4 kids and keeping house. So little of it is tangible: You fold laundry, and one day later it is dirty again ("where is the evidence of my work???"). You make meals, and nourish your family, but growing bodies- as gorgeous as they are- don't provide obvious evidence of that French Onion soup you spent all day making. So much of it is good, good, rewarding work. Other tasks aren't, yet they need doing anyway.

Today, I just feel like writing it down so I can remind myself of why this season of life passed quickly. It'll likely be a boring post for the rest of you, but I have a feeling I'll enjoy looking back on the snapshot of an average day.

We always talk about birthdays, vacations, promotions, pregnancies, and church productions.

We snap pictures of anniversary dates, opening Christmas presents, and the day our child rides a bike for the first time without training wheels.

But, the average day- with its average qualities- may be the most missed of all with the passage of time.

My friend Jess, who is also a photographer, said that some of her photography friends take on a challenge one time per year to keep the camera out and photograph an average week: eating breakfast, tying shoes, grocery shopping, doing homework, going to church, having family dinner etc. I thought this was a brilliant idea! I still haven't done it; average life seems to have gotten in the way... but it's on my to-do list.

Without further ado, My Day So Far:
- alarm at 5:45am
-wake Grant at 6, and then again at 6:10 :-)
-make school lunches (sandwiches, popcorn, cut carrots, hard boiled egg)
- make coffee for my sweetie and me
- quiz Grant in preparation for a History test on Constitution, Bill of Rights and Amendments
- 7am: kiss Grant and Eric and send them off to school/work
-7am: wake Lael, Dean, and Dorothy
- spend some time nagging so Lael and Dean complete their morning routines
-dress Dorothy
-change out of robe and into workout clothes
-run elementary kids to the bus via van due to frigid snowy morning
- turn on 30 Day Shred video, excercise, and think about how annoying Jillian is, but how this whole thing works so I'll just keep plugging along
-congratulate myself on losing 5 pounds since Christmas
-9am: hop in shower
-throw on clothes
-run Dorothy to pre-school (late! started at 9, we made it at 9:20!)
-Errand time!:
-Insurance office regarding possible new policy
-Hobby Lobby for craft supplies for kids gifts, and a few proactive purchases (craft kits for my kids for the next snow day!)
-Bank for cash, and money orders for Dorothy's OCI card application
-Costco for groceries (Q: where else does a family of 6 shop for cereal?!)(A: no where, silly! Even the huge Costco boxes are gone in the blink of an eye!)
-Whole Foods for things we don't need in insane quantities
-Home to unload groceries (12:15pm)
- play with Sandy (I think I forgot to post that we got a dog...ooops!)
-eat lunch slowly at home in solitude over a good book
-hop in the car to pick up Dorothy (2pm)
- greet Grant (home off the bus) (2:40)
-greet Dean and Lael (3:30)
- survey the damage of them unloading backpacks
-ignore the mess to write this blog post (4:15pm)

To come:
-pick up
-cook dinner items for church small group
- open the door at 6:30pm and enjoy laughter, prayers, and fellowship with dear friends
-whatever else the day holds

What does your average day look like? And, are you cherishing even the mundane moments?

I want to.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Dorothy!

Last year, we were recently home from India and wanted to keep the 2nd birthday celebrations calm, low-key, and non-intimidating.

THIS YEAR was a totally different story! We knew that this little 3 year old had gained a whole world of favorite people who love her and that they ALL should be there!

We had about 50 people crammed into our house to enjoy cake and ice cream. She truly LOVES all these people, from Auntie Angie and Uncle Tim to the neighbor down the street she calls "Uncle JJ". And they seem to love her. I dare say, she's wrapped them all around her sweet little finger!

Leading up to her birthday, she began gaining understanding of birthday-ish things. We went to the Kelso boys birthday and learned the Birthday Song, and talked about how she was "2", but would be "3" before long. About 2 or 3 weeks out from her birthday, she'd wake up in the morning and say, "Happy Birthday???" and I would reply, "Soon." Every. Day.

So, on the actual day, our sweet little girl woke up and I said with a smooch, "Happy Birthday, Dorothy!!!". She giggled and said "soon." It took some convincing and repetition for her to understand that Today was the day.

She wore the sweet little crown to church, and we came home and got ready for the masses to arrive by giving the birthday girl a little nap. She was a bit overwhelmed, but still happy, when she woke up to neighbors, and friends, and family buzzing about the house. Smiles and hugs continued and then it was time to sing and eat cake...

and then the smiles stopped. Even after a year home, and all of her buddies, and all her amazing bonding... 50 people staring at you and singing at you is intimidating! She burst out bawling. Full on, howling-style bawling. Big, big crocodile tears.

{And, I wish I had pictures to show you, but a card error happened with my nice SLR camera and all I have are the few shots I got on the iPhone. :-(}

{And, I will pretty much have to say the exact same thing about a few other recent events since I hadn't transfered pictures to the computer in at least 2 months. Ooops.}

{And, yes, I'm devastated. I might have cried a bit.}

{And, yes, my tech-savvy husband tried his best to retrieve the pictures on his own. He's good, so I have no doubt that it's just unretrievable.}

So, we let the good memories resonate in our minds. Those photos will never do her cuteness justice, anyway. Happy birthday sweet Dot! I am one blessed mommy to have little 3 year old you running around my house!

Nearly a year ago...

Added 9/29: I was unable to embed the video. To see, please click below where it says, "Enjoy the video!".

Enjoy the video!

Coffee for Orphans

God gave me a nudging and a plan for being a resource to others regarding His precious, family-less children. Eric and I, this Friday (9/24 @ 7:00pm), are hosting Coffee for Orphans in our home! Locals in the Nashville area, let me know if you're interested (I'll send the address privately). And if you can't make it this time, suggest a night you'd be free next time!

Invitation details:

Our sweet Dorothy has been home nearly a year now. She has touched so many lives in the time she's been here- possibly even yours!

Maybe you've wondered how you could "do something" to help the millions of orphans around the world... Maybe you've imagined what it would be like to adopt but you have lots of questions... Maybe you simply want information about great organizations to partner with to aid the fatherless near and far...

Please join us for an intimate coffee and dessert night in our home where we plan to equip you with information, be an open book, answer the tough questions, and invite you to join us in helping the fatherless around the world! You will leave with hope, knowing you can Be the Change for One!

This is an Orphan Night and not adoption night- there's something for everyone! In fact, some of the biggest needs exist for orphans who will never have the opportunity to be adopted! Adoption is just one part of the picture- the one we have the most experience with- but just one part.

Some of the topics covered:
-child sponsorship and feeding programs
-how to advocate for an orphan
-"Host an Orphan" programs
-adoption (basic process, how to pay for it, bonding concerns etc.)
-fundraising, for yourself or other adoptive families

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress- James 1:27

Back to School!

I've been saying it for a long time, but our family evaluates each child, each year and prays about where they should be schooled. This year, all three big kiddos are attending public school! That's a simple statement, but it's complex thing. God has things He wants to accomplish in each one of my children, in me, in our home, and plenty of mysteries abound as to how this will be used to glorify our Maker. But, just knowing He has directed this course brings peace, and confidence, and comfort. It's going to be an exciting year!

Lael is entering Kindergarten. Dean is starting the 2nd grade. And Grant is going into 5th grade. K and 2nd are in the same school, and Grant is in an "intermediate" school for 5th and 6th graders.

The tears and reflections that come with sending your "baby" (they're all my babies- not just my youngest!) off to kindergarten feels multiplied by the fact that I really feel like I'm sending THREE kids off this year. It is Dean's first experience with "real school" (having homeschooled the past 2 years), Lael's first experience with school at all (though she did amazingly well with the lessons I did with the boys these past two years!), and Grant's first time back in school after two years as a homeschooler. For him, the transition is probably the hardest.

The intermediate school operates much like a middle school: lockers, periods with different teachers, band, foreign language, stricter dress code (though no uniforms yet!) and higher expectations for personal responsibility (they record their own assignments in a planner, and very little communication comes directly from teacher to parent). I see some intense growing headed our way!

School- for the boys- started 2 weeks ago. Dean was thrilled; he's been practically begging to go to the school that most of the neighborhood friends go to. Grant, was trusting of our decision (though he made it clear he still wanted to homeschool!), but hesitant. We've now had parent orientation nights, some homework, some tests, and some challenges. Give it another month and maybe I'll have a better routine- right now this feels like MORE work than homeschooling!

Lael's first full day of kindergarten is today. She went last week for an hour to test, and went Monday for a mostly-full-day with 4 other students and her teacher (to warm them up). All along, she has been excited, confident, and READY. So ready, in fact, that she's been a bit miffed that kindergarteners had a delayed start! The look on her face in this picture does not say, "I'm frightened" or "I'm nervous"- it says, "I'm impatient! I want to Do. This. Already. And I'm going to Rock It." Eric and I drove her to school, and walked her into the gym where the kids line up until the start of class. I expected to wait with her and walk along to her classroom. Nope. We stood there a bit, and then I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to class. "No, you can go". If we didn't know better, it might even seem that she was embarrassed of us. She's too young for that; Eric and I both agreed that she was just ready to get on with the day and didn't see a purpose of us hanging around. And she was wise, and fine, and so I left her there in line with her new friends, walked out, and turned back one last time to look at her. But she most certainly wasn't concerned with me and had already turned to wave to a girl she met on Monday in class. I felt the burning sting as tears welled up in my eyes and my other daughter, observing it all from my hip, said, "Oh! Water!" as she tried to pinch the droplets off my cheeks.

Eric and I hugged and he drove off to work while I stayed for the "Boo Hoo Breakfast" organized by the school for the parents of entering kindergarteners. A great big spread was in the library and a bunch of us moms chatted and talked of our kids. I almost didn't go because I wasn't sure I wanted to be amongst a crowd of strangers while images of a newborn Lael raced through my mind (where did the time go?!). In the end, it was a good distraction, and I met a few other moms of older kids who are navigating the intermediate school this year also.

I can't wait to hear how Lael's day went!

Dean, as I said, began 2 weeks ago. He got a fantastic teacher, and was also very, very eager to begin school. So eager, that while I hoped and expected to walk him into class on the first day, he simply wanted to be dropped off in the car line! What?! I wasn't ready for that! A few cars in front of me allowed us the time to banter back and forth a few times, "Dean, are you sure I can't walk you in?" "Yes." "Don't you want me to park and come in with you?" "No." "You sure?" "Yes." With a smile on his face, and a confident strut, he marched into the building on his own and I drove away. *sniff* Not how I expected, but isn't that so much better than him being afraid. God's peace, given as a gift to us, is further proof of His mercy and love.

He is asked often by our neighbors and friends how school is going, and he always responds, "Great!". He truly loves it. And his teacher loves him, too. She said he is sweet (we know), and caring (we know), and always willing to give a hug (we know!). Monday, when I dropped of Lael for her half day, I snuck over to Dean's hallway and peered in the door window. He didn't see me, but I guess his teacher did. Later, she shared with me that she asked Dean if he wanted to step into the hall to say hello. Apparently, he said very genuinely, "No. I don't want to miss anything that happens in this classroom." :-)

Grant. I'm so proud of Grant. No matter the setting (private, public, homeschool), he is our child that doesn't love school. But, he knows it needs to happen, and has learned to cope better as each year passes. Out of all my kids, he has developed the most logic- when he doesn't like something, and he knows he must do it, he is the first to just "man up" and get the task done. So, in a sense, he is "manning up" and going to school. He'd much rather do homeschool (which he recognizes is more efficient), but he knows this is what we're doing this year. He is rising to the occasion and trying his very best.

On his very first day, he responsibly set an alarm and got up earlier than I even told him he had to. Without being asked, he did his morning chores and got ready for the day. He may have been slightly nervous, but he didn't let it show much. Eric drove him to school on his way to work and Grant asked him to walk him in. They have a similar "holding" routine to Lael and Dean's school, where the kids are kept in the gym before classes begin. So, Eric stayed with him for a time and then left when it was time for the incoming 5th graders to get the tour and learn where their classes were.

The basics of changing classes, keeping certain items in the locker, writing down assignments in a planner.... all of that... is the overwhelming part for him. And me. I'm overwhelmed a bit at the thought of my 10 year old suddenly being responsible for so much at once and being treated like a mini adult. But, it is good. He may falter a bit for the next month while he learns the ropes (he has forgotten 2 assignments so far, and also left something he needed in his locker one night). However, it seems that I must let him. The end result will be good even if the process is a bit painful at times.

John 14:27 (New International Version)

²⁷Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Tennessee Adoption Day

Appearing in our local court in May to adopt Dorothy was a huge hurdle. Finalizing the adoption this way made every part of her placement in our family complete. Indian courts named us as her guardians, but not her parents, so this step- unlike some international adoption cases- was vital and not a mere formality. In our *hearts* it felt like a formality, but I guess I could say that every step of the process *to our hearts* has been a formality. The second we mailed our dossier to India in pursuit of her, she was our daughter!

That being understood, adopting her in the United States court system means that she is officially ours in the eyes of the law and can gain any privilege that the law allows "natural born" children. She, additionally, gains US citizenship (being fully adopted by two US citizens) and the rights of any American, and can not be deported. We're happy about that! And in amongst the adoption, we could opt to officially change her name to Dorothy.

Adoption Day was also a hurdle and celebration because we represented ourselves, and did it successfully! With all of the other adoption costs we've had, we wanted to keep her US adoption as inexpensive as possible. I'd been told that we had the right to represent ourselves, and that it can be a rather straightforward process for those who've completed much of the process internationally. Being a decently smart, if not determined, person, I was all about figuring out how to do this thing.

First, I called a few lawyers and paralegals to see if anyone would be willing to provide the proper templates or forms for a small fee (so I could do the work myself). Not much luck there. But, one kind lawyer tossed me a bone and said I could try using a legal text by Coppock. Hmmm... "thank you. I'll look that up."

Then, I made an appointment and met with the Clerk and Master of our local court. When I outlined the type of adoption case we were ("India grants guardianship like Korea, and does not finalize the adoption. This is not a re-adoption like China.") she blew me off and said that I should hire a lawyer. Having the right to represent oneself does not mean you'll have the support of the court, I found. I pressed a bit more and mentioned that I'd found a legal text that came recommended by a lawyer. "Coppock, huh?", she said. Probably to get me out of her office, she offered to loan me her copy and even put a few sticky notes in it for me. I borrowed it over the week to make sure it wasn't over my head entirely.

A quick read confirmed that it would be a bit of work, but that I could do it. The court needed their copy back, so I did have to shell out $170 to obtain my own copy. Well worth it. (returning the Clerk and Master's copy with chocolate and a handwritten thank you note was likely a wise move, also)

I submitted our Petition to Adopt with all the supporting documents. The result? A court date and a compliment; the Clerk and Master said that my papers were put together better than some lawyers. YEAH!

A few more documents, along with some triple-checking, and we appeared for court at the appointed time. Everyone looked fantastic. Being homeschoolers who attend a casual church, we had to actually go out and purchase slacks and button-ups for the boys for this day! They had no "fancy" clothes.

I also hadn't realized that our court time was the equivalent of a huge casting call. Hundreds of people given the exact same time to show up, and then the judge worked his way through the docket. I think we sat for about 2 hours before we were called. All of the other cases were divorces. The sad thing was that they had to air everything in public like that and then WE- the happy case!- were pulled privately into the chambers to take our vows and sign the papers. Seems a shame. Our children behaved so well, even though Eric and I were tense about the extended wait with four children in a hushed room on hard wooden benches. (well, hushed apart from the apparently angry woman in the courtroom beside us who could be clearly heard cussing/ screaming through the walls... *that* was fun! It didn't last long. I'm certain the bailiff had something to do with that.)

Finally, we were called back to the judge's chambers. Turns out he is a neighbor we knew already. That's Nashville for you. He outlined how seriously they take adoption cases (citing the recent Russian case that was a tragedy), and had us swear that we would care for her and provide for her and that we knew this was a permanent placement etc. It was very sweetly done and at the end, we took the picture with the judge. Sadly, the person who shot the pic did not crop it well, but I know how beautiful everyone looked that day. We were also happy to finally, officially have Dorothy be OURS.

Leaving the courthouse, we had a celebratory lunch at J. Alexander's and did not leave until we'd had their warm carrot cake!

Then, an afternoon at the Science Center seemed like fun. There was absolutely no line, so the boys did the space jumpy thingy at least twice.

And Dorothy absolutely loved the glow room. The walls are lined with glow-in-the-dark wallpaper. You pose, and then hit a button which turns on BRIGHT lights for about 30 seconds before the room is dark again. Only, once the lights turn off, you can see your "artwork"- black body shapes surrounded by the neon glowing background. Very fun. Even more so if you're two and like pressing buttons!

Fantastic, fantastic day all around!

The Doll Project

I told you I'd knitted recently. Here's more about that.

Dear friends of ours, Mike and Jennifer Greenberg, are living in South Africa for the year as missionaries. As their website states, they are showing hope and freedom to those ravaged by slavery, AIDS, and poverty.

One of the ways they are spreading this message of hope is through the Valuable to Jesus Campaign, commonly known as The Doll Project because of the dolls that are handed out to each child that is taught.

It is explained that "The dolls fit in the palm of your hand, just as we are in the palm of God's hand. This doll was knitted together in love, just as we were knitted together in love by God. And just as no two dolls are alike, we are unique and special, too." While focusing on each child's worth to the Lord, awareness is brought to the issues of sexual abuse, pornography, prostitution and human trafficking. Each child walks away knowing: You are Special and Unique, God Loves you, God has a plan for your life, God can heal you, Call for Help, You can Choose.

From Jen:

"According to an international BBC report, a female born in South Africa has a greater chance of being raped in her lifetime than learning how to read.
Solidarity’s Helping Hand Fund says drug lords have started a recruitment campaign for prostitutes for the 2010 World Cup…girls as young a 12 are being roped in.
But in MANY of these recruitment cases, parents are told by the drug lord or trafficker that he has “work” for them in the city. They have so idea that their child will be sold into sex slavery and never to be seen again.
Prostitution is legal here, no matter how young the prostitute is. And if a parent is tricked into letting that child go with the trafficker, that is considered legal also.

So, we’re on a preventative campaign to warn as many parents, teachers, Sunday school workers, and adults alike the tricks human traffickers use to get a child. We have opportunities in many “Townships”, which are all black communities outside the city limits. We also have opportunities in Zimbabwe among several churches. Since most people attend church, this is one of the best ways to reach adults and children alike. We are also meeting with several ministries on a monthly basis to discuss and collaborate on the prevention and education of Human Trafficking."

So, in addition to the dolls, business card-sized info sheets can be provided with a helpline number and details about unsafe situations. The small format is discreet in case a trafficker is present. Many of the dolls are handed out, though, in a classroom setting.

Both boys and girls are receiving these dolls and are thrilled. They feel the worth and love and concern. In this case, knowledge absolutely is power! Even classes of 12-15 year old boys are loving their dolls and have been seen swapping with each other after the presentation for ones whose features they prefer. :-)

Jen also put together a video here.

The really neat thing is that the success with the program in South Africa has ignited some plans to take The Doll Project to other countries where these social issues are being fought.

Here's how you can help!

Knit dolls. :-)

If you're interested, I am happy to e-mail the pattern (indicate e-mail address and your desire to help in the comments!). It is SUPER EASY. In fact, Dorothy took an excellent nap (2 hours!) one day and I was able to do most of the doll in that amount of time (everything except stuffing and embroidering) If you can knit stockinette stitch, you can do this! I'll be keeping them here until the Greenbergs return from South Africa in the fall. At that point, Jen will have a more firm idea of where The Doll Project will head next and all the dolls will find homes.

Though I haven't pursued anything yet, I would love to have knitting circles spread the word... have knit-a-longs in local yarn shops making dolls... hold Knit Nights where we assemble dolls. (a perfect point for those of you who don't knit to step in- almost anyone can stuff and stitch up a doll, then lovingly embroider a face). You get the picture.

And what a cute picture this is! :-) Dorothy with the doll I knit.

And while we're talking about human trafficking, locals will want to click here. We're attending and would love to see you there! I don't totally know what to expect, but I know that the Lord loves justice and freedom, and that we should be about our Father's business. Jesus was.

"...he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released,
that the blind will see,
that the oppressed will be set free..." (Luke 4:18)

Niagra Falls

in front of America Falls, before it got crazy

So, it's been almost 2 months since the East Coast Insane Driving Tour (of Washington DC, PA, and Niagra), but you'll just have to put up with me. I need the closure. I need to know that I finished a bloggy goal ('cause we all know I still haven't blogged all of our India trip!).

The first day of our trip, we drove to a mid point in Ohio, slept, and then carried on to Niagra Falls. We booked hotel on the Canada side to, you know, say we've been to Canada. I totally forgot to insist that our passports were stamped. :-( Instead, they just waved us through after a quick Q & A and inspection.

It was completely worth crossing the border! As the guide books all said, the Canadian side is nicer. Better view of the falls, and a much nicer tourist district. Sorry, America. The main strip near the falls looked like Gatlinburg, complete with a Ripley's something-or-other and lots of ice cream shops and cheap t-shirts. We were there for the natural attraction and managed to avoid the man-made "attractions" apart from some of the ice cream.

For anyone going, I highly recommend the ice cream stop AFTER seeing the Falls. We were shivering! The wind created by the rushing water, along with the mist, is chilly enough on its own. The Maid of the Mist is the way to go. Really exciting, just- again- really cold. We were not wearing the appropriate clothing and at one point, when the boat sat at the bottom of the Horseshoe Falls (the BIG one!) for what seemed like a zillion years, we just wanted to get off. Grant will always remember that he was rocked by the boat and bit his lip. He mentions it every time. I think Eric and I tried to laugh, and tell the kids how great it was ("Wooooo Hooo, kids!!! Isn't this fun????!!!!"). But, in reality, it was intense and rocky and wet and we were happy to emerge from the bottom of the water avalanche with all four children not crying. At one point, three of them were clinging to me. No pictures. It was too wet. And intense. Did I say "intense"? Ha! Great memories. I wouldn't change a thing!

We rounded out the night with a search for dinner that wasn't going to cost an arm and a leg (touristy places always get you, don't they?) and a swim in the hotel pool.

The next day, we stopped at a NY pizza place in Buffalo. In my limited time there, I formed the opinion that it is one of the dreariest cities ever and must be depressing when they're snowed in. You'd think to combat the harsh winters that they would paint the buildings fun colors like this or something! Oh well.

Niagra was well out of our way, but I'm so glad we went. Completely worth it and a priceless memory to share with our children.

Bits

Way, WAY too busy to catch up fully. A serving of Bits will have to satisfy.

We've been:

-swimming for swim team (Dean, Grant, and Lael is in training and hopes to join soon)

-finishing out the school year (completed June 12th- yeah!)

-hosting my Grandma from England (first time to the States in 15 years!)

-cleaning (see above)

-traveling (me, without kids!)

-doing beautiful yard work (Eric, not me)

-trying out a big girl bed (Dorothy occasionally)

-growing like weeds (Lael is seriously the size of an Amazon tree and just bought a size 8 swimsuit for her 5 year old body last week)

-turning 10 (Grant!)

-knitting (me very briefly yesterday- it felt good and I've missed it)

-reading (oh so many good books as of late!)

-going to speech therapy (Dorothy)

-sweating in the heat

-separating sibling squabbles

-celebrating babies

-cheering on adoptions

-praying

-celebrating TWELVE years of marriage

-eating too much cheese

-laughing

-dreaming

-planning

-watching loads of "football"

Pennsylvania 2010

The main reason for our trip a few weeks ago, was to make our way to Pennsylvania. Though Eric has been a few times in recent years, we hadn't made a trek there as a family since 2000. Way back then, Grant was only a few months old! And, Dean, Lael, and Dorothy... well... they didn't even exist!

A long-overdue trip meant loads of stops to visit and meet great-grandparents, grandparents, along with aunts, cousins, and uncles of all varieties.

Our children made us terribly proud! They had new people to meet every day, and while I might expect them to be shy or reserved or not take an interest in these unfamiliar faces - they were anything but! We'd go to someone's house and say, "This is your Uncle Doug; Grandma's little brother" or "This is your Great Grandpa Llewellyn, and he's the man your daddy gets his middle name from" and they'd give a genuine sunshiny hello, play with ease while there, and leave at the proper time with an "I love you!" and gorgeous full-squeeze hugs!

My girls in their Great Granny's living room. Dorothy is in the chair her Grandma sat in as a little girl.

Grant and Great Grandpa Llewellyn talking about PSPs and video games. Grandpa did a good deal of nodding and smiling.

Eric and Uncle Doug

Here is the first in Dorothy's photo series. Lael and Dean both got theirs in the last post. Now I just need to find one of Grant! She's learned to be silly in front of the camera and only wanted to offer a pose with her tongue sticking out.

This was the result when I coached her by saying "Dorothy!... Smile!".

Ahhhhh.... some distraction and a 30 second break will do wonders. THIS is the natural smile I get to see EVERYDAY. How lucky am I?

One of the highlights on our trip was "going to Market". Eric's mom grew up in Pennsylvania and she always has such fond memories about going to the weekly indoor market. Produce. Baked Goods. People selling their wares. The smile she gets across her face as she describes the best freshly made powdered donut ever, is a giddy one! I love it. So, we took Granny (Eric's mom's mom) with us imagined the delight she would have had were she with us.

We bought Sand Tarts.

Mom, let me just tell you that these were a HUGE disappointment. But, I should have just known that you make the thinest, most perfectly crisp Sand Tarts ever. The ones at Market were tinged with brown, were obviously stale, and made me just want to have a baking party with you and finally learn the family recipe I was lucky enough to marry into!

(what?! The rest of you didn't know you can marry into families AND recipes? Yes, you can! And I married into the best recipes around! Hello Lemon Sponge Pie! And Donna's Apple Pie! And Peanut Butter Fudge! And Baked Macaroni! And.... well... you get the picture.)

Donuts!

Yummy powdery goodness

"Here, let me help you"

You know it's good when you have to take a leaning stance just so you don't get covered. Yum!

definitely in Amish Country

Yep... definitely!

What is with my kids and their silly faces?! Granny, Great Aunt Anna, and our crew. Aunt Anna has one of the most amazing demeanors. A permanent smile- you can't help but want to be Aunt Anna when you grow up!

Eric's Aunt Deb and her fantastically patient pooch. Dorothy seriously LOVES dogs and cats and will not give them a break. If you have a dog, you must be prepared to have a tiny little thing following you around saying, "Goggy! Woof, woof! Goggy! Woof, woof!" and squealing with delight.

On our last day in PA, we drove to nearby Hershey and took the factory tour. Really, its more of a Small World ride that explains the process of making chocolate and has dancing cows that sing, "It's the milk chocolate". :-)

Here was a secondary experience in the World of Chocolate. You could "help make kisses" by donning a paper hat and doing a special dance that would magically transform the pretend chocolate kisses in the box into ones you see in the store. It was poorly done. In fact, even my 9 year old remarked at the end, "why do they make you embarrass yourself like that?". Ha!

Consolation prize was chocolate milk. I love Dean's face in this one!

Later that night, we headed to Eric's father's house for dinner. He stocks a vending machine route and had this delivery truck full of goodies. Each of the kids was invited in to pick a few items. They pretty much loved it! :-)

Four generations: great grandparents, Eric's father Jeff, Eric and our kids!!!

During our say in Pennsylvania, I also had intentions of meeting up, finally, with Judy. After her incredible save during Operation BDHQ, she's been a personal hero of mine (along with her West Coast partner in crime, my brother). But, we just never could cram it in. Some day, Judy! Some day.