I ran seven.
Miles.
Yesterday.
Is the glass half empty...
or half full?
6.1 miles to go after that. Can I actually be doing this? And even better, enjoying this?
Happy to report I am, and yes I do enjoy it. Who knew?
San Diego for me this weekend thanks to free hotels and cheap rental cars. And a nice husband who gives me opportunities to take time for myself. And he never whines or complains about it. And kids who let me go because their Dad takes them to Chucky Cheese when Mommy is gone. Because I lie and tell them Chucky has the swine flu.
Wish me luck, the holidays are upon me and my heart feels happy. But a little sad. I pulled out Christmas stuff and there on top was Baileys pawprint chirstmas stocking. I teared up and my little Nicolas said he would hang it instead of his train one. Eleven years of hanging that pawprint on the mantle, why stop now?
I love my family and for this I am most grateful. :)
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
A little bit of Fall
Fall is my favorite time of year. The leaves, the smell in the air, the pumpkin flavored everything, the candles, the crisp nights and breaking out the sweaters are all reasons to love this season! It was also a time of year that Bailey loved, she had a "spring in her step" we would always say when the weather cooled and we would go for our nightly walks with her. I know most older dogs and people for that matter would say arthritis was worse when it was cold, but for some reason, Bailey was a puppy again in the Fall. So the other day on a wonderfully sunny and 68 degree afternoon, the kids and I headed out to check out some of the colors around us and talk about some memories we had of our sweet girl. This is a good time for me to hear what the kids are thinking and feeling about the loss of their sweet girl. When we are out in the open walking and talking we always end up laughing and enjoying the memories so much more! Here are some cute pictures of my sweet kids enjoying the day with Mommy!
I love these two so much!
They really are pretty dang cute and so incredibly sweet!
And when they show each other love, nothing makes me happier!
I feel so blessed to have these two wonderful kids. They really make me who I am today and show me how fun life can be! Now if only I could get them to get along like this more often!! Pumpkin Patch fun with Nicolas
Once again I had the pleasure of going to the pumpkin patch with Nicolas and his Jr. Kindergaten class this year! We had fun and we didn't get rained on this go around either! Yay!! Nicolas loved the hay ride and the hay pyramid, but most of all loved the rotten pumpkins and rolling other perfectly fine pumpkins down the hill at unsuspecting classmates! Good times are always had with this kid!
Feeding the Donkey who was very sweet and friendly!
After feeding the goat...with the "scratchy tongue!"
In the "Hay Maze" that was "really kind of boring Mom" But still happy!
On the hay ride with Mommy:
The "Hay Pyramid" with the whole class... look at my son, we can't be normal, it would be too boring! Oh and six boys, three girls...lucky teacher!!
He conquered it!
Ready to find his pumpkin! PS..that is Sami in the blue behind him. She is one of Nicolas's favorite people in the world and the whole reason this year was made possible with no tears! We love Sami!!
Looking at the smashed pumpkins instead of the nice ones....***sigh***
All done and ready to head home for some chocolate milk! Oh, I love this little man!
She likes to PARTY all the time,,party all the time...
Drew had a fabulous birthday party at a local joint that caters to fun here in the "Couv" or Vancouver for those of you not in the "know." Big Als has provided my family with hours of entertainment and pretty good food too if you ask me. It is a fancy (and I mean FANCY) Chucky Cheese... bowling, restaurants, super fun arcade, and NO funny looking mouse running around scaring the little ones. AND if that wasn't enough, you usually won't end up sick within three days of being in this establishment, which I can't guarantee with the other place. Anyway, here are a few pictures of the festivities! Enjoy! And once more for good measure...Happy 9th Birthday Drew!!
Two of Drews "besties" from the neighborhood, Ana and Mackenzie
There was more socializing going on at points than actual bowling!
A couple friends from school, Julia and Maiah...who knew plaid would come back!?
Oh, if their parents could see them now! Lauren and Alexus tearing it up on some shooting game.
The whole crew! Look at Nicolas right in on the action!
Enjoying Pizza and girl talk!
The neighborhood crew! Love these girls...Mackenzie, Madison, Lauren, and Ana
Did I mention how much fun Drew had?
Lots of fun and love from friends makes one happy girl!!
Some of the bowling action included the girls helping Nicolas with the "ramp" that provided him with three strikes!!
Two of Drews "besties" from the neighborhood, Ana and Mackenzie
There was more socializing going on at points than actual bowling!
A couple friends from school, Julia and Maiah...who knew plaid would come back!?
Oh, if their parents could see them now! Lauren and Alexus tearing it up on some shooting game.
The whole crew! Look at Nicolas right in on the action!
Enjoying Pizza and girl talk!
The neighborhood crew! Love these girls...Mackenzie, Madison, Lauren, and Ana
Did I mention how much fun Drew had?
Lots of fun and love from friends makes one happy girl!!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Adventures in Running
1: You have the best of intentions. Start running on your neighbors treadmill. Day one: I thought for sure I was going to die after one lap. How can eight laps possibly be only ONE mile???
2: Go about TWO miles in 35 minutes. Wow. What am I thinking?
3: Wake the next day to a renewed sense of capability. RIGHT. About 2 miles in 33 minutes. Plus not feeling too good...what is going on?
4: Take the part in my training book about a "rest day" seriously and take a couple off.
5: Wake up to the idea of running outside today. Go MAYBE a mile when I realize I really do not feel so great. On the way home I see a lady walking her dog that reminds me of Bailey and I proceed to lose it. Crying/sobbing for the rest of the walk home. Not a good day to run.
6: Wake up feeling like a truck hit me. I really do NOT feel well. What follows is a week off of running of any kind. Antibiotics, codeine, nasal sprays, and no sleep. GREAT.
7: Join the gym. My neighbors offer to use their treadmill turned into not the best of situations after feeling uncomfortable waking them up at 8am. Even though they SWORE they were up at 7am every morning.
8: Run at the gym for the first time after being sick.... 3miles in 45 minutes. Not a great time, but hey, at least I am back at it.
9: Next time at the gym...3 miles in 42 minutes. Need to work on my ability to run for more than 3 minutes at a time.
10: Load new songs on ipod in hopes that I get more motivated to run when AC/DC is blasting in my ears. Yeah, not really. But at least I can relate to the "you shook me all night long" when I feel my thighs moving as I run.
11: Run outside. 42 degrees. Ouch. My chest hurts. Not completely recovered from the bronchitis/sinus infection. Cold air is not the best on my lungs.
12: Discouragement sets in. I cry again as I come up the hill and see a dog. Man, am I really crazy? What am I thinking.
13: Look up to the sky and beg for the strength to do the 13.1 miles. 14 weeks to train.
14: Cry some more as I beg for strength and endurance. Wonder if taking that first step is really enough for me.
15: We have our plane tickets and hotel booked. GREAT. Just when I thought I would fake injury to get out of this. I guess I better find the strength somewhere. ****Looking to the sky again****
PS...please, keep your dogs off the street from 8am-9am each morning people. My heart can't take it!!
Chapter two: Wishing for a break so I don't feel guilty about cancelling the plane tickets.
2: Go about TWO miles in 35 minutes. Wow. What am I thinking?
3: Wake the next day to a renewed sense of capability. RIGHT. About 2 miles in 33 minutes. Plus not feeling too good...what is going on?
4: Take the part in my training book about a "rest day" seriously and take a couple off.
5: Wake up to the idea of running outside today. Go MAYBE a mile when I realize I really do not feel so great. On the way home I see a lady walking her dog that reminds me of Bailey and I proceed to lose it. Crying/sobbing for the rest of the walk home. Not a good day to run.
6: Wake up feeling like a truck hit me. I really do NOT feel well. What follows is a week off of running of any kind. Antibiotics, codeine, nasal sprays, and no sleep. GREAT.
7: Join the gym. My neighbors offer to use their treadmill turned into not the best of situations after feeling uncomfortable waking them up at 8am. Even though they SWORE they were up at 7am every morning.
8: Run at the gym for the first time after being sick.... 3miles in 45 minutes. Not a great time, but hey, at least I am back at it.
9: Next time at the gym...3 miles in 42 minutes. Need to work on my ability to run for more than 3 minutes at a time.
10: Load new songs on ipod in hopes that I get more motivated to run when AC/DC is blasting in my ears. Yeah, not really. But at least I can relate to the "you shook me all night long" when I feel my thighs moving as I run.
11: Run outside. 42 degrees. Ouch. My chest hurts. Not completely recovered from the bronchitis/sinus infection. Cold air is not the best on my lungs.
12: Discouragement sets in. I cry again as I come up the hill and see a dog. Man, am I really crazy? What am I thinking.
13: Look up to the sky and beg for the strength to do the 13.1 miles. 14 weeks to train.
14: Cry some more as I beg for strength and endurance. Wonder if taking that first step is really enough for me.
15: We have our plane tickets and hotel booked. GREAT. Just when I thought I would fake injury to get out of this. I guess I better find the strength somewhere. ****Looking to the sky again****
PS...please, keep your dogs off the street from 8am-9am each morning people. My heart can't take it!!
Chapter two: Wishing for a break so I don't feel guilty about cancelling the plane tickets.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Today she turned nine.
And the world smiled. Because when you see Drew and the radiance that surrounds her, everyone can't help but smile.
Beautiful girl from the outside in. Go out and explore this great big world, but don't ever, ever forget your way home. I'll mark it with chocolate for you. That will get her home for sure.
Happy Birthday angel girl.....love you forever.
More pictures of the PAAAARRTTTYYY coming soon!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Never say never.
SO, I am not moving on from most things that concern Bailey, I have to be honest. But I realize that some people may think I am crazy for grieving my dogs death for more than society might deem "normal" amounts of time. I am not going to give myself a time limit, because Bailey was too special to me for time limits. I have taken to writing about all this in a different blog though. It helps me to get the feelings on paper so to speak and this way, not everyone can worry, judge, or start avoiding me at all costs. Sigh.
So, I am doing something in January. I am running/walking/crawling over the finish line of a half marathon. I am not a runner. Not at all. But I am challenging this old out of shape body to do this. And I will not give up until I am finished with 13.1 miles. However I may finish. I know I have four hours to complete the race. Four hours....no problem right? Um, I hope so. I have been training for about two days now. Today I went 2.5 miles in 35 minutes. At this pace four hours is looking pretty close. I am hoping, obviously to increase my pace and finish at closer to two hours maybe three. No pressure. My wonderful friend Kirsten finishes marathons in less time than it takes me to get out of bed in the morning. I love her and the ability she has to conquer the 26.2 miles. She told me the other day that she had a spiritual experience running the Boston Marathon that gave me chills. I will leave that between us, but let me just say, she is an inspiration. She would run this one with me, but she will be about seven months pregnant. She would still beat my time though, pregnant and all, no questions asked. But she will come to Arizona and cheer me on from the sidelines. I am going to be doing this with my wonderful friends, Jackie, Shelley, and Gwen. Each friend will push me to finish this I am sure. In a way that friends push us to conquer things we never thought possible. I am grateful for each of these women, and also grateful for their friendships.
Gwen has a Golden Retriever named Sky. Bailey and Sky were buddies when we lived in Arizona. I would watch Sky for Gwen when she was out of town with her family, and vice versa. I grew to love Sky very much, and Gwen in turn loved Bailey. She has been so incredible to me over these last almost two months (tomorrow) since losing my sweet girl. Her Sky is suffering from Osteosarcoma and is at this moment beating the odds just as Bailey did. I know the worries she has and the heartache that is looming. And I am so incredibly sad that she will have to go through what I am going through. But I know she has the strength to do it, and I know she will love that sweet boy as hard as she can until she has to say goodbye. She and I are running this for them. For our sweet canine companions. Each mile, I will thank Bailey for giving me the motivation and courage to complete that mile. I will feel every ache and I am sure every fiber, every cell inside my body will hurt. But it will not hurt worse than it did on July 25th. So, I know I can conquer this pain, the pain of running a half marathon. I will do it and dedicate each mile to her for loving me so much and giving me so much joy in life.
So there you go. I am moving on with my life in a way I never thought I could. I am conquering doubts and fears (ask me again in December!), and I am doing something that I never thought possible. I am looking inside myself and asking me to do this and do it the best I possibly can. If I have learned anything in my life, it is that all things are possible if you have enough faith, love and support around you. And lucky for me, I do.
So, I am doing something in January. I am running/walking/crawling over the finish line of a half marathon. I am not a runner. Not at all. But I am challenging this old out of shape body to do this. And I will not give up until I am finished with 13.1 miles. However I may finish. I know I have four hours to complete the race. Four hours....no problem right? Um, I hope so. I have been training for about two days now. Today I went 2.5 miles in 35 minutes. At this pace four hours is looking pretty close. I am hoping, obviously to increase my pace and finish at closer to two hours maybe three. No pressure. My wonderful friend Kirsten finishes marathons in less time than it takes me to get out of bed in the morning. I love her and the ability she has to conquer the 26.2 miles. She told me the other day that she had a spiritual experience running the Boston Marathon that gave me chills. I will leave that between us, but let me just say, she is an inspiration. She would run this one with me, but she will be about seven months pregnant. She would still beat my time though, pregnant and all, no questions asked. But she will come to Arizona and cheer me on from the sidelines. I am going to be doing this with my wonderful friends, Jackie, Shelley, and Gwen. Each friend will push me to finish this I am sure. In a way that friends push us to conquer things we never thought possible. I am grateful for each of these women, and also grateful for their friendships.
Gwen has a Golden Retriever named Sky. Bailey and Sky were buddies when we lived in Arizona. I would watch Sky for Gwen when she was out of town with her family, and vice versa. I grew to love Sky very much, and Gwen in turn loved Bailey. She has been so incredible to me over these last almost two months (tomorrow) since losing my sweet girl. Her Sky is suffering from Osteosarcoma and is at this moment beating the odds just as Bailey did. I know the worries she has and the heartache that is looming. And I am so incredibly sad that she will have to go through what I am going through. But I know she has the strength to do it, and I know she will love that sweet boy as hard as she can until she has to say goodbye. She and I are running this for them. For our sweet canine companions. Each mile, I will thank Bailey for giving me the motivation and courage to complete that mile. I will feel every ache and I am sure every fiber, every cell inside my body will hurt. But it will not hurt worse than it did on July 25th. So, I know I can conquer this pain, the pain of running a half marathon. I will do it and dedicate each mile to her for loving me so much and giving me so much joy in life.
So there you go. I am moving on with my life in a way I never thought I could. I am conquering doubts and fears (ask me again in December!), and I am doing something that I never thought possible. I am looking inside myself and asking me to do this and do it the best I possibly can. If I have learned anything in my life, it is that all things are possible if you have enough faith, love and support around you. And lucky for me, I do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
