Santa Time

'tis the season to be jolly! Santa's coming to town in only a few more days!

Everyone's expecting it. Brightly decorated trees. Christmas dinners. Carols to sing. Laughter and joy among family and friends. Santa going round town and spreading more cheer. Praise to the Lord. Mistletoe. (LOL) It's the best day anyone can have. Here in Malaysia, the season is celebrated with every one despite the differences we have. Isn't it beautiful to share in the happiness that Xmas brings?

Me, I'm pretty sure me and my family - despite the fact we're not Christians - are going to have a nice, peaceful Xmas celebration of our own. That would be very nice.

Maybe you guys should share your Christmas cheer too! Post them here on this note or share them with your friends on your profile. Spread the joy of the season to everyone! Give your thanks to the Lord above - 'cos Santa Claus is coming soon!

Cheers, and Merry Xmas in advance! (Hopefully I can put up a nice post for the day itself!)

Mere Words?

Another incident to share, I have.

The LaSallian Friends in Touch were emphasizing on a youth project that aims to have a memorandum signed by several thousand youth (online) sent to the Ministry of Education in order to make certain important changes in the current education system as well as other matters pertaining to the youth. (Check it out here) Knowing the significance of this action, I decided to sign it as well and play my part for the greater good of the younger generation.

So after I did so, I decided to flip through the list of those who already signed their names. When I checked it there were about 200 plus names including mine, and some names reminded me of some of you readers. I wonder if those really are your names. I'm guessing it's a yes from all of you. So anyway, as I was flipping through the list I couldn't help but notice one person - who I shall name A - had attached a comment along these lines: "B, please see me in my office."

I was surprised. What could possibly lead to that being posted on the memorandum? I could only tell that A must be some person of authority and had noticed some comment that seemed to offend A. So I scrolled through the list till finally I found the cause: seems that B was criticizing A for putting a lot of strain onto B's class with loads and loads of assignments to do. There I found out A is a lecturer. And I almost laughed at the whole situation.

Moral of the story? Watch your words on the Net, because you'll never know when you'd have to eat them. After all, we live in a borderless world - and sooner or later someone is going to find out about what you say or do in the World Wide Web. For Heaven's sake, can't you just keep it to yourself or open some private log or something so you can rant all you want? Why go public?

Sigh. People are really an amusing bunch.

Cheers!

A Retrospective

Life is but too short for us to enjoy, for who knows of when our end may come? We must always do what we can to make every day a memorable one, full of joy and laughter and fond memories that never shall be erased from our minds, even in death.
~ Dr. Lionel R. Phantis, historian

Indeed, his words are true.

2010 has been somewhat of a different year. I've seen how every day had something to offer - be it a fleeting moment of joy or a long period of sorrow. I've seen friends and family bend and break, hold on and pull through. I've faced many events - some undoubtedly memorable, others full of misery and despair. I can say 2010 is a prelude of sorts to newer things. Things that may just alter our lives. And what we faced throughout this year is to help us prepare.

Or so I say. Perhaps all of it is true. Hopefully, it isn't. Anyway, let's not digress. This is, after all, a retrospective of the year that is about to end.

The year started off simply enough. Post-SPM I took a quick vacation and had a great outing with some friends before departing for the INTI Youth Empowerment held in their Nilai campus. Pretty much a shorter version of the Prefectorial LTC, but still it was a great event. Had loads of fun, met new friends and such. The empowerment came and went, unfortunately, but soon enough I'll recover it as it was when I was there. I still miss those times.

Then it was off to work. Had a quick tenure at Parkson (if a month is considered quick) at its DIY department, and made more friends. I have to say working there was fun, since I met a lot of good people there who had wit and character. I do miss my time there. Hopefully circumstances would allow me to go back and help.

Soon after I came over to Jusco and worked for two months for Hush Puppies Shoes, though I'd say working there can't compare to Parkson. Sure, I made more friends (jokingly said I'd be famous among them one day XD) and had loads of fun chatting with them, for some reason part of me still lingers in memories of Parkson. Still, Life goes on, and I can't complain about my time here in JJ.

While I worked I also managed to attend two interviews for the Star's EduFund - one at SEGi, the other at KTAR. I had high hopes I'd get to one of these places but unfortunately, both didn't offer a full scholarship. Heart-wrenching at first, but I guess we move on. If ever I did get a scholarship, I wonder how I might be like now. And truthfully, the thought of going to Form Six was... disheartening. But I got used to that fact. Saves a whole lot of money, after all. And money is a luxury I don't have at the moment.

Before long, Form Six Orientation came. By then, I'd had some good money in my pocket, some pretty good results for the SPM and a longing to see old friends again. The Orientation kicked off and I got to know some nice people in the early stages, as well as meet old friends and acquaintances. People like Eva, Jean, Melwin and Wai Keong come to mind. And all those funny games we played, in spite of the fact they were... umm, rather lame?

It was hard to choose between Biology and Computing. But I guess Puan Leela's threats did get me to deciding! XD Jokes aside, I followed my heart to go into Computing, as it's quite an interest of mine, and the next thing I knew they whisked me away to LSS3. Bam, just like that. I didn't think much about my stay there, but as far as things go, anything goes.

From strangers, the lot of us in LSS3 soon got to know one another better. Time has its ways, after all. Especially if you mix a bunch of young guys and girls, fresh from the (so-called) horrors of the SPM and the long honeymoon period that followed it. Everyone connects. Everyone has something to say. And to laugh about. Talk of dinosaurs and cats, teachers and lessons and the like. Girl talk, guy jokes and more.

The Heritage Walk too opened up new bridges. And so did many other things, as well as through other friends you meet or already know. Pretty soon, everyone was getting comfortable with the new environment and warming up to each other. Classes began; the learning process soon followed. Enthusiasm starts high, but pretty soon diminishes once it becomes a daily routine. But still, new friends keep coming in. And it's great to have so many awesome pals around.

But alas, friends came and went. People like Wai Keong got an early chance to leave Form Six and head off to pursue their dreams. Others went through most of it, but ultimately end up leaving because they couldn't take it. Or others migrated to other classes to do something they want to do. LSS3's community soon dropped (and briefly rose) till it now stands at 24. Oh wait, make that 23. Life went on soon after, and classes got on track.

The decision to return to my old coat-of-arms - the Prefects - was probably the best decision I'd made. Sure, it's fun to be a Prefect, but it's way more awesome when you have the right people in it. The same goes for the cocuricullar activities - Wushu felt real fun (it's been too long since I last practised it!) to re-do; Chess, despite the strain of me being Secretary, was still loads of fun nevertheless; Computer Club... well, that's much to be desired. XD

Oh, and let's not forget the Sixth Form Council. Hell, I never did think I'd be part of it, let alone be its Vice President! (I still do wish I'd did more to help out XP) With RJ, Tihn Chern, Ashiran, Mabel, Eva, Cindy, Heng Jian, and Habibi along for the ride, we probably can go the distance - where even our predecessors never did think of going!

And let's not forget after-school fun: whether it's simply hanging out inside or outside school. It all depends on where you go, what you do, and who you're with. From birthday bashes to official meetings, to simple outings and sharing sessions - yeah, lots of things to do after school. Apart from homework. I mean, we're still youngsters trying to have fun in an otherwise boring life. We can't just simply stagnate in silence and solitude.

Sixth Form Night came and went like a fable of sorts. Lots of things to see and gawp about, like during the catwalk. The performances helped rock the night, and soon enough everyone had much of it burned into their memories. Nothing much new, but I believed we had ourselves an exceptional time - after all the hard work and the planning! Even when shit hit the fan a couple of times, we held on and we gave our all. And everything went accordingly, as we hoped. I'm glad of that.

As the first half of the year went by, everything changed. School became a norm, and despite the fact after-school outings were still common place, it became part and parcel of school life. As did studies. Obviously. And classrooms became littered with students following the lessons being conducted, or in other cases lessons being diverted away from its original purpose. It all depends on the teachers. Some we hate, others we love, others we love to hate or vice versa. And it started to become somewhat like Form 5 again. The stress began to push us downwards. But I guess that didn't deter us.

Even in all the fun that's to be had, there's always a fair share of regrets. Hurting friends; hurting loved ones; doing the wrong thing(s); getting screwed up by the Big Kahuna (need I say more?)... one can never have the patience to last. Soon enough, everything starts falling apart. Discontentment, hate, obsession, pride, self-destruction - all this has happened. It's sad to see how we can easily fall apart with only one wrong word. But we can't linger in our regrets. Life must go on. Remember them and speak no more of it. Let bygones be bygones.

I see lots with my eyes, and hear lots with my ears. There are always those that are thoughtful or meaningful in some way. Of two people falling in love. Of great friendships forged through circumstance. Of great times filled with nothing but happiness and contentment. Yes, every young man and woman would go through these.

But for every action there is always a reaction. Of friends secretly wanting to be with someone. Of unsaid emotions. Of pain and sorrow within, unseen without. Of gossip that can threaten one's place in the community. Of resentment and detestment. Of shattered friendships that could have been salvaged. Disheartening indeed. I had my fair share of problems, I can tell you that. Sometimes I do wish I could right those wrongs, but I guess that's how Life goes.

It's just sad to see how people change because of these events. Friends become enemies, lovers become estranged, teachers look down on us students, etcetera. So little is needed to alter the human mind, when so much is needed to build it up to the right level. Such is our weakness that we forego the good in favor of the bad. But that is not mine to reason why.

In the end, Life throws at us some pretty tough obstacles. Sometimes, even those that can very well change our lives entirely. But we need to face them with guts. You can't hide from your problems forever. Just accept them, face them, and get them over with whatever way you can.

As the year came to its close, I began to see things differently and I wished I could have seen it that way long before. Still it takes time before a man can get to a certain level, and I'm still working on it. It all begins with faith in yourself and in God. And then you need to be more positive even against all odds. Life is but a test. An obstacle course. A puzzle. I intend to make the most out of whatever time I have left. Do things I've not done. And hopefully do things not just for the benefit of myself, but more for the people around me.

It surely took quite a while to adjust to this New Life I found. Old habits die hard, after all. But having met so many friends who would ultimately become like siblings of mine, it's not hard to do so. There's always someone I can turn to for advice, no matter how simple it may be. And I'm glad I have so many to call friends.

Soon enough, work piled on us and put us off from having a nice holiday season. We part ways till January next month and everything will return to the routine we know of. For now, we work and we play and anticipate the harsh season that awaits us next year. Me, I'm doing all I can while working in Jusco again to earn some cash for the family's sake. But December is ending soon, and I fear what awaits us in Upper Six. Apart from more shelling from Mr K himself. Sigh.

It's hard to believe Orientation is so far behind us now. We've all gone through thick and thin. We've had fun. We've had bad times. The same goes for me. And now we're on the verge of completing our studies in SMI and leave the comforts of home to head to the University of our choice. And it's hard to believe we'll be parting ways again very soon. But let's not consider that thought for now.

Well, that's quite a retrospective. Hopefully, you guys didn't get lost or whatever in between paragraphs. I don't really write these kinda things as nice as how Nick did his. XD Still, if you managed to read through that's just how the year seemed to be in my opinion. For now, I'll leave you to contemplate on how your year went.

Until next time, adieu and good night.

Perchance Some Randomness

Before I go on, here's something worth checking out:

http://voicesofstudents.wordpress.com/

Maybe it's just life,
& we can never figure out how things are.
Maybe we're all just pawns in a game?

Yes, Life is so strange,
Or is it?
Unless there's some better explanation
Why Life seems so... random?
Indeed, 'tis something to ponder about.
Nobody can tell till someone considers the possibilities.

How peculiar Fate can be unto us!
Oh, we mortals can ne'er comprehend!
What true purpose we have here on Earth,
Despite the fact we have our religions to guide us
You can never tell what God has in mind.

Only in Death can we finally know,
Until then we can only wonder in puzzlement.

Gee, that was quite a random modern poem.
Uh... yeah. Randomness indeed.
Especially in Life, where anything is just possible.
Sigh.
So much for that.
?

Reminiscence

Everyone seems to be doing something that relates how their year went by. Why all the long talk? Rick's one was... exceptionally long. Nick already has Part II out. M&M did a very brief but meaningful one. Who's next?

Hmmm, maybe I will. But I doubt it'll be out really soon. I may not write it extremely long like Rick. I may not divide it into separate chapters like Nick. Nor will I simply write it quick and clean like M&M. I might just do it... some other way. Or a combo. Hmmm.

Perhaps.

For now, I'll be busy with other things. When I do have the time, then perhaps I will.

Cheers!

Random Thoughts

We people are so hard to fathom.

JCard Day just passed recently, and the crowd was HUGE, as if the entire city of Ipoh came and went on that one day. Cashiers worked non-stop to handle customers that wanted to pay for their goods. Promoters skedaddled here and there to serve the masses. At each department, wares were scattered all over the place. Everyone was edging here and there to squeeze in and look around. And walk. Walk. Walk. And buy.

Sigh.

I guess it goes to show how much people love to shop.

But doesn't this show how much we waste our money? Well, maybe not in some cases. Everyone is buying something at a reasonable price. With discounts up to 70 percent, who can resist? Especially clothing. Oh my, the throngs of people was quite a sight.

Yeah. Shopping. And JCard Day. Plus, it's the holiday season. And what a marvelous mess.

Cheers for now.

Quick Updates

Christmas!

Though I may not celebrate it, it's still great to share the fun an the holiday mood with the rest. And then some. Now I don't want any presents from Santa! I just want to have a blast and relish the Xmas moods Malaysia is gonna put on.

Apart from that, I'm also expecting a brand new year - full of life and opportunities! Can't wait.

Cheers for now. =)

Waste Not, Want Not

A recent Oprah episode on reducing waste I glimpsed recently had her challenge two families to stay off computers, video games and food outside for 1 week. Believe me, both families were pretty stuck in a rut. Sneakily using the computer when no one's watching and a whole bunch of problems in the first few days! But soon enough they were getting pretty used to the whole idea. The dad said a friend of his asked whether he caught the game (possibly rugby) recently, but he didn't have the nerve to tell him he didn't. Instead he was spending time reading to his children before bedtime. At least he did something.

And yes, no surprise, both families succeeded in completing the challenge.

Now before I go on, don't say that I'm onto her like the millions of people that catch her show almost everyday without fail! It's just pure coincidence that this episode was on while my mum and grandma were watching the telly.

According to Oprah, the whole point of the episode was to raise awareness on how much people waste on things they think they need but ultimately prove pointless. Hey, she didn't say computers are pointless as I do believe she uses one too. But it does highlight how much waste we end up disposing of at the end of the day. To prove her point she had a short clip showing a group of people who spent their time LOOKING for fresh food in a local neighborhood's dumpsters. Can you imagine that? And they found some! Not one, but SOME! Good grief, that's proof enough!

Now let's just look at ourselves: do we waste more than we realize? Sometimes, we buy loads of stuff that we think is important - but in the end, we throw most of it or give them away. Food especially, like when you cook up a storm and much of the food isn't finished, what'd you do? You take them all up, put it in a bag and dump it in the bin! That's it! Problem solved. In a sense. But we're really doing the wrong thing. Heck, come to think of it, feeding stray animals and the birds can be even considered wasting food! (Does it? This is kinda debatable, since we're feeding nature in a sense. Any remarks?)

Then Oprah showed another clip about a woman (forgot her name, sorry XD) who, after watching another of Oprah's shows (does she do several?) was inspired to cut down on her consumption of stuff. She lives a rather fabulous life: making a six-figure pay, going out every day to shop and spending her money on anything her money can buy. But then after watching that particular show, she was inspired to make a change to her lifestyle and be more careful on what she spends. By planning ahead, checking prices and stuff, she now saves so much more than she used to. And by the looks of it she's enjoying her new lifestyle. Less time shopping, less time on TV, less spent on too much food, etcetera.

I could hardly believe my ears. And eyes too. But there it all was.

You don't need to go such great lengths! It all starts with simple actions, like closing the tap when it's not in use, turning off the lights when no one's around - pretty much what we normally do to conserve. It's easy. If you want to go ahead and start cutting down on a large-scale, then by all means do it. That's your choice. It's up to us on how we wanna cut down on waste.

Cheers!

Another Little Reminder

When I had breakfast with my mom and grandma at the hawker centre behind the Town Hall, one of the many drinks waiters from one particular stall came to our table to clean up. Mind you, we'd already ordered our drinks from another stall - so when the waiter asked if we wanted anything, our answer would definitely be 'No'.

As I expected, her trip to clean our table and remove the empty glasses on it were immediately abandoned. The glasses remained, and the table was still (a little) dirty. "Sour grapes," as my mom put it. I almost laughed at the thought of it.

C'mon, can't you just do a little clean-up? Just because we're not ordering from you doesn't mean we don't like your food or anything. I swear, you can never ever find customer service in any hawker centre. The phrase is totally non-existent, really. Well, unless you're a foreign traveller, because the thing about us Malaysians is that we do things better to international guests than to their own people. So much for unity and harmony as one.

Moral of the story? Don't be bitter over even the triflest of matters. It's not going to help you at all. As with the case above, we're definitely going to remember that stall for the rest of our lives!

Cheers!

The Oprah Factor

Oprah Winfrey is a good example of charisma. She's the talk of practically the entire world, and her show is seen by millions of viewers worldwide. Her following is indeed phenomenal and probably larger than the community of Michael Jackson fans that span the globe. Her show covers all kinds of topics: family, friendship, nature, beauty, celebrities - the like. Many viewers were inspired to do things they never thought of doing, just because they saw it on her show. Not only that, her generosity knows no bounds as she presents fantastic gifts to her live audience: cars, vacations and so much more. And now that she's heading to the Land Down Under, the locals are hit by 'Oprah fever'!

It's no surprise Time magazine listed her as one of the most influential people in the world. Being a TV talk show host AND a philantropist at the same time isn't easy, as far as I can tell. Indeed, she's doing things people wouldn't dream of doing, especially in this selfish world we live in. Sure, the issues she touches upon are relevant like what most talk shows would mention, but she goes the distance. And people who see her show are always inspired by her findings, highlights and stuff. Not even the President could do that kind of thing!

And when it comes to giving... boy does she give! Initiatives like rewarding her audience and the magnificent Big Give specials are truly inspirational as they touch the lives of those who need help. I don't know if it's really her idea or the producer's, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. (After all, prejudice is a bad thing!) We need to have more people like her. When the rich get richer and the poor continue to suffer, someone (or some people) need to make a stand for them.

I don't idolize Oprah, but merely state that her kind of character is what we need. You don't exactly have to give cars away to the needy, but if you can just make an effort to do more than just donate for a cause, you're already on the right track.

Cheers!

Christmas Cheer!

Christmas time is coming soon. In about, what, 3 weeks? Man, time flies so fast. Already places are decorating their interiors with Christmas decor and Christmas songs are chiming all day long in places like Jusco. Yes, everyone's expecting that wonderful day.

Well, there's not much that needs to be said about Christmas. It's when Christians worldwide celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and have fun giving lovely presents to family, friends and loved ones. Even in spite of the economic downturn, people are coming up with novel ways of giving gifts that are both meaningful and easy on the wallet. Even Santa would approve of such presents!

Speaking of giving gifts, how else do you celebrate Christmas? To me, even though I'm not a Christian, Christmas isn't just about presents and all, but it mostly focuses on having a great time with the people closest to you - whether it's at the dinner table or around the fireplace. (Well, if your house has a fireplace) After all, the spirit of Christmas lies in bonding with those people and sharing laughs all day long. Sure, it's always a kick to get some neat presents but do remember that giving is better than receiving.

Maybe do a little something to spread some Christmas cheer somewhere else in the world, perhaps? Contribute a donation to a charity fund and change someone's life. Or adopt a child and make his or her life a better one. Or even give away your old clothes to a nearby orphanage or shelter. The little things count. In fact, I'm confident even Christ Himself would approve of your act of kindness. Asides, we're all human, and that means we need to play our part. Love and harmony is what the world needs the most.

Give a little more than you used to, and you'd be surprised at how fulfilling it can be. Maybe your Christmas might just be a little brighter than the usual.

Cheers!

Waiting For The End?

My grandmother suddenly fell very ill recently, and the incident left me... feeling afraid. Too afraid.

She's close to her eighties now, and even though she isn't the same after the stroke that nearly cost her life about two years ago, I'm glad we still have her around. Despite the difficulty in communicating with her she's still part of my family, and I still love her to the core. Sure, I make mistakes with her too, but nevertheless I keep telling myself to do better next time around. And I make sure she's alright all the time.

But after this, I don't know what to expect next. She's old. Her time is almost up. But it's hard to accept that fact. It's as if I want her to remain for a longer time, even though it's not possible. When God has set your date of passing, then it's already been set. Nothing else can change it.

But if she does leave this mortal plane... damn it, I don't know how I'll react. It may just rend my soul in half for some time. The scars are definitely gonna linger. I really don't know. All I know I need to be prepared, and watch over her more closely.

God help me.

Family Comes First

When I typed this post I had just come back from helping my mum out with some work. Mind you, the notes I publish are all scheduled posts. So the original post which I typed was done at about 11.43 pm on Friday, the 26th of November 2010 AD. Yes, you read right. And believe me, as tired as I may be now, I can't say that I'm glad I helped her out.

Most times, kids would usually gripe when their parents ask them for their help with something, be it a chore or something involving their work. I admit I did complain before, but now I see the big picture: when we help our parents we shouldn't see it as something that hinders us or is an annoyance. Instead we should be happy to help them, because we're technically repaying a bit of the deeds they've done for us as a child growing up. We always end up taking our parents for granted, and we never really show them gratitude for taking care of us since our birth. It's high time we changed that.

Why should we be complaining anyway? When we're young, it's normal to do it because we don't know about the burdens we carry. But as we age and we learn and mature, we should recognize that our parents did all their best to give us what we have today. Let's not take into account those who were abused by their parents. I will address that in a later post. The fact is, our parents worked so hard to do all they can to give us a good life, good education, and loads more. Now that we're older, we should do all we can to repay their kindness and their care for us. Be it treating them more nicely, buying lunch and dinner everyday, or maybe taking them somewhere for some quality family time, we need to show them our thanks for their love and affection, and all the sacrifices they've made for us.

Family comes first. It's good that we have Father's and Mother's Day celebrations. But we need to make every day Family Day. Think about it.

Cheers!

A Little Reminder

A recent event that happened to me showed how important it is to LISTEN and not to HEAR.

Me and my family were having breakfast at a nearby restaurant. As my mum went to order our food, I ordered two cups of hot Milo for our drinks. The funny thing is, when we were finished with our food, our drinks still hadn't arrived. So my mum called a waiter and asked about the matter, and the waiter asked another waiter to take our order. We gave the same order, and asked them why hadn't our drinks arrived yet. The waiter didn't give an answer as she walked off to take it to the counter.

Shortly after, our drinks came. But that wasn't the end of it. As we got up to leave, the waiter who took our second order came up to us and unapologetically told us we had made two separate orders - the first that didn't come through, and the second that finally did. And we already asked why it took so long to prepare two cups of Milo. So we walked out, feeling disgusted. As I took my grandma along the second waiter was busy telling the man sitting behind us about the fiasco and how it was our fault. Hell, we were pissed. But we didn't show it.

Moral of the story? LISTEN carefully, and then do what you have to do. They took our order, sure, but they didn't follow through when they were supposed to. And when they made the mistake, they pinned the blame on us.

People sure are funny in a stupid way sometimes.

Cheers.

You Are Awesome

I'm sure all of you remember the fictional character Hugh Newman. To him, every one is special. He does what he does just to see them smile. It's good to make others smile, because as we all know smiling helps alleviate our moods and make us feel bright, special and joyful. And remember he does this without any prejudice. He doesn't care what people think of them. He doesn't care if the world trods on their heads. He doesn't care if they don't like how the world behaves now. He just wants them to smile. And all that takes is a kind word and a smile from yourself. =)

It's always difficult to change our ways, especially when it comes to prejudice. We judge someone from what we've seen and heard from others, not what we've seen and heard from ourselves and the subject of prejudice. It's a bad habit that affects every one, and we need to put an end to it once and for all. Not only will it do them some justice, but in fact it helps you too! When you stop judging others, everyone you meet is awesome. Every single person, no matter their race, skin color, religion or principles, will be just like you. And as an added bonus, you'll have more friends too!

Now I have a little challenge for you. Remember when I told you about Dr. George Crane's Compliment Club? Just do it the same way they do it. Set all prejudices aside. Smile. Be genuinely friendly, polite and concerned for them. Ask them things like, "How was your day?" or "Are you OK?" At the end of the day, write down your feelings when you did so and how, as time goes by, your interactions with them changes too. Do this for at least 3 months and write your observations. Sure, it will be hard the first time around, but it becomes second nature as you keep it up.

If you think you've reached that point when everything has come round for the better, share it with your pals. Tell them it works. In fact, if it makes you happy, tell me about your progress. I will definitely share your happiness. But don't stop there! Even when you've fulfilled the criteria, why not make it a daily routine? You'll be brightening up the lives of the people around you, and you may just brighten up the lives of those who are in the category of "the Lost, the Least and the Lonely." You may just lift them out of their misery!

If you need a little bit of help, you can always ask your friends for some help. But don't ask them questions like, "Do I sound like a hypocrite?" or "Does he/she really deserve that kind of attention?" You're not making things any better for yourself. Yes, you read right: YOURSELF! If you let prejudice cloud your actions, you're not going anywhere. You'll be in the exact same spot you stood in many years ago. So shove them aside. As you continue giving genuine, unconditional compliments, all prejudice you had for them will be replaced by mutual understanding and respect. It's because you now know them personally.

In this modern world, much of our feelings for one another is left to rot in the sidelines. We can't let that continue to plague our minds. We need to be genuinely concerned for each other. We need to be there for one another. The old quote "Laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone" cannot apply anymore. So let's all take a cue from Hugh Newman and Dr. Crane - tell people how awesome they really are. Make them feel awesome. You have that power - use it!

Cheers!

Oops

I have to confess I've been procrastinating a lot these holidays. And also made some bad mistakes earlier on that have ambushed me when I least expected it. Well, my bad. ><

I don't know why I did all this, and I wish I could undo them. But alas, once you've done it then "que sera, sera." It's either a good thing or otherwise. And in this case, it turned out the wrong way. Learning it the hard way always hurts.

Maybe I haven't been motivating myself enough? For some reason I can't get to pushing myself to start on my school work - and I feel like I have tonnes of it. Whether it might be because of my current situation (believe me I do have problems) or some other factor, I just feel drained whenever I think about my homework. And instead of doing them I'm avoiding them.

Some circumstances are hard to avoid. Others... not so. Even though there are assignments I'll have difficulty with, (PA comes to mind) those I can accomplish have to be done as soon as possible - or else!

Also, I do admit too that I need help for my Maths and Chemistry. Anyone willing to volunteer? I'd appreciate it deeply.

That's all for now, folks. Will be back soon, hopefully.

Cheers.

Need A Hug?

I remember the Buttercup family back in the LTC suggested to give free hugs once every two weeks. Personally I think it's a cute idea to life someone up and make them feel better again. But when I started reading Zig Ziglar's book, I found something very insightful.

It seems that research has shown the benefits of hugging are truly amazing! Hugging actually helps reduce blood pressure, increases oxygen in the blood, and do many other wonders to the body. It is also stated that our skin - the largest sensory receptor in the body - actually has a "skin hunger" that causes our skin to feel aching and uncomfortable. Why? It's because our skin is understimulated, meaning that it has a deficiency in terms of contact. People who face this are more likely to face difficulty in staying healthy. Therefore, to meet the demands of this "skin hunger" a minimum of four hugs a day are required! Talk about actions speaking louder than words!

We always know of the benefits of hugging to our mental and spiritual state. But now with these findings, hugging is actually a holistic approach to good health! So if you really need a hug, just ask for one! (But make sure you don't ask a complete stranger! XD)

Cheers!

Kris Allen's The Truth

Lyin' next to you
Wishing I could disappear...aay
Let you fall asleep
And vanish out into thin air..aay

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads.
And we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect
Tryin' not to let you down...ooww
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
while the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

I still keep your photographs
I remember how we used to laugh
I can keep on losin' sleep
If you're okay with being torn in half.

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's an avalanche that looms above our heads
But we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...oww
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning
http://www.elyricsworld.com/the_truth_lyrics_kris_allen.html
And let the rain come in.
Stop pretending that it's not ending
And let the end begin.

Oh yeah...

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...yeah
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

It's easier than telling the truth...

Caring For You

With all the notes I've put up, it's my hope that you will do the things I've highlighted in them. Are you? I sure hope so. The reason I share these notes with you people is because I CARE for you people. The knowledge I've gained from the books I read can't just be kept to myself. Knowledge needs to be distributed - to be shared. If I leave it to stagnate in my head, what good is it but for me?

I dislike selfish people, I tell you that. (Well, if you're selfish by nature please do change yourself!) You may have the brains to solve complex problems, or the strength to do things others can't, but if you don't use it for the benefit of others what is it all worth but to yourself? In this world, selfish people are actually the ones who are getting left behind. They think it's all about them, that the Universe revolves around them. They even think they have the answers to everything. Poppycock, I say. You may have the answers, but not ALL of them! Beat that! XD

I admit I know quite a bit on motivation - mostly from what I read and what I face in Life. But when it comes to motivation, you're not just going to motivate yourself. To me, motivating yourself means motivating the people around you in the process. When you are doing something good for someone, many would make the choice to imprint it into their lives. And when they do it to others, the process repeats itself. Like I said before, we absorb both the good and the bad - but it's imperative that you absorb all the good stuff only.

Genuine care for each other is rare nowadays. Finding Good Samaritans who practise this is truly a rare chance, because the Good Samaritan principle is being exploited for all the wrong reasons. When you help someone, do you expect anything in return? The sad fact is, most of us do. The one thing about giving is that we give without wanting anything in return. Eventually, your good deeds will be rewarded - and the rewards are always worth more than gold! (They may even be worth their weight in gold!) You don't have to ask for anything. It will come to you, depending on the weight of your actions. Karma, I'd say.

Yes, I care for every one of you. I show that I care. I tell everybody I know I care - like what I'm doing now. I do admit I seek attention sometimes, but regardless of that what I feel for you people is sincere concern for your wellbeing - be it from the aspect of health, education, emotions, religion, etcetera. Me, I'd categorize myself as a "public lifter" because I lift people up with their knowledge. RJ is likened to be like this, too. But do note that there are also those who work "behind the scenes" - they care for you, but you don't know that they do. Mostly these kind of people are introverts; they lend a shoulder when you need it, they listen and don't say a lot, and they are always there for you in any kind of situation. For us public lifters, when we're there it means we will be showing our concern for you. For these people behind the scenes, just by being there they care for you. And I'm trying to be just like that.

It doesn't really matter if I tell you I care, really. Even when you're not aware of it, at least I care for you. And that will suffice. I make it a point to be concerned for every one I know. Of course there are times when I can't let myself be a 'kaypo' for certain reasons, but when you need a shoulder all you have to do is ask. And you'll definitely get it. =)

Cheers!

Got Problems? Face Them!

Now there never is a day when you don't face any kind of problem(s) at all. be it a small one or a critical situation, there's at least one problem to be faced every day, every night. The point is not about the problem(s) itself but about how you handle them. Now ask yourself: "What real difference does this make in my life tonight, or even in the morning?" Often times, we find that the problem at hand isn't much to be worried about.

The fact is, we can control our thoughts, actions and emotions - and also our own lives. Everything is in our grasp. But it's a matter of how you tackle the problems you have in order to steer yourself in the right direction. So stop griping about the problem(s) you have - instead, look at them as opportunities to grow or mature. The greater the challenge, the greater the need for you to solve it.

One example is the man who invented "Famous Amos" - Mr. Wally Amos. He didn't exactly have a good life - he lost his company, went bankrupt and was practically in debt. But he didn't give in. He started a new cookie company and made it big again. But his enemies weren't happy about it, and they filed a lawsuit against him. Once more he lost everything. But he didn't give up. He rose up again, and is still fighting the good fight with the same zest and zeal he always carried from the start. In fact, he's back in the cookie business again under the name "Uncle No-Name", and even wrote a book about his life entitled "The Man With No-Name". Not only does it show that problems can be handled the right way, but it also shows that even when we're down, we should always pick ourselves up again and again, never to back down in the face of adversity.

It all starts in you. As Orrison Swett Marden says, "Success is not measure by what a man accomplishes, but by the opposition he has encountered and the courage with which he has maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds." Even when the odds are stacked against you and when people jeer at you, calling you to call it quits, don't ever give up! Don't ever lose faith! Listen to the voice in your heart cheering you on. Don't limit yourself and live in a 'box'. You need to get out there and face the challenges ahead like a man! (Figuratively speaking) When there's a will there's always a way.

"Mountaintops inspire leaders, but valleys mature them," as J. Philip Everson states. The valleys are likened to be challenges or obstacles we face in Life. If we want to develop our full potential, we require these obstacles to run through. Failure and losses are an acceptable learning experiences to help improve our performance. Take Roger Bannister, who ran the 4-minute mile in 1954. He didn't listen to them. He just told himself "I can do this!" and he ran and conquered the unconquerable. Now many doctors would tell athletes NOT to do what Roger did. They say it's physically impossible. But if he could do it, why not them? In fact, even a fifty-year old man could do it!

It's been proven that individuals grow stronger physically, mentally and spiritually when they are 'tested' with resistance or opposition. It doesn't matter if you don't succeed on the first try - the first try is just like a starting point, a means to test yourself first before starting it. Failue is critical to success, just like when Thomas Alva Edison created the lightbulb. He proudly says, "I have not failed; I have only found a thousand ways that did not work." Always step back up to the plate even after you strike out. Learn from your mistakes. Ask yourself: "Will you let your failures work for you or against you?" Think about it.

Conclusion: problems are a fact of life. How you solve them is crucial in order to move on in Life. Even though the world might seem to be against you, always tell yourself not to give up or give in. Just do it!

Cheers!

Some Thing(s) To Smile About

I recently picked up a new book (well, actually my mom picked it off the shelf XD) to read. It's called "Something Else To Smile About" by Zig Ziglar, another famous motivator who wrote books like "See You At The Top", which has sold millions of copies worldwide. In this book, he offers some very short and simple but meaningful and inspirational thoughts about life in general and how we can make the most out of it whether in hard times or otherwise. I'm still reading it, but the first few pages I flipped through have generally been thought-provoking. Some of them I've learned through experience, some from John C. Maxwell, while others are new to me.

Let's start of with a little quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

If you learn only methods, you'll be tied to your methods, but if you learn principles you can devise your own methods.

Pretty neat, eh? It's a matter of what goes in our minds that counts. Speaking of which, what influences our thinking? Mostly this influence comes from the people we meet and what we see every day - be it on the telly, the computer or at the movies. If you've noticed, there are times when we absorb the positive traits of a person we meet, or do something that we've seen in the movies, all out of random spontaneity or after some time. We always take in the good, but be warned that we also end up taking in the bad stuff too.

Our performance now will determine our success and happiness in the future. So if you absorb lots of positive elements from your daily life you can be sure that you'll find yourself getting on the right track. When it comes to people involved in the dark side of life, they chose to take in only the bad stuff that will only ruin their lives. It's not unavoidable; all you have to do is watch what you feed into your mind. This food for thought affects our actions and our future as well, so it's best if you control what goes into your head.

Take some time off and think this through. Ask yourself, "What goes into my head? Are they beneficial? Or are they dragging me down? What can I do to avoid being dragged down? Can I change my thoughts in time?" If you can answer all of them then you're on the right track.

What Do I Like About You?

That's a good question. For my newest social experiment and affirmation instrument, I will list down all the nice stuff I see in you people - hence the title of the post.

So.... let's begin, shall we?

I like RJ's winning attitude and charisma as a leader and a friend. He's always on the get-go when it comes to things that involve his work and his pals. And he's always there when you need a friend to comfort you. Indeed, he's a trusty friend to have around.

I like Sandra's cheerful and lively nature with a charming smile. And the fact she's a caring and understanding sister with an awesome, vivacious, bubbly and fun-loving attitude to boot adds to her value as a great friend and sibling.

I like Mabel's eye for everything. Her insight can sometimes be full of truth and great meaning to it, in spite of the fact it's just mere observation. Maybe it's the experience she has with cameras that also shaped her views.

I like Kelly's desire for knowledge. Food for thought is indeed a good thing, and she may turn out to be an Einstein in all aspects. She easily broadens her horizons with every passing day as knowledge goes into her mind.

I like Eva's megawatt grin, and the fact she easily prove she's (no pun intended, sis) bigger than her body. She's got spunk and an attitude she's not afraid to use, and she can be full of fun (and perhaps cheeky) surprises too.

I like Ally's readiness to anything. She's brilliant, that I can say, and the fact she's always around to lend a helping hand when you need one. I appreciate all the help she's given while I was juggling with the Chess Club's stuff.

I like Christopher's heart. When it comes to dance, his heart is 110 percent in it - he gives his all to do his very best. Similarly, when it comes to his friends, he always has his heart in the right place to help them in any way possible.

I like Rick's resolve. Though I can tell he's having some hard times, he doesn't easily let his emotions out until one asks. But I firmly believe his determination and perseverance will return to him very soon and help push his worries away.

I like Jerry's carefree nature, and the fact he can be likened to a natural anti-depressant. Every time I see him, he always has that disarming smile of his that easily lifts my spirits and gets me back on track.

I like Jane's sense of comradeship - it's plain to see. No restrictions, no boundaries, no questions, no faking it; what she has is an honest-to-God friendship with all her friends, in spite of their differences in beliefs, cultures, etcetera.

I like Deborah's inner strength. There's something about her that makes her tick; maybe God's guiding light, maybe her willpower, or maybe some other factor that defines her. And not to mention her cute smile!

I like Sara's super-bubbly nature, and the times she's given me some great advice. She's almost like a mum to me, and I truly appreciate all the encouragement she's given in times when I was at my lowest.

I like Thomas' good-hearted nature. The reason why he won the INTI scholarship wasn't just because of his leadership talent and his oratory skills, but because people easily warm up to an awesome and bright dude like him.

I like Timothy's friendliness to his pals. That easily helps him build bridges with others and fit in with the crowd effortlessly. He's been a great friend since I've known him, and he continues to be like that at all times.

I like Venkeeran just because he's himself. I can never expect what he might say next because anything he says ultimately has us breaking out in laughter. But I guess that's why he's so sociable and so fun to hang out with.

Have I missed anyone? Well, I'll come out with another list soon enough, don't you worry. Cheers!

Random Reflections

Watched 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' the other day, and despite the fact I stopped reading (and enjoying) the Harry Potter series (after reading 'Order of the Phoenix' I gave up), I have to give it to them for making a great movie. From what I heard and read they decided to stay true to the book, and I hope they did. Still, it was good stuff. Full of action, laughter and even some teary moments.

It was nice to see how Harry Potter cherished his friends and showed his concern for them. In fact, his camaraderie with his two best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger is what you don't always see today. They really are foxhole friends (and in the case of Ron and Hermione, foxhole lovers! XD) and it's heartwarming to see them go through thick and thin together. It's as if from the moment they knew each other in the first book, and shared fun times in Gryffindor their friendship has been fated to happen.

Similiarly we should celebrate our friends for being there for us. Maybe we can take a cue from Harry and gang, too. With friends, sometimes when there is a need to go the extra mile for another, we should do what we can to help them. It would do them and you some good.

Think about it. Cheers!

LTC Reflections: Who I Am Makes A Difference

Back in the black! Sorry for the long hiatus, but I've been very busy with stuff. So here's my newest post. Cheers!

If I recall, this theme I used as my title was actually used in one of the leadership courses I attended some time back. I can't recall whether it was my first LTC, or the Youth Empowerment organized by INTI, or maybe it was actually from a book, but I remember it very well. Because what we all learned in the recent LTC leads us to realize this point.

Truthfully, I was honestly surprised by the affirmations I received from the people around me. People I never thought I'd impact felt inspired by me (as Deborah puts it XD) - and honestly I didn't expect to be like that. I just thought of doing what I believed what was right. Indeed, it takes guts to be the one to make the first move. And sometimes I find it hard to have the balls of adamentium to do it! XD It can be difficult to say what you wanna say when you worry about what they think of you.

Jokes aside, I was touched by what my friends had to say about me during the sharing session on the second night - specifically RJ, Kelly, Mabel, Tihn Chern, Jaden, Nick and Keng Fai. You showed me that you care for me, and you appreciate all I've said and done. And also not forgetting those who put the little affirmation notes in my envelope. You genuinely touched me for saying all that you've said/written. And yes, I'm glad to call you my friends! =)

I tell myself everyday that it doesn't matter what they say or do to you. What matters most is that you get the message across and they value it for all their lives. Before I started my Change, I was a little selfish when it came to helping people. I wanted their attention, and I wanted to be known as more than just an individual. It's not the way one should help others! When you put people ahead of yourself, you have to be more open with them and understand their needs. And when you are, all kinds of goodness will flow into their life and even into your own.

I firmly stand in my beliefs. But I never did think that in reality, there are people who actually value it - and value me in the process. I never want to be acknowledged for anything (I'm actually pretty thankful Deb didn't praise me on the last day XD) - like when RJ was asking everyone to listen to me as I prepared to talk about being proactive on the first day during the reflection, I was like, "RJ flatters me." Yeah, I'm sure you remember me saying that.

But I'm still human, and I can't deny even I do need attention and praise. It's like what Mr. Eric says: "When you praise someone, they'll reply like, 'No-lah, no-lah, it's nothing-lah!' But what they actually mean is 'More-lah, more-lah!'" Comedic as it is, everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere. I confess sometimes it's hard to fit in with my close friends and even my siblings at times. I feel awkward being there when they're talking about something, and sometimes I feel like I'm left out. But I never complain. I just tell myself I should be there not for the small talk, but just to BE there. With them. Listening. Laughing together. Sharing a bit. Smiling. I don't mind. I get used to it.

And when the seven of you shared your thoughts of me, it... it felt strange. I won't deny I enjoyed the feeling! XD But then again, it never ever occurred to me that what I do leaves more than just a simple lesson/thought, but it leaves more than that. I was actually leaving a legacy without even knowing it. I surprised myself then. It's due to the fact the good things in life are always appreciated, no matter how small. And I forgot how important that value truly is.

They said of everything I'd done for them, what I do that makes others feel good, and how much I appreciate them as more than friends. And yes, you ARE more than friends! In fact, if it were possible I'd have every one I know become my sibling! So long as I can gain your trust and you gain mine, as Mr Palan said: "The sky's the limit." Believe it! When we all set our prejudice aside and unite, what we can achieve isn't just confined to our roles as a Prefect. When we think highly of others and praise their positive side, even though you hate that person and you have to say it through gritted teeth, don't be surprised that after a couple of months you'll become the best of friends. After all, opposites attract.

And when it came to the affirmations and the signatures in my magazine. Good grief, I was yet again surprised! It was the same effect as the sharing session the previous day. I never expected so many! And all your 'thank-you's will not go unnoticed or forgotten, I guarantee that! It's because of people like you that gives me the inspiration to do what I do. And I'm thankful for that. All your words of wisdom too will give me the strength to push on in the game of Life.

When I came back and started typing this, I ruffled through my stuff and uncovered the affirmations I received two years ago from my fellow Prefects of the term 08/09. I smile everytime I flip through them, and I reminisce on the great times we shared those days. People like Dominic, Timothy, Joshua, Nakhieeran, Hou Keat, Thomas, Venkeeran, Jia-Ee, Sue Jane, Sara, Karen, Ben, Leroy, Koy Yew, Kitt Leong, and all those who stood side by side in that term - man, we rocked the house. XD And I thank those who affirmed me during that LTC. I sincerely appreciate your encouragement. =)

I do believe there's more to come in Life. As Kelly wrote to me, "A journey of milestones begins with a simple step." We must move on and use what we learned to improve all areas in our life. Hopefully one day, even though our schedule will be tight on us next year, we can all come back together and celebrate the friendship that we cherish - for now and forever. Rock on, people!!!

Of Days Ahead

Sigh. The days are just packed.

Before I go on, I have to say once again how strange the world is. Humanity is only closing towards their doom, and yet no one seems to be bothered about it. Shouldn't we be doing something about it? Like maybe standing shoulder to shoulder and making a change?

Hmmm.

Well. I guess things can never be what they seem. My life in general is a perfect mirror to that.

Let's see now: fell into depression, lost control over my thoughts, and even lost a friend. Well, in a way. Still, I'm only human. I shouldn't bother wasting my time worrying about those. The future yet awaits, and I need to focus on what it may throw at me.

Hopefully, I'll make it through pretty fine. Hopefully.

But at least I have friends like you around. That would greatly help. =)

Cheers for now. Pondering about what's in store for the LTC.

The Elevator Principle: Lifting Others to Goodwill

When it comes to making people feel good, we can easily draw up a list of people who we know behave this way. It's undeniable that these people know what they're doing - all they believe in is simply spreading goodwill to anyone who comes into their lives. And that is a hard thing to do in today's modern materialistic world. The Elevator Principle is aptly named because people who make others feel good about themselves, other people and Life in general practise this - it essentially like an elevator that goes up and down; when it goes up, it means that goodwill is being spread, and if it goes down it's otherwise.

Back in the 1920s physician, consultant and psychologist George W. Crane began teaching social psychology at the Northwestern University in Chicago. The early classes he used to teach comprised evening students who were from the working class - men and women who worked at day and wanted to improve themselves at night. After a student told him of her problems with isolation and loneliness after she moved here from Wisconsin, Crane devised a simple plan to boost his student's social skills.

He came up with the Compliment Club the following week, and was the first of many practical assignments he would give his students. He told them:

"You are to use your psychology every day either at home or at work or on the streetcars and buses. For the first month, your written assignment will be on the Compliment Club. Every day you are to pay an honest compliment to each of three different persons. You can increase that number if you wish, but to qualify for a class grade, you must have complimented at least three people every day for thirty days...

"Then, at the end of the thirty-day experiment, I want you to write a theme or paper on your experiences. Include the changes you have noted in the people around you, as well as your own altered outlook on life."

Needless to say, many students objected to his assignment. One person asked Dr. Crane, "Suppose you meet somebody you dislike? Wouldn't it be insincere to praise your enemy?"

"No, it is not insincerity when you compliment your enemy," Crane replied, "for the compliment is an honest statement of praise for some objective trait or merit that deserves commendation. You will find that nobody is devoid of merit or virtue... Your praise may buoy up the morale of lonely souls who are almost ready to give up the struggle to do good deeds. You never know when your casual compliment may catch a boy or girl, or man or woman, at the critical point when he would otherwise toss in the sponge."

Crane's experiment worked wonders on his students. Not only did they blossom into more positive people, but even their interactions with others had great positive impacts on them. They noticed the change, and they were very much astonished to see the results. Dr. Crane himself was practising the Elevator Principle - and see what it did for him!

Crane said, "The world is starving for appreciation. It is hungry for compliments. But somebody must start the ball rolling by speaking first and saying a nice thing to his companion." It is true. And it should start from yourself! You don't exactly have to do like what Dr. Crane's students did for the Compliment Club, but there are other ways to add value to other people. Indeed, if you think about it, people who add value to others tend to be more outgoing and extroverted - as though they were advertising themselves to the world. But just like action and reaction, there are people who take away value from others by being selfish, arrogant and unwilling to listen. These are the kind of people who suffer the most in Life.

There are four kinds of people in the world. Those who ADD something to life are called 'adders'. (No, not the snake! XD) These people are those we should enjoy and cherish because they intentionally come to the aid of others who need help. Evangelist D.L. Moody, an adder himself, advised people to "do all the good you can, to all the people you can, in all ways you can, as long as ever you can." Also, as author Frank Tyger said, "Friendship consists of a willing ear, an understanding heart and a helping hand." And even I try to be someone who does this everyday with purpose. Even at work an adder will be seen as an organization's asset - these employees go early and stay late; do something to help co-workers, and even go the extra mile for their bosses. Such people will find themselves nominated for a promotion even if he's been in for only a month.

There are other people who SUBTRACT something in life. Normally these subtracters accidentally minus out value from our lives - and they won't realize it! They give us heavier burdens to carry around, and believe me it's not easy to make them carry part of it for you - they might end up adding even more than what you had in the first place! Sure, receiving is what we do best but when it comes to these people, they are giving us more pain than joy. And who wants that? Thus, if you have friends like this, tolerate them. If you can try and change them. I know a few friends who are subtracters by default. And even though I say changing them is hard, I myself welcome the challenge.

Also, there are a select few who MULTIPLY something in life. These multipliers are people you want to have close to you every day. Everyone wants to be an adder, but to be a multiplier needs dedication, perseverance, faith, skills and intention to give to others than to yourself. I can proudly say RJ Kevin is a multiplier in my life - he's always been there whenever I was down and out. He values friendship. He's always supportive, and always comes up with neat ideas and all. He sharpens my vision and maximizes my strength. And he's passionate about doing something great for his friends and family. There are probably a number of multipliers in your life too - like your parents!

Finally, there are people who DIVIDE something in life - and these people are normally avoided at all costs. These dividers (no, not the road obstacle!) are the ones who really 'take you to the basement,' as in they'll bring you really down very often and with increasing annoyance. Unlike subtracters, dividers intentionally hurt others and hurt themselves in the process. But because they're already so bitter they usually don't see the aftermath they've caused. The only way they can feel better is by making others do worse than they do. And where does that lead to? More fighting, disagreements, arguments and the like. In short, they spell trouble.

So let's do something about it. Let's all be multipliers - or in this case, lifters - as we lift people up to their fullest potential and add value to them continually. Lifters will give daily encouragement to anyone they know, or to people who need special attention. Roman philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca said, "Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness." Lifters know what to do to help others, and they make sure that with the power they bear the impact they leave behind will allow others to overcome their worries and their problems. It is up to them to make one's life better or worse - and they always choose what's best for their friends and family.

Lifters are also people who initiate the positive in the negative. To become an instrument of change in a negative environment they do everything they can to help people climb out of their misery and despair. Finally, lifters also understand that Life doesn't give second chances. Whatever good they want to do, they must do it now! They act quickly, for they know that Time and tide wait for no man. Like the quote goes, "I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

It doesn't matter what your social background is, nor does it matter if you're the most popular kid in school, or the most productive employee in a company. What matters is you make the effort to lift others when they're down. Don't let the chance slip away from your hands; when you start lifting others, you'll notice that the changes that follow not only benefit them, but also benefits you in ways you'd never imagine!

You raise me up,

So I can stand on mountains,

You raise me up,

To walk on stormy seas,

I am strong when I am on your shoulders,

You raise me up,

To more than I can be.

Cheers!

No Time's Alright For Fighting

Why are we wasting our time hurling abuse at each other? Do I have to keep repeating, "Can't we all just get along?" all the time? It pains me to see friends arguing over even the smallest of problems and making it a big one in the end. Sometimes, my heart is filled with the desire to knock some sense into them.

I don't really know much about what caused all this feuding. Preferably, I don't want and don't have to know at all. What I do know is I should try my best to facilitate somewhat of a peace treaty between fighting friends. Seriously, why are we all fighting each other when the energy is best used on more practical things like finishing our assignments and stuff? We are only wasting away the time we have holding grudges, constantly arguing and fighting because in the end we're only making ourselves worse than before.

I've heard that bitter people have a higher tendency to die at an earlier age. So I've heard. It seems that regardless of the time spent on exercising, these individuals are still prone to suffer these complications compared to people who are always interacting peacefully with others. C'mon, if you love yourself just do a little favor and let the enmities subside. It'll do wonders.

Life indeed can be full of surprises, but that should come to no surprise. Truthfully, a family friend said, "Life is simple; we just make it complicated." Sometimes, I find that to be the truth with all of us. In our pursuit for material wealth, we transform and become something that is very unlike what we are now. The materialistic mind-set can get you into trouble if you fall for its tricks, and believe me there are a lot of things Life can throw at you that you've never experienced before.

We've had our fair share of tough days and fighting days. I had many a quarrel with my friends before (well, thankfully not a lot of arguments) but in the end we always forgive and forget and allow Life to resume as usual, with the usual interactions and all. So why not do the same? Or maybe take the initiative to be the forgiving one? Let (both) your troubles fall behind you. Time indeed facilitates our thought-processes if we allow it. (As I mentioned before: PATIENCE)

One problem why we can't seem to mend bridges is mostly because, well, men tend to put their pride above all else. (Maybe except money) Their egotistic nature prevents them from being sensitive to certain issues currently at hand. And sometimes they can even be insensitive to their wife's needs. Or they pursue their careers only and let the wife do everything else like she were a slave? Even when it comes to issues outside the family, there'll be cases. Men have lots of reasons to start a war, and they will start one without hesitation - and it takes men of thought to make sure these conflicts come to a halt. Seriously, guys, can we start using our heads more than our hands to take care of problems?

As for the women, I am not commenting. Not because I'm shy or anything, but it's obvious that I'm NOT a lady, and that prevents me from continuing the comment. If you do have a say on this, do drop by. (If I discover any foul language, implication of insult, resentment between the lines, etc then your post will be off the Wall)

But please! Enough of infighting. Enough of the dissatisfaction, disappointment and hatred with others - let them go. Sure, it's hard to - but then again you'll have to. Tell yourself it's not for the other party, but for your sake. Flawed as we are, it is only human that we make sure all things go back to what they used to be. No more.

Additions: Mending Bridges

I'd like to add to certain things I've said in my post "Part VII of Friendship Eternal: Mending Bridges."

When I mentioned how a simple "Hello" can mean a lot more to a person, I forgot to take into account the overusage of the greeting nowadays. Well, yeah, hellos are part of life as well as signifying a person's polite behavior. But because it's become a common term within the community, even if a person intends to show he cares in one simple "Heya" or "Hi there", some people may not see the underlying message. In some cases, people will notice the difference. But such occurences are a rarity nowadays, except in sudden situations.

We all want to help our friends get back on their feet when they're down, don't we? But if time cannot permit you to give them strong moral support then what can you do rather than say hi?

Well, a light pat on the back or a warm handshake wouldn't hurt. You can do one of these within a few seconds (depending on the other person as well) and then get on with whatever you have to do. And make sure it's genuine too! False motivation can easily be detected (especially sensitive people), and that might not help in any way at all. When you give them generously, they can feel it flow from you and into them, like chi energy.

Another thing would be about rebuilding bridges you have burned; meaning friendships that were around but didn't stay long - mostly due to some problem involving both parties. It's normal to hear of such things happening. But if I were you, many problems don't last forever. You can't always hold a grudge on someone for even an eternity. When these things happen, there are two possibilities to its resolution: both go their separate ways, or they come back to each other apologetically. Me, if I ever have this problem again, I'd want to settle with the latter option.

Most of the time, when we have problems with others it usually takes some time (even up to a few years) before both sides can mend ties again. The fact is, we need to stop putting the blame on each other or the friendship will suffer a great loss. Seriously, we need to take it easy for a bit! We're only pulling ourselves into a black hole where there is no hope for return if we continue hating others. Sure, you may have face problems with him or her; you both may not see eye to eye almost all the time; etc. But how about if it was YOU that's the problem itself? Ah-ha, you might just be Bob/Bobbie!

No one can always see eye to eye on anything. Which is why most arguments begin - because of our differences. Step into their shoes, and you may understand why they see things from their perspective. So it is advised that everyone must solve problems TOGETHER and seeing it through the eyes of another. Tolerance is better than avoidance, after all.

Look, I know it's not easy to do this. But let's take me. I have some issues with my father, and it pains me to see him wage a psychological conflict with my mum. I don't know what caused him to change, but this change isn't making him any better, nor is it making my mum's life any different either. Except lots of resentment and distrust with him now. But in the end, in spite of the fact I hate him, I will have to forgive him. It's a bit of an irony, but it gets the job done. Even though he's bullying the family, digging through our stuff when we're not at home, and all sorts of stuff.  But no matter how much I despise him and his kind, forgiveness is bound to creep in.

God never asked us to be resentful and hateful to one another. If our purpose is to generate hate, we're not going to get anywhere save a closer distance to the realm of eternal suffering. Every person (except conmen) deserves the chance to make a difference in the most honest and capable way possible.

Spend some time thinking these through, and give me your comments too please.

Cheers!

There Is Love - If You Know Where To Look

Now the main reason why I decided to highlight this topic is because of how people seem to misunderstand the real deal love brings. I was especially motivated by certain events that involved other people from all walks of life, and it only made me think about how most of us react to love. But please do remember that these are NOT professionally written thoughts; these are how I see the point. If you'd like to clarify or add to something, you are most welcome to do so.

When it comes to loving someone, there are a whole lot of factors that need to be taken into consideration. These include commitment to one another, trust in each other, and patience with each other. Most of the time, short-term couples exist because there is none of these elements in their lives. They just go by it because of what they call 'love for each other'. Hearing that makes me laugh.

There are couples who have commitment, but don't have trust. That won't work because even if you're committed to each other's wellbeing, without trust you're only going to end up bickering with each other. Those who have trust but have no commitment face that problem too; in the end, they can never stay in a stable relationship because both parties don't want to do their part. Then there are those without patience; that is a disaster waiting to happen. I can go on with the list, but you already can tell what will happen next.

Let's face it: when you're really in love, both parties will stay true to each other no matter what happens. It takes lots of effort to make sure the relationship is going to be a lasting one. Firstly, when they start feeling mutual liking for one another, the number one factor that ensures their love goes on is TRUST. They need to let each other know how they really feel about one another. They can't hide any secrets that may jeopardize the relationship. They must be willing to make sacrifices in order to let their love grow. Trust is the basis to every kind of relationship; without it, it's like a building without it's foundation. And technically, when you don't have a foundation, you can't build anything!

When they have trust, they must also have COMMITMENT to complement that trust. When they are committed to making it last, they add to their trust-building by focusing solely on each other's needs. They commit to their love by making more sacrifices; cultivating their love in a positive way; put the situation ahead of their relationship; and also share the satisfaction they gain from each other, simply by being in their company or doing something nice for them. Committed couples who have trust can go far, but even so the foundation still needs to be strengthened.

That's where PATIENCE comes in. When the lovers have patience, nothing can break 'em. Rome wasn't built in a day, and you can't expect love to instantly become strong once you've made the feelings known to one another. That is wrong! They need to build it up slowly and at a constant pace. There's no need to rush, as rushing it will only complicate matters further. After all impatient people are the ones who always lose the most, because they expect their seeds to bloom into flowers right after you plant them. Everything takes time, and it demands patience.

So unless you and your future partner can answer these questions:
Do we trust each other well enough?
Are we committed in making this relationship last?
Do we have the patience to build our love slowly?
Then you can consider starting a relationship with him or her.

But be warned! When it comes to dating at an early age, there are perils. It's all about raging hormones when you're a teen, and they usually cloud your judgment. Sure, there are couples who have dated even since Form Four. Unfortunately, most of these relationships are only temporary, because in the end the momentum they carried with them lost its energy while the journey was still going on. And let's not forget our parents also have veto power in these matters; you just have to know whether he or she IS the right one, and that both your parents agree with your decision, or you may end up regretting or broken hearted.

There are always external factors too that can make or break relationships, even the strongest ones. Jealousy, envy, greed, pride, lust, vanity - these are some of love's deadliest enemies. The moment you have any form of these sins creep into your life, you had better snuff them out of your life or they will ruin it badly. Even couples married for decades can end up divorcing if the man spends too much time gambling, or abusing his wife. Love is indeed a gift of God, but the Devil is always lurking around to place God's plans into a standstill.

I will elaborate more on this topic in a later post. Hopefully, this post will give you a small insight into what really makes love tick.

Cheers!

The Hammer Principle: Stop Bashing Others!

I'm very sure that whenever someone disagrees with your opinion, you'd be prepared to face them in combat - like two rival armies clashing over who's the best at conquering. You justify your facts are true, and theirs are not according to your beliefs. They feel the same vice versa, and when both sides are unwilling to give in to the other, then it's all-out war. Let me tell you something: STOP FIGHTING AND START LISTENING!

That's what the Hammer Principle is about. Instead of overreacting to everything, take a gentler and more polite way to solve the problem. If you've read the Situation Principle, then you know about not letting the situation mean more than the relationship. Essentially, this also shares some of its traits. We are normally inclined to use a "hammer" to bash all our problems in like they were nails. The truth is, a gentler approach can achieve just as much - but without the pain, the fuss, the problems, the consenquences, etc. Thus, it's better to follow these Ts to get things right when problem solving.

1. Total Picture
Don't jump to conclusions! That's the biggest problem with us humans. We always jump to a certain conclusion before the sentence is finished. Instead of doing that, do this:

Listen - Ask - Listen - Ask more - Listen again - Respond

When you slow down it's very easy to respond the right way.

2. Timing
Time your words and actions right too! Ask yourself: 'Am I ready to confront?' and after that, 'Is the other person willing to hear?' The first question decides whether you've done your homework to face the problem. The second question is harder, but can be answered with a YES if both parties are open to each other, and are not arguing about it.

3. Tone
As Proverbs stated, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." When someone responds angrily, respond politely and softly. They will soften too.

4. Temperature
If the reaction is worse than the action, the problem usually increases. Following John C. Maxwell's Reprimand Rule: "Take thirty seconds to share feelings - and then it's over." Anything more than thirty seconds means you're using the hammer. This helps control you from going overboard with your words and actions.

And it's best to remember that 'hammering' is best to tackle tough jobs, not people. When it comes to people, one should let the past stay in the past. After all, if you remind the person of his/her past mistakes, he/she may be inclined to do the same thing! Also, don't make things worse by overreacting. The person may already be hurting, and you're only going to add more hurt to him/her. Then,also remember actions speak louder than words. Even though a problem is solved the scars left behind will always remain. "The way you treat people will stya with them a lot longer than the words you choose," as John C. Maxwell would say.

Practise what you learned in the Situation Principle. (If you haven't read it yet, I suggest you go through this first) Make sure you treat everyone equally and not following quick judgments or misunderstandings. And finally, it's always best to be forgiving and admit your mistakes. When you humble yourself, the other person may feel guilty for hammering you and they will do the same. Eventually, a peace treaty will be signed between both warring factions.

And do look into your own selves too. You may be the one wielding the hammer. Before you can change others, have others mirror you and tell you what it is they see. If they see a problem, then you had better do something about it. Replace the hammer with a velvet glove; it helps iron out the rough spots between each other.

Cheers!