Five on Friday

1. My birthday was great!! Nice and low key, dinner and company was perfect. Then we were off to Ms  ball game. Overall it was awesome day! 

2. Maternity clothes are pretty awesome! I haven't busted into them, but I know it won't be long! Luckily I have had some handed down to me and oh the comfort!! 

12.5 weeks:

And the bump from the front:

Baby loves the right side... I plan to post a first trimester recap around 14 weeks, although can I just say that these apps are confusing? Some say the first trimester ends at 12 weeks and some say 14... So I am going to stick with 14 for my recap. Then I will do weekly bump dates.

3. My beautiful birthday cake I had made! I told her I wanted chevrons and polka dots and she didn't fail to impress me!! 

4. It's the long weekend!!! Which means lake time!! We are heading up Sunday/Monday and plan to get stuff done around home on Saturday. I hate leaving the cats for too long as well without having someone come in and check on them! 

5. I hope to have met the record for getting up 7 times to pee last night... Yup 7.... I was awake for more than that with my crazy allergies! I'm not even sure what I am reacting to outside but whatever it is - its bad!! Hoping it comes to an end soon!! 

Have a great weekend!! 

A Reflection on 28

Today I turn 29!

Isn't this the year I need to make the most of because I'm going to be 29 forever from now on? 

And in all honesty, although I cannot predict the rest of 29, but so far it is shaping up to be one of the best of my years. The year I hope to see many of my past birthday wishes all come true!! I'm due to have my first baby while I'm 29 and this alone means the world to me, as you all know! That was no easy task. I will spend most of my 29th year pregnant! Something I have always wanted. I will celebrate 7 years with M. I will see the man I married and love turn into a father. Our family will grow, our hearts will grow, along with our love for one another and a sweet blessing we created together! (I am more than aware that things can change but I'm thinking positively)

As much as I dread getting another year older, this year it's different! I have soo much to look forward to! I am truly blessed. 

Although I found myself somewhat emotional last night - could be my pregnancy hormones, but finishing my 28th year brings tears to me eyes. Putting this year behind me is harder than I thought! Suddenly this all feels real to me. I'm closing on a huge chapter of my life, one that was dragging on and on without sight of the end. 

28, as much as it was off to a rough start, it made up for it in the end and I will also never forget 28. It will keep me honest in knowing what a struggle is, learning more and more about my own strength, feelings, body and how my past has changed me. My eyes are open now to soo many things I had never focused on. 

It was the year I found myself pregnant! The year that put a stop to years of suffering with infertility. 

As hard as 26, 27 and 28 were they have helped create a new meaning to my life. They have made me stronger, taught me many life lessons I could never have imagined learning. I don't regret these years at all, despite the hardships, but I look at coming out of it all, finding the light at the end of the tunnel. Conquering the odds and never giving up. 

Goodbye 28. Your chapter has ended in the best possible way. 

I won't be sipping champagne this year, but I hope you all do for me!! 

Here is to 29! 

Our Journey to Baby V - Part 2

We started our second cycle on November 27, 2011. This protocol was a lot more difficult and involved 2 shots of Lupron per day - which suppresses everything since I had the allergic reaction to the other cycle. I started with just this for 5 days before adding in the stimulant shots which were Menopur (burns like hell) and Gonal F. That meant 4 needles/day. Somehow I managed to get it done.

That is one things I can say that when you want something soo badly it is amazing what you will do to accomplish that. But the sad part is that you eventually get to a desperate breaking point where you jump if they said jump. 

There were numerous occasions where I would be driving to London (an hour away) at 6 AM for monitoring with M in the passenger seat prepping my needle and giving it to me while I drive because everything is on a time line! 

I stimmed for 9 days and went in for my first egg retrieval on December 11, 2011. We only ended up getting 4 eggs, where as most people would get a lot more eggs per retrieval. The procedure was uncomfortable as my right ovary sits high so in order to access it with the needle through my cervix (sorry for the TMI) was for the lady to push like hell on my right ovary to access it. It was horrible!!

We found out only 1 embryo survived. Luckily of great quality! Implantation was on Dec 12, 2011. Felt great to be pregnant until proven otherwise! Recovery from the procedures took a while as it takes a while for the ovaries to shrink back down to size from the size of grapefruits. 

On Christmas Eve I started spotting. Which was 10 days post transfer day. Confirmed BFN (big fat negative) on January 3, 2012. The year was off to a rough start. We were once again devastated, but luckily had each other to turn to, along with some friends and family. 

In March 2012 we went back to the RE to discuss our options. I wanted to deal with my hydro which overall meant losing the tube. We scheduled surgery for April 19, 2012 for having an Essure coil inserted to close off my right tube. This was not an easy decision, yet a very permanent one. They say that the hydrosalpinx can drain fluid into the uterus which can be toxic to an embryo. There is no proof, but yet a possibility. Before going into another cycle we decided we better give ourselves the best chance. Once the coil is in, it is not reversible.

I had the surgery along with a hysteroscopy just to look around my uterus for any other issues. Luckily this test was fine and the surgery was a success. Recovery was really slow after that one. It takes 3 months for the coil to completely close. 

Part 3 to be continued. 

Weekend Rewind

Friday was baseball and they mercied the team! Which meant I could go home to bed early, while M went the restaurant for a beer with some of the guys from the team!! 

Saturday morning I baked with Mom and we made chocolate chip banana muffins. I ran out to grab groceries and managed to stay waaay under budget. The stores had great sales! 

I came home and M was hanging the second load of laundry, we had cleaned our bedroom earlier so I was sorting through some stuff we put on the dining room table. He came in the house and told me we no longer have a clothesline... The metal bar had snapped and hit him in the head right after he had just hung the whole line full of laundry. So I went to help him pick up all the clothes out of the yard and noticed our garden was dying. We have a trumpeter vine that we have been trying to kill because it takes over the garden and well it has done just that again!! The damn thing is impossible to kill and now it is killing my whole garden. So despite my horrible allergies I went into that garden and ripped the damn vine out. I ended up needing Ms help with it because it is strong, but we got rid of most of it!!  I told M we need to find out a way to kill that thing for good! 

We had perogies for dinner which my Mom loved and then worked laundry after dinner. Mom and I lasted dice poker and called it a night. 

Sunday we got up, packed Moms stuff up and then we were on our way to drop her off at her apartment. We got her all set up, stopped at Target to check out the baby section - which had a poor selection compared to the one I usually goto in Cambridge. 

Our weekend was busy but good and I feel like we at least accomplished a lot. We are starting to talk more about the nursery plans and when baby comes where stuff will go in the house.

We are dawning the 2nd trimester now with being into my 12th week. Some apps say I am in my 2nd trimester and some say I have a week left! LOL! But we snapped this pic at 11 weeks and I just posted it on Instagram this weekend! 

Feels soo crazy to actually have a bump!! But I love it!! 

This And That Thursday

The remainder of my week is super busy, as my Mom is back here and we are transitioning her for home this weekend! But she has a line up of appointments that started yesterday with an eye doctor running 3 hours behind! Brutal! Today we head back to London for a carotid doppler to see how her veins are healing. 

M has his 4th night of baseball tonight. Tomorrow night will be 5 games in a week! 

Found sweet babies heartbeat this week! Melts my heart! You can find it on Instagram (lifeasiknowit09) because apparently the blogger app doesn't allow videos! It's a lot easier to find now as my pregnancy progresses. 

Bought myself a belly band! I was struggling with my new shorts post-weight loss were snug to do up, but fit perfectly otherwise and my old clothes pre-weight loss are still waaay to big. So the belly band allows me to continue to wear the new shorts just unbuttoned. I tried the elastic trick, but lets face it when you are peeing every 20 minutes (sometimes literally) the elastic is not practical!! 

Tuesday night our friends J & S and the kids came over for dinner. We had a great steak dinner and visit and then they came down and watched some of M's game! They left just 1 inning too soon before M hit a home run for the girls just as he promised! They did get to see his throw from the field to home plate getting the runner and hitter out! I haven't seen him do that since his shoulder surgery! 

I am soo looking forward to fall TV starting!! I find TV starts to drag come the end of the summer! 

My allergies have started back up, just as I was saying how great they were doing! 

I'm thinking of baking tomorrow afternoon!! I'm thinking banana muffins and apple crisp!! 

That's all I've got for today! I will be back Monday with my weekend update I'm hoping and Tuesday will probably be Part 2 of Our Journey to Baby V. 

Have a great weekend!! 

Weekend Rewind

This past weekend was filled completely with baseball. Friday night, Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon. Friday night they won their league game. They won the first 2 games in the tournament and lost the last one!

Saturday afternoon we grabbed drinks and food with the ball team after the game at the new restaurant and then M and I hit up Babies R Us so I could get a pregnancy pillow because my body pillows aren't cutting it. Huge relief!! I'm sleeping better again and my back/neck isn't sore from sleeping like a retard. We wondered around and checked out all of the baby stuff and decided on some stuff we will want. 

Saturday night we went for a walk with the dogs and then down to M and J's for outdoor movie night! We had quite the crowd all lined up in front of the fire pit and watched Oblivion. I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan myself, or a sci-fi fan, but this one wasn't bad!! I managed to stay awake through the whole thing as well. 

Sunday after ball we came home, relaxed for bit and then went and grabbed some groceries. We also gave into one of cravings for Dairy Queen. Those commercials kill me every time! 

I had a nice long nap - the smell of dinner woke me up. While M cut the grass I took the dogs for a walk. Then we settled in for a nice and quiet evening. I almost miss our Sundays come fall, where we have dinner together and watch Heartland. 

Our Journey to Baby V - Part 1

Our journey to Baby V was far from simple, but I am beginning to believe that it has happened just the way it was supposed to. I can honesty say I never imagined going through what I have, but now I find it hard to see it any other way.

By sharing our story I am not doing this for pity, I'm doing this to put awareness out. This is just a glimpse of how an infertile feels. How infertility is a devastating fact of life for some. I could have been sharing this along the way I realize, but I just wasn't ready to. It's not an easy topic. It's not attention I wanted drawn to myself. By having this blog as it was, it made me focus on the good going on my life, not the bad.

This is our story. It has made us stronger and it has taught us many life lessons some couples may never understand. It has given us an understanding of one another, what love is, what hope is and what doubt isn't. 

April 14, 2011, I was diagnosed with a hydrosalpinx on my right tube. I went to my doctor for results of my sonohystogram, sure that everything was fine and I was shocked to learn just the opposite. That day was probably one of my hardest. Knowing that this could ruin our future plans, better yet I need to tell my husband that I am the reason our baby dreams may not come true. I was devastated. For someone who hates medical procedures, hospitals and doctors I have had my fill. We were referred onto a reproductive endocrinologist, as at that point we knew getting pregnant wasn't going to be easy after we had already been trying for a year. Our RE recommended trying IVF. On July 21, 2011 - our 4th wedding anniversary we found ourselves sitting in a doctors office listening to our options. It was at this point it all became real. All of these feelings of letting down my husband and our dreams dawned on me. There was no way out! But somehow we left that appointment that took all day feeling encouraged. 

I will say that M has been my rock through this all. He took the news better than I expected. He has supported me and despite my lack of being able to have an easy conception. He has encouraged me, despite my hard feelings on myself. He has always been positive about achieving our dreams, it just might take us longer, it's not going to be easy, but we have got this. 

On September 27th, 2011 we started our first round of IVF. The needles were daunting and I won't lie, I'm a needle-a-phob and they just down right sucked! Most of them burned, and more often than I care to admit I would end up in tears by the end of it. Thank God M is soo supportive and knows just the right things to say to get me through this. 

By the October 4, 2011, I was devastated with the news that my cycle was cancelled. My follicles had stopped growing - the simple protocol turned out to cause an allergic reaction and we were out. The encouragement that I once had was gone - I imagined we would only have to endure this once. Boy was I wrong! 

I won't lie when I say that infertility has its highs and lows. The lows are low, lower than I care to admit. My body was failing me time and time over again. This is the one thing that I was supposed to be able to do and for some reason I was unable. It wears you down. It makes it hard to get up out of bed in the morning because by the end of the day you are exhausted from pretending to be happy. Pretending to be happy is what pulled me through this, along with the support of our family and few friends who we told. 

It took quite some time to pick up the pieces. You go into these cycles believing that this is going to work - when things backfire you scramble to pick yourself up.

Part 2 - to be cont'd

High Five For Friday

I guess the biggest thing on my list for this week is being able to share our little secret!! Here it is again in case anyone missed it (you should probably read yesterday's post too) 

Thank you soo much for everyone's comments, excitement, prayers and support!! It means soo much!! 

On that news, my next thing on my list would be finding the baby's heartbeat at home with our doppler!! I swear every time I hear the heartbeat whether in the doctors office or now at home, my eyes well up with tears! 

Number 3 would be my Mom is gone to the cottage with my Aunt for the weekend!! As much as I love having her here, I'm looking forward to this mini break! I know she will be going home soon, and she is doing soo much better!! 

Number 4 will be a Jazz update- who is this cat? She is soo laid back now and HAPPY!! Can she stay on these pills forever!! She loves me again!! Truth be - grumpy cat must have figured out I was pregnant because that is when the peeing began!! Which isn't hard to believe since she used to be my shadow. They say pets know... Well she nailed that one!! 

Number 5 will be that it's the weekend and its actually supposed to get warm!! Yay!! Mikes in a ball tournament this weekend but we are going to hit up Babies R Us this weekend to get me a pregnancy pillow!! Hopefully that will help me sleep! 

Thanks again for all of your kind words!! They mean soo much!! Have a great weekend!! 

Miracle On Board

It's true!! We have waited 4+ years to be able to announce this and we are over the moon blessed with a true miracle!!

We are pregnant!!! 

After dealing with infertility for 4 years, I often feared that this would never happen for us! The odds were against us. But our miracle couldn't have come at a better time! 

We were gearing up for our 4th round of IVF, priming my system with Clomid and sure enough we found ourselves pregnant!! Our doctor is still in shock that this actually worked! I will talk more about our journey soon, let's move on to the fact that there is a sweet little miracle growing away inside of me!! 

When am I due? March 9, 2014

How am I feeling? Not a stitch of sickness... Knock on wood! I've felt a bit nauseous a few times, but mainly in the car. No complaints! 

When did we find out? Technically June 28 2013, but I didn't believe it so we tested again on the 29th and sure enough 3 tests later it was official!! Best Canada Day long weekend EVER!!! 

Can't wait to share this journey with you all!! 

 

What I Am Loving

Big shout out to my sister today!!! Happy Birthday!!! Hope you have a great day celebrating!!

Yesterday was my Grandma's 92nd Birthday and my BFF Sarah's. And Monday was M's birthday! It has literally been a week of birthdays sooo far!

I love how much Jazz has been coming around! The pills are working! She is a happy cat!! I didn't realize how much I have missed her snuggles.

It has been soo cold out lately! I swear it is the end of September not mid-August. This weather could snap back to the warm side anytime!

It was great spending the later afternoon/evening with my family including my Grandma of course last night! It was great getting a chance to catch up with her and share some of the things going on in our life with her.

The restaurant in the village is opening yet again!! I am actually pretty excited about this! Nothing like a local watering hole to support. It will be soo convenient come M's late season and we need an easy dinner, or grabbing drinks or apps with friends without having to drive into town!! Oh and its just around the corner!!

My Mom is staying with my Aunt for the day, so that will give me a chance to get things caught up around the house, walk the dogs, relax, etc.

Things are just pretty exciting around these neck of the woods!!! I don't think I have felt soo content with my life in a long time!!!

Happy Birthday Mike!!

Today is Mike's official 30th Birthday!!! However on the weekend is when I planned his surprise birthday!

We almost pulled it off!! He said there were a few little things that made him wonder including a text on my phone before I was able to lock it. Then our first plan to get him out of the house back fired so he had an inkling then. Then M took him golfing, completely confused him so Mike was sure nothing was going on, which was great until he drove home and saw his Dads truck down in the ball park! 

I sucked at taking pictures, I did manage to take a picture of the cake, but that is it! 

But I completely used Pinterest for my decorating plans! Here is what went on:

PIN

 

PIN

 

I used pool floats to put snacks in, and put ice in the bottom of the ones I needed to keep cool. I personally used boats.

 

We had a candy bar full of Mike's Favorites.

 

Here is the cake that my sisters neighbour brought!! It was soo good!!!

 

 

Overall it was a great party with friends and family!

 

We ended the night with a bon fire.

 

Yesterday we had a super lazy day. I may have had a jammie day!!

 

 

Happy Birthday Mike!!! I look forward to seeing what your 30th year has in store!! I have a feeling that something amazing is on its way ;) Love you to the moon and back!!!

 

 

 

 

Long Weekend!

I'm going to apologize again for my lack of blogging! Life has been super busy now with my Mom staying with us! 

I picked her up on Thursday. She went to my sisters for the weekend while M and I headed to the lake! 

We had a great weekend on the boat, although it was chilly! I swear the evenings feel like September, not August!! 

It was a nice weekend away since life is far from easy right now with having my Mom here. We are adjusting though and she seems to be improving every day! 

I'm also in the process of planning a SURPRISE 30th Birthday for M for this Saturday! Everything is on plan except I need to find a new way of getting him out of the house! We are working on that! But I think this party is going to be a lot of fun no matter what!! I just have a few more days to keep it under wraps!! 

So hopefully I will get back on here this week, depending on how things go. Hope everyone had a great weekend!!