oooh. by the way, thanks esthie for suggesting a pink zen. i think there is pink lah, in the collection of zen colors... lol. though i am more open to pink stuff nowadays, like buying pink rubber bands for tying hair, and certain pink stuff somewhere (you know how bad my memory is, i don't remember exactly what lah), but carrying something pink everyday? haha. my same old reaction will be "what?!? pink??? yikes."
today is an expensive day. as much as i don't wanna spend too much, i ended up spending a lot. i have made a calculation, about 30 bucks spent today. oops, live on maggie mee for the next few days. or dun eat, haha can slim down huh.
so far on my to do list, i have went out with wei2 and al, uni friends, repaired zen, cleaned my room. not bad, roughly mostly can do one all done. haha, i really dun mind another week of holiday before working, so i shan't try too hard to find a job. =P
a side note to dear esthie, do let me know what prezzie you want, so i can save up and buy. dun tell me taz, i will peng.
okie. somehow going out whole day seems quite tiring. aiyoh, my mum also these few days pms... weird weird one, i better stay at home like a doll and wait for her to come home everyday. haven't 10pm she call me liao, scary. came home overheard her talking, like displeased with dunno which of her siblings over something over my grandma. aiyah, i thot only my dad's family got problem. haa.
somehow giving birth to too many kids isn't too good. both my dad and mum has 7 siblings. my dad's family, most of them don't really care about my grandma when she was still alive... see her in hospital yes lah, but medical stuff or what also like heck care... i bet my grandma was sadz. just like sj too many people in charge of the same thing, some people will start to slack off and heck, leaving the work to one of the few who are hardworking. just that in that case there was no kinship involved. haha, my mum's side, i thought they all quite filial lah, also dunno why this time, my grandma need to go for operation then my mum a bit buay song who and who. maybe it's just the normal female complaining and gossiping thingy.
oh, and my friend was telling me she went to new creation church and it was really good. haha. somehow nowadays i am even less willing to go liao. i think i am destined to remain a free thinker. but good for her i think, she really needs that support from God sometimes. at least she found a direction in life, or rather, learn to move on lah despite many unhappy stuff.
sometimes when you are really depressed already, discouraged, for quite some time and unable to pick yourself up from it, then it's perhaps a sign that you need a religion. actually to me any religion is fine, as long as it helps u and gives you strength (or whatever you call it), though i believe more in Christianity, perhaps cos' I was brought up in a Christian primary school. but throughout my life, i have reached a conclusion that religion is just something that you can turn to when you have things unexplained, when you are down, perhaps many with religion will disagree with me on that. ultimately, if you do nothing, i think however much God wants to help you, it's pointless. so it depends on yourself to overcome whatever barrier, and only after that you will become stronger.
haha, and i was watching Naruto vcd these few days, for people who dunno, Naruto is a guy in this comic that never gives up, constantly seeking recognition from everyone that he is a good ninja. he's quite inspiring in the way that he never gives up, no matter what happens.
which brings me to think about: who can actually never be discouraged, even if you seem to be the worse scorer in class, and is able to pick yourself up again and again, to continue trying and trying till you are at the top? it may sound easy, but i have never been at the very bottom, nor at the very top. i would think it is really tough, because someday the confidence you have in yourself will drop, especially if you tried very hard and keep failing. that is something that is something that i never experienced before, and i also dunno how to encourage my friend who tried very hard and failed. it's quite saddening to see that your efforts didn't pay off. all i could say is, look on the bright side, something good happens after all, it's not all bad. doesn't really sound convincing also. that's why i really really pei fu people who climbed from the bottom, all the way to the top. like i have a friend who got less than 200 in PSLE, and she is now in the same course as me, scoring as good or better than me in the A lvls. i think she's really amazing.
for those people who were always at the top for academics, think about these people. are you as good as them? if you were in their shoes, will you be able to climb to the top like them. i thought about it, i think i won't be able to do it. not with my current confidence and determination lvl.
so many interesting things about life, isn't it?
