432

spent my last day of freedom teaching 3 sec4 classes about global industrial shift ._.

but well it was fun I guess.

and I confiscated 3 iphones! but seriously if you want to sms don't do it in a class of 10 people zzz. anyway I returned them at the end of the lesson cos my classes ended at 330 and then I had to do all the exit clearance stuff anyway. so no more staff pass T.T

so going in tomorrow. and somehow I'm kinda scared.
of what I don't know really.

but maybe it's cos well once you go into tekong you know you're never gonna come out the same ever again.
and maybe cos yeah this is really the end of life as a student as I know it.
it's been 7 long years already. (well fine 6 and a quarter but whatever). and perhaps a part of me doesn't really want it to end.

but life goes on I guess. or rather it has to.
like how I have to go into tekong at 11am tomorrow. and spend 4 months there. meh.

so yeah spent quite a bit of today running around school returning stuff and getting my exit clearance done ._.

feels weird walking through the canteen / to marymount for the last time in a very very very long time. sigh.

and very stupidly waited until today to bring all the papers from my desk home so I very nearly died carrying everything home ><

and ironically enough I'm feeling sick now. bleh.

I don't want to leave school bleh. kinda got a reprive 3 months ago but now it's time already I guess. ah well. maybe I'll be back ._.

anyway hmm what's been happening - basically been going out for very many lunches / dinners with people the previous week lol.

oh yeah A level results came out last friday. did well enough I guess.


ok who am I kidding I did much better than I expected zzz. although I think everyone else expected me to do well lol.

anyway yeah so on friday I took over shu and wenyun's classes cos they both didn't want to come to school whereas for me I dunno I find that going in to classes takes my mind off results (and really I stopped worrying until about 12+ lol).

mock geotrail on saturday went rather well I must admit. although it was bloody hot.
then after that went with the team to marina bay to poke around. wasn't exactly a waste of time I guess. and it was interesting looking around the place and talking to them. and this batch is a lot nicer than the previous one. but more dysfunctional sigh.

ah well not my problem anymore.

so yeah spent the whole day out on sat and kinda exhausted my ezlink card. I hate adult fares.

hmm so yeah everything's over now. so well I hope I did a decent job with the chemO people. well at least I had fun with them. but they keep dying at my test questions so I wonder what's going wrong. oh dear.

and hmm I've like taken over / traumatised the following geog classes already - 2J, 2P, 2Q, 3F (for 10 minutes since they were all late and there was a staff lunch), 3H (twice), 3K, 3P, 4AB, 4RA (with shu), 4G, 4H and 4J lol. and last friday I had 2Q and 3H back to back interestingly enough. so I've taught 4 levels in 2 months!

and since I'm really bad with faces there are always random students saying hi to me whenever I walk through RI lol. and I have no idea who they are ._. and today's classes were asking me about my results so after that I got congratulated a few times by random people as well.

which was funny. and nice.

ah well time to go pack I guess. or at least start packing and finishing tomorrow. and time to send long emails to people zzz.


so I guess this is going to be the last post in a very long time then. if not forever.

and yay this blog has been in existence since 07 I never knew.
ah well. see you eventually (if anyone's even reading this).

but then I get this feeling there are some people I'll never ever see again. meh.
that's life I guess.

(gosh this is damn emo but whatever I'm going into tekong tomorrow so I guess it's justified ugh).

fourthirtyone

I really need to learn how to let go.
blah.

12 (effectively 11) days more. so I guess I'll be forced to stop then I think.
but right now well today was like the first time this week I got home while it was still light lol.

been staying in school until like 9.30/8/7/8.30/6 this entire week. doing what I also dunno.

but maybe it's cos I'm like going in so soon hence this is like my last gasp of productivity lol. like how we all work best with some deadline fast approaching or whatever.

so yeah have been spending like 4-5 hours every day on chem eww.
well fine maybe less if you consider all the time I spend eating / walking around the canteen / walking over to RI to talk to people. but still considerable. and since my desk (or rather my laptop) faces out to the aisle where all the teachers walk it's very hard for me to slack. or rather I feel guilty if I'm slacking.
blah.

if only I were this hardworking last year.
oh well.


anyways hmm monday evening was spent training sec4s for geog. they're a decent bunch I guess. and much less irritating than the previous batch. but hmm I wonder how they'll do for prelims tomorrow. and actually I was intending to go down and watch them but I think I'm way too sleep-deprived right now and I really can't be bothered to drag myself down to NUS at 730 tomorrow. and really not much point in going down anyway since well I won't get to follow them through the geoad/geotrail phase of the thing I guess.

tuesday I can't remember why I stayed back in school. or what I did. oh dear. but I know I did get my hair cut on my way home. cos it was getting long. but then again it's going to be all gone in 12 days so it doesn't really matter. lol. I have no idea.

wednesday went home kinda early-ish after CCA (why I go I also have no idea).

thursday stayed in school to prepare slides for TM sessions next week. but since the school was too cheap to give us tablets and google image search isn't very useful and since I don't have a soft copy of shriver I ended up having to abscond with shu's after she was done with her lessons instead. hence me having to stay back very late to finish the slides / diagrams. but at least fun stuff happened in the staffroom then so yeah it wasn't that bad.

friday (i.e. today) managed to leave school at 6 after finishing chemO training at 530ish. but then again I wasn't even doing training I kinda got hongen to take over for me. oops.

and I should really stop eating staffroom biscuits for dinner 3 nights out of 5.
but then again I'm too lazy to walk to j8 to get dinner and the train's too crowded and expensive anyway. hmm.


but yeah I need to schedule a whole bunch of farewell dinners next week so I guess I should be eating better then lol.


and strangely enough it doesn't feel like I have 11 more days - seems much shorter than that. maybe cos those 11 days are packed enough already as is. blah.


ah well we'll see how things go then. now just left to wrap everything up and finish whatever I need to do before I go in.

like maybe scholarship apps oops.

#430

I'm typing this post from a very crowded serangoon library. and it's really a dismal place. ugh.

anyway how'd I end up here hmm - went to school way too early in the morning to train sec4s for geog competitions. but then they were all late so we only kinda started at 8.40 or so. then that took the whole morning so finished at 12+. but then again we spent a lot of time slacking around and talking so there.

but then again this batch seems somewhat nicer than the previous one. lol. anyway after that since in the end none of them were going for lunch I went back into the staffroom and intended to work on chem before going to serangoon to watch tinker tailor this evening with bessie/stacey/yinan/brenda.

but then it seemed that the entire RJ network was down so I couldn't even get online and whatnot. so in the end I gave up and went to nex early to book tickets (since the seats seemed to be running out already and we'd already shifted the meeting from orchard since lido was almost fully booked already).

and it's also quite ridiculous that only shaw released tinker tailor and only in 2 cinemas at that.

oh and I was hungry.

anyway thus went down to serangoon and walked around the place. then eventually settled on lunch. and finished it in 10 minutes. so decided to go to the library and stone for the next 3 hours. and therefore here I am.

and I'm kinda bored of my book so I'm like blogging now. zzz.

and nex is really a hellhole on weekends / on any day really since the design is frankly just terrible. ugh.

and it's too bloody crowded as well.

okay enough ranting.


hmm so anyway I just realised I have about 3 more weeks before I go into tekong.
damn.

been spending most of my time these few weeks in school - training j2s for IChO selection. and really I'm getting paid too little for it lor. since they're paying me 65/day for a 5.5h workday but then I'm always in school at 730 and usually leave only at 5. hmm.

but then again it's not like I spend most of my time actually doing work since the staffroom is way too cold and I get way too bored and always end up walking around the canteen instead. or walking over to RI to talk to shu / wenyun / OWL (who're all teaching geog there hmm).

but then I still do spend a considerable / disproportionate amount of time on prep. since I make my own slides / problem sets / answer keys. and I have to type all the formulae and whatnot with mathtype since I don't have anything better. and mathtype is a pain to use. which is why most of the time I end up writing out the answers and then just zapping for them.

so I've used about an entire tree's worth of paper just trying out problems and solving them (or failing to solve them) and my desk right now is a total mess. lol.

but at least now they're doing organic so I can get hongen to do most of the work for me. while I slack.

although I do have another series of sessions on TM in week 9 which probably means I ought to be re-reading shriver / cotton instead of stuff like random fiction I find in the library (like what I'm intending to do after this assuming I don't get bored of it hmm). but there's still time I guess.

and we're having a test on take 5! since that's like the only time we can get all 10 of the j2s together for a 2hr stretch. lol.

and did you know take5's in school this year? but then it's not like I actually did anything when it was at sentosa apart from sit in some marginally cooler spot and try not to melt and like wait until we were dismissed. hmm.

and they (council) put ridiculous NE stuff on the back of the take5 shirts this year. and they changed the colour of the 'play' on the front to red. ew.

and they're bringing in the SAF / SCDF / SPF to put stuff up in school as well. urgh.

and speaking of council hmm did some orientation crashing this year but I thought it was quite bleh. and not very well-planned either. as expected. for example final night was just fail since the AV kinda messed up at the front bit so no one heard what storyline was saying. then as per tradition there's the orientation-name-at-the-front-of-the-parade-square-set-on-fire thing. but this year they wanted llc to only light one of the letters and then get *councillors* to light the others. so anyway theme this year was istoria so they asked llc to light the I. but no she decided to go to the middle and light the R instead. so the emcees were very confused. so everyone watched the R almost burn out before council realised what was going on and continued getting the rest of the people to light their respective letters. maybe they were reallocating the letters I have no idea.

and then institution anthem apparently council gave someone on the parade square a mic to sing along and since it was cordless there was a lag between the singing and the actual music and therefore it sounded very very bad. and laicheng looked very pissed off. and unite was damn soft as usual.

and after final night the council teachers (all of whom had to stay back in school for the whole of final night, poor things) went around chasing all the OGs out of school. but then they let the OGLs stay as long as they wanted. i.e. like past 10pm. and it's not like they were cleaning up or anything but just staying in the canteen talking / making noise / doing stupid council stuff. which meant that you'd have a bunch of OGs waiting 2hrs+ at places like j8 while their OGLs take their time to get there. tsk.

yeah so that was orientation from my point of view. so sue me.

and this year's j1s are ... - like some of them are already mugging for SATs. and they always get up to the parade square like before the first (7.40) bell rings ._. so they get to watch all the staff (i.e. me as well how interesting) take their time getting on until the 2nd bell (7.45) sounds for the actual start of assembly. zzz. and back in my time we'd just stay in the canteen way past the first bell lol.

crap I feel damn old now.
and walking around nex so reminded me of last year when we were all going for the rallies and whatnot during GE season.
and can't believe that was only in like what may it seemed how long ago.

and now almost everyone in class who hasn't fled the country is in tekong already. but some of those who've fled are coming back! zzz. so right now facebook and msn are total wastelands and my contact list is just empty. and I'm so freaking bored.

but then again I'm like going into tekong in 3 weeks as well. shit.

yeah anyway back to the point well so much has changed this year already. and I miss school. even though I still go back every weekday (and sometimes on weekends as well ahem). but it's not the same going back in very irritating long-sleeved shirts and pants and horrible black shoes that aren't very good for walking (considering how much walking I do and how fast I usually walk) and with a tag on your belt that lets you into all sorts of interesting places. hmm.

and apparently some teacher complained to wty that I let the staff lounge door slam in her face instead of holding it open for her.

oh dear.


ah well very soon I'm going to disappear as well.
and back to my book now I guess.

edit: and I hope the internet's working again on monday else I'm so not going to get any work done. I think it's cos RI just set up a whole new intranet called Sophia and Stamford (with an m not n lol. and yeah I'm not kidding those really are the names) - like you can see the posters all over school if you look hard enough - and yeah maybe they kicked me/hongen off the network. since we don't even have email accounts or access to anything. zzz.

but then again it's not like it's a very good idea to give me access to sharing. so there.

fourtwentynine

ok I'm blogging again!

maybe cos I'm really bored. since msn is like effectively a wasteland right now. and fb is being flooded with photos of orientation. ew.

anyway hmm I've been reading my old posts again. and I realised some of them are actually very emo. ugh.

but interesting I also found this:
THINGS TO DO AFTER GEOPOL / CHEM O ENDS [in order of the likelihood that I'll actually do them]
- watch return of the king
- rearrange urban package (to get rid of the useless readings)
- FILE all my notes (since my bag is asploding again. and I think I need a separate file for h3 and h2 chem)
- do something about my physical geog notes (which somehow got bound when OWL was zapping them)
- SLA spatial challenge!
- read atmo, weather and climate (good book but damn dry so I keep getting bored of it plus I don't even have any time)
- read urban geog book (ditto)
- play a lot more bridge
- start thinking about uni apps
- scholarship apps?
- read the (short) list of fiction that I've put on my phone to remind myself to borrow (eventually)
- write proper human geog notes

and surprisingly enough the only thing I've done in this list is SLA.
oh fine actually I did filing as well but that was only this year i.e. long after it would have been useful.

oh dear.

well maybe cos I ended up getting distracted by things like IChO. and then prelims. and then As. and then uni apps which were / are a total disaster. zzz.
and the list of fiction is actually still lying on my phone but I still haven't gotten around to reading anything on it. sigh.


anyway yay it's 2012 already. and I only have 30 days before I disappear off the face of this earth (i.e. into tekong). crap. so really like right now I can't actually be bothered to do much since well after all nothing much is going to matter anymore for the next two years. sigh.

also the whole 2012 thing hasn't really hit. maybe cos I haven't had much reason to write the date at all. so I think sometimes I'm still writing 2011 even though it's already february.

so well last year actually was quite crazy. like at the start with geopol at NUS every friday (can't believe that was less than a year ago - now it seems like an entirely different time altogether) and stuff like skipping GP every friday and going down together with the entire geopol gang to NUS and then dinner at vivo every friday as well after that lol. and then there was still IChO trainings at NUS every wednesday as well! so my term 1 was really quite horrible back then.

then term 2 geopol finally ended and after IChO selection (which I thought I messed up) well I spent most of that time slacking / recovering. and then came the results of the selection and then off to more chem already. and so much mugging/slacking and even after that I still hate organic and can't do it either.

so after that one well term 3 and turkey. which was really fun. but pity I didn't enjoy myself that much since I spent too much time worrying about the thing / not having mugged enough (and I definitely didn't). and in the end it all turned out not to matter and we all got screwed over by pract. lol. so in retrospect I really should have tried to enjoy myself more. and now I'm regretting things already. oh dear.

then back from turkey and well off to prelims. which were like the first exams I took in the year. lol. and along came uni apps and way too much time spent in block H level 1M. and then As which really seemed so no different from prelims hmm. and I've kinda forgotten what happened then already.

argh my memory is going.


so that was very briefly 2011.
and I was so intending to write more about it but then 1 I'm sleepy and 2 this post should have been written a month ago so I've like kinda forgotten most of what I was intending to say already.

ok I feel sleepy. shall maybe update again some other time when I'm bored again.
which should be quite soon considering how little there is to do right now. zzz.

428

spent I think the last 4 days slacking after my job ran out.

lol.

don't exactly have any idea what I'm going to write here since really the only reason why I'm typing is cos 1 I don't feel like sleeping right now 2 I've run out of things to do already and 3 haven't posted in more than a week.

spent the past few days on stuff like 9gag / cracked.com / nytimes.com and other online stuff. reading.

need to get a few good books to read I guess. and actually get down to reading them. and use my 2-year-old kino voucher.

but thing is well when I read what I tend to do is skim. which can cause me to miss entire sentences / paragraphs (seriously). which is bad.

and I have no appreciation for lit or good writing or whatever you call it. so I mainly read stuff with interesting plots .-.

which frustrates some people to no end.


I'm shallow like that ok?


so anyway kevin sim has been trying to get me to read stuff like dickens and I'm like ew no way. although I might try sth like jane austen / one of the brontës if I'm really that bored. lol. but probably won't get much out of it.

anyway finished fellowship and two towers in 4 days. yay.

but couldn't start on return of the king before I had to return the books to the SFL. even though I think I had the time / could have finished it (except for the appendices though).

(yeah the last books I borrowed from the school library were tolkien)

maybe cos it really isn't a very good idea to cram the first 2 books in 4 days. especially since how they're very dense and stuff (well to me at least). what's the word for it. rich? dunno. a lot of details. overwhelming (maybe?). I have no idea.

and also maybe cos I've read it so many times that I kinda know what's going to happen anyway. and was so tempted to skip / skim the entire of book 4 (i.e. the second half of the two towers) since it's bloody boring. but I didn't!

*reminds self that middle-earth doesn't really exist in the real world so stop trying to escape there or sth. you're stuck in singapore damnit.

ok rant over.


and speaking of books and stuff I am damn irritated that the movie based on one of john le carré's books (which I actually have read and liked quite a lot) is only being released in singapore in FEBRUARY NEXT YEAR. when it was like released in the UK in september and in the US a few days back (which is why I've read all the reviews on the relevant news sites already). and it's 86% on rotten tomatoes so it can't be bad.

although I think the movie doesn't do the plot justice since they compressed everything into 2 hours but whatever.

and also want to watch the muppets (97% on rotten tomatoes o.o).

eh wait it just got released in singapore. how interesting. I was somehow under the impression that it was only coming out in january. but whatever.

ok I think I shall go watch it tomorrow with bessie.

yay found something to do.

ok I think this post is long enough.

and it's still vaguely school-related so I shall tag it as such. yay.

427 / the shadow of the past

re-reading tolkien again.
for I think the 4th or 5th time this year. lol.

4H gathering today.
which in my opinion didn't go very well.
maybe cos welras decided yesterday afternoon to meet up today. and then outsourced everything to me ._. so I didn't quite have the time to round everyone up and stuff.

so unsurprisingly only about a third of the class showed up. blah welras this is all your fault.


but then again I dunno at the same time it was rather disappointing not only because turnout was crappy but also maybe cos things weren't how I expected them to be anymore.

well fine more than that I think. more like there was something missing from today. spirit? I have no idea.

like I dunno everyone has changed way too much over the past 2 years and maybe they no longer are what they were like in sec4 when we left RI.

so perhaps I shouldn't have gone there expecting things to be as they were 2 years back.

and maybe with time I tend to forget all the bad stuff about people and only remember good / better things so like when everyone does actually meet up again and you realise that your impression of them / the way you remembered them no longer holds well things will definitely disappoint. blah.

so maybe I should stop complaining about my current class as well. and stop reminiscing about (romanticising?) stuff that has long gone and that will never ever happen again. no matter how hard we try.


people change too much with time.
and inevitably grow apart from each other.
we can't get things back the way they used to be anyway.
so really why dig stuff up and spoil things. hmm.

blah ok should stop emoing. and I realised I was very incoherent above.
and fine things aren't that bad lah some people are still the same as they used to be and still quite fun. but then I've (inevitably) grown distant with some others.
but I think class spirit is definitely gone. or at least things feel different now.

sigh.


and hm I think I'm gonna stop blogging once march 2012 comes around.
not like there's going to be anything very interesting happening after that lol.

wonder if I'll hit 500 posts by then.


and then may or may not continue in 2014 when I ORD.
hm.

426 / and if I never see you again

so it ended yesterday lol.

chem paper 1 didn't go very well. blah.
maybe cos I wasn't thinking much. or not reading questions properly. as usual.

but who cares everything's done!
doesn't quite feel like it though. maybe cos I've started slacking once GP / physical geog were over. lol.

yeah seriously spreading out papers over 4 weeks is quite irritating.

went for class dinner after chem. spent close to like 3hrs sitting in LJ and talking lol.

pity it was with the wrong class.

ahem.


anyway just realised when leaving school after chem / going home from dinner that well after yesterday and apart from one day in march next year it's very likely that there're going to be people whom I may never meet again for the rest of my life. what with NS and people heading off all over the world for uni - and since I really doubt there'll be a 2Q reunion (or for that matter a complete 4H reunion) to speak of in the future anyway. also there's no such thing as a S06 RA get-together right. lol. so odds are that well apart from the occasional fb status update here and there I won't really see some people anymore.

which is quite a scary thought.

but inevitable I guess.
but then one never really knows who you might bump into many many years down the road.

hopefully people still remember me though XD.


ok well now that As are over nothing much left to do I guess.
but wait.


seems like I keep spending my life waiting for things - application results, A level results, enlistment, ORD, uni - that just underwhelm when they actually do happen.

maybe I'm doing something wrong here. I don't know.

all this anticipation is really overrated.
and if you go read a few posts down about me talking about prelim results... well.

ahem.


ok I guess this is long enough and I'm running out of things to say anyway. blah.

so really all of you whom I've met in these 6 years in RI/RJ and who happen to chance upon this - well it's been nice knowing you. even if we don't see each other ever again (apart from march next year and then you never know since there are what 1200-odd people in the hall anyway so we might not even bump into each other then) hopefully you'll still remember me. lol.

but then again I think something we all fear is irrelevance - of being forgotten and cast aside / left behind - as the rest of the world goes on without us.
and the world's a pretty large place anyway. so how do we matter eh. thus I don't know if that kinda diminishes whatever I've said above. but I guess it's true I hope I've been able to at least leave people with something.

I don't know.

425

42 more hours.

really really really bored today. and yesterday. and the day before that.

so maybe that's why I'm blogging again.

spent the past few days reading very many articles off longform.org. which is actually a rather fun site. it's like a tumblr for feature articles and stuff. but rather US-centric though.

just that my eyes get tired after reading for very long. and it's rather irritating to scroll back 30-odd pages to get to the page where I last stopped.

no idea what to do now.
can really taste the freedom just waiting for me but then again I don't even know what I'm going to do with the next 3 months free.

really need to find something to do with my life.
lawrence suggests learning / taking up something. but knowing me I'll give up less than halfway in.

I'm too lazy already.

maybe I should get back to playing emerald on vba. but thing is the previous game that I started got wiped when my com died in october so don't really feel like starting all over again lol.

listening to dire straits on youtube again.
can't decide if that or journey's better lol.

speaking of being lazy I know I should stop using it as an excuse to not do things. and really put myself to doing actual work for once. but. I'm too lazy. XD

and I have this feeling being lazy is nature's way of levelling the playing field lor.

...
who am I kidding really.

oh just realised I haven't checked cracked.com today.


and I realised in like 2 days time I can't really tag all my posts as school anymore. XD

424

and it's over!

well almost. no more writing at least. lol.

and I can so taste the freedom ahead.
well fine actually I was so slacking ever since last week. oops.

like only started mugging for human geog at like what 5pm last night. lol. but whatever it's over! and hopefully I did myself justice on the paper.

wasn't quite satisfied with my answers though. but then again I hardly ever am. so whatever.

can't believe that like 11 papers are gone and there're just 2 left. wonder how I even made it through these 3 weeks lol.

and seriously the papers are way too spread out. but whatever.

no idea what I'm gonna do post-As though.
hm.

I feel sleepy.

423

no more math for the next 2 years!
8 more papers left.

math was kinda fun actually.
and somehow my paper 1 went a lot better than paper 2.
maybe cos I was kinda falling asleep while trying to do p2. and the questions were rather irritating so somehow felt like giving up halfway. which was weird.

so I ended up sketching the same graph 4 times cos I kept messing up the sketch. and then did integration 4 times as well since my algebra kept failing and I kept losing track of my - signs. so yeah took about 1h30 for pure math in paper 2 ._.
(well at least in the end I think I did get everything correct there. I hope.)

but messed up q12 due to misreading and not really thinking properly. maybe cos I so wanted the paper to end.

slacked the whole of yesterday. oops.
and I'm going for camp tomorrow. like before physics. oh dear.


ok time to memorise stupid definitions. and hope the paper's as easy as our prelims lol.

422

two more gone, ten left.

GP was a complete disaster.

didn't know what I was writing for my essay.

hopefully the bell curve saves me - but then seeing how AQ and summary were very straightforward I wonder what'll happen.

and interestingly the more math I do the worse I get.

blah. back to vectors.

421/the beginning of the end

one down; twelve more to go.

and I only started mugging yesterday!

but I realised my exam timetable is very nice I don't have any days with double papers (except GP of course).

maybe that's why I've been slacking so much.

but then again chem today wasn't half bad - and was actually rather fun.
like the tough / irritating questions were more than balanced out by the very very easy ones. lol.

so yeah maybe I shouldn't have worried so much.

now for GP tomorrow. and I think I'm falling sick. bleh. and I realised I haven't done any GP since august.

hopefully the questions are nice to me tomorrow.

everyone's telling me not to worry for GP, that I'll do fine etc. - maybe I will. and everyone was telling me to not worry for chem either XD
and I don't really feel like cramming trivia now. blah. and you can't really mug for GP I guess. just go in calm enough and things should work out fine.

yeah but the problem is going in with a calm mind / clear head. lol. especially since I think I'm falling sick. blah why does this keep happening with every major exam this year lol.

sigh most probably gonna sleep in 30 min or something.


but hmm chem marks really the beginning of the end of JC / school life in general. part of me still can't quite fathom that I've already gotten to this stage - that now everything's over and all that's left is this final final final stretch - that our education system's supposed to have led us to. (well of course it isn't the be all and end all of everything but it's still important ENOUGH. although less important than prelims imo lol). and even kevin sim has taken to scaring me about my A level grades since I've been slacking so much ._.

but really quite surprised that after all these 6 years in RI/RJ I'm finally here - at the end. and so not quite ready for what comes next.

oh dear.

but well one down 12 more to go.

420

hmm haven't posted in very long.
and I realise I've got nothing to do tonight / tomorrow / sunday / monday / tuesday / wednesday.

so maybe that's why I'm writing blogging now.

hmm so what happened - "farewell" assembly was exactly a week ago. real lessons ended what a week before that.

and before we know it we're hurtling towards As and NS and the other 3/4ths of our lives already. as astee pointed out in the last chem lecture.

and I'm still feeling totally unprepared / not ready to face up to these things.
and still can't quite believe that like my time in our education system is almost over.

time passes too quickly - can still remember my first day in RI. and in RJ. (can't quite remember most of the lessons in sec1 / j1 though). and really I still haven't wrapped my mind around the fact that it's been 6 years already.

doesn't quite seem/feel like it. and it still hasn't really sunk in yet.


oh well. enough of boring stuff already. and I suspect I'm becoming rather incoherent. which is why I'm so not a writer just a mere blogger.

and speaking of writing my admissions essays are proving to be rather disastrous.
somehow I can't seem to write those deep / insightful / multi-layered (?) essays that everyone else has been churning out. but then again it's not like I particularly enjoy reading them. especially since after the 10th one or so they all seem all too similar already. and I usually end up giving up after the 2nd paragraph or so when reading them. or I need to re-read the things twice or thrice since they all get pretty boring and very dense as things move along. but then again I'm not a very good writer and as ks puts it I have no literary skill whatsoever.

and I so agree since I only read plot-driven novels and nothing much else.
oops.

but yeah somehow I find myself rather unable to write anything vaguely resembling these things - perhaps I'm too obtuse / direct / whatever. I'm guessing the problem with me is that I tend to see things as they are and nothing much more (maybe that's why I could never get lit) - which is proving to be very irritating right now when I'm supposed to write essays with personal voice and whathaveyou. and I have no idea how to get this bloody thing across. thus I really wonder if I can get anything out by the 1st. of january next year.

or I might as well go NUS. or somewhere in the UK where they don't really care so much about your essays. blah. I'm too lazy already.

anyway apart from that nothing much else - school's incredibly boring nowadays. and my timetable has been extremely empty as well. mainly cos I can't be bothered to start on revision. and I've been skipping all the mock papers I've signed up for. oops.

but on the brighter side of things I've been eating a lot / going all over the place for lunch and sometimes dinner these few weeks. lol. and I've all but given up on clearing NAPFA anyway. and speaking of NS they still haven't given me a PES status yet even though my PES D only lasts until 4/10. and I went for the medical checkup on the 11th (and did you know MINDEF pays 300 bucks for every single scan they have us undergo thanks to the wonky ECG machine in CMPB) and wasted 3 hours or so. and they didn't find anything wrong (as expected). but thanks to government efficiency I'm guessing CMPB still doesn't know anything so if this keeps up I get to go in in march. and if I feel like clearing NAPFA next year I can enter in may. lol.

but also on the 11th I think I went to yishun for the first time in my life. didn't quite like the place though. but the weather was nice.

anyway I should really start mugging soon. but then again there's always the power of the bell curve plus there are no numbers on your result slip for As anyway. or notice board outside the SAC.

lol.

ok I think this post is of a sufficient enough length.
and I'm getting bored of writing typing as well. hm.