and i'll love you for a thousand more♥

Received a reminder today that one special birthday is coming up and how I wish I were there to celebrate it with the only boy in my life that stole my heart right from the very start. I miss playing cars and cooking and play fights where we all fall down (and die) and running around till I feel older than I could ever feel. This to you, you who has made more difference in my life than I could ever imagine and darling you have no idea how much I love you and how much I'll love you forever.

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Its been a bit far off from a smooth-sailing journey so far for us you know, minor waves crashing but pretty much a straight course. Rapids are up ahead though and while I'm glad we're sailing this together, I can't help but wonder if we'll crash and burn faster and harder than we'd think.

I am impressed and slightly wowed by how things have worked out, love is such a funny thing and it comes in so many different forms don't you think? I've found out things about myself I never actually realised till you came along, I found friends whose opinions mattered more than I thought, things that were actually important to me kind of fell right in place, especially once I touched back down in the land down under.

Its been a good two weeks back and while I'm feeling a touch rebellious, I know where my priorities lie.

empty promises waiting to be filled ♥

 

I'll admit its slightly worrying. Despite this urge to fight the world (slightly rebellious, I know) and to prove the world wrong, I too know the risk is high. Still some little thing somewhere makes me want to try. How serious, I don't know. After all, time is still an important factor and the weeks that have passed, no matter how blissful, don't give much of an indicator. 

It is surprisingly how much of what I said overlaps with what my own parents said (before they said it), which probably goes to show that rational thoughts haven't left me yet. Hopefully its a good sign. I wonder though, would this reaction have been different if it had been someone else?

Sure, circumstances are terrible, nothing seems to potentially work out thought the feeling is there. How much of this is real, I don't know either. But I'm tired of getting shot down and I'm tired of being numb and running the risk of getting hurt but definitely after having fun seems like a big draw right now.