each story a lesson♥

Each person is a living story for us to appreciate and gain from. I honestly tire of people who think they are above you or don't see you as a person (and I'm not even talking about equals), thinking they are better than you, or that perhaps because of your age or physical stature, you aren't as important as another, perhaps smarter,better-looking or better-endowed person. Its not that much effort to be humble enough to see each person as someone you can learn from and really, its your loss if you choose to think that the person is an idiot or beneath you. So what if they aren't as qualified or aren't as rich? That you should be better off in certain areas doesn't necessarily make you a better person. Even the weirdest people can teach you the keenest of lessons. Ironically we in Singapore live to be educated, but are least educated in the areas which are the most important. Take for example, the difference in importance of a friendship or a job? Maybe now I'd say friendship but to others, sometimes the job would take precedence. Frankly I don't ever want to become that kind of person, that kind of adult in the future although sometimes its hard to make the right choices.

I also realise that I am guilty (as of every average teenager) of having talked back, argued with and generally pissed my parents off in just about every way possible (save drugs, sex, and crime in general). And been equally pissed off when they scold me, fight with me and also piss me off in every other way possible by rubbing me up the wrong way. Yet now I've come to think of it in another light (after that moment of frustration and annoyance), that I really am lucky to have my parents around to fight with and to piss each other off. Sometimes I hear people talking about not wanting to go see their grandparents, or not liking their grandparents or their ways and it really really bugs me. You just want to go up and tell them that they should be so lucky they have grandparents around for them, to love them and care so much about them that they come off as being overprotective to the point of irritating on certain occasions. Because some people want that, and they don't have that. And they'd give anything to be you except that if they were, they'd do things differently. You have that opportunity and you're just going to waste it by complaining and distancing yourself until the distance becomes permanent.

After all you don't know how much things mean to you until you've lost them.

Funny how life works, that you can't choose your family and you can't choose where you're born into or where you'll grow up in. But given a choice despite the prospects of being richer, more relaxed, prettier or whatever, I wouldn't choose another home or another family. Sure all that would be great to have. Like someone I met recently said, Money can't buy you happiness but it usually can buy the things you lack that can make you happy. So money definitely helps. And well, love - got that down, stress- we'll learn to deal with it, looks- aren't everything though it'd be good to have. I mean, I could have had been born in a perfect family, golden spoon in my mouth, looks and smarts to boot but where would be the fun in that? My parents aren't perfect and neither am I but I wouldn't choose otherwise because even though every child will say this, as I grow older I truly believe that my parents really are the best. I had a childhood (and a damn good one at that), not that very sheltered a life, relatively enough money to buy good stuff to pamper oneself once a while at least, and pretty much everything a kid could need. What more could I ask for? (ok maybe less nagging but I suppose thats partly my own fault for letting the inner slob in me out)

Of course, having the typical stubborn pride that seems to run in this family, I'd never tell them that.

in moments like these♥

Sometimes you find yourself being pulled in different directions and you just need someone t pull you back, tell you its okay. People don't always convey what they mean correctly and good intentions can always be interpreted wrongly. Sometimes you don't mean what you say and people get the wrong message. Like how concern can simply translate to make someone feel inadequate, like they fall short of expectations.

How do you expect to see overnight success? Problems don't disappear overnight. Neither does talking about them make things go away immediately. Wouldn't it then be better to instead of pretending that the problem didn't exist in the first place? To sweep it under the carpet, to make light of it without seeing whats behind that- doesn't that come across as a worse way of dealing with things? And it doesn't make one feel any better either does it?

Friends need to see beyond the exterior.

because you don't know how much it hurts when you don't see what im trying to tell you and have to courage to speak out loud.

friends♥

Since each episode is only about 20 minutes, I've started from the first season. And I've fallen drastically, desperately in love with the show. This one's from The One Where Rachel Finds Out. I've got to say, unfortunately I do realise that this is a total possibility that will happen to me if a scenario like that where love actually happens occurs in reality. But it will really be sad if she doesn't know, isn't that right? I really feel that a guy who can be totally upfront about it and tell her that he seriously likes her is someone I'd probably respect and possibly be attracted to. I guess its simply because the fact that he'd risk rejection and have the courage to ask her and not go about it in a roundabout way shows determination, how much he wants it to work out and decisiveness. Or maybe thats just the naive way of seeing things.

If the heart's on holiday and logic is still around, the only reason is hormones that which should not be working, actually are. Either way, reason should overrule everything in theory, isn't that right? So, to make it happen in actuality. Mind over matter.

You cannot generalise that which is highly unique and personal and yet between people there are similarities which makes generalisation totally possible(do you see a flaw in this logic?) and yet impossible.

Sometimes I feel like, you know, all you want is for the person to be happy but obviously you see that they aren't truly happy and you can't help them which makes you feel all the more useless than ever.

point blank♥

You don't always walk along the same paths people do, or maybe sometimes you're just walking in parallel. But sooner or later your paths will cross with others and I suppose, therein lies the crux of human relations, to meet at a certain point and pass through smoothly without a hitch.

Often you need a little nudge in the right direction, a reminder or a kick in the butt to get you back on track when you stray. You don't listen to those who don't practice what they preach but you hope to be one whom people listen to so you try your best to walk the talk even if you don't always succeed, under the understanding that people may not listen to you if you haven't accomplished that yet.

What defines you as you? Why are we so worried about what happens when we die when we have forgotten to see what can happen while we live? Do you honestly want to come to a point where you are so afraid of dying that you have missed out on living when death really comes knocking at your door? Which, incidentally could happen any day. Even if you are exceedingly careful. Take for example, the person knocked down by a car. He could have been careful, he could have been wary but the driver might not have been and therefore, the word "accident" and not "intentional mishap" comes into play. So knowing that anything, anywhere could happen to you, would you still continue fearing death, or journey on knowing that death is inevitable, and focus on living instead?

If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change? Would you rid the world of AIDS, change people to be less selfish, less money-minded, more humane? Or perhaps not do anything at all knowing that Man is flawed and that is what makes us human?

In the end, what is it you want to accomplish?
Maybe to change someone's life, starting with your own because we do things one step at a time.

On that note, if today were your last day, what would you do? Because that answer probably shows what kind of person you are, through and through.

catch dreams or make dreams♥

State of Mind

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't;
It is almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost;
for out in the world we find
success begins with a fellow's will;
it's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are;
you've got to think high to rise,
you've got to be sure of yourself
before you can win the prize.

Life's battles don't always go
to the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
is the man who thinks he can.

Author Unknown

Not in dream-catchers but in dream-making because ultimately its you and your life that no one else gets the ticket to experience but you. Why waste it waiting?

Deep down, everyone fears rejection in some way or another. Its a lonely life, you might say. But probably its going to be even lonelier when you're letting people in to try to fill that empty hole. Take your time, we've got our entire life ahead of us. Its a nice feeling of being liked and being needed but its also a nice feeling to like (though I can't say the same of to need).

How do you define close?

do you see it? ♥

Its really up to you to make a rainbow for yourself to see. And anyway, you'll never get rainbows if there isn't rain.

Often we see things that only we want to see, or things that we think we're going to see. Even if they aren't there. More often than not, we create our own view of things. Why then, have we forgotten to take a step back and stop ourselves before jumping to conclusions? We hear what we want, see what we want and are completely oblivious to the reality (of what might or might not be)

what then, have we achieved?♥

Work hard catch the right train on the fast-track no time for regrets because its always go go go at the change of the lights make the best of what you have no turning back no time for that, no. Life is a one way street twisting and turning in the end to get to where everyone goes- to death. Still you slog it out to make a good life for you and your future children hoping they'll (if not you) get the chance to live like kings or at least realistically, break out of middle class, have a better life than what you've been living. But in this world where everything goes forward without stopping and no one slows down, is that enough, that list of accomplishments that you've had? Upon your death people will talk about you, just another statistic, define you as what you have done, middle-class girl striving hard making decent grades perhaps a 4 digit income, maybe 5 if you're lucky, bringing profits to the company you've worked for, long service award even but is this truly enough? What do you really want to live behind?

Wouldn't you like it more if the words spoken were memories made, priceless, irreplaceable, something that words alone could not capture? But we, we live in this world where people are slaves to their phones (especially the iphone), slaves to technology, a place where people have almost completely lost touch with the essence of humanity. When was the last time you went out with someone and was truly engaged with them the entire time? People forget why we live together, stay close together and the fact that we are all intertwined with each other. We eat dinner together (in front of the tv), speak more listen less and couldn't care less honestly to the point where sometimes you just keep quiet because you can't be bothered to answer. Communication? I think not. So when you die, is it a surprise that people don't talk about you for you but for what you have done? What did you do to allow them to really understand, get to know and remember you? Is it enough that you have achieved that entire list of accomplishments when you've really achieved nothing at all as a person?

is that enough for the story of your life? if it could even be considered living like that?

Take a long walk for a change, throw the phone somewhere you can't hear it or see it. Watch the sunset go down or maybe the sunrise. This is the world you live in. Have you already forgotten how it looks like though you're walking through it day by day?

the journey not the end♥

I used to think that if one put in all the effort, full steam ahead, it didn't matter if you tired fast because you'd get there faster and you could always break past your own barriers to reach a whole new level- and the getting to the destination would be worth every single drop of sweat, blood and tears. But I guess after experience you realise that the fatigue on the way and the reality of impossibility of breaking through to a new level when you absolutely do not have the strength- therein lies the danger of things becoming simply too much to handle. It would have been so much easier if one didn't crave for instant gratification, instant perfection- a full 360 degree reversal- would things have been different if the approach had changed?

People always say that life is a journey with deaths and births and we study hard to get a good job, earn good money, live a good life. So living and dying: we come into this world with nothing and leave without. Yet education does not always make one smarter when half of us think we know everything yet when faced with the reality of life end up dumber than the average dodo. Is this then a flaw of our education system or the flaw of the education our family and friends provide us with? Or is it just our flaws showing? After 12 long years, what have we truly learnt from school? The best lessons I've probably learnt are in the midst of JC (and then, those weren't taught by teachers, notes or books either) Wherein lies the crux of education here in Singapore then? You and I both know life's lessons can never be taught by any book. And in the midst of this rant I've probably lost my point so maybe, just consider what you think education is and what has our system taught you.

Food for thought.
I've always, consistently wondered what love is. And so far, the best answer I've heard was probably mentioned a few posts back. But wait, stop and ask yourself. What, to you, is love?
And if you could actually sum it up in a sentence, go back to the question. Because as far as I know, no one who actually even knows a part of what love is can sum it up fully.

If births and deaths are all part of life, then why do births give us overflowing joy and deaths bring unbearable sadness? Why do we only celebrate the one who has yet to experience the ups and downs of life and mourn the one who has had that rich experience? Should we not feel joy too, that one has lived a full life? Or that even in the event of which he or she has had his or her life cut short, be thankful, even happy that he or she has had the opportunity to experience what he/she has? But no, we are ultimately human. We err. We have flaws. We should do things that we don't. We could do things that we don't. And because the bond was there and strengthened over time and we've lived, dreamt, loved with them- to take that away would be like removing a pillar in your heart. We are always happy when more are put in, but take them away and it hurts to the very core of your being. But its not by choice that the pillars crumble and collapse and disappear because that's just the way life is. And like the way things are, we just have to accept that, like it or not.

Once, one thought that by blaming oneself, and acknowledging the blame, the pain would be alleviated because there was a reason to the end. Because to accept that there was no reason that another would leave would be akin to tearing apart and leaving an empty, gaping hole in a structure. To take blame would allow that hole to be temporarily filled with something, something that hurt the structure because it wasn't exactly the same, but would eventually dissolve and the hole would be filled naturally with the passing of time. It wouldn't always be the best solution yet at that time, it would likely be the least painful rather than leaving the structure swaying in the wind.

But then one has to accept that growing up means that you have to learn to take things as they come, no matter how many or painful the obstacles and threats come hurtling at you. One has to learn that growing up means you can't use other means to try and dodge them because the impact will be worse in the end if you do. Sometimes you really hate growing up because there is no safe haven and nowhere to run and hide and since friends are not always there, there are times when you are truly alone with no warm embrace to soothe or comfort or stand together and take the fall. Yet growing up truly tests yourself and your ability to survive on your own- as trying as it may be, we all go through it and we don't fail because inside every person (whether they know it or not) does lie a great source of strength- or at least, one I'd like to believe in. And since I'll have to grow up either way, I might as well have fun while doing it. And I promise won't hate it though I might want to. In fact, bring it on and I'll give it all I've got. Or where would the fun in life lie?

就请你给我多一点点时间♥

Increasingly, there's the feeling that you're often going around in circles and never actually getting to the point. Or that you're going round in circles and never finding yourself.

Telling a lie isn't always as bad as what others tell you. Sometimes we lie to protect others, or even (maybe even selfishly) ourselves. Occasionally we even hurt others so they hurt less, as unbelievable as that may be.

As much as I'd like to disprove the theory that time heals all wounds, I really can't because all evidence thus far does point to that. At the very least, it soothes them, if not healing them. Ultimately the healing still goes back to how you handle yourself during that period when you most need it. And sometimes I've learnt that not everything needs to be handled alone because that's what friends are for.

And really, they may not need you, but you need them. Even if you don't know it yet because every word and action speaks volumes and touches your heart in some way or another. You may deny it but you'll probably realise it when the true crunch comes. You might push them away but in the end, you'll realise that that wasn't the best solution. That you could have made your life easier if you'd just opened your heart to those who'd touched it, if you'd just given them the chance to try. People don't always know the right words to say or the right things to do but I guess ,the right intention is almost always there if those are the right people. And sometimes, its really the effort that counts.

colour me in♥

I always find that discovering who a person really is is rather like travelling in uncharted waters. And also that you're filling in a blank canvas or a turning a really rough sketch into a masterpiece. Pretty awesome analogy from someone who can't draw, isn't it?

And why is it that the person you least expect to be get along well with (or hasn't even appeared to be in your 'could be good friend' list- stuck in 'probably just an acquaintance')often turns out to be someone you can talk to pretty well? Is this that ever-present Murphy's law acting up again, or is this just the way life is?

If one can tell the difference between her daydreams and reality, why is it that she will still continue to waste her time on daydreams, knowing the reality? Perhaps because we all need a little dreaming every now and then to give us a little lift?

Conservative[kuhn-sur-vuh-tiv]

1.disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change.

2.

cautiously moderate or purposefully low: a conservative estimate.

3.

traditional in style or manner; avoiding novelty or showiness: conservative suit.

I guess maybe I am then. Probably born into the wrong generation too.


Sometimes I look at the children of the rich and I wonder if these people will ever learn the value of money. Sometimes I look at the hands of those who buy clothes and wonder if that soft smooth skin will ever know what hardship is, or if they've ever earned the dollars they spend. Then I see the hands of those on the street and wonder if they'll ever get the chance to spend the money they earn to pamper themselves and the calloused skin on their hands.

Sometimes I look at my own hands and wonder what I should do, knowing that my hands are only slightly rougher than those who don't worry about how much they spend. I haven't yet earned my keep and I've got a long way to go.

Have you looked at yours lately? I'd like to ask them.

I figure, nail polish on fingers is only for those who don't do much or it'll get chipped off fast. Since you only see the teenagers and rich paint them most of the time. So paint your nails one day and try it. I did. How long does yours last?

hello you♥

Sometimes you lose yourself on the way and sometimes you can't find something that helps you cling on to and move forward. Sometimes all you need is people and when it's all over, you'll be back.

People don't always run from others. In fact it is the areas that we lack in where we truly need people to help us. And people mostly are willing to step in. At least, thats what I want to believe and so far, its proven true.

Welcome back, self is not too far away so hang in there.

peekaboo i see you♥

Lovely babies.

Sometimes I find that its extremely hard to find your way into someone's heart. Friendship-wise I mean. Not everyone is willing to open up. Its when you look into a baby's face and you see the clear picture and the true vulnerability that you realise people are all like that deep down. Its just that as the years pass, we put on layers and layers that mask that self.

And that lack of open-ness sometimes adds to the intrigue of a person so much so that you find yourself drawn towards them to find out more.

"Just A Dream" by Nelly - Christina Grimmie & Sam Tsui

happy new year♥

(Sam Tsui)

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
(Christina Grimmie)
I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

(Sam Tsui)

I was at the top and I was like I’m in the basement.
Number one spot and now you found your own replacement.
I swear now that I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.
I shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See your pretty face run my fingers through your hair.

My lover, my life. My baby, my wife.
You left me, I'm tied.
Cuz I know that it just ain't right.

(Together)
I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

(Christina Grimmie)
When I'm ridin I swear I see your face at every turn.
I'm tryin to get my usher on, but I can let it burn.
And I just hope you'll know you're the only one I yearn for.
No wonder I'll be missing when I'll learn?

Didn't give you all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about you baby.

Hey, you were(was) so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough.

I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.
And now i'm wishin that she'd pick up the phone.
But she made a decision that she wanted to move one.
Cuz I was wrong...

(Together)
And I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything.

Ohhh, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.

(if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.)
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.

(if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.)
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes (open my eyes); it was only just a dream (it's just a dream).
I travel back (travel back) (i travel back), down that road (down the road)(down the road).
Will you come back? No one knows (no one knows).
I realize, it was only just a dream (No, no, no...).

And I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes (open my eyes) (open my eyes); it was only just a dream (it's just a.. it's just a dream).
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize (i realize), it was only just a dream
(baby, it was only just... it was only just a dream)

Nooo... Ohhh...

It was only just a dream.

credits: http://www.lukeyishandsome.com/2010/11/just-dream-sam-tsui-christina-grimmie.html

stories♥

(I once dreamt I was escaping a mad murderer in a bookshop like this. )

Sometimes I feel like an old soul trapped in this disproportionate body. Where when it comes to people, 99% of the time I feel like saying "I TOLD YOU SO" when no one believes it/doesn't hear it out of politeness but that outcome that was in my head actually happened. But I guess you can't make your pie and eat it all the time.