it was only just a dream♥

Check out Sam Tsui's and Christina Grimmie's cover of Just a Dream. Really good stuff.

Its ten minutes before the last day of the year 2010, and I've got to say, despite all the ups and downs, 2010 has been really really good. Well, the fact that we've even survived 2010 was an amazing feat in itself.

So here's to new friends (thank you tammie you've made my tiny social circle bigger hahaha), mad laughs and good times with the craziest class ever, accepting friends that don't hold grudges (i hope), lessons learnt, awesome memories and the journey towards adulthood continues.

I'm not one to make New Year resolutions but probably we've all got a long way to go, I myself am really forced to reconsider myself as a person. So things to do. One would be to be less judgmental and give others concessions when you don't know the full picture. Patience, too, is a virtue I sorely lack (although sometimes I really don't care- I admit). Politeness (ACTUALLY I AM VERY POLITE TO STRANGERS UNTIL THEY BECOME RUDE SO TAKE THAT AWFUL COMMUTERS WHO DON'T GIVE WAY please excuse the shouting, thank you very much) and my brain is slowly shutting down so this list is going to have to end here in a haphazard manner.

I guess what I've come to accept is that people do change. And sometimes you just can't change them or expect them to think the way you do. You just try to get along and hope that mutual acceptance of each others flaws happens soon enough to prevent collateral damage anyhow.

Probably another realisation (personal opinion though) was that guys are interestingly more attractive when they've (to put it more crudely), got the balls to go out there and try to win the girl directly. [that has to be the most public statement I've ever made about guys] I mean, if she means something, you'll dare to seize the bull by its horns and ask her out properly. Wishy-washy/roundabout manner just doesn't cut it, you know?

Okay maybe the last paragraph was vaguely biased and totally out of line (I feel like such a teenager). Then again, I feel so much older now than I used to. Its also freaky how I'm starting to sound like my parents when I speak. Perhaps thats a good sign that I'm finally growing up?

Anyway, its midnight!

Happy 31st December, world. I'll close this year now (since there's work tomorrow) and I hope to see you in 2011, ready to take you on for another 365 days.

[I realise how all-over-the-place this post is and I'm probably rambling incoherent thoughts right about now. But, time for a last thought. Sometimes you'd wish that all the bad stuff that's happened is really just a dream so you can get rid of it or subconsciously fight it, but then you realise that reality is as much a dream because in both instances, its all mind over matter. Perhaps not having an omniscient being helps.]

sad truth, isn't it♥

We are such lazy people. Its very trying to see people act the way they do and sometimes I feel like such a naive kid, wanting to believe that people do honestly act in the interests of others, I, still clinging to the beliefs that they ought to do this or do that. But people aren't like that at all, and that is the sad truth of things. You'd think rich people should give away their wealth instead of spending thousands on clothes; thousands that others don't even earn, thousands, when children are starving and people are dying of diseases and a severe lack of nutrition. You'd also think that people would be polite enough to say a simple "Excuse me" since that's what they hope to hear when others are trying to move past- but no. People expect that of others but don't do the same themselves. Thusly, we are all hypocrites in our own ways. Think about it. You've also done something like that, expecting one thing that you don't do.

And Singaporeans. When an accident occurs, theres 2 people helping the one involved, and 1376529561953160267 people standing at the side gawking. Literally staring like O_O. Or worse, *_*.

But I can't complain, actually. After all I'm still young and haven't seen the world yet. Its a nasty world, I don't deny. And I have just about given up all ideals in exchange for reality. People always think they've seen the world, when in fact, they're still stuck in their little bubble. And then they think they're absolutely right all the time. But what can I say? I may have seen more than them, but mine is only a slightly larger bubble. And they won't believe me anyway. So I'd keep it to myself unless they'd insist and then I might just quit tolerating. Silly me. Why waste that energy/saliva? They'll find out sooner or later. They always do.

This might be a good time to do some self-reflection, but I guess I do a fairly large amount on normal days (too much free time eh). Who else crams down food even though you feel like puking because you remember the starving children and how you will never want to have to face that kind of problem so you treasure the fact that you have too much? This, in retrospect, sounds vaguely condescending but I assure you, it isn't meant that way. Oh well.

We always dream of white weddings and pretty love scenes. But in reality, what's the percentage of happy love stories? I just heard one real-life story that was a totally plausible scenario and I guess, its not the only one. Just that we only hear the good stories and we never think that this could well be a possibility either. You wonder, how'd you know this guy was the right one? Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you get situations where you'd get pregnant, sometimes you'd need to marry for money. Not everyone has a backstory worthy of an anime. And that's just the way life is. Although you never think that it'll happen to you just yet.

I always worry that I'll be too idealistic when I grow up. But now that I've actually started the growing-up process, all notions like that have been dispelled. How can you hang on to these ideals when you've seen reality? I can't.

I always dreamt that one day, I'd marry a rich man and open orphanages and hospitals in South Africa. But for one, I don't think my heart is big enough, nor strong enough to do so. And secondly, how many rich men would like to part with their money like that by firstly, marrying a poor girl, and secondly, for no apparent benefits/returns? Thats a minority you know. On top of that, even if I never marry/never marry a rich man, I'm probably never going to get rich enough to do what I want and NGO's/ NPO's don't have that kind of money anyway.

I used to dream that I could change the world.

Now, I just want to change someone's life for the better. But first, I've got to start with myself.

you know, she's right ♥

We're seventeen (and up) and we don't know what love is. Definitely not. And anyone who claims to know it is lying. I doubt we'd ever know what love is even when we're our parents' age. Because like some great man said, Love is a puzzle of which you'll only ever see the pieces separately but never the entire thing. Yes, 老 Hero. True brilliance.

reminders we need ♥

好久没用华语了。忘了它，它能原谅我吗? 小时的我，讨厌他，恨他。但不知不觉的，我在成长的过程学会欣赏它。

我不想再次回头， 不想带着一心的遗憾。坦白说，那七个月里，我的确开心，我的确感到十分幸福。为何在到了这时刻时，那些感情会变呢？朋友，命运注定我们会永远-是，永远的，作为一生一世的好朋友。Soul mates, but not soul mates. Can there not be a distinction? 为何不能回到原点呢?我半心后悔, 也半心感到这是最好的选择。在这紧要的关键，你能和平时一样，通通地了解我的心，了解我的想法吗？ 这次，我能像白痴一样，相信未来会是美好的吗?你能让我再一次，多一次，相信梦想会成真吗？

Lets jettison off into space, where maybe dreams really will come true. I can walk in with the courage and the confidence of a (wo)man knowing he'll get what he dreams, but behind, you always know to prepare for the worst. Although you know you'll try anyway.

你累了吗？



pictures of you
pictures of me
hung up on the wall for the world to see

if only i could turn back time♥

there's no going back now

是的， 世界上没有东西会永垂不朽。我们早晚会要在成长的过程中对某人某事说声“对不起”或“再见"。所有的痛苦,快乐,悲哀,愤怒 是属于自己的。是我们有意无意，在自己慢慢，一步一步往前走的过程中，始终得到的效果。这次，不能像小孩儿一样，因为责任是我的。 这次，不能冤枉别人，也不能婆婆妈妈的。你问，为什么呢？三个字。

长大了。

跟小时的你说声再见吧。 跟它唱那词 “我和你吻别，在无人的街”。 我拖了又拖，但这次真的拖不下去了。 他们都已充满勇气踏入我们凶猛的世界，而我，我还站在门口，迟疑不决着。 好丢脸喔。你可能会说， 初生之犊不怕虎。坦白地说，我怕。我怕我会在未了中，身边无人。我怕在这一命中，一无所有， 一点也不成功。为何不怕呢？

但怕只是怕了一点。谁也无法掌握命运。 若是真的有神， 它也无法控制一切。 生命本是属于我的。所有在这世中所发生的事是因为我做的某某事。所以我应该掌握着这时刻，对不对？我是无法相，也无法接受我应做的事是等待和接受事情的结果。我不是要改变世界， 而是想掌握我的生活，我的命运。

是，我的确是固执了一点。

good morning♥

today i am going to wander the streets like a hobo with a lousy camera. and maybe i'll see the world in a new light.

anime catch-up♥

I'd forgotten how wtf the Earl of Millenium in D.Gray Man was. Just watched episodes 1 and 2 (and can't load any of the rest) plus the internet is suddenly so slow I can't read the manga either and I really want to know what happens. Gosh this guy is like my worst nightmare (now that math is safely out of my life). He is such a freak.

You'd think that after A's -which I've been looking forward too forever- would be like loads of summer fun and filled with carefree laughter etc etc. Apparently not.
It seems that after so long where your life has been centred around studying, by reoving studying, I've essentially lost the purpose in my life for now. There's nothing to do. I mean yes, I could facebook, watch tv, catch-up on my shows, go shopping, wander around...but hey, there's an actual limit to how much of that stuff you can do. Singapore is only that small.

Give me a good site to watch anime on please. At least it'll fill part of this yawning gaping void.

I just realised that my secondary school english teacher (no thanks to you) didn't actually edit anything in my testimonial, other than removing one sentence and changing all my present tense to past tense. Honestly, I sound like I'm dead. "Shayne was a student of the school" "Shayne was an active member. And then at the end I suddenly sound like I woke from the dead "yadayadayada will help her achieve her goals in future". Tell me that doesn't sound wrong to you.

And you wonder why I went to an independent school for? Maybe to realise that the teachers are higher-paid and often lousier than government school teachers. Or maybe I just met a select wrong few.

well then, i've done a lot♥

I didn't think it would be this hard.

I wanted to believe it was genuine too. Is this all a mistake? But maybe you're better off like this because you deserve better.

sadly, we are one of them♥

This came in an email. And maybe someone should get all Singaporean parents to read this.


Great story. Attached article reveals that instilling gratitude instead of entitlement provide a firmer grounding to true happiness. The sense of entitlement cause self-centered views and perrenial disatisfaction with society at large.



STORY OF APPRECIATION

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director who did the last interview, had the final decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research,never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" theyouth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your schoolfees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as a laundry woman. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and wash your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him wash her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth washed his mother's hands slowly. His tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were washed with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the washing of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office. The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I washed my mother’s hand, and also finished washing all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, "Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate
the importance and value of family relationship."

The director said,"This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired."


Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when

he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the child instead?*


You can let your child live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow grey, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your child learns how toappreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learn the ability to work with others to get things done.

one nice song of his♥

Every night it’s all the same
You’re frozen by the phone
You wait, something’s changed
You blame yourself every day
You’d do it again
Every night

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh
It sets you free

There’s something ’bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain
It’ll bring you to your knees
There’s something ’bout love that breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh...
But don’t give up
There’s something ’bout love

When you were young
Scared of the night
Waiting for love to come along
And make it right
Your day will come, the past is gone
So take your time
And live and let live

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh
It sets you free

There’s something ’bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain
It’ll bring you to your knees
There’s something ’bout love that breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh...
But don’t give up
There’s something ’bout love

Don’t fight
Don’t hide
Those stars in your eyes (in your eyes)
Let em’ shine tonight
Let em’ shine tonight

Hang on
Hang in
For the ride of your life
It’s gonna be alright
Hold on tight

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh
It sets you free

There’s something ’bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain
It’ll bring you to your knees (to your knees)
There’s something ’bout love that breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh...
But don’t give up
There’s something ’bout love

Whoa oh oh oh..
Set’s you free
There’s something bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain

david archuleta

now its 5 hours to geog and imma get the hell out of here.

part of your world♥

Sometimes you just lie in bed and roll around, legs tangled in sheets and stuffed toys and lingering thoughts of the dream that you just awoke from. And that feels absolutely good.
I guess the part about going to bed I hate the most is when you lie there wide awake, trying to fall asleep and all the horrible thoughts and scenarios are whizzing through your mind faster than the transmission of data on the Internet.

I would be terribly wrong if I said I did not feel guilt at all. In fact, I'd be damned if this isn't one of the suckiest feelings. And you want to come clean but you don't know how.

Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free
Wish I could be
Part of that world

i'm glad skks isn't really part of my life♥

Or this is what I'd be doing with Jae Shin and Yong Ha. I fear I'm already halfway there, thinking about how life would be if Sungkyunkwan Scandal was real. The show's already got me squealing and rolling around in anticipation, worry, admiration, agony... you get the picture. Literally, yes? So yes, this picture is rather disturbing. Think of the possibilities!
Then again, this would also be disturbing if Patrick wasn't referring to Patrick the starfish but your friend Patrick.

I cannot believe A levels are coming to a close and I have to say, this was the most bumpy ride I ever had. I cannot even get my hopes up because I know how bad everything was. And I'm screwed, really. One more paper for the final redemption.

Its not fair to keep dragging this on, is it? I suppose you'd owe it to oneself to be honest. And to others as well. I don't understand why I'm feeling so apathetic about it though. As though whatever happened didn't matter. Maybe I've got a heart of stone. Like why I can't even be bothered to reply the teacher and I really hope she comes to confront me. Pick on the student with lousy grades. That's probably the worst thing you can do because out of all the students, the chances of one having lousier grades being better at talking back to you and making you feel stupid is much much higher than those booksmart kids who tend to follow the rules and keep apologizing to you (which, incidentally I'm sure you want to hear). Call yourself an English teacher and you can't even read the terms in the contract.

Time for reflection again I suppose- its that time of the year. I guess two years in JC really changes you. I feel like I've gotten more wary, more realistic and definitely more hard-hearted. Also that my eyes have opened slightly wider than before. I forgive less and give less leeway for mistakes now, hold only a few friends close and keep the rest at bay, those that I can drop anytime and not really care much about. Seen the bad of females and become even less accepting of my own gender- but what can I say really, its true (and I wouldn't be surprised at all if people were to say what I say about other women about me because in the end I still retain female characteristics) Made stupid mistakes, found my regrets (now its too late isn't it? its all coming to a close) I just want to close this chapter and start again. And hopefully luck will be on my side even if my grades are bad and stuff.

People have changed so much. But I suppose we need to stop being self-centred little bitches and wake up to the fact that the world doesn't revolve around us, that people are all different and you can't fault them for thinking like they do. To learn to accommodate (which I haven't yet mastered) and to learn to give in. As much as you'd like to try, there is absolutely no such thing as a person who can love unconditionally. And I'm not talking about it in a religious sense. (obviously) Because we all hold some form of bias in our heart and there's this bit that will always want to keep thinking about yourself yourself yourself. But we can try.

It is true that people in Africa have their own set of problems and we have a different set. But their set is for survival and ours is for luxury. I'm not one to pity them but are you really sure you want to be fighting for survival? Treasure what you have because all we fight for is for good or better options- while they are fighting to live or die every single day. I have to say I really admire them and I am truly ashamed that we complain about our lives when we have it so good and never ever opened our eyes to see the treasure sitting in front of us that we are basking in.

sometimes its about reality♥

First of all, I do believe the teacher I conversed with over email about the internship doesn't understand english. Which is why I can't be bothered to reply her and I don't really care if its rude because I have no idea who the heck she is and I'm more than 100% sure she doesn't know me either. If its not in black and white, I'm not signing it. Can't you get a simple concept like that? If I were to be nasty, that's probably the reason why she's still a Ms. But whatever.

Women.

Finally down to one and I'm seriously hoping its going to turn out ok. And in a few days I can finally start on my gym sessions. Finally. Can I not emphasize that more?

Endless possibilities. I am counting on you for a social life after this, yes?Can't wait for girls day out! Maybe its stress, I dont know. I wonder if you've gotten a clue or is this going to be Hiroshima all over again? Still, things have to change.

You know, I am the reason why I would never want to be a teacher. Because I'd never want to teach myself. Just because I don't follow rules.

isn't this just fine? ♥

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11814300

People remain silent sometimes because inside is just a mess. And sometimes no matter what, you won't be able to break through those walls because they just won't let you.

Its 6 days more and 6 more gruelling hours in the exam hall (with no toilet and endless writing like the wind). Looking for a way to dilute nail polish- what kind of alcohol can I add?

I absolutely cannot wait. Am so afraid of the outcome and yet what can I do when I could do that should have been done was not and the time now has passed in which amends can be made? I can only vow that no matter what happens I will walk away with a smile because I made my path the way it is and it is purely my fault and no one else's.

teardrops on my piano♥

Sometimes I feel like I can almost hear my piano crying.
Because the songs I play don't strike a chord with me any more and half the time I'm bashing out notes that are (obviously) wrong and frustrated at how bad it sounds. And its not helping that I don't even like the piece I'm playing. I seem to forget why I started this in the first place.

and after econs will come...♥

the power of language.

SKKS tonight!!

it might be a sign that I woke up at 615 this morning thinking I was late for the econs paper when its actually tomorrow.

all the grades "first begin with her"

if i married a lee i would name my child haappi and turn her into a catholic with a middle name of eva and chinese name ah fe ter.

but happily ever after is just wishful thinking aint it?

brenda you need this?♥

To be honest I thought it was really ingenious.

Love this. Is it a sign that I can relate to it?

Well I suppose it works for all deities. Do you ever feel like screaming this out although you know that it would make you sound like the stupidest idiot in the world? It is really really amazing that one can tell tone from pure text. And I hate it so much that I absolutely have to reply in the exact same tone that the offending sms was sent.

If only math were that simple.


Because we've all got walls that we've painstakingly crafted and built up brick by brick to keep others out- or is it ourselves in? Its not easy and it never has been. Maybe we're just not ready yet, but i wonder if we'll ever be. I cannot promise nor can I ever be sure, perhaps all we can do is say we're sorry- for a lack of a better word. Maybe in self-reassurance it may be for the better. Do you ever wonder why you always face your deepest worries and fears in the middle of the night?

Sometimes I remember what appeals and what doesn't so much and I understand what people see in those films we gasp/laugh/cry/swoon over but which rarely happens in real life. Sometimes you're reminded of what truly calls out to you even though your rational mind overrules everything else- but for a moment that tinge of magnetism radiates and you know what it means to look with a flawed sight.

Literature, real literature, must not be gulped down like some potion which may be good for the heart or good for the brain—the brain, that stomach of the soul. Literature must be taken and broken to bits, pulled apart, squashed—then its lovely reek will be smelt in the hollow of the palm, it will be munched and rolled upon the tongue with relish; then, and only then, its rare flavor will be appreciated at its true worth and the broken and crushed parts will again come together in your mind and disclose the beauty of a unity to which you have contributed something of your own blood.

Lectures on Russian Literature by Vladimir Nabokov

lose yourself♥

1997 and we welcomed the world of Harry Potter with thrills and squeals of delight and joy. Remembering what it was like to eagerly await (and hope) to get that one letter admitting you to the school you'd never get to see, to dream of flying on your own broom searching for the elusive Snitch. Now its 2010 and finally, after watching this movie, we'll be one step closer to closing this magical door - and when part 2 comes, it will really, really be over. And its kind of sad to realise that nothing is truly going to last forever. That childhood dream and yearning we once revered we now see as nothing more than a child's dream. Just one more time I want to step back into the magical world of Harry Potter, where good triumphs evil, where people have happy endings walking off into the train station into the sunset.

Its kind of hard to grapple with the concept that 12 years of sheltered (and a little stifled) education is coming to an end. 3 more papers and it will truly be the end of this road and on to a new one. Sort of like coming to the crossroads where we know this might be the last time we see each other-so much for wedding invites- we'll get to that bridge if we do still know each other when whoever it is is getting married (void deck, anyone?)

But as of now its still an agonising wait for 3 more papers to be over, another 10 days to go, It seemed like only yesterday we were counting down to the start of As 10987654321 and now its almost the end of this marathon. Sadly, I feel like I could have put in so much more, that when it came down to the actual race I faltered, stumbled and threw out the worst combination of answers I could have put out. And I'm hoping it'll be enough (because personally I highly doubt it is when I know my own standard). Still its all one can do but to hope for the best and hope for relativity to kick in when you need it most. Desperately though. Sometimes you wonder if its fair that your 12 years should have to come down to that 3 hours, that someone can pay their way into a place that could be yours (if wealth wasnt the issue), that you should be bested by someone who got luckier in that 3 hours. But who ever said that life is fair?

Wishing for a book-worthy ending. Because after all that, this is still what I feel like. (and feel like doing) And how do I tell you when I don't want to let you down?



Trying to be perfect
Trying not to let you down
Honesty is honestly
The hardest thing for me right now
While the floors underneath our feet
Are crumbling, the walls we built together tumbling
I still stand here holding up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth

TOLD YOU SO♥

Sorry, I need to gloat. HA TOLD YOU SO TOLD YOU SO NYAH NYAH NYAH. Candlelight romance HA!

Okay now that I've calmed down after that blast (get it) of excitement, here's the cat! Probably the only time I really like cats are in cartoons. Look at that awesome expression! (:

This goes to show that we shouldn't try too hard to fit in. Especially when you're short you can't make yourself taller. Hehe this is so cute.

Do you sometimes feel like you're reaching out for something and you can almost see it? But you're not quite there?
Shit, visual irony :/ But this is what I was talking about that day.

no, I don't think so♥

I-LOVE-THIS.


And this. Twilight, proves that sex sells. Big time.
Oh no econs.


I miss the days of good TV shows like Drake and Josh ): And this. I'm sorry, but our childhood wins hands down. Although I don't remember zoog disney... hm.

oh well.
thanks to vintagejuliets for the pictures.
time to mug.

to love with an open heart♥

Admittedly I already knew what was going to happen at the end just by watching the first scene. And my second thought was that of paper wastage. But the message was really clear and it was a nice film.


Although I much prefer films like this.

and this was probably better, if not just as good.

Sometimes you feel ashamed of who you are and who you have been.
Sometimes pride takes pole position in your heart and you can't bring yourself to say those simple two words.
Sometimes you say it, but no one hears you.

Sometimes you wonder if its you and not them.

Sometimes, you're sorry and you don't know how to say it, in actions or out loud in words.

teetering at the edge♥

Sometimes you question and others you wonder,
whether really, is this what you wanted.
Whether that uncertainty then was a reason for now
and whether the past haunts the present (in more ways than one)
certainly you tried to, at least, to figure things out.
Is it that the sunrise is so far over the horizon, then
or just that you're sitting in the dark- waiting to be illuminated?
Or just maybe you're walking blindly, unsure of what you seek.
sure though, that you can't afford to slip.
Maybe the best way is no way at all
because 75 is all you're giving.

and maybe it sure as hell isn't enough.

get behind the wheel and drive♥

Of the Ferrari F430 Spider that is.
6 years and I finally am sure, understand thoroughly where I stand on this. And I know now, why religion will never die out.

I can't say where this extended road trip is going to take me. All I know is that, whatever happens now (which probably isn't that good), I made my own pie and I'm going to have to eat it. Whether I like it or not. And if the road is going to be bumpy, then that's my own fault and I'll just have to make up for it. But f***, you'd wish it'd be better. Obviously.

Mouse over this really awesome flash thing. Things never stand alone.:

http://dearmary.info/post/1493450180

words omg♥

Change or Perish

By ROGER COHEN

Published: October 4, 2010

LONDON — Before leggings, when there were letters, before texts and tweets, when there was time, before speed cameras, when you could speed, before graffiti management companies, when cities had souls, we managed just the same.

Damon Winter/The New York Times

Roger Cohen

Before homogenization, when there was mystery, before aggregation, when the original had value, before digital, when there was vinyl, before Made in China, when there was Mao, before stress management, when there was romance, we had the impression we were doing all right.

Before apps, when there were attention spans, before “I’ve got five bars,” when bars were for boozing, before ring-tone selection, when the phone rang, before high-net-worth individuals, when love was all you needed, before hype, when there was Hendrix, we got by just the same.

Before social media, when we were social, before thumb-typing, when a thumb hitched a ride, before de-friending, when a friend was for life, before online conduct, when you conducted yourself, before “content,” when we told stories, we did get by all the same.

Before non-state actors, when states commanded, before the Bangalore back office, when jobs stayed put, before globalization, when wars were cold, we did manage O.K., it seemed.

Before celebrities, when there were stars, before Google maps, when compasses were internal, before umbilical online-ism, when we off-lined our lives, before virtual flirtation, when legs touched, we felt we managed all the same.

Before identity theft, when nobody could steal you, before global positioning systems, when we were lost, before 24/7 monitoring and alerts by text and e-mail, when there was idleness, before spin doctors, when there was character, before e-readers, when pages were turned, we did get by just the same.

Before organic, when carrots weren’t categorized, before derivatives, when your mortgage was local, before global warming, when we feared nuclear winters, before “save the planet,” when we lived in our corners, before the Greens, when we faced the Reds, it seemed we did somehow manage just the same.

Or did we? Before iPads and “Search,” in the era of print, before portable devices, when there were diaries, before the weather channel, when forecasts were farcical, before movies-on-demand, when movies were demanding, before chains and brands, in the time of the samizdat, before curved shower curtain rods, when they were straight, before productivity gains, when Britain produced things, and so did Ohio, did we really and honestly get by just the same?

Before January cherries, when fruit had seasons, before global sushi, when you ate what you got, before deep-fried Mars bars, when fish were what fried, before New World wine, when wine was tannic, before fast food and slow food, when food just was, before plate-size cookies, when greed was contained, before fusion, in scattered division, before the obesity onslaught, in our ordinariness, could we — could we — have gotten by all the same?

Before dystopia, when utopia beckoned, before rap, in Zappa’s time, before attention deficit disorders, when people turned on, before the new Prohibition, when lunches were liquid, before Lady Gaga, when we dug the Dead, before “join the conversation,” when things were disjointed, before Facebook, when there was Camelot, before reality shows, when things were real, yes, I believe we got by just the same.

Before “I’ll call you back,” when people made dates, before algorithms, when there was aimlessness, before attitude, when there was apathy, before YouTube, when there was you and me, before Gore-Tex, in the damp, before sweat-resistant fabric, when sweat was sexy, before high-tech sneakers, as we walked the walk, before remotes, in the era of distance, I’m sure we managed just the same.

Before “carbon neutral,” when carbon copied, before synching, when we lived unprompted, before multiplatform, when pen met paper, before profiling, when there was privacy, before cloud computing, when life was earthy, before a billion bits of distraction, when there were lulls, before “silent cars,” when there was silence, before virtual community, in a world with borders, before cut-and-paste, to the tap of the Selectra, before the megabyte, in disorder, before information overload, when streets were for wandering, before “sustainable,” in the heretofore, before CCTV, in invisibility, before networks, in the galaxy of strangeness, my impression, unless I’m wrong, is that we got by quite O.K.

Before I forget, while there is time, for the years pass and we don’t get younger, before the wiring accelerates, while I can pause, let me summon it back, that fragment from somewhere, that phrase that goes: “The bourgeoisie cannot exist without constantly revolutionizing the instruments of production ... and with them the whole relations of society.”

Yes, that was Marx, when he was right, before he went wrong, when he observed, before he imagined, with terrible consequences for the 20th century.

And if back in that century — back when exactly? — in the time before the tremendous technological leap, in the time of mists and drabness and dreams, if back then, without passwords, we managed just the same, even in black and white, and certainly not in hi-def, or even 3-D, how strange to think we had to change everything or we would not be managing at all.

i want my child to have this♥

take that, Rihanna.

and for the last injection of some fun in my otherwise mugger-ish life, here's inception, Singapore style.

I want need the bell curve to shift left. DESPERATELY. :/

on the plus side, i finally got google to block the search of this url.

run baby run, don't ever look back♥

Dear runners,

This is the start of a 23 day marathon. One in which the old, balding vultures are circling, waiting for you to collapse so that they can devour you (or your promising bright future), all the way from England. One which you can't stop running and shouldn't ever look back on the road you took to get here. One which you can't afford to lose, because it could well be the hardest race you've ever run or ever will run- as some ex-runners will tell you. Its short-term pain for long-term gain or short-term respite and extended suffering and regret. Pick one. Any one. Preferably the right one.

You've worked for it, trained for it, took your first steps at least. Now's the time to show the world what you're made of. And show them what you can do.

And I have a promise that I want to keep now that 18 years have passed in this long life.

So run, run like you've never run before. Because like it or not, your entire 12 years boils down to the 3 hours in which you show what you can do. Can you do it?

Mind over matter. Or really, just mind. Whether you're prepared or not, the race is just beginning and the clock ticks down. 23 days to the start of a new beginning.



On your mark, get set, go.

sick and tired..♥

Or maybe just sick.
I've slept enough to not be tired.
...

I think my sails jammed.

more like a lack of guilt here♥

When you do something, anything, that you've decided to do (especially that which may be wrong and you know it), be prepared to take the consequences. But most of all, I believe that if you do something, you do it without regret and without feeling guilt. If you know you're going to feel guilty, don't do it.

After all, nothing is illegal unless you get caught.

Down to single digits now.

Sometimes you wish people would understand you and be able to see past those walls (to the door). Maybe you secretly wish for it to happen sometime. But it's also probably a mark of strength (I guess) to be able to hide everything so well no one can see past anything that people don't know when their words hurt or passing jokes that, because it doesn't happen to them, doesn't come across as hurtful.

I don't think we should play down anything people say, especially when it is obviously a problem they face. Even if you think you know that person, you really may not. But you can't and shouldn't play it up either or you'd just make it worse for them.

Perhaps the reason why I envy (and salute) kids because problems are never that complicated when you're a child. And for someone with the least problems, you can actually help those who've lost the childhood innocence out.

Faith is the confident belief or trust in the truth or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
But faith can also change- which is why 'have faith' will never be part of my vocabulary. Plus, blindly believing or trusting can make you forget to see whats directly in front of you -and pitfalls will await.

No one will ever truly trust someone. There's always going to be a part of you that's preparing for the worst.

this one's for xkcd,♥

gamers of that stupid frog game,

idealistic romantic fools,


stupid people who write stuff on the road like

Ahead
Hump

and for you math geeks who've destined me to suck at math.

#812 and waiting for the next

write it on the skyline♥

Maybe its me that disillusioned and not them.

Because I have stopped believing in the world and now I'm standing alone with this view that we are too sheltered to see the truth. That whatever you think is shit should have been expected once you left the cosy comforts of school, once you've grown up. That whatever you complain about, you shouldn't. And it really pisses me off that you just relentlessly complain and complain. Overtime? Additional work? People being annoying? Stress? I may complain but at least I know its expected. And I could have had it worse. And its probably going to get worse but I'm going to deal with it. For now, I'm just thankful its not and I would have thought you would too.

Face it, you're not a child. This is just the beginning of the real world. And if you had been, or even are mature enough, you should have expected this. So how can I sympathise and offer those 'encouraging words' girls are supposed to be good at? Be practical. Whatever I say anyway, there comes a day you're going to have to face that this is how things work. The only thing you want to hear now is people taking your side- yes people dump too much on you, yes you shouldn't have to stay late- but that would be telling you a blatant lie. Stop being one of those self-absorbed individuals who can't take a bit more than what your parents have put on you. You, the precious child, the Me generation. And you wonder why people say that our generation is the Generation Me? Deal with it and stop complaining.

Just like in today's Today- the parent blames the education system for her daughter not liking Chinese. Stop pointing fingers when as a parent, the first person you should look at when it comes to matters pertaining to your child is yourself. Why your little emperor/empress grew up like that is because of you. If you had done the right things, why would he/she be like that? Or did you not think of that? The whole world might be screwed up, the system might be flawed. But if your child was brought up with grounded beliefs and values, even if the world were to change, he/she'd still survive untouched. That's why even though the world may engage in premarital sex, drugs, booze and all that can harm, people can still walk away without even touching these 'evils'. Everything begins from family.

But you know what? Maybe this is just flawed in itself because I haven't actually grown up yet (and so, have the apparent lack of right to argue about this because I'm younger). But I should admit here that I highly doubt I'm mature. Actually most people won't but for me I know that's a fact.

Still, maybe I'm the one that's disillusioned here. Go ahead and poke holes in my 'argument'- I won't stop you.