:'(

thoughts

met this guy who's a final year dentistry student from perth today. he's really interesting and it felt kind of good to be talking to someone who knows stuff that u know. and i realised that i'm enjoying (even more now) conversing with locals (australians). either they are interesting people or asians/singaporeans are just boring people.

now that i'm back home, i thought i would be able to enjoy life and not think of anything. but i don't know why, once again, i've been thinking about a lot of things that's making me v worried + confused. would really appreciate people around me to not make me more worried + confused about things. like sometimes, maybe just leave me alone? i don't know what to do to make myself feel better. :( and i'm really bad at dealing with relationships (with family and friends).. sighh.

pray.

holiday plans

i will be doing lots of dental-related stuff here in sg during this summer break. and somehow i'm not looking forward cause i really want a break from all things that are related to uni. i just feel kind of forced (by circumstances) to participate. but I guess these are opportunities that I shouldn't miss. i don't want to look back and regret and say shit, why didn't i go for it.


going do some check-ups for maids this saturday at a friend's mum's clinic. feeling lazy to read up on history taking and examination, oral hygiene instructions, radiography etc etc etc . i'm just back for less than a week and i have to look through those notes AGAIN.

and i'm going for an attachment with nus dentistry for a week in january. hopefully the rest of my friends would have already started their sem then we can do meet-ups!

thinking if i should do a temp job (already applied and got a couple of offers) not related to dent.. maybe i should, instead of bumming around and spending lots of $$. =/

post-exams

exams ended on a really bad note. :'( ahh shall not talk about it. its over and all i can do is to pray hard that things will turn out fine somehow.

went karaoke at night after dinner and sang till 3am (: LOLL the guys were so funny that they made me laugh so hard. i guess everyone really needed to unwind v badly after exams.

had to pack and move my stuff to pam's and oony's place after exams because i'm moving out of my current place. SO DAMN TIRING. packing almost killed me. had only 3 hours of sleep for the last two days cause there's just too many things to pack. totally shocked at the amount of stuff that accumulated over 2 years. i think i had 15 boxes/bags of stuff. but had two friends to help with the moving. awww the guys were really sweet can. but i seriously feel so bad that they had to carry so many things in the rain and gerard's car got damaged (though not serious) :(

the weather's so nice today (: going to safeway and vic market to buy some stuff to bring back home. and going DFO south wharf to shop later. life's good after exams (:

clinical exam is overrrr

it went pretty okay. but i really really hope to do better than to just pass. our demonstrators are very strict with the marking so its just going to be difficult to predict the marks =(

next is neuroscience. ouchhh. studying neuroscience just kills my brain cells. one by one.

=(

:'(

come on, just stop thinking about it and move on.

thankyou!

msn conversation with mr x:

(he was asking me how's things going and i was just telling him that things aren't v good)

mr x says:
COME ON LEONA GOH
WE SHARE THE SAME SURNAME!
MUST ALL THE WAY DE!!!
WUUUUU
hahahahahahaa

leona says:
HAHA NOOOOO. u r WU! not GOH!

mr x says:
wah lau
i am a goh la
just my dad is wu

leona says:
fine. seriouslyyy,
i dunno how i'm going to endure all the exams for the next 3 years. its just going to get worse

mr x says:
wahh
caannnnn oneeee
miss goh!
u gotta goh for it
and do ur best k! hahahaha
omg,the punnn
smile smileeee

etc etc

i think this conversation managed to cheer me up a little. thank you mr x!
i really need to learn from my friends. they r so strong and positive. not like me. i can't take setbacks. =(
thankyou friends for your encouragement!

touched

i'm really touched by what my family have done/ been doing for me. but it makes me feel really bad at the same time cause i don't think i deserve all that.

love my family so much.

:(

exams are depressing :(

restless

i'm feeling very restless, so i decided to add some elements into this blog.
i've been regularly reading some blogs which i thought are interesting (a number of them are food blogs -- yummm! ). i feel that its kind of addictive. like you'll check the blogs out everyday to see what's new.

oh and i like to read Taiwanese celebrities' blogs (which i didn't put the links here).


i need to get into the mood of studying.

AA

repeat after me:

actinobacillus actinomycetemcomitans

and try saying,

actinomyces israelii and actinobacillus actinomycetemcomitans causes actinomycosis

yes this is the sort of thing i have to memorise in microbiology. all the bacteria, viruses and fungi names + characteristics + diseases they cause, names of antibiotics etc etc. the list just goes on and on and on.

=/

new look!

changed the look of this blog (for fun). just trying to distract myself from all the studying.
okayy i'm going to try to update more stuff from now on though i think its not very possible cause exams are coming. booo :(

here's some random pics taken at the preclinic / clinic:

this is my workstation (very messy i know). our mannequins do not have a body. looks so stupid right.




this is in the clinic where we did polishing, topical fluoride application etc. for each other (which was pretty fun):



got 2 assignments (which are driving me crazy =x) due, 1 oral presentation to prepare and 1 test this week =//

:(

how i wish some things will just go the way i want them to be.

twenty one!

had a very lovely birthday in melb (: big thanks to everyone for their birthday wishes! (:


spoke to my family at night and there was just so much warmth when they wished me happy birthday.
received some unhappy news though :( :( :( worried for my loved ones and i want to be by their side. but i need to be strong here in melb so my family (esp my mum) would not have to worry about me.
i'll keep praying.

holidays are overrr.

3 days of the new semester have passed. and i'm starting to sink into reality that holidays have ended. rahhh.
and i was just telling a friend that i want to go back singapore! i know u people out there must be thinking, what nonsense is this right! third day back in melb and i'm already saying that i want to go home. but, i really want to go homeee! had too much fun during the holidays and the feeling of going back to uni is just simply described by one word. SIAN.

but then again, i must say that the hols this time around felt longer than what i expected it to be. so i shall not be so complainy since i had my fair share of fun and its time to go back to the books.

first week of holidays was just eating, eating and eating with my family. my daddy and jie brought me to some very nice food places which they went to when i was in melb. and i was terribly full for ALL meals (including breakfast), can u just imagine the amount I ate!

attended my jie's commencement and i'm felt sooo proud of her completion of the chem engin degree. she deserved a very big pat on her back, after going through all the semesters of hard-core studying in the very competitive environment. [= and congrats Jie for getting a job very quickly! looking forward to her starting work, so I have more money to spend =D heh. that's what a little sister is for right!
and i just can't wait for my turn to wear the graduation gown and collect that scroll. dec 2013, can u come faster please!

i enjoyed my 21st birthday party very very much. simple affair (in fact, its not exactly a party. just a gathering sort of thing.) but that's what i wanted. and biggest thanks to my family and friends who penned down wonderful memories for me in the past 20 years of my life. xoxo (:

JAY CHOU TOTALLY ROCKED my last week of holidays. went to his autograph session at bugis but i seriously didn't queue with the 6000 people to get his autograph. crazy crowd. but i caught a glimpse of him which was good enough! THE ERA concert was really the best concert (of the 3 jay chou concerts that i've watched so far). his stage presence was just AMAZING. totally worth every dollar and cent and i don't mind watching the same concert again! awww, he's just awesomee!
<3 <3 <3

this week of school is kind of relaxing. the professors have been ponning lectures. seriouslyy why didn't they tell us that there's no lecture! and we just sit there and stare at each other while waiting for the lecturer to appear.
and i don't understand why are we studying neuroscience. its not like we are going to tell our patients which part of the brain affects their tooth-brushing or something.

shall go back to watching my dramas (:

exams are FINALLY over

its 2.30am now. and i'm finally doing something else other than studying at this hour (:

exams ended on a good note. i think. physiology paper was managable but the preparation for the paper was seriously crazy. had to cram 36 chapters during the past 3 days after Dental Practice paper (which totally drained me) on monday. memorising all the body mechanisms is no joke. in physio, we learn about how the mechanisms in the body screw up and stuff. and here we are, sacrificing our sleep for exams, screwing up our body clock. how ironic right.
the singaporeans felt that this exam was worse than A levels cause it lasted for one whole solid month (including the swot vac). did A levels last for only 3 weeks? i cannot remember. ahh whatever. the fact is exams are over and we survived! (:

felt like shit during the exam period but then thankfully, there were some things that perked me up. like jay chou's concert in tw. watched some youtube videos (including the infamous performance with jolin). downloaded some cool apps for my iphone too that took my mind off studying for a while each day. on some days, i went out to grab my favourite scone/scroll from bakers delight for brekkie whenever i felt like i need some solid breakfast and this sort of made my day too.
and i know i sounded really stressed out/depressed in the previous blog posts. so thankyou to all my very supportive friends for the encouragement. =D

this weekend is going to be packed with lots of post-exam outings. not much time to pack to go home and i'm feeling lazy to pack too.

on a side note, i've already planned where i want to go (mostly food places) when i go back to sg. can't wait! i really love good food. hehe.

see u guys soon! :D

studying

i can feel that i'm losing steam. the feeling sucks.

i want my mummy and daddy.
yes i know i'm a spoilt brat.

4 more weeks

home is so near yet so far :(
exactly 4 more weeks and i'll be on the plane back to sg.
i want to be back home so so badly.

but first,
1 clinical exam, 5 theory papers.

hang in there.

exams are comingggg

just when i thought life was better this sem, things are starting to go downhill.

had heaps of fun during easter in sydney (good company + good food) and also had a nice time in melb with friends during the first half of the sem (housewarming parties, birthday parties, good brunches and dinners, karaoke, footy match etc).

been studying consistently but lately i've been feeling very sick and tired of studyingg and everything else that has to do with studying. its getting nowhere. so many subjects this sem: biochem, anatomy, physiology, human behaviour and devt, cons dent, perio and cario, oral biology. :( when i memorise one subject, i'll forget about what i've already studied for other subjects. this is just so bad.

and exam timetable is out. CRYYYYYY. start on the first day of exam and my last paper is on the last day of exam. called emirates to change my flight back to sg. felt like crying because i can't go home earlier. :( i want to go home asap.

there's so many things going on during this july and i was so looking forward. but now my holidays r shorter than i expected.

julyy!
*my sis graduation ceremony (i'm so proud that my sis has completed her chem eng deg!)
*my 21st
*friends' 21st
*JAY CHOU CONCERT! =D ROW 11. how awesome is that (:

happy for my nus friends who have completed their exams! YAYNESS! and to those ntu peeps, hanggg in there!


miss my family and friends very very much.

life is as such

JO! THANKS for your fb message PLUS tags (: glad that i talked to u cause it made me feel better. yup i'll TRY to dwell less on things and get some optimism from u. u too stress less okay?

ahhh if only i could do whatever i feel like doing.

like, go to bed and sleep when i'm super tired and already dozing off on my notes. and not feel guilty that i have not completed the chapters that i planned to revise. [ really miss those times when i could just sleep well throughout the night and not think about stuff on my bed ]

like, be anti-social and not go out with friends when i don't feel like it and just tell them "cause i don't feel like going anywhere". don't like the feeling of having to come out with excuses that i have something else on cause all i'll end up doing is to stay at home and have some quiet time with myself. [yes and i realised how much i like spending time with myself. had a morning walk after my 1st lesson ended yesterday. walked along lygon and grab my favourite hot cross bun from baker's delight. i felt kind of carefree (at least for a while)].

how i wish i won't feel guilty whenever i feel like i'm wasting time. its a horrible feelingggg :( i hate having to plan for the days ahead. like how i must study more today in case there are outings the next few days. it didn't used to be like that (before i came to melb). wonder what happened to me :( realised that whatever i talk about in here is somewhat related to study. but sometimes i feel that its not the amount of work that is driving me crazy, but rather its myself pushing myself too hard and there's nobody here to stop me. its like a positive feedback cycle. whenever i study ahead of my plan, i'll have excess time which i'll just use it to study more. and the cycle just goes on. sometimes i tell myself that even if i take things a bit easier, i'll still do fine. but i still can't do it though i'm trying hard. SIGHHH.

and deep in my heart, i know studies aren't worrying me the most. rather its the thing that starts with R. i know nobody can help me cause i need to answer the question myself and its just mindblowing. debb is always there for me whenever i need someone to talk about it. very grateful for this friend (: and whenever i mention this issue to my mum, she'll say some things and i'll just feel very bad. i don't want her to know that i'm at it again. not sure if i'm making the right decision or have i even decided on it. i really don't know.

1st two weeks of semester

i kind of like my timetable now. i have an almost free thurs every alternative week. but every other thurs are crazy; 8 - 5pm. the clinical sessions are towards the end of the week which give me something to look forward to.
Taking six sub-subjects this sem which makes it confusing and difficult to focus on the more important subjects. sighh.

1st two weeks of melb have been rather slack. been watching my taiwanese dramas and hanging out with friends. really miss the brunch here and i'm so glad that debb and i went for brunch at this awesome cafe at Balaclava (some suburb near st kilda). but there was a hailstorm that day so we were sort of stuck in the cafe and couldn't walk and look around.







have sort of finalised my easter plans! booked a ticket to sydney, will be spending about 1 week there (which is basically the whole easter week). i hope it'll be fun (:

so glad that i can listen to 933 online, it makes me feel like i'm at home in sg.
weather's turning cold but i like it =D

3 months of hols coming to an end;

thought maybe i should just update this blog even though i'm really busy with lots of stuff (sch stuff + packing) and time's really running out. 1 day left before i head back to melb.

how i wish this 3 months break wouldn't come to an end. but no such thing (yes i know).

out of the 3 months, i spent 2 months working. amazed at myself for being able to stay in that company for 2 months. its the most horrifying work i've ever did... and i've never complained so much in my life. sometimes i really wanted to blast at those pple but eventually i didn't. aiya, why should i even bother about them, that's what i'll tell myself. seriously. now that its OVER finally i shall (try) forget about the whole thing.

cny gathering with relatives and meet-ups with friends have been awesome (: kind of felt that cny was different this year for me. more warmth i guess <3
really love my family and friends.

will see everyone when i'm back in june/july. i know time flies.