hols

goshh i'm so enjoying singapore, even though i can't say that i've accomplished much since i came back. been driving around in dad's car, shopping around and watching dramas at home (most of the time) etc.

haven't got many plans for the hols...but i should probably make more plans since its a long 3 months break. okayy, i'm sort of looking for a job, but i'm being very picky and indecisive about what job i should take up. rejected a couple of jobs offered by the recruit agency, partly because of the pay. the agency pple talk to me so much about how i should just be contented with the pay they are offering cause its recession now (blah blah blah). its irritatinggggg.

my grandma's maid is at my house now and she's really quite pro i must say. she graduated from a uni in phillipines and she's talking to me about anatomy cause she knows i'm studying dentistry. she asked me what's the author/publisher of my anatomy text and she told me which text she used last time! O_o LOL (maids nowadays!) and she probably knows more than me cause i only studied head, neck and thorax.

next week would be a busier week, i reckon. more meet-ups! [and ben, if u r reading this, i'm so sorry for forgetting about dinner yesterday. next week or next next week will do dinner, i promise!]

i'll be getting back my results soon =(. it'll turn out fine, right?

for now, it'll be baking and exercising [badminton with yu ting just now was fun! :D]

exams r FINALLY over [and so is year 1]. this exam had practically wrung me dry as i felt really mentally and physically drained after my last paper. i didn't even had the energy to cry out for joy that exam's over. all the papers were okay (i think) but its really going to be hard to predict the marks. and that's the scary part :(

past few days were more or less, shopping + eating + sightseeing with mummy. and we were busy packing and spring-cleaning the apt. almost done with packing and i'm ready to go back sg tmr (:

see u guys.

mummy (:

yes i'm so enjoying the awesome home-cooked food that i'm having now. and of course my mum's company. hmmm but i have to admit that her presence is really quite distracting, to the extent that i cannot really concentrate on my studying. or maybe my small (but hopefully not too small) brain is just too saturated with all the knowledge that i cannot absorb anything.

its so scary how we have to memorise EVERY SINGLE THING in our notes and of course MORE from textbooks. there's no such thing as crapping stuff out for subjects like anatomy, embryology, histology and dent materials. seriouslyyy dent materials can drive me crazy.

STUDY.

[oh and melbourne's weather is totally crazy. =/ ]

last day of sch!

tmr is the official last day of sch, but no lessons for me tmr so today's actually my last day of sch.
and so, the next two weeks would be hardcore studying (i hope i won't be driven nuts. okay touch wood.) before i have my papers on the 3rd week. i have exams during the whole of 3rd week except tues. exams won't be so miserable as compared to sem 1 since its spring now (compared to the depressing winter during that time).

i cannot wait for my mummy to arrive next week! looking forward to awesome home-cooked food!

even more looking forward to going back to singapore! home sweet home (or rather, home sweat home!)

tired

feeling physically tired and mentally drained. =x haven't been studying really hard the past week, even though i should since i have less lessons the last week. but shouldn't i rest more now when i can afford the time, and reserve the energy i have for chionging for exams during the study break that is just coming up in 2 weeks time. i'm just confused over what i should do. i know i should relax or i'll just lose my stamina to study [which i'm so afraid that day might arrive :( ] but i'll feel guilty whenever i don't make use of my time to do something constructive (which i would define as studying). but again, there's just too much to study. no point telling myself that i'll relax once i'm done with the studying, cause that day won't come. received a bad news yesterday that we would be tested on the stuff we learnt in sem 1 for dental practice exam. that's so scary and crazy. have to really start revising already =x

suddenly feeling very emo-ish, after talking to my family for close to an hour. i feel really bad for always making my parents worry for me, knowing that i'm worried about some things. yes, my apartment. finding accomodation really sucks. i'm really comfortable staying at cs cause its just so convenient and my apartment is very spacious. but i don't want to pay so much esp since we don't need so much space. i would rather save on the rent and spend more on food. we (tricia and i) inspected smaller 2 bedrooms in cs, and we r kind of comfortable with the space though we wouldn't save a lot by moving to a smaller unit, but i guess it's (~$90 a month) still something. AND paying empty rent sucks totally. moving sucks too. sighh.
my dad, mum and sis were telling me not to worry cause they won't mind paying that 2 months of empty rent when i'm back in singapore. i feel very bad though. its like throwing a few thousands away. :(
and they were saying that we shouldn't move cause its too much of a hassle =x how!? i really don't know what to do. :(

my mum's always worried that i'll be worried :( even over small things. like just now i asked her if the uncooked rice can be kept over the few months when we r back in sg, and she said don't have to worry about it. ahhh i don't want my parents to worry about me :( but i guess it cannot be helped. just like how i cannot help feeling homesick. i just have the very sad feeling whenever my mum ask if i've been taking care of myself, like if i've been drinking the ginseng and essence of chicken etc. and my sis told my mum that i was craving for my fav marks and spencers' triple chocolate crunch and she wanted to buy to bring over when she comes in two weeks time, but worried that customs won't allow. and she was like "how?..(in the worrying tone)" Seriously, i wouldn't die without eating my trip choco crunch. i just don't want my mum to keep thinking too much for me. i feel horrible.

=(

WHEEEE

yes my exam timetable is out! thank GOD for the comfortable timetable! my exams are all on the 2nd week of exam (pretty well spread out) so it simply means,

^i have 2 weeks to prepare for the papers (1 week of swot vac and 1st week of exam)
^i can go back sg before the official exam period ends (glad that i'm not taking chem which is on the 3rd week)
^i can go back with my mum who's coming during my exam period!

i've decided the date to go back! can't wait!

live, love and laugh

i feel so blessed with abundant love from my family and friends. i do feel this way usually, but this feeling is especially strong today (:

spoke to my family for a long time just now in the evening (i think its the longest time we talked over the phone, excluding skype) and it made me really happy. i called my dad's mobile and he greeted me in an especially cheerful manner - it was quite funny now that i think of it (cause he sounded a bit high), but it felt really good. i love my daddy! and then we talked before passing the phone around to my mum and sis (as usual). every one sounded so happy and excited (not because i called... its just the occasionally 'high' feeling that we get from spending time together as a family). and this really makes me miss spending quality time with them. its the weekends when we would just spend time tgt at home either in front of the tv, or in our rooms where my dad would be playing comp games, and we would talk and laugh about stuff that can be really silly (especially making fun of my mum that makes us laugh like mad - my mum's just so cute!). yes, we sound crazy as a family (act childish and stuff), its just that nice and warm feeling that makes me feel very attached to my family. My family gives me strength and makes my life so purposeful. i feel so blessed =D

and my lao gong sent me an e-mail once again! :D love receiving her e-mails cause they make me laugh. i'm really thankful for her love! this e-mail was really funny cause she said how she saw the dental ball photos and said that i wanted to seduce some guys. and some guys were worthy to be her love rival. blah blah blah. yes she's just so crappy but i love her crappiness! i called her immediately (that's what i always do when i received her e-mail cause i'm just so excited to talk to her that i wouldn't want to reply by e-mail and wait for her reply. had quite a short conversation but it was nice catching up with her. just want to tell her to jiayou! i love her so much!

pam's really sweet to give tricia and me a mooncake cause we were just craving so much for it. my dad got lots of Tung Lok mooncakes (which are for goodness sake, super duper yummy) in singapore - I WANTTT TO EAT SO BADLY! i cannot wait to go back Singapore! the spring weather is crazy (wind, please stop blowing) and its making me wanting to go back singapore even more.

love all my family and friends!

<3

i love my sister so so much!

2 weeks break!

tmr's the official start of my two weeks mid term break! i'm actually not that excited over this break though there's lots of activities going on (will talk about them later). i'm quite comfortable with this sem's timetable that i don't mind not having any break. (yes please just let me end my semester soon and i can go back singapore earlier!). after all i think i might be studying more if i have lessons and i'll spend less money on shopping. shopping's been quite nice cause its spring sale! winter's FINALLY over. or should i say winter's FINALLY over! quite neutral towards the fact that winter has ended... winter's good cause the weather's quite predictable (its just cold, and no other crazy weather). but spring's been really quite bad so far, with some days that r cold and some days that r warm. =x

tmr i'm heading to mornington for a short 3 days trip. quite rushed even though this trip was planned pretty long ago, but feeling shagged after dental ball (which i'm so damn relieved that its over!)..its kind of a good thing that the trip's tmr cause it just mean that i'll be busy in a row and after that i have time to study for my upcoming anatomy flagrace test. feeling guilty for not studying for so many days though.

birthday celebration for friend, royal melbourne show, rock climbling (still undecided whether i should go), picnic, stayover at friend's house, karaoke... ahh so much activities during the hols. can i not go and just nua at home?

ahhhhh i miss my family!

=(

this fri (today) is so different from last friday. i'm feeling really upset over some stuff (with myself especially). anyway just glad that its over. but then its not totally over since its a weekly thing. am i going to be depressed over this thing next week and next next week and so on?! seriously i hope not. i know there's nothing i should be confused about or nobody that i should be responsible to for this thing, but then its just so difficult to do it the way i want. there's other pple involved and i cannot just simply ignore. wanted to tell deb about it but she sounded happy when i called her just now so didn't want to spoil her mood with my problems. talked to yuting about it online...it was really a good timing that she came online just when i wanted to talk to her.

i'm such a confused person. :(

1 month back in melb

time really flies. the fifth week of sch has just ended.

i feel kind of good now (like this moment), for some reason. cause maybe its friday night. but i don't usually feel like that on fridays in melb. i love friday nights in sg, cause i have nothing to worry about since work can be left for the weekends. and weekends! i love having nice dinners with my family. [pardon me for talking about home again]. just so glad to have a sg landline here (i love starhub for that!), so i can call any sg line for free. YAYNESS! yes and so i've been calling home every day. but i feel more homesick after that though. :( i just love my family so so much!

and i'm really thankful to be in touch (regularly) with my closest friends [esp yuting, my laogong and shu yi] =D i call my laogong almost everyday, and we talk to each other like before when i was still in sg. it feels so good that everything hasn't changed. really treasure my dears =D i get really touched when i receive an sms from sg asking how am i doing etc. oh i love sms-ing yuting dear! =D and i really hope they'll jiayou for the stressful uni life in sg! i really want to be there for them when they need someone cause they are really ALWAYS there for me when i need them. love them! yup things will EVENTUALLY be fine (that's how i always psycho myself). we'll pull through! =D [haha but seriously, if i'm given a choice, i would rather be stressed in sg than in melb.]

glad that this sem is not as stressful as last sem. but its still stressful taking histology & embryology and anatomy. had 2 sessions of anatomy dissection (we don't dissect this sem, we only study the dissected parts). its not that scary i guess. like even when we see the head only. got lots more to talk about anatomy disssection (and other things)- after all, i haven't been updating for so long. busy and plain lazy i guess.

hmmm i've been thinking a lot since i came back. sighhh, if only things were simpler. really want to write all my thoughts down here, but its really hard to organise everything. even telling someone about it can be difficult. cause i'll just end up with a "i-dunno-la"... it just difficult to express some things.

shall talk about more light-hearted things... was craving for durian the past few days and so i went freddos with pam, debb, stef and tricia to eat my durian ice-cream! it was heavenly! okay i know i sound desperate. lol. freddos really rocks! =D =D =D

i need to go karaoke so badly! its not very expensive here and the songs that i sing are available. its just the company - where's my kbox kakis :(

home's still the best.

back in melb

well, i'm now sitting at my living room with my fleece blanket over me (its freezing!) as i use the sch's wireless internet. i suspended my dial-up internet for the month of july cause i think its not worth it to pay for internet the whole month just for the last few days of usage in july. it's lucky that my apt faces the sch so i can use the uni's wireless. but then again, it means having to sit at the living room where it is so cold! ohhh well. was quite upset about the internet thing, but sighh, there's nothing that i can do anyways.

dent camp last weekend was just super duper rowdy. lots of drinking and crazy games. lol, and it's the first time i drank till i became a bit tipsy. at least its better than those seniors who were dead drunk. sometimes it makes me really wonder whats wrong with these pple... the seniors drank volka as if they were drinking water. lol.

i realised that my timetable for this sem is not as bad as it seems, esp since i managed to get exemption for part of a subject. but i hope i don't start slacking. i need to continue to work hard (: quite surprised at my grades for last sem. it was better than i expected (cause i seriously thought i would fail the dent subject). i'm really thankful that my results came out fine. love all those who gave me so much encouragement and support - esp my family <3 , yuting, shu yi and amy!

will jia you for this sem!

bye singapore; hello melb

i'm left with less than 1 day in singapore. =(

okayy i'll go sleep now cause i have to continue packing tmr.
good night everyone.

worried

its just so worrying.

humph

i'm feeling angry with someone. its always that same person who's making me angry and upset. sighh. why!

and i feel like complaining about that person to u (cause that's what i've been doing) , but then again, i know u will tell me the same thing which i choose not to listen, or rather, i should say, i have my own difficulties.

i feel really bad to trouble people :(

upset.

ouchhh

just had my lower right wisdom tooth extracted this afternoon.

although this extraction has spoiled my plans for the next few days [i need rest and no strenous exercise =x ], i'm quite glad that the pain came at the right time. i won't want to experience the pain when i'm in melb, cause it'll cause a bomb to do an extraction in melb.

dr kuan asked me why can't i ask my seniors/prof do the extraction for me [cause apparently in nus, they do have this kind of practice]. previously when i thought i might need a filling in melb, i checked with evan (a fourth year senior), and he said it's not allowed in the sch... haha if only it's allowed, it'll be so shiok to receive free dental treatment.

thoughts

i read a note that my friend from dent wrote on fb, and i feel very strongly for it, esp this paragraph,

"when for weeks you've been praying for wisdom, trying to seek God's will, seeking a direction or a kind of certainty, trusting in faith and comforted only by the promise that the Lord will answer your prayers in His own good time.. and just when you begin to feel a little too weary, the Lord answers your call for help, and gives you a very certain assurance that He will direct your paths!"


and so i keep my family and friends in prayer =D

2 weeks of home

have been home for 2 weeks already (damn fast!)
yes its just awesomeee to be back home, spending time with the family and friends and myself.

and i'm really enjoying myself, doing lots of things:
*meet-ups with friends [lots of photos to be photoshopped and uploaded!]
*meet-up with ex-colleagues [its so heart-warming to know that they r very concerned abt me (: love them! ]
*spending time with my family [shopping with mum/sis; eating nice food with dad; family gatherings]
*watching boys over flowers [thanks to debbie who saved the episodes onto my hard disk. i think the show's damnnn nice! but i'm really slow at watching, don't think i can complete before going back to melb]
*playing the piano [i'm glad i still rmb how to play my fav songs]
*gym-ing quite intensively [doing lots of cross-training/threadmill, hopefully i can lose weight quickly. and i need more determination to cut down on my diet]
*driving [my dad allows me to drive longer distances, =D ]
*baking [my new lovee <3, but this is bad cause i'm eating lots of the things that i bake]
*watching tv [my tw and hk shows ((: ]

and moreee!

but somehow even now that i'm back in singapore, some things r still weighing on my mind.

and results. i find it really difficult to not worry about my results [i don't know when its going to be out]. damn scaredd.

please give me hope.

home sweet home

everything's fine and good. thank god.

its just so nice to back home ((: except maybe the weather.
the weather's so damn hot. haven't perspired ever since i went melb. okay i think i'm already missing melb's cold weather. was like less than 10deg this morning and now its 30plus deg here. oh mannn.

my mum's cooking dinner tonight... smells damn good (:

singapore, here i come

cause of swine flu, all my plans for this winter break have changed..

hmm.

i'm going back to singapore next week. but have not decided on the date that i should book my ticket (though seriously, i should make up my mind latest by tmr in case there's no more seats available). justin's flying back on thurs, tricia most prob also, so i guess thurs would be good (all 3 of us are so going to wear masks) though i thought the earlier the better (like next tues or wed). but i need some time to clean up the house and pack my stuff.

have to shop like crazy the next few days before i go back cause now's the end-of-financial-year sale in aust. lots of good sales which singapore's GSS cannot compare to.

ohhh and i have to forfeit my sydney ticket :( cause i'll most prob stay in singapore till third week of july (must maximise my stay in singapore since flying back is not cheap and to make things worse - the exchange rate). told mitch about it and he also agrees with me, and he's sort of changing his plans to coming to melb. oh man how can he come to melb when i'm not around.

anyways, i have so much things to do when i'm back in singapore. i'm so going to eat all my fave food and go to my fave hangouts with my dearies. =D i need to play my piano, watch my tv, revise driving my dad's car, and lots of other stuff. lol, we singaporeans that r going back are going to have nice bakchormee tgt (we call it the BCM outing) and i'm kind of afraid of the weather back in singapore, though its freaking cold here that sometimes i rather feel warm (but not sticky).

(happy stuff aside..)i feel so moody/grumpy nowadays and its making me v mean. i hate being mean :(

oh finally exams and sem 1 ended. well i'm going to forget everything that happened in sem 1 and start life anew in sem 2. its going to be a better sem. definitely.

sighhh

yes i know i shouldn't be posting anything now (and anytime till next thurs) cause i still have so so many chapters to cover within these few days before i step into the exam hall at royal exhibition centre next tues [oh man, and i need to check out the exact location of my exam venue]. shall give myself 10-15 mins of break before i'll continue with the studying :( damn stressed.

(ok here i go again,)
i feel like crying [and i do cry] whenever i think of my pre-exam life in singapore. i totally miss my mum's birdnest and ginseng. and my dad/sis's car ride to somewhere to chill out at night whenever i'm totally sick of studying. they'll be more than willing to drive me to have some nice coffee and it really helps so much to get away from the books just for a while. and and, i don't have to worry about dozing off while studying on my bed, cause my daddy or mummy will wake me up early next morning automatically so that i can study. i can always look forward to (extra) nice meals prepared by my mum during our exams cause she knows my sis and i need good food to destress. etc etc

sigh sigh sigh :'(

its just so different now that i'm here alone to fight the battle :( ok i think i sound spoilt but seriously, i cannot help it..its damn sad to be away from your family when u need them the most.

anyway its almost confirmed that i'm not going back to singapore this winter break :( but i'll be going to sydney to look for mitch (booked the ticket already :) ). okay i think skyping with him yesterday really made me feel better, cause he's been through what i'm going through now, though i can still say its different. managed to tell him some stuff, but like what i told him, so much has happened (i can write a book, like seriously) and its not possible to tell him over skype over that hour. anyways, i'm telling myself not to think so much, its not going to help, especially now what i need most is to FOCUS on my exams prep.

and why must it be so gloomy during winter! :( i need to keep my life bright.

((:

was looking for new songs to download cause my itunes has been so deprived of new chinese songs. and i clicked on the top few downloaded songs. clicked on this song by pan wei bo, and i totally got addicted to the song. lol and after listening for more than 10 times then i realised that its written by jay((:

he made my day (:

finally

yes finally i'm done with my last test before exams. and i'm glad that things turned out ok and i felt much better after the test as compared to the previous tests. but i really pray hard that the results will turn out fine. now i'm starting to have some hope already (:

been studying so much the last few days, cramping all the reproduction, genetics, anatomy, pharmacology stuff into my poor brain. i could really feel how saturated my brain was, cause i couldn't absorb any more info like about 2 days ago. so i went to zi qiang's place to study (for a change of study environment) which i felt quite bad for imposing on him and his housemate. they sleep really late, like 5am so i could stay till late to study. i'm really quite amazed at how i really studied till 3.30am before he drove me back. (and even more amazed at how i slept at 4am for 2 consecutive days without feeling tired. must be my mum's ginseng =) ) they had wireless in the house which tempted me so much to use the internet. so i skyped yuting (: told her a whole lot of things that i was so unhappy about and i felt really better after telling her (: yess she makes me happy! and her encouragement really helps a lot.

going for buffet at crown with the dent pple now. yes today we can enjoy ourselves before we start chionging for the exams. oh my, i'm scared :(

AND i really want to thank everyone for your encouragement. i'll hang on (:

(:

I CAN DO IT (:

I'M SO PISSED WITH YOU.

i find my studying pace slowing down. whyy, i just don't understand. its not like i've studied a lot in the day that i have all the time to slack at night. been skyping a lot with family and friends which i cannot really help it cause i really miss them a lot. i'm really scared and worried for this test cause it means a lot to me. but tan yuting told me to believe in myself and so i'll try to (:

been coughing really badly... esp at night. ok maybe that's why i study v little at night cause i don't see myself being productive - coughing while studying. my cough is damn irritating.


i'm pissed at someone for always affecting my mood. sian.

((:

suddenly everything else didn't matter.

with so much love from YOU, YOU and YOU.

song from shu yi (thanks dear):
Leona Lewis - Footprints In The Sand

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I'm going

You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown
Along the way
Then I heard you say

(Chorus)
I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow
And despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid

And just when I
Have thought I'd lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on
Thats when I heard you say

(Chorus)
I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow
And despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

When I'm weary
Well, I know you've been there
And I can feel you when you say

I promise you (you)
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sadness (when your heart)
And despair (and despair)
I'll carry you
When you need a friend (need a friend)
You'll find my footprints in the sand

(I promise you)
(I'm always there)
When your heart is full of sadness (sadness)
And despair (And despair)
I'll carry you (I'll carry you)
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

i love my daddy, mummy and jie so much!

<3

i woke up this morning and somehow i just burst out crying. my sis called cause i text her. and she asked if i needed dad to fly over and accompany me...but i said there's no need. but later my mum called and talked to me and she sounded really worried. i guess its because she knows that i must be feeling quite bad before i would cry in front of them. she told me that my sis would be flying to melb next fri to spend the weekend with me. i'm feeling kind of confused cause i know i want my sis to be here with me, but then again, i'm already so busy with sch work with 2 tests coming up.. although my sis says she'll just keep me company but i'll feel bad if she just stay at home with me cause i want to bring her around. i want to chiong my work now so there's more time to spend with her next weekend but i just cannot bring myself to do it. i need a decent break.

my laogong wrote me an e-mail and the subject was "LAOPO". i felt soooo touched when i was reading it cause she seldom talk sense into me. our conversations are always so light-hearted and we didn't like talking about stuff that r more than simple-minded. anyway when i read the e-mail, i could just imagine her talking to me cause its so "her". i couldn't stop smiling when skyping with her cause my internet was so lag that sometimes the screen would just freeze and the image would be v funny cause she's in some weird position and having a weird expression. i love her so much (:

yeah i was at debbie's room last night cause i needed someone to watch kangxi with me. it made me feel better. she also talked some sense into me. its times like this that i feel that i need people to talk some sense into me so i won't think too much.

quite looking forward to tmr cause i have some time to spend with myself. i seriously need some time alone.

:(((

lots and lots of things running through my mind now, as usual. the feeling really really sucks. having lots of mixed feelings too.

i really miss my life back in singapore so badly. had so much fun in sch whether its in jc or in nus. in jc, i didn't mug during weekdays cause either i watched tv the whole day or had cca till night. i could just sleep anytime i want (often on the sofa while waiting for the next show to start cause cable tv channel 55 always have that 15 mins break between shows that u cannot do anything constructive but just wait for the next show to start so i always end up sleeping without brushing my teeth [oops] and my mummy will have to drag me to my nice cosy bed and tug me to sleep (awwww)). and i'll wake up in the morning and carry the same stuff that i carried to sch the previous day [ my file was always exploding cause i didn't file any worksheets. lol. ] and saturday was rushing-the whole-week-of-tutorial day for me. i'll be a nice girl sometimes and wake up early on saturday to accompany my mum to the market. and and..sunday was FAMILY day [ i miss having breakfast almost every other sunday - the damn delicious wanton mee at the coffeeshop in siglap (oppo haig girls sec) with my dad and sis and then fetch my mum from church after that]. we often have to wait for like an hour for that reasonably-sized bowl of wonton mee but we didn't mind the waiting though we always wonder why its always taking so long despite the fact that its not that difficult to prepare.] we'll also go to the club [seletar country club where i will gym away all the sinful meals i had during the week or raffles town club where we will have nice dinner (: ]. if not, quite often we'll go try some other nice eating place that my dad recommends, like claypot rice at clementi, food at changi airport cause he has discount etc etc. AND i miss the ever so sinful buffet meals that we have quite frequently. i'm dying to eat grand corpthorne's cafe brio's buffet. i wonder what's the cuisine they r serving now :(. my parents love bringing us out and they will always tell me not to study so hard [though i feel that i didn't study that hard to deserve all the outings]. i love my daddy and mummy for that (: my dad especially likes to ask us to watch tv with him - his F1 races, japan hour, discovery channel etc. and recently (as in when i was still in sg], he kept watching my ch 55 hk dramas and sometimes the taiwan shows (which he claims is lame but he watches it TOO. oh well. lol] in the early morning. so when i watch, he'll say he watched it before and he can tell me the sypnosis. ahh my dad's so cute (: oh and i simply don't understand why i keep watching the repeats for the same show even though the episodes aren't that fantantic. its such a waste of time but i enjoyed it so much.
i love hanging around in sch (nj)... slacking during breaks and talking crap and eating whenever we r at the canteen [desserts and bao. lol]. its not that we have nothing to do, we just love to slack. and CO was so enjoyable even though the practices were frequent and tiring and our section always got niao by the conductors and mr lee. after cca would be dinner at curry wok or kap. and we'll stay till around 10plus before we'll leave for home. my parents nv ever blame me for going home late. my dad or jie will sometimes fetch me after dinner or if i take the bus, my mum will ask me to call her when i'm reaching so she'll fetch me from the bus stop. ouch i miss my family like crazy.

ok i feel weird pouring everything out here...i honestly don't like to write about my life in detailed cause my blog is not private. but somehow, for some emo-ish reason, i have an urge to do it. hopefully it'll help me feel better though i think i'll flood my room with my tears in no time.

yes (and finally the main point) i really feel like my life's so different here. and i'm not adapting and managing my life here well. i'm not coping well with sch work especially. its so depressing that i've been consistently studying so hard, just to get some shit grades. i hate to compare with others cause i've been telling myself that i've tried my best and nothing else should matter so much. and comparing will only make me feel worse. but its seriously tough especially with the singaporeans around. they make me feel worse cause they have that singaporean mentality (if u know what it is) that is always influencing me to think like them. it gets quite annoying. how ironic that the singaporeans r the ones who upsets me. somebody please save me.

i wouldn't say i regret coming here cause after all its my choice and i know i want dentistry. i expected some not-so-smooth-sailing life over here but now that i'm experiencing it, i feel that reality has striked me. and its just hard to deal with it even if u r expecting it.

i skyped with my lao gong last night till 3am and she made me smiled. i couldn't bear to cry in front of her cause she looked so happy now that her exams ended. and i'm really happy for her.

i'm taking a break tonight. i'll pray hard that things will improve for the better. and i'll stop being a baby and keep crying.

still homesick

i thought things would improve. but it didn't... i'm so afraid that i might irritate my (singapore) friends when i keep telling them i'm terribly homesick. and its like they can't help much also. and i myself don't know what they can do to make me feel better. i just needed to tell some of my friends about my homesickness cause i cannot bear to tell my family. they will worry about me and i hate it when they do so. whenever my parents/jie ask me to take care of myself over the phone, i just could almost burst out crying. i simply don't want to cry over the phone. but i think its a matter of time that i'll just burst out crying over the phone cause its just too hard to control my emotions.

i'm so disappointed with myself for screwing up the second test. i could say i did my best whether its the studying part or the actual test. but it just didn't turn out the way i wanted it to be. sigh. why does this ALWAYS ALWAYS happen? hate to think that i'm stupid and lousy and unlucky and whatever but i seriously cannot help it. ohh man, i'm finding it so difficult to breathe in this course cause its just so demanding and everyone is darn smart. i mean there's hardly any time u can slack. its super hiong. =x and its only the first year... what's going to happen in the later years. for first year, we'll just have to pass cause its not counted towards honours. hate to use this to console myself whenever i think i did badly for something cause its just so sad. sigh sigh sigh. i'm taking things too hard, especially when it comes to results. its useless to tell myself to be stronger, cause its really easier said than done.

really grateful to my friends and loved ones who are keeping me in prayer. appreciate everyone's love (:

moody

i'm officially homesick. i so want to see my daddy, mummy and jie [especially my jie] :( :( :( i really miss them so much. sighhh studying for ibs made me so depressed that i cannot stop feeling sad and crying. i feel so demoralised whenever i think about ibs. i need support from my family so badly!

getting v moody nowadays. lots and lots of things running through my mind that i'll just feel like breaking down whenever i cannot take it anymore. its just so torturous that i have to pretend that i'm alright and taking things easy. the only good thing is that i have pam around to give me some support [i'll always call and talk to her when i'm feeling so terrible], but still, i don't dare to cry in front of her (though i'm dying to] cause i think she'll worry about me, and this is bad cause she is already stressed by sch. i love pam so much.

went ballarat today with a group of friends. wasn't in the mood to enjoy myself. anyway i slept really late last night (past 4am) and woke up at 7 today cause we were meeting at southern cross station. am tired now but i don't feel like sleeping yet. somehow now i feel that i dislike sleeping. what's wrong with me. i'm going to wake up early to do some gym tmr cause i think i put on a lot of weight. i seriously hate to put on weight.

i'm feeling so terrible :(

just another day

had clinic (that's how we call our clinical session) today. my mind totally drifted [maybe due to late hours]. not thinking of anything but also not concentrating on what the nurse was saying. felt sad cause i like clinics compared to the other boring lectures and i actually didn't enjoy the session. we are having clinic this thurs again. hopefully it will turn out fine this time.

made pancakes after dinner today and called debbie and jas over for some pancakes. its just so nice to have friends staying in the same place cause there's company (:

not sure what's the arrangement during the winter break.. have to arrange soon! maybe my parents are coming over [it'll be cool if they come, i can bring them around!] or maybe i'll go back singapore. i miss everyone!

:(

feeling sad again! i hate it when bad stuff keeps happening cause just when u start to get over the previous thing, another one comes along.

i'm getting v clumsy and careless nowadays :( always bump onto stuff at home and get bruises on my knee. always get cuts/burns when cooking. and i just spoiled the pyrex ware lid. so my pyrex does not have a lid. damn sad cause i use it to cook shephard's pie and bake apple crumble with it. and pyrex is expensive :(

quite sad that i've no one here to talk to about such trivial stuff (except maybe pamella).. okay i guess actually its not that my friends won't listen, its just that i don't want to bother them about such stuff. it'll sound quite silly also right.

i'm becoming quite emotional over small (of course also big) things :( hope things'll get better.

the daylight savings started yesterday which means we have an extra hour. its only a 2 hours time diff from singapore now. that's good.

the sg/aussie exchange rate is getting lousier. i need to start saving more money.

sigh

i'm feeling stressed. not really looking forward to easter hols even though we've got some plans cause there's lots of work to catch up during the week. everything's moving at such a fast rate that its really difficult to breathe. i really wonder how the dent pple in nus can survive. seriously. or prob i think i might be able to survive better in singapore since i've got direct support from my family. being in aust, i have to endure everything by myself. i feel as if its exam period all the time. yes that's how stressful it is. pretty worried that i won't be able to cope. sighhh.

okay unhappy stuff aside, i'll be going ballarat during easter for a one-day trip with some of the dent pple. then we'll also go to one of the suburb on another day. hopefully it'll be fun.

i need to stop:
#1 shopping [spent so much during march (it hit four-digit, omg), cause there's the end-of-summer sales]
#2 watching my taiwan shows on youtube. [ its so addictive i swear, that i just cannot stop opening new tabs to load the videos.]
#3 sleeping past 2am and 3am everyday. [yes i know its bad for health but i need to study and at the same time, watch my shows.]
#4 eating so much [its really scary. cause easter is coming, so there's lots of cheap and damn good chocs around - i love the tiramisu choc that i just bought. could finish the whole big bar in 2 days. and just had dinner + dessert at lygon with the singaporeans. i feel so full now ]
#5 worrying [i really really cannot help it :( ]


good luck to me.

hopefully,



thanks to ziqiang who sent me this.

upset

seriously i don't know what's wrong with me. i need to stop thinking about it and stop letting it affect my morale. i'm really tired of crying but i just cannot help it. i need strength. i need to be stronger.

i felt so horrible during this weekend and i cannot believe that i actually went to shop on friday and went for the sushi party at oony's place on sat and attended jas's 21st today. i totally had no mood to go anywhere. just wanted to stay at home and do nothing.

i hope i'm really feeling better after shu yi talked so much sense into me. i felt bad that she had to worry about me when she herself wasn't feeling too good. love her so much.

tmr's monday. damn it. i just dread it. totally.

=(

damn sad. i feel so stupid.

teeth are exciting (:

yes i totally have no motivation to study/read my notes. have been staring at my berkovitz text for quite a while before realising that maybe i should just stick to reading my notes cause i just can't bear to highlight the text [the book is damn ex - i think its worth 2 months of groceries]. have to read my notes and get as much details as possible into my head before tmr's pract. i'm getting quite sick of practical - yes its just drawing, drawing and drawing. we trace OPGs, draw teeth, skulls, jaws etc. sometimes we just get so bored that we give the skulls names. they are real skulls btw. but last week's pract was quite fun though - we stared and poked at our partner's mouth. [and the thing was tricia and i had a subway double choc cookie just before pract. lol]. oh there's infection control (clinic) this thurs. so we have to wear formal clothes. ahh so sian. okay i really miss wearing shorts to sch when i was in engin. the dressing is just so cui. haha but here i can't wear shorts - cause its cold and everyone dresses v nicely.

today we just had our second round of TB skin test. oh my. we just keep having jabs, skin tests etc such that everyone is getting used to it already. my bruise from the previous blood test only disappeared recently after 2 weeks [the bruise was v big and scary - according to the doc, some blood leaked out so it looked badly bruised. =/ ].

i need to watch tv and listen to yes933! i miss my hongkong dramas, taiwan entertainment shows, mtv etc. but somehow i'm not bored here even though i'm lacking all those. i'm thankful for that. but nevertheless, i still miss watching my shows! shall not complain cause i still have my jay's dvds and vcds to keep me company. they really help lots :)

i miss playing the piano like crazy.

hmm i need to get back to reading my notes. cannot believe i've only read about the maxillary permanent incisors, there's like so much more. i'm telling myself, teeth are exciting. i love teeth (:

gloomy

today is really v gloomy. rained (almost) the whole day. okay the wind's scarily strong (strong until i could feel my windows vibrate =x ]. supposed to go st kilda beach today with the muoss pple but tricia and i thought maybe we should be good and stay at home and do some studying. anyway the weather forecast said it would rain today. sighhh. there's just so much things to study. its never-ending. everything just keeps accumulating. i can't seem to finish reading the notes.. =s

went for the monthly pub night organised by the dent society last night. super bored. plus drinks weren't on tab so many of us didn't drink [unlike the previous pub crawl where beer was on tab and everyone drank as if they were drinking water]. then we had potluck at my place! quite cool cause everyone cooked something special =D

today i tried to study hard [though i'm really unproductive cause i watched jay's concert dvd for quite long] so tmr i'll reward myself by going richmond with esper and tricia to shop :). tmr will be cold! 19deg max. hopefully the wind won't be strong or it'll spoil my mood to shop.

:)

(shall update now while waiting for my family to come online and skype with me).

i just treated myself to v delicious gelato ice-cream at lygon st =D tricia and i cooked a rather simple meal today for dinner [rice and fish soup] and then we thought we should go out and have some ice-cream since we were sort of craving for it. and eating ice-cream in the cold is really damn shiok. btw, the weather here is really getting v cold.. thanks to the wind. i was shivering quite badly that i couldn't even sms.
we called a couple of pple to join us cause we thought it wasn't safe for two of us to walk along lygon when its getting quite late. its quite easy to get pple to accompany cause everyone's staying nearby :) so larrisa and amy went with us to the famous gelato place. the gelato is damn nice! and its cheap too. v worth it! :)

i'm so looking forward to many things... (but definitely not sch). yup, i'm gg shopping tmr with tricia, larissa and probably su ann and parmesh at brunswick st. zi qiang recommended us to go there and shop. okay zi qiang's really nice, brought tricia and me out for dinner yesterday and dinner was damn good. really. we had thai food at this place called longrain at little bourke st. the soft shell crab, poached chicken and tofu (it was the nicest tofu and sscrab that i've tasted, i swear). it was an ATAS meal with like each dish costing more than $30. and the thing is, zi qiang treated us. okay la, we felt v paiseh. we went for some car ride and then fetched joel [his housemate] and went for coffee tgt [omg he treated us again]. [oh and i must mention that he bought like super nice swiss baked bread for us when we ran out of bread!] and he said he'll plan some trip to the choco factory [owned by his friend, like omg] then we'll go there for free chocs. i'm looking forward to it so much!

i feel kind of lucky that i have nice friends around that i feel really v well-taken care of :) really appreciate that cause it makes a big difference to my life in melb. i guess that's why i'm kind of enjoying my life in melb :)

sch's pretty horrible though. but i'll try to hang on. okay i love myself for being so positive and optimistic =D

melbourne :)

HELLO EVERYBODY!

okay i'm so busy that i really have no time to update since i arrived in melb. and i've got so so much things to say.

i really want to thank all my friends and family/relatives for sending me off at the airport on feb 16th! all wishes received with love!

(hopefully i don't miss out anyone)
all my dearies:
*S01 girls (jo, qy, jm, kc, qn+derrick+wei yi (thanks for the pretty jigzaw photo. i placed it on my bedside table!)
*cellobass (yuting, kahyan, audrey, du qian, joson)
*pamella and cheng - cheng! i love the jay chou thingy u gave to me!
*shirlyn, val and kai yin - i almost cried when i saw shirlyn cause i thought she'll be in army!
*abigail and lihui
*shu yi, teng jin, john, chong ren, sean (the calender that u guys made r really awesome! messages r also v touching, esp shu yi's!)
*esper
*family and relatives!

<3


okay now about my life in melbourne...

everything's fine here! surprisingly i'm not homesick yet (as in miss being in singapore). well i guess its really the case that u'll miss home when u face problems (that's normally the case right? its hard to miss home when u r having fun..)... and it happened to me last week. its really v depressing. but i'm glad everything's over already. thank god :)
i love melb lots for its cool weather. though it can get really erratic. sometimes it'll be really cold in the morning, then in the afternoon, it'll be warm (but i feel its still much better than singapore cause i don't perspire at all over here). winds can be pretty strong (like 60km/h... but its not that strong in the city la). oh and its easy to get around melb (but definitely not cheap).. quite difficult to get lost. lots of things to shop. can get nice stuff at reasonable prices.

i simply love where i'm staying now. its spacious and i like the layout. i've got a good view - its facing the campus. and the thing is, its v convenient. just 2 mins walk to the dent hospital. but its around a 10 mins walk to the medical building where i have to go for IBS lectures. have quite a couple of friends staying at the same place so it can get quite fun when we eat our cooked meals tgt.

tricia and i prepare almost all our meals... we have lots of groceries stocked up by our mums before they went back to singapore. and quite surprisingly our meals r really nice! hahaha we cook really good food ok! beef steaks (marinated with wine), wedges, shephard's pie, potato salad, fried rice, chicken rice with stewed chicken etc. we r totally impressed with ourselves! lol. and we get to watch sunset everyday from our dining place :) how romantic right.

orientation was ok.. not exactly fun. there's a no. of pub events so there's lots of drinking. so much for promising my mum and sis that i won't drink here. lol. but its really safe with seniors around (i think). but it seems like the dent pple r alcoholics, esp the seniors. some are really quite crazy, cannot imagine them as dentists next time. hmm, there's lots of chinese faces in my course, but lots of them are locals (ABCs). quite a handful of koreans this year. more than singaporeans. there's really not a lot of pple in dent. so everyone sort of know everyone :)

got to go though i've got lots more to say. will do it soon hopefully. take care everyone, all of u are missed!

2 more days to go

it was awesome spending time with my friends this whole week [though it was rather hectic rushing here and there, it was really worth it (: ]

no worries to those who can't send me off (: appreciate the thoughts!

can't believe that monday's coming sooo soon. still have lots of packing to do!

and happy vday to all!

loveeee <3

i went back to nus today and oh my, this trip is making me miss my friends even more!

LOTS of love, laughter and joy,

#catching up with yuanqi, kongtat and hongyu about sch stuff etc.. and the poor guys looked super shagged.
#received a really cheapo gift from 3 of them. and for that, yuanqi wants me to get him a crumpler from melb. BUT,
#no crumpler for yuanqi cause he nagged at me for saying wrongly that he's in canoeing [ when it should be dragonboat..aiyah, whatever la.]
#gathering with chongren, john, sean, chun kit, tengjin and my dearest shu yi at technoedge, then we moved to mac for bigger space,

where we laughed like crazy at:

#the nus co-op card. cause it takes one month to be ready upon signing up. and at the end of the one month, u'll get this super pathetic piece of cardboard with handwritten info on it PLUS a pasted photo. HAHAHA.
#how royden got drunk during the vietnam trip with tj and john. what he did when he was drunk was hilarious!
#royden's interesting dad
#how nerdy shu yi and i were in cedar
#other cedar stuff [the horrible jogging sessions ON TOP of pe sessions; the "ah lians" in sch that got us really freaked out]

and MORE!

oh and before i forget to mention this, v nice tengjin got me the dental books from sci co-op with his discount card. saved $ and time for me. really thankful =D okay i feel bad for troubling him always. (previously, he helped me to collect my sis laptop batt and came to my workplace to pass it to me.)

awww.. i love my nus friends plenty plenty!

for this coming weekend...
it'll be a 3days,2nights outing at sentosa with cousins[not driving to kl anymore]. should be quite cool.

happy weekends!

first post of 2009 [lots of photos]

my dec'08 and jan'09 at a glance [in quite random order],



first and foremost,

WHEEEEE!!!!

but no driving of daddy's car yet, cause he wants to train me to drive his auto car. i'll miss the thrill of clutching in and changing gear! many thanks to those who wished me good luck for the test and i'm really soooo touched! <3>

#2 class outing at sentosa. the girls were just nuah-ing under the shade watching the bball game. and am so glad that our dear zoee came to join us for dinner [like finally she appeared!] =D

#3 (early) christmas outing with lao gong =D the outing was full of shopping and eating! hee.

#4 last day of 2008 spent with xiu hui and noelle at clarke quay. the new year's eve menu at manhatten fish market was superb =D had an exchange of gifts and i received a zara wallet from xh. v prettyyy.

#5 girls' night out. had some drinks at the Clinic. sis and i wanted to try the blood transfusion drink [contains volka and cranberry juice and some other stuff]. u need some skill to drink it so that u won't look like a drug addict...we looked really funny drinking it that tourists who passed by kept staring and taking photos of us. haha really quite pai seh.

#6 marina barrage with family =D





& yes, there's still more to update. hope to do it soon! =D