Saturday, April 28, 2007
back to post... zzz... today morning feel better le... went to eat luch wit guild mates at ard 1+ sia... sm la.. late sia... ard 45 mins... cause all of us wait for him... haiz... thn separate to 2 parts... cuz some dun feel lik eating subway so spilt... some long john some subway... i went wit the long john grp.... wehnt to walk walk after tat... tats when xiaodiit join us, haha... too bad miiyuki wasn't there... haiz... disturb "ah shun" till very cham... went to see school superstar.. hot sia.. see 2 go liao... went back... on train, headache start to come back liao... haiz... think not enough water... went home a while thn go out to celebrate my grandma birthday... went for buffet at orchard... no appetite... ate little only... all thought i on diet =x thn juz reach home now... took some photos there ... if can will upload... but all is stupid pics.. haha...
randomness.♥
10:58 PM
fri learn how to make banana oil... really smell lik it... haha.. well at least learn something but sianz... 2nd week only need to do formal report le... after prac 1 hr tutorial... kao.. tutorial got ans sia.. lol.. equal to no need do.. wth... half an hr finish liao... went to find fyp materials... could not find it at first... luckily yew chun told us where ithe shop was and finally got some "quotation". kao... finish le thn went home... on the way back to clementi station rain sia... a little wet only... went home, felt slpy and went to slp... today, she was sad... i could not do anything to console her... haiz.. useless me~ i could not make her cheer up... sry~~ hope she dun be so sad... haiz... think the rain make me sick... zzz now headache... goin to rest le... think having slight fever...
randomness.♥
12:05 AM
Thursday, April 26, 2007
wahaha... today frag lecture got to smell all types of fragrance raw materials.. some smell so nice while others... yucks... >.< haha... the lecture theatre so smelly lor.. last time flood thn carpet damp giv out those mouldy smell... eeyer... cannot tahan.. lucky the frag smell overpower or we all faint liao.... haha... dtn a lot cmi fall asleep sia.... i was awake cuz frag class fall aslp a while... hehe... today quite ok la... nth much really happen lor... haiz... my friend tmr goin ns liao.. cannot go send him cuz got prac... sianz... the other 1 goin nxt sat to brunei for last 1 yr ns... thn most of them goin june or july... haiz... left me alone.. T_T so sianz...
randomness.♥
11:39 PM
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
a nice song... meaning lyric... really lik it a lot.. its how i feel in some parts
journey - 张韶涵
it’s a long long
journeytill i know whera i’m supposed to be
it’s a long long
journeyand i don’t know if i can believe
when shadows fall and block my eyes
i am lost and know that i must hide
it’s a long long
journeytill i find my way home to you
many days i’ve spent
drifting on through empty shores
wondering what’s my purpose
wondering how to make me strong
i know i will falter i know i will cry
i know you’ll be standing by my side
it’s a long long
journeyand i need to be close to you
sometimes it feels no one understands
i don’t even know why
i do the things i do
when pride builds me up till i can’t see my soul
will you break down these walls and pull me through
cause it’s a long long
journeytill i feel that i am worth the price
you paid for me on calvary
beneath those stormy skies
when satan mocks and friends turn to foes
it feel like everything is out to make me lose control
it’s a long long
journeytill i find my way home to you.to you
randomness.♥
11:01 PM
hmm.... been catching up on channel u repeat telecast of dolphin bay... last time keep missin the show so now everyday at 67 kee watching cuz its a nice show ^^ the storyline is quite touching bah from my pt of view... well dunno abt others de... but dunno y i lik to watch those taiwan series cuz really touching for some of them... lik the song journey bu angela so i change my song again to tat... hmm.. wastching all those series make me feel so touched sometimes but haiz... only if life was lik tat... haha.... well in any case i hav something i wish for and tats she happy can le.... ^^ tats all i ask for...
randomness.♥
8:33 PM
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
thinking of wat i have done recently... am i really a bastard??? wat i did was wrong mah?? hav i changed?? even i myself could not answer all of the above qns... i might have changed... my persistancy is already starting to faded... but is it really a bad thing??? i really want to be by ur side.... but i was never given a chance to do so cuz u still hav him in ur mind... but i wish i wun giv up tat easily... i broken down times and times, failures and failures.... but its me... i wun giv up till u have really be wit the 1 u lik...
randomness.♥
11:05 AM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
感觉梦醒着
感觉心痛着
感觉你不在了
谁来证明爱是存在的
我们被困着
被过去骗着
这一切都不一样
世界怎么了
难道说选择了忘记
而解放了自己
是否就拥有挑战爱情的勇气
当时光交成在一起成
说不清的思绪
我却只要那段最美的回忆
歌词提供再兴
哦
menory 飘荡如空气
明知你在那里
却又难以跨越的距离
我们在放弃
涂白了记忆
以为就可以伪装无邪的美丽
难道说选择了忘记
而解放了自己
是否就拥有挑战爱情的勇气
当时光交成在一起
成说不清的思绪
我却只要那段最美的回忆
难道说选择了忘记
而解放了自己
是否就拥有挑战爱情的勇气
当时光交成在一起成
说不清的思绪
我却只要那段最美的回忆
我却只要那段
最美的回忆....wat a nice song this is... by lin jun jie de... is really forget the best way to free urself.... wat if somethings just can't be forgotten so easily... wat if they have stay put in ur mind??? is there really no way to forget any of these???
randomness.♥
4:28 AM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
been refering back to my old posts... first post start on 16 jan 05 sia... hmm.. seem so long and days past so fast... flippin and fliiping thru all my post... haiz... remembber some of the days... dunno if really can foget or not... flip and flip and saqw 1 post that i post long ago... this is wat i wrote:
sometImes, i wonder... what's fate, what's love... tiLl now, i stiLl do noT understAnd the truE meaninG or peRhaps, i wIll never undeRstaNd... to maNy peopLe, lovE is a GreaT thinG anD One thinK thAt truE lovE is thE thinG theY haVe beEn seARching for... howevER, noT eveRyonE caN geT truE loVe... somE oF thEM wIll haVe tO saCrifice something befOre thEy eveN realisE it... (likE friendship etc...) to me, everything is impossibLE... notHing gREat ever hapPen to me anD to me, lifE is jusT faIlure whiCh i HavE to go on... noW, moSt oF the THinG tO mE aRe numB aND onLy thoSe i wiSh tO remEmber caRRiEs my emoTions... buT mosT of thEM arE cruEL faCTs wHIch i don't WsiH to faCe... mY viEW on loVe, SOMe maY say thAt i Am noT realisTic anD do noT have ThE couragE to facE the trUth whilE somE thInk otherWise... in fAct, i actuaLly do noT knoW whethEr i aM stubboRn, hOlDinG ontO thinG thaT canNot bE reAch Or aM i jUst a StupiD gUy who Do noT knOw whAt loVe reaLLy is... tiLl now, i aM holding onTo somethinG thAt i realLy do noT wish to leT go off... i knOw if i let Go oF it, no onlY i wilL losE it forever but aLso DrifT awAy further aWay from me... tHE firSt onE is alreaDy mAdE a mESs out of me... i Am losinG mY confiDence as ThE hopE getS sMAllER and smaLLEr... i knoW thEre aRe no sucH thinGs aS miracLes but this timE i DO hopE thAt miracle wiLL haPPen... howevER whAtevER shE doEs, i wiLL reSpecT hER decISioN... aNd whEn i sEE heR smiLE AnD knowS thAT she's hapPy, i will feel glAd...
hmm... my feelin now?? think attitudde did not change much ba... still so stubborn and zhi juo... dun want to let go... maybe this cannot change ba... the last sentence.... hmmm... i should really consider if i am really doin the right thing now... maybe i should just stay away frm her... and maybe this is the right choice...
randomness.♥
2:29 AM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
low confidence... low self esteem= nothing i do can be done right?? maybe bah... in terms of relationship wise, i am quite low confident and has low self-esteem... i keep thinking i am not good enough and sure wun be able to hav any gf... i am scared that the gal tat i lik wun lik me cuz i am not good looking... i am so scared of all these... i kept thinking about all these and maybe these has lead me to over-sensitive character of mine... i am really afraid tat the gal i lik might find me too irritating and ignore me... this has happen to me b4 and i dun wish this would happen again... but no matter i want to change, this does not seem possible to me... y? is this really meant to be lik this?? maybe i was meant to be alone in the first place... maybe bah... if not.. possibly....
randomness.♥
4:56 PM
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
yeah... she new album coming out soon le... can preorder on 25 april liao... haha... so fast... last autograph is when only... opps.. think i forget... stm liao.. hehe... 3 days since school start.. ok la.. mainly is briefing except for few subjects which has started... eugene got fyp project for us le... already started to plan wat to do.. think nxt week can start le... hmm... today went home and reached about 2plus.. was raining so went to take a nap... wa kao.. when i wake up already 6 plus lor... sianz... slp for so long.. but now i feel slpy again.. jia lat sia.. keep wanting to slp.. hehe... shi shun goin ns nxt week le.. 1 more friend goin le... haiz... lik less and less long time friends beside me le... sad sia.. this sun goin to celebrate b4 he goes in... all my friends goin ns liao except me.. sure will become very lonely for me... haiz... wat am i goin to do...
randomness.♥
10:06 PM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
tmr a new sem will start le... new modules, old classmate and FYP!!! argh... sianz... got FYP to do sia... kao.. luckily got porject le... now is muz organise wat to do... mood better but still feeling down... tmr dunno wat time start sia.. no1 say briefing wat time or got changee or not... not excited but fel lik goin back school cuz friends there... at least can chat... tmr long day... all the best to all who also startin school... ^^ take care...
randomness.♥
4:32 PM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
so fan... y is my home always so noisy... can't i even play a game properly without any disturbance... mum nag sayying i never let my bro study properly and say i keep leadin him to play computer with me.. is it really my fault... y does she wan to find fault in everything i do... am i really tat useless to this family at all... this does not seem lik my home, my family... is juz a place tat i slp... i dun even think i hav any family at all.... i can't seems to do the right thing in this place... i cannot find any1 to share my unhappyness.. not 1.. not even any1 at al... is it all this my fault... i cannot be wit the person i lik, cannot do wat i really lik, all the " cannots" make me feels lik i am in hell... no comfort no nothing.. i hav nothing left in this sick place.... i am so tired of this place, how i wish i can get out of this place... can't i just find some1 who can share these unhappyness, or even the slightest joy i have... or am i juz alone to face this SICK WORLD~!!! i hope i could just disappear from every1 mind, memories... just treat as i am not around anymore... i think i am really breaking down into pieces... think tat u all cannot believe bah.. i dun hope any1 to believe in me as i dun think no1 ever did... i am just dropping tears as i post tthis up...
randomness.♥
11:41 PM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
yucksss... today at work place nearly wan to vomit liao.. today clean up the dilution ttank... eeeyer... so dirty... organic, inorganic all inside... some more got a weird smell lor.. makes me feel so disgusted...at the start, it was alright... still can tahan a while... however as the time gets longer... feel more and more er xin... thn my labcoat also kana lor.. so dirty... clear ard 2 big bottle sia... ard 5 L i think... still have to carry to the waste collection point lor... heavy sia... make me sweat again... haiz... lickily no smell on me or i sure faint... XD
randomness.♥
5:18 PM
Saturday, April 07, 2007
yesh... 1 more week before itp end and comes a new term... nxt week my supervisor come back liao thn no need i solo do all the things liao... can't wait sia>< hehe... thn maybe got chance may see ling in school... hopes so bah.. lol... tomorrow and sun workin part time as promoter... should be workin at amk hub de... but suddenly change to yishun sia... near my home somemore... dunno is good or not... so tired these few days dunno y.... finally my dk 101 le... hehe so happy sia... scroll 13 acc snowshoe and sold for very ex... haha... got fund again liao wor... XD today good fri... was suppose to go out wit friends to east coast to slack... in the end dunno y cancel also... so today no go out... haiz.. thought can have fun b4 i work again... but nvm
hmm... wat should i say... lol... guesss nothing for now le...
randomness.♥
12:43 AM
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
todaY just update my skin and music... lik this song a lot... hehe... very nice song... should watch the mv... nice too... today change skin thn found out tat my song de link is dead... no wonfer no song sia.... haha... hope this song link dun die... T_T juz finishin update my phone software also... cuz when i used could not see who the missed call was from and who i dial to... send an e-mail to sony ericsson and they told me updating software will solve this.. and it did... finally no more bug in my phone... yeah...
randomness.♥
1:48 AM
