Monday, December 25, 2017
As i read more into smiling depression, could i have been in this mild condition since a long time ago and lucky for me, it did not become any worse because i am scared of dying?
Or am i just thinking too much about this to cover up my state of mind or condition currently. I really cannot think now. I have too much to think, too much to bother, too messed up right now.
randomness.♥
1:30 PM
Smiling depression.
The hallmark of smiling depression is sadness. The smile and external façade is a defense mechanism, an attempt to hide their true feelings. A person could be experiencing sadness about a failed relationship, career challenges, or lacking what they view as a true purpose in life. The sadness might also manifest as a constant, overall feeling that “something just isn’t right.”
Other common symptoms of smiling depression are feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, fatigue, irritability, hopelessness, and despair. Those suffering from this and other forms of depression may also experience problems sleeping, a lack of enjoyment in pleasurable activities, and a loss of libido. Everybody’s experience is different. It’s possible to feel just one or many of these symptoms.
Another way to think about smiling depression is to see it as wearing a mask. People suffering from smiling depression may offer no hint of their problem to the outside world. They often maintain a full-time job, run a family household, participate in sports, and have a fairly active social life. With their mask on, everything looks great, even at times perfect. However, underneath the mask they are suffering from sadness, panic attacks, low self-esteem, insomnia, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts.
randomness.♥
4:21 AM
Thursday, December 21, 2017
It's a very sad day today for shawols and kpop lovers as today marks the leaving of Jonghyun. When I saw the news, I thought it was a mistake or error made by the website. But when I found out that it was real, it left a impact in me. I could feel the heart ache of someone closed leaving me. I have been listening to their songs since their debut and even learn to dance one of their songs. They were a part of me during my 20s and for someone to leave so suddenly, i was dumbfounded. I like others did not want it to be true and hope for a miracle but when the confirmation came, the pain was real. Every tweet, every news that I read, I could feel tears in my eyes. Yes I am an emotional guy but for someone so fine to leave like this, it really is a pity to the industry and everyone who loves him. I hope Jonghyun will finally be at peace. #RIPJongHyun #RosesForJongHyun
Dedicated to Jonghyun of Shinee
Always under exactly the same sky, always exactly the same day
Other than your not being here, there’s nothing different at all
I just want to smile, want to forget everything
Just like absolutely nothing has happened, smiling to live my days
Miss you, miss you so much, because I miss you so much
Everyday all by myself, calling and calling you
Want to see you, want to see you, because I want to see you so much
Now it’s like I have this habit, keep calling out your name
It’s the same today
I thought I’d let go, not leaving anything behind
No, no, now I still can’t let you go
Miss you, miss you so much, because I miss you so much
Everyday all by myself, calling and calling you
Want to see you, want to see you, because I want to see you so much
Now it’s like I have this habit, keep calling out your name
It’s the same today
Everyday, everyday, it feels like I’m gonna die, what should I do?
Love you, love you, I love you
I hadn’t even spoken the words, I just let you go
Sorry, sorry, do you hear my words
My late confession, can you hear it
I love you
.
randomness.♥
9:27 PM
Monday, August 28, 2017
Tired, I'm so tired. Mentally and physically drained. I don't know if this is right anymore.
randomness.♥
8:00 PM
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
I'm really tired at times. I know when she is having her period, I know I have to be more understanding but everytime I message her to talk her through, she feels like I am scolding her. I really don't know what to do at times. She say I have to be understanding during this period and I am trying to. But how am I going to do that if she treats that what I am doing is not angry but just my ways of doing thing. It is already been so long and I am not sure if she really understand me or not. She keep saying I am like her father who throw tempers when I am angry. When she message me, when I reply in some way that i always do, I will be also wrong as she say I sound angry, I dont reply also wrong as she say why I am not replying her. At times I really don't know if my communication with her is really that bad or she just don't understand me. I am trying really hard and it seems like she still don't know this is the way i talk or communicate, i just don't know how to anymore...
randomness.♥
1:01 AM
Monday, March 05, 2012
seriously i cannot believe what people like him said... his action and his words does not match at all, yet people choose to believe in him than me... sometimes it just feel that what i do what i say, does not even matter at all... its all in the mind of those who choose to overlook it... it just disappoint me at times, but wat can i do?? nothing at all, i can only accept what it is and what is has already become...
i thank who i had been with last time, for growing up with me... for the past is to 回味 not to 牵挂..
its another chapter but now to me, i just dunno what to do... to feel but not able to say out cause i am afraid to lose everything that you have now... people ask me, i can only say no.. cause i am afraid to lose everything that is already there... there's so little that i can do for now... confused, dazed, paranoid... what should i do??
randomness.♥
8:00 PM
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine to myself... Lonely day since 2006? How long has it been? Hmm... Its End of poly for most peeps and can relax.. But its only the start of school so many.. So many assignments, so many deadline.. Hope I dun miss any of it...
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randomness.♥
1:13 AM
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Woah... I dun think anyone visit this blog.of mine anymore.. Seriously how long has it been since I last posted... 2 years at least... Ns over, working n studying.. No luck in love life... But made a new group of friends, started dancing to kpop... Family issues getting to me... When there no place or noone to confide to.. This is the best place to release it all out since no1 ever sees it...
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randomness.♥
2:56 AM
