Braddell Heights Cup IS Over... just within the sHort 3 dAys...
We Lost 2 gAmes and Won the last gAme.
Monday... firSt gAme wAS quite weLL pLayed agAInst LingYun... though we did nOt hAF a gOOd stArt but we mAnaged to plAy better the seCond hAlf and wAs able to eArn sOMe Points bAck...
Tuesday... SecOnd gAme agAInst TeckGhee was a verY bAd oNe... a bAd stARt wif pOOr organisAtion and nOt enuff Morale in the teAm. cOuld not mAke our offence plAy COunt... mISs too muCh chAnces to salvage the Poor Scoreline.. yupp.. a very bAd loST for kAIxuAn.. esp loSing to a yOung teAm. no poInt sAyin we cOuld hAf win this game.. hAIx... but hopefully we did leArnt something from thiS bAd defeAt.
Wednesday... lASt gAme for this Compeition. wON RJC by 3 pts... All the gals fought reAlly hARd... a number of goOD moments for kAixuAn gals. but personally i played quite bAdly. too mANy bad pAsses & negAtive emotions. abit disppOinted & upset but still gLad tAt we wON =)


soMEtimes i reALly cAn't underSTand...

*** FRIENDS of my life ***


ActuAlly i dun know wAt's the reAl meaning of Friends....
peOple whO coMes by ur life and stAyed as pArt of ur life??
or people wHo r there for me whEn i need them??
Friends are people who oNce left their footpRint in ur life??
but for no mAtter wAt reAsons, friends chAnge my life.


i juST reAd jiAnling's bLog and reAlised tAt i hAf not been doIn my pArt as A "fRiend"... i've mAde countless of frIends in my life...
but mAybe i dID not pUT in good effOrts to keep in cOntact wif sOME of thEm... i'M being too pAssive in keeping my friendship strOng enuff...
suddenly i had the urge of writing dOwn all the greAt people's names i've cAme across... perhaps i felt guilty towards them... perhaps i juSt want to remind myself how they change my life... perhaps i want to let them know how much i actually vAlue them... perhaps just for my memories..
mAybe??


i haf lOng lost contAct wif my Childhood friends... cAn stIll remember the dAys i spent wif them & wif my sis at my neighbourhooD... plAying bAsketbAll together even when light goes off... plAying bLock cAtching.. hide & seek... hAnging Aroung the plAygrounds, tAble-tennis tAble, void deCks...plAying, running, screAming, shOuting... :P
(thAnx Yong ming korkor... tohSoon, tohqiAng, hOngfA, LixioNg, jiahAo, zhAo dong, Iskandar etc)
but very sAd to say, i lost contAct wif them after my lower sec life...


my pRi schools friends... oNly a few stiLL in MSN contacts... my first bESt friend wAs YiXu.. who uSed to be my "tWin sisters" since we lived in the sAme Block.... bUt dunnO where is she now as shE had mOve out to sTay bY herself... =( nOt forgetting my Pri sChool nEtbAll teAm mAtes tOo.. and some of my good friends whom i had misunderstandings wif... and being chidiSh then, i Said "i dun wan to friend u le"... :P very sorry..
noW mOSt of my good friends in Pri scH hAD gONe into the wOrking wOrld... mAking the distAnce b/w uS eVEn fUrther awAy... and tHe reSt nOW mOStly are thoSe hi-bye friends in the streets...


the mOst regret i hAd was nOt able to mAke "TEN SISTERS" sisters forever....
thOSe onCE so familiar galS, wHo knew each other sinCE sEc 1 dAys... the dAYs we wENt OCC plAY bOwling... plAY arcAde... lOitering in SChools... hAix.. bUt noW? i never haD the chAnce to gATher aLL of us together... whEn was the lASt time all of uS cOme together?? YEars agO??? or iSSit i did nOt dO my pARt to keep thiS sisterhooD together?? suDDenly i fElt SO SO guilty... =( being the eldeST.. i did nOthing...
fOr now, i'm only stiLL in contAct wif weixin, xiAoqi, Shufen & qiuxin.. bUt gOt some time never meet qxin & fen le.. lAst met uP wif jiAnling & Audrey during weixIN's houSe-wArming... been ages since i tAlk to huiRu & xuELing... and i somehOw manage to meet the long lost-contAct jiAyAn neAR my neighbourhood a few weeks ago... She was happily mArried nOW and hAd just gAve biRth... 5-months olD le.. sHE lOOks sO hAppy & entu wHen telling me the gooD newS.. =)
aCtuAlly i dO want this sisterhood to lAst... but i dunno WHy i did nOthing... Am i jUst tAking tHings fOr grAnted? or i'm juST finding excUSes tAt i'm buSy wif my liFe nOW tAt i hAF no time to tinK abt SO mANy things... Suddenly remember dAryl reprimanding mE for nOt putting effort in mAintaining the friendshIp b/w him & me... mAYbe he's right. i wAS the so "pAssive" person who wiLL wAits for pp to mSg or contAct me firSt then i'll rePly... i cAN imAgine me hAving no friends in the enD if i'm stiLL hAving thiS "pAssive" thingz... yA... i'm oNly So inVolved in my preSent life tAt i dun tiNK of these stuFFs in the pASt... nOW thAt i reAlised, i tink it's time i stArt doing SOmething.....
mY firST birthdAy wiSh neXT yeAr would bE able to aBle to celebrAte my 21st birtHday wif aLL of them... =)


"tEn Sisters" are the first group of friends i hAd in Sec school... thEn the neXT group wAs my "Brothers"... i uSed to plAy soccEr wIf theM.. loItering lAte around yiShun wif theM.. hANging out almoSt dAily wif tHEm... and thEY are really like Brothers to ME.. sOmetimes i felt i spent abit tOO much time wif them tiLL i becOme so Boyish LE.. hehe... bUt again.. i lOSt contact wif mOSt of them.. some went NS le, some still studying.. but been ages sinCe i hAng up wif them aLL.. ya... tOO mANy thINgs hAppen and tink i cAn't hang out wif them like i used to le... and sometimes it's reAlly hArd for me, as a gal to initate to meet up wif thEm.. in the pASt maybe can, nOW it's different le...
(thAnx Daryl, jEff, YonghSin, Xinghe, JinhAi, Jorge, Dizi for treAting me as buddies once.. =))


YTSS bAsketbAll teAm contributes to anOther big circle of friends.. from strAngers to teAm-mates and then to goOd friends... although not close to everyone but still afew close buddies... i start to grow mature from here i tink.. through the tough trAinings and the hardships all of us went thro' together... i fell and i leArnt... frOM my coAch & teAmmates... wE stRive & wOrk hArd for eAch other...
(thanx CoAches, xin, qi, fen, Jia, SiYun, WeeLing, Shinee, BerlindA, Gayna, Xueni, jAsmin etc...for mAking my bAsketbAll life so fruitful)


there is this bUnch of bAsketbAll plAymates who play basketball wif me & my teAmmates.. some of them are Also Our clAssmates/sChoolmAtes. they are.. jiAhui, BinghuAng, YongqiAng, En Rui, Kimpoh, Zhi Xiong, zhiyAng, jiAnsHun.. etc... thEy nOt only are willing to plAy bb wif we gAls but alSO indirectly helping uS to grow as a player.. =)


my nExt gRoup of friends cOme from my SP bAsketbAll teAm.. 3 yeARs in the teAm and i did mAde alot of friends... and they are the mAIn source of friendship in my Poly life... bUt as i left the teAm, we areN't tAt cLose lE.. mAinly mEet in gAmes and mAtches... bUt i understAnd tAt they ALL also had their own group of frIeNds like i Do... =)
(thAnx Xiangling, Shuting, June, LiRong, Serene, Shimin, Yufong, jAcob, Beth, EcstAcy, hAixin, Ah gU, Peiye, Debbie, bUn,Angela, Becca, Jinhui, guAnHong, Yubing... u All spArkle my life in SP)


tink tHe biGGest group of my friends cOMes from KAixuAn bAsketbAll cLub... it'S a reAl bIg fAmily... another imPortAnt pArt of my liFe. tHrough yeArs in kAixuAn, i mAde numerous friends....Wanying jie, meihui jie, Joyanna jie, Liangmin, Michelle, Congpei, KalAi, Angel, Audrey, zhouXian, jiAling, kAIle, june, Amelia and the jurong gAls....
seeing some teAmmates leAving the teAm ... and seeing Alot of youNg gals cOming into kAixuAn.. being juniOrs to me and slowly becoME my friends... =)
and aFter wAtchin the video cLip wxin did fOR sir, i cRied... seeing All thoSe toUching & memorable moments i hAd in kAixuAn and hOW kAixuAn had chAnged my life... i know Sir since i'm yOUng.. from pri School days tiLL now... Over 10 years le.. and suddenly felt Sir hAd aged So mUch... although he's my coAch but he hAd alSo becum my friend as yeARs goes by... he wAtched me grOw frOm a chiLd to A teenager and now slowing into an adult...reALly appreciate thiS "OlD fRiend" of mIne... aLot of things to tEll this greAt "friend".. or perhaps more of a mentor... abt how he chAnged my life & attitudes.. teAching me importAnt stuffs in lIfe & givin me aLot of oppOrtunites to sHine.. to wOrk hArd.. to contribute to the teAm... and mOSt importantly giVin a plAce in kAixuAn..=)


in Poly clAss, my Polymer classmAtes are all my deAr friends... nOW in my uni lIfe.. oNly 3 beSt friends.. hehe.. Chaifen, XiuYun & Shumin... very fortunAte to hAf them wif me in NTU... knOw them since pOly dAys and never kNow the 4 of uS can become the best pAls in our Uni life.. =)



therE are stIll alots of friends i mAde through oUt my 20 yrs of liFe... but abOve are the ones i vAlue moSt...
esp Xin(z), fen & qi... thAnx for always being there.

~ EXAMINATIONs ~


finAlly left 2 mOre papers to gO..
Material Science on mOnday and Technical Com on Thursday...
dun know issit hAppy or sAd...
hAIx....


my fIrst pAper on Manufacturing Processes wAs quite bAd... couldn't understand some queStions and was not able to describe and write weLL... but tink shOuld be aBle to pAss ba...


Second pAper on MOM was a very very BIG KILLER!!! Some questions nOT able to Answer... and thoSe tAt i knOW how to do, i MAde siLLy & cAreless mIStakes...i mAde jUSt too MUCH miStakes!!! DAmn aLot tILL i tinK i'm Not abLE to pAss the paper lohx... i tink i will fAiled the paper... hOpefully my CA wiLL help me get thro'.. i'm reAlly scAre thAT i hAf to repeat thiS idiot Module... hAIx... buT wat can i dO?? nOt enuff practises on it so not able to apply the applications/methods of use??
feeling damn LOW tAt dAy after MOM paper... first time leAving an exAmination hAll knowing tAt up to 90% i'll fAil the pAper... the feeling of sAdness iS just undescribeable... tHe struGGle i hAd wif mY heARt reminding me tAT there's no Point crying oVer spiLL mILK... =(
But it'S aLL over... i juSt hAf tO mAke the preparation "Xin Li Zhun Bei" of accepting thiS fAIlure... the wORst is i retAke thIS module and dO better NExt sEm rite..?
(ACtions Speak Louder thAn wOrds huh?? sAy so eASy.. dO?? hAix)


toDAy.. the 3rd pAper on my mOSt feAred module.. Electronics, Magnetic & Optical prOperties... but it turned ouT to BE the mOSt easy pAper i hAd so fAr... a fEW expected questions and i'm able to hAndle them quite weLL. tiNK thiS paper wiLL help to pULL up my pOOr grAde(E) for CA..but siNce it wAS quite an eASy paper.. the marks wiLL surely be moderAte... hoPEfully stiLL can secure a "C"??


UNiversity exAms are juSt so different from POLy... why i Spent more time studyin for UNI exams but the outCome is stILL so negATive?? wAt's the different?? i just dun understAnd... AM i hArdworking enuff?? did i study enuff?? or just bluffing my WAY through?
tiNK i muSt leARn to STUDY SMART & STUDY REAL HARD!!


jiAyou for my lASt 2 pApers... and enJoy mySElf tiLL the dAY before i get bAck my results.. =)

juSt some thOughts of Mine after consoling some of my frenx & reflecting on my love life...
**purely my opinions**


sometimes i reAlly wonder wat thiS 4 letters word represents??
LOVE???
it comprises of so many emOtional attachments that somehOW OVER cOntrol one's actions/feelings/behaviours etc...


seeing my beloved frenz fallin in & oUt of love...
juSt 2 differeNT kind of feelings.. yet SO extreme in their differenCe... totAlly 2 different "GAN JUE".. like "heAven & HeLL"??


whEn one's in lOVe, the frenx ard them felt the love too.. hAppy for the hAppiness they R in... & hope they R blEssed wif thE LoVE eternally..


but vice verSa, when one fall out of loVe, their frenx also feel very sAD & is mOSt willing to shARe ur sorrow together...


hOwever.. hAppiness R usually mUCh easier to shAre thAn sorrows & unhAppines... yA??
usuAlly only the viCtim themselves undergo the reAl heart-Ache and untieable heARt knOt... a reAl torture for thOSe people wHo fAll hArd in Love.. Since there was a sAyin.. if u dun feel pAIn, it's nOt Love u R tAlkin about. hOw true??


i used to sAy pp are siLLy.. for they went ALmost bersek afTer breakin up wif their bf/gf... doing unreasonable & ridiculus acTions... mAkin hteir lives miserable.. why?? i dun understAnd wAt makes them reAct in thAt way... untiL one'S reAlly been in these shOes will one thEn understAnd their pAIn and wAt they haf actually undergo... bUt tat's not the excuse for doin unreasonable things thAt hurtz urself & the pals ard u.. for there are alwaes other options to relieve ur unhappiness or sadness... u dun haf to torture urself to release the pAIn in u riGHt??


sOMe AdviCes from "weihui":
1. CRY OUt as loud as u cAn... hehehe.. :P
~ if cannot cRy, liSten to All the sAd loVe songs or wAtch sAd lOve mOvies... (can also cry sliently in ur bed.. at least a start rather than bottom up ur feelings.)
2. Keep urself occupied wif the things that make u happy... eg. plAying bAsketball... KTV sessions...reAding a noVel...
3. wATch a comedy
4. tALk to ur best frenx and make them cry wif u..*hee*
5. gO arcAde plAy.. vEnt ur unhAppiness on the mAchines :P


thAts aLL i hAf for the moment... =)



it'S so funny & nice when my mum chAt wif me & my sis abt hOw she met my fAther & how they got together... and then sHE ask abt our love lifes at this stage... it's so weird thAt i cAn actually show her my ex-boyfriends' phOtogrAphs.. telling her their names and stuffs... like nothing once happen like tat... my guyS' friend... so muCh happening stuffs i recalled.. but din say everything to her lA... i oNly chAt abt hAppy & funny stories... *hee*
running thro my mind then was how come i was tAlking about all thoses stuffs... ???? WERID...


i alwAEs restrain myself froM talking abt my lOve lIfe.. beCox it was not so hAppy??? nO la, juSt tAt i'm hurtz on several occasions.. frOM 13 yrs old tiLL now.. thEre aRE actually quite alot of hAppy & memorial moments for me...and i really treAsure theM... =)
But i was onCE bAdly hurt... by someone whom i ONCE loved sO muCh. and eAch time pp asK me abt lOve issues, i unwilling tink of HIM.. it's not tAT i still luv him, but i cAn't forget him. he's still a frenz of mine, so there's No way i'll forget him wAt.. hehehe...
But recAlling bAck the pAst, i sincerely Thanked him for mAking me a Stronger persON and leAving me wiF happy memories...
and of cox, givin me an Opportunity to fAll for aNother person who wiLL treAsure me even mOre.. =)
**stiLL in search of thiS person!!** :P



anyway, i juST sincerely hOpe thOSe who fAll out of love will regAin bAck their smIles soon... and of cauSe wiLL find their tRue love sOOn agAIn... =)







SOME meaning phrAses on LOVE:


~Love is an Act of Endless FOrgiveness~


* iF U lOve sOmebody, sEt hiM free... iF hE cOmes bAck, hE's uRs... iF nOt, thEn lOVe wAs never meAnt to Be... *


+ The meANing of lOve iS not to lOve a pErfeCt perSon... buT to Love an ImperfeCt persON perfeCtly +


~ it tAkes a min to haf a crUSh on someone, An hOur to liKE someone? anD a dAy to LOve someone... BUT, it tAKes a LIFETIME to forget ~


wHAt iS LOVE????
Love is pAtient, lOve is Kind.
iT dOes not Envy, it dOes not bOOSt,
iT IS not prOud, it iS not ruDe,
iT iS not sElf-seeking,
it iS not eaSily angered...
iT keeps no recOrd of wRongs.
Love dOes not delight in Evil
bUt rejOices wif the tRuth.
It Always PROtECts..
AlwAys TRUSt...
AlwAys HOPE...
AlwAYs PERSEVERE!