It's been a while.
As usual life goes on. It's been 20 years since i started this blog.
I think I only just found out something about myself.
I realise that I am not great at closure.
Something that really fears me and something that I dwell on a lot is becoming just a memory for people.
I'm still looking for that relationship where the other person cherishes me as much as I cherish them. Just to be the best of friends and to continuously enjoy each other's company.
I don't like my mind right now, stacking up problems that are so unnecessary,
I think I'm holding on to so much more than I can carry.
I keep dragging around everything that's bringing me down.
It's not like I make the choice to keep my mind this messy.
I looked back on posts from before, and I see that I have barely changed much.
I still pour my heart out into people and expect the same, and the same fucking results keep turning up.
It's definitely not anybody's fault. It's just the way things are and the way thing's work.
I think Alfred was wrong when he spoke to Bruce about falling down. I think we fall down not to pick ourselves up but to see who lends a hand.
I haven't made a list of important people in my life in a while so I'll make one here. If you ever find your name here, please know that you matter a lot to me.
My hometown girl Hor Peay Pei
The most intelligent man I've ever known Prusothman Sinaraja.
The most unlikely brother Hua Tse Kai
My sportsman Ng Boon Kwang
My Arab Suhib Mazin Ahmed Alzyoud
My Moroccan dog Hamada Mmohamed Hajjoub
My general dog Sheikh Usama Sheikh Ijaz
The unlikeliest best friend Geh U-Shen
My baobei Irene Lin Wenjia with her two cats Huahua and Jerry.
My best friend from korea Hwang Soo Jung
The person who taught me a lot growing up Bryan Chin Sing Lik
The best couple who withstood everything Kushal and Amanda.
Jay Chai who's literary done everything with me.
Sasho Kostovski and his crazy family for being my family
Simone Peschel who loved me like no other.
I can't think of anyone else who if they called me and ask for something I would do with no questions asked.
I know I haven't spoken to most of you in probably years, it's no wrong on your part, it's always been me and the choices I've made that make me drift away.
I'd give anything to be at Midvalley Megamall on May 19th 2005 with you guys queuing up to buy tickets to the Revenge of the Sith with all our toys and shopping for more stuff at Toys R Us.
If given the chance, I don't think I would do anything different. I did everything I could ever do to the best of my abilities. I had all the best times with you guys, I really did.
Thank you for keeping up the most part of 21 years. I became a man with all of you.
