you're beautiful jamie.

i'm going through something in my life,which i have never gone through before and i believe i'll make it safely.

it's nice to see the comment from hadassah.

i am listening to chicago now and i think i should blog about something that's on my mind.

it's this girl i am attracted to and i don't know.She's the perempuan kristian agung i've been searching for.She knows how i feel la and she has not been treating me differently since she has known.some people should take a leaf out of her book la.

but the sad thing is..that i am depressed of all this la...it's like all i have ever done is like and like a girl...it's as if i am not meant to have someone special for me...and this really really bugs me..i cannot talk to anybody about it..i think it's sort of a taboo matter as i am asian...
sighs...at times...no,everyday the thought of suicide does come across my mind and the only thing that pulls me away from it is that i would just give other people more trouble.so i thought of a plan,if i do get the courage to pull the plug on my own life,i'd first isolate myself,then pull the plug.

I was thinking about melbourne.i don't know anybody there and then slowly i can just disappear.

atsui ruth.

The whole new year has been pretty good.It is exceptionally good if I put all the ridiculous things family members do.

I almost drowned at youth camp.I got pulled into the ocean by a rip and i thought i was going to die till my CG leader arrived to save me.PTL(learnt that from wei-i) Praise the Lord.

I have lost too much weight which I have to gain back now to compete in june.I will have a really hot..hot hot body.Esther is coming soon and I will have chats with her.Every single day we'll sit and drink my milo while she mixes her yok choi and drinks some weird medicinal herb drink(kacip fatimah) and have superb and magnificent chats about the things malaysian's normally chat about and we will enjoy the bike rides.

I spend too much time with the So sisters or rather,they spend too much time with me.The picture below is of steven,sandy and I.Note that sandy has a wannabe SPECIUM KOHSEN(Ultraman's Finisher Beam) pose and steven has the RED KING(Evil Monster in Ultraman) pose.

I spend alot of time practicing my guitar skills and cricket bowling skills.With my current cricket skills,I could take on the whole MBSSKL team which included Nik,Raja Putar Alam and Kuah Jen [huge amount of space] Han.The cricket world cup is coming and if Malaysia is in it,I hope we make if quite far,far beyond Sri Lanka.

I have not spoken to Haddassah in ages.I don't know what's wrong but it's as if we're just not meant to speak to each other?.I miss her truly.I miss her too much.If she is reading this,I'd like her to know that the last happy memory i have of her is the one on the 27th of april 2005.It's when we went to MV and watched the highly psychological termed movie and ate good food at Little Penang Caffe and took crash courses on STAR WARS and ate cotton candy and listened to Greenday in the old PROTON WIRA.

Malaysia seems so distant now.Gwen too seems distant.I didn't want to talk about her but I just had to say that I guess.Imagine a camp with 1000 people.Imagine when that 1000 people know your name.Famousnyer danush kita.Anna,the girl I met at camp,took me to LINDT caffe a few days after camp.It was so good.Imagine good swiss chocolate based mamak.Enaknya.

I cannot seem to protect all the people I want to.I cannot seem to keep my promises like I used to.I seem to think a whole lot more about my self nowdays.I think it's about time.About time we all TASTE AND SEE.


OH!,when girls are around and boys are around,what happens?

They become SQUARE.[pusat sains negara]

God it's good to be alive,I'm still here waiting for you.