Kennedy's 8th birthday

I am old enough to have a child be baptized? I guess so. I have been thinking about what day we would have done her baptism, which wouldn't be this weekend because of conference, but most likely the following Saturday...I think the morning would have been nice.

When I was a little girl I was given a handkerchief with a poem talking about the "3 white dresses"...the blessing one, the baptismal one, and the wedding one. Kennedy was also given something to that affect. It was a little rose on a string...a bracelet that could be worn on these three occasions. So Kennedy would have possibly warn that rose on her baptism day (well, I guess if I could have actually found it in time!). But instead she had two white dresses, her blessing and her burial. Some people told me that I could have her wear her favorite clothes, or pjs, or something else. But for some reason I wanted her in white, I guess to maybe look like my new guardian angel...I don't know. But she wore white. 2 white dresses.

I kept very busy today and was trying to focus on potty training Mckinley...but then I went to look at some of Kennedy's little videos and pics this evening with the kids and when I pulled up iPhoto it popped up and said:

"no photos"

my dear computer...today is not the day to tell me that out of the hundreds or more pictures that I have stored on my computer, not one is left...today I just don't have the energy to even comprehend such a loss...please fix yourself so in the morning I don't have to throw you out the window and drive over you multiple times...

so...what's behind door #4?

I was going to come up with a whole long way to say this but I'm at a loss at the moment...so for those of you who don't know

We're expecting...

and

It's a boy!!!!

Harrison has been begging for a brother and we feel pretty good about the every other girl boy girl boy thing! But really the best news was that the so far the baby is

HEALTHY!!!

we still have to do an ultrasound on the heart to be sure but everything looked good on the regular u/s so we're pretty pumped! So there you have it...#4 is cooking nicely!

Harrison's 5th bday!

My little bud is actually 5!!! I can't believe that he is so grown up! I mean I remember being 5...which means that I better shape up and be a better mom now!! In this pic Harrison is skyping my parents, telling them how old he is and opening the presents that they sent for him, isn't technology great? Since they aren't able to see the kids that often physically, this has been such a blessing!

Afterwards he opened up the presents that we got for him and Mckinley is oohing and ahhing along with him...is was so cute!

So the family cake was supposed to be red like he wanted but I was almost done with all the red food coloring and it was still pink so I gave up and told him it was the best read I could do! He was such a good sport and said that it was his "almost" red cake and ate it anyway (though of course Ryan teases me about it the whole time).

My happy special boy! He truly has a heart of gold! He is such a sensitive, happy and thoughtful little guy. The other day one of his friends got upset at another of the friends so one ran away crying. Harrison came to me and told me so I told him to give her a hug, so he ran over and did it (though she didn't end up wanting it) so he came back to me and told me that he was going to be her friend to help her. Also, today I forgot about a friends little bday party that he was supposed to go to, and I'm not going to tell you all my excuses for being such a sad excuse for a mother, but the wonder of his response to me when I remembered and panicked because I felt so bad, he said, "Its okay Mom, I'm not mad! How can I make you happy again?" I hope that he never changes his thoughtful ways, always trying to help everyone be as happy as he is. I'm afraid that time will take out the innocence from him, but I'm hopeful that he will be able to sore above the outside influences and be able to keep his sweetness forever!!

(can I just tell you he's got the best eyelashes!!)

This year he wanted a spiderman party. He has always loved superheros so I guess it's about time to have it a bday theme. So first they all "became" spiderman! We gave them masks and glow in the dark bracelets that "shot spiderwebs" out. I told them that they were all on a mission to get the bad guys so now they needed to GET to the bad guys. So...

each one got some silly string and they went at it till they were all gone! This was their "web" as they swung through the city to get to the bad guys. They LOVED this (well, mostly, there were a few that weren't thrilled about it in their hair, but it went relatively smoothly!). So then after they got to the bad guys...

They got to throw water balloons at the two bad guys to get them. I envisioned this as two lines of kids throwing them at two bad guys taking nice little turns, but...it ended up where they were pretty much a mob of spidermans attacking the poor bad guys. And the balloons that took us hours literally to fill, took about 5 minutes to use!! But it was a hit!!

I was pretty proud of my cake...though harrison sadly didn't think it looked like spiderman...oh well...at least I bought red and black frosting so he wasn't pink and grayish brown right??

Harrison's cute little friends!!! Harrison has so much fun and we are so glad that they were able to come and join him!!

Tyler, Oliver, Henry, HARRISON, Peyton, Jefferson, James

Adri, Sophie, Sarah, Zoe

This was the first "drop off" party that I have done. Before I have done it at a park or outside and invited the families with the kids, but it just gets too big. Harrison is old enough to be able to play games and so we tried it this year. It went really well, but the hour and a half was pretty crazy and I was happy when the parents started to come back, though we really had a ton of fun!!

Right now Harrison love superheros, buzz lightyear, "reading" anything he can get his hands on (and if he find a random superhero comic book at the library he will sit there for WEEKS looking at it no matter how much I tell him I don't like that book!), loves going to the library and picking out everything from science and non fiction to fiction and some favorite picture books.

Loves his dog lucy and any animal/bug that he can find...really anything that moves he wants to play with. The other day he caught a fly with is FINGERS (gross!) and came and put it in my face and told me is was his new friend! I told him to through that friend outside and he better wash his hands really well, so he processed to laugh, let the fly go (in the house) catch him again and put him in my face again and laugh and laugh and laugh...bugs...i'll never understand!! Loves being with is friends...each day we get up and he asks what fun things we get to do that day and lately we have been really busy so he hasn't been disappointed! He also is having fun playing with Mckinley now as she gets older...and it is so fun to see when they are running around the house giggling about something and having so much fun jumping on our bed pillowfighting! It makes me smile...you know the smile that even when it leaves your face it really is still written all over it!

One thing that still bug him are his socks...but he refuses to wear shoes without them...so I have finally found one package that he likes...so the days that those socks aren't clean I just have to hold my breath and hope he can handle the "short"socks! He really is pretty self sufficient in the mornings and since they wake up way to early for my taste (why can't they sleep till 7?? anything that has a 5 or 6 in front is too early!!)...they are usually running around the house while I'm trying to drag myself out of bed! So I find all sorts of fun things, but the usual lately is they sneak down and turn on itunes on the computer and turn on a movie complete with all the treats he can find (which since since we have stools in the kitchen is EVERY treat) and cereal boxes sitting around while they share the computer seat eating away till I figure out that they aren't playing nicely on the floor in his room!

I just love my Bud and can't wait to treasure his sweetness forever!!!

soccer: Spring 2011

Another try at Soccer for Harrison. This time we did it with his friends Jack and Oliver, and they had a lot of fun playing soccer, and sometimes staying at the park to play afterwards.

Harrison and Jack being goaly

Running playing pull the flag...which Harrison ran a lot faster doing that then ever playing soccer! He had fun playing soccer but, I guess I don't see him just loving it and wanting to continue forever. So we'll keep on trying!

Preschool Graduation

Harrison just had a fabulous and a half time in preschool this year with Mrs. Perona at her home. I just love her! At the end of the year they did a cute program for us where they memorized their parts and sang songs and danced! Harrison always came home singing a new song and memorized nursery rhymes and told me about the wonderful snacks he had :)! They would make an adorable craft daily and never wanted to miss a day!

Zoe, James, Carson, Mrs. Perona, Claire, Sophie, Harrison

The hatched baby chicks and it was the highlight to harrison to be able to name them and hold them and play with them! He wants some of his own!

the rabbits (one names poopsie that still makes him laugh)

Super wonderful teacher!!

Harrison's tomato plant

Eating some yummy snacks at the end of the performance. I hope that we are still around for Mckinley to have such a great time at preschool too!!!

Easter

Since I am again so behind in blogging, we had a wonderful peaceful Easter. Some Easter pics in random order...

Mckinley is sad that the candy is out of the egg and it isn't closed perfectly

Enjoying the candy and sharing with Daddy

Decorating the eggs...though since *somebody* didn't read the directions its amazing the color actually stayed on the eggs...

A few pics trying to get a good shot of them dressed for church...not great but their still pretty cute kids if I do say so myself!

We live right by a park so we walked down to join in for the whole 5 minutes that the kids found candy. It was great for little kids though because all they did was set off a huge circle and through candy all over the grass. Then when the time came the kids ran and grabbed as much as they could!! It was fun and Mckinley actually got some candy!

Kennedy's six angel day

Oh dear, I have again neglected this blog and will need to catch up again. I really don't know what to do with myself sometimes. I don't know how other's do all that they do but I realize that I am just not that talented or driven sometimes. I get lost and caught up with things...and really half the time I can't even tell what those things were. I really shouldn't be admitting all my shortcoming but its pretty apparent!

Today has been another day of mixed feelings and at the end of the day i wonder how the day has passed. I started the day in not a good mood and was then happily suprised when Ryan ran to the store before work to get balloons so we could do our ballon release before he went on his flight. The kids were so excited and they drew their pictures and we wrote our letters and on the balcony we went. It was a gorgeous sunny morning with no clouds in the sky. We let our balloons go and watched them as they went higher and higher and they were still crystal clear straight up in the sky. When we could see them no more Harrison asked if Heavenly Father had received them now. I hope so.

I received some calls from family and friends, wishing me well, knowing what a day it was. Later on I found on my door step some delicious cupcakes (which are almost all gone, eaten mostly by me I might add) from a dear friend in my ward (who I vt but I find she does more for me then I seem to end up doing for her!) remembering my little Kennedy, whom she never has met. Thank you.

While Mckinley slept I looked at pictures of Kennedy with Harrison and went through some things in her chest that I have here with me. I watched Harrison play with some of the toys and I still cringe slightly but I did enjoy that he and Mckinley when she woke were able to enjoy some of the things that Kennedy did. Later on we watched some little videos of Kennedy that the kids had never seen and that I hadnt' watched for a long time. Too long.

All of this made me sad but not in the way that it used to. I look at the pictures and I have forgotten little things. I listen to her laughing and have to stop to remember that sound. I pick up her toys and try to remember all that she did with it, realizing how young she was when she left. How little of life she knew. It has been six years since I have held her, which seems like a relatively short time but at the same time a lifetime ago. I was always scared of time. Time taking away my memories, my feelings, changing me. But time has come and gone, and is still here. So, I am not sad for her, but even in saying that I feel guilty sometimes. I am sad for what was and sad that I can smile now when I feel like I should just be sad. But I do know that that is not right. I am so happy for her.

I turned on some music later and I danced with the kids and smiled and thought that I need to do this more often. I used to. As I've grown I have become more selfish of my time when it should have been the other way around. The time was slipping away and the kids were put in bed. And again I look back on the day and the impatience, the love, the joy, the sadness, the frustrations, the laughter, the anger, the selfishness, the peace that I felt. So many mixed up emotions in a 24 hour day, it really could have been any day. But it wasn't. It was Kennedy's sixth angel day and she was my amazing little girl and someday I am going to know the person that she will become and she will remember the person that I am, good and bad, and I can't wait!

ER

So our memorial day weekend didn't end like it was supposed to but I guess that things never do go that way. Harrison came down with a fever and a painful ear on Friday. I took him in and the doctor gave him a zpack. I tried to give it too him a couple times but he ended up throwing it up both times so I gave up. I was supposed to take him back in Sat. for a shot of antibiotics but he seemed better and his ear didn't hurt so I waited. Then Sunday he woke up not doing well. I finally made him choke down (literally) some ibuprofen. He was hanging in there but that night just kept getting worse. That night I took his temp. and he was at 104. He begged and cried not to take any medicine so I was too tired to fight him and told him if he went right to sleep I would take it again in two hours.

Well after 2 hours I took her temp and it was 106.1...I PANICKED!!!! So I took it multiple times and it ended up averaging 105.5, which is still NOT GOOD. I called the nurse and she told me to go to the ER since it was 10 something at night. So I made him choke down some ibuprofen and drove him to the ER. I was so grateful that Ryan was home that night so I could let Mckinley sleep.

When we got there and got checked out his temp had come down to 103 after the ibuprofen I'd given him so they gave him some Tylenol right away to see if it would drop some more. Anyway, 5 hours later Harrison's fever had broke, his bed was covered in sweat, he had an IV and had had some blood culture's and blood tests done (that looked fine), some ear drops and some IV antibiotics. They sent us home with some prescriptions for ear drop and more antibiotics.

The next morning (well a few hours later when I could drag myself out of bed) I called the doctor again and said there was NO WAY he was going to be able to take the new antibiotic ( 1 tsp 4 times a day) when he would throw up 1ml of the other med. So I took him into yet ANOTHER doctor to see how he was. I had given him ibuprofen to take away the little bit of fever that had come back. So when we went to the doctor he was acting fine, ear looked fine, temp was fine, everything was FINE! So he said I didn't have give him the antibiotic if I didn't want to and he thought that he never really had an ear infection to begin with, that it was just his allergies causing pressure in his ear and that the fever was just a nasty virus. Don't you just LOVE the whole medical institution (sorry Dad, not you)? In fact I was starting to get a panic attach just sitting in the ER waiting for the doctor! UGH!