The Love Story I Wrote Three Years Ago Is A Failure, But Why Does My Heart Still Crying Now?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Today We Talked About People
We met for the second time after yesterday, same place and same time, but today he was late for half an hour.
"Dude, you late! For 30 minutes. You lost?" I laughed.
"Yeah... I know... Things still haven't change in KL, like usual, traffic jam." He stared at my coffee and continued.
"Same coffee again? What so special about it?" He curious about the coffee I ordered.
"Iced Caramel Macchiato, one of my best friends introduced this coffee to me last few months ago. I like the way it taste, you can give it a try." I said.
"Emm... I want to see how good is it. I thought you only drink cappuccino..." He skeptical about the taste of my coffee.
He curious, because usually once I found my favorite drinks, I will stuck with it for a very long period, sometime I don't even bother to try a new taste. He walked into the shop and grab his drink, like usual, I lighted my cigarette while waiting for him.
"Hey, you never thought of quit smoking?" He took the first sip of his coffee.
"Of course I thought of it before, but now I lost my reason to quit. Nah... I don't want to talk about it anymore." That question recalled friendship and relationship that cause me a lot of pain. These days, I just don't bother to care about it anymore, since they don't even bother to solve the problem. The relationship had seem to lost the value to keep and protect.
"I don't have much friends these days... You considered the few of my good friends that I can really talked to." Loneliness was shown in his eyes when he said these words.
"Seem like when you getting older, friends that can talk with their heart was getting less, wasn't it?" I continued what he didn't get to finish.
"At list I still have you!" He said it, and both of us laughed.
"Good friend is getting difficult to find... I should say, people that willing to talk with their heart is getting less. I have a lot of friends, but I known it very clearly, only few of them are really put their heart in our relationship. Think about it, how many people can really be like us? Have a cup of best coffee while sharing our feeling with each other?" I pointed to the another table not far away from us and continued.
"You see, that guys with another two girls, he probably tried to shown them the best side of him, and the girls probably was too dumb and innocent to think his dirty jokes was humor... And they probably just know the guys for few months. We both guys, and we all know the way guys talk."
"How you knew they was just get to know each other?" He curious why I said they just knew each other for not very long.
"Because the girls asked for his number. Don't you think it weird if I already know you for a very long time and I don't even have your number?" He burst into laughter.
"And the girls asked for his occupation and where he from. I will know what my friend doing and where is he from, would I?" We all laughed again.
"People get interested to new people they just know, because they are mystery, and there are still lot things to explore in that person. And sometime, they become not so interested with their old friends, because not much they can explore with their old friends anymore. And a lot of people will denied this, because they will still stay as a friends, but just they don't realize they are getting less to spend time with their old friends. It not wrong, because get to know new people is interesting, don't you think?" I shared my opinion with him.
He nodded his head, and I continued.
"We are lucky, because we appreciated each other, and we willing to tolerance with each other. And that's the reason why we still here." I smiled while enjoying my coffee.
-To Be Continued-
We met for the second time after yesterday, same place and same time, but today he was late for half an hour.
"Dude, you late! For 30 minutes. You lost?" I laughed.
"Yeah... I know... Things still haven't change in KL, like usual, traffic jam." He stared at my coffee and continued.
"Same coffee again? What so special about it?" He curious about the coffee I ordered.
"Iced Caramel Macchiato, one of my best friends introduced this coffee to me last few months ago. I like the way it taste, you can give it a try." I said.
"Emm... I want to see how good is it. I thought you only drink cappuccino..." He skeptical about the taste of my coffee.
He curious, because usually once I found my favorite drinks, I will stuck with it for a very long period, sometime I don't even bother to try a new taste. He walked into the shop and grab his drink, like usual, I lighted my cigarette while waiting for him.
"Hey, you never thought of quit smoking?" He took the first sip of his coffee.
"Of course I thought of it before, but now I lost my reason to quit. Nah... I don't want to talk about it anymore." That question recalled friendship and relationship that cause me a lot of pain. These days, I just don't bother to care about it anymore, since they don't even bother to solve the problem. The relationship had seem to lost the value to keep and protect.
"I don't have much friends these days... You considered the few of my good friends that I can really talked to." Loneliness was shown in his eyes when he said these words.
"Seem like when you getting older, friends that can talk with their heart was getting less, wasn't it?" I continued what he didn't get to finish.
"At list I still have you!" He said it, and both of us laughed.
"Good friend is getting difficult to find... I should say, people that willing to talk with their heart is getting less. I have a lot of friends, but I known it very clearly, only few of them are really put their heart in our relationship. Think about it, how many people can really be like us? Have a cup of best coffee while sharing our feeling with each other?" I pointed to the another table not far away from us and continued.
"You see, that guys with another two girls, he probably tried to shown them the best side of him, and the girls probably was too dumb and innocent to think his dirty jokes was humor... And they probably just know the guys for few months. We both guys, and we all know the way guys talk."
"How you knew they was just get to know each other?" He curious why I said they just knew each other for not very long.
"Because the girls asked for his number. Don't you think it weird if I already know you for a very long time and I don't even have your number?" He burst into laughter.
"And the girls asked for his occupation and where he from. I will know what my friend doing and where is he from, would I?" We all laughed again.
"People get interested to new people they just know, because they are mystery, and there are still lot things to explore in that person. And sometime, they become not so interested with their old friends, because not much they can explore with their old friends anymore. And a lot of people will denied this, because they will still stay as a friends, but just they don't realize they are getting less to spend time with their old friends. It not wrong, because get to know new people is interesting, don't you think?" I shared my opinion with him.
He nodded his head, and I continued.
"We are lucky, because we appreciated each other, and we willing to tolerance with each other. And that's the reason why we still here." I smiled while enjoying my coffee.
-To Be Continued-
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Yesterday We Talked About Death
"My father passed away when I was t UK last few months ago..." He said it with emotion filled in his words.
"Before he gone, he begged for his family to be there with him, he wanted to see his own son face for last... But I was not there..." He was near tears. He continued.
"I... I was having fun with friends while he suffered the most. I was drank, spent money,clubbed with friends." This time, he shear his tears quietly.
"Now, it's too late... Everything was too late..." His eyes was full with tears.
I didn't say anything for few minutes, I knew the best way to comforted him was to let him expressed it out.
I looked him in the eyes and said softly.
"People come and gone. When they come we felt happy, and when they gone we felt sad. Sadness was part of the emotion we need to went through, and it's nothing wrong to felt sad. But when you felt it, learn how to detach it and feel other feeling too. Happiness, graceful, angry, regret... Not matter good or bad feeling, felt it... That's what make life complete, but learn to detach from bad feeling."
I recalled the memory depth down my mind, I used to felt the same when my grandfather passed away. Kinda funny to other people if I said I felt lucky, at list I still can spent the last moment with him. He was weak, he asked to go nearest to him ad grabbed my hand. "Pray, pray if you have problems. Pray to me..." Even for someone that near death, he still wished to protect his grandson. But I was still young, death was something so alien to me. And I am scared. I didn't even say a word at that moment.
"I hated him so much! I hated him for not taking care of us when we need a father the most!" He kept crying.
"But funny, now he's gone and I never get change to see him anymore." He stopped crying and trying to dry his tears.
I passed him the tissue. To make sure he get what I said, I repeat again.
"You made mistake, you father made mistake, I made mistake... We all does. We not perfect, we born with flaw, all of us does. But most importantly, we need to learn from our mistake, and we detach for that feeling."
"What's feeling?" He's shivering.
"Felt sorry for ourselves. We felt it, and detach from it, and try to feel other emotion too."
He nodded his head, and I continued.
"This is important, you felt sad now, and you felt sorry, it's fine. But have hope for tomorrow."
And he nodded his head again. He smiled.
"This is the lesson for all of us as well, learn from our mistakes. Learn to appreciate people that important to us while we still around... While they still around. Love them. I'm busy these days, but I still tried to called my family every week, so they felt relief that I still doing fine." I said.
He nodded again, he agreed.
"Can we meet again tomorrow? I mean if you were free." He laughed and continued.
"They all said these day you kept joined this and that, training...competition. Like you want to take down the world." He kept laughing.
"Yes, of course." I laughing as well.
"I have to go back, thought of having dinner together with my mother." He said it while staring at his watch.
"It's my time too, go for it!" I smiled.
"Hope to see you tomorrow, glad you are the one that I spoken to, desperately needed someone to talk to but I don't felt like talk to them..."
"Felt just like they talking for the sake of talking, comfort me just because they need to. But it's different when I talked to you."
"What's made you felt different?" I curious and asked.
"You talked for the sake of me... When you talked to the people, you talked for the sake of them and not yourself. Felt just like always." He smiled.
It was a sunny day... Just like another normal afternoon, felt different when I shared another value with the people around me. Life is short, we should share what we had learn with other people before our time run out. I was thought if everyone is understanding like him, would it be a better world? Our conversation ended and he left after we said goodbye to each other. Sometime, words brought us together and it tighten our relationship, no matter family, love or friends. I felt lucky our relationship still maintained the same like last time, some people just lose it when the time washed away everything.
"My father passed away when I was t UK last few months ago..." He said it with emotion filled in his words.
"Before he gone, he begged for his family to be there with him, he wanted to see his own son face for last... But I was not there..." He was near tears. He continued.
"I... I was having fun with friends while he suffered the most. I was drank, spent money,clubbed with friends." This time, he shear his tears quietly.
"Now, it's too late... Everything was too late..." His eyes was full with tears.
I didn't say anything for few minutes, I knew the best way to comforted him was to let him expressed it out.
I looked him in the eyes and said softly.
"People come and gone. When they come we felt happy, and when they gone we felt sad. Sadness was part of the emotion we need to went through, and it's nothing wrong to felt sad. But when you felt it, learn how to detach it and feel other feeling too. Happiness, graceful, angry, regret... Not matter good or bad feeling, felt it... That's what make life complete, but learn to detach from bad feeling."
I recalled the memory depth down my mind, I used to felt the same when my grandfather passed away. Kinda funny to other people if I said I felt lucky, at list I still can spent the last moment with him. He was weak, he asked to go nearest to him ad grabbed my hand. "Pray, pray if you have problems. Pray to me..." Even for someone that near death, he still wished to protect his grandson. But I was still young, death was something so alien to me. And I am scared. I didn't even say a word at that moment.
"I hated him so much! I hated him for not taking care of us when we need a father the most!" He kept crying.
"But funny, now he's gone and I never get change to see him anymore." He stopped crying and trying to dry his tears.
I passed him the tissue. To make sure he get what I said, I repeat again.
"You made mistake, you father made mistake, I made mistake... We all does. We not perfect, we born with flaw, all of us does. But most importantly, we need to learn from our mistake, and we detach for that feeling."
"What's feeling?" He's shivering.
"Felt sorry for ourselves. We felt it, and detach from it, and try to feel other emotion too."
He nodded his head, and I continued.
"This is important, you felt sad now, and you felt sorry, it's fine. But have hope for tomorrow."
And he nodded his head again. He smiled.
"This is the lesson for all of us as well, learn from our mistakes. Learn to appreciate people that important to us while we still around... While they still around. Love them. I'm busy these days, but I still tried to called my family every week, so they felt relief that I still doing fine." I said.
He nodded again, he agreed.
"Can we meet again tomorrow? I mean if you were free." He laughed and continued.
"They all said these day you kept joined this and that, training...competition. Like you want to take down the world." He kept laughing.
"Yes, of course." I laughing as well.
"I have to go back, thought of having dinner together with my mother." He said it while staring at his watch.
"It's my time too, go for it!" I smiled.
"Hope to see you tomorrow, glad you are the one that I spoken to, desperately needed someone to talk to but I don't felt like talk to them..."
"Felt just like they talking for the sake of talking, comfort me just because they need to. But it's different when I talked to you."
"What's made you felt different?" I curious and asked.
"You talked for the sake of me... When you talked to the people, you talked for the sake of them and not yourself. Felt just like always." He smiled.
It was a sunny day... Just like another normal afternoon, felt different when I shared another value with the people around me. Life is short, we should share what we had learn with other people before our time run out. I was thought if everyone is understanding like him, would it be a better world? Our conversation ended and he left after we said goodbye to each other. Sometime, words brought us together and it tighten our relationship, no matter family, love or friends. I felt lucky our relationship still maintained the same like last time, some people just lose it when the time washed away everything.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Meeting 2
"You've changed... You looked different." That was the first question he asked me after 3 years.
"Am I? Why you said that?" I laughed.
"Seem a lot of thoughts had filled inside your mind, you looked wise..."
"Wise? Erm... Tell me something about that, will you?" I smiled.
"Seem like you been through a lot all these years when I away..."
"That all you can said after all these years? You mind to grab a coffee first?" I laughed and said, and we both laughed.
He grabbed a coffee and sat down, and he paused for a while, and asked.
"Erm... You not blamed me for accused you last time?" Seem he has been waited for 3 years to ask this question.
"It's fine, don't let something like that bothered you."
"I thought you will be pissed... I felt uncomfortable to seeing you so calm."
I not pissed, just felt sad didn't get a change to farewell with you last time, that's all..."
"My bad... I didn't leave a contact to you last time. But luckily I managed to get your new phone number..."
"Or else we will be lost each other forever." I took a sip of my coffee and continued his words, he smiled.
Honestly, I was pissed at 3 years ago, because he rather believed other people words than giving me a opportunity to explain. He left... Without saying anything, I was confused, I felt incomplete without knowing what was happened that time. But not all the people get to meet up like this, some people even felt regret for losing someone important in their life. I felt lucky... I felt lucky because we get to met again before I leave. We talked for hours, like the time was slowing down for us, let us replace what we couldn't last time. Suddenly, he paused for a while, and his expression changed.
-To Be Continue-
"You've changed... You looked different." That was the first question he asked me after 3 years.
"Am I? Why you said that?" I laughed.
"Seem a lot of thoughts had filled inside your mind, you looked wise..."
"Wise? Erm... Tell me something about that, will you?" I smiled.
"Seem like you been through a lot all these years when I away..."
"That all you can said after all these years? You mind to grab a coffee first?" I laughed and said, and we both laughed.
He grabbed a coffee and sat down, and he paused for a while, and asked.
"Erm... You not blamed me for accused you last time?" Seem he has been waited for 3 years to ask this question.
"It's fine, don't let something like that bothered you."
"I thought you will be pissed... I felt uncomfortable to seeing you so calm."
I not pissed, just felt sad didn't get a change to farewell with you last time, that's all..."
"My bad... I didn't leave a contact to you last time. But luckily I managed to get your new phone number..."
"Or else we will be lost each other forever." I took a sip of my coffee and continued his words, he smiled.
Honestly, I was pissed at 3 years ago, because he rather believed other people words than giving me a opportunity to explain. He left... Without saying anything, I was confused, I felt incomplete without knowing what was happened that time. But not all the people get to meet up like this, some people even felt regret for losing someone important in their life. I felt lucky... I felt lucky because we get to met again before I leave. We talked for hours, like the time was slowing down for us, let us replace what we couldn't last time. Suddenly, he paused for a while, and his expression changed.
-To Be Continue-
Monday, April 20, 2009
The Meeting
Yesterday was a sunny day, it might be just another normal afternoon for most of the people. One of my friend was just came back form UK, called me for a tea time after he reached his home. Of course, without second thought, I promised him.
He had been left for 3 years, and we didn't contact with each other even since, both of us was way too busy for our own works. I was quite surprised that I am the first one he called after he came back. We have been friends for 7 years, we fought, we argued, we laughed, we cried, we shared... And we were best friends in other people eyes. For some reason, he misunderstand me, and he left without saying goodbye with me. And we lost contact even since, but I never forget about his essence all this years.
Our meeting place was Starbucks. Like usual, I ordered my old time flavour coffee, and grabbed some magazine to read while waiting for him. The place was crowded, and the shop was filled with people that passed by, but somehow, everything that happened that noon was seem so contrast to me.
After 15 minutes, I saw him kept looking for someone not far away from my place, I knew that was him. I waved my hand, and he finally saw me sitting among the crowd. He seem surprised to see me but he still look the same, and I glad his appearance didn't change much, but I saw something different from his smile, I knew something was bothering him...
-To Be Continue-
Yesterday was a sunny day, it might be just another normal afternoon for most of the people. One of my friend was just came back form UK, called me for a tea time after he reached his home. Of course, without second thought, I promised him.
He had been left for 3 years, and we didn't contact with each other even since, both of us was way too busy for our own works. I was quite surprised that I am the first one he called after he came back. We have been friends for 7 years, we fought, we argued, we laughed, we cried, we shared... And we were best friends in other people eyes. For some reason, he misunderstand me, and he left without saying goodbye with me. And we lost contact even since, but I never forget about his essence all this years.
Our meeting place was Starbucks. Like usual, I ordered my old time flavour coffee, and grabbed some magazine to read while waiting for him. The place was crowded, and the shop was filled with people that passed by, but somehow, everything that happened that noon was seem so contrast to me.
After 15 minutes, I saw him kept looking for someone not far away from my place, I knew that was him. I waved my hand, and he finally saw me sitting among the crowd. He seem surprised to see me but he still look the same, and I glad his appearance didn't change much, but I saw something different from his smile, I knew something was bothering him...
-To Be Continue-
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Being Happy Doesn't Mean That Everything Is Perfect. It Means That You've Decided To look Beyond The Imperfections.
Running away from the problems we facing seem to be something very common these days, because they find it is very comfort when they not deal with the difficult of the problems they had. But does that mean everything is going to be fine? Avoid it doesn't mean the problems do not exist, sometime we just don't realize we are making it worst when the time passed by.
Running away from the problems we facing seem to be something very common these days, because they find it is very comfort when they not deal with the difficult of the problems they had. But does that mean everything is going to be fine? Avoid it doesn't mean the problems do not exist, sometime we just don't realize we are making it worst when the time passed by.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
All The Knowledge I Possess Everyone Else Can Acquire, But My Heart Is All My Own - Johann Von Goethe
It has been a long time since last posted, just finished my final project and finally can fully focused on my training. Now at list can rest for a while... I think... Since I have a bit of free time now before the new semester is start, now it is time for me to throw my works aside, and started to relating to all the people that important in my life. And it is time for me to work on the book I planned to write few months ago, to share the knowledge and value I have acquired. Sharing is the best thing that could even happened in our life, be good a listener to my friends that needed helps, sharing my valuable time with my family, and help them out as much as I can. My knowledge is limitless, but my time is limited. At list now I still can do things by followed my heart, while I still can.
It has been a long time since last posted, just finished my final project and finally can fully focused on my training. Now at list can rest for a while... I think... Since I have a bit of free time now before the new semester is start, now it is time for me to throw my works aside, and started to relating to all the people that important in my life. And it is time for me to work on the book I planned to write few months ago, to share the knowledge and value I have acquired. Sharing is the best thing that could even happened in our life, be good a listener to my friends that needed helps, sharing my valuable time with my family, and help them out as much as I can. My knowledge is limitless, but my time is limited. At list now I still can do things by followed my heart, while I still can.
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