Let me sum up...

Yes, it's literally been over a year now since I've posted anything- yikes!! So much has happened that I'll never catch up so "let me sum up" (Indigo, Princess Bride).

This was our Christmas letter which gives a good synopsis of life at the Larsens through 2012:

Larsen Family 2012 “Twelve Days of Christmas” Count Down

12- Length of Ammon’s long runs on Saturdays to prepare for the Ragnar Relay he plans to run from Wickenburg to Tempe, AZ in February. Also the number of relay members he will be splitting the 200 mile race distance run all day and all night. Ammon will compete in the 17 mile distance.

11- Years of marriage Ammon and Melanie celebrated in June. For our anniversary, we went to the unique Biosphere 2 right here in Tucson. It was quite an amazing tour and a fun way to celebrate our friendship and love.

10- How many months it took Ammon to finish building the tree house in our backyard. He worked on free weekends and evenings finally completing the last details just before Connor’s birthday party at our home in early September.

9- Months of the year we experience “summer” weather here in Arizona. We always enjoy any opportunity to get out of the heat to bask in more comfortable climates, especially in the summer months (see #6).

8- Connor turned 8 and was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in August. Ammon performed the baptism by the power of the Priesthood of God and Connor’s great-grandfather Gordon Maughan confirmed him blessing him with the Gift of the Holy Ghost also by the power of the Priesthood. We have seen a change in our son as he’s learned to exercise and use this precious gift. He also started Scouts and continues to enjoy drawing, writing, and to complain about piano lessons ;)

7- Number of days Melanie was away in May on a young cancer survivor’s kayaking trip down the beautiful Nantahala River in North Carolina. She enjoyed learning the skills of kayaking a personal kayak from experienced guides, staying in the lovely log cabins, not having to cook all week where she could instead enjoy healthy vegan food prepared by personal chefs and the opportunity to mix with other survivors from around the country.

6- Road trips we took as a family this year. We took 3 to California all to see Ammon’s grandfather; the last trip was to celebrate his 90^th birthday at Thanksgiving time.  Two trips were to Utah, the first to attend the temple sealing of Ammon’s recently returned-missionary brother Jimmy in June and the second to attend October General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Salt Lake City. We were present in the session where the Tucson temple was announced! Melanie shouted with joy, to which she received many quizzical looks from those around us until they realized that’s where we were from. The sixth trip of the year was to Texas in July for a family reunion. Along the way, we visited various cousins, aunts and uncles and Melanie’s great-grandmother in Oklahoma. We enjoyed our visit with her and were so ecstatic that our children were able to meet and spend time with their 98-year-old great-great grandmother! Once we arrived in Texas, we went on our first family cruise out of Galveston with Melanie’s family and loved it.

5- About this many inches of hair re-growth Melanie has gained since she completed her chemotherapy in February. As many of you know, Melanie is in remission from cancer! She is excited that her hair is growing back in and is adjusting to life as a short-haired brunette. Ammon still has a hard time picking her out in crowds as he often looks for the long-haired blond she used to be. What a welcome “challenge” to have a healthy, surviving spouse!

4- Kids in our house for the last 2 + months as we have opened our home to two foster children. We have known the family ever since we have lived here and when the opportunity came to bless their family and ours, we were willing and available. A larger family suits us well and we will be pursuing foster-adoption options in the new year.

3- Number of weeks to get our house back to normal following a water leak. The restoration company ripped out the wet sheetrock to the studs in the kitchen walls and ceilings necessitating days of noisy fans to dry out the wood and weeks of reconstruction as part of the “minor” remodeling project we underwent. As part of putting our kitchen back together, we decided to make a few cosmetic changes including adding new A/C ducts, higher insulation value in the walls and ceiling, recessed lighting, the removal of a wall and addition of a new archway and decorative arch niche, tile flooring throughout our downstairs as well as granite countertops and paint.  We also re-piped the house so the leak problem will not happen again. Three is also the number of months it took to finalize the sale of our home in Fort Collins, Colorado. We are grateful to no longer be long-distance landlords at this point in our lives.         

2- The age Amelia turned in February. She is a thriving toddler who is developing happily as she enjoys organizing by size most things she comes across, doing puzzles, curiously examining every crack in the sidewalk and scrutinizing every bug she finds, and of course trying to keep up with her big brother and the other big kids in our home. If this year ends with her being potty-trained, we won’t be disappointed ;)

1- New job for Ammon. In August he was able to change to a position he really enjoys doing family therapy work at a community counseling agency. His Spanish speaking ability has come in very handy in his work on a daily basis. He also was able to become a Reserve Chaplain in the United States Air Force advancing to the rank of 1^st Lieutenant.  He has enjoyed the opportunity to serve returning Airmen from war and their wives in marriage retreats a weekend a month for the last couple months. He loves the work so much and looks forward to the possibility of making this a full-time career in the future.

We wish all of you a blessed Christmas season and

A joyful New Year!

Love,

The Larsens

Ammon, Melanie, Connor, Amelia and remembering Abigail

UPDATE:

Ammon did run that Ragnar race and loved it. In fact, he's planning to run the trail race this Fall and the road race again next Spring. What can I say, he's a die hard. To commemorate all his running (and to keep him close while he's been away on training these 6 weeks) I made him a tshirt quilt from his old running shirts! (Yes, he knew I was planning to eventually do this.) Hope he's surprised!

Before he left, we had some family pictures taken. They turned out great. I'm working on getting my prints framed and my walls rearranged to accommodate all our nice shots. Our amazing photographer put them on her website Marissa Ettinger Photography.

The kids we had in our home for 3 months were moved to their permanent placement (we were only temporary since they weren't adoptable) in January which allowed us time to take the foster care classes to become licensed. We attended as a family twice a week for 3 months just finishing before Ammon went away for his Chaplain Basic Training in SC. The day we heard we were licensed, May 2nd, we received our first placement, a newborn baby girl!! We were highly surprised to get a newborn since we expected to receive older kids as we said we'd take kids 0-8 (no kids older than our own). God knew we really wanted a baby. Tender mercy. She looks to be adoptable but time will only tell. We pray to keep her.

I am still in remission. My most recent check-up, mid-April, showed my blood counts the best they've ever been! My doctor also said there's a new cancer blood marker for ovarian cancer, called the HE4, that I'll start having tested next time (in 3 months). That will help be a more precise indicator of recurrence in conjunction with the CA125.

Our life is crazy these days but we are so blessed. We're trying our best to live a good, well-balanced existence. It can only get better from here on out. We can surely concur with this sentiment:

"Life is good if we live in such a way to make it so" Benjamin de Hoyos, True Happiness: A Conscious Decision, October 2005 General Conference.

I'm in REMISSION!!!

So it's official...I'M IN REMISSION!!! I saw my doctor and even though my counts aren't totally normal yet (my CA-125 was the same as the previous month- go figure), that is how she classifies me. She said there is no presence of any cancer that can be detected so the number not being perfect can just mean endometriosis. I still am a bit troubled by that categorization because is that really what's going on? Such a hard spot to be in! I keep telling myself that I just have to celebrate where I'm at and "not borrow trouble" as my father-in-law says. That's good advice to keep in the moment and not worry about what should or could or might be.

All I can say is that I am so happy to be through the treatments and to have my energy level back! It's hard to believe it's been over 2 months since my last chemo treatment. So exciting.

I went to my first cancer survivor meeting. It was weird to think I could qualify to be in that category. I felt awkward going with my numbers still a concern but since I'm done with treatment, I fit the standard. The meeting talked a lot about just that...not feeling like you can call yourself a "survivor". The 3-time cancer survivor speaker who is also an oncology nurse said that she and so many people express this concern because they fear a relapse. That's definitely what I fear too.

During my doctor's visit, I asked about that. She gave me good news that should improve my recurrence rate. She said she went to a tumor conference where a renowned pathologist looked at my tumor and did not see the nodule on my omentum that originally had classified me as a Stage 3B. He said there was presence of cancer there but not a bump so my stage has been downgraded to 3A- yeah!! That means my recurrence rate decreased from 60-70% to 50%. Still not zero but I love that my odds have improved. I queried when relapse could occur and she indicated that it usually occurs within the first 2 years. Usually patients are followed every 3 months for the first year and every month for the second then yearly. She asked how I would like to be followed. I decided on being seen more often than 3 months out (I'll go back in 2) and that I wanted my blood work taken monthly.

We again hit on whether surgery was recommended. She again said the benefit isn't really there statistically. So again, I felt I shouldn't go that route.

I asked her if there were any maintenance treatments that could benefit me and she told me about 2 drugs I could try. The first I have taken before and the other comes with an enormous list of likely side effects, including the possibility of death- hmm, isn't that what I'm trying to beat?... She said for the first drug, studies have been done where patients take the drug monthly for a year which resulted in their time to recurrence being stretched out by 7 months. The second was administered in the same way yielding a 4 month stretch before recurrence. My doctor said both were available to me but that those stats are not very impressive and didn't think they were worth it. I agreed. So basically, there's nothing more that can be done but to keep checking my blood work and continue to pray that the cancer is gone for good.

So, what am I to do in the meantime?...celebrate my small victories!! One thing I'm doing to celebrate and live life is to go on a cancer survivor trip. A dear lady in my ward let me know about a young adult cancer survivor camp that pays for participants to enjoy "outdoor therapy" high-adventure trips. Cancer survivors can choose from rock climbing, surfing or white-water kayaking. I chose the latter. There weren't supposed to be any openings until next summer but one opened up at the last minute for next week and I'm going!! They will fly me out to the Great Smoky Mountains for a week where I can learn to kayak! I'll stay in a log cabin with a hot tub (I know, it'll be rough) and kayak each day. One day we'll go white water rafting too! I'm super excited and can't wait for this great experience! I'll get lots of pictures and post em on the blog when I get back. The organization is called First Descents. Check out their website firstdescents.org  Wish me luck in taming the rapids!

Wig looks

These are my various looks these days:

Be sure to vote for your favorite on the poll.

Rodeo Break visit to Grandpa in California

To "celebrate" the end of my chemo treatments we took a road trip to CA during Rodeo Break (end of Feb) to visit Ammon's grandpa. We love going there. As soon as we arrived, Connor got out of the car and said "it smells like California!...it smells like grandpa's house!...it smells like grandpa's grass!" I think he's right- California has a distinct smell. It smells like the ocean and palm trees and grass (which we lack in AZ) and we love it!

We headed down to the beach early one morning. Ammon ran along the boardwalk, Connor went in the ocean and Amelia and I just watched from a blanket.

Connor was irritated that I didn't bring his swim trunks (I didn't think he'd want to get in the freezing water in February) so I suggested he go in his jammies and we'd wash them after. He definitely took me up on that suggestion and was soaked from head to toe! I'm sure he was quite cold. The water was frigid evidenced by the die-hard surfers all wearing their wet suits (all the black dots in the water are surfers in the picture above this one).

After we returned from the beach, we were told by Ron, grandpa's helper, that one of us had left the back door open and while we were gone, a squirrel had run into the house! Ron spent about an hour trying to chase the thing back out! He didn't appreciate that very much. It wasn't all bad, we all had a good laugh talking about it and I'm sure it also got his heart pumping. Besides, it's fun to have a little adventure in your life. ;)

Connor enjoyed making Angry Birds out of great-grandpa's legos.

Great-grandpa Maughan wanted to get a picture with each kid to put in their copy of his life history "A Glorious Struggle".

I love this picture

Kissing through the glass. Grandpa has an enormous front window that begs to be...kissed.

Connor's turn

Oh no, mommy caught me kissing boys!

A favorite father-child interaction is to play "tick-tock". Each kid loves to take their turn. Check out their videos below.

I love grandpa. I think of him like my own.

Grandpa likes to spoil us by taking us out to eat when we visit.

We love you grandpa!! We're so glad we were able to come see you!

Left up to me...

The dilemma: So, I've been done with chemo for over a month now. I had my follow-up visit a couple weeks ago with my doctor (who had been on maternity leave) where I was hoping to get more answers and direction on my continued care. When she told me my CA-125 had gone down to 28.5 (last time it was 47) I shouted "hurray". My number had dropped 20 points in a month! That seemed pretty good to me considering my numbers had been flirting back and forth in the 40s the last few times. She burst my bubble when she responded that it still isn't good enough. Unfortunately, the fact that it has not gone down to normal is still baffling. She indicated it should be in the 10s or lower following chemo. 

Knowing this, she presented me with a couple options- either we keep me under observation checking my blood monthly or we go in for a "second look" laproscopic surgery. In bringing up the surgery, she said that statistically, a second look doesn't improve prognosis. This used to be the standard practice following chemo but since it didn't improve outcomes, it was discontinued. I asked her if she would recommend it for me. She said it was up to me. I asked her if she believed the elevated level could be due to endometriosis as her colleagues had suggested. She said it's hard to know but it's possible. My doctor also mentioned that we never had a baseline for me before the surgeries and chemo so perhaps this is or approaching normal for me. 

Back to the surgery option I asked what she would advise me to do. Again she said it was up to me but, she said, with me being so young, she would do everything she possibly could to make sure the cancer was gone. So I thought that was my answer. She asked which option I was leaning toward. I said the surgery. Then she said she had to warn me that, with the previous surgeries I had had and having just finished chemo, my body might have more scar tissue around my abdomen. This becomes a problem if there is too much and she can't get the scope in turning my simple laproscopic surgery into a full vertical incision major abdominal surgery. That would bring the unwelcome consequences of a 6 week recovery, not being able to lift my daughter again for that time, increased risk for infection, etc. That threw me for a loop. I asked if she thought I really would have a lot of scarring and again she couldn't say until she was in there.  We left it for me to decide and let her know if I want to do the surgery. 

The thought process: So I left and called Ammon to discuss. We came to the decision to proceed with the laproscopic surgery but if it would need to switch to the full incision then to stop. That seemed ok. 

Then in speaking with my parents, my dad asked a good question of what the harm would be in waiting another month. Could a new tumor really grow that fast. I remembered back to that same issue when I was to have my surgery after my tumor was removed. It was very difficult to get on my doctors surgery schedule and she told me if we needed to wait 3-4 weeks to get me in, that my cancer was not going to grow in that time. She said it was fast growing cancer but not that fast growing. 

 

Another thing to consider is if I have surgery and residual cancer is found, I'd need to wait 3 weeks to recover before starting chemo or whatever treatment that would follow, plus however much time it would take to get in to even have the surgery. But if I waited and my counts go up then I'd be out 4 weeks from my last doctor's visit before starting treatment, if it was needed. For either choice, the time frame would be about the same.

The decision: Considering that I had a negative CT scan, a significant decrease in my CA-125, the other factors spelled out above and after praying about it, I feel the risk is too great to do the surgery now. I made that choice and then had a conversation with someone else whose husband has cancer that helped confirm it. She communicated to me that it took awhile for his number to come down too. Granted he had a different type of cancer but it seems right to think it might take awhile for all of that chemo to work through the cells of the body until they show in the blood work that they're healthy again. So, I've decided to wait on surgery...at least until the next time my blood is drawn. If it's still not low enough, then I'll probably go through this same thought process again...

Winter Happenings

Fall Leftovers

The Frankenstein crowd at the ward Halloween party.

Ammon and I sang with other ward members at the Stake BBQ in November. We sang John Denver's "Grandma's Feather Bed". It was so much fun!

Look at those hill-billies! Several of us blacked-out a front tooth. "Do I have something right here?

 

 Christmas

Angry bird snowman...

Coo-coo for legos

What is it?

So happy with her new stroller to push her baby.

A pogo stick

Goofball...for Romney!

The aftermath...

Peek-a-boo

New Year's Eve

We headed to Tohono Chul Park as a family. What a beautiful botanical garden. We enjoyed it!

Visitors 

Ammon's family came just after Christmas but how it is possible that I don't have any pictures but one that I can't even get to transfer from my phone is beyond me...Thanks for visiting us Larsens!

My sister Laura came to visit in January with her daughter Olivia. One day we went to Sabino Canyon. Here are Olivia and Amelia climbing onto the tram.

Close up of cousin Olivia and Amelia

Walking down from the top

Cute girlies together

Cousins snuggling and reading.

My mom came for my last chemo in February.

Thanks Mom, Laura and Olivia for coming to see us!

  

The Tree House

Starting the tree house project by digging post holes.

Lots of hard work but Connor is the one looking tired.

"Hooray! Good job dad getting those huge rocks and dirt out to build my tree house."

The framework is up.

Shaping the rungs of the ladder.

Twisting in the anchor for the monkey swing.

Testing said swing. Amelia loves to be sung the "coo-coo clock" song as she swings.

Platform installed. Connor tests it out with his friend Hayden.

Amelia enjoying the new access to the otherwise too-tall tree the tree house allows her.

A little assistance still required.

Even mom takes a few moments to enjoy the tree house.

The tree house is not yet complete because of what happened next...

Winter Storm!

In January, we had a leak in our ceiling that gushed down the walls and ceilings nearly flooding our entire first floor!!

The gold is where the plumber repaired the destructive leak.

Here is the ceiling all swollen and puckering.

Ammon helping to clean up the water on the floor. It was actively leaking where the pots are located. I had already moved the furniture outside before Ammon arrived home from work. I had also already removed several gallons of water in that little 1-gallon wet-dry vac you see there. Not fun!

We realized the job was too big for us so the "professionals" came in and did this...

 

 

It was shocking to see our walls and ceilings ripped out to the studs! (When Connor saw our house like this, he said it looked like a haunted ghost house ! He was afraid to sleep in it the first night.)... Thankfully, our insurance paid for everything to be repaired.

The first thing we did with the insurance money was replace the offending polybutylene pipes. The red and blue tubes are the new pipes.

We had the contractors make a few changes to the space while the walls were open. We added recessed lights, more A/C lines, thicker insulation in the walls and ceilings, and removed the wall between the kitchen and dining room adding an arch instead.

Once the contractors came in and re-drywall and textured everything, we decided to do the painting ourselves. That turned out to be the biggest job! Besides doing most of it, I was sick from my last chemo. 

I actually did smile a few times during the process...it was caught on camera!

Ammon finishing up the ceiling.

Little helper.

 After we finished painting, we enjoyed it for maybe a week when we decided to redo the flooring...

Mostly intact kitchen floor with the broken up floor in the distance. The life-saving removal tool we rented. Worth..every..cent!

I love how you can see a huge cloud of dust even in the picture from the tile demolition. Maybe I shouldn't have painted first...it looks good though, huh?

Utter...destruction

Same room as above cleared out, crack filled (red), and first line of tile laid in the distance.

My man working the wet saw.

We did hire some help to give him guidance and because I feared it would never get done if not! Thankfully, was all done in a week. Good job Ammon!

My Ammon's pretty handy. I love that he did much of the tiling himself.

Connor so cracks me up sometimes!! Trying out the new floor...uh...face down with his bears.

Moved the furniture back in and it's messy already again! But Amelia looks happy with her bear that's nearly as big as she is!

Kids enjoying the new tile in the kitchen...

Connor loves to play Angry Birds with his magnets on the dishwasher. Amelia has found the magnet bowl is a great seat. Both kids are pretty creative. 

(As a side note, can you see Connor's knee? For one of my mending projects I made some of Connor's holey jeans' knees into monster knees. Now his multiple pairs of ripped jeans can be worn to school again!)

Ammon put the baseboards in last week (mid-April) and we painted them Saturday and touched up the walls. We plan to have the house finally all straightened up this week. Can't wait!

Birthdays

Melanie is...flaming old!

Amelia turned 2...

...and enjoys her brother.

 

What a goofball!