"Where have you been"

The very fact that I have not posted anything on my blog in months just shows me how BUSY life has become.  I have sat down to write several times and just said forget it.  I have put "Post a Blog Entry" on my list of things to do each week and have yet to check off till today.

"Where have you been?" ... seems to be the question I feel like I get asked a lot lately. 

So where have i been? why have you not heard from me? Well to be quite honest I have been working.

I now work Monday to Monday. 

I continue to work as a substance abuse counselor Monday - Friday from 5:30am - 2:00pm.
I study with a friend each Tuesday afternoon for several hours for my licensing exam that I plan to take again in November. 
I have supervision each Thursday for an hour, and Group Supervision the last Wednesday of each month.
I work at an In -Treatment residential facility for eating disorders Saturday and Sunday 7:00am - 3:00pm.  I  have house sat for 3 different families this summer.  I have taught some swimming lessons for a family in my small group.  And Once in a while I baby sit.

I know it sounds like a whole lot.  And it is. But truth is, I need the money.  In my unemployment months I accrued a significant amount of debt and I am working very hard to get that paid off.  I need 3,000 direct hours of client contact to work towards getting my license so I also need the hours. For now this is my new season of life.  I remember when I wasn't working how much I longed for something to do... now i have plenty to do.  For the most part I enjoy what i am doing.  I am getting a lot of experience in a lot of different things.  And honestly I enjoy the other odd jobs of baby sitting and house sitting because they are totally different from my day jobs.

Some days are harder than others in having this schedule.  I am trying my best to make sure to do some fun things when I am not working to maintain some quality of  LIFE.  Other days I just want to lay down and rest.  I try to remind myself that this won't last forever and someday I will get to have weekends again but like I said some days are better than others. 

How crazy is this...
I have a Masters degree and an associate license in counseling and I am making the least amount of money I have every made professionally. 



And it's odd that with the amount of busy that has happened how much my longing for a man in my life has been stirred up.
I long for someone to share the financial burden with.  I long for there to be someone else to make life's decisions with.  I long for someone to help me bare the burden's of life with.  I know that marriage is hard, messy, and not perfect.  But I can't help but think of what life would be like if someone was apart of this with me.  I know that if I was married I may not have been able to do all the things I have done like go to Seminary, move to wherever I want, work all these hours, etc.  But I don't know that I want all this freedom all the time.  I know it may sound crazy but sometimes I wish I had someone to argue with besides myself.  I wish I had someone else to decide what to get at the grocery store.  I wish I had someone else's laundry to fold.  I wish that when I opened a suitcase for a trip it had his clothing packed along side mine.  I wish when I planned a trip I had to think of two tickets instead of one.  I still long for man in my life ... and I get afraid that the amount of work I have taken on will prevent this from happening. 

To all of you who read this blog.  Thank you.  I appreciate you and your wanting to know what's happening in my life. thank you to all who have nudged me to keep it up. 

My prodical kitty

 Many of you know who read my blog know that I have two cats.  I got my cats in Hawaii and they have been my travel companions through all these different transitions.  My cats moved with me from Hawaii, Florida, Texas, and now Alabama (and all the moves within each of these places).  They have been sometimes the only constant thing in my life.  There were some days in this past year feeding them is what got me out of bed.  I know this all must sound crazy.  I realize that my cats are not humans.  I know that they are pets. Truth is they have been a part of my life everyday in some way these past 6 years.  I have stories .. crazy stories about each of my kitties.

So here is another one.

June 3:  I was cleaning my apartment and had left the back door and front door to my apartment open. The kitties were hanging out on the steps as they usually do. I had been cleaning for a few hours and noticed that Haku was missing. It was no big deal they go out a lot and sometimes they are gone a few hours. But then a huge storm blew threw and I was sad that she was not in.  I went to church and a dinner and expected to see her when I got home... I didn't.  The rest of the night till 2:00 a.m. I looked for her and waited on the couch by the door hoping she would pop her head in the window to meow at me to let her in...

the next few days were spent calling animal shelters, vets, animal control, walking for hours in my neighborhood, and frankly a lot of crying.  I was shocked at how sad I was.  I was exhausted from constantly checking my doors and thinking of what else I could be doing that would bring her home. I was mad that I had moved her so many times and that if I hadn't moved to Alabama maybe she wouldn't be missing.

After a full week of her missing I couldn't help but think she was dead.  But I kept hearing these crazy stories of cats missing for days or weeks and then showing up.  I tried to hope but it was minimal.

June 12:  I woke up and got out of bed hating my life.  There had been a huge storm that night before and I had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep.  I checked the front and back door as usual and no Haku.  I was getting my lunch together when all of the sudden I heard a meow.  I ran to the back door and in walks my cat!!
AFTER 9 Days of missing ... here she was in my kitchen.  I swept her up into my arms and cried.  I noticed she was so light and frail.  She had a few sores but no broken bones. 

 

 Here are pictures I took right after she walked in.  She just ate and ate. 

My kitty that had been lost came home. 

 

It was the best day. I literally spent my evening just staring at her. I was so happy! and relieved.

 

hoping this didn't all sound too crazy cat lady like. 

A year

Today marks one year since I graduated from seminary where this whole blog thing started.

So since May 21 ,2011 I have ...
Moved to several states (Texas , Alabama)
Took a huge test
Turned 30
Started a job working in drug addiction
Moved to another apartment in Birmingham
Got my ALC ( associate licensed counselor)
And Started another part time job working with eating disorders at inpatient treatment center.

I still miss sometimes sitting in a classroom, being in Seminary.
I miss my class. I miss feeling a sense of really clear direction.

I guess I just wanted to take a moment to remember this day that for me one year ago was my life biggest accomplishment.

Hope

"hope is more than saying, 'it will all be Ok'. As we'll see, suffering and struggle is very much a part of the journey toward freedom. But a hopeful vision dares to defy the voices of despair." - Chuck DeGroat book leaving Egypt

Repentance

I have heard a great many meanings to the word " Repentance".

But today I decided on the meaning I am going to stick with.

" repentance is not changing
Its agreeing with God that your screwed up" - Steve Brown

Happy Easter

My Easter morning consisted of making hot cross buns for a church brunch and picking some flowers in my back yard at my new apartment.

Who is that kitty in the window

This is not a deep or thought out post but couldn't help but take a picture and post it.
Love that my cats bring me smiles.