A winner.
Embracing change
I like to do reflections. Especially year end ones, because it allows me to review whatever I've done wrong throughout the year, and redeem myself(if possible). Only when I sit down and think about all the things, be it big or small, will I then be constantly reminded of God's goodness in my life.
I remember how tough this year is for me. Coping with my emotions, my relationships, my new school, every little thing that tries to sap the energy out of me. I will never never ever forget whatever happened on 3rd February 2009- the immense pain that swallowed my heart; perhaps no one can relate. Even till now I'm pretty certain, no one can truly understand. But it allowed me to have a good look of those fair-weathered friends, and those who walk the talk.
I'm glad I made it out alive today. I'm pretty sure people out there were looking at me, and seeing how I ever cope with everything that's changing in my life. Hey, my faith was all worthwhile. (refering to post at the beginning of the year)
I think our feelings exist in rearrangeable layers. I can be happy at this instant. But if I dig into myself and coax a different layer up to the surface, I could very well be miserable. Dig into a different part of me, and I could bring up the fury. Or the hope. Or the hopelessness. Or the blessed.And I think we have that choice. To dig into ourselves and paint on that final layer. It's not that it's fake or that we're hiding from ourselves. It's just a choice. A perspective.
I've learnt to appreciate my friends, those whom I used to take for granted because I get to see them everyday, now more after I've been into a new school. I like it how we can take a look out for everyone in a group and not needing to be so reliant on a certain one. I like how we can click in so naturally even after not meeting for so long. I like how my heart comes to a state of calm everytime I see the smiles on their faces. I like how we can be ourselves and not needing to leave anyone out the conversations.
Thank you zigaa, you made odd numbers never awkward. :-)
Reflections
MJC BADMINTON 3RD YO~~~~~
I have to pen down my string of thoughts and emotions and keep this experience alive.
I've never gone so far in the badminton arena before and being in mj blessed me with that opportunity. Being able to play till national semi-finals, meeting the elites, cream of the crop.. Definitely an eye opener. If it was me a few days back blogging here, I feel embarrassed to say that I got thrashed by RJC. Maybe not just embarrassed, ashamed to my teammates, but shattered. I never got so badly manipulated on court before that my whole mind went blank. I felt so useless as a player and I wished I could just stop playing- perhaps just being a cheerleader at the sideline was a more appropriate task for me.
3rd in nationals. What a great accomplishment is that! But I would never have done it without wonderful teammates.. They are seriously too awesome to describe. Finals was too close a miss for us, but I know someone of higher authority up there is giving me a chance. I was clearly not ready, up to the standard if you were to witness my match with rjc. And of course I would want to deliver my point too if I was going to play such a crucial match, who wouldnt? Taste of victory is gonna be so so so much sweeter if I was able to contribute to that winning point.
Finals, leave it to next year. When I'm ready, when I'm stronger, when I'm swifter, when I'm faster, when I'm prepared to meet those players who mercilessly crushed any last hope of spark in me and left me dying in the court... BE PREPARED.
