Last dive solo trip in feb, im a bit reluctant to go actually, after my supposed to go partner bailed on me. And to go mabul just by myself after long dreadful shift at work, i wish to stay at home in my mancave and not to meet ppl at all for the next few days. Anyhow, force myself to go and i went anyway, after postnight shift and only pack my bag few hours before the flight. And that feeling is gone when i arrived on the island. It was... Amazing & breathaking. SubhanAllah. When i arrived, only 4 guest in the resort. Me and group of 3men; mr naga, abg ben & poi. I join them for dinner, we talk and instantly click. Not all ppl u meet u can talk instantly about a lot of things, right. I hate small talk, I hate shallow and loud ppl. And we talked about meaning of life, memories, flaws, experiences, insecurities & fears. Kind of weird deep conversation to hv with stranger, and somehow it made my day.
Mr naga & abg ben somehow very holistic and always remind me, subtlely how greatful is our creator, how blissful we are to enjoy our life, to see the God's creature, to be blessed with a lot of things. Somehow, that subtle message, made my heart warm. I am nowhere near pious or obedient or even religious person. But, after met them, i set goal for myself, i want to be a better muslim, to be close to Allah, to my creator. To be grateful for a lot of things.
And to be honest, my heart found peace. I dont find prayer is a heavy & burden anymore but something to ease my soul, my mind, to be close to my creator.
I got into car accident early this week. And its not something i want to remember. After the incident and i settle everything by myself; call the ambulance, made police report & settle things with insurance & tow truck, then only then comes the emotional trauma & post traumatic breakdown. I thought im strong enough by myself & handle everything on own, but apparently im not. I cried my eyes out. Urghh i hate myself for that, for not being able to contain my emotion. Then i took grab to mak's house only i told mak what happened. Later of course colleagues know about it because i call ambulance and my staff saw me there involved in the accident. As usual, the concern & text from my colleagues made my heart warm, & suffocate me at the same time. Yes, im still not yet ready to received random act of kindness & affection of love from ppl. Anyhow, thank you guys. ðŸ˜
Things happened for a reason, irregardless good or bad. To teach me a lesson. And im sure there must be a silver lining for what everything happened.
And im blessed & grateful for the last trip i went. So many wonderful things happened. Despite indesicive to go. I got one to one advance class with arief. Then with extra lesson with abang ben. Extra learning point, witness & co manage DCS in front of my eyes, and it was bad, that patient require hyperbaric chamber therapy. thank God abang ben & mr naga were there, and they take responsibility of that guy. (Lesson for me, its important to have fun, but more important is safety first! And to find reliable & safe dive master/instructor) Only me myself from the resort to go sipadan on that day, so i got dive master on my own. Swimming along with whale shark!! How lucky i am! and overall it was safe & wonderful trip. I feel relax & my heart found ease.
Special bonus, i met amazing ppl that warm my heart.
I am grateful for random ppl i met, to teach me a lesson, to remind me about life & death, to be grateful, to remain calm, to appreciate everything in life.